>> from his house. hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. today is monday, march 130th. what year i don't know. we are back on television with the first of what is hopefully a limited series we call "jimmy kimmel live from his house." and this is my house. it's the only room in my house that's not completely crusted in play-doh right now. i'm also not making these videos on my ipad anymore. a few light. i've got basically the same setup they use to shoot pornos here. the only thing i don't have is people. everything is being operated remotely tonight. from space. mike pence is controlling this show from the mars rover right now. i hope you had an okay weekend. i had a chilling thought last night. i hesitate to even mention this because i feel like if -- i don't know. i feel like if i do it won't happen. so i'm going to mention it. as bad as this all is, and i'm not talking about the serious stuff, people dying, i'm talking

about the inconvenience of staying at home, there is one thing that can make it a lot worse. and that would be if the wi-fi goes out. god forbid. could you imagine? i don't know what i'd even do. i'd probably just go to a rave and surrender to the virus. if someone ao c between wi-fi and running water right now, i would drink my pool. my daughters and i played animal crossing all day yesterday on nintendo switch. have you seen this game? all right. there's nobody here. anyway, shout out to tom nook and timmy at the shop. but my point was the internet is still chugging along. it's providing us with hundreds if not thousands of entertaining videos to make the days shorter. so many of you have been coming up with and sharing fun and unusual ways -- funusual ways to pass the time. and tonight's is a good one too. this is our quaran-time killer of the night. ♪ quarantine party

♪ ♪ >> jimmy: it's like a party version of "silence of the lambs." i like that. well done. you know, for a lot of people like myself today began our third week of quarantine. and this is when your survival skills start to kick in. this is when we get resourceful. one of the guys who works on our show, an industrious young man named max, ran out of toilet paper. and obviously you can't just go out and buy it right now. so max went to amazon and searched novelty toilet paper and this is what he found. he found a roll that says "holy other emoji you're 50." max is 29. but his ass is 50. and it's not like anyone's coming over. so good for him. at the white house today jim acosta of cnn snapped this photograph of a white house staffer bringing in rolls of

paper towels. i hope those were a gift from puerto rico. i really do. the president had his daily press briefing yesterday in the white house rose garden, which gave him a chance to use his outside voice outside for a change. and you can see he's really putting out some positive energy. >> why don't you people act -- let me ask you -- why don't you act in a little more positive? it's always trying to -- >> my question to you -- >> get you, get you. and you know what? that's why nobody trusts the media anymore. >> my question is how's that going to impact -- >> excuse me, you didn't hear me. that's why you used to work for the "times" and now you work for someone else. read the statement. read what i said. who are you with, bloomberg, right? i can't imagine that. excuse me, are you ready? ready? take a look at what i said. i want them to be appreciative of me. okay? and then you cut it off because it's fake news. >> you and your administration. absolutely. >> your statement and your response and your answer is a lie. >> mr. president, my second question -- >> go ahead. that's enough. please. please. >> my second question -- >> that's enough.

look, let me tell you something. be nice. >> jimmy: he's nice. why can't everyone else be nice? he just wants us all to be nice. is that too much to ask? the president also took time during this deadly national emergency to brag about the ratings for his press conferences. >> the american public, ultimately they should be the decider. it's like if they don't want to watch they shouldn't watch. and we shouldn't have bigger ratings than "the bachelor" or as "the new york times" said we have monday night football type ratings. now, i didn't say that. i have no idea what they are in a sense, but i know that the "times," they say it's all the news that's fit to print. i say it's all the news that's not fit to print because i think they are not honest people. but that's okay. but they can't help it. but even they said that the ratings are like "monday night football" ratings. and that these are like "bachelor" finale. that's their end. when the big deal happened. i have no idea what happened

because i'm too busy working on this. someday you'll tell me what happened. no, i think it's terrible. >> jimmy: you think what's terrible? i thought you were happy. you were happy about the ratings. what is terrible? you know, i hear words coming out of your mouth but i don't know what they mean. i will say this. it's strange how "the new york times" lies about everything except his tv ratings. and by the way, just because people are watching you doesn't mean it's good. have you heard of the masked singer? right now half of this country is watching a show about a bunch of toothless meth heads abusing tigers. but the president is very proud of himself and couldn't resist blowing his big orange horn on twitter too. he wrote "because the ratings of my news conferences et cetera are so high bachelor finale, monday night football type numbers according to the "new york times," the lamestream media is going crazy. trump is reaching too many people. we must stop him, said one lunatic. see you at 5:00 p.m." yeah, let's meet up for unhappy

