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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 16, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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>> i'm ama daetz. thanks for being here. right now on "jimmy kimmel >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator kamala harris. comedian lenny clarke. and music from offset featuring cardi b. and now, for the time being, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for joining us. i don't know if you know, this is the biggest week of the year for nerds in southern california. as of tonight, just down the interstate, about 120 miles which would take you, i don't know, maybe nine hours from here, down the 405, comic-con is under way, the 50th annual comic-con. hard to believe this has been going on for 50 years. you know, some of the original attendees who were living in
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their parents' basements for the first comic-con are now living in their grandparents' basements. their own kids living under them. did you know every year at comic-con at least five people die from getting their cape stuck in an escalator. it also is world emoji day, this is an international event organized by whom i don't know. but on behalf of everyone at the show, smiley face with hearts for eyes, prayer hands, prayer hands and a thumb up to you. some parent are concerned that their kids are using emojis to communicate in code, and yeah, they are. they are doing it. every emoji is also a sex thing. all of them. even santa claus has some kind of connotation. but emojis have become a universal language in some ways. and in honor of world emoji day today we decided to put pedestrians to the test. we went out on the street and showed people some common
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combinations of emojis, like phrases that people use to ask them if they could tell us what they mean. >> if somebody sent you this, what does this mean? >> this is someone who's against religion i would imagine, because it's a church and poo. >> maybe it's a popular phrase. >> poopin' in church. >> someone's talkin' gossip at church? >> what does this mean? >> holy [ bleep ]. >> great. >> hands, clapping, clapping. >> this means like whatever. this, i don't know, is that a fruit or something? >> touching butts. >> touching butts? >> yeah. >> what would you say if someone sent this to you? >> thank you? >> hands on, hands on your boobs. >> time doesn't stop when a cow poops. >> stop eating expired meat or else you will poop. >> no time for bull [ bleep ].
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>> when you make a decision about your diet. corn or doughnuts. >> shove a piece of corn up your [ bleep ] doughnut. >> corn hole either way. either, either hole. that's what, oh, god, i probably would be offended if i got this. >> put your corn in the doughnut. >> put your corn in the doughnut? >> yes, sir. >> and move it back and forth. >> jimmy: well, listen now, we learned something. that was educational. our president has been very angry face emoji at the so-called squad of four non-white congress women that he says hate the united states and should go back to the countries they came from, even though well, they're all americans. three were born here and the other moved here as a kid. yesterday in the house, all 235 democrats, plus one independent and four republicans voted to condemn trump's racist tweets. they had a vote.
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and by the way, there will be another vote on whether trump is a racist november 2020. we're all invited to vote on that one. some political observers believe by focussing on racism the democrats are playing into trump's hands. although they're so small it's really hard to tell. they may be right. according to a new poll, trump's support among republicans is up 5% since he began those attacks, although his approval rating among democrats dropped 2%, which i think was all the democrats he had left. there are so many pundits on cable news. they go why won't republicans in congress stand up to this president? maybe for the same reason dogs don't stand up to their owners because the owners give them meat? i don't know if you've seen the new slogan. embracism. it's catchy. i wonder what would happen if he
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started acting like a human being? would his poll numbers go down? i guess we won't find out. you know who doesn't have a problem with his tweets? his third favorite son eric. >> i love the tweet. if you don't love our country, get out. if you complain about our country, go experience somewhere else in the world. i've seen a lot of the world, right? we have it so great in america. we're the best at absolutely everything we do. you go see some of the conditions around the world. i'm not saying america doesn't have certain problems. go see conditions around the world and we are so fortunate to live here. if you don't like it here, i like his message, leave. >> jimmy: that's what they said about that haircut. if you are not happy about it, leave. poor et. he's never had a hug. you know how trump said he's not a fan of jeffrey epstein?
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guess what, there's a new old tape that has emerged with the president of the united states living it up with guess who? >> a tape of the archives shows trump giving epstein h personal attention. >> donald, donald, donald! >> the footage shot in november of 1992, before trump opened the club, shows the president surrounded by cheerleaders for the bills and dolphins, capturing his fun-loving bachelor lifestyle. >> jimmy: well, who knew he was such a great dancer. how are we still finding embarrassing old videos of this guy? there's one part i want to take another look at. this is really the donald in action. watch his hand, watch this move. yeah, that's the old billy bush style grab and pat on the but the right there.
