tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 7, 2019 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kevin costner, comedian tim robinson, the national spelling bee champs, this week in unnecessary censorship, and music from the lumineers. and now on your mark get set, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: when we come back, the >> jimmy: what a matchup. this has been the most dramatic series in the bay area since
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nash bridges, i think, really. kevin durant, once again was unable to play. he's out with an injury. at this point, the warriors' roster is so bandaged up, it looks like the cast of the "thriller" video. moments from now i will compete in a spelling battle against the winners of the scripps national spelling be, so -- [cheers and applause] this is the 16th year in a row we have done this. i am 0-15. eight kids won the spelling bee this year. they had to call it a tie between eight kids, because they ran out of words, which, for an organization of smart people is one of the dumbest things i've ever heard. so now i'll be forced to send not one but eight children home in tears tonight, and it's their fault. i also want to wish a happy birthday to our vice president mike pence who turned 60 years
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old today. [ applause ] our warmup guy doesn't pay much attention, but it was an exciting night for the pences. mother let him blow out all the candles by himself. actually, he didn't blow the candles out. he stares at them creepily unblinking until they get uncomfortable and put themselves out. mike pence's wife tweeted may all your wishes come true. and it worked. immediately after she posted that, trump choked on a chicken leg and she turned into burt reynolds, so congratulations. this is the vice president's cake today, the theme was space force. and the president had a special space force message. for all the money we're spending, nasa should not be talking about going to the moon. they should be focussed on the much bigger things we are doing, including mars, of which the moon is part, defense and science. the moon is a part of mars?
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is that defense or science? i will give $10,000 to the first reporter who gets trump to name the planets in the solar system, but this was an interesting tweet. not that they're not all interesting tweets. less than a month ago he wrote under my administration we are restoring nasa to greatness, and we are going back to the moon, then mars. now he says they shouldn't be talking about the moon. maybe he wants it to be a surprise for the moon people? i don't know. but the thing i admire about donald trump the most is his consistency. he always doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. this was good. a group of world leaders signed a proclamation to commemorate the 75th anniversary of d-day, which was yesterday. and for whatever reason president trump decided to sign up at the top. that's him, like it was a co-worker's get well card. all the other leaders signed at the bottom. angela ameri
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angela merkel, emmanuel macron, but president trump signed at the top. who does that. even his signature is isolationist. the news that the president signed his name above all the other leaders isn't the biggest news, but what would surprise us at this point? we went out on the street and asked people what they thought of the fake news we made up that donald trump decided to add his signature to the declaration of independence. and how did they react to that? let's find out in a special declaration of independence edition of lie witness news. >> as you know, donald trump interrupted prime time last night to make a special announcement, where were you when you found out? >> i was sitting at home on the couch. >> were you with people? >> i was with my friends, yeah. >> and you guys were watching tv when it was interrupted? >> no, i got the alert on my
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phone. >> the alert was that the president signed the declaration of independence, was that surprising or upsetting to you? >> very upset, surprised, shocked, speechless. >> did you hear the huge news that president trump added his signature to the declaration of independence last night? >> unfortunately, i did. >> where were you? >> i was at the gym just now and they had like tvs and i read about it and like tv. >> oh, i see. >> where were you last night when you heard donald trump signed the declaration of independence. >> i was at one of my stripper houses over there. we was chillin', eatin' popcorn. we saw that he signed the declaration of independence and we said damn, that's crazy. >> what was her name? >> big booty julie. >> is honesty important to you? >> yeah, my nose piercing was $5,000. >> you're actually on lie witness news. we actually made that whole thing up.
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>> oh, nice, great, i just responded to something that, oh, that's cool, that's cool. >> we appreciate your dishonesty. >> appreciate your dishonesty, too. great. >> jimmy: we always appreciate dishonesty, god mess america and god bless big booty judy. you know jamba juice, the smoothie place? they're changing their name to jamba. they say they're doing it because loyal fans have already been calling it jamba for years now, which may be true, but those are disturbed people. those are the same people who call banana republic banana. it's not acceptable. jamba without juice, now we've got dunkin' without doughnuts. once you start dropping the words, if you did it to monopoly, it would be mono,
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dominoes is dom. papa, chuck, ho. hard. wiener. dick. it's no good. but jamba juice had to do something. the smoothie business is apparently in decline, because the word juice has become a negative for health-conscious people because of all the sugar in juice, whereas soun sounds like a fun lyric from a lionel richie song. you know what would be better for jamba juice? just start selling weed. or if you want to bring in a younger customer base, don't shorten the name, just update it. >> at jam ba, we've heard your concerns and are listening. welcome to the new artisanal jamba artisanal vape billy eye lish. we don't sell anything.
