on jimmy kimmel live big lineup. cumberbatch, kelly ripa, david byrne. >> that's a big lineup. enjoy. we'll see you again tomorrow. >> dicky: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- benedict cumberbatch. kelly ripa. plus music from david byrne and the brooklyn youth chorus. presented by miller lite. with cleto and the cletones. and now, in your face and in your heart, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and ♪ >> jimmy: thank you.

thank you. very nice. hi, everyone. thanks, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching at home. thanks for coming. we are coming to you from the opera house at bam in brooklyn, new york. please relax. we're here all week. we're here for slightly less time than felicity huffman will be in prison. last night after the show i was walking over to barclay's with alisha key. they had a concert over there, and i saw a rat the size of a toddler, debt ad in the street. i picked it up, held it right above my head and turned to alicia keys and said welcome to arby's, may i take your order? did you watch the jets last night? watching the jets try to run on

the patriots was like watching bill de blasio run for president. [cheers and applause] thank you. the jets, as you know, lost to the patriots, 33-0. many jets fans say it was their finest performance in many years. by the way, how do you like our set? this is our beautiful set. [cheers and applause] they worked very hard on it. it's a train station. this is is the only, it's the only place in new york where the trains run on time. and the subway, as you guys know, is a dirty, horrible disease-ridden, grime and vermin infested place. the closest thing we have to it in l.a. is the hot tub on "the bachelor." but the union in charge of cleaning the subway up is having a contest, offering a cash prize to whom ever can find and photograph the filthiest spot. >> with the possibility of winning $500, you can enter what

is billed as a photo contest. transit union local 100 wants to see what amounts to the trashiest subway cars that riders encounter. >> why would they have a contest? why don't they just clean it up? >> jimmy: quite a question. and, as for this contest, let me see if i have this contest straight. all i have to do to win $500 is take a dump on the a-train and shoot wha picture of it. good contest there, guys. speaking of contests, i want to introduce you, where's guillermo? please, bring out guillermo, will you? guillermo? ♪

okay. ♪ hi, guys, how you doin'? you all right, guillermo? all right, there he is. thank you, so guillermo, come over here for a second. thanks, guys, thank you for bringing him out. >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: you were scared, weren't you you know how you can tell he's pretend smiling? he goes like this. >> you know i'm scared of heights. >> jimmy: when i was a kid before we knew each other i wanted to be an artist. i wanted to draw comics and c h cartoons. that didn't come to pass obviously, since we are in new york i thought it would be fun to see if i could get and you could get a cartoon published in "the new yorker." we came up with some ideas and

some pitches. and we went to the new yorker magazine ♪ >> jimmy: good luck. >> you too. >> hi. we're ready to see you. come this way. >> jimmy: thank you. >> you're welcome. >> hi, welcome guys. >> i'm guillermo, nice meeting you. >> jimmy: hi. >> i'm guillermo. >> jimmy: we're the new t cartoonists. we would love to be published in "the new yorker." tell us about the process. >> each week i get about a thousand submissions. >> that's a lot. >> yeah, and then i whittle that down to about 50 or 60, and i show those to d remick, the editor. and at the end of the day we buy about 15 or 20 for the week.

>> jimmy: does he ever start laughing hysterically, like he can't believe how funny one of them was? >> to get numb looking at a lot of cartoons. >> jimmy: does he ever come in drunk? >> no. he has never -- >> jimmy: sometimes it will help if people will have a couple. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so we've been working on some stuff. these aren't fully-realized drawings, some sketches that we made. be honest, as if we came in off the street. >> theis is jesus eating ra chicken leg. >> where to begin here. have you seen "the new yorker" cartoons? can you convey in the art that this is jesus eating a chicken leg and somehow add an element that makes it a joke that's more than just jesus eating a chicken leg but has some sort of rye

