tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 5, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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thanks for being here. >> are a good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, elisabeth moss, comedian sebastian maniscalco, and music from ava max. and now, hold on tight, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to the show. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. thank you for joining us. after another weekend of sadness and outrage in the united states we had two more mass shootings. one on saturday in el paso. the other in dayton, sunday morning. horrible, senseless tragedies. again with many lives lost. and again our leaders in one
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party in particular are offering not much more than their thoughts and their prayers. and you know, i was thinking and praying about it, and both parties say -- they say one thing, that we're too divided. this is something we hear a lot, that we need to find something we can agree on. well, here's something we can agree on. too many people are being shot with high-powered weapons. i think we'd agree on that. [ applause ] and agree on this too. they did a poll last year. 97% of gun owners, these are gun owners, support universal background checks. 97%. that's unheard of. you can ask people is ice cream delicious and not get 97%. but the senate majority leader mitch mcconnell, this evil soulless old creep won't even allow the senate to vote on a bipartisan bill to require background checks for gun purchases at gun shows. there are two bills, each written by democrats and republicans together because
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background checks, something we agree on. these bills -- the bills passed in the house in february, and to become law we'd have to pass them in the senate too. but mitch mcconnell made sure the senate couldn't even vote on them. he didn't bring them to the floor. they left for recess. tell mitch mcconnell we have some good news. call him and tell him the good news is we agree on something for a change. we agree that he needs to drag his bony gray ass back into work to vote on these bills. let's start with that thing that we all agree on. [ cheers and applause ] and go from there. okay? it's unbelievable. yesterday 49 republican members of congress refused to go on cnn to talk about the shootings. the cops in dayton ran into the line of fire to stop the guy shooting. the politicians were too cowardly to go on cable television to talk about it. and meanwhile, this is what our president was busy with this weekend. this is not a joke. asap rocky released from prison and on his way home to the united states from sweden. it was a rocky week.
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get home asap, asap. good one, mr. president. you got that dollar sign in just the right spot. but back to the shootings in el paso and dayton. >> we're talking to a lot of people and a lot of things are in the works and a lot of good things and we have done much more than most administrations and it's really not talked about very much but we've done actually a lot. but perhaps more has to be done. >> jimmy: yeah. do more. that would be good. because whatever you've been doing doesn't seem to be going too great. he refuses to take any responsibility for any of this. but he did take the opportunity to point that little finger of blame at you'll never guess who. the media has a big responsibility to life and safety in our country. fake news has contributed greatly to the anger and rage that has built up over many years. news coverage has got to start being fair, balanced and unbiased or these terrible problems will only get worse.
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he blamed the fake news. and later he and some other republicans blamed video games. and of course there's zero studies that link video games to gun violence. and they play video games all over the world. this is the only place where this happens regularly. video games have not been linked to gun violence. but you know what is linked to gun violence? guns are linked to gun violence. [ applause ] the problem isn't fake muse. it's real guns. anyway, the president today tried his very best to be presidential. they even fired up the old teleprompter so trump could finally come out against white supremacy and offer words of condolence to the people of dayton, ohio, which he calls toledo. >> may god bless the memory of those who perished in toledo. >> jimmy: yeah. nobody perished in toledo. it was dayton. they've different cities. and by the way, the word toledo wasn't even in the teleprompter. somebody got this shot. it clearly says texas and ohio.