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if i was joe biden, every time he called me creepy, i would hold up that video. can you do that on a flip phone? have you been using this face app? everybody's using the face app. it's an app, you take a photo of yourself, makes a very realistic picture of you as an old person. we did it with guillermo, and that's what guillermo looks like. you look like an exiled south american dictator. >> no, i look good. >> jimmy: so everyone's doing this. i don't know why everyone's doing this. if you want to see what you will look like old, just have children. the scary part of the app is in order to use it, you grant face app a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, fully paid, sub licensable to reproduce, adopt, create derivative work and display your user content in any user name or likeness in connection with your user
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contact now known or later developed without compensation to you. oh, great, sign me up. that sounds good. and the people you're granting this permission to? it's a company in russia. so this is just a good rule. if everyone in the internet is doing something that seems fun, don't do it. do not join in. since they have our information anyway, i thought it would be fun to give the face app treatment to some of the democratic nominees for president to see what they might look like after eight years in the white house. it can age you. this is senator kamala harris who is with us tonight. there she is after the face app. this is senator cory booker. and this is what he would look like in eight years. this is senator elizabeth warren and in 2028. this is vice president joe biden, lookin' pretty -- looks just like bob barker there. beto o'rourke after two terms? oh, wow.
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pete buttigieg? bill de blasio? bill de blasio really comes to life. and finally, senator bernie sanders, after becoming president, bernie sanders. i guess the glasses are gone. [ applause ] not only is senator kamala harris with us, we have music from offset. offset is here. doing their song "clout" with assistance from his bride, cardi b. offset is very popular. if you're an older music fan, maybe you might have trouble understanding some of his lyrics. there is a lot of new lingo, but fortunately, i am here to help explain them. it's time for new lyrics for old people. to help us is offset and cardi b. [cheers and applause] >> good to see you. >> jimmy: thank you for being here.
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this is going to be great. so offset, you wrote the song. you know what everything means. you start the lyrics, and i will translate line byline. and we'll do it together, okay? >> straight out to the street penthouse miami beach, yo, yo. >> jimmy: i came from humble beginnings. but now i own a condominium in florida. yao. >> swept enough my bitch. i bought her the limo. she bought me the ring. >> jimmy: that means my wife and i exchange cars and jewelry, okay? good. >> get the well. >> jimmy: i'm saving my money for my children and i love instagram a lot. >> i see, i see, i see, whole lot of people need to hear this.
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it's mom names to my hit list. >> jimmy: everyone listen closely, because i'm upset with a lot of you. >> say what it wants to, but [ bleep ] like a fat bitch. >> jimmy: i believe in free speech and i am sexually aroused. >> no, it doesn't mean that. >> jimmy: what does it mean? >> have you heard that big girls have better vagina than skinny girls? >> jimmy: of course, my mother taught me that when i was younger. >> that's what i meant. >> jimmy: thank you for correcting. let's keep going. >> i sure would hope blog at this rate, they're using my name for clickbait. >> jimmy: you're such a topic of online conversation you might, you're thinking about maybe becoming ceo of buzz feed and women are instigating fights to promote their music and hair extensions. >> yes. >> jimmy: thank you. all right. [cheers and applause]
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>> jimmy: i think this is really helpful so far. >> you want me to keep on going? >> jimmy: yeah. >> they tickin' me off. say anything to get a response. >> jimmy: they're aware of her talent and are just trying to get a rise out of her. >> yeah. i know they're mean, somebody got to -- >> jimmy: their popularity is waning. >> yes, every single time! >> jimmy: i'm so happy right now, i can't even explain it. >> you're good. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: all right. shall we do the rest? or do we have the idea? >> i think we're good. >> i think you got it. thk at learned here is there are a lot of people who are trying really to take some of your fame by taking shots at you and you guys have had enough of it, yes? >> they do anything for clout. >> jimmy: do anything for clout.
