tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 14, 2020 11:35pm-12:06am PDT
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appreciate your time. >> right now ♪ ba, da, ba, ba, da, ba, ♪ ba, da, ba, ba, da,ba ♪ jimmy kimmel live this is ridiculous. >> his house. >> jimmy: hello, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of this. thank you for watching. special thanks for all the online criticisms of my home. keep 'em coming. they're really helpful. this is kind of funny. i guess this is the bright side of the "stay at home" order. i got an email from costco today, saying they had a package, and the delivery window was from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. a seven-hour delivery window. and for the first time maybe in my life, i was like "no problem. in fact, if you need to stretch it to six, 6:30-midnight, fine, you don't even have to let me know.
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i will be sitting right here. by the door. waiting for you." people have been staying at home and ordering stuff. this is good. this actually happened to me once, with a 26 foot moving truck someone captured this on their ring camera. an amazon delivery guy forgot to put his truck in park, and then he brought the item to the door. and was pretty relaxed, until he's pretty relaxed. rings the bell. even walking back to the truck, pretty relaxed. until, he realized the truck started rolling backwards down the street. last we checked, he's still chasing it. in politics, which are happening, whether we like it or not, a very big name weighed in today, on the race for president. >> hi, everybody? where the hell have you been? did you not see the o'bat
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signal?. it's been flashing for like two years. >> jimmy: as was expected, barack obama officially endorsed his former vp for p. obama, who has been in quarantine since, january of 2017, posted a 12 minute video on twitter. and you can see, he looks older. every time i see him, it feels like he's visiting from the future to warn us about something. obama gave biden a hearty endorsement, and he had kind words for bernie sanders too. he described bernie as "an american original," which sounds good, i guess, but realistically, you could say the same thing about mountain dew code red. some are saying obama's endorsement came late, given that he waited until joe biden had the nomination. it's like endorsing tom brady for quarterback of the buccaneers. but obama has been off windsurfing or something. he had to wait for a breeze. to bring him into shore. meanwhile, donald trump just got an endorsement from a president too, himself. it was another manic monday for old yeller, who gave an all-timer of a press conference yesterday. he was almost foaming at the mouth.
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he was huffing and puffing so much, you'd think he'd just done a sit- up. he's very upset. he is upset, not about the death toll, or the lack of ventilators, masks, tests, etcetera, etcetera. he's upset because he doesn't want blame, he wants credit. blame bad, credit good. and that's what he wants. he went on for two hours and 24 minutes, yesterday, with no intermission. in case you missed it, we whittled it down to the best of the worst. >> i don't mind being criticized, but not when you're wrong. the whole network, the way you cover it is fake. it's a fake newspaper, and they write fake stories. and most of you, mott anot all , but most of you. you have a lower approval rating. >> why are there no consequences for china.
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what are the consequences? >> i wouldn't tell you. you'd probably be the last person on earth i'd tell. the president of the united states calls the shots. when somebody's the president of the united states, the authority is total. >> but who told you the president has the total authority? >> jimmy: like an angry parent. you underestimate the power of the orange side. so he's handling things well, but this is what happens when he goes a week without golf. trump is battling with the governors now. he insists that the president calls all the shots, which is, of course, not true, and totally contrary to the longtime position of the republican party, which believes strongly in states rights. you can't embrace the confederacy and the total authority of the federal government at the same time. it's like thanos having an iron-man themed birthday party. you just don't do it. so after trump went on his power trip, a reporter from "politico," had the good sense to ask mike pence, who was governor of indiana, what he thinks.
