>> he will be here in short order when the rain arrives i guess. that is our report from drew teama, all of us here, i'm dan ashley. merry christmas to >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jack black, comedian michelle wolf, and music from allen stone. and now, please hold on, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for everything really. [ cheers and applause ] that's very nice. i appreciate it. hope you had a good weekend. i had a good weekend. we did a lot of stuff this weekend. but i have to say, even though i was having a perfectly good time this weekend at one point i wished i could come in to work and go straight onto the air because donald trump -- you know that guy? okay.

our president donald jumanji trump said something on friday that might top off all the things he said. the best words, stable genius, covfefe, all of them may pale compared to what he shared on friday at the white house's small business round table event. >> we have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers. and other elements of bathrooms. [ laughter ] where you turn the faucet on and in areas where there's tremendous amounts of water where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it. and you don't get any water. you turn on the faucet and you don't get any water. they take a shower and water comes dripping out. it's dripping out very quietly dripping out. [ laughter ] people are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 15 times? what are you eating? [ laughter ] the only time you flush a toilet 15 times is if the d.e.a. is

banging on your door and you have a kilo of cocaine up you. that's not normal. he instructed the head of the epa to look into this. can you imagine? you're the head of the environmental protection agency. you get a call from the president complaining about the water pressure in his toilet. this is like if he called the department of agriculture to have them replace a divot on his golf course. it's nuts. but apparently this is a big issue for anti-regulation conservatives, and trump is embracing it. he even has a new campaign slogan. drain the toilet. [ laughter ] which now that the swamp is empty why not? i think it's important for us to remember we may never see anything like this ever again. but the president spent much of the weekend this weekend draining his cell phone. he tweeted 105 times yesterday. that's more than he flushed this weekend. okay? [ laughter ] he tweeted, he retweeted, and he retweeted himself. i almost feel bad for his supporters. they had to spend the whole day tapping like, like, like, like, like.

and not only did he retweet, he reretweeted this piece of work. this photograph of his head on sylvester stallone's body. do you think he knows that isn't him? do you think maybe he's so out of it he thinks he posed for this picture? [ laughter ] trump's week is off to a rocky start too. there was more testimony in the house today as we heard from lawyers for the left and right who laid out their arguments for and against impeachment. the attorney for the republicans, this guy steve castor, he was the sad-looking gentleman from the hearings a couple weeks ago. he showed up. is it a good sign when your lawyer's briefcase is a grocery sack? [ laughter ] i was hoping it was full of -- he had notebooks in there and a lot of incriminating kale chips. republicans tried to muck things up from the get-go. they stopped the chairman of the house judiciary committee jerry nadler a thousand times. the first time within seconds of his opening remarks. >> the house committee on the judiciary will come to order. without objection the chair's

authorized to declare recesses of the committee -- >> object. >> objection noted. >> jimmy: we're off to a flying stop. that's how the whole thing went. the republicans -- they don't really have a defense. the plan is to lay down as many speed bumps as possible. the strategy was to run out the clock with point of order after point of order. >> point of order. >> you made a ruling on the point of order. >> you made a ruling on the point of order, mr. chairman. >> the gentleman from georgia -- >> point of order. >> point of order. >> mr. chairman, you have to recognize -- >> the gentleman will state his point of order. >> mr. chairman, my point of order is this. in the previous point of order you ruled against his point of order. >> will you let him finish his point of order, please? >> make his point of order. >> my point of order is that you were out of order in your ruling. >> i made a point of order and you won't rule on it. >> i have not heard a point of order. >> chairman, point of order. >> state your point of order. >> the point of order is this. >> that is a point of order. >> that is not a point of order.