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>> yes, sir! >> yes! >> jimmy: i should really be on the next song. >> yeah, you should, some people don't understand our lingo, and i think you would be really good at that. >> jimmy: thank you, cardi b, i appreciate it, and thank you, offset. we'll hear more from you guys later. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from offset with cardi b. lenny clarke is here. and we'll be right back with senator kamala harris. ♪ abc's jimmy kimmel live, brought to you by discover. ch ys at the end of your first year. you'll match my miles? yeah! mile for mile! and no blackout dates or annual fee. nice! i was thinking about taking a scuba diving trip! i love that. or maybe go surfing... or not. ok. maybe somewhere else. maybe a petting zoo. can't go wrong. can't get eaten. earn miles. we'll match 'em at the end of your first year. plus no annual fee or blackouts. the discover it® miles card.
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♪ >> jimmy: well, hello there, and welcome back to our show. tonight, he is a very funny man who ran all the way from boston to be here. comedian lenny clarke. then -- his album is called
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"father of 4," offset featuring cardi b from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. tomorrow night we have a good show, billy eichner, sean mcvay and music from spoons. so please join us for that. >> jimmy: of the four leading candidates for the 2020 democratic nomination for president, our first guest is the only one young enough to have listened to offset and cardi b on purpose. she's from right here in california and she means business. please welcome senator kamala harris. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome home. you're home in california. you've been in iowa, right? >> i was just there yesterday. >> jimmy: how long were you there? >> that was a 24-hour trip, but before i was there for several days.
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>> jimmy: had you been to iowa before? >> not before i was a candidate, yeah. but now i've been there a lot. >> jimmy: you did very well in the debate, and now the polls are surging. you had a big bump in the national poll and in california you're number one. which is good, because it's your state. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i think in new hampshire you're number two in new hampshire? which is good, right? >> i'm not paying attention to the poll. >> jimmy: do you not pay attention to the polls? >> no, the only poll that matters to me is on election day. >> jimmy: did anybody come to you and say here's how it's going? >> yeah, my team has told me, and certainly, it's positive reenforcement. >> jimmy: is the reason you don't pay attention to the polls what happened last election? >> i have a complicated relationship with polls, which is this. when i started, when i first ran for d.a., when i first ran for attorney general people said to me nobody like you has done this.
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they're not ready for you, and the first polls that came out suggested to everyone that we couldn't win. so from then on i've just kind of felt like, you know what? i'm going to pay attention to the voters and the people and leave it to the consultants to pay attention to the polls. >> jimmy: ultimately, the polls don't matter, although they do matter when it comes to fund raising. >> it is an indication of where you are. >> jimmy: you got a big boost at the debate. i think you broke two of joe biden's ribs at the debate, are you aware of that? do you have any regret of going in so hard on him? >> you know, i, i felt strongly that we needed to have a full discussion about that era in our country. and it was a discussion that had been occurring for, probably about two weeks before the debate. and i felt the need to be sure that we are reflecting true history as it relates to integration of the schools and the need to force integration because there were so many
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states that were adamant against allowing the children of all races to be educated together. and i'll tell you, jimmy, i have had so many people come up to me and almost whisper, like it's a secret among us. black and white. i was bussed. since that debate. it's something that, it has not been the subject of much discussion in the last few decades, but it is something that impacted millions of people in our country, and i think it's an important, it's an important reminder that we have to always remember our history and the last chapter if we're going to accurately and correctly write the next chapter. >> jimmy: is there a danger you feel -- [ applause ] because this is, i feel like this is unlike any other election. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is there a danger that the democrats will cannibalize and really hurt each other going into, you know, the big prize? >> i hope not. and i think that most of us are of like mind, that this should be, on that debate stage a
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debate about issues but not personal attacks. it should be about, you know, pointing out the differences, obviously between us so that democrats can make a decision, but it should not be about cannibalizing anybody. >> jimmy: if you get to the point where you are debating trump, will you engage in personal attacks? i hope the answer is yes. >> i will prosecute the case against four more years. there's a rap sheet to be prosecuted. >> jimmy: he barely mentioned you at his rally tonight, which i think means he's most scared of you. i really do. he's been focussing on, why do you think he's focussing on these congress women so much? >> i think that he is, has defiled the office of the president of the united states. >> jimmy: you call him a coward, which isn't necessarily fair. this man almost went to vietnam were it not for his bone spurs. >> bone spurs. here's thing. the president of the united states. >> jimmy: mm-hm. >> has so much power, and in particular, in that microphone
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that she holds. >> jimmy: she's a woman? >> she should be president. and what we have seen is that this individual, this president, he, i guess, believes that his power is to beat people down instead of what real power and strength is about, which is lifting people up. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that doesn't seem to be the case. >> and that's why i also call him a coward. you know my background. i was a prosecutor. i took on predators, be they transnational criminal organizations that preyed on women and children or the big banks that preyed on homeowners, pharmaceutical companies, for-profit colleges. i'm going to tell you something about predators. by their very nature and character and instinct, they prey on the vulnerable. they prey on those they believe to be weak. they prey on those who are in need of help and often desperate in need of help.