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we're a clean, empty space where you are hang out and check your phone. that's cool, right? do people still say cool? hello? we have no idea. please drink our liquid. jamba artisanal vape billie eilish. it's lit, af! >> jimmy: the federal communications yesterday voted to give cell phone companies the power to block robocalls which i get about five of every day now. everybody hates these calls, so the fcc is allowing verizon, sprint, at&t and the others to block them before the calls get to us. i have to say, die feel bad for the robots. they come into the world thinking they're going to be a terminator or transformer. maybe a claw machine at a carnival, but instead they get
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stuck in a dead-end job making calls about carpet cleaning and solar panel rebates. all the government has to do is come up with a phone that blocks every call and we'll be set. since it is friday night, it is time to keep the air waves clean by bleeping and blurring the big moments of the week. it's this week in unnecessary censorship. >> we begin with our world lead today. president trump's state visit to the uk. president trump right now [ bleep ]ing a dick with prince charles. >> did you or did you not [ bleep ] the queen? >> i did not. but i had a great relationship. >> he wants something from her. he's trying to get a [ bleep ]. so he's always nice when he's trying to get a [ bleep ]. >> even though you lost in the fourth quarter, you guys were [ bleep ]in' around, diving on loose balls. >> you do have to protect a man like klay. remember this is a man who had
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blood coming out of his [ bleep ] in the western conference finals. >> our country is in a time of crisis. the time for small [ bleep ] is over. >> bull [ bleep ]. >> all right, susan, you are the best. great [ bleep ] and all. >> bull [ bleep ]. >> these temperatures are actually a little bit cooler than average for this time of year, but it feels awesome out today. i was [ bleep ]ing my daughter earlier and it was great. >> at last a young boy that [ bleep ] a [ bleep ]. >> peek-a-boo. >> i'm going to [ bleep ] you. ooh. lindy jawbreaker. >> jimmy: all right, we are going to take a break. but when we come back, my annual war of words with those kids, the winners of the scripps national spilling bee, so stick around. abc's jimmy kimmel live,
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specialty store prices. at ross. yes for less. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. music from the lumineers is on the way. but every year we invite the winners of the scripps national spelling be. this year there were eight. e-i-g-h-t. >> those eight spellers join together. >> jimmy: after three and a half hours of spelling, the judges ran out of words. so it's time to meet the kids who exhausted the spelling bee itself.
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>> dicky: the scripps national spellin spelling bee co-champions. erin powers. from flower mound, texas....... abhijay. from white house station new jersey, christopher sarou. from clarksville, maryland,and,, saketh. >> jimmy: congratulations to you by the way. there's a lot of you. >> thank you. >> what kind of a name is erin?
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, were you surprised when they ran out of words? >> yeah. yes. >> jimmy: you were, yeah, yeah. i have to pick one of you. otherwise this would take an hour and a half. i don't know, i think i'll pick the smallest one. you're the smallest. you step over here. and you are going to be the representative here, but you can consult with your teammates, your friends. do you consider these people to be friends or teammates? what? your rivals, what do you think? >> mostly friends. >> jimmy: who's your best friend in the group? >> i don't know. i'm not really sure. >> jimmy: which one do you like the least? that one he knows. my cousin sal would most
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definitely never cheat to benefit me. >> why would i do that? i don't want you to lose. >> jimmy: you guys can sit. as our official spelling bee, the one and only guillermo. come on out, guillermo. are you ready to pronounce stuff, guillermo? >> i'm ready, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'm going to drop you nerds like jamba dropped juice. who goes first? >> first up, one of the eight co-champions, he hails from st. mark's school. >> jimmy: boo, boo, boo. >> i can consult with my teammates, right? >> you haven't heard the word yet. >> jimmy: you talk right into that microphone and the consulting can be done later. >> what is sohum's first word?
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>> pictures k. >> can you repeat the >> pic >> pictures k. >> can you repeat the word one more time? >> pictures k. >> okay, pictures k. p-i-c-t-u-r-e-s-q-u-e. >> that is correct! >> all right, next up, from las vegas, nevada, two-time spelling champ in 7th and 8th grade, jimmy kimmel, everybody. >> jimmy: you hear that? two-time spelling bee champ. not one eighth of a time like you. >> guillermo, what is jimmy's first word? >> dia query.