commentary. >> jimmy: so we need a caption for that one. >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: hmm, maybe the second-to-last supper? >> maybe, yeah. >> you should write it so you don't forget. >> how do you write? >> jimmy: s-u-p-p-e-r. like "super" with an extra "p." these are two people at an airline counter. >> so here's one, in terms of parallel in comedy, which i'm sure is something you think about all the time. >> jimmy: in order someone did this before? >> so many comfort, emotional support animals. >> jimmy: have you had one where the animal thinks the human is his? >> i see that added element. >> jimmy: that's whole thing. >> no, okay. you've convinced me. this is the power of in-person pitch sessions. >> this one, the friendly donkey. >> so i think the friendly donkey, there's a lot going for him. i don't know that it's a

cartoon. [ laughter ] maybe -- >> jimmy: there is nothing less-friendly than a donkey. >> no. so this is supposed to be king kong. >> yeah, i think you're assembling a cast of compelling, surprising characters. >> jimmy: you're building a world. >> yeah. >> jimmy: guillermo mentioned king kong. i have a king kong one. >> jerry, it's 2019, i can't go around grabbing women anymore. hmm. timely. >> that's a little -- >> jimmy: it's king kong, and his name is jerry. >> i like the name jerry. >> jimmy: here's like a lj joke. >> ooh, i like this a lot. i like that you have the ability to have the millennial have every single detail about him. >> jimmy: these are rough details. i'm very, very busy. >> i like it's not just a line.

you're definitely starting to do more than illustrate the joke. we'll put it in the maybe. >> jimmy: here's one. >> the bad news is, i'm not a dentist. i currently have a moratorium on buying bad-dentist cartoons, because my soon-to-be mother-in-law is a dentist. >> jimmy: i don't know why your personal life should have influence. >> this is the power i wield. >> this is my mother-in-law. she's always angry. >> i think sometimes kwcartoonis get their revenge on foes when they draw them. >> jimmy: i would say the drawing is top-notch. >> you have this be a caption. my mother-in-law's always angry, and what you have is a man or woman who is speaking this line to a friend. >> jimmy: how about if there were two godzilla people. >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: but they looked very friendly and wholesome.

and outside the window we see godzilla rampaging in the city, and are you like, oh, my mother-in-law is always angry >> that would be the best thing for me. >> we have some strong contenders. >> jimmy: we'll get to work on this. and then you will decide. >> yep. >> jimmy: officially, one way or the other, whether we get into "the new yorker." so now, i will go literally to the drawing board and come up with something that i hope is judged to be strong enough to be in "the new yorker." yorker." y" let's go. >> let's go. >> jimmy: all right, and now to judge me, to decide my fate from "the new yorker" magazine, please welcome emma allen and editor, david remnick.

appreciate it. this is, their is is a big mome and i have the final drawing. you've seen it already, you've evaluated it. i will now show it to our audience, and here is the final drawing. okay. there it is. have we described, emma, i thought this was maybe your favorite, so this is the one i went with. what is your final decision? your verdict, please? >> jimmy, i'm sorry, it didn't work out. didn't work out. >> jimmy: what didn't work out? >> well, i mean, of the thousand-plus cartoons i reviewed that week, this just wasn't one of the 20 funniest. >> jimmy: so next week it will be in the magazine then? or what? >> i welcome you to continue to submit. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i'll spend my whole life writing stupid cartoons for you guys. oh, my god, this is

embarrassing. i'm humiliated. and not only am i humiliated, i'm humiliated in front of my hometown. what am i supposed to tell everyone at my victory party now? look at this. guys, put the cork back in the champagne! they didn't like it! this might be the lowest moment of my whole life. ♪ gosh, for this to happen here in front of you, i'm so sorry that you guys had to even see this. it's, i got to tell you something. this is a real punch in the old nuts. what am i going to do now? i guess i'm never going to be a comic book artist or cartoonist or any of that stuff i've been rejected by new yorker magazine. >> you pick those nuts up off the ground! [cheers and applause] >> you pick those nuts up off the ground. you pick'em up! pick those nuts up.