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and this is the kind of characteristic that we see in this president. and then he embraces the, he embraces the dictators. he embraces kim jong un. he embraces vladimir putin. he embrace mbs. and let's be clear about those three fellas, right? which is on the issue of russia's interference in the election of the president of the united states, this president prefers to take it word of the russian president over the word of the american intelligence community on the subject of an american student who was tortured and later died. this president prefers to take the word of the north korean dictator, on the journalist who has american credentials. he prefers to take the word of a saudi prince over the word of the american intelligence community. who is this guy? >> jimmy: i think, i really, i mean, you crystallized it very well. i think he was the host of "celebrity apprentice"?
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>> exactly. he obviously achieved success there. he obviously has achieved very little success here, so he should go back to that. >> jimmy: senator kamala harris is here, we'll be right back. >> jimmy: senator kamala harris is here, we'll be right back. ♪ int. but there's more... switch now and get 4 free phones for your family. hashtag first date! he ain't family yet. but there's more... you also get 4 lines for just $100 a month with unlimited gigs so you can stay close to your loved ones. cut your hair, hippie. switch to boost mobile and get 4 free lg stylo™ 5 phones, 4 lines for $100 a month with unlimited gigs, all on our super reliable, super fast nationwide network.
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: kamala harris of california is here, back home in california. what are you going to do? you're here a short time. >> i'm here. i've got a number of meetings and events, and i'm having the in-laws and kids over for dinner tomorrow night so i'm cooking. >> jimmy: today there was a vote, it was almost a unanimous vote. this was for the september 11th victims fund. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: john stewart spoke beautifully about this. the idea was they would extend those benefits for victims of
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september 11th, and one senator, rand paul, voted to block it. it makes us wonder if you can ever come together on anything. >> the way that i approached, it's tragic that that did not pass. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because as we know and have known, for more than a decade, there are so many heroes associated with 9/11 who deserve to receive all the benefit of our respect and dignity we can give them. you know, on the broader issue about whether we can find any common ground in the united states congress, i do believe we can. because i believe that the american people know that the vast majority of us have so much more in common than what separates us, and the way that i think about my priorities is through the lens of what i call the 3:00 in the morning thought, right? which is when people wake up in the middle of the night with that thought that's been weighing on them. when they're thinking that
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thought, it is never through the lens of the party with which they're registered to vote. it is never through the simplistic demographic polls put them in. when we're thinking that thought, you know this, i know this well. it has to do with our personal health, the health of our children or our parents, can i get a job, keep a job. can i pay off the student loans? can i help my family member get off their opioid addiction or drug addiction? the vast majority of us have so much more in common than what separates us, and if we approach priorities through that lens, i do believe we can see progress. but the first thing we've got to do is agree also that we are going to reject those people who are trying to sow hate and division among us. and this is the contrast, which is what i believe the american people truly are and what we are hearing from supposed leaders. what's been happening over the past 48 hours, people may not
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agree with my policies. people may not vote for me, but we have got to get to a place where we as americans agree. we have got to unify as a country among our commonalities, we have got to. >> jimmy: you support medicare for all? >> i do. >> jimmy: do you, and you, would people be able to still go and get supplemental insurance. >> yes, they would. absolutely. >> jimmy: is this something, medicare for all would cost the middle class or lower middle class, the lower class more, something that would increase taxes? >> no, it would not. and it would actually bring health care to the access of health care is not related to how much money you have in your back pocket. we have medicare for all. you know where that is? the emergency rooms of america, and it is too expensive, and it also means that people are