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>> jimmy: please repeat the word. can you use it in a sentence please? >> i want a dia query. >> jimmy: huh. what is the origin of the word? >> just i think it's mexico. >> jimmy: dia query. can i consult with the team? do you know what he means? what do you think it is? >> you don't give information to people who hurt our feelings. >> jimmy: hmm. >> one more time? >> jimmy: yeah. >> dia query.
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joich b >> jimmy: boy, i have no idea. d-i-a-c-u-r-e. >> no, we're looking for daiquiri. >> jimmy: oh, daiquiri! >> he said it. >> three times. >> come on up. your next word. all right guillermo, give it to him. >> jimmy: how is that dia by the way? it's d-i-a. >> bon cheaties. >> jimmy: let me fix the microphone for you. >> can you repeat the word. >> >> does this come from the greek
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word? >> no, this comes from spain. >> nice, bronchitis. b-r-o-n-c-h-i-t-i-s. >> that's correct! the chops aampions are up 2-0. >> jimmy's in the hole. good luck. >> jimmy: g-o-o-d. >> irish descent. >> jimmy: repeat that 30 more times please. >> irish descent. >> jimmy: oh, i i think it's iridescent. i-r-i-d-e-s-c-e-n-t. >> we're going to allow that. all of a sudden, it's 2-1. >> guillermo, third word for so hum. >> this is getting inconvenient.
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idea. can we just present the kids with the prizes. the kids are going home objection list que occulist vr device. since there are eight of you, we are going to break the trophy into eight pieces. there's a piece of the trophy, there's some for you, congratulations. come on, kids, take it. thank you. all right. congratulations, everybody. we have a good show tonight. we've got music from the the t lumineers tonight. we've got tim robinson here and we'll be right back with kevin costner. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by facebook. let's find more that brings us together.
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mercedes-benz outdoor stage. next week we have new shows at our regular time with will arnett, ali wong, pamela adlon, tom hanks will be here. and we will have music from koffee and king calaway. and we will be in primetime monday night for game 5 of the nba finals with anthony anderson and tom holland aka spider-man. that's monday at 8:00/7:00 central. so please join us for all of that. our first guest is an award-winning actor and director whom you know from so many great movies we'd need a scroll to get through them. his latest - is the sweeping western drama series "yellowstone". >> how many times have i sat on the podium for you, donnie, stood for you? think you'd be sheriff if it weren't for me? maybe you haven't noticed, but there's a war going on in this valley. today's the day you choose sides. >> jimmy: "yellowstone" returns to the paramount network june 19th. please welcome kevin costner.
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[cheers and ♪ >> jimmy: how you doin'? >> good. >> jimmy: very good to see you, you look fantastic as always. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want imagine what it would be like to get up in the morning and look at my reflection and go, yeah, i'm kevin costner. i hope you appreciate that, no one gets to do that other than you. congratulations you were inducted into, and this is pretty cool, into the hall of great western performers. do i have that correct? >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: the hall of fame, in oklahoma they have a national cowboy and western. >> the cowboy hall of fame. >> jimmy: the cowboy hall of fame. [cheers and applause] i was wondering if anyone else from compton had ever been
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inducted into the cowboy hall of fame. >> no. no. but it was a, i consider it a really great honor. i was able to go back there and a lot of times when you're going to talk to a bunch of people like that, you know, compton or los angeles or hollywood can seem like mars to everyone, but when i was back there i looked at them and i said i'm going to talk to you, you thought enough to give me this award and when i'm done you'll see that we have quite a bit in common, because my parents were from oklahoma and cage out me out of the dust. when i was done talking we realized how much i was able to relate to them. >> jimmy: you gave a speech there. you talked about show and tell when you're in kindergarten. will you tell that story? because that's a good story. >> yeah, well, you know when you go back to speak to people you think what am i going to talk to them about. in this western theme the movies seemed to be obvious. i'm going to tell them how maybe i came to be where people see me now and it started really early
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in my life. and i guess the first thing that maybe should have been a clue to everyone was in compton in kindergarten on sharing day you are supposed to bring the coolest thing you have, and so i, i did. and i brought, i walked to school. i brought my father's .3030, which is a rifle. of course they, and the teacher right away, i thought all the other stuff paled compared to what i brought, but she quickly put it away. she put a note on me, because i couldn't read, and it said kevin can't be allowed, i'm guessing, to do this, but that was my first sharing day. >> jimmy: you're like eazy-e walking around compton with a shotgun. this show, "yellowstone". it's the sdecond season premiers in weeks. this is a very good show. i don't usually watch
