tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 1, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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we'll see you tomorrow. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, joaquin phoenix, elizabeth olsen, and music from lukas nelson and promise of the real. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you very much. very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thanks for coming. please relax. because we've got, there's so much going on. there's too much going on, really. before we get to all of that, we've got some bombshell news this morning. a wave of shock rippled through our nation, shaking our local newscasters from here to as far away to canada to the core. today, this morning, we were hit
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with someone, something no one saw coming. today we learned that october is here. >> can you believe it's october already? >> i can't believe it. >> i can't believe it's october already. >> well, it's hard it to believe, but october is here already. >> we're moving into october already if you can believe it. >> can you believe it's already october? >> it's october, already. >> i don't believe it. >> hard to believe that october is already here. >> october already. >> can you believe it? >> cannot believe it's object already. >> i can't believe it's already october. >> hard to believe it's october already. >> hard to believe it's october. >> hard to believe it's already october. >> can you believe it's october already. >> we're not doing this again. jimmy, don't take this one. jimmy, don't take this one. thanks, kate. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. when someone gives me a gift, i have no choice but to take it. this is hard not to believe. all is not well in the white house right now. the president and his minions
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have been telling everyone that the allegations that have mo morphed into an impeachment year are not true. this is a man who is appointed by donald trump. the inspector put out a statement debunking many of the president's claims, including that the whistle-blower was citing second and third-hand information. to that he said the complainant had expertise. and as far as trump saying almost everything the whistle-blower shade was wrong, the complaint was both urgent and appeared credible. so it was urgent and basically, the ig gave the president an fu is what happened. so the inspector specifically
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says trump and his supporters are wrong. the whistle-blower had first hand information that is credible and urgent. in a normal situation, that would be that. but in this case, we apply the fundamental theory on which the trump presidency is based. the theory of inverse validity, which states that things that are true are false. for example, instead of -- [ applause ] instead of having to worry about climate change, we can say it isn't happening. the wh eather is fine. or if the special counsel says he didn't exonerate you, what do you say? >> it was a complete and total exoneration. >> jimmy: thanks that are false are true. it works in any scenario. let's say you need your
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inauguration crowd to be bigger than it was or a hurricane to hit alabama or to not have paid off a porn star you definitely paid off, just do with trump does, flip it on its head and anything is possible. suddenly, bacon is health food, batman is real and fox news is news. this old theory, this old, outdated theory that two truth the now add up to one false, that's why team trump will keep saying the complaint is based on hearsay, and that's true. it is hearsay, and here's the guy who did the saying, right there. donald jessica trump. now that we know the whistle-blower had direct knowledge that likely means he was listening to the call. the question is, who is the whistle-blower? the president is desperate to find that out so he can then commit even more crimes, but i don't know, how difficult could
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it be to find the guy? it had to be someone who heard the call, someone with knowledge of phone technology, someone maybe who has a history of disloyalty, which, to me, adds up to this guy. the nerd who flipped from verizon to sprint. someone check him for a whistle right now. and just when you thought the situation in ukraine couldn't get any weirder, the president of ukraine met with none other than tom cruise. that's right. tom cruise, visited the president of ukraine yesterday. isn't that the plot of at least three of the six "mission impossible" movies? so now trump is facing a witch hunt and an ethan hunt on top of that. and while this cauldron of poison is burbling, leave it to sarah huckabee sandwich, did i say sandwich? it was a mistake.
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leave it to sarah huckabee sanders to emerge from her cave to put it all in perspective for us. >> the real scandal here is all of the use of the vice president's office that joe biden took part in, helping enrich his family. that's the scandal. president trump shouldn't be getting impeached. he should be getting celebrated for draining the swamp. >> jimmy: right, she's still got it, folks. while one beloved former bs artist is back supporting the president, where in the world is sean ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: well done. john revolta.
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and sean spicer survived another week on "dancing with the stars." i think he will be on dancing in the stars longer than trump will be in the white house. the president has been keeping busy on twitter lately. otherwise he's just tweeting. he congratulated china on the 70th anniversary of the communist regime, which is like wishing bill cosby a happy national coffee day. he's been retweeting schedules. he's completely free until 2:00 p.m. he had an intelligence briefing at 2:00, nothing until 4:00. he met with the secretary of defense, and that's it. guillermo, you have a busier schedule than that. >> that's right, jimmy, yes. >> jimmy: this morning, trump tweeted this map, this totally inaccurate map that says "try to impeach this." i guess someone got ahold of a red sharpie, too. he tweets stuff like this a lot.
