and don't forget jimmy kim el is live is back to its original time. jack black is on tonight ♪ pa, da, pa, pa, da, pa, pa, da, pa ♪ ♪ jimmy kimmel live >> from his house! >> jimmy: greetings. it is i, the alone ranger. we are back in our regular spot with an abbreviated version of our show. we'll be on for half an hour, followed by "nightline" and this will be the plan until the shackles come off. i hope you had a happy easter. we had one of those family dinner video conference -- this is what our easter was like. "unmute yourself. grandma, you have to -- we can't hear -- hit unmute!" it was less like an easter dinner and more like i was hosting a knohost

ing a non-celebrity reboot of "hollywood squares." easter's a tough one during a pandemic. every two minutes we're telling our kids to wash their hands. then all of a sudden we're like yes, go ahead and eat those jellybeans you found under a bush. our 5-year-old, jane, told my wife for real, i promise if i see the easter bunny i won't hug him. so some lifelong psychological traumas are definitely being formed here. i will say that as a parent easter makes you realize what a solid backstory santa claus has. santa lives at the north pole. he has elves who make toys. he flies around with reindeer. my kids asked where the easter bunny lives. i was like, i don't know. the sewer? this is good. this is what the easter bunny was up to in new jersey yesterday. [ siren ] >> whoa! oh, no. code red! >> jimmy: sorry, kids.

everything you believe is a lie. it looks like the president has another enemy inside his administration. and unfortunately, that enemy is dr. anthony fauci. dr. fauci was on cnn with jake tapper yesterday. jake asked him if casualties could have been prevented had the social distancing and stay at home orders been put in place sooner. and the answer was not exactly what trump wants to hear his people saying. >> i mean, obviously, you could logically say that if you had a process that was ongoing and you started mitigation earlier you could have saved lives. obviously, no one is going to deny that. >> jimmy: well, the president is. the president is definitely going to deny that. trump was obviously not pleased. he retweeted a post yesterday that included the hashtag "time to fire fauci." every time someone tells the truth he gets mad. is that a good sign? this tweet was written by a woman who is the author of a dating guide called "making love great again," which sounds like a text trump would send his doctor after getting his cialis

prescription refilled. "making love great again." a spokesperson for the white house said the media chatter is ridiculous and that trump is not firing dr. fauci. so he is definitely firing dr. fauci. if dr. fauci wants to keep his job, he'd better find a way to blame this virus on hunter biden and quick. maybe it wouldn't be so bad, though, if trump fired fauci. i for one might enjoy seeing daily updates from dr. joseph exotic. on march 24th, which was less than three weeks ago, the president said he expected the country to be back up and running by easter. but here's the thing. he didn't say which easter. maybe he meant next year or the year after that. trump has no idea when the country will be open for business again, but that doesn't stop reporters from continually asking when the country will be open again. >> i want to get it open as soon as we can. we have to get our country open, jeff. >> what metrics will you use to make that decision? >> the metric's right here. that's my metrics. >> jimmy: his tanning bronzer is

his metrics? if my face is orange, the country will stay closed. but if we see it shift to tangerine, game on. and while it would undoubtedly be dangerous to let people go back to work prematurely, the president seems convinced we're going to die either way. >> i just want to say that you know, you talked about couldn't it lead to death. meaning you open up and it leads to death. but you know what? staying at home leads to death also. >> jimmy: maybe you've seen the movie "a nightmare on elm street"? freddie gets a hold of you, you're right in bed, you're done. meanwhile, in the effort to end the era of trump, senator bernie sanders today officially endorsed joe biden in a joint livestream. and that's a very powerful message for the country. if two 80-year-old men can successfully log into a zoom meeting, anything is possible. sanders said while he and biden have real differences and they're not going to paper over them, they need that paper for the bathroom, he will do everything he can to help joe win the election.

>> i'm asking every democrat, i'm asking every independent, i'm asking a lot of republicans, to come together in this campaign to support your candidacy. i endorse. >> all right, chuck, thank you very much. >> jimmy: chuck? oh, no. well, now all the democrats have to do between now and november is keep joe biden in a mylar bag like they do with vintage comic books. schools have been closed for a month now and a lot of students are finishing the year online, which means a lot of parents are suddenly in the 7th and 8th grade again. every parent i know is complaining about having to do algebra, geometry, social studies, all those things we bs-ed our way through the first time around are back to bite us on the home school ass. but fortunately, help is here. our very own guillermo is very good at this sort of thing. not too many people know this, guillermo scored a perfect 1600 on his s.a.t. so grab your children because here he is now, your tv tutor. it's time for homework corner.