>> that is not a point of order. the committee is in order. >> well, would you rule on my original point of order? >> that is not a point of order. >> it is a point of order. >> it's not a point of order. [ speaking simultaneously ] >> point of order. >> point of order. >> that's my point of order. he should not be up here. >> it's not a point of order. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this whole court is point of order! it was quite a day today. and with all this acrimony going back and forth between the parties the white house shockingly reached a deal with house democrats. it has nothing to do with impeachment. that's happening. the deal is that trump will get to create his space force and in exchange the democrats get new parental leave benefits for federal workers. it's exciting. now federal employees will be able to spend 12 weeks with their newborn children before they are shot into outer space. [ laughter ] or i don't know how it works exactly. this must have been a tough negotiation for mike pence because on the one hand he desperately wants to be our space commander but on the other hand he gets a panic attack anytime anyone mentions female reproduction. [ laughter ] but it's a rare sign of

cooperation between parties. and believe it or not, donald trump supports paid family leave. you know, he paid marla and ivana to leave the family. [ laughter ] meanwhile, the president's lawyer, rudy giuliani, has been prepping his own case in ukraine. he's been there. trump says he plans to deliver a report based on new information he uncovered there last week. giuliani has extensive ties to the region, both through his legal work and his extended family in nearby transylvania. [ laughter ] and now all they have to do is figure out how to ship his coffin home and look out. [ laughter ] we have a new miss universe. i don't know if you heard. miss south africa was named miss universe last night. [ applause ] i think we're all excited about it. the show was on fox last night. and you remember a few years ago steve harvey announced the wrong winner of miss universe? well, the sequel to that is here. >> all the contestants competed in a national costume contest. here's a look at the winner, philippines.

this is it right here. i thought i had on something fly. but girl, you just whoo. cake and oranges and potato chips. this is a lot. >> can i say something? >> yes. >> it's not philippines. it's malaysia. >> okay. well, let me explain something to you. i just read that in the teleprompter. y'all going to quit doing this to me. i can read. it said -- now they're trying to fix it now. see, this is what they did to me back in 2015. played me short like that. this is malaysia. i really love this national costume of malaysia. >> jimmy: wow. seems pretty clear to me that someone at the miss universe pageant is trying to destroy steve harvey. [ laughter ] and that's what the fbi should be looking into! this is something for those of you who have young children at home like i do. are you familiar with the baby yoda from the mandalorian? it's a very cute and popular character. but according to disney, which owns "star wars," baby yoda toys will not be available for

christmas. they didn't want to make the toys because they didn't want to spoil the reveal of the character. and now it's too late. christmas is now ruined. but if you want a baby yoda for your kid or for your adult nerd, help is on the way. here is a simple way anyone with a few basic items can make their own little yoda at home. ♪ ♪ [ microwave running ] [ electricity crackling ] [ laughter ] ♪

>> jimmy: isn't that great? [ applause ] we're problem solvers around here. i have some exciting news. i got waxed. starting tomorrow, a wax figure of me will be on display at madame tussaud's hollywood. thank you very much. thank you. [ applause ] they have something called the "jimmy kimmel live" experience. we decided to have jimmy kimmel experience here too at our show. we brought wax me into our office and we put it in strange places around the building to surprise my co-workers with special emphasis on my cousin mickey. so please watch. ♪ >> oh, god. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ].

>> oh, [ bleep ]. >> oh, my god. what the hell? that scared the hell out of me. ♪ >> oh, my god. >> [ bleep ] oh, my god. >> oh, my god. it's taunting us. >> [ bleep ]. ♪ >> geez! >> oh, my god! i love him, but he keeps scaring me.

it is so insane. that's so cute. oh, my god. >> oh, my god! this guy keeps scaring me. oh, my god. i'm going to get a heart attack. [ screaming ] >> jimmy! >> i'm just going to stand here. so whatever happens. >> geez! oh, my god. oh, my god! god. you guys are crazy. oh, my god.

oh, my god. you guys are nuts. it's so bizarre. it is so crazy. okay. come on, jimmy. [ screaming ] [ cheers and applause ] [ screaming ] oh, my god. that is so -- >> stop it! >> jimmy: did you know it was me every time? we don't even have a wax figure. >> what? [ laughter ] are you serious? >> jimmy: no. i'm sorry. we had to do it. >> jimmy: oh, wow.