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where does he find it, where does it come from? we managed to get in touch with the man who makes all the memes for the president's twitter account. his name is burt pretsy. >> i was just finishing up this beauty. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> it says biden and butt-head. >> jimmy: oh. >> get it? i love it. that old bitch. >> jimmy: that is funny stuff. how did you get this job in the first place? >> how did i get this job? i got it the way they give out most social media jobs. they hire the youngest person in the office. >> jimmy: really? you are the youngest person in the office? >> only by ten months, but what can i say? i'm a meme machine. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> check this one out. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> mitt happens. >> jimmy: uh-huh.
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>> do you get? >> jimmy: yeah, die gi do get i. >> it's because mitt rhymes with a different word. >> jimmy: yes, i know. >> it's [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: yes, that's what i figu figured it was. trump gets an idea for a meme and you make it for him or what? >> that's right. here's one we just on. it it it's rudy giuliani and it says insane in the ukraine. >> jimmy: isn't of giuliani on ju your side? >> you i would this that. this's already been faded by lindsey graham and ted nugent. joim y >> jimmy: you don't think it's wrong for the president to use his platform for child ish jois
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like this? >> no, we use it to masses like this one of hillary clinton in the cat's butt. i wonder if she hid the e-mails in there. insane in the membrane. insane in the membrane. >> jimmy: this is interesting. r. kelly. you know r. kelly, the singer? slash alleged sexual predator? he's asking to be released from jail while he awaits various trials. his lawyer is telling the judge he's not a flight risk even though he spent the entire '90s telling us he believed he could fly. his lawyer is also complaining that r. is only able to visit with one of his two live-in girlfriends at a time. he needs them to be together for their age to add up to 18.
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so -- oh, was that too much? have i gone too [ applause ] i didn't realize this space jam fan club was here tonight. all right, i have now, and now i have something that might actually lift our spirits. this is a video i've watched, i don't know, about a dozen times. i shared it on the show last night. what you are about to see if you haven't already is a high school drummer from gilbert, arizona, who really gives a song his
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that's good stuff, right? so we got in touch with the kid. he's 15 years old. i invited him to sit in with our band, and he's here with us now. please say hello to dylan johnston, everybody. hi, dylan. how are you? welcome. i love the video. [cheers and applause] it's a wonderful video. are you aware of the fact that you're the only good thing in america right now? >> well, um, i think your show's pretty good, too. >> jimmy: well, thank you. that's very nice of you to say. so dalan, what we thought would be fun would be to have you play with the band. i'll tell you who's on the show tonight. music from lukas nelson and promise of the real. elizabeth olson is here and
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well done, dallen. you really bring it for television, too. tonight, from her new facebook show "sorry for your loss" elizabeth olsen is here. [cheers and applause] then the album is called "turn off the news (build a garden)" lukas nelson and promise of the real from the mercedes-benz stage. tomorrow night gwyneth paltrow and chef evan funke will be with us, with music from lunay. our first guest tonight is a golden globe-winning actor with range that goes from johnny cash to jesus. he is back with a new "j" on his resume playing the title role in "joker." it opens in theatres friday. please welcome joaquin phoenix. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for coming.
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>> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: i saw joker last night and i'm now scare of you. i have to say. it really was an amazing, incredible performance. are you proud of it? are you aware of how good it is? >> um. >> jimmy: that's a tough question, right? >> that is a tough question. >> jimmy: you look like a jerk if you say yes, but you're lying if you say no. >> a lot of people don't get it. >> jimmy: you were great. i'll just say that. >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: you look now very muscular. you were so skinny in the movie, and really looked sickly. did you, how much weight did you lose for that? >> oh, i don't know. >> jimmy: a lot, though, right? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah, a little bit. and is that as terrible as i would imagine it to be? having a finite amount of time and people counting on you to lose weight for a movie? >> it is difficult at times. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> but then there's something very empowering about it as
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well. >> jimmy: is there? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. i think just having that level of control of yourself. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> in the beginning, you're exhausted. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> you look at a flight of stairs and it takes 30 seconds, you have to talk yourself into it. i can do this, i know i can do this. but then once you've reached your target weight, i don't know what happens. it's incredible. you suddenly feel energized and excited. >> jimmy: maybe your stomachmach shrivels up to the size of a raisin and you don't want any more food. >> no, you want food. >> jimmy: sometimes i will fast for the day and look at recipes online. and i'll say i need to save that, i need to make that cheeseburger, i got to do this. >> it's tough. because you can't watch tv.