come here, come here, buddy. come here! [cheers and applause] hey. >> jimmy: my gosh. >> you don't, you don't let this get you down. you pick those nuts up, and you put them back in your pocket. >> jimmy: jon, what are you doing here? >> i'm your guardian angel, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you really? >> no, i not. i live under the stage, but i want to tell you, you don't get down. this is just a cartoon. you don't need this. don't worry about it. >> jimmy: it's easy for you to say. but my whole life has been leading up to this, and now everything sucks because of those two [ bleep ]. >> i know! >> jimmy: this is awful. just bad. >> you have overcome bigger obstacles. remember when we first met? >> jimmy: mm-hm. >> you were a local producer of radio spots. you were living out of a van. hundred ju you had just been let out of a sexual offender work-release

program, and now look at you. you've got a whole show here with people who love you. [cheers and applae] >> jimmy: still, though, you know. >> i cannot stand to see my friend, my effervescent, my talented friend, my sweet, sweet jimmy be upset about this too big magazine! where half of it is [ bleep ] in italics. what is that? half the magazine's in italics. half the magazine is emphasized. >> jimmy: you're right. it is. >> you don't need them. you don't need them, jimmy kimmel. america needs you, this audience needs you. brooklyn needs you, jimmy. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thank you, jon. >> you got to remember, jimmy kimmel.

as you look out in the audience, you got to understand, benedict cumberbatch isn't going to interview himself, jimmy kimmel. it's not going to happen. [cheers and applause] >> um. i kind of know the gamut. i would interview myself. i ndf know where the thing goes. >> jimmy: cumber batch! >> sorry. >> jimmy: i think you're right. i mean. >> just be magnificent. >> jimmy: he does smell nice. >> like oolong tea. >> jimmy: you don't expect it from a european. >> you don't. >> jimmy: it's like flowers, like a bouquet was just delivered to us. >> i want you back out there. i want you to give these people the best [ bleep ] kelly ripa

interview they've ever seen in their lives. get out there! oh, by the way, one more thing. i almost forgot. just a little thing. i was actually able to get your cartoon published somewhere where it's going to be a published by a place seen by a lot more people. have you ever heard of a little place called times square? >> jimmy: yes. what? what? wow! next to the "black-ish" promo? they love it! they love it! they love it! "the new yorker" was wrong! >> they love it. they almost love it too much. [ laughter ] >> but they love it, and these two, shouldn't you two be at some cocktail party, pretending you know what's going on? >> jimmy: yeah, get outtahere,

get off of my set! the toilet again!than you, jon right. we're going to have a great store without them. kelly ripa is here! david byrne and the brooklyn youth chorus is here! jon stewart is leaving! and we'll be right back with benedict cumberbatch.

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"david byrne's american utopia." david byrne and the brooklyn youth chorus from the tidal stage. tomorrow night, senator bernie sanders will be here, ellie kemper will join us and we'll have music from the national. and later this week, eddie murphy, john krasinski, the sugarhill gang, and who knows what else? maybe something very, very big. oh, speaking of something very big, brooklyn's own apple hills creamery, which makes great ice cream, has honored me with my own flavor of ice cream. this my real favorite -- banana ice cream, dark chocolate shards, and fox's ubet chocolate syrup. have you had this yet, guillermo? >> no, jimmy. >> jimmy: it is wonderful. it's called "jimmy's bananas in brooklyn." at long last, i can literally eat myself to death. it is available for one week starting tomorrow at all ample hills stores in brooklyn, manhattan, and queens. so thanks to the folks at ample hills.

if you get a chance, eat okay? our first guest is an oscar-nominated actor, physician, and sorcerer of the super type. next, he plays thomas edison in "the current war: director's cut." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome benedict cumberbatch. [cheers and applause] ♪ how you doin'? it's gra it's great to see you. >> i'm oddly nervous, i feel like we're doing a play. >> jimmy: we are doing a play. neither one of us have raid tea lines and it's going to be a big mess. when was your first time? new york? >> i was about 14.