look at mickey and her friend. sorry, mick. are you guys getting to know each other? >> what? >> jimmy: never mind. i hope you have many wonderful conversations together. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: that's my cousin mickey, everybody. hey, we've got a good show tonight. we have music from allen stone. michelle wolf is here. and we'll be right back with jack black. >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by samsung. brought to you by sprint. (paul) it's true, trade in an iphone 6s or newer -in any condition- and you'll get the powerful new iphone 11 for just $0 a month when you switch to sprint. (sprintern) yeah, an iphone 6s for an iphone 11. or trade in your beloved iphone 7, trusty iphone 8, amazing iphone x... (paul) ...take them all to 11. (sprintern) see, i told you, magic. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com

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and you're not sure who'll be more excited... ...you... oh, yeah. ... or them? ahhhhhh! that's yes for less. be a rock star this season and save big on gifts they're gonna love. at ross. yes for less. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming back. tonight, she has a new netflix special called "michelle wolf: joke show." michelle wolf is here. with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] then, this is his album. "building balance." allen stone from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage.

allen is great. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow, dwayne johnson will be here, yahya abdul-mateen ii and music from she and him. and later this week, kevin hart, awkwafina, julia fox, paul walter hauser, plus music from finneas and mark ronson with anderson paak. so join us for that. one more thing. in case you did not know, i wrote and illustrated a children's book. it's called "the serious goose." this is the book. all the money that i make from it goes to children's hospital in l.a. and children's hospitals across the united states. [ cheers and applause ] you can buy it anywhere they have books. not anywhere, but -- or you can go to seriousgoose.com. theseriousgoose.com. to get a copy signed by yours truly, which is my code name for me. did you buy a copy of the book, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, i bought three at target. >> jimmy: and you paid for them yourself? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: erin, is that true? did he pay for them? >> yes. >> jimmy: are you lying? okay. well, gracias, guillermo. >> guillermo: you're welcome. you're the best. >> jimmy: there will be further

investigation later. [ laughter ] no one acts, rocks, or loves harder than our first guest tonight. he's a grammy-winning half of tenacious d and dedicates his days to theater. movie theater. "jumanji: the next level" opens in theaters friday. please say hello to jack black. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wow. amazing. really amazing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you know what? we've been on for a long time and consistently no one makes a better entrance than you do. no one. it's not even close. >> i feel like every time i set

the bar a tiny bit higher. there's a lot of pressure now for myself. i can't just walk out here anymore. i'm always like, what am i going to do? >> jimmy: you want me to clean those glasses? they look a little steamed up. >> yeah, a little steamy. if you've got a sham-wow. my thing is i'm back there and i was like all i know is i've got to get a spin-a-roo in there. [ laughter ] so mission accomp. spin-a-roo achieved. >> jimmy: these look like they've been wiped down with a chicken cutlet. [ laughter ] all right. that's the best i can do. i'm sorry. i don't have any spray. it's good to see you. >> they've got their own chair. >> jimmy: everything all right? i know you've been all over the world, right? traveling. >> yeah. >> jimmy: promoting this movie. >> "jumanji: the next level." it's one of those big movies. you've got to go around the world to promote. so we hit berlin. we hit london.

we hit gay paris. and they're big premieres. each city has their own like big sham-wow. [ laughter ] and you know, you do the premiere. you do the red carpet. and then you introduce the movie. at the "prem-yay." and i thought what can i do to make an impression? and i was thinking of all the great like "prem-yay" moments. and the best one is j-law. jennifer lawrence at the oscars. remember when she was walking up the stairs to accept her oscar and she like tripped and fell. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and america just fell in love with her. even though it's like you're a klutz. you look like an idiot. the opposite happened. people loved her ten times more. so then at all the "prem-yays" i've just been tripping up the stairs on purpose but it looks real. and then the french are like, "oh, jack black, we love him more!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] and to be honest -- thank you.

