thank >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- tom hanks. from "better things," pamela adlonn. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from koffee. but now, just hold on, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] don't mind him. welcome once again to those of you who joined us earlier tonight in prime time tonight. we had game 6 from oakland between the golden state warriors and the toronto raptors. it was the final game for the warriors ever at oracle arena in oakland. maybe the final game of the season. we don't know who won because we

shoot our show -- people don't realize we shoot the show at 8:00 in the morning. we try to get a jump on -- [ laughter ] kelly and ryan. but we do know that someone won and we also know we have an american treasure from oakland with us tonight. the great tom hanks is here on our show. you may have heard it's toy story 4. i saw it's other night, and it's great, which is no surprise. i like every tom hanks movie. i like every tom hanks movie except the one where he saves matt damon at the end. [ laughter ] but other than that. tomorrow as you may know is flag day, and it's also our president's birthday. donald trump turns 73 years old tomorrow. he's the oldest president ever. i'll send him your best. [ laughter ] how is donald trump only 73? it feels like he's been president since '73. [ laughter ] anyway, they're having a fun shindig for him at the white house.

melania's planning to hide inside a cake. she's not going to jump out, though. she's going to stay in there a couple years until the coast is clear. but the sprnt on a hell of a roll right now. did you see his interview with george stephanopoulos? george stephanopoulos spent 30 hours with trump over two days, which a lot -- i don't think i've spent that much time with my father over two days' time. you're not going to believe this. he said some crazy stuff. trump weighed in on a variety of subjects including, and this is unbelievable. the whole last two years he's been saying no collusion with foreign agents. no collusion. no collusion. well, here's hae said when george presented him with a hypothetical about collusion. >> your campaign this time around, if foreigners, if russia, if china, if someone else offers you information on opponents, should they accept it or should they call the fbi? >> i think maybe you do both. i think you might want to listen. i don't know. there's nothing wrong with listening. if somebody called from a country, norway, we have information on your opponent, oh. i think i'd want to hear it. >> you want that kind of

interference in our election? >> it's not an interference. they have information. i think i'd take it. >> jimmy: nope. wrong answer. the correct answer is no. so give it another shot. >> let's put yourself in a position. you're a congressman. somebody comes up and says, hey, i have information on your opponent. do you call the fbi? >> if it's coming from russia you do. >> i've seen a lot of things in my life. i don't think in my whole life i've called the fbi. in my whole life. you don't call the fbi. life doesn't work that way. >> the fbi director says that's what should happen. >> fbi director is wrong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's incredible. he honestly doesn't seem to know what collusion is. all he knows is he didn't do it. but he would do it because why not? who cares what the guy he hired to be the head of the fbi thinks about it? and here's another question. why doesn't george stephanopoulos have a chair? [ laughter ] the president is sitting. he's standing over the desk like the i.t. guy or something.

the president's comments about collusion didn't go over well with democrats or even a few republicans. there were more calls for impeachment hearings today. he basically invited the russians to interfere with our election again. even trump seemed to know this was bad. he was playing defense this morning trying to make adjustments to what he said. he wrote "i meet and talk to foreign governments every day. i just met with the queen of england, the prince of wales, the p.m. of the united kingdom, president of france, presidential of poland we talk about everything." and yes, he spelled wales with an h. which means the president may be in contact with aquaman. [ laughter ] today was one of the worst days pr-wise. [ cheers and applause ] in quite some time for team trump. which makes me wonder about the timing of this announcement. this afternoon he tweeted after 3 1/2 years our wonderful sarah huckabee sanders will be leaving the white house at the end of the month. [ cheers and applause ]

she's going tome to become a professional skateboarder. which is true. or as true as anything she said while she was working at the white house. sarah sanders hasn't held a press conference in more than three months. i'm not sure what job it is she's leaving. she did appear with reporters today to allow the president the chance to say good-bye. >> she's going to be leaving the service of her country and she's going to be going i guess you could say private sector but i hope she's going to -- she comes from a great state. >> look at her. have you ever seen that face so happy before? she is literally huckabeaming with joy at the thought of leaving at the end of -- is there anyone even left working at the white house? it's starting to feel like one of those empty blockbuster video stores, that maybe they'll put in a temporary costume shop for halloween. but sarah applebee sanders has been the white house press secretary for two wonderful years and now as she gets ready to take her leave we stop to reflect and pay tribute to all