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nice work, don burgundy. you're doing great. [ applause ] and this i think maybe more than anything gives you some insight into how much this man cares. 14 minutes after he tweeted about the shooting in el paso on saturday he followed it up with a shout out to a ufc fighter. "fight hard tonight, colby. you are a real champ. #maga." like many americans who've been repeatedly punched in the head, colby covington is a big donald trump supporter. and there's nothing donald trump loves more than people who love donald trump. the other reason trump was so interested in this fight is his sons, eric and djtj, were making an appearance there. >> a lot of celebrities and royalty in the house tonight. the trump brothers, donald jr. and eric here this afternoon in support of colby covington. >> jimmy: yeah, look at that. it's the douches of hazzard. [ laughter ] those guys are so cool. just a couple of normal dudes who definitely know what to do with their hands and their
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faces. i mentioned this on the show last week. i learned something incredible last week. there is a town in canada, in newfoundland to be precise, with a very unusual name. >> i'm here in dildo, newfoundland talking to gil dorians about why jimmy kimmel should come to down. >> jimmy: that's right. there's a town named dildo. it was discovered hundreds of years ago by dildora the explorer. [ laughter ] [ applause ] it is a real town. seems to be a beautiful town. they've got people in it and even local news. >> the community, they're having a lot of fun with this. i think it's super fantastic. i think it would be even better if jimmy kim, you know, followed through to what he said last night. >> a little fact from ben clear's report, they're called dildorians. >> yes. the dildorians love their town. and we want jimmy kimmel to come. come on out. we'll entertain you for sure.
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>> jimmy: i don't think you understand. i'm not just coming there to visit. i'm moving there. [ laughter ] i'm packing the kids and we're going to raise them in dildo. to be dildorians. by the way, we looked into it. the news had it wrong. they're not called dildorians. that's some alien race with strangely shaped foreheads. i saw it on star trek. the people of the town called themselves dichlt ldodians. which makes more sense, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: right, jimmy. >> jimmy: but they're kited. and i'm excited too. they asked a local official what impact our show might possibly have on tourism in dilledo. >> you've seen the jimmy kimmel video. what do you think this could mean for the town of dildo and for our region? >> well, you know, i hope he decides to come and i'm really delighted he has discovered dildo. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, not even close
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to as delighted as i am. i want to go there but it's far away. we wanted to fedex something to dildo. it's not a joke. they told us it would take 11 days to get there. but we have to figure something out. maybe the best thing to come of this is now when you google the word dildo, almost instantly my name comes up. so that's one for the hope chest. [ applause ] anyway, we're hoping to connect live with the town and the dildodians later this week on the program. in other international news this is awesome. i don't know if you saw this. there's a french guy named frankie zapata. and not only does he have a kick-ass name, he just crossed the english channel on a hoverboard. there he is on what he calls a fly board. he built this himself. it gets up to 110 miles an hour. i think this is how the green goblin got started, by the way. he crossed the channel in 22 minutes. oh, my -- >> shark week. it's not over until we say it is. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's what
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happens when you drink at every meal. this is another thing you have to see to believe. this is one of the most creative and worst attempts to break out of prison ever. so in rio there's a gang leader named clauvino da silva. he came up with a diabolical plan. his teenage daughter would come to visit him. he would dress himself as her. and then when the visit was over he would leave, pretending to be the girl. 19 years old. so there he is. that's him in disguise. he looks like the meanest girl in the cafeteria. but the officials say his nervousness gave him away. they had him take off his -- i guess it wasn't that nightmarishly scary rubber mass thak gave him away. it was the fact he was nervous. he wore a bra. now he took off the mask and revealed him. there he is. el not too sharpo. it would be a great wayans brothers movie. [ applause ] i just want to recap because his plan, i was thinking about it, was to dress in his daughter's clothes and mask and wig that
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looks like her. then he would leave and i guess she would remain in prison. if that's not father of the year material, i really don't know what is. he should have just used the face app. are people still using the face app with the app that makes you -- no? yes? some? okay. well, it's an app. you take a photo on your phone, it shows what you're going to look like in 50 years. you use it once and that's enough. but a lot of people were concerned about the security of this app because the user agreement and the fine print, they say you give away the rights to your photo to the company that designed the app and that company's in russia. so people got nervous. but because our attention span, it's about 12 minutes long now, we went on the street pretending to be with face app and we asked people to sign all kind of nonsense in this old face app-themed edition of "fool release." ♪ >> can we take a picture of you with the new face app and see
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how it works? >> of course. >> here we go. i just need your information here. since it's a product of russian software there's some specific releases we have to do. participant con sents that a shadowy balkan software developer may be granted liacce to your likeness in perpetuity to be use the at a future date to undermine the republic. >> yes. >> participant consents the use of the app will result in an independent council investigating for high crimes and misdemeanors against the united states which can lead to capital punishment, hung from the neck until you're dead, blah, blah, standard stuff. that's okay? >> yes. >> in the event of your death you consent your body may be given to the university of minsk for medical experimentation or possibly shot out of a cannon. >> that's fine, yeah. >> do you know your passport number by heart? >> no. >> your driver's license number? >> no. >> but we have them. >> can we get -- somebody show my broadcast. yeah, can you just show them to us on broadcast? trying to get as much information as possible.
