i'm in a house doing a show, to no one. i'm starting to understand why mr. rogers started using puppets. a special hello to those of you who watched the disney family sing along tonight. i don't know about you, but for me every day is a disney family sing along. today marks one full month since kids have been home from school here in los angeles. more than anything, i miss that rush of endorphins you feel when the car door slams shut, and you peel out of the preschool parking lot like a duke of hazzard. my cousin sal and his wife decided they're sending their kids back to school on may 1st no matter what. even if it's closed. if it's closed, they can hang out by the hopscotch area until three o'clock. there is word now that students may take the sat and act tests from home this year. wow, if only felicity huffman had waited -- what does a college acceptance

letter even look like right now? "we are pleased to inform you you get to stay at home and send us word documents?" 95% of the country is under a stay at home order right now. and not everyone agrees with that. there have been protests in multiple states like ohio, michigan and kentucky. this one went on outside the ohio statehouse. and if you're curious what all that schmutz is on the window there, that's the coronavirus. so well done. the real problem is you can't make americans do anything. we just won't. if you tell us it to do something, we won't do it. we only exist because someone tried to make us pay extra for tea once. at the michigan state capitol yesterday there was another major demonstration. this protestor with her spelling of the word "governor" showed us how important it is that we get schools open asap. and if you're wondering why specifically these people are so angry that they would risk

extending this pandemic, i'll let this man explain it to you. >> i can't go between those houses. you can't buy paint or lawn fertilizer or grass seed? come on. >> jimmy: come on. that's right, folks, my lawn isn't going to paint itself! he's got the need for seed. the president has also been "working" from home. today he held what he described as a "major news conference" on the subject of getting business going again. trump is determined to reopen this country like a bankrupt casino. he had a conference call with all the state governors today. on the call, he outlined federal guidelines but told the governors that they will call their own shots. which is interesting because earlier this week, he said >> the president of the united states calls the shots. >> jimmy: in three days, he went from "i have absolute authority" to "you do you." trump laid out three major steps toward restarting the economy. number one: open the golf courses.

number two: open hotels that rhyme with "hump." and number three: all restaurants that serve food in buckets or in the form of nuggets are good to go. yesterday trump was asked why the decision was made to put his name on the stimulus relief checks. turns out, he had nothing to do with that at all. >> mr. president, why did you have your name added to these coronavirus relief checks? >> well, i don't know too much about it, but i understand my name is there. i don't know where they're going, how they're going. i do understand it's not delaying anything. and i'm satisfied with that. i don't imagine it's a big deal. i imagine people will be very happy to get a big fat beautiful check and my name is on it. go ahead, please. >> jimmy: yes, most people probably won't even cash them. they'll probably want to frame them, to hang on the wall over the precious moments figurines. my co-workers and i are fortunate that we have been able

to do a version of our show every night. but some of our staff is getting anxious. our announcer, dicky barrett, i think he's been at home too long. because he's starting to do weird things. >> dicky: this morning, it's breakfast at the house! with pancakes, scrambled eggs! turkey bacon! and a special musical appearance by bowl of blueberries! and now, the star of the show, chocolate milk! [ applause ] >> jimmy: kids, your father needs help. i'm glad we finally got to see what dicky looks like in a robe. and one more item before we press on. a glimmer of beauty in these grim and depressing times. this video -- was captured outside a home in philadelphia. a woman noticed her dogs looking at something outside the window.

so she grabbed her phone and lo and behold it was a groundhog eating a slice of pizza. which, i think means we have another two months of home confinement. the groundhog just kept chomping away for more than an hour. you've heard of punxatawny phil? this is quarantiny tim he looks like me every night for the last three weeks. some people are comparing this guy to the pizza rat. every time an animal is on video eating human food now you hear "move over pizza rat!" but here's a little reality check -- the pizza rat? that was five years ago. rats have a life expectancy of two years. he's dead people. the pizza rat is dead. sorry. is now a bad time for that information? anyway, thank you, groundhog, for bringing some joy to our lives. we need to take a break but we have a very special guest. it was his birthday yesterday. when we come back, seth rogen will join us. so don't leave, which you couldn't do anyway.

♪ (little girl) thank you, love you! (neighbors) thank you! thank you! [clinking and applause continues]

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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. make sure to join us next week with both thor and spiderman, chris hemsworth and tom holland. we'll have music from eob. and on monday 4/20 we will be joined by snoop dogg. do you think he'll be able to turn his webcam on on 4/20? speaking of 4/20, my guest tonight was hunkered down long before the government ordered him to be. he loves pot and pottery. please say hello to seth rogen. seth, thank you for checking in.

>> yeah, man, no problem. >> jimmy: how have you been? >> i'm okay, just cooped up at home-like everyone else. how are you holding up? >> jimmy: a little stir-crazy, but i'm doing okay. you know, with the kids here. >> macaroni and cheese, lots of ramen, stuff like that. >> jimmy: sorry, what? >> i do have enough toilet paper. worse comes to worse, i have a box of mclovin tee shirts in my garage from 2007. i can use those. >> jimmy: i didn't ask about toilet paper. seth, can you hear me? seth? >> yo, hey, how's it going? >> jimmy: hey. were you playing a prerecorded video of yourself? >> yeah, i've been doing a lot of zoom calls and i realized i don't actually have to be there for a lot of them. amazing what you can do with prerecording nowadays. i've been very productive.