>> jimmy: they like that stuff a lot. >> and i was thinking i wanted to do it here, to enter with a big fall. but then i thought, maybe that's too -- would you be okay if we redid my entrance? >> jimmy: absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] >> i feel like i want america to fall in love with me. >> jimmy: sure. so you want me to just -- so i'll just introduce you as if -- okay. all right. all right. well, listen, it was so good. why not do it again? i hope jack survives this one. "jumanji: the next level" opens in theaters friday. please say hello to jack black, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wow. are you all right? >> i'm okay. that's just the first time i've

ever fallen. [ laughter ] but i'm okay. i'm just happy to be here. and i want to thank the academy. i'm going to put my things over there. anyways, thank you. >> jimmy: we might have our first on-air death. are you okay? >> i've never gotten this much cardio at the top of a show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. well, this is great. it's great you have to -- >> i'm going to unbutton one just to let out the steam. shhh. >> jimmy: by the way, speaking of entrances, i want to say i know you turned 50 a couple of months ago. >> i did. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you had a big party at largo. >> well, not really. i don't like to party. i don't like to have a party for myself. i always feel like weird being the center. i know it's weird. it's -- my gig is being the center of attention. but not at my birthday party. i like to go to other people's parties. but i wanted to do a birthday

concert because i feel more comfortae when i'm up on stage, you know, putting on a show. that's like the best way to celebrate my time. if it's my day, i want to put on a show. so yeah, my buddy -- >> jimmy: yes. largo, which is a great place to go. >> best theater in los angeles. >> jimmy: it is a great theater. and you took it very -- you actually celebrated quite literally. do you mind if we show this? >> i'd love it if you showed it. >> jimmy: tell us what's happening here on your birthday. >> so that's me. for my big entrance i wanted to recreate my original entranc&-p. and everybody comes into the world the same way. through their mother's reproductive canal. >> jimmy: right. >> so my wife made this -- >> jimmy: your wife made this? >> vulva. this gigantic vulva to enter through. it's actually how i was born. my butt came first and then my

doctor put it back and put my foot next and they pulled me out by the feet. >> jimmy: and you hopped out of your mother. >> yeah. and i had my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. what a beautiful -- was your family there to see that? >> once again it was just very important that i had the right entrance. and if it was my birthday show, and it was called the jack black experience because i didn't want people in the audience to know it was my birthday show. i thought what better way to start the jack black experience where i tell people the whole story of my life than to start at the beginning. >> jimmy: was your family there to see this, to witness this? >> yep. some of my family was there. my boys were there. my wife was there. they were all part of the show. >> jimmy: how did the boys like the entrance? >> the boys, i think they loved the show, but they might have been slightly traumatized. it wasn't really for kids. but -- [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: how old are they? >> they are now 11 and 13. >> jimmy: okay. >> but i think as long as there's creativity involved, i don't have a problem letting them -- >> jimmy: not only that, you don't have to explain how babies are born anymore. you did it visually. >> exactly. we can skip that lesson of the birds and the bees. >> jimmy: are they coming to the premiere with you? >> oh, yeah. they're in the dressing room right now. with my dad, my stepmom, my sister, all in the house. >> jimmy: oh, wow. where is your dad visiting from? >> my dad is visiting from tenasket, washington in washington state. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. it's very exciting. >> jimmy: does he come to all your premieres? >> he's not really been to any of the premieres. i think this is the first one. but this is one of those where it's a big one and they don't come around that often anymore, you know, the big ones where it's an event, a worldwide movie. >> jimmy: right. >> so he came down. excited to have him here, share the -- it's not a red carpet. tonight it's a blue carpet. i'm going to bring him on the blue carpet. very proud. >> jimmy: okay. maybe your dad will make an entrance of some kind. does your dad do that sort of thing?