hour. the positive news is the president for once appears to have listened to someone. despite originally saying everybody would be back to work by easter he announced he will extend social distancing guidelines through april 30th. so purell has frozen over. i'm honestly surprised he didn't just say he's moving easter. i spoke to jesus, he said sir, if you need to move easter i will wait to rise again. you know, many if not every state is running desperately low on medical supplies, especially ventilators and masks. so trump, because he can't ever be at fault for anything, has suggested that someone at the hospitals must be stealing them. he said something's going on. where are the masks going? are they going out the back door? yeah, like someone pinched a crate of silverware from one of his casinos in atlantic. what is -- what on earth -- is he implying that after work these nurses get off their 12-hour shift and steal masks so

they can go sand a deck in their back yard? you know how when you overhear something at another table at a restaurant that's so crazy you want to say something but your wife tells you not to and then you think about it all night? our president is the guy sitting at that table. he had another doozy of a press conference today. he invited a group of major business leaders to join him to discuss their efforts to help with emergency relief including the ceos of honeywell, procter & gamble, jockey, united technologies and the guy from my pillow. >> our president gave us so much hope when just a few short months ago we had the best economy, the lowest unemployment and wages going up. it was amazing. with our great president, vice president, and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily we will get through this and get back to a place that's stronger and safer than ever. >> thank you. thank you, mike. appreciate it. please come on up. >> i did not know he was going to do it. but he's a friend of mine.

i do appreciate it. >> jimmy: well, you know what? you invite the guy from my pillow, you made your own bed. literally. meanwhile, and i hope trump doesn't find out about this, because he will be very jealous. a bakery in rochester, new york called donuts delight is selling donuts featuring the face of dr. anthony fauci. there he is. his face is printed on top of a thick layer of butter cream. making donuts to bring attention to a health crisis might be the most american thing any american has ever done. so congratulations to them. i also want to wish a happy doctors day to dr. anthony fauci and all the medical professionals out there and not just for what they're doing right now. but for all year we show them our weird bodies and they don't laugh at us and we really do appreciate that too. you know, a very good way to thank doctors right now is to follow their orders when they tell you to stay home. many people are not. in the midst of all this there are people throwing coronavirus parties. for real. a guy in maryland threw two

coronavirus parties last week. and look, i don't want anybody to get coronavirus. except for that guy in maryland. if possible i'd like him to get two of them. police in some cities in the south were also having trouble with churches where pastors are refusing to close because they believe god will protect them from the virus. one pentecostal church in louisiana had more than 1,000 people show up this weekend. and they were hugging and touching and laying hands on each other. which is not good. it is bad for everyone. you know, it's important to remember that you don't have to go to church. you don't even have to leave your home to celebrate the word of the lord because rest assured, tv televangelist kenneth copeland is busy on the case. >> in the name of jesus! >> oh, thank you, jesus. >> standing in the office of the prophet of god, i execute

judgment on you, covid-19! i execute judgment on you, satan! you destroyer! you killer! you get out! you get off this nation! i demand judgment on you! i demand -- i demand -- i demand a vaccination to come immediately! >> yes! >> jimmy: did anyone else get the sense the guy in the glasses isn't really buying it? let's look at him again. >> i demand a vaccination to come immediately! >> yes! >> jimmy: yes! maybe we can get some eggs too, lord? lo lordy? of all the dopey things that have been posted online over the past couple of weeks, this might be the dopeyest. the instagrammy for most tone-deaf response to the coronavirus goes to billionaire david geffen who over the weekend posted this photo of his super yacht to instagram with the caption "sunset last night.

isolated in the grenadines. avoiding the virus. i'm hoping everyone is staying safe." obviously, that didn't go over great. people went nuts on geffen. so much so he had to delete his instagram account, which is probably for the best. listen, no one wants best wishes from a super yacht right now. if i was president, that's the first ship i'd make them turn into a hospital. i'd pull that right in the harbor and load it up with cots. like everyone this weekend, my wife and i watched "the tiger king" on netflix. unfortunately, we had to wait to watch until we put the kids to sleep. so i thought it might be helpful to combine netflix with disney plus to create a new version of "the tiger king" not just for adults but for the whole family. >> i had my days of coke. i had my days of drinking. i had my days of meth. >> you're leading me down a road where people are just going to say you have to join a [ bleep ] cult to be a tiger trainer. promise you. been here 35 years. heard it all forever.