>> jimmy: people are falling for this? >> yeah, i did a bar mitzvah and sold a pitch to paramount. >> jimmy: are you one of our nation's greatest minds. seth, you seem to be a person who is actually cut out for this stay at home thing. your hair, your beard, just the kind of stuff you're into, your hobbies. >> yeah, this has not been, i, we are not all in this together, because this has not been that bad for me. [ laughter ] this has been fine. i am built for this. i kind of have been self-isolating since 2009, to be totally honest. >> jimmy: i follow you on social media, and i notice you do a lot of pottery. is it all pottery? ceramics as well, yes? >> yeah, i do pottery, ceramics, i've smoked a truly ungodly amount of weed in the amount of time you've been quarantined. more than normal.

thank god's been deemed a sanction service. i would describe it as essential. so it's perfect. >> jimmy: do you do that while you're making pottery? while you're working on the wheel? you have a wheel, i assume. >> i have two wheels, i actually have three. so many of our friends wanted to do pottery, we got a literal third wheel to allow friends to do pottery with us. we have wheels, a kiln, we found a place that will deliver clay during this time of quarantine, so yeah. i started making soap dispensers, because i think that is apropos in this era we are in right now. >> jimmy: i like that. >> thanks. i've made a lot of them. here's another soap dispenser. they're pretty, here's another one i made. this is a lovely one. this is what happens. >> jimmy: you know, it's funny.

you have this beautiful, homemade object that you sculpted with your hands, and yet you have no choice but to put some piece of chinese plastic pump in the top of it. >> exactly. one day i'll learn to make these. next pandemic i'll learn to make actual pumps. >> jimmy: i would love to be your third wheel. i'd love to come over and maybe just the two of us take off our shirts and reenact the scene from "ghost." >> it gives us something to look forward to if they ever end this. >> jimmy: happy belated birthday. yesterday was your birthday. what do you do when you can't go anywhere? >> my wife had arranged for some of our friends to drive by our house and wave to me, which i realize for me is perfect. all i want is to see everyone for 15 to 25 seconds. i don't like to get too close. i'm more than happy to just go out, wave to my friends, speak to them for 15 seconds and everyone can go on their merry way. it's truly, again, i'm really built for this. the fact that i have no kids is

making this a truly not that bad thing. >> jimmy: this is something that gets a lot of discussion in our house, how jealous we are of people who are able to do what they want. >> i will be alone on my deathbed not having talked to anyone for 15 years, and i will be, it was worth it for that coronavirus [ bleep ]. me and my wife had a lovely time. >> jimmy: how are your parents doing? >> they're good. they're in canada, which is a slightly-better-functioning country. >> jimmy: i think that's their slogan, a slightly better functioning country. [ laughter ] are they taking it seriously? are they locked up? are they staying active? what are they up to? >> no, they're taking it serious, thank god. i think the nba being canceled is the thing that drove it home for my dad. if that hadn't happened he really wouldn't have accepted

it. that was the thing where he was like, okay, this is real. my mom has started doing zoom yoga classes. she's a yoga instructor and does yoga classes. >> jimmy: she is holding them. she is not just a part of them. she's running them. >> she is the instructor in the zoom yoga class. yeah. >> jimmy: do you do zoom yoga with your mom? >> i have attended a few zoom yoga classes with my mom. but the sound of one's own mother's voice is the least relaxing thing in the entire world. when you're doing yoga, there is no thing that is less calming than when your mother tells you to do it. >> jimmy: that makes sense. >> it's not that fun. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break and find out more about seth's life in incarceration when we come back. ♪ ♪

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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to my house. seth rogen is on the line with us. seth keeps very busy especially during this time of quarantine. last month you were watching the movie "cats", what was it, on pay-per-view? >> it was on itunes, i believe. >> jimmy: and you decided to live tweet along with it.

>> i did. i just found myself doing it. it wasn't a conscious decision. it was one of those things where i looked back and i was like, i've been doing this for an hour now. >> jimmy: it was a very big hit. people seemed to enjoy it very much. >> well, it seems like a lot of people have been harboring the feeling -- i'd never seen "cats" the broadway musical, i knew nothing about "cats." i was shocked. it was appalling. it makes no sense. it was crazy. as a film maker your instinct is to be this is a poorly-made movie, which it might be. but i do think that it is, it's based on nonsense. the play is nonsense. and it long supports a theory i have that when something is live you have a much lower tolerance for how good or bad it is. like there are things, like, and "cats" is a perfect example. that survived on broadway for like 40 years. it sucks. as soon as you commit it to film you see how it makes no sense. it's like you walk down the

street. you see a guy banging on buckets, and you watch that for an hour, but you wouldn't watch a film of that happening for an hour. like, in person, it's cool. but as soon it's been committed to some sort of film it has it to be much better, and "cats" did not seem to understand that at the time