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just right up there. great. that's all your information. okay. great. that's your information. that's fine. we can freeze it and zoom in on the number later. >> any kind of i.d.? >> only cards, credit cards. >> what is it? >> credit cards. >> can we take a look at that? >> yeah, no worries. >> just hold it up to the camera. okay. that's great. and the three-digit card on the back if we can get that. just the back. for the picture. for the camera. okay. great. thank you. we'd like to get a 3-d impression of you if that's okay. >> okay. >> i need to put some 3-d sensors on. if you can just move your hair back. >> i'm pretty sweaty. >> you'll be okay. >> hold on. okay. we need a quick dental
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impression. can you do me a favorite? can you bite my arm but not hard enough to break skin? just to leave an impression. five, four, three, two -- okay, we got it. we got it. >> take a picture of that. >> all right. he bit me. if you can just look in there and say face app rules. >> face app rules. >> okay. that should be reflected on your bank statement. give it like 72 hours. >> okay. ♪ >> i love mother russia. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. well, we got a lot of information. we've got a good show. we have music from ava max. sebastian maniscalco is here. and we'll be right back with elisabeth moss.
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20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices for every room and every budget. at ross. yes for less. ♪ >> jimmy: hello and welcome back to the show. tonight a very funny man, he is host of this year's mtv video music awards. sebastian maniscalco is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] then, from the mercedes-benz stage, her song is called "so am i." ava max is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow, ben stiller and robin thede will join us, we'll have music from max with quinn 92, and later this week josh gad, michael "the miz" mizanin, leslie jones, music from chris janson, monsta featuring french montana, and on thursday we will be visited by a surprise mystery guest. it might even be a ghost. who knows? you'll find out on thursday.
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our first guest tonight is an emmy and golden globe-winning actress you know from "mad men" and "the handmaid's tale." starting friday, she swaps bonnets for bell-bottoms in the 1970's gangster movie "the kitchen." please welcome elisabeth moss. [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. >> thank you. it's great to see you. >> jimmy: you look great. i like this outfit you have on. >> it's like my femme bot dress. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. it is a little bit robot. [ laughter ] you were just in australia, correct? >> yes. i'm shooting "the invisible man" there. >> jimmy: it's a movie. that's cool. is it the sci-fi invisible man? >> the horror invisible man. it's a very scary movie. i don't play the invisible man. >> jimmy: you do not. >> spoiler. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who does play the invisible man?