the hucka-b.s. she gave us. ♪ >> i let you rudely interrupt me and your colleague. i'm going to ask you that allow me to finish my answer. >> i also think it's ironic -- i'm trying to answer your question. i politely wait sxid even called on you despite the fact you interrupted me while calling on your colleague. >> guys. settle down. >> seriously. >> i'm trying to be serious but i'm not going to have you yell out of turn. it's not what i said and i know it's hard for you to understand. even short sentences i guess when you're taking my words out of context. >> will you explain -- >> i was trying to before you interrupted me. >> we should be celebrating knows people. i gave you a chance to answer. i'm going to finish your statement. >> i'm trying to answer if you'd stop talking. i'll finish my statement. >> the president's going to continue to lay out the contrast between democrats and republicans. and if you'll let me finish i'll answer it for you. i would be happy to answer it if you would stop talking long enough to let me do that. >> jimmy: she's a special lady.

special lady. nothing official has been announced yet but sources inside the white house believe she will be replaced by a box of tgi friday's loaded ched sxr bacon potato skins. so best of luck to sarah. this was another good moment from george stephanopoulos's interview with donald. the president shared a surprise glimpse at his new design for air force one. >> at the white house a surprise from the president. a new look for air force one that he designed himself. >> there's your new air force one. we added things. >> is the frame still a 747? >> it's a 747. so there it is if you want. >> jimmy: i like it. that's going right on the white house fridge. [ applause ] i love that this is what he's spending time on. he's designing a new plane. it's probably what he should be doing. now, i don't know what ivanka and djtj have planned for father's day on sunday, but father's day is sunday. and fathers, for those who are unfamiliar, are the people who fall asleep on the couch after dinner while your mother lists

which of your cousins gained the most weight. but being a dad, it's not easy. the thing they don't tell you about fatherhood is that for like an hour a day you have to get on the floor and pretend to be a horse. but we came up with something fun in honor of this special day. we want to put some dads to the test. so we went out on the street and we asked them to answer basic questions about their children in our first ever "pop quiz." >> are you and your son close? >> yeah, i think so. >> yeah? and would you consider yourself a pretty involved parent? >> yeah, yeah. >> i'm just going to ask you some questions about your son. just answer them to the best of your ability. >> i will. >> what is your son's birthday? >> that's a good one. that's a good one because i don't know. >> you really don't know his birthday? >> no. >> do you consider you guys pretty close? >> yeah. >> what is your daughter's favorite subject in school? >> social study. >> is that true? >> no. >> what grade is your daughter going into? >> ninth grade.

[ buzzer ] >> what's the name of your daughter's school? >> ash creek elementary school. >> no. >> river creek? >> no. >> something creek. >> no. >> what color are your daughter's eyes? >> brown. >> all right. let's look. that is incorrect. >> they're blue. i have a brown-eyed daughter, though. >> what is your daughter's birthday? >> may 17th. [ buzzer ] oh, no. it's the 14th. and i don't know what year. >> can you name your daughter's teachers? >> mrs. jones. >> no. >> mrs. moore. it's not moore? >> no. that was my elementary school teacher. >> can you name their teachers? >> of course i cannot. [ buzzer ] >> what are your daughters' birthdays? >> why do you do this to me? i give up.

>> any guesses? >> yesterday. >> oh, yeah, yesterday. horrible. >> her birthday was yesterday and you forgot it. >> yes. >> can you name the best friend of each of your daughters? >> marie carmen lopez. jimena lopez. ella marie lopez. christina. >> can you give us the name of their doctor? >> fabbi torres. >> the name of their dentist? >> gabe's dental land. >> what are your daughters' birthdays? >> yes. may 28th, 2009. april 8th, 2013. april 24th, 2006 -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: better luck next year. all right. one more thing before we forge ahead. it's thursday night, which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary

censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> so apparently justin bieber wants to [ bleep ] tom cruise. seriously. no one really knows why. >> it's all about hot sweaty [ bleep ] on the boulevard right now, brandy. >> oh, boy, we like hot sweaty [ bleep ]. >> you know it takes eight guys to [ bleep ] bryan cranston. how is that fair? >> the initial injury was a [ bleep ] injury. this is not a [ bleep ] injury. >> to what? >> like sex. >> i thought you said you want to [ bleep ]. i was like all right. >> especially now that shaft's going back out there it's my duty to [ bleep ] the booty. >> now is not the time for small [ bleep ]. now is the time to [ bleep ] like hell! >> biden, sleepy joe. sleepy joe. is [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] so many times people couldn't stand it anymore. no, don't keep [ bleep ] it. >> only i can fix it! [ bleep ] yourself first, donald trump. >> here's what i believe.

