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ferguson: everybody wants to be their friend. that is where we win. ♪ tonight we're young fore-e-e-e-ver ♪ ♪ we feel young forever tiffany haddish is one of the funniest women bowen: all you want to do is go home to the comfort of your family. working today. that's right. everyone has a favorite, too, ♪ feel young forever whether it's stand-up comedy vergara: i would do it all over again. or a movie like "girls trip." but in this new sunday night series, whoo! burrell: it's gonna be tough to say goodbye. tiffanmit have finally met her match. i got six kids, o'neill: these have been the best 10 years of my life. so i know where this is going. here's your first look at good job, kid. "kids say the darndest things." ♪ ♪ tonight, we're young forever ♪ ♪ hey. this is jaye. ♪ and this is tiffany. ♪ mm, mm-mm, mm we're ready to start the show. yep, she ready, oh, my gosh. this has been so much fun. 'cause kids say the darndest things. but it's not over yet. can you spell your name? this season, you're on "dancing with the stars" g-i-a-n-n-a. and i'm on "emergence," can you spell it backwards? and that's all you people out there really need to know, um, g-i-a-n-- but the folks at abc have asked us [ laughter ] to take a look at the full schedule. ♪ it's on, it's on tonight so let's do it. hannah, take a big breath, look at the prompter, ♪ hey ♪ it's on tonight read it like you memorized it, and let's go. ♪ it's on, it's on tonight here's a rapid-fire look at the new season on abc. go! what exactly do you do mondays -- in your bowling ball cleaning business? "dancing with the stars"... 10! 10! 10! i ask, uh, brown: ...then it's "the good doctor."

"would you like your balls polished or cleaned?" tuesdays, "the conners," "bless this mess"... [ laughs ] [ laughter ] i had that same job at about 22. ...the new comedy "mixed-ish," then "black-ish," and the new mystery "emergence." i yhree cannot do this.ghter ] oh, the k-swiss? ♪ "emergence" nicely done. okay, i'll give it a go. boy, please. wednesdays -- "the goldbergs," "schooled," "modern family"... [ laughs ] mar ..."single parents," um, let me live my life first, and the cobie smulders show "stumptown." and then, yeah, maybe i'll think on that. ♪ thursdays -- "grey's anatomy," "a million little things," i have a girlfriend. i think it's you. and "how to get away with murder." you think it's me? so, who wants in? oh, no, no, no, no, no. fridays -- "american housewife," he has not paid any of my bills. "fresh off the boat"... -ohh! -aah! [ laughter ] faison: ...and two hours of "20/20." i'm expecting a really important phone call from my agent. saturdays -- "saturday night football." announcer: touchdown! i need you to pretend you're me. roll tide! sundays -- she ready. "america's funniest videos," she ready. she ready. tiffany haddish hosts "kids say the darndest things," haddish: you may have to do some extra things, "shark tank," and nathan fillion is back in "the rookie." like eat bugs. she ready! and don't forget alright. i'll talk to you later. "jimmy kimmel live!" every weeknight. she's totally not ready. this fall, he'll be back in brooklyn [ laughter ] for a week of great episodes. [ laughs ] yay! we did it. if you forget yes, we did. to blend it in, then -- this has been "abc's fall preview special," then god will be mad if you forget to blend it in. and i only have one question -- god will be mad at you if you forget to blend it in? why am i not on "dancing with the stars"?

yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i really don't know. ♪ maybe you could put in a good word for me. tiffany and the kids will be on sunday nights, sandwiched between "america's funniest videos" not sure about that. but thanks for watching "abc's fall preview special." and "shark tank." next up, a new series with a badass woman that stars marvel's very own cobie smulders. bye, guys! bye, guys! ♪ this is the moment a series with a badass woman? i'm-a take this one. do it. ♪ this is the time cobie smulders returns to network tv vote for me. ♪ nothing to be stopping me, stopping me ♪ in a funny, action-packed series "emergence" -- tuesday nights, 10:00, that's set in portland, oregon. it's called "stumptown." portland got the nickname "stumptown" starting september 24th. love you. way back in the 1800s, when the city was growing so fast, they would chop down trees for buildings, but they didn't have time to remove the stumps. i'm like an encyclopedia of facts, hannah. i guess you are. starting september 24th. no, it says it in the teleprompter. so that early retirement we planned. we're just gonna go with that. it's going ok? okay. great. let's just say that cobie is not your typical p.i. now i'm spending more time with the kids. i'm introducing them to crab. she is truly hella strong. crab!? they love it. okay. see that? no, i do see that. i got guns, son. i can see that. ohhhh. u yeah. the ds and i wanto buil. girl, you better stop! let's frickin' do this. ♪ hhyou're finally building that outdoor kitchen. my name is cobie smulders, and i play dex parios.

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she's so tangible and so real. we can all relate to, plus a speed upgrade to 400 megs, free for 2 years. if not all of her characteristics, most of them. and ask about even more savings with xfinity mobile. i need to arrest you. click, call, or visit a store today. [ scoffs ] for what? for getting beat up? for 14 unpaid parking tickets. ugh. another one. [ siren wails ] dex has this car. you're supposed to go. >> a typical home would be too and it has a mixtape -- yes, a mixtape -- small. the scale has to be the same. that is jammed in the player. you'll go over a bump, and a song will come on. >> oh my goodness. [ click ] >> a special and unique place. ♪ >> they really did bring new [ groans ] life and then some. [ tires screech ] you okay? yeah. >> it feels like home. [ muffled screaming ] there's two more in the trunk. ♪ i would expect to see a lot of fun action... ♪ this is what happens when [ tires screech ] ...a lot of relationships you ideally care about, you meetr rlfr a world that seems interesting. it's exciting as a woman ream ] to be playing a character that hasn't really been seen before. ♪ yeah ♪ ather coming up, the cast of "a million little things" >> ty roasth." has some secrets to share. and let's start getting ready for the final season of "modern family." gonna miss that show. i grew up with it.

no, i didn't. >> is that what a break young i did. you did? people sounds like? >> ooh. makes me feel old. >> come back up, but it sounds like the impact is so strong it actually punctured his lungs. he was coughing up blood for a little bit. he says he's fine now. but it was not the greatest idea. he jumping off 50-foot cliffs. we're glad he's okay. this is bungee jumping in austria. he's set to go and go to the jump. you get to the countdown -- >> ooh. >> you gotstay. but that wrap around -- >> yeah. >> they do say that while he's not supposed to go down feet first, he did correct himself at

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was one of the biggest new hits of last season. it's one of those shows that you really have no idea what's coming next. so, what do you think's coming next? i don't know, but i can't wait to find out. and action. eddie: i want to come home, but i promised you no more lies. we finished season 1 with eddie clearly about to drop some nuggets of info on katherine. so, there's something i need to tell you. you see the crumbling of everything that she's really worked for. we come back in finishing the sentence, and i know... [ exhales sharply ] ...it is riveting. -yes! -whoo! whoo! roday: we met gary as a bona fide, card-carrying cynic. he contracted a rare form of cancer that men seldom get, and he covered a lot of that pain with snarky humor. doc, the suspense is killing me. is there anything else killing me? and then he met a woman who gave him a reason to fight. you're in. i'm in. and now that maggie is in remission, these two are gonna have to figure out want to eat it as a dip, this is who they are as a couple. now they're going to be experiencing