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>> oliver jackson cohen. >> jimmy: does he have to be here the whole time even though he's invisible? [ laughter ] >> no, he has like the easiest job in the world. >> jimmy: that's what i would want to be, the invisible man. but you celebrated a birthday there in australia. >> yes, i did. i just turned 37 i think last week. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's your general -- happy birthday. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what is your general feeling on birthdays and the celebration factor? >> i'm not a big birthday person. since i was like 10 years old i'm kind of good. i just want to be low-key about it. i don't know if this ever happened to you but if you don't say anything, if nobody knows it's your birthday, it's kind of sad. >> jimmy: yeah. sure. has that happened to you? >> probably. so i want like some celebration but i don't want it to be too much. i like to set my expectations really low. >> jimmy: do people around you kind of have to figure out, they have to gauge what you want? >> yeah. but if you set your expectations low then every time somebody wishes you a happy birthday you're excited. >> jimmy: did anybody wish you a
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happy birthday? >> yes. i was working that day-i was shooting so i had like 100 people who had to wish me a happy birthday. >> jimmy: you brought a photograph, and i assume what we're seeing here is a birthday present. is it? >> yes. that is wally the wombat. i know. isn't he cute? >> jimmy: that's a stuffed animal, right? >> yes. wombat is an australian animal. and my dresser and assistant gave that to me and i decided to carry it around as my emotional support wombat. >> jimmy: did you get it registered? >> not yet. >> jimmy: this is like their version of a vermont teddy pear, right? the wombat. [ laughter ] >> but i realized i had just started work on this movie it was like the second week and here i was carrying around this wombat stuffed animal but i thought it was funny but nobody really knows me so i don't think they knew i thought it was funny. so i think the crew was just looking at me like i was this crazy actress carrying around a stuffed animal. >> jimmy: and look at your co-star oliver sitting in the chair. i mean, he is -- [ laughter ]
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well, happy belated birthday to you. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about something. i'm sure you remember this but i wonder how much of it you remember. so when i was a kid, growing up there was a show "circus of the stars." >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: and not only -- it was the early '70s i think. or no, the early '80s, rather. and not only would i watch this show, we would go see it because i lived in las vegas. and so we'd see like, you know, brooke shields would be on like a tightrope and like all sorts of weird stuff. like linda blair would be like taming lions. >> naturally. >> jimmy: now, they redid the show in the '90s and you were on it. >> yes, i was. >> jimmy: and we have the tape of you on it. >> of course you do. >> jimmy: because why else would we bring it up? >> why else? >> jimmy: and what a cherished talk show tradition, to find an embarrassing tape of you at a very young age and to show it like we do right now.
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>> on the emmy award-winning series "picket fences" elisabeth moss. [ applause ] [ creaking noise ] >> so weird. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. it was a trick. those legs looked so natural. [ applause ] whose idea was it to have a 9-year-old girl put her legs behind her head on television? >> it's so weird. i was just like circus of the stars but i wasn't famous. i was 9 years old. nobody knew who i was. the only thing i remember about
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it is i literally haven't seen that. it's amazing. is that they wanted me to do something like a trapeze or like a tightrope or something like that and i'm the least adventurous person there is. i don't even like hiking. that's too much for me. so i think that was the only thing they could come up with that i would do. >> jimmy: and was that your dog or was it a rental? >> no, i think it was a rental. >> jimmy: it was a rental dog. wow, that's something else. you have never seen it? >> i have never seen it. >> jimmy: even when it was on tv you didn't gather around the set some. >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: i'm glad i could bring that back for you. >> it's inspiring. >> jimmy: who would have guessed that little contortionist would go on to be such an acclaimed actor? and i think it makes sense. >> jimmy: you do? >> it's a natural progression to "the handmaid's tale." >> jimmy: "the handmaid's tale" you just got renewed for a fourth season of the show. [ cheers and applause ] and maybe just as excitingly, last week oprah made an appearance on the show. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: in a way. >> yeah. she's our radio free america