we should dream big. [ bleep ] hard. and win. >> andhappy national [ bleep ] sucker day. >> that explains it. >> it is. >> we love it. >> jimmy: music from koffee. pamela adlonn is here. and we'll be right back with tom hanks! ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by mercedes-benz. there are roadside attractions. and then there's our world-famous on-road attraction. the 2019 glc. lease the glc 300 suv for just $459 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. thank you very much. tonight, she has a excellent and very funny show on fx called "better things." pamela adlon is here with us. then later, she is apple music's up next artist, her ep is called "rapture." koffee from the mercedes-benz stage.

[ cheers and applause ] that's koffee with a k. next week, we have new shows all week. our guests include christina applegate, joel mchale, miles teller, kumail nanjiani, anthony jeselnik, betty gilpin, ayesha curry, jim acosta, himesh patel, plus music from rob thomas, hollywood vampires, and santana. and this weekend in las vegas we are opening, i have a comedy club now in las vegas, it's humbly called jimmy kimmel's comedy club. it is across the street from caesars palace at the linq promenade. this is our grand opening this weekend. are you going to come along with me to vegas tomorrow night? >> guillermo: yes. of course. i'll be with you. >> jimmy: it will be a lot of fun. if are you in las vegas or going there, go check it out. our first guest tonight is a back-to-back oscar-winning actor who has played many men of note, including an astronaut and a gump but none as beloved as sheriff woody, whom he brings to life again in "toy story 4." it opens in theaters a week from friday.

please welcome tom hanks! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> hey! >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> vampire weekend next week wp. >> jimmy: vampire weekend. >> the band. >> jimmy: no, not vampire weekend. hollywood vampire. the vampire weekend was here two weeks ago. >> did you not say vampire weekend? >> jimmy: i said hollywood vampires, which is alice cooper, joe perry, johnny depp. there you go. >> guys all with day jobs that are -- >> jimmy: yeah, guys with other things -- >> coming in and horning in on your musician union dues. >> jimmy: they're very open. they are able to share. and they still get paid the same. >> and you came up with this comedy club how? >> jimmy: my parents actually came up with it. >> i love that you said you gave

the only true important information about how to find it in las vegas. across the street from caesars palace. we all know how to get there. what, you couldn't get catty corner to the trop? did they tear down the dunes? >> jimmy: they did tear down the dunes -- >> i remember back when you were doing your comedy skits in the lounge at the aladdin. that was some good stuff. [ cheers and applause ] that was me smokin' a nat sherman. it wasn't the other thing. >> jimmy: how are you doing? i saw you the other night. >> yeah, we were right next door. >> jimmy: you were next door for the premiere of "toy story 4." i was there with my 2-year-old son and my 4-year-old daughter. >> now, the 2-year-old, it's not a horror movie but there are some toys that maybe are a little bit creepy. >> jimmy: he wasn't bothered by it at all. i think he's too young to be scared of that stuff. >> was he even looking at the screen? >> jimmy: he was looking at the screen the whole time and he kept saying woody, woody, woody,

woody, to the point where someone behind us went "shh." >> that wasn't me. >> jimmy: that was you. [ laughter ] we love it. it was so good. it might be the best "toy story." >> we don't know what they look like. we start going into a recording studio like, i say three and a half years ago and we record for five hour sessions every six or eight months. we don't know what it's going to come out like. >> jimmy: you must have been delighted when you saw it. >> it sounds ridiculous because i'm in it. but it's -- [ laughter ] it's one of the best movies i've ever seen in my life. >> jimmy: it is. [ cheers and applause ] >> it truly is. and with the fact, the voices, the added voices. the fabulous tony hale. >> jimmy: tony hale is great in this movie. >> christina hendricks. the fabulous keanu reeves. >> jimmy: yes. >> hello. there is some new talent in there. >> jimmy: carl weathers. >> carl weathers is a voice of