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a commercial comes on for food and [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you start thinking, i'm goin' to the sizzler. >> i'm vegan. so i don't do that. >> jimmy: they've got a lot of chickpeas. >> yeah, it rears its head in weird ways, in dreams. >> jimmy: do you go out to dinner with people and don't eat? >> no, you don't socialize. >> jimmy: you do not socialize? >> no, not at all. people don't realize, our activities revolve around food and drink. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: and explaining to the waiter, i'm not eating, i'm part of a movie, oh, what movie are you doing? i'm doing "joker." and you can't say anything about the movie, right? it's still pretty secret. >> i can. >> jimmy: but you probably shouldn't. >> should we test it? [cheers and applause] see how far we can go?
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>> jimmy: the funny thing is these people cheering right now would be the maddest people. if joaquin were to tell you what happens in the movie right now, people would walk out of here pissed >> maybe not. >> jimmy: give it a go. let's see what happens. [cheers and applause] >> the very last scene. [ laughter ] no, what's fun about this movie is it really keeps you guessing. you don't know what to expect. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so i wouldn't want to ruin that for anybody. like i think it's fun. my sisters, my whole family came to the premiere. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> afterward, we went to my place and my sisters got into a heated decision about what the movie was about, what it meant. they were really engaged in a way that they haven't been with other movies of mine. they haven't seen my other
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movies, but -- [ laughter ] but they wouldn't have been as engaged. >> jimmy: do you answer any of the questions that they have? or you stay out of it. >> no, it's great. >> jimmy: you just like to see it happen. even though i had no role in the movie, i explained it to everyone at work. we had a screening and we were discussing it and i act as if i am the authority. i do have a theory about the end. i can't say because it would ruin it, but i'll tell you during the commercial break my theory. are you a mysterious man, would people find you to be mystere us. >> >> what does that mean? >> jimmy: i feel that we don't know a ton about you personally. is that intentional? >> i don't know a lot about you. >> jimmy: that's just because you don't watch the show. most people tell me they know far too much about me. they would prefer to know a little bit less about me. but i would ask you a couple of very random questions, okay? i think this will be fun for
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you. >> okay, i'm excited. >> jimmy: okay. first movie you ever saw in a theater? >> i don't remember. >> jimmy: you don't remember? wow. >> hold on. i got it. it's right there, it's right there, hold on. no, i have no idea. >> jimmy: really? this was a bad experiment. why don't we take a break. when we come back, we are going to see a clip from the movie and an outtake from the movie that i, i'm curious about. joaquin phoenix is here. "joker" opens friday, we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by s.a.p. the best run s.a.p. ♪ ♪
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aaddiction. how juuline hooked kids and ignited an public health crisis." other news outlets report- juul took $12.8 billion from big tobacco. markets e-cigarettes with kid friendly flavors and uses nicotine to addict them. 5 million kids use e-cigarettes. juul is "following big tobacco's playbook." and now, juul is pushing prop c to overturn e-cigarette protections. vote no on juul. no on big tobacco. no on prop c.
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>> jimmy: that is joaqu phoenix in "joker" which opens on friday. and this is a weird thing to say, maybe, but your dancing in the movie is very good. you're good dancer. [cheers and applause] >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: training for the dancing? or was that all just coming from inside? >> yeah, there were two sequences. i worked with this choreographer named michael arnold who worked on the sequence with the steps and the sequence where i'm the clown, we worked on those, but that piece was something that really was a reaction to the score todd had just received that bit of score from the composer. and we were just trying to figure out what to do with that scene, and he started playing me that music, and we just decided that it, we wanted something that was just um, illustrated this transformation into joker that was nonverbal, and that's what we came up with.
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>> jimmy: is that typically how it goes? you have the score before you're finished shooting the film? >> no. i think sometimes -- i don't really know, but that was the first time i think that i'm aware of where i was so influenced bit score. >> jimmy: did you dance as a kid? do you have any dance background? >> yeah. i don't want to brag, but, i was really good. >> jimmy: were you a good dancer? were you known as a good dancer? >> not nationally. [ laughter ] >> southern california. >> jimmy: among your circle, what kind of dancing did you do? >> you name it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, but i mean, probably my forte was break dancing. >> jimmy: break dancing, really? [cheers and applause] are you talking popping and locking, spinning? >> yeah. >> jimmy: everything? would you do it out on the street for people to see?