>> it was joe's campaign manager for about a year and a half. it was the worst experience of my life. it was horrible. horrible, horrible. >> cool cats and kittens. >> big cat rescue. >> oh, my god. i'm never going to financially recover from this. >> travis was not gay. okay? travis was banging every girl in the park. ♪ mama sure loves you ♪ ♪ mama made this for you ♪ >> jimmy: hakuna matata. oh, you know what? we've got joining us from his home our pal guillermo. how are you doing, guillermo? >> guillermo: i'm doing great, jimmy. >> jimmy: guillermo, why are you not wearing your security uniform? you should be in full uniform

protecting me virtually at all times. >> guillermo: oh, i'm sorry. i forget to go get it dry cleaned. >> jimmy: do you drop that stuff off yourself? you do your own dry cleaning? >> guillermo: yeah, i drop it in the dry cleaning. i do it myself. >> jimmy: all right. very good. everything's good at home? >> guillermo: everything is fine. yes. just stay safe sxwrrpt what? >> guillermo: everything is fine. trying to stay safe. >> jimmy: okay. i thought you saidester stay safe. >> guillermo: no. i said i'm fine. i'm trying to stay safe. >> jimmy: i think -- you know what? when we're apart for a while, guillermo forgets how to speak english. but you'll work on that, right? >> guillermo: i will. i'll try my best. >> jimmy: all right. well, very good. we have a fun show tonight. tonight we are going to take -- guillermo and i are going to look back at an old visit from tom brady, the new tampa bay buccaneer. we have new music from jeff tweedy of wilco and his sons from their bathroom. and we'll be right back to check in with tracy morgan at home. so stick with us. all right? i'm in my house.

>> guillermo: everything is fine. yester stay safe. >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by medicare from blue cross and blue shield companies. this is also hal's heart. and his relief, knowing he's covered by blue cross blue shield. this is hal's heart. and it's beating better than ever. this is what medicare from blue cross blue shield does for hal. and with easy access to quality healthcare, imagine what we can do for you. this is the benefit of blue. has the right to pizza night. pizza! which is why our pizza is cooked at 475 -degrees,

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and the goodness you'll love. together, with sun-maid. go! you're gonna be late! mom, bag check. ♪ sun-maid. raisins, yogurt covered and sour fruit snacks. made delicious with whole fruit. jimmy kimmel live! from his house! >> jimmy: we are back at my house. we have music. the music of wilco with jeff tweedy and his sons from the bathroom on the way. plus we will look back at an interview with former new england patriots quarterback tom brady. but first it is time to check in with a very special guest. every night i've been doing this show from home i've been checking in with some of our famous friends in their homes. and tonight we are joined by one of the funniest people of all. i can only imagine what it must be like to be locked up with him right now. his wife is a very lucky lady, suffice it to say. all the way from new jersey

let's say hello to tracy morgan. hello, tracy. >> what's up! >> jimmy: thank you for joining us. how are you? >> i'm chilling, yo! yo, you said my life is a lovely lady? can i do profanity? >> jimmy: yes, go right ahead. of course. we need some profanity right now. >> you know what she said to me earlier? >> jimmy: what? >> we've been stuck in this house for two weeks. she said, i'm going to kill you, mother [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: what did you do to elicit that reaction, tracy? was it anything in particular? >> i'm just here. she started lo she's tired of looking at my [ bleep ] tas. >> jimmy: this is your house. >> don't you have to to -- >> jimmy: i see a t-rex flashing in the back. it looks like a dave & buster's. this is your bowling alley?