it. what life is like with normal lives. i'm so dirty, maggie! no. there are about to be some but, of course, it won't be normal, people -- really good. because it's "a million little things." ♪ unbelievably good. >> make sure you watch to the when we met rome, rome was at a breaking point. end of the video. if you hadn't called to tell me about jon, >> that's amazing. i would be dead right now. >> yeah. his friends make up his family. we got you, man. he's got the motorized alligator moving into season 2, rome wants a child badly. -- got the murky water. this could be us. but i don't want this. unfortunately, the agreement that he had made with his wife is that they would never have kids. congratulations. it's moving fast. and rome is headed for a serious roller coaster ride. [ screams ] ♪ it's a rare thing >> oh! to put together a group of human beings >> everyone sees alligator and who know how to treat each other, goes into survival mode. know how to treat a crew. audiences can feel that love within this cast. >> she rolls up on this people, and they just freak out. it makes all the difference in the world. [ screams ] romany malco knows every person on earth. [ laughs ] he's always the one, [ laughter ] like, doing selfies of us all the time. >> this little boy is with his [ laughs ] grace park is probably one of my favorite people mom. he spots it. i've met in a while. james roday is the funniest man i have ever met. mom -- [ scream david giuntoli --

it's a deadlock tie between his eyes and his buns. [ laughter ] >> he he goes again. giuntoli: allison miller -- [ scream ] moms. she's so, like, happy constantly. david giuntoli -- his jawline. christina moses -- vulnerable, human, brilliant. >> all right. >> get out of here! stephanie szostak. joie de vivre. [ bleep ] >> oh, no. i'm following roday. this is what we all do. we follow roday. [ laughter ] ♪ oh-oh, oh, oh moving into season 2... it's gonna be a lot. [ groans ] you got your whole life ahead of you. where would you like to go? >> you thought it was real? everything happens for a reason, guys. dude over here still thinks it's ♪ real. hold on to your hats. it's fake. hold them on tight. it's not a -- he thinks it's not ♪ whoa-oh, oh-oh a joke. he flipped over. "a million little things" will be back on thursdays, right after the longest-running medical drama in tv history, >> whoa. "grey's anatomy." i think my old show "scrubs" was the longest-running medical comedy on tv. >> ah! wow. is that true? i just made it up, but it says it in the teleprompter, [ laughter ] >> yeah. that was pretty good. and who's gonna check those facts? okay. back to facts. i've been a fan of abc and thursdays >> time after time he gets these for a long time. all those tough women? i love it.

folks. a big day on the water. and i can't wait to see what happens on the final season of "how to get away with murder." >> you wait, there will be an viola davis is so good. australian out. she's hella good. that's right. here's a sneak peek. [ suspenseful music plays ] [ laughter ] >> hope you had fun with us today. we appreciate you joining us. oh, my god. check out rightthisminute.com -the fbi. -they know everything. for more entertaining videos, and we'll see you next time on what is going on? consider it a gift that i'm not telling you. an all new "rtm." ♪ [ engine revs, thud ] oh, my god! ♪ laurel! laure-e-e-l! ♪ that looks like television you got to watch. feels like a great year on abc. lots of new shows. [ whispering ] "emergence." [ normal voice ] and some goodbyes to a few favorites. there is so much to watch. mm. i might not leave the house. coming up on "abc's fall preview special," ...6, 7, 8 ♪ a look back at the comedy that changed television -- ♪ "modern family." ♪ a look back at the comedy that changed television --

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listen to this -- 11 seasons, 232 episodes, it won the emmy for best comedy series its first five seasons on the air, it literally helped change how we define family. hannah, ladies and gentlemen, "modern family." [ singing in swahili ] ♪ mitchell: we adopted a baby. exciting! uh, just turn it off. i can't turn it off. it's who i am. the music. oh, yes, the music. [ upbeat music plays ] hah! welcome to your nightmare! [ vocalizing ] we locked our baby in the car, and people are judging us! [ high-pitched ] i'm gonna break it! woman: sir, please tell your wife to relax.

that's a man. really? ♪ here comes treble. i'm julianna. clive bixby. yah! what the hell was that?! luke, i am your father. [ laughs ] that takes me back to the delivery room. [ laughs ] that's what i said to you when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts. oh, my god!