combat carl. how about that? carl weathers, apollo creed, ladies and gentlemen. >> jimmy: of course. >> i didn't realize -- i didn't know he was in it. because we never see each other. >> jimmy: right. >> we maybe will run into each other when somebody's session finishes and the other person is waiting to go on. but at the premiere i saw carl weathers, and i had to go and shake the man's hand, because not only was he apollo creed, he was action jackson. >> jimmy: totally was. >> combat carl got his name when we were in one of the very first recording sessions of the first "toy story". because they would explain to me a bunch of the toys, this, that. and they said there will be a g.i. joe figure, but we can't call him g.i. joe. and i said how about combat carl? >> jimmy: you said it. >> i said it. >> jimmy: and then they found a guy named carl to be carl. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you could have thrown a buddy -- >> i said how about combat carl weathers? and they didn't go for the weathers. >> jimmy: they didn't go for the weathers. >> but it was something else to me. it's a great, amazing cast. >> jimmy: i don't want to ruin

anything by talking about it. i think maybe you've revealed some things you shouldn't have revealed. >> it's funny you mentioned that because i think i did. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> because everybody -- i have these talking points that disney gives you at the beginning of the -- >> jimmy: oh, really? >> the beginning of the press junket thing. and these things are like gutenberg bible stuff. look how many times i've studied them. they've come across -- i spilled some tomato juice on it at one point at breakfast the other day. >> jimmy: these are things you're not supposed to say or things you're supposed to say. >> both. for example, here's one thing that we're not supposed to say. spoilers/what to avoid. don't discuss woody, hmm hmm hmm hmm. please don't share that hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. and we shouldn't -- there's just all sorts of rules. they also give you sample questions.

which you have yet to ask, my friend. >> jimmy: oh, i'm sorry. >> which you have yet to ask, my friend. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. they didn't give them to me. >> when doing kimmel show please don't mention academy awards. >> jimmy: i feel like we should mention the academy awards -- >> no, not mine. yours -- >> jimmy: oh, me on the academy awards? why, did something happen? >> you got bounced, my friend. [ cheers and applause ] and you work for the network. but they do give you this. it's actually a much more thicker packet than what i carried around. >> jimmy: i wanted to ask because you're from oakland if you're following the series and if you're into it. >> the golden state warriors, i was there -- i was there during the ric barry years. i saw kareem abdul-jabbar play. i actually saw the buffalo braves and the baltimore bullets play. isn't that a great name for a basketball team? the bullets. >> jimmy: then there was the washington bullets which is even worse. >> i guess the term baltimore

handguns, that wasn't really -- that wouldn't really sell you. but no, they're leaving what i grew up knowing as the oakland alameda coliseum complex arena. that's where the warriors played and the oakland seals played, the hockey team that i went and saw. >> jimmy: that was an nhl team, the oakland seals. >> they're closing it out. i don't know what they're going to do with it. >> jimmy: do you feel sad at all about this? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't care. >> well, it's a storied history without a doubt. but it was from the era where they built these sports complexes, arenas. and they made the mistake of making them freeway close. two freeways sort of go right by there. which means anytime there's an event that freeway is gridlocked and you're late for the game and you leaving early because you want to -- >> jimmy: so your fondest memory of this area is as an annoyance to your community. >> well, that along with i sold -- i was a vendor at oakland a's games. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. i was 14 years old.

and i went down to sell peanuts and soda and thinking that it would be kind of like from a tv show where everybody helps out the young kid trying to make a thing. first of all, i got robbed twice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> note to self. hide those was of cash. don't be walking with a wad of cash sticking out of your pocket. >> jimmy: robbed twice. >> and then i came across professional vendors who did not like the fact that kids were there. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, sure. >> so i'm 14 years old and a guy probably in his late 50s is yelling "hey, kid, that was my sale. i was coming down the aisle! you took my sale, kid!" and i'm -- what am i supposed to do? "here's what's going to happen. i'm going to give you a bag of peanuts and you're going to give me 50 cents!" and that's i did. >> jimmy: and you had to pay the guy. he was holding you up. >> he wasn't holding me up. it was like a professional thing. he was coming down the aisle. so any sale on either side of that aisle was his and i just happened to be walking down the

front. i sold a kid some peanuts and the kid was -- i thought the -- >> jimmy: you did the right thing. there's nothing wrong with what you did. that man -- >> so tear that frigging place down. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tom hanks is here. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the greater than ever corolla. let's go places. at red lobster. featuring three new dishes that are planked to perfection. feast on new cedar-plank lobster & shrimp. or new colossal shrimp & salmon