>> it's an arcade game i bought for my daughter. yo, man, this is the longest i've ever been stuck in my house without wearing an ankle monitor. >> jimmy: tracy, would you agree with me when i say that the difference between being rich and being very rich is a bowling alley in your house? that to me is -- that's the line. how many lanes do you have? >> there's only two lanes in here. >> jimmy: two lanes. that's enough. and it looks like your bowling balls look like billiard balls. what pound ball do you throw typically? >> let me see this one. >> jimmy: take a look. >> this is my personal ball. i had my ball personally made for me. >> jimmy: nice. >> how many pounds is it? see? it says tm right there. tm. >> jimmy: that's not trademark. that's -- pretty much every logo says tm on it. yeah.

and are you good? what's your average? do you know? >> i ain't good, man! this is all for looks, brother. >> jimmy: how often do you actually bowl? >> black people don't be bowling. i've from the projects, man. i said when i grow up i'm going to get me a house with a bowling alley in it. voila! >> jimmy: how many people are in your house right now living with you? your wife of course, who's ready to kill you. your daughter. >> my wife and my daughter. my wife and my daughter. then i got sharks. i got a moray eel. >> jimmy: what does a moray eel eat? >> what does a moray eat? >> jimmy: yeah. >> other morays. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. they're cannibals, man. yo, this is crazy times we're living in, man. i never saw so many white people in the unemployment office, man. >> jimmy: are you worried about the economy right now, about what will happen to the american economy?

>> hell, no! black people ain't never had no [ bleep ] money. >> jimmy: have you been doing the thing, tracy, where people -- >> white people going crazy. you know why white people going crazy during these times? because they closed down the starbucks, man. >> jimmy: you think that's what's got everyone on edge? starbucks. >> they can't get their lattes, man. >> jimmy: have you been doing that thing when you go out in the driveway and you hang out with your neighbors and you're six feet away from them or like a social distancing neighborhood party? >> let m tell you something, man. i can't do the social dimension stuff. i went to hug my mother and she gave me her elbow. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it's not right. then she proceeded to ask me for money. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. have any of your family members -- >> she said that she's social distancing from me, so she want me to venmo it to her. >> jimmy: have any of your

family members suggested that they might move into your big house with you? >> yeah. my cousin called me to tell me he lost his job. i said you ain't never hay jd a job, damn it! makes you want to call up your exes on the phone and say you need some toilet paper? can i come over to help you out with supplies? or you can rekindle stuff with your exes. >> jimmy: yes. you can rekindle as long as you don't touch anybody. are you getting -- >> i'm hurt because they closed down baseball. they closed down nba. they also closed down strip clubs. >> jimmy: which are you most upset about? baseball, nba or strip clubs? >> strip clubs, man! is that a trick question, jim? i never thought i'd see the time in my life where i got to go through a drive-thru strip club. >> jimmy: is that what you've

been resorting to? a drive-thru strip club, huh? >> i don't really go to strip clubs. i told you i was hard on them strippers. i used to go to the strip club with the sweat pants that rocky w wore. with no drawers on. somebody getting pregnant in the boom-boom room. >> jimmy: i noticed, i don't know if you noticed that nba players, all of them seem to have been tested for the coronavirus whereas it's very difficult to get a test unless you've got very severe symptoms. what do you make of that? >> i don't know about that, but i know yesterday my cousin called me, he said he was with this new girl and he was thinking -- he thought he was being responsible. he had the mask on and the gloves on. and he ended up getting condom. >> jimmy: he gets the -- yeah,

the mask is not going to happen. >> everybody got the virus and i get gonorrhea. >> jimmy: that's the thing about gonorrhea. it doesn't care about the coronavirus. >> she gave him a severe case of crabs. >> jimmy: tracy, you may know this, but each night that we've been doing these interviews i have been making a donation to the charity of our guest's choice. and you are the guest tonight. so you get to choose the charity. what charity did you choose as our donee tonight? >> i'm going to choose stand up for cancer because i know we're in some hard times with this virus and i really want to keep the focus on cancer too because people are still dying because of cancer. and i've had a lot of people in my family including my ex-wife pass away from it. so i really want to bring awareness to that. >> jimmy: i think that's -- >> so please if you're out there, dig down deep. don't be cheap. remember, when you donate to these causes you save a life.