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voice, which we are obviously incredibly honored. the first year she did it was season 2. and we were trying to think of the most iconic voice and obviously it was oprah. and everyone said no, you can't get oprah. oprah, oprah. she's not going to come do the handmaid's tale. and me and warren littlefield e-mailed her and she said yes right away. >> jimmy: how did you getter e-mail address? you got it from somebody? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like dear oprah we want you have to on? >> yeah, this is why and this is who you would play and it's important to have your voice in the show. she recorded it in 15 minutes in her recording studio at her home. and now she's on speed dial. >> jimmy: so anytime you need oprah like batman you shine the oprah signal. >> what does she have to do? >> jimmy: she might have nothing to do. who knows? maybe she's bored out there. >> we're happy to help. >> jimmy: i think the message is send a bunch of e-mails to oprah
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if you have a project. she might agree to it immediately. >> she's so bored she'll do it. >> jimmy: when we come back, we're going to see a clip from this movie with melissa mccarthy. it's called "the kitchen" and it opens in theaters friday. elisabeth moss is here. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by "47 meters down: uncaged," in aerts theaters friday august 16th. gold ♪ ♪ and i'm feelin' brand new ♪ yeah, i'm feelin' brand new ♪ ♪ and i'm feelin' brand new ♪ yeah, i'm feelin' brand new ♪ no i, i can't feel the heat ♪ yet don't let it catch you
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me and my boys was at a bar and this guy, we done some business with, he asked me. >> and he asked you what? >> to kill you. >> what's his name? >> something irish. they all sound the name. dodo or -- >> duffy. >> no. no. he's my cousin. he knows that we are in business with you. >> how much did he offer to pay? >> 25 grand for each of you. >> that's 75. we'll give you 100. >> you go to war, there's no coming back. >> jimmy: that is elisabeth moss, tiffany haddish, and melissa mccarthy in "the kitchen," which is -- i'll let you explain. it's basically you become mobsters when your mobster husbands get locked up. >> yep. they get caught, they get locked
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up and we have to take over because we have to survive and feed our kids and pay the rent. and "the kitchen" stands for hell's kitchen. it's set in 1978. >> jimmy: melissa was here last week. >> i saw. >> jimmy: and she said you guys like really laid waste to nice neighborhoods to make it look like they looked in the '70s when things were not nice. >> yeah, we did. they would take an entire street and turn it into 1978 hell's kitchen, which is not nice at all. so you'd see these people come out of their apartments thinking they had bought a beautiful loft this was in an up-and-coming neighborhood and they'd come out and there would just be trash all over the street and graffiti and you'd kind of see these people be like oh, great. >> jimmy: is it -- i would imagine it's kind of fun to like be living in that time, even in just a small way. and it must be fun for you also to not have to wear a robe all the time as well. >> i got to wear jeans and i got to wear like normal clothes. i do -- i observed this recently. i have wore an extraordinary amount of wetsuits in my career. >> jimmy: really?
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>> yes. >> jimmy: why? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] for some reason. like pushing me into the water is like a thing that is very popular. i wore a wetsuit in "the kitchen." i wear a wetsuit in "the invisible man." i wore a swetsuit in "top of th lake." >> jimmy: when you wear a wetsuit is it your idea or do they say we're going to put you in a lake and you say i'm not adventurous i'm going to need a wetsuit. >> they're great. >> jimmy: are they great? sometimes i drive by and there's always like a middle-aged man taking off his wetsuit by his car in l.a. it's a thing you don't see other places. you know what i mean? and it almost seems hard to get off. >> it's impossible to get on and off. >> jimmy: is that why you wear it all the time? [ laughter ] >> i'm wearing one now. >> jimmy: oh, you are. great. >> just in case it may rain. >> jimmy: "the handmaid's tale" seems like -- is it -- i wonder because sometimes people will be on horror movies and you'll see was it scary on the set and they're like no, no, it wasn't at all.