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western-type things, but it's really good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: there's a thing, i didn't know it was a real thing, but it happens in the first episode. it's called, the poker where the bull comes out. >> the bull poker. >> jimmy: bull poker. >> i don't know what the exact name is, but it holds still until the bull actually comes and hits somebody. look, there's not a lot to do out there. >> jimmy: explain what happens in this, because i went and watched some of it, mostly in rodeos they do this stuff, but it's crazy. >> it's looney. there's always drinkin' involved in stuff like this. >> jimmy: there has to be. >> this bull picks them and destroys them. i've never seen the fun in it, just from 40 yards away it looks funny. >> jimmy: so everyone gathers around a poker table, and you play cards, and then whoever is the best hand when the bull attacks you guys wins. >> yeah, well, nobody wins. >> jimmy: nobody wins, because
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the cards are all over the place. >> and the guy says i won, really? >> jimmy: really, the bull wins, that's who wins. >> bulls, honest to god. >> jimmy: bulls are, yeah, they don't like us. >> i've done a lot of crazy things. but that bull riding that you see on television, that really goes to the top of the heap. every time you look at it, somebody's going to get wrecked. >> jimmy: is it crazier than walking around with a shotgun in compton at 5 years old? >> a long-range rifle, precise. >> jimmy: okay. >> i must have drug that thing. because you know what i actually used that rifle in the show. it was my father's, i kind of keep him close to me. >> jimmy: oh, that's cool. >> i must have drug that thing. i'm sure there was a big discussion about it, you know, at the school. >> jimmy: it would be on the news if that happened now. >> i know. >> jimmy: you sent me a video, because we fish together. we enjoy fly-fishing, and this is a video, do you mind if i
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share this video? >> i called her and -- >> jimmy: you got the okay? >> i begged her. >> jimmy: this is your wife. you are fishing with kids or hangin' out. >> we're just hangin' out and saw her walking along the lake, and she was looking at the water, and i was kind of unsure about what she was doing. somebody next to me put the camera on her, and i guess this is what we're going to see. >> jimmy: let's take a look. >> what? >> oh, my god! >> you caught a fish? >> jimmy: and back to the lake you go. that's unbelievable. [cheers and applause] >> missed that scrap, didn't you? >> jimmy: wow, that's pretty good. >> i took her right home and took her right back up to our
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room and -- [cheers a [cheers and applause] i was very, i was thrilled with her. i talked to her about her behavior. joi >> jimmy: kevin costner, everyone. the season premiere of "yellowstone" airs june 19th on the paramount network. we'll be back with tim robinson. g volkswagen and the growing scandal. dissatisfied customers filing complaints against the german auto maker. ♪ because a vision softly creeping ♪ ♪ left its seeds while i was sleeping ♪ ♪ and the vision ♪ that was planted in my brain ♪ ♪ still remains ♪ within the sound of silence ♪ in restless dreams i walked alone ♪
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♪ >> dicky: if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show, call 866-jimmy tix or go to jimmy kimmel live.com. i've always been curious. i love learning. i work in technology, and after work i'm learning to cook at a restaurant. when i was looking for jobs on linkedin, i found a company that would support my passions outside of work. i hit apply i heard back from the recruiter. and here i am. i wanna have a lot of stories... try a lot of different things. this job, it was exactly what i was looking for. ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is the co-creator and star of a very funny comedy show of the sketch variety. it's called "i think you should leave with tim robinson." >> this is incredible. >> i just thought it was cute. >> and you'd be fine if i ate it? >> huh? >> the gift receipt. you'd be fine if i ate it? >> why would you eat it? >> you said you like the gift, so you wouldn't have any qualms
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if i ate the gift receipt and it didn't exist any more, right rick, right melissa? >> i don't have any qualms, you can eat it if you like. >> awesome. down the hatch, bon appetit. >> jimmy: "i think you should leave with tim robinson" is on netflix now. please welcome tim robinson. ♪ >> how are you? >> jimmy: boy, the show is so funny. it's become quite a phenomenon in my home. >> oh, great. >> jimmy: is it i think you should life with tim robinson? or i think you should leave, with tim robinson? >> you can take it either way.
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>> jimmy: some of the kara characteristicharacters are at least a little offputting and they go well beyond too far to the point of, do you notice people, like do you sigh aee an that happening in your real life? >> yeah, well i do it all the time. >> jimmy: you do it personally. >> yeah you get embarrassed and you want to blame something else. if i knock over a glass of water, i'm just like, this table is weird. is this a normal height of a table? my friend sam richardson one time saw a woman fall when we lived in chicago. and she fell and got back up and she said these damn skechers shapeups. >> jimmy: you worked for "saturday night live" for how long? >> i worked there for four years, wrote there for three. i was in the cast for one. it didn't go well.