>> maybe we'll both slip and fall on our butts. i like that thing your cousin did, cousin mickey, when she fell down. >> jimmy: that was quite a -- >> you see, the whole world fell in love with mickey the same way. >> i highly recommend it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jack black is here with us. "jumanji: the next level" is the movie. we'll be right back. save time this season with drive up at target. ♪ i feel love ♪ just pull up, tap the app, anget everything on your list. so quick, the kids won't even notice. make your holiday shopping easy, and try drive up at target.

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look out! >> oh. >> oh, lord. >> bethany? >> no. i'm -- what? no. no, no, no! this can't be happening! >> yes, i'm -- damn it! the hell, man. >> something went wrong. >> you think? >> jimmy: that is jack black in "jumanji: the next level." and you have taken it to the next level.

>> i have. i got kevin hart's role this time. i get to be fridge this time. >> jimmy: kevin will be here this week. dwayne johnson will be here this week. were you guys flying around together on a plane going everywhere? >> separately. but together once we got to the destinaish. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it makes it a lot more fun to be with guys like that. >> you mean to be separate and then together? >> jimmy: as long as there's a together part. speaking of fun -- first of all, with tenacious d you and kyle, you did like a world tour. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: how was that? >> and thank you, everyone else, for joining in with my peeps. tenacious d. you know, that's the -- that's my pride and joy. that's my baby. love to go on tour with -- we got a rock opera, "post apocalypto." >> jimmy: i love it. >> we toured all around the world.

and we even stopped off in nashville and we got a call from jack white. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. who has his headquarters there in nashville. and he was like hey, if you're coming through why don't you come by and record a little something at my home studio. and we were like, yes. we can't say no to that. because he's a legend. >> jimmy: he's the greatest. >> i love jack white. >> jimmy: he's fantastic. >> but there also was terror. like oh, no. well, because you don't want to let jack white down. so we're like what are we going to do? we can't just go record one of our old songs. we've got to write a new song. so we wrote a song about how terrified we were to go rock for jack white. and it's called "don't blow it, cage." my partner in tenacious d, i affectionately call him cage. and we went and we blew doors down. and it's available if you want to hear "don't blow it, cage." >> jimmy: what is it like at the studio? he lives at -- the studio's in his house, right? >> yes.

and if anyone gets a chance to go to jack white's house, jump on that opportunity. it was an experience. >> jimmy: but not right now. wait till daytime. >> yeah. don't hop the fence. you've got to get the invite. but the thing about his place, it's like going to graceland. it's like every room has been like meticulously curated. >> jimmy: is that right? >> with magic and humor and weirdness. and while i was walking through he said, if you don't mind, just don't take any pictures or video. and i was like, this is killing me. this would be the best photos and videos. and i was like-i think i know why, though. he's creating a graceland. when he dies, then you will be allowed to go in and tour the museum of jack white. and then i immediately -- >> jimmy: what's in there? tell us something that's in there. can you tell something that's in there? >> literally every square inch of that place has a moment of magic. but my favorite might have been there's these two like taxidermy lions, huge powerful beasts, and in between them there's this gorgeous ornate like throne. and he said you can sit there.

that's where i go to read, between the lions. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and that is so -- it's so corny. it's so cheesy. but it's also so genius. and everywhere you look there's another situation like that. >> jimmy: that's pretty good, yeah. well, it's very good to see you. when is that going to come out, that record you made? >> it's out. "don't blow it, cage." >> jimmy: in that case, i love that record. [ laughter ] >> it's one song. it's just one song. >> jimmy: well, i don't want to get in a fight with you. it was a beautiful entrance. two beautiful entrances. >> can you just cut out the first one and then cut out this part too? >> jimmy: yeah. we'll cut the whole thing out. it will be as if you were never on the show tonight. [ laughter ] >> no, i -- >> jimmy: jack black! he was not here. his movie's called "jumanji: the next level." it opens friday. we'll be right back. [whispering] it's switching time.