i was the token brit among the american friends who have british parents. >> jimmy: where were you? in the city? >> i was in the city. and we would shop for rollerblades which i was all into. i used to skateboard. >> jimmy: the roller blading is what really stuck in my mind. they didn't have those in england? >> uh, i don't know. you guys always are ahead of outdoor pursuits. >> jimmy: we appreciate it. yeah. >> not in everything, jimmy, just in outdoor pursuits. they were definitely cheaper here. the power was strong. >> jimmy: you were here to do discount shopping. >> i was here to get a good deal. you know brits. i had an amazing time. >> jimmy: you had an amazing time at 14 years old, what's an amazing time? >> t family rented a place on fire island. one half of it was fishing and

the other half was a gay community, odd connctions. but i just had a ball knocking around the sand dunes and skin boarding, and, yeah. >> jimmy: doing american stuff. >> goofing about being with american kids. >> jimmy: were you drinking and stuff at that age? a little bit snab maybe? >> i think my mom's in wed. >> jimmy: between dr. strange and sherlock holmes, i think you have a very rabid fan base. >> i think possibly true. >> jimmy: how are the fans in the united states different compared to those in edngland? >> not much anymore. there's a huge enthusiasm for both things. you guys maid a lot of noise just now. that's strur that's extraordinary. >> jimmy: that doesn't happen there? >> it's not a competition.

i wouldn't want to side on one side or the other, but we've become more vocal as an audience. we just don't go "well done." there's a more involved rowdiness. >> jimmy: does your wife, does she ever say to you when you tell her something, because if i were your wife. >> if you were. >> jimmy: if we were on fire island together, living on fire island. >> living in secret on the wasp side or on the gay side? >> jimmy: on the border. exchanging -- >> literally, it's like a chicken fence. from my memory. >> jimmy: but if i was your wife, every time you told me something i already knew, i'd say no [ bleep ], sherlock. does that happen to you? or is that just me? is that a phrase over in edge sfla england? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: i was impressed by your thomas edison.

>> i need to hear it. is that brooklyn? >> jimmy: that's pretty close. i presented out a yelp review of defora pizza. it's a very famous pizza place in brooklyn, and i was wondering if you would attempt to read it in a brooklyn accent. if you want to scan it you can. >> the pie was a masterpiece. [cheers and applause] the crust was thin, but not too thin. with the perfect balance of cheese and sauce. basil was gaurn is gaurn ish g i >> jimmy: we got to go back. it's basil. >> basil was garnished on top, the highlight of the pie. how could basil be the highlight

of a pie? >> jimmy: it shouldn't be. >> oh, lordy. in my humble opinion, this is a classic slice. you an artichoke, pine nuts, get the [ bleep ] out of here! [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] exclamation mark. you're wasting space in the line. >> jimmy: very well done! i think you've got brooklyn approval. benedict cumberbatch, we'll be right back! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by miller lite. here's to the original social media. here's to the original light beer. it's miller time. switching to boost mobile gave me so much more, and i gotta say, i like more. switch and get 4 lines for $25 per line per month, with unlimited gigs, plus 4 free lg stylo™ 5 phones, all on our super reliable, super fast nationwide network.

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how did he get involved? >> what a roaring silence from the minds of america. >> he's using hiram's design. >> which hiram stole from me! sue him. >> we already did. the court upheld his patents. >> i'm talking about westinghouse, find an angle. >> take the barrington. >> not again.