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>> this is a question for mr. vice president. do you agree with the president's statement and his understanding of federalism, that his power is total? is there anything you'd like to add or in context you'd like to add to the way he was discussing that? >> i support the president's leadership under the national emergency declaration he signed. >> jimmy: he looks scared, doesn't he? i thought robots weren't supposed to show fear? i guess they haven't worked out all the kinks yet. trump made history yesterday. he did something i don't believe any president has done before. he brought a video for the press to watch. like a lazy substitute teacher. propogrampa had his staff, cut together a video, designed i guess, to make him look good and them look bad. but it seems like it had the opposite effect. >> we have a few clips that we're just going to put up. we can turn the lights a little bit lower. i think you'll find them
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interesting. please, you can put it ♪ ♪ >> so we could give you hundreds of clips like that. >> jimmy: please do. maybe he'll finally get that emmy he wanted. by all accounts, it was the likes of which no reporter, seems to have ever seen. but in fairness, in the interest of equal time, trump's unhinged performance did receive one rave
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review. >> i've seen a lot of the president's briefings, i feldhe few of them myself, today was one of his best. >> jimmy: he's not going to come to your birthday party, sean. when are you gonna get that through your head? trump is not just talking up a storm, he's also tweeting one. why he is doing this? i have no idea. there is no reason for it, but he was on the offensive again today, lashing out. he wrote, "tell the democrat governors that 'mutiny on the bounty' was one of my all time favorite movies. a good old-fashioned mutiny every now and then is an exciting and invigorating thing to watch, especially when the mutineers need so much from the captain. too easy!" this is unbelievable, not only is he threatening not to help states with federal assistance, with our money, the captain from "mutiny on the bounty," in the end of that movie, was judged to be unfit to lead. in other words, the ship has hit the tan. most states are under shelter in place orders, only essential
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businesses are allowed to be open, and in florida, one of those essential business is the wwe. world wrestling entertainment. is essential, in florida. it's nice to know that even after all of this, florida hasn't lost its sense of being florida. wwe will continue to hold their matches, but without crowds. is professional wrestling without a crowd still even professional wrestling? at that point isn't it just an argument on a trampoline? just for this period of time, they should make wrestling real. why not? let they will fight it out. what do they have to lose? and one more thing, over the last several weeks, we have been shining a light on those who are finding creative ways to amuse yourselves and others while on lockdown. and with that said, here it is our "quarantime killer of the night."
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♪ >> jimmy: you know you're board when you're dreaming about riding amtrak. let's take a break. when we return, we'll be back with a man, who actually has the coronavirus. george stephanopoulos is standing by. so stick around. ♪ way more than you think. check out this game. yes... galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends- what if i want to show my friend this little guy? calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. wait a minute, are you bored? obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. with galaxy 5g (yelling) it's like being there. without being there. ♪
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saved his wife, george stephanopoulos. >> that is not how he sees it. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> this is a weird one. ali had a pretty tough case. she was in bed for a couple weeks. i've never had a fever, never had a cough, never had shortness of breath, no chills. the only thing i could think of is one day, a couple, now almost three weeks ago, had a little bit of lower back pain and went to bed early, and that was it. >> jimmy: that was it. >> no sense of smell for about a day, but that was like several weeks ago. and sense then, just nothing beyond that. >> jimmy: why did you end up getting tested? because you were planning to go back to work? >> yeah, i wanted to make sure eventually when i went back to work that i was absolutely negative.
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i was pretty priced thsurprised turned out positive. even the technician when she called to say so, she said we don't get it, my temperature was 97, oxygen 99. she says we were surprised too. but there you go. >> jimmy: but you are anchoring "good morning, america" from your dining room? >> yeah, i'm in the living room now. but i'm doing it in the dining room. >> jimmy: what is that like? has everything stopped in the house for that? >> therey're sleeping during gm time. but the dogs go nuts seeing a squirrel in the back yard. it's kind of worked around. >> jimmy: your number one issue right now is squirrels right now. >> squirrels and hair. >> jimmy: and hair. who is doing your hair? >> can't you tell? i'm doing it myself. >> jimmy: i'm doing mine as well. and it's embarrassing to even talk about who's doing your
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hair. but i know typically at your workplace, you have three people. one person who does your hair and one for each eyebr >> it takes a lot of work. >> jimmy: how are your daughters doing? >> they're watching us right now. sitting across the room. they're doing the distance learning thing on their laptops all day, complaining about homework, so you know everything's going well. and they've also turned me on to "love island." >> jimmy: oh, you're watching "love island", huh? >> yeah, right there. >> jimmy: we will take a break and come back and talk to ali
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frontline plus. step by step, we're going to figure this out. we're gonna find a way through this. we're working really, really hard in hospitals, our nurses, our techs, all the docs. it's about staggering when people get sick so that the hospitals can cope. we're gonna go through an awful lot of these. all across puget sound, people have been stepping up and donating personal protective equipment. we stay at work. for you. you stay at home for us.
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just know we're all with you. thank you, thank you so much. thank you doctors & nurses. >> jimmy: we are chat being with george stephanopoulos and ali. ali, you had it really bad, right? >> it's funny, because it's very indicative of our lives. i get corona and am deathly ill for three weeks with a high fever and sweating and achy and
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going crazy, like martin she shs in "apocalypse now", and george gets it and has no symptoms. >> jimmy: does that bother you that he wasn't able to smell cologne for about an hour? >> if i wasn't quarantined with him, we would probably take a separate weekend away? >> jimmy: did george take good care of you? how did it work? did you ring a bell when you needed something? >> he instinctually knew when i needed my temperature taken. he didn't have to bathe me or anything, but he brought me food and chicken soup. >> lemonade. >> and lemonade. he was actually a rock star. >> jimmy: oh, look at this. >> kids, kids! all right, we're home schooling. we're trying to raise a couple of makeup artists. >> jimmy: i know that's always been your dream. >> if we're that lucky.