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but is it? does it feel oppressive sometimes doing that show? do you feel uncomfortable? >> no, no. i don't think so. as crazy as it is, we honestly -- we enjoy doing the show so much. it's important to us. we love it. it's an incredible opportunity. and i think that, you know, for us it's a great challenge but it's very, very fulfilling. >> what is the worst scene you've had to work through? something you truly did not enjoy doing. >> probably the birth scene in season 2 where i had to give birth by myself naked. >> jimmy: no wetsuit at all. >> no wetsuit. [ laughter ] i should have had a wetsuit. >> jimmy: yeah, that's no good. >> yeah, yeah. but people kept asking me, are you okay? i know this is a really hard day for you. like are you doing all right? and i'm like you know i'm not really giving birth, right? like i think this is easier than actually giving birth. >> jimmy: did you have real babies -- >> yeah. we had a couple of them. and there was one baby that in order to get that post-birth
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look, the guck that comes from the baby they put cream cheese and jelly on the baby, which is like -- yeah. i know. aw. that baby was not aw. that baby was not having it. not having it. first of all, it smelled, which is weird. >> jimmy: the baby smelled? >> of cream cheese and jelly. and it hated it. so it was screaming so loud. so i was doing this really emotional scene where i'm like naming the baby after my mother. it's all very emotional. and this baby's just screaming at the top of its lungs in my ear. and they're so loud. >> jimmy: because you made it into an english muffin. yeah. [ laughter ] >> i know. it's fair, honestly. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on the new season of the show. elisabeth moss, everybody. her new movie is called "the kitchen." it opens friday. we'll be right back with sebastian maniscalco. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ in our schools today.
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yeah. traveling. >> is there anything about your trip you'd like to complain about? >> complain? smell. street smell. weird smell. >> it smells like weed here? >> yeah, yeah. >> you don't like weed? >> yeah. i'm not smoking. >> you kind of are, though. everybody is. >> yeah. the smell. mm. [ coughing ] yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ]
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keep being you. and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for hiv in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. that means the amount of virus is so low it can't be measured in lab tests. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. if you're hiv-positive, keep loving who you are, inside and out. ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you.
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-[ scoffs ] if you say so. ♪ -i'm sorry? -what teach here isn't telling you is that snapshot rewards safe drivers with discounts on car insurance. -what? ♪ -or maybe he didn't know. ♪ [ chuckles ] i'm done with this class. -you're not even enrolled in this class. -i know. i'm supposed to be in ceramics. do you know -- -room 303. -oh. thank you. -yeah. -good luck, everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. still to come, music from ava max. our next guest is a very successful stand-up k3450e7come with a very big job this month. he's hosting the mtv video music awards live on august 26th. please say hello to sebastian maniscalco. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> so nice. >> jimmy: how's it going? >> it's going good. i got my father backstage. >> jimmy: i heard you brought your dad with you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's not been here with you, has he? >> he hasn't. he's pacing, he's nervous. >> jimmy: is he? >> yeah. he goes, listen, this is network tv. sfl it's not the talent show in high school. are you going to be funny? i go dad, relax. he's nervous. >> jimmy: he says that to you as if that would help in any way, like that's going to make you go oh, yeah, right, i have to be funny. >> yeah. like he is no help whatsoever. been here for two days. we've been eating like sharks. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? he's a big eater, dad. >> well. >> jimmy: i know. it's a thing. it's genetic. it's something in us. >> well, my wife is not used to it. my wife comes from a jewish family. all right? so when we go over to her house and her parents, you get like portioned amounts of food. >> jimmy: oh, really?
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[ laughter ] >> they give you a chicken thigh and broccoli. and you don't know if there's any more. right? [ laughter ] so with italians we bring it out so you could see, you know, the mussi musse mussels, the pas pasta, the meat. you can kind of calculate, okay, there's enough for seconds. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> my wife's family i'm looking, is anybody going to eat that? because i'm starving. >> jimmy: it is weird. it is especially weird when you look at a box of spaghetti and it says eight servings. and you go eight servings? i'll polish this off all by myself no, problem. >> absolutely. i could eat, man. >> jimmy: i bet your dad, though, has the same thing, huh? >> totally. my dad -- we just eat. that's all we do. >> jimmy: your dad's a funny guy, right? you talk about him. what does he do for a living again? >> he's a hairstylist. i grew up, my father was bald with a ponytail growing up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the best look there is. it really is.