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getting access to health care when they're in crisis. instead of before then, when we can actually alleviate their pain and extend the quality of their life in a much smarter and more effective way. you know, and people, there's a whole argument that people think, maybe is this going to mean that i need to, that i have to worry about not being able to see my doctor? 91% of the doctors in america are in medicare. and those that are not are mostly pediatricians. and the 9%, and you know why they're not in medicare, because medicare doesn't cover children. >> jimmy: mm-hm. >> but when we have medicare for all, that will not be any longer the case, which means the vast majority of doctors will be in that system and you can keep your doctor under that system and it will be that when you walk into that hospital, when you walk into the doctor's office, you don't have to fill out all those forms and give your credit card. you just give your medicare card and you walk in and you walk out when you're done. >> jimmy: you've been working on a prescription drug plan. >> yes. >> jimmy: what is that plan? >> it's about bringing the cost
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of prescription drugs down. the pharmaceutical companies have been jacking up prices hand over fist for years. i want to require that they pay a fair price for drugs. what that means is looking at what other countries are charging for the same drugs and then bringing the price down so it will be, it will match the average of what other countries are paying because why is it that the united states government is the only one that is allowing its people to pay more for the same drug that people can get in canada for half the price? >> jimmy: many of which we are making. >> i know. this is my point. and why isn't the american government standing up? well, because you have so many people in washington, d.c. who are in the back pocket of the pharmaceutical companies. >> jimmy: who's worst one? name'em! >> i've got a list. but also, what i'm prepared to do is this. if we can't get consensus in the congress about that and also
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getting rid of the tax loophole for pharmaceutical companies to advertise on television, right? because they get tax breaks, all those advertisements you see. >> jimmy: how will we hear about mesothelioma if we don't, every four minutes. >> if we can't get congress to act on that, what i'm prepared to do as president is take executive action to one, allow people to buy their drugs from canada, to also put in place an attorney general of the united states who will prosecute pharmaceutical companies for predatory practices and to take the, the, the licenses, basically, that the patents that drug companies who have been funded and their research has been government funded, take their patents if they fail to bring prices down to the average of what other countries are charging. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for being here. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: give my best to everyone in iowa. senator kamala harris, everyone. she's running for president.
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we'll be right back with lenny clarke. we'll be right back with lenny clarke. ♪ so mac, which laptop lasts longer? surface laptop lasts longer. hmm, interesting. and which one's faster? this one's faster. really? amazing. which one has a better touchscreen? the surface has a better touchscreen. because it actually has a touchscreen. oh, right. macs don't have touchscreens. you should get a surface. trust me, i'm mac book. well, there you have it. mac book says, "get a surface." ♪ no i, i can't feel the heat ♪ yet don't let it catch you ♪ i can't feel the heat
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♪ >> dicky: if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see
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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, offset and cardi b. our next guest is a very funny man who is not running for president. you can see him live at giggles comedy club this weekend in saugus, massachusetts. please welcome lenny clarke. ♪ hello, how are you? you look fantastic. how much weight did you lose? >> 200 pounds. >> jimmy: for real 200 pounds. >> for real. jimmy, i was so fat my wife said you can start having sex with other people. >> jimmy: it freed up your marriage. >> it did. i could see my junk again. i'm very happy. >> jimmy: is she still okay with that now that you've lost the weight? >> oh, no, no, no, she put the brakes on. >> jimmy: i have a photograph.