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it's all about trade school now, jimmy. >> jimmy: ali, how long were you in your bedroom? how long were you confined to the bedroom? >> 16 days. >> i would say 16 days, yeah. >> jimmy: holy cow, and how do you handle that? what are you doing in there? >> first of all, you're basically focussed on getting healthy and getting well. so you're basically sleeping and taking tylenol p.m. and i watched all seven seasons of "mad men." and in my delirium, i thought i was married to jon hamm and he was cheating on me. >> jimmy: we assume there's no way you can get it now, right? because you've had it, you're okay. >> that is the assumption. >> we sure hope so. >> why, you want me to do your grocery shopping? >> jimmy: no, but die
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idea. you are invulnerable to the virus now. and that seems like a great thing to feel. >> if it's true. >> if it's true. >> yeah. >> believe me, people have been e-mailing me about things that they want me to pick up when i'm completely better. >> jimmy: have either of you heard from other coronavirus victims like tom hanks or idris elba or the virgin bachelor cult? >> i wish i heard from idris elba, but i did talk to people who had it, and they were really helpful telling me, make sure you drink a lot of orange juice and rest, and that kind of stuff was great, and i'm telling you right now on jimmy kimmel that can you dm me on instagram if you have it and you're scared
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and you want any sort of pointers. gayle king was like, where did you get it? and i said i have no idea, coy have gotten it from romaine lettuce. and she texted me back, do you think you could have got at any from romaine lettuce? people knew somebody. and they got all the information. >> jimmy: right. >> i heard from people i hadn't heard from in a cachilion years. >> jimmy: wouldn't it be interesting that if after all this we found out it was romaine lettuce behind this whole deal? >> no more caesar's. >> we're arugula people, so we really don't care. >> jimmy: i'm sorry you went through that, and george, i'm sorry you're not going through that, it would make for a more interesting segment. no, i'm happy you're not going through that. but each night i've asked our guests to pick a charity, we'll make a donation. what charity have you selected?
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>> this one's a great one. r.i.p. medical debt. and what they do is figure out a way for every dollar you donate, they retire $100 of somebody's medical debt. so every dollar in donation goes a long way, and we all now especially in the wake of this crisis there are going to be a lot more people facing surprise medical bills. this is a terrific charity. we've been big supporters for a while, and it does incredible work. >> jimmy: thank you both for being with us, the first couple of the coronavirus. a ali wentworth and george stephanopoulos. >> say hi to molly and the kids. >> jimmy: i will. you know, in these uncertain times we all need ways to destress. since we can't have a drink at a bar or go out, even the simple act of wrestling a stranger at a bus stop is impossible right now. we had to get creative. as a public service, here are
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sure time tips to relieve your quaran-tension. ignore your texts. number two, scream into the void. don't have a void? scream into your freezer or a pillow or a pet. number three. call your friends. that's an easy one. you can even do it on video chat like this. hey, guillermo, how's it going? >> guillermo: good. >> jimmy: okay. bye. >> guillermo: bye. >> jimmy: see, i feel better already, and if all else fails try calm, the trusted magnesium sum implement for 37 years. i want you to listen to it, too. you hear that fizz? that's the sound of your worries just melting away. >> guillermo: hey, jimmy.
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>> jimmy: oh, harkey, guillermo. >> guillermo: hey, jimmy, i was going to do some nothing, you want to do some nothing with me? >> jimmy: find natural vitality calm at select retailers. >> jimmy: i like nothing. >> guillermo: me too. (ding) these are a few of my favorite things. wendy's is changing the game from this... to a breakfast that eats other breakfasts for breakfast. who says you can't have a baconator for breakfast? don't just "grab a coffee..." grab a frosty-ccino instead. and forget that frozen-folded-egg-stuff. all of these have fresh-cracked eggs. one bite and it'll be your new favorite. guaranteed. (ding) try your new favorite today. we'll even deliver it. order by 10am. ♪ ...yeah. that liberty mutual customizes your insurance, i just love hitting the open road and telling people so you only pay for what you need! [squawks] only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪
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bateman, "nightline" is next. i miss you already. this is "nightline." >> tonight. covid-19 complications. unprecedented unemployment, tangled in red tape. >> so here i am. calling and calling. >> struggling to put food on the table. >> medical bills are just going to have to wait. >> millions of americans facing a new economic reality. >> it's the great righ >> ithe government doing enough? plus, fauci under fire. his years treat and lng us through some of the deadliest health emergencies in the world. >> i just want to hear from dr. fauci. >> now facing his biggest challenge yet. how his past work on hiv-aids is helping guide him through
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