i built the system here. you go shopping for patents and cobble together something that is legally mine. if the bulbs are a battle, nail him on the dynamos. >> jimmy: that is benedict cumberbatch and spiderman. it's fun seeing you and tom holland. >> and the beast. >> jimmy: and the beast as well. >> the glassware that was crashing were. >> jimmy: it's a real super movie. tom holland's character is a real person. >> slightly amalgamated, but yeah. >> jimmy: how do you figure out how to play thomas edison, someone we figure we know everything about. >> the human behind. >> jimmy: there is a script? >> there is a script. >> jimmy: that's good. >> yeah. no, there is a script, and it's a beautiful one. i fell in love with the challenge of it, bringing an

american icon to life is a big ask for a british actor, so excuse me for trying in the first place. i love a challenge. the very difficult part of his life. he was a fascinating man, surfed a l suffered a lot of difficulties. wasn't interested in money. more about the the inventor. >> jimmy: some of the industrialists weren't such nice guys. >> well, it's an interesting thing. i think in the movie he's incredibly defensive. he alienates himself. because of his hearing he chose not to hear some things. some reached out to be a friend,

george westinghouse played by the brilliant michael shannon who's especially brilliant in this. he took his light bulb to the masses with his alternating current system. edison thought it was a trick. we're seeing all the tricks we see demagogues using now, as fe fear. >> jimmy: one of our leaders is very focussed on light bulbs lately. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: you'll see what i'm talking about. the movie is "the current opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back with kelly ripa.

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>> jimmy: welcome back.

kelly ripa and music from david byrne and the brooklyn youth chorus is on the way. but first, social media is great. but you know what's even greater? seeing your friends in real life. it's time to put down our phones and connect like we used to. some might even say, it's miller time. >> hey, guys, what's up? >> nada. >> what's up with you? >> livin' my best life. >> rtfl. >> you're 100% not rtflin'. >> how do you know? lol? >> because we can see you. come on, guys, this is stupid. let's put our phones down and get out of here. >> yeah! >> hey, guys, what's up? >> nada. what's up with you? >> living my best life. rotfl. >> lol? >> we can see you're not laughin' out loud. >> fine, you guys got me. i was just

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♪ >> jimmy: hey, now, still to come, david byrne. seven years ago, our next guest helped launch our first-ever week in brooklyn, and she is back to light this room up again. watch her every morning on "live with kelly and ryan." please welcome kelly ripa. [cheers and ♪ >> jimmy: it's great to see you. >> wow. >> jimmy: i was your guest yesterday. now look at this, now you are mine. >> it was very exciting.

i was hoping to see aunt chippy backstage. >> jimmy: just look for the puff of marlborough smoke. >> don't make fun of the blouse, your mother pirkcked it out. >> i can't get enough of it. they're great. >> jimmy: your son lives in brooklyn. >> yeah, yeah. in bushwick. >> jimmy: how's that going for him? does he like it? >> i think he loves the freedom. he hays paying his own rent, and he is chronically poor. >> jimmy: mm-hm. yeah. >> i don't think he ever experienced, uh, you know, extreme poverty like now. >> jimmy: of course, when would he have. >> my parents for years always give my kids for halloween, they mail them an envelope with $20 in it. for years, i'm like, mom, dad, you don't have to do that, they don't appreciate it, don't worry about it. for years my kids ignored the $20. and mark and i would say, when

we were kids, $20 would take you through weeks and weeks of life, know what i mean? >> jimmy: especially for halloween. who gets money on halloween? >> 100%. now he's living on his own. he's called a hundred times, has the halloween envelope arrived? just so he can have electricity. >> jimmy: so he's really. >> yeah, he's experiencing being an adult. >> jimmy: and your daughter just went to college. >> she just went to college. >> jimmy: nyu. >> nyu, yeah. you can applaud. she, so they boeptoeptoeptoeptot when he left his freshman year i was very concerned. i didn't think the kids should live in the city where they grew up. i thought they needed an experience. go to california, texas, midwest, big campus. they were both of them adamant for different reasons why they wanted to go to nyu.