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trash? no, toys. they're all toys. >> t-to-trash. >> no, no, no. that's the trash. these are your friends. >> hello! >> trash. >> it's okay. >> woody, i have a question, well, actually not just one. i have all of them. i have all the questions. >> why does he want to go to the trash? >> because he was made from trash. i know this is a little strange

but you've got to trust me on this. >> trash? >> forky is the most important toy to bonnie right now. >> jimmy: that is tom hanks in "toy story 4" opening one week from friday. >> tony hale plays forky. >> jimmy: tony hale plays forky. >> it's so the movie is called "toy story forky." >> jimmy: i bought a forky tour on my way out of the theater. forky is -- kids are going to be cursing is what's going to happen. because a 3-year-old can't say forky without it sounding like the f word. >> i believe that's what disney corporate planned. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah. so tom, you have a reputation for being wonderful and perfect in every way. >> i think in the bachelor vernacular, i think i'm pretty awesome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you ever lose your temper? do you ever do things? have you ever stolen anything? >> other than material? >> jimmy: yes. >> not in my adult life. >> jimmy: okay. i have a dare for you.

>> all right. >> jimmy: are you willing to take this dare -- well, i'll tell you what it is. >> i fear nothing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i feel like you could get away with almost anything. >> i have. >> jimmy: there's a souvenir shop next door to our theater. and they do not know that i had this idea. it's the hollywoodland experience. my dare to you is they have these cutouts of celebrities, cardboard cutouts. one of them is of you. to walk into that store, take it, steal, it and bring it back over here. >> watch this. >> jimmy: all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: this way, yeah. >> jimmy: there he goes. tom hanks about to commit his first, i don't know if this would be a misdemeanor, i don't know what the value of the item is. >> it's not going to be a broken law at all, my friend. >> jimmy: can you hear me, tom? >> i can hear you. can you hear me? >> jimmy: i hear you. we really cleaned the place up for this.

>> the only thing i'm going to get arrested for is being too charming. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> hey, everybody, how you doing? >> jimmy: okay. >> hey, darling. how are you? good o'see you. oh, man. hey, can you wrap up one of those sausages? i'll pick it up on my way out. seriously, you can do that. hey, kid. zara. hey. oh, hey. you know father's day's coming up. i wouldn't mind a nice chemise. all right. this is the joint. hey, everybody. >> jimmy: this is the place. >> how are you doing? >> jimmy: they're toward the back on the right side of the shop. >> okay. i'm checkin' it out. hi, folks, are you from out of town? >> oh, my -- >> jimmy: hey, you know what? they validate parking back there. just go find the machine. oh, here they go, i see them now. hello. where are you from? >> new jersey. >> and where are you from? >> australia. >> how long have you been dating? >> that's my wife. >> oh, stop lying, get out of

here. come on. now, you two have got o'get together. i am a judge of kismet. and i think you've got it. what is your name, sweetie? you know what, hey, i'm going to give you $20. no, no, no. go ahead. go across to the hard rock cafe. get yourself a cheeseburger and try to meet somebody. >> jimmy: tom, this is the opposite. this is literally the opposite of shoplifting right now. >> okay. who do we got? we've got -- oh, by the way, you didn't tell me they had a standee of my abs. >> jimmy: i didn't know. >> i have been working that. >> jimmy: surprise to me too. oh. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> give me a second. >> jimmy: oh, nice. >> i am sick of this doof. [ applause ] "i'm a dope." >> jimmy: i agree with that so much. i feel like it's actually worth

more now. >> and where am i? >> jimmy: is yours there? >> oh, here i am. hey, how are you doing? hey. i'm tom hanks and i'm stealing this standee. [ cheers and applause ] you know what? you can never have too many of these. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just what you need, yeah. >> i got to get my -- >> jimmy: guillermo will provide security there. >> i'm here for you. >> hold that for me for a second. >> where are you guys from? >> st. louis. >> st. louis? congratulations on the blues winning the stanley cup. wasn't that exciting? how long have you been here on hollywood boulevard? >> two hours. >> you want to meet a guy from australia who's looking for a new wife? [ laughter ] go back inside. hey, how you doin'? hold on, wait a minute. can i have one of those now? i'll just take a sausage with a little bit of mustard. >> jimmy: no, no. don't pay for it, steal it!