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>> imagine him showing up for the pta meeting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and this is years ago when it wasn't that common. now you see it regularly. >> yeah, he was ahead of his time. >> jimmy: he had no hair. i always love that, when a guy's a hairstylist and is primarily bald. >> yeah. it's like going to a dentist with no teeth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you take him like to see things in l.a.? are you guys touring at all? >> he's like -- he's coming here and then after this he's like where are we eating? so we're going out to dinner. >> jimmy: does he cut your hair? >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: you don't want -- >> he's older now. he's 74. he still cuts hair. but i don't want -- >> jimmy: is he having fun with his grandzmirnld. >> yeah, he's having a ball. i have a newborn baby. >> jimmy: congratulations. it's a girl, right? >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how's that going? >> you can speak to this.
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i've got a daughter, 2 1/2. i've got a son seven weeks. now, the son's on my wife's breast constantly. and the daughter's vying for attention with my wife. and i took the summer off. i'm like, i'll help. i am not needed at the house. my daughter, i'm trying everything possible. i mean, when i go on tour i make a lot of people laugh. and i'm getting nothing at the house. my daughter's looking like you get paid for? [ laughter ] so i'm trying to find out where i fit in. >> jimmy: have you tried breast-feeding? >> maybe. maybe i should go home and whip out my nipple. i don't know. >> jimmy: yeah. it's bad when that happens but that does happen because whoever's got one kid the other kid wants that parent and then the other parent might as well be in the car. >> i'm taking walks around the block because i'm like man, does my daughter like me? what do i got to do? what's going on?
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so i'm really taking this stuff -- >> jimmy: they honored al pacino and you were asked to be part of that. were you -- do you know al pacino? because i know you're in a movie together. >> well, we did this "irishman." i wasn't in any scenes with him so, i never met him. so i go to this thing and i meet him before the show. and he's like oh, yeah, you were in "the irishman." i'm going my god, pacino recognized me from the movie. i go home i call my parents, i'm like pacino recognized me from the movie. i come from a negative family. what do you mean recognized you? [ laughter ] nothing is ever -- so my dad's like he probably had a guy whisper, yeah, "the irishman." [ laughter ] so i'm doing this gig, and it's -- you know, it's one of these hell gigs where you go and you're going to go on after the
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auction. >> jimmy: right. >> so i go on and the room is spattering with talking and whatnot and pacino's there. i don't want to look at him because i don't want to see if he's laughing or not because i knew that was going to distract me. but they weren't listening to me. it was awful. and a guy was coming down to take his seat and i was getting like upset inside. and i'm like guy, guy, sit down. the guy's blind. [ laughter ] so it was one of those gigs. it's falling apart at the seams. stallone was there. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> well, this is like my superhero. growing up, there's only one guy i really wanted a picture with in hollywood and it was stallone. i got to meet him before the thing, and the person who was supposed to have the camera wasn't ready and i'm not going to keep rambo waiting. take out a selfie and -- >> jimmy: so you didn't get the picture? >> no. i said i just wanted to meet
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you, big fan, and thin just -- i'm not that guy. i'm not the guy -- you know -- if it's not happening it's not happening. >> jimmy: did sly enjoy your performance then afterwards? >> well, i look down two minutes into the act. sly, gone. [ laughter ] now, i'm thinking did he leave before i got up? did he listen for two minutes, this guy stinks, and walked out? that's playing in my head. >> jimmy: this is a nightmare. >> terrible. terrible. but then pacino, i look down finally, and he's laughing. but then of course i'm thinking somebody probably said would you laugh? the guy's dying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's no one that nice in the world. so now you have -- speaking of hell gigs, this mtv vma thing. >> yes. >> jimmy: are do you keep up with any of this music they're playing -- are they even playing any music on mtv? >> well, i kind of follow it
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from afar. i don't know who's feuding with who? who's throwing shade. [ laughter ] but yeah, i'm excited. this is going to be a challenge for me. a different audience for me. but i'm coming prepared. this is going to be a good one. >> jimmy: you're hoping to enjoy this? >> oh, yeah. i'm not bringing my father. >> jimmy: and you have a new tour. you're very prolific. what is the title of this tour? >> the titled called "you bother me." that's what i'm constantly saying throughout my entire life. >> jimmy: this is your mantra in a way. >> i call my sister, you go you know what bothers me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, thank god you funneled that into a career and an outlet. and i hope your dad enjoys your performance. will he review you when you go backstage? >> this is what's going to happen, people. i'm going to go back. if he doesn't say anything, he didn't like it. >> oh, really?