and this is in my first wife's please.deep. honor. i know i'm funny b d serious about this. >> jimmy: go to g to mdonation. he i thi that's an excellent choice, tracy. before we go i do want to mention that "the last o.g." is coming back for a new season to tbs starting april 7th. and also "spoony love," your character returns for a new season of "crank yankers" on comedy central. >> spoony! >> jimmy: tracy, before we go would you mind bowling? we'd love to see your form. would you mind throwing a ball for us? >> i've got you. >> jimmy: all right. let's see. here he goes. tracy morgan. he has a bowling alley, so why not use it? all right. he's selected the orange striped ball. and here we go. tracy is right down the center. ooh! well done.

tracy with the 9. tracy morgan, everybody. thank you, tracy. we have a lot more in store tonight. a mixture of old and new including my interview with new tampa bay buccaneer tom brady, jeff tweedy of wilco and his sons with music from the bathroom at his house. and when we come back, guillermo, tracy and i visit the bronx zoo. >> jimmy kimmel live! from his house! it. it's about taking care of each other. it's the small parts that make a big difference. at chevy, we promise to do ours. we're offering chevy owners complimentary onstar crisis assist services and wifi data. if you need a new chevy, interest-free financing for 84 months - with deferred payments for 120 days on many of our most popular models. you may even shop online and take delivery at home. it's just our way of doing our part... uh-oh, dead battery at your rustic rental. what if a little birdie told you it's switching time?

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>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from his house. i am jimmy kimmel. and i am in my house. i hope you are too.

not in my house. i hope you're in your house. do not come to my house. anyway, we just checked in with tracy morgan. i've had many wonderful moments with tracy both on camera and off. i can't show you the off. but this happened back in 2015 on our annual trip to new york. tracy had just come into a large sum of money and made a very ♪ we're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo ♪ ♪ how about you, you, you ♪ you can come too, too, too ♪ we're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo ♪ >> that's how it happens. if you want to slow climb down in america, you need to get that free cheese program up and running. >> jimmy: well, hello there. >> hey, jimbo! guillermo. what's up, baby? >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> you finally made it. i just bought the zoo. >> jimmy: you bought the zoo? >> the whole thing. with all the animals, everything.with it.

i bought everything except for that one rock right there. but we're going to get that done. hey, craig! what you're saying to me is unnecessary. >> jimmy: which one is craig? >> right there. the big one. stretching his neck out there. i just came back. all they had is big mac meals. >> guillermo: what do they eat? >> they like big mac meals and some of them like white castle. this one is from the west coast so he likes fatburgers. >> jimmy: i had no idea. >> let me take you. >> jimmy: i would love to see it. you bought the zoo. >> oh, yeah. >> guillermo: with all the animals? ah. jimmy: thgrt. >> a few human came with it. ♪ we're going to the zoo >> this is congo. let me show you my gorillas. >> jimmy: these are your gorillas. >> my gorillas. >> jimmy: wow. >> let's go. >> jimmy: what's that smell? look at this. >> guillermo: that one over there. big muscles. look. oh, my god. he's coming here, tracy. >> jimmy: wow. >> hey, derek. can i get my money?

>> jimmy: garrett? >>k. >> jimmy: look at this. he's right here. >> guillermo: wow. >> jimmy: why does he have his back to us like that? >> he's trying to show dominance. >> jimmy: i. he want to show me i got your money right here. he always do that to me. i got your money right here. >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. >> we've got sort of like a grudge going on because one of his girlfriends liked me. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. brenda. she's sitting way back there. >> jimmy: oh, she's beautiful. >> hi, brenda. hi, baby. >> jimmy: this little baby now, is that -- s w o pov with me. >> jimmy: really? >> she said that baby's mine. >> jimmy: this is one of the greatest things i've ever seen. >> guillermo: me too. >> jimmy: gorillas so close like this. >> guillermo: it has a big belly like mine. >> that's because you eat a lot of lasagna. >> jimmy: that's what they feed the gorillas? >> that's what he likes to eat. you cook his lasagna, you've got

to put six different cheeses in it. >> guillermo: how many? >> six different. >> jimmy: that's one of the great things about being with the owner of the zoo, guillermo the informatiotl>> tired e ri. jmye,>>'s go see the flamingos. florence nightingales of the bird world. peaches! she get crazy when i come around. >> jimmy: mike tyson used to have a tiger in his house. can you imagine having one of these in your house? >> that's why i bought the bronx an house. >> jimmy: what's the difference between a bison and a buffalo? >> they don't make bison spicy hot wings. they make buffalo hot wings. >> guillermo: how many pounds do you think? >> easily about 16,000.