>> you want me to steal it? >> jimmy: yes. steal it. >> i can't. guillermo, when i'm gone, slide that into the lady's palm. i'll take some mustard. uh-oh. i dropped the trophy. >> jimmy: forget the -- it's not a real one. >> no, give me that back. all right. so long, folks. oh, wait a minute. i dropped it. sorry. it landed on morery amsterdam's star of fame. look at this! look at this! look! oh, that's adorable. there you go. yeah. you're a winner in my book. [ applause ] way to go back in. we go back in this way. all right, give me that. you hold onto that. >> i'll hold it. >> you got it. >> jimmy: technically, this makes guillermo an accomplice to your crime. >> back in the air conditioning. >> jimmy: and the crazy thing is we got the whole thing on tape. >> did -- send somebody over to the hard rock cafe to get that poor lady from australia. >> guillermo: i thought you were rich, mr. tom. >> i am.

>> guillermo: so why are you stealing? >> i'm comfortable. i'm making a nice living. >> jimmy: look at this! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, there we go. look at that, tom hanks, everybody. tom hanks, america's most wanted criminal. "toy story 4" opens a week from friday. >> hold on. this has got to go back here. i'm watching you, jimmy! >> jimmy: we'll be back with pamela adlon. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you

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>> jimmy: welcome back. pamela adlonn is on the way but first the good people at wonderful pistachios have removed the shells to give you an easier pistachio eating experience. here's guillermo to tell you all about it.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i have a new guardian angel. all right, our next guest is co-creator, executive producer, director and star of the critically-acclaimed and excellent show "better things" on fx. please say hello to pamela adlon. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pamela, we have tom watching over us for this segment here. >> i want to take a selfie with fake tom hanks. >> jimmy: did you meet real tom hanks?

>> i did. and i was freaking out backstage. i was like, you guys, don't. all my people were like we've got to get him in here organically. and i was like forget, it aborlt, abort. but i got to meet him. >> jimmy: you got to meet him. i hope that went well. how are you doing? boy, your show is so great. i remember i watched the whole first season. i was like, wow, this show's great. and the second season where they shows usually kind of take a dip, not at all. and the third season is the best of all of them. it is unbelievable. chrpds chrpz [ cheers and applause ] and you did everything, you directed the shows. you write them. you're the star of the shows. i know the character is based on you, basically being an actor, having three daughters, but, is everything that happens really from your life on the show? >> no. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> this is a question i get

asked a lot. it's not a reality show. i'm not doing a reality show, but i'm doing things in my life and from my life, and so, you know, there's a scene in the show this season where my youngest daughter, duke, is -- has a fight with hannah, my middle daughter. >> jimmy: yes. >> and i'm like over it enough. i said you have one minute. you can say anything you want to each other, anything. and they're like, even bad words, mom? really, really bad? and i'm like, yeah, go for it, no limit. anything. >> jimmy: i love that scene, yeah. >> and so the little one had all the dirty, like i wish i would tell you guys right now. you'd love it! but -- >> jimmy: very dirty words coming out of a 10-year-old's mouth. >> and she was so into it, she was primed. >> jimmy: she loved it. >> yeah, she was like a pagan [ bleep ]. i can't wait to do this scene. and her parents are like, she can't wait, she can't wait. she was actually, they were living out this thing that my mom did with me and my brother when we were kids. >> jimmy: oh. >> and i was about to stab my brother in the chest with a fork. >> jimmy: okay.

>> i didn't want to. i literally was there, and my mother said "oh, my children" and she like fainted. we talked about the mutual mom. >> jimmy: yeah, mom pretending to be dead, yeah. >> pretending to be dead or faint. and then she put us at the end of the hallway and made us do that. and we didn't last 30 seconds. >> jimmy: because you were laughing. >> we were screaming. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a great scene. and by the way, i'm going to do that with my kids. >> no, it's good. you guys feel free to use all of these things. >> jimmy: this is a road map. and you won a peabody award. you've been nominated for emmys. you've made millions and billions of dollars. [ cheers and applause ] >> millions. >> jimmy: hundreds of millions of dollars. >> hundreds of tens of dollars. >> jimmy: has this changed your life? >> you know, you think it would, but, you know, i was at a restaurant the other day with my friend, and the waiter was kind

of like flirting with me the whole time and winking, and at the end we were getting the check and he said you must get this all the time, but you remind me of janeane garofalo. and i was like, still? it's her? can i just be me -- i love janeane, but you know, i just did an event three nights ago and i went to do the panel and my youngest daughter rocky was with me and she took a picture of the screen and it said "hong panora aldon." >> jimmy: what? >> and then my makeup woman, she tweeted about me -- or she instagramed about me or whatever the hell -- >> jimmy: one of them. yeah. >> and she wrote "i love this woman, pamela aldon, and i love her show better days." and i was like, bl[ bleep ] it. >> jimmy: maybe you should change your name if it helps people.