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before and after. i'm guessin' this one's before. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what are you doing there, are you in a baby stroller? what's happening there >> it took them a week to get that lawn chair out of my ass. >> jimmy: and here, what are you doing, walking around the neighborhood scaring the children? >> i got a deal on a borat suit. >> jimmy: wow, look at you. i love looking at your body. >> thank you, and i yours. look how skinny you are. >> jimmy: what are you going to do about prescription drug prices, do you have a plan or anything like that? >> i got a guy. >> jimmy: have you thought about running for office? seems like in boston you could run for anything you wanted to. >> i could, i was in city hall and people said you should run for mayor, you should run for mayor. i didn't know they were kidding,
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and i did. >> jimmy: how old were you when you did this? >> 26 maybe. >> jimmy: and did you take it seriously at all? >> well, my, my campaign office was in a poodle salon. and they would be cutting poodles. i'd be on the phone, you got to vote for me [ barking ] and we were drinking in the bar, and dennis leery said i bet you can't steal that bus? i can drive anything. there were three buses lined up. i got in the middle one. >> jimmy: this is the city bus? >> yeah. and i smashed it in the front, smashed it in the back. another $50 says you can't get it out of the yard. $200 says you can't drive it down the tunnel. needless to say, it was scratched up. i picked up some elderly people and told them i was running for
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mayor before a police chase ensued. yeah, yeah, yeah. so then i pulled the bus over, we're blocked something like this, the cops couldn't get around. and i went to this football party with 150 witnesses. they knew i did it, but they couldn't prove it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you just left the bus? >> yeah, i left the bus there. no cell phones back then, you can do everything. someone said, that wasn't me. >> jimmy: you would have made some mayor. that would have been unbelievable. >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but your political career's over? there's no more, nothing? >> i decided i was going to run against joe kennedy for congress after a while. i said to my dad, dad, i'm going to run against joe kennedy for congress. he says you can't do that, the kennedys, they murder people and still get elected. i said okay, maybe i'll move to l.a. and become a standup. he said you might be able to beat that kennedy kid. >> jimmy: dad did not want you coming out here. >> dad did not want me coming
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out. every now and then, a bus will go by, lenny, you want to drive? no. >> jimmy: so you're doing some standup shows in saugus. the comedy crowds, are they friendly to you in your hometown? >> they're great, jimmy, but boston is such a comedy town. if you are having an off night, you suck! the other guy's better than you. so you've got to be on your a-game every single night, which is why we have so many great comics come out of that town. >> jimmy: you think that's why, because everybody's tough on them. >> they will not accept anything less than a perfect set. i love you, jimmy. i'm not your kid. i'm a big boy. i opened for aerosmith. >> jimmy: oh, you did? what year is this? >> oh, god, this is 35 years ago.
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i didn't know who they were. they were a big rock, because i was into disco. because if you could dance, you could get laid, and i could dance. so i was really into the disco, and these guys would come see me. and the fact that i didn't know them made them love me even more, and they invited me to open for them. and i go into the theater, and i go to the people, there's a comedian on tonight, we're going to kick his ass. this doesn't sound good. a stagehand says you don't go in, you go through the artist, i said i'm not an artist. you are tonight. they had lights, you couldn't see. they had bottles you could throw. somebody hit my in the nuts with milk duds. >> jimmy: did you come back tomorrow night? >> oh, yeah, yeah. oh, yeah. then, then they asked me to go to japan with them. i said oh, no, i got some stuff i got to do. >> jimmy: you didn't want to go to japan.