so i said, well, then, you're going to be like other kids and come home when it's regular visiting hours, like thanksgiving, christmas, that's it. i, your dad and i need to rediscover each other. so michael, we drop him off, freshman year, drop him off at his dorm. we have lunch together. we look at each other. we say, we did it. we have a child in college. we did it. oh, my gosh. we come home, it's about ten minutes away. we come home, walk through the front door. he is standing in the hallway. i go, what are you doing here? he goes, i thought i'd spend the weekend here with you guys. i go, no. no, no. you live in college and you need to meet your friends. >> jimmy: wow. >> my ut dadaughter says the

opposite. you don't even need to drop me off. she jumped out of a moving cab when we took her to the dorm. you won't see me. i won't be back. you don't have to worry. maybe i'll come home for thanksgiving. maybe i won't. maybe i'll do other things. so we drop her off on a saturday. it is the end of summer vacation. so we go back out to long island for the rest of the summer. drop her off on a saturday. sunday evening our alarm trips. my daughter's having a party on the roof of our house. she was gone 12 hours. and came home. >> jimmy: it sounds like maybe you need to send your youngest son to kansas or something. >> he's not even allowed to apply to nyu. he's not allowed to apply within the tri state area. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about this halloween show you do every year. >> yes. >> jimmy: you put so much work into the show. whenever i turn it on and watch, it's become a big thing for you guys, wow, it looks like a big

pain in the ass. >> it is the biggest pain in the ass. >> jimmy: you're in how many different costumes? >> depends on the year, this year i think we're in about 40 different costumes. we tape it for the entire month and we somehow have to tape a live show on thursday. you think we tape so much the entire show is on tape. but we open live and close live. we use the middle segments to change our costumes, basically. but what's amazing, several of my producers are here watching this show. >> jimmy: right. >> and i'm thinking, you need to be at the studio, preparing for tomorrow's halloween segments. >> jimmy: one would think, yeah. right. >> but it is kind of like, i find us every year trying to one-up ourselves. >> jimmy: mm-hm. >> and i knew last week we had, i don't want to use jump the shark. we were on horses. but we on horses in the middle of the nor'easter. branches are breaking off of

trees. the horses are startling. and the woman looks at us and says usually we have a month with the actors before we butt them put them on the animals. and i'm like, we're not actors. the entire network collapses. all they have left is you and me. >> jimmy: it's a lot of fun to watch every halloween. >> thank you. you know what's great. >> this show is great. you heren brooklyn. fabulous. >> jimmy: it's a special thing for us. >> you know i watch you every night. >> jimmy: thank you, i appreciate it. i love having you here. kelly ripa! "live with kelly and ryan" airs weekdays in syndication. and we'll return with music from david byrne and the brooklyn youth chorus. ♪

>> dicky: tonight's music on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by tidal music streaming. celebrate music week at tidal.com/streaming and get your 60-day free trial. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank jon stewart, benedict cumberbatch, and kelly ripa. apologies to matt damon.

ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, his broadway musical is called "american utopia." here with the song "one fine day" with some help from mauro refosco and the brooklyn youth chorus, david byrne! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ saw the wandrin' eye inside my heart shouts and battle cries from ev'ry part ♪ ♪ i can see those tears ev'ry one is true when the door appears i'll go right through ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ♪ ♪ in a small, dark room, ♪ where i will wait

♪ face-to-face ♪ i find i contemplate ♪ even though i a man is made of clay ev'rything can change that one fine ♪ ♪ one fine day one fine day one fine day ♪ ♪ then before my eyes is standing still i beheld it there a city on a hill ♪ ♪ i complete my tasks one by one i remove my masks when i am done ♪ ♪ then a piece of mind fell over me in these troubled times i still can see ♪

to guide the way stars it is not that far one fine ♪ ♪ one fine day one fine day one fine day ♪ hope ooh ooh ooh ooh hope i have hope ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh hope i have hope ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ hope i have hope ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

this is "nightline." tonight, fame running in the family. drugs running through his veins. >> shot cocaine into your neck? >> yes. >> now, an exclusive diane sawyer interview, the son of the douglas dynasty coming clean. >> was it prison that turned you around? >> confronting demons, nearly tearing his family apart. >> it was just tough to see, you know, you go down that road. "n this special edition of