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might make your holiday just a little bit brighter. happy holiday to ya.

>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. still to come on the show, music from allen stone. if you're looking for something to watch on netflix, our next guest's new stand-up special is 2 1/2 hours shorter than "the irishman" and a lot funnier too. "michelle wolf: joke show" is available now. please say hello to michelle wolf. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i haven't seen you in a very long time. >> it's been a little bit. >> jimmy: the last time you were about to do the white house correspondents' dinner. >> yes. the universally beloved correspondents dinner. >> jimmy: looking back, you're not really a political comedian. i think people think you might be because of that, right? >> yeah, i think -- i mean, i can write jokes about anything. like i do political jokes. i don't like doing them, but i can do them. >> jimmy: it's not your thing. >> not my thing.

but like -- like right now we have a guy running for president who's gay, has butt in his last name, and is from south bend, indiana. and no one's making any jokes about that. [ laughter ] no one's saying anything about the gay butt mayor from south bend, indiana. nothing along the lines of he's smart, detail-oriented, some would even say a little anal. [ laughter ] those jokes have not and will not be made. >> jimmy: and probably for the best, yes? >> progress. we're making progress. >> jimmy: don't you think it would liven things up to have a gay president? >> oh, my god. a gay -- but i would want like a really gay president. [ laughter ] the one that comes out on the debate stage and he's like, you're fat, you're ugly, and he's gay. i'm happy where we are as a society, though. i think this is a good place to be that we're not making these jokes, but it has to be like --

i know it has to be a little mad about the timing of all of it, has to be monica lewinsky. >> jimmy: why? >> we're being so mature now. but we essentially called her a whore for 25 years. but comics, of course. we're terrible. but also like the news. like anytime there was a story about ovals or offices or [ bleep ] stains, the news was just like, yeah, monica, yum, yum, yum, yum. back to you, carl. that was, like, the weather. >> jimmy: yeah, it kind of was in a way. >> but we're being so mature now. >> jimmy: we have grown up in a lot of ways. we've been forced to. >> i think even mayor pete has to be a little surprised. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. he has to be like no one's going to make any jokes? no one's going to say we don't even know where he's polling, it could be the top or the bottom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you think he's saying

that? you think there's a possibility? >> probably after he discusses policies, he goes into, like, no. the more i think about it though the more i'm like, it feels like -- i don't like to pull this card often but it does feel a little bit sexist. we're going to make fun of monica. we're so immature when it came to monica. and now we have this man and we're just being so mature about it. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> plus if he becomes president he'll be -- we'll have the first first gentleman. we're going to have the first first gentleman before we have the first female president. for now the gays were not allowed to make fun of this guy. they're stealing our jobs. [ laughter ] forget about immigrants. i'm worried about gay men. they're taking our jobs, they're doing them better. [ laughter ] wedding planners, stylists. every woman should just become a doula immediately. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think that's part of his platform. do you feel like after that

event that you gained more fans or non-fans? was it a positive gain or a negative for you? >> i definitely gained a ton of fans. but i also -- yeah, like a lot of people hate me for it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like i get trolled a lot. but i'm so bored with all the trolling. like it's all just -- so many people are like, oh, that carrot top looking -- and i'm like, yes. i know. i know i look like carrot top. i have mirrors. [ laughter ] every time i see a picture of carrot top, i'm like, i wasn't in las vegas. [ laughter ] if you do the amount of pull-ups that carrot top can do, yeah, i would love that. i'd be like yeah, i'll lift your car. >> jimmy: speaking of pull-ups -- and i didn't know this about you. you run just not just marathons but ultra marathons. >> yes. regular marathons are for the weak.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many miles is this? >> ultra marathon is technically anything over a marathon but they're like anywhere from 50k, 100 mile, 200 mile. >> jimmy: 200 miles. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how many miles have you run? what's the most? >> i did a 50-miler. >> jimmy: 50 miles. in one day. >> in one day. >> jimmy: that's crazy. [ applause ] >> thank you. applaud me! >> jimmy: that sounds like a nightmare to me. >> there's part of it that feels good and there's part where you want to die. and then you end and you think i'm never going to do that again and then you go, like a did i later you're like that wasn't too bad, i might do it again. >> jimmy: is it because you can tell people you did it? or what is the reason? is it for yourself? >> yeah, part of it is you feel like you're better than other people. [ laughter ] i think that's one of the reasons people don't like when you talk about running. because i think when i say i like to run, people hear oh, you think you're better than me? and i am, yeah. [ laughter ] you're lazy. >> jimmy: well, congratulations