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>> sometimes, but it was more personal. >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah, i like to keep it for myself as a something inside. >> jimmy: you and a piece of cardboard in your room. >> you're making fun of it, but it was serious for me. >> jimmy: this movie, is it a, it seemed grueling in some ways. joker's laughing a lot. and not in a fun way. more like in a robert de niro in "cape fear" kind of way. did it just seem unpleasant to do? was that the case? >> no. >> jimmy: you had fun making the movie? >> yeah. i did. it was a light set, you know. todd, you know todd. >> jimmy: todd phillips is the director. >> really funny, and, yeah, i feel almost guilty, but we had a
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real l really good time. >> jimmy: it's interesting that you say that, because todd septembsent me an outtake reel. tell me what was happening here. >> the constant whispering, just shut the [ bleep ] up. i'm trying to find something real. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. sorry, [ bleep ]. it's not a big deal. it's not a big deal. yeah. it is. [ bleep ]. i know you started [ bleep ] everything, larry. [ bleep ]. making fun of me. [ bleep ]. it's not even an insult. really? how's that a [ bleep ]ing insult? [ bleep ] i can't do this, man. >> jimmy: what happened there. who's larry? >> um. [ laughter ] um, yeah, larry is the
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cinematographer. this is so embarrassing. >> jimmy: and did he call you cher? >> uh, yeah. look, sometimes, sometimes movies get intense, because there are a lot of people in a small space and you're trying to find something. so it request feel intense, but um, that was supposed to be private. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i'm a little embarrassed. i'm, i'm sorry about that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> sorry you guys had to see that. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i believe larry. >> no, it's not larry's fault. >> jimmy: it's totally larry's fault, and cher's fault in a way, you know? cher does have some of the burden to take for this. >> sure. well, let me think about this a bit more. >> jimmy: okay, you do that. >> my publicist will issue a formal statement tomorrow. >> jimmy: okay, that's a good idea. >> yeah, can we move on? >> jimmy: yeah, it's over now, so if you want to go call larry,
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we can do it. >> well, i should probably publicly apologize to larry. >> jimmy: yeah, you probably should. >> larry? i'm, the thing is, though, [ laughter ] i am sorry, but he did whisper, like constantly while we're trying to work. and sometimes it's really hard to find the emotion that you're avenu after, so it was wrong of me, but he shouldn't have done it. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: joaquin phoenix! "joker" opens in theatres friday. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ i have moderate to severe pnow, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer, yeah i feel free ♪
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what's wrong, guillermo? >> i had a terrible day. first i got stuck in my parking spot, and i spilled coffee on myself. then the coffee machine broke. it was not my fault. then everybody got doughnuts except me. this needs to change here. i want to tell people how i feel. >> maybe you could if the show used s.a.p. >> a.s.a. what? >> they are able to provide the best experience possible. >> wow. that's a great idea, therapist. thank you! i had the best day ever. now what we started using s.a.p., people know not to park close to me. wow! they fixed the copy machine, and they got doughnuts for everybody! it is all thanks to you.
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>> jimmy: you know our next guest from three "avengers", two "captain americas" and one enormous "godzilla." her series "sorry for your loss" is on facebook watch. please say hello to elizabeth olsen. ♪ >> that's so fun to watch. >> jimmy: you're having fun, right, dallen? >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: do you like being part of a small band? >> sure. >> jimmy: i haven't seen you since thanos snapped his terrible fingers.
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>> yes, i saw you, though, since then. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> so i was here with three other people. and, you know you don't get a lot of face time. and i feel like we don't know each other that well. and i saw you. i was in seattle. it was in april. i don't know if you live there, i don't want to reveal anything about you. >> jimmy: i was there interviewing michelle obama, i was in seattle for the day. >> i was doing tourist things going to pike something. >> jimmy: pike place market. >> and i was trying to find lunch and there was this little french bistro i wanted to try out. and it was really small and narrow, and i was looking at the window on the glass, and you were right there. >> jimmy: oh. >> and i have really bad social anxiety, like here. and outside of work. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> seeing work people in their private life. and i felt really weird sitting through a meal, not knowing if i should say hi to you.