>> guillermo: hello and welcome to "homework corner with guillermo." today's problem is a car travels at 65 miles per hour. how far it will travel in 90 minutes? okay. so i think -- miles an -- okay. you get 65 miles in 90 minutes. okay. well, i think you should not be driving right now because of the coronavirus. so stay home. >> jimmy: that's right. who can argue with that? we've got a good show for you tonight. we're going to meet a healthcare hero from new orleans and we'll be right back with this

gentleman. that's right. the inexplicably sexy jack black will be with us when we return. >> from his house! >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by jim beam. way more than you think. check out this game. yes... galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends- what if i want to show my friend this little guy? calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g.

wait a minute, are you bored? obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. with galaxy 5g (yelling) it's like being there. without being there. ♪ you're not using too much, are you hon? without being there. nope... charmin ultra soft is so soft you'll have to remind your family they can use less. charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. don't worry, there's plenty left for you, dad. we all go. why not enjoy the go with charmin? more than ever, your home is your sanctuary. that's why lincoln offers you the ability to purchase a new vehicle remotely with participating dealers.

an effortless transaction- all without leaving the comfort- and safety of your home. that's the power of sanctuary. and for a little extra help, receive 0% apr financing and defer your first payment up to 120 days on the purchase of a new lincoln. this is gonna be america's favorite breakfast. they just don't know it yet. (ding) these are a few of my favorite things. you order a breakfast sandwich and that's when wendy's makes it. not weeks... or months ago. try your new favorite. order by 10 and we'll even deliver it.

try your new favorite. -oh, pete!?! -c'mon man. what? we said pantyhose right? here, eat this..... creamy snickers®. you could use a little smoothness. pete? pete zagarene? get smooth with the fresh-ground nut butters in creamy snickers®. in these uncertain times, look after yourself, your family, your friends. but know when it comes to your finances, we are here for you. what can i do for you today? we'll take a look at the portfolio and make adjustments. i'm free to chat if you have any more questions. our j.p.morgan advisors are working from home to help guide you through this. for more than 200 years, we've helped our clients navigate historic challenges. and we will get through this one... together. ♪ ♪ eveso we can stillg a answer your calls. now. and we are monitoring our system 24/7 to ensure that we have a fast reliable network,

keep the customers connected, and making sure people are staying safe. and we're still on the road. solving critical issues as they arise. ♪ go to xfinity.com/prepare. thank you. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. tonight, we will salute our healthcare hero of the week. she is a nurse from new orleans who is on the frontline fighting covid-19. tomorrow night george stephanopoulos will join us from his covid quarantine. he announced today that he has the coronavirus. i think we might check in on my aunt chippy tomorrow. and later this week, we'll hook up with jason bateman and seth rogen too. so please join us for that.

our guest tonight is a supremely talented actor and singer. he is on loan from the devil himself, joining us from his very own house of rock, please say hello to jack black. hi, jack. >> jimmy! >> jimmy: you look good. how are you doing? >> i'm doing well. yeah. i got my best shirt on for you. i don't usually dress it doesn't feel right without a big "jimmy kimmel live" entrance. do you mind if i start over? do an entrance? >> jimmy: yeah, i'd be happy to do that. you do have the best entrances maybe of any guest ever. so what do you want me to do? >> do you have the band? can the band play some music for me if i enter? >> jimmy: yes. well, we'll get some music going for you. sure. all right. okay. all right. i guess i should introduce him again. our guest tonight is a talented actor and singer who's down the hall at his house.

joining us from castle black, please welcome jack black! ♪ >> yeah! ♪ >> ah! ♪ ♪ yeah >> jimmy! >> jimmy: still the king. >> oh, sorry. >> jimmy: there's more? >> i got some wires crisscrossed. >> jimmy: i hope that was one of your sons. either that or there are random children wandering around your house. >> that was my boy tommy.