on your netflix special. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is on netflix. it's called "michelle wolf: joke show." it is available now. michelle wolf, everybody. we'll be right back with allen stone. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the 2019 "a" class. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank jack black and michelle wolf. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his album, "building balance." here with the song "brown eyed lover," allen stone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i've got a brown eyed lover on the other side of town ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪

♪ she's got me upside tongue-tied twisted all around ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ well i don't know i can't tell will this last or just come and go it came so fast ♪ ♪ and my feet feel cold but my mind is for sure and my heart remains oh ♪ ♪ she's got everything you want wardrobe bought at the thrift shop ♪ ♪ and all my friends adore her she reminds me of my mother ♪ ♪ she wonders how my day went and don't care about my paychecks ♪ ♪ well i don't wanna keep my baby waiting ♪ ♪ i've got a brown eyed lover on the other side of town ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting

i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ she's got me upside tongue-tied twisted all around ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ oh let me think what if she finds a man ♪ ♪ who's got so much more time for her than me on his hands ♪ ♪ that don't make sense why would she wait so long just to run away oh ♪ ♪ she's got everything you want lets me pick the restaurant ♪ ♪ and all my friends adore her and i can still afford her ♪ ♪ she wishes i'd stop worrying about where my next paycheck is ♪ ♪ well i don't wanna keep my

baby waiting ♪ ♪ i've got a brown eyed lover on the other side of town ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ she's got me upside tongue-tied twisted all around ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ i've got a brown eyed lover on the other side of town ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ she's got me upside tongue-tied twisted all around ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪ ♪ i don't wanna keep her waiting waiting ♪

♪ i don't want to keep her waiting ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> two, three! ♪ ♪ she gets me higher than a 7-4-7 hey turns me up to 11 man this must be heaven ♪ ♪ i never doubt her lovin' for a second hey two to three babies and a wedding i'm spendin' ♪ ♪ something's coming all over me i'm obsessin' head over feet ♪ ♪ you know life it ain't always sunny days but right now i can feel no rain on me ♪

♪ it would take so much hate for my smile to leave because i know the one i love she loves me she loves me ♪ ♪ she got me shootin' like peyton in the '90s ♪ ♪ swish everything's exciting she's the wave that i am riding ♪ ♪ the thunder to my lightning hey she's the one and only cake that i am icing ♪ ♪ something's coming all over me i'm obsessin' head over feet ♪ ♪ you know life it ain't always sunny days but right now i can feel no rain on me ♪ ♪ it would take so much hate for my smile to leave ♪ ♪ because i know the one i love, she loves me ♪ ♪ yeah, she loves me

♪ well, love, love, love ♪ she loves me ♪ love, love, love this is "nightline." tonight, forever family. the couple redefining what it means to raise a full house. adopting nine foster kids, all at once for a family of 15. how long before you called mom and dad mom and dad? >> the second we got here. >> not true. it was like the second day. >> plus -- ♪ it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood ♪ >> mr. rogers revisited. a beautiful day in the neighborhood with your best friend, now on the big screen. >> hello, neighbor. >> now his wife, sitting down with the leading man. >> how do you think your husband pould have reacted by being