this is "nightline." tonight, women at risk. >> i remember high firmy first t he gave me. >> the violence against women at the hands and fists of their partners, and one of the most dangerous countries of the world for women. the battle to change an entire culture. plus, the truth about dr. ruth. the sex therapist who's never been afraid to tackle the taboo. >> nobody talks about orgasm. >> the new documentary on the doctor showing us the way to successful sex for years. and beyonce's spirit. the new lion king video, haunting voices and vivid

the new lion king video, haunting voices and vivid colors, including blue ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

good evening, thank joining us. domestic violence does not discriminate. and in south africa, the number of battered women is among the

highest in the world. >> i remember my first slap he gave me. and he was shocked and i was shocked. on this eye here, it was this eye. >> reporter: for delphine, the e scar, physical scars mentally? >> that's the worst. >> reporter: yet delphine is one of the fortunate women of south africa. she's alive, in a safe place. a shelter for battered women. this country followed its breath taking beauty is one of the ugliest places on earth when it comes to femicide, against women five times the average, one of the highest on earth. domestic violence knows no borders. it's a problem in the u.s.

by some estimates in america, approximately one woman is killed every eight hours by a current or former partner. in south africa, it's every four hours. >> her burnt body was thrown into a ditch. >> reporter: in 2017, she became the face of domestic violence. the country after being murdered by her ex-boyfriend. her case one of the few covered widely in the media. brendy backcar runs the center that allows survivors to live and work with their children. >> it knows no economic sector, it knows no educational sector. it is part and parcel of every part of our society across the board. >> reporter: violence itself has become ingrained in the fabric of south african society. part of the legacy of areid, brutality as a means to maintain control.

>> many men believe that they're entitled to use violence against their partners and their children in order to compel compliance with whatever the man wants. >> reporter: here at the center, the effects of that are clear. delphine, who asked that we only use her first name lives here with her two daughters and has been no stranger to struggle. >> in 1989 in rwanda, i buried my mom and my dad and sister in congo. >> reporter: she ask only to speak with another woman about abuse. so they sat down with my producer, candace smith. >> i prefer being slapped around. the one thing that he said when i was six months pregnant was that i'm the reason as to why my parents are dead now. i'm bad luck. >> reporter: like he was trying to break you? >> yeah. doing a very good job of that. >> reporter: he says there was a night that was her turning point. her daughter had been born, and she was pregnant with her second

child. >> he's gone the whole day, and he comes back reeking of alcohol, reeking of cigarettes. and said what are we going to eat? and that's where the whole figh. debra is just going downstairs. she refused to leave me. and he came and stood in front of him. >> reporter: so your 5-year-old daughter is staring down her father as he's beating you. >> yes. >> reporter: what's going through your head at that moment? >> that's thing that gave me strength to actually just say she doesn't deserve this, she deserves better. that's what it, set me off. >> reporter: she moved here for over a year. when her time at the center ended she moved out. now she struggling to find work and to support herself and her daughters. but for all she's lost, delphine says she's found something powerful amidst her trauma. >> oh, i'm stronger than before. i'm so stronger than before.

>> reporter: no one deserves to be abused. >> reporter: it's a sentiment echoed li echoed by men like patrick. >> it's five times more than the rest of the world. how do you explain that? >> there's many reasons around that. i don't want to justify it. it makes me feel bad as a man. poverty. some men feel like they are less of men, their esteem as men is low, and they can only shake and beat up women. >> reporter: he's a manager at gender justice. >> all power to the people. >> reporter: and across the country in a small town in to transform how men think about domestic violence. >> like in the apartheid. if we're saying racism is wrong,

sexism is wrong as well. >> reporter: south africa is also a patriarchal society, changing behavior means first changing attitudes. >> this is going to be a learning exercise. but also a sharing its bold and political. if you agree with the statement you go and stand next to women are weaker than men. the agree. okay. women are weaker than [ inaudible ] >> reporter: one a change of he. >> i'm changing my mind. >> i'm losing this, because when i'm standing here, i'm just thinking now the woman are more stronger than men.

i'm leaving. i'm on the wrong side. [ applause ] i'm on the wrong side. >> i don't expect men to agree with each other at the go. it's a process. change is not an event. it's a process. >> reporter: we caught up with him outside the event. we learned that he volunteers. why do you want to change? why is that important to you? >> to change is to live in a better country, or in a better world. >> reporter: if i may ask, did something happen that made you want to change? >> yes. >> reporter: we also learn he once beat his wife. now clearly one of his life's greatest regrets. >> even now, i'm trying to fix up that scar. so when my wife look at me, she's got to see a better man. for the children, i'm trying to be a better man. >> reporter: back in his home, he lives with his wife and three children. she says the incident started when she noticed he was texting

another woman. angry, she smashed his cell phone. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> when i'm sitting alone, i just sometimes my tears are falling because i end up maybe killing her, if you're angry, you can do anything. so that's why i say i want to change. >> reporter: in his story is like so many here. >> if you can take women as full human beings, we don't look at them as being lesser than us. thes will make a difference in the world. thank you very much. ♪ >> reporter: so they close their meeting by singing. the soothing sounds of song have a rich history in south africa.

it was the anthem of the apartheid sugng ds not come quickly or peacefully. but it >> if are you or know someone who might be struggling, the national domestic violence hotline is always open at 1-800-799-7233. for free, confidential assistance. up next, the truth about dr. ruth. the legendary therapist and a lifetime answering everyone's questions about sex, morning, noon, and knight. n. cleaning tough bathroom and kitchen messes with sprays and wipes can be a struggle. night. try mr. clean magic eraser. just wet, squeeze and erase tough messes like bathtub soap scum and caked-on grease from oven doors. now mr. clean magic eraser comes in disposable sheets. they're perfect for icky messes on stovetops, in microwaves, and all over the house.