getting in on the act. he was shooting off a nerf mega blaster. >> jimmy: jack, when i was a kid growing up in brooklyn, there was a kid named tommy black who lived around the block and he used to beat me up every single time he saw me. that's true. >> no kidding. wow. you had a little flashback? >> jimmy: yeah. tommy black and eddie fahey. you don't have an eddie fahey living there, do you? >> no eddie fahey. but let me say eddie, tommy, the ones who terrorized jimmy, turn over a new leaf. if you haven't already. i'm sure you have. >> jimmy: jack, i very much, as many people did, enjoyed the video you made for tik tok. that dance really i think set the planet on fire. in a good way. >> you know, honestly, i feel like that's the one thing i can do to contribute during this

tough time. if i can -- i'm still out of breath from that sexy dance. but i feel like if i can bring some smiles during these tough times that is in its own little way a contribution. that's our job, jimmy! we've got to try to keep the giggles coming. >> jimmy: you are this generation's sammy davis jr. in so many ways. you're a real showman. >> that's the highest compliment you can pay me. you didn't know this about me but i'm a huge sammy davis jr. fan. named my first boy sammy. >> jimmy: because of sammy davis jr.? >> yeah. he is the ultimate triple threat showman of the century. sammy davis jr. thank you, man. >> jimmy: first concert i ever went to, sammy davis jr. >> no kidding! was it amazing? >> jimmy: in las vegas. i was 14 years old. yeah. wow. we're really getting out a lot

of old memories. ♪ make a groovy lemon pie hey, jack, are you helping your sons, sammy and tommy, with their homework? are they doing the home schooling? >> you know i am. and all you parents out there know what we're talking about. the home schooling. you want to keep them up on their reading, writing, arithmetic. and i was never very good with my studies in school. i got a lot of sleeping done when i was in class. but we're doing our best here. i built my boy a computer desk so that he could do his online schooling. >> jimmy: really? >> and that was a challenge. yeah. usually -- i think a normal person would have been able to do that in about 25 minutes but it took me about three days. >> jimmy: did you build it or did you assemble it? >> well, i mean, it's like a lego set, you follow the directions. i assembled it.

but i mean i used a skcrewdrive. there were nuts and bolts involved. >> jimmy: was there a saw involved? because that's a whole different category. >> there was no sawing. okay? >> jimmy: all right. >> how easy it should have been. but i got it done. that's all that matters. i got it done. >> jimmy: jack, i heard you have three tortoises living in the house. we're talking big tortoises or what? >> yeah. we've got three desert tortoises living in our house. this is our animal kingdom here. tommy, are you here? can you bring lady up? they were inherited from my wife's mom, ellen. she gave us these little tortoise eggs, and they hatched. and now we've got these creatures in our house. and we find out later they're going to live to be like 170 years old. they're going to way outlive us. which is weird. and they hibernate.

you probably didn't know this, but tortoises hibernate like bears. so they went to sleep around december something and they've been asleep this whole time, and they just woke up from hibernation like a day ago. and now they're looking around like, what happened? we went to sleep, everything was normal, now there's like a pandemic. so the tortoises are freaking out a little. tommy, can you bring leggy? >> jimmy: what's the tortoise's name? >> his name is leggy. and we named his leggy because when he was born he had a little trouble getting around on one foot. one of his feet was a little lame and we had to give him special nutrients and put -- hi, leggy. how are you doing? >> jimmy: oh. what's up, leggy? oh. >> leggy's got a very quiet voice there. >> hi. >> looking good.

>> jimmy: jack, each night we've selected a charity each night, our guests do, and then i make a donation to that charity. you picked the united way, right? ? yeah. great organization. >> jimmy: great for sure. jack wlrks we co jack, when we come back we'll meet a nurse from new orleans who's on the front line. would you like to help me greet her? >> i would love to meet this lady. >> jimmy: and she'll met leggy too. jack will be with us when we come back with our health care hero of the week.

to join artists from all over the globe for one special night in. we are one world together at home, united in the fight against covid-19. tune in april 18 to participate in this historic global event. step by step, we're going to figure this out. we're gonna find a way through this.

we're working really, really hard in hospitals, our nurses, our techs, all the docs. it's about staggering when people get sick so that the hospitals can cope. we're gonna go through an awful lot of these. all across puget sound, people have been stepping up and donating personal protective equipment. we stay at work. for you. you stay at home for us. just know we're all with you. thank you, thank you so much. thank you doctors & nurses. ♪

>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. our healthcare hero of the week this week is a "med-surge" nurse at ochsner medical center in new orleans. say hello to jennell melansun. -hole, hello, jennell. >> i'm so excited to be here. >> jimmy: we're excited to have you on. tell us what you're doing every day and how you go about doing it. >> i am a med-surge nurse at ochsner medical center in new orleans. every day we take care of patients who've basically been diagnosed with covid-19. we try to get them to be as healthy as possible and just get them back into the normal swing of life. >> jimmy: jennell, i want to introduce you to my friend jack black who's standing by from his house. >> hi, jack! >> jennell, hello. >> hi. >> thank you for your hard work in these tough times. >> thank you so much. >> are you taking care of people from my favorite city, nawlins?