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>> if he says something, that was great, then i know that we're going to have a beautiful dinner. if he doesn't say anything, it's going to be tough eating meatballs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i'll be praying for you. i wish you the best. >> thank you. >> jimmy: sebastian maniscalco, everybody. the mtv vmas august 26th. and the "you bother me" tour starts september 12th in tulsa, oklahoma. we'll be right back with ava max! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the all new 2019 a-class. mercedes-be mercedes-benz, the best or nothing. (wholding you back? excessive underarm sweating qbrexza is the first and only
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once-daily prescription cloth towelette approved to treat excessive underarm sweating. also known as axillary hyperhidrosis. open one today and see what unfolds. (man vo) do not use qbrexza if you have certain medical conditions. qbrexza may cause new or worsening urinary retention, problems with control of your body temperature and blurred vision. the most common side effect reported was dry mouth. call your healthcare provider if you experience side effects. (woman vo) imagine how life can unfold. ask a dermatologist how you may reduce excessive underarm sweating with qbrexza. you know when you're at ross and that cute dress gets even cuter? yes. or when you can say yes... to both? (smiling) sure. or when you find that brand at that price? are you kidding me? yeah. that's yes for less. and that's what ross always has in store. whoa. (sighs) yes... oh, yeah.
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it feels even better when you find it for less. get your yes for less at the new stores in west livermore and in union city. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz, the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank elisabeth moss and sebastian maniscalco, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, here with the song "so am i," ava max! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ do you ever feel like a misfit everything inside you is dark and twisted ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby
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so am i ♪ ♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪ can you hear the whispers all across the room you feel her eyes all over you like cheap perfume ♪ ♪ you're beautiful but misunderstood so why you trying to be just like the neighborhood ♪ ♪ i can see ya i know what you're feeling so let me tell you about my little secret ♪ ♪ i'm a little crazy underneath this underneath this ♪ ♪ do you ever feel like a misfit everything inside you is dark and twisted ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby so am i ♪ ♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪ do you ever feel like an outcast you don't have to fit into the format ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby so am i ♪
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♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪ oh so dress up fancy like sid and nancy walking killer queen gotta keep them guessing ♪ ♪ so baby come pass me a lighter we're gonna leave them on fire we're the sinners and the blessings ♪ ♪ i can see ya i know what you're feeling so let me tell you about my little secret ♪ ♪ i'm a little crazy underneath this underneath this ♪ (♪ do you ever feel like a misfit everything inside you is dark and twisted ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby so am i ♪ ♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪ do you ever feel
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like an outcast you don't have to fit into the format ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby so am i ♪ ♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪ ah ah ah you're king and you're queen you're strong then you're weak ♪ ♪ you're bound but so free ah ah ah so come and join me and call me harley and we'll make them scream ♪ ♪ do you ever feel like a misfit everything inside you is dark and twisted ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby so am i ♪ ♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪ do you ever feel like an outcast you don't have to fit into the format ♪ ♪ oh but it's okay to be different cause baby so am i ♪ ♪ so am i so am i so am i i i i i ♪ ♪
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this is "nightline." tonight -- terror in america. >> run. >> two cities 13 hours apart. at least 31 people massacred. [ gunshots ] bullets tearing apart el paso, texas and dayton, ohio. one a racist attack. the other the shooter's dark past slowly coming to light. now americans demanding answers and action. plus, heroes under fire. >> why run? >> out of darkness extraordinary bravery. >> we did everything possible to save him. like everything. >> reporter: rushing to help
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