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she's not even five feet tall, but dr. ruth is a giant. she's been giving advice on sex for decades on tv and radio. and now a new documentary is giving an intimate portrait into the legendary sex therapist. we spent some time on dr. ruth's couch. for the record, it was only to interview her. >> reporter: you wanted to show me this, sex for dummies. dr. ruth can still talk about sex, morning noon and night. >> i can look at people and tell if they've had good sex or not. >> reporter: with her distingtive accent. >> let's agree to disagree and let's have good, terrific sex. >> reporter: and dim menutive frame, she is a pioneer. >> and then let him insert his penis into the vagina from behind. >> reporter: the 91-year-old has been america's most famous and

trusted sex therapist for generations. >> i would like us all together to bury right here is with the withdrawal method is a method of contraception. >> reporter: what makes you so comfortable talking about sex? >> first of all, i'm very jewish. and in the jewish tradition, says sex is never sin, it's the tradition of a husband once a week. tell all your viewers that make-believe tonight is friday night. >> reporter: the life story is a documentary on hulu. "ask dr. ruth". >> before i started to do television, the most important thing for me was education. >> reporter: an in-depth look at the woman who's talked openly about sex for decades. >> in the early not talk about sexuality.

>> reporter: it all began with her radio show, "sexually speaking"? 1982. >> i do hope that you t ter bait, that you bring yourself to sexual satisfaction. >> reporter: did you realize how groundbreaking what you were doing was? >> i did realize nobody talked about orgasm or ejaculation. i did not realize how successful the radio program was. it's good i didn't realize. maybe i would have opinion more up tight if i had known that everybody listened to me, sunday nights from 10:00 to 12:00. >> >> i say don't just engage. >> reporter: her willingness to talk publicly about what many had limited to private pillow talk launched her into the mainstream. >> i've never heard women tell the truth about sex before in public in my life.

>> reporter: hosting a string of popular tv shows like "the dr. ruth show." >> you have changed sex. it's not the same thing. >> don't tell me it's less good. >> no, it's like a sport. people suit up for the game. >> reporter: the name dr. ruth became synonymous with sex. >> we have to continue to talk about issues of sexuality and issues of sexual transmitted diseases. >> reporter: she was one of the first people to use her platform to address the aids epidemic. >> it was a very unpopular topic, because gay people at the time, not only were they minority, but they were despised. >> reporter: she refused to stigmatize people with aids and instead tried to educate her viewers about hiv and homosexuality. >> some people are attracted to members of their own sex, and i believe strongly that we as a society have to give these

people all the respect. >> it seems the high proportion of people who are dying and succumbing to the aids virus are still in the homosexual community, intravenus drug users. >> i don't waste a moment of my time to blame one or another group. i say let's educate, and let's find a cure. >> reporter: her empathy for those suffering during the aids crisis was rooted in her own past. >> i took that very seriously, because of my background as a german, jewish refugee. i certainly had sensitivity for the people who really were regarded as sub human. >> reporter: born in germany in 1928, her parent entered switzerland when she was 10 years old after they realized how dangerous germany had become for jews. >> i do have the letters of my parents. until 1942, when they stopped. then i knew something terrible

must have happened. >> reporter: years later, she returned to israel to learn her parents' fate. >> died in auschwitz, 1942. oh, boy. my mother's maiden name was hannover. irma. >> irma was murdered in the holocaust, but it doesn't have a specific location. >> oh, boy. sad. >> reporter: with all the loss that you've experienced in your life, what makes you so resilient? >> my whole family were killed by the nazis. so i had an obligation to make e dent, because 1.5 million jewish children were killed, and i was safe because i was in switzerland. despite the fact that i had tragic happenings of be being an

orphan at the age of 10 1/2, never seeing my family again, despite that fact, i made a dent in society. at 90, still talking about sex. >> reporter: despite all her fame, she's remained in the same place, right here in this upper manhattan apartment for 50 years, raising her two children here. >> you can see the george washington bridge. >> reporter: so look at all these awards you have here. hall of fame. with all she has accomplished, she says it's life itself that's been the greatest gift. the thing you're most proud of? >> yes. four grandchildren. hitler's dead and my grand children are alive, and i'm very successful. >> reporter: for "nightline," i'm linsey davis in new york. >> ask dr. ruth is streaming on hulu now. next, queen bea's new beat making our spirit soar. ♪ ♪

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♪ beyonce is hitting a high note in her newest single "spirit", featured in the upcoming disney reboot of "the lion king." it's shot across a scenic spot in the grand canyon, stunning choreography, featuring the queen and her mini me, blue ivy, a celebration of the wonders and beauty in africa. ♪ spirit ♪ can you hear it w it feels like god visits everywhere else but lives in africa. that's "nightline." you can always catch our full episodes on hulu. thanks for the company, america.

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