>> oh, nawlins. thank you so much. it's my pleasure. take care of my city. >> jimmy: l, d tny eaer bun makeo yr house? >> they did. he did. i assume it's been more than one because they have candy everywhere, my kids. but unfortunately for my kids but fortunately for my patients, i had to work. so on friday, good friday, we did have an easter egg hunt at our house and they enjoyed it. so perfect. >> jimmy: that's nice. jennell, can i ask -- like with your patients, they're not allowed to have visitors, right? or family and friends are not allowed to come visit. so do you get closer to them as a result of that? >> oh, absolutely. we don't value family until things like this happen. and for myself, being a bedside nurse, i've always enjoyed family to be there so we can introduce ourselves, get to know each other more. but by family not being able to

visit it gives me the opportunity to become closer to my patients. i get to know what they did for a living or what they do for a living. things that they enjoy. we become closer. especially during this isolated time. >> jimmy: jennell, can we meet your family? i know you've got your kids there. who else is with you in the house? >> my mom, she's here. she's my biggest supporter. she helps me with my kids. i love her to death. she's like my best friend. but my kids, they're so excited to be on camera. so they may -- >> jimmy: put them on. and also, jennell, we have some things to thank you. postmates is providing a $10,000 gift card for you and your family to use as you see fit. so you know, go ahead and order up a lot of muffalettas or whatever you want to get there. we're also doing something for the hospital. >> we're also going to give gift cards to everyone in the ochsner wing. >> they'll be so excited. thank you both. we really appreciate it. thank you so much. >> jimmy: there's no need to thank us.

we wanted to thank you for what you're doing there. let's see the kids before we go. >> i'm going to grab them just for a second. >> jimmy: okay. >> say hello. >> hello. >> say hi. >> jimmy: here we go. hi. >> hello! >> can you say hello? >> hello. >> hello. >> jimmy: thank you all. causee' got a whole house of them. >> leggy wants to say hi. that's leggy. he's a tortoise. >> jimmy: thank you, jennell. thank you, jack black. thank you, leggy. and thank you, kids. jennell, jack black, that's our health care hero of the week. if you have somebody you'd like to nominate, #healthcarehero and we'll find you. we'll be right back. ♪ to be a teacher.d i've been teaching for over 20 years. with everything going on, we've had to alter our classroom settings. we have to transition into virtual learning. on the network, we can have teachers face-to-face with a student in live-time. they can raise their hand and ask questions.

they can type questions. we just need to make sure that the education is continuing. (vo) at verizon, we're here and we're ready to keep students and teachers connected to the world. that's why verizon and "the new york times" are offering 14 million students free digital access to "times" journalism. it's so cheesy, you'll need a pick up line to go with it. like, "did it hurt... when all that cheese fell from heaven and landed on you?" it's not delivery. it's digiorno. now with more cheese. this is my body of proof. it'♪ digiorno. proof i can fight moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. proof i can fight psoriatic arthritis... ...with humira. proof of less joint pain... ...and clearer skin in psa. humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections,

including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. humira is proven to help stop further joint damage, ...and it's the #1-prescribed biologic for psa. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira citrate-free.

and healthcare troops weand first responders are. on the front line fighting it every day. let's join the fight, by staying home. staying home is not a retreat, it's the most brave and aggressive weapon we have against this enemy. because when we do stay at home, we help prevent overwhelming our hospitals, while buying time for scientists to find the vaccine... and that's how we beat it.... ♪ >> jimmy: that's all the time we

have. i want to thank jack black and jennell. apologies to matt damon. join us tomorrow night with george stephanopoulos. "nightline" is next. now if you'll excuse me i'm going to the kitchen to eat a whole jar of nut butter. and i'm not even going to sit down. good night. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, state of testing. across america a game of catch-up on covid-19. to quarantining the sick, spotting those with immunity, and jumpstarting the economy. with some taking matters into their own hands. >> i think now it's got to be all hands on deck. plus, testing unknowns. dr. jen ashton and tom bossert on what we do and don't know about antibodies and the government's plan to reopen the country. >> announcer: "nightline" starts right now. with juju chang. good evening. thanks for joining us. tonight the covid-19 death toll in the u.s. surpassing 23,000. with every state reporting at

least one fatality. despite the