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or not. and so i just went to a different restaurant. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. that is very strange. >> but, do you like it when people, like, because you see so many people all the time. like i don't, i don't know -- >> jimmy: of course. >> well, but really? >> jimmy: well, i mean, you know, yeah. if you came up and said hello, of course, you know. as long as people aren't drunk, i'm fine with anybody, really. were you drunk? >> no, lunch. >> jimmy: no problem. >> lunch in seattle. >> jimmy: i'm sorry i scared you away. as i recall, it was a very good lunch. >> yeah, it looked like a really great restaurant. but you were with a couple women, i was assuming your wife. no. [ crowd reacts ] >> no, i want to do what joaquin does. >> jimmy: i wasn't with a couple
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of women, i was with my wife. the other woman was probably the waitress. did she have a pad in her hand? >> maybe. >> jimmy: maybe, yeah. next time, please, don't hesitate. now i want to, i know you get asked about this marvel stuff all the time. i love this stuff, and i know you've got your own show coming to disney plus. >> yes. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: and this is, i know you can't say too much about what's happening, but this is the concept art which kind of looks like a '50s sitcom, leave it to beaver kind of thing except for up in the corner we see scarlett witch. you notice an imaginary woman having lunch with me, but you didn't see that. >> no. >> jimmy: wow, how about that. can you say anything about her? have you seen scripts or anything? >> i actually have no idea what
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i'm allowed to say. >> jimmy: okay. then just spill it. say it all. >> we haven't even started, i don't even know what i'm supposed to start, if i'm supposed to start or not start, i don't know what they want us to say, but when i found out about it, they had paul and i come in at different times into his office, and it felt like being called into the principal's office. >> jimmy: kevin runs all these marvel movies, and paul, your co-star. >> yeah, sorry. >> jimmy: so he had you guys come in and were you worried? >> separately. he was worried that he was getting fired. but paul's good at telling stories, so i don't know how accurate that is, but for me, i thought i got in trouble for saying something about "infinite war." and it's kind of his creation, the show, an idea he conceived. >> jimmy: if he conceived it, it's going to be good. >> it's pretty great.
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>> jimmy: you knee lot aboow a it. you have this show, on facebook watch, "sorry for your loss." there are no super heros in this. >> no. >> jimmy: explain the basic idea. >> i play a young widow, and it's the experience she has post her husband's death and the experience that the people around her also have with his passing. >> jimmy: which is a bit of a mystery. >> yes. yes. there's a mystery of if he, by the end of the first season you ask, did he kill himself, or was it an accident. >> jimmy: right. >> and that's really supposed to be something that we explore throughout the second season and tackling that a bit more, but there is a lot of levity to the show, a show about grief and how we don't like talk beiing about. it's a really beautifully-done show, i would like to say. >> jimmy: well, yeah. you're executive producer of the
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show as well. >> i am. >> jimmy: is that fun being part of the process as well? >> it's really fun. it's really exhausting to a whole new level. and i've enjoyed it. it's just been a crash course from like the pitch process to the color correction and editing process. >> jimmy: all of that stuff. >> yeah, it's been incredible. it's been a lot of learning, and i have 1001 opinions. >> jimmy: and they have to listen to them. exactly. it's great to see you. >> jimmy: elizabeth olsen! new episodes of "sorry for your loss" premiere every tuesday on facebook watch. and we'll return with music from lukas nelson and promise of the real. ♪ ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by the 2020 g-class, mercedes benz,
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matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, this is their album "turn off the news (build a garden)." here with the title track, lukas nelson and the promise of the real! ♪ ♪ i believe that every heart is kind some are just a little underused ♪ ♪ hatred is a symptom of the times lost in these uneducated blues ♪
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♪ i just want to love you while i can all these other thoughts have me confused ♪ ♪ i don't need to try and understand maybe i'll get up turn off the news ♪ ♪ turn off the news and build a garden just my neighborhood and me we might feel a ♪ ♪ bit less hardened we might feel a bit more free turn off the news ♪ ♪ and raise your kids give them something to believe in teach them how ♪ give them hope that they can see
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bit more free turn off the news ♪ ♪ and raise your kids give them something to believe in teach them how to ♪ ♪ be good people give them hope that they can see hope that they can see ♪ ♪ turn off the news and build a garden with me turn off the news and build a garden with me ♪ ♪ >>y'all. [cheers and applause] thank you very much.
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this is "nightline." tonight, guilty of murder, in the hot seat. >> we the jury unanimously find the defendant, amber guyger guilty of murder. >> the loved ones' reaction to the verdict as the former police officer is convict ted of killi a man in his own home. now a signal of hope for the black community, torn apart by the loss of loved ones by police. plus, punk pioneer. ♪ heart of glass >> unlocking the heart of glass of blondie's lead singer, debbie harry, dominating the stage wit"
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