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>> jimmy: many of your former snl stars are in the show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you good at pitching these bits to the hosts and celebrities? >> i don't know that i'm good at it. i certainly enjoyed it. on monday you have to like pitch basically a kind of fake idea to the celebrity who's hosting that week. and it's an idea that probably will never get written. that was my favorite part because they can be as weird as you want. >> jimmy: why is it a fake idea? >> i think because to tell a good idea it's too long. so a fake idea, really short and one joke. >> jimmy: then what if they like the fake idea? >> then you have to write crap. >> jimmy: what are some of the fake ideas you've pitched? >> there was one that was an intentional walk cage instead of a batting cage. so you would just go in and shoot four balls outside of your range. >> jimmy: well outside? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's good.
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they didn't bite on that? >> no, and i'm glad they didn't. then there was one that was the blue devils. they were the opposite of the blue angels. and they were submarines under water who did like close tricks but nobody could see it. you could just see bubbles in the water. >> jimmy: probably hard to illustrate, but a funny idea. >> yeah. there was a leather life jacket for when cool guys fall off a boat. hey. >> jimmy: you have two kids. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how old are your kids? >> 9 and8. buster and penny. >> jimmy: buster and penny. solid names. >> they're like a sunday panel comic or something. >> jimmy: buster and penny. and your daughter, i know you've posted some instagram videos of your daughter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: explain before we see
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this why is she doing what she's doing? >> she just does little bits around the house. and sometimes i ask if i can record them and show sae says y no, and some of the bits are a little scary, and this is one that is a little scary. >> jimmy: these videos are directed at you. >> not all of them. this one is. >> jimmy: here we go. >> mommy, where are you? penny, where are >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> one of those was on father's day. >> jimmy: at least it's just the regular knife and not a steak knife. that's when you can become concerned >> that's the only one she can get, a butter knife. >> jimmy: i assume the kids are
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too young to watch t show? >> i would allow them to if they wanted to. i don't think they really want to. >> jimmy: okay. >> my son saw, early on when i was watching like a first edit of it my son watched over my shoulder and was like, you're a real crap head in that. and i was like, yeah. the whole show i'm a real crap head. >> jimmy: i have asked two people for an autograph for my daughter. one of them was tom welling from "smallville." she was about 13 or something when we got that. and that's hanging on the wall of her home and the other one that she requested was this one of you. and i do want to thank you, not only for signing it, but also, i don't know if you can just take a look up there, for really personalizing it so beautifully. these words are going to mean a lot to her. >> i knew you were going to show it, and i didn't want anybody to see my handwriting is so bad.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank kevin costner and tim robinson. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, this is their album "three", here with the song "gloria," the lumineers! pcpc ♪ ♪ ♪ gloria ♪ i smell it on your breath gloria the booze and peppermint gloria ♪ ♪ no one said
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enough is enough ♪ ♪ ♪ gloria they found you on the floor gloria my hand was tied to yours ♪ ♪ gloria did you finally see that enough is enough ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ did you know me when i was younger then i could take the whole world with me ♪ ♪ i would find myself feeling alone heaven help me now heaven show the way ♪ ♪ get me back on my own two feet i would lie awake and pray you don't ♪ ♪ lie awake for me
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oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ oh oh oh ♪ ♪ gloria you crawled up on your cross gloria you made us sit and watch ♪ ♪ gloria no one said enough is enough ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ heaven help me now heaven help heaven show the way heaven show ♪ ♪ get me back on my own two feet i would lie awake and pray you don't lie awake for me ♪
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♪ every night awake every night every day alone every day ♪ ♪ get me back on my own two feet i would lie awake and pray you don't lie awake for me ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh gloria ♪ ♪ will you just decide gloria there's easier ways to die ♪ ♪ gloria have you had enough ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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myrtle and broadway ♪ ♪ but i'd be glad to see manhattan for once ♪ this is "nightline." tonight, mega mansion marketing. if these walls could talk. >> over the past 30 years i've put my own mark on the place. >> they'd sound just like michael douglas and say "buy me." the castles, palaces and villas for sale. it's a buyers' market. maybe there's a $15 million steal. plus hot ones. the show putting celebrities in the hot seat, chasing spicy wings with spicier questions. but first the "nightline" five.
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