>> jimmy: it weighs 16,000 pounds? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it must be very dense, you know. these animals. >> what's dense mean? >> jimmy: like thick or -- >> i've got to go back and get my g.e.d. >> jimmy: oh, wow. do you get worried when they fight like that? i oraslist and g:s that right? >> oh, yeah. they have everything. but you've got to be careful who you deal with on craigslist. >> jimmy: you don't want to get a -- >> crazy lion. because you can get a crazy lion on craigslist. >> jimmy: wow. they're beautiful. >> oh, yeahen first got them all custom detailed. >> jimmy: really? >> you see the hoofs? armor all on them. >> jimmy: wow. >> this is my giraffes over here. >> jimmy: you have giraffes and everything. >> i got more than michael jackson. >> jimmy: you do? >> how many michael jackson got?

>> guillermo: he had two. >> jimmy: michael jackson hadma> jimmy: you've got like six. >> i'm making more. >> jimmy: how do you do that? plom muc.im what musi arn ga. >>immy: marvin gaye it on. ♪ i been really trying baby ♪ trying to hold back this feeling for so long ♪ you hear that? >> jimmy: it's working. ♪ but if you feel like i feel baby ♪ ♪ come on ♪ oh, come on ♪ whoo ♪ let's get it on >> okay. k we sho - you're right. ♪ let's get it on ♪ oh baby ♪ let's get it on

♪ let's love baby >> jimmy: the bronx zoo after dark. we're going to take a break, but when we return a chat with the man whose departure broke boston's heart. mr. tom brady. when we come back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by johnnie walker black label and spirits network. have your johnnie walker black delivered to your door on spiritsnetwork.com. it's a like, a dagger?a worm!

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♪ jimmy kimmel live from his house! >> jimmy: hey, it's jimmy. welcome back to my home. we have music from jeff tweedy and sons on the way. but first, t for sports fans. you know, march madness would have been the reason no one was working right now had it not been for the coronavirus. and a lot of fans are missing their favorite teams and sports and athletes. and so with that in mind it's time to revisit my first ever interview with six-time super bowl champion tom brady from the year 2019 bb.

that's before buccaneers. an interview that included some off-season target practice with an actor whose name i do not care to mention. >> i'm making this pillow. >> are those hearts for me? the. >> guillermo. >> i think i deserve a hug. >> you're a great man. hell yeah, i'll give you a hug. >> guillermo: you are the greatest all-time, to >> jimat's one of the many interactions with guillermo. at the super bowl. >> i love guillermo. he has a special place in my heart. you know that. >> jimmy: yeah. there is some kind of chemistry between you. i think guillermo maybe has chemistry with everybody. just like tequila in a way. >> he's so lovable. >> jimmy: speaking of chemistry, this is your book. this is -- what can we learn from this book? >> you can learn a lot. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's really based on performance and recovery. and i think you know, for me as an athlete that's obviously critical to my career. >> jimmy: same here. [ laughter ] >> yeah. we've discussed this. i think, you know, it's amazing.

everyone is look for the same thing. and hopefully that book can provide people a lot of answers. that's something beyond football that i'm excited to share with a lot of people. i feel like i've acquired a lot of information over a lot of really intense years of football that people can actually apply in their everyday life. >> jimmy: do you feel like your arm is as strong as it ever was, your throwing arm? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you do? [ cheers and applause ] let's test it. because -- [ cheers and applause ] you could throw the ball -- >> guillermo: no, no. jimmy. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: tom football in here. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: tom cannot throw a football in here. >> jimmy: why not? >> guillermo: he can break the lights. it's too dangerous. he can kill somebody. >> jimmy: you know, you're actually right. you could break a light and kill somebody. well, maybe we should do it outside? >> guillermo: yeah, let's go outside. >> jimmy: excuse us for a second. we'll try it outside.

>> guillermo, you know what you're doing? >> guillermo: yeah, i know what i'm doing. follow me. >> thanks, guys. >> jimmy: wow. huh. let's see. oh. do you think you could knock one of these columns down with a football? >> absolutely, yeah. >> jimmy: great. do it. >> guillermo: no, no, jimmy. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: tom cannot knock down this column down. >> jimmy: why? >> guillermo: because the whole building can fall and it can kill a lot of people. >> jimmy: oh. right. you could knock the whole building down. gosh. all right. well, let's see. oh, i have an idea. followme, ys >>uier: uillanksgo. can you take us to 223 liberace lane? thanks. >> so where are we going?

>> jimmy: you'll see. yeah. just make a left right here. i think this is going to be a little safer out here. you know? just hang out for a minute. would you mind? >> should i bring the ball? >> jimmy: yeah, bring the ball. . see that window? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you think you could throw the football through that window? >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's see. >> guillermo: you've got this, tom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very well done. that was . >> thanks. >> whoa, whoa, whoa! what the hell is this? [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, no. oh, my gosh. >> jimmy. did you do that? >> jimmy: do you live here? >> you know i live here. >> jimmy: i didn't know. >> did you throw that? >> jimmy: no. he did. he threw it. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, my god.

hangm. -- >> hey. >> it's great to meet you, man. i'm like your number one fan. yeah, matt. matt damon. >> "we bought a zoo." >> jimmy: yeah, he was in that. >> amazing. >> a favorite of mine. >> jimmy: sorry about that, though. >> you threw it? >> jimmy: my friend tom threw it. we were just seeing how strong his arm is. and it turns out it's real strong. it went right through the window of your house. that's how strong his arm is. >> yeah. that's one of my kids' rooms. >> jimmy: i'm sure you've got a dust buster or something like that. good to sigh, man. we've got to get back to the show. we left the audience there. >> i'm sorry, pat. >> it's fine. it's matt. >> jimmy: it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. >> can i ask -- can i take a picture with you? do you mind? >> yeah, of course. absolutely. >> you don't have >> jimmy: it's a policy. what is this? this is your phone? >> yeah. >> jimmy: cute. >> i like animals, man. >> jimmy: all right. how do you want this? >> just regular -- my: just give it like a little -- one of those?

>> son of a bitch. >> jimmy: it slipped out of my hand. >> guillermo: good shot. >> what the [ bleep ], jimmy? >> jimmy: it was an accident. >> it wasn't an accident. >> jimmy: oh, you never had an accident you? never did anything wrong? >> i didn't say i never did anything wrong. idn'to somethi wng right now. i didn't throw something -- >> jimmy: this guy's crazy. he's out of control. >> can you hang on one second? i'm going do this really quickly. you've got to meet somebody. hold on. this will just take a sec. >> jimmy: let's get out of here. >> guillermo: yeah, let's go. what a loser, right? >> say hello to big tom and little tom. tommy? i sleep in the middle. it's like a body pillow. it's good for your back.s for y. hey.

>> jimmy: fun fact. matt lost his virginity to that doll that day. we'll be right back with a very special performance from the bathroom. jeff tweedy of wilco and his sons. - ( phone ringing ) - big button, and volume-enhanced phones. get details on this state program. visit right now or call during business hours.

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>> jimmy: thanks to tracy morgan. apologies to matt damon again for that whole tom brady misunderstanding even though it was his fault. you can join me back here from home tomorrow with samuel l. jackson and music from sean paul featuring tove lo. but first, before the great quarantine we had wilco booked on our show to promote their album "ode to joy." for obvious reasons we had to cancel. but lead singer jeff tweedy and his sons came one a very special performance from the bathroom at their house. you can watch the tweedy show every night at 10:30 eastern on their stuff in our house instagram account. and now with the song "evergreen" here are sammy, spencer, and jeff tweedy live from the lavatory. ♪

♪ where i travel ♪ i'll tell you what i've seen ♪ the good and the ♪ndhe heas t ha il tell you all about where i've been ♪ain ♪ now you might think it's a lie ♪ ♪ when i say i'm going to write ♪ ♪ but if i break my pen filling you in ♪ ♪ now, wouldn't that change your mind ♪ ♪ ever green ♪ evergreen ♪ have you even seen anything ad♪'lg bac fm whever

n the grass and i'lll ♪ youe n the reason i went away ♪ ♪ sometimes i wish you were the one ♪ ♪ who had left and i had stayed ♪ ♪ evergreen, evergreen ♪ have you even seen anything evergreen ♪ ♪ evergreen, evergreen n have you even seen ♪ ♪

>> thanks, everybody. thanks, jimmy. ♪ ♪

governor newsom with a