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>> when i was fat, the japanese kind of looked at me like i was godzilla. i talked to japanese women, no, no. i was in guam on an elevator, and this woman gets on with an a little baby, and she lights up the smoke and smoke in the elevator, and the little kid goes, look, mommy, giant, and she takes the cigarette out, he's not a giant, he's just fat! >> jimmy: whoever threw that milk dud must have had a laser. >> i think was a pitcher for the sox. when i was running against kennedy, we had bumper stickers, [ bleep ] kennedy. >> jimmy: that was a bumper sticker? >> they're still out there on ebay. yeah, and, you know, when i lost all the weight, you know, when i lost, the first 100 pounds i lost with weight-watchers. i was the only guy, and the women looking at me like i'm
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some weirdo. i lose 100 pounds, and i think i'm going to be the male spokesman. and they gave it to charles barkley, who i love. and i said he's famous, i understand. but then oprah bought the company, and i said i'm in, i did oprah. i didn't have sex with her, but i did the show. i lost 80 pounds on my own, then i wanted to get under 200. so i did this thing, fat loss, it was a scientific thing with drops and you had to be like a chemist, but i worked. i lost like 27 pounds in 37 days and now i'm here. >> jimmy: you look great. lenny clarke everybody. you can see lenny clarke live at giggles comedy club in saugus massachusetts july 19th and 20th. and we'll return with music from offset with cardi b. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by
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the all new amg four door kooufrp
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
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presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank senator kamala harris and lenny clarke. apologies to matt damon we ran out of time for him. nightline is next. but first this is his album, "father of four." the song is called "clout." here with help from cardi b, offset! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ straight out the streets to a penthouse miami beach [ bleep ] talk crazy♪ ♪ on tweets they don't want it 'cause i come to defeat i peep♪ ♪ these [ bleep ] all sweet bamboo sticks all in the jeep there's a new weirdo♪ ♪ every week get the whip put it up for my seats no cure for the ig disease ♪ do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout they do anything for clout♪ do anything for clout woo, woo they do anything for clout do anything for clout♪ [ bleep ]
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watch your mouth [ bleep ] stay in your place [ bleep ] get out the way♪ ♪ my [ bleep ] on your ass kim k no disrespect the [ bleep ] be tripping♪ ♪ but we love ye swapping our cars with my [ bleep ] i bought her the lambo♪ ♪ she bought me the wraith practice, practice practice make perfect [ bleep ]♪ ♪ it's never too late i took the ssss outta the snake then i take the bills♪ ♪ up out of the bank the blog and the media fake shorty dm me♪ ♪ i'm straight i'm not gon' bite on the bait sippin' on toxic waste♪ ♪ on the low with your [ bleep ] and it's great mask on her face♪ ♪ jason run to the set we in shape if i go broke♪ ♪ she gon' leave escape i put two mill' in the safe♪ ♪ just in case don't go my way my kids gotta have money not just me♪ that's selfish oh, i took the crown off the king like mike did elvis♪ ooh, the world is wild he dying don't lie that don't help him♪ ooh your [ bleep ] want to eat up the drip and you cannot help it♪ straight out the streets to a penthouse miami beach [ bleep ] talk crazy♪ ♪ on tweets they don't want it 'cause i come to defeat i peep♪
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♪ these [ bleep ] all sweet bamboo sticks all in the jeep there's a new weirdo♪ ♪ every week get the whip put it up for my seats no cure for the ig disease♪ do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout they do anything for clout♪ do anything for clout woo, woo they do anything for clout do anything for clout♪ look, whole lotta people need to hear this it's a lotta names on my hit list♪ mouth still say what it wants to [ bleep ] still wet like a big [ bleep ]♪ i should run a whole blog at this rate they using my name for clickbait♪ [ bleep ] even wanna start fake beef to sell their little weave and a mixtape♪ they know i'm the bomb they ticking me off saying anything to get a response♪ i know that mean they traffic is low somebody just gotta practice to launch♪ so [ bleep ] being tamed i'd rather be wild [ bleep ] is brandy they wanna be down♪ soon as these bitches got something to sell they say my name say my name♪ destiny child everybody wanna be lit everybody wanna be rich everybody wanna be this♪ if i was you i'd hate me [ bleep ] free my primes [ bleep ]♪ ♪ suck my [ bleep ] all of that talk and i'm calling it out ts
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a check then you gotta bounce i got the drip♪ ♪ come get an ounce they do anything for clout do anything for clout [ bleep ] is mad♪ ♪ [ bleep ] is trash oscar the grouch seeing me win they gotta hurt♪ ♪ ooh, ooh, ouch said when they see me what they gon' do [ bleep ]♪ not from the couch bah do anything for clout ♪ they do anything for clout ♪ do anything for clout they do anything for clout do anything for clout woo, woo♪ they do anything for clout do anything for clout♪
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this is "nightline". >> tonight, race to escape. >> there's a baby in there. >> the fiery runway wreck. new video of nascar legend dale earnhardt jr. with baby on board fleeing his burning plane after it bounced, skidded and burst into flames. the latest investigation in a scary summer in the skies. plus, mega-mansion marketing. if these walls could talk. >> i have put my own mark on the place. they'd sound just like michael douglas and say buy me. castles, palaces and villas for it's a buyer's market maybe there's a 15 million dollar steal? and, gift of friendship. the best birthday pres

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