you have some prominent guest stars on the show this season. sharon stone was on the show. >> do you know her? >> jimmy: i've met her here at this show. is she a friend of yours? >> you know, i met her -- we were at -- i was at the golden globes because i weirdly was nominated for something. >> jimmy: for a golden globe, yeah. >> one year. and she just came at me, this beautiful unicorn just focused on me. and she just threw so much love and support in my direction, and then she handed me her digits. >> jimmy: yeah. so the indignities are weighed outside -- >> exactly. and we became friendly, and then we came up with this character, and she was such a fan of the show. and it was amazing to watch sharon stone like walk into my set and look around and be like this is so cool. look at all this art. and she fit in. and there's kevin pollack, and i created a reunion between sharon stone and kevin pollack.

not since "casino." and we're all so happy, and it was an amazing, amazing day. >> jimmy: you also had a monkey on the show. >> we did. >> jimmy: which is a necessity for any great show. you have to have a monkey on at some point during the run. >> i think so. >> jimmy: i agree. >> i wanted to get crystal, the monkey from "the hangover." that's who i wanted. and she was booked. so i got [ bleep ] dexter with behavioral problems. and he comes in with a diaper and, like, and before we even get him, like the people are like, we have a monkey safety meeting. and we're like, oh, snap, okay, monkey safety meeting. so we all get together, the whole crew and everything. and they are so dead serious. >> jimmy: the monkey people? >> the monkey people. they bring the whole room down. 200 crew members and sharon stone and kevin pollock and diedrick bader. we're all there and we're like oh, [ bleep ]. and they're like, do not look at the monkey. do not show your teeth to the

monkey. do not -- if the monkey touches you, do not move. don't turn your head to the right. don't look at somebody else in the scene. don't touch somebody else. if the monkey grabs your hair, pull away, a little slight, it was like a nightmare. so, if you watched it, please go watch this one scene, if you haven't seen my show, because literally, like, greg chromer comes in. he's got the monkey, and he's like, hello, this is dexter and his handler, and his real handler is in my show. linda! who is very sweet, but not an actor, so i put them all in the scene, and we're all like, and they walk in, and i'm like, [ bleep ]. and like everybody in the scene is like, i love monkeys. >> jimmy: it jumps on your mother, right? >> it was a nightmare.

it's supposed to jump on celia emery, who plays my mom, and she's like "get it off, get it off." and we're all like oh, my god, this is terrible. 1y6r79 th >> jimmy: that was in the show, right? >> it's a totally different vibe. the safety briefing killed the whole vibe. then it was like, okay, got to make this work in post, so, it, yeah. >> jimmy: whatever you're doing, it seems to be working and thank god no one lost an eyeball. really, that's the most important thing. >> and i didn't get sharon stone's face ripped off. >> jimmy: sharon stone still has her head. pamela adlon. her show is called "better things." we'll be right back. ♪ chrpz chrmz [ cheers and applause ]

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>> jimmy: we're back, pamela adlon is here. pamela's show is called "better things." go on fx and watch the whole thing. thanks to tom hanks. we ran out of time for koffee. we will reschedule her. that is her album right there. it's called "rapt yoour." i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him too. "nightline" is next. good night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, fateful flight. the parachuting adventure ending in a fiery crash moments after takeoff. now new video uncovered showing the plane in peril in the past, sending skydivers scrambling to escape mid-air. new safety questions tonight. plus, kate plus date. >> did he fly to the top of the list. >> eight kids and a high-profile divorce later, kate gosselin is ready to find love again. >> it's a legitimate question. is it really about the show or is it about trying to find love? >> tonight, a reality checkmate. and wallenda watch. the exclusive behind-the-scenes footage that wasn't ready for primetime. but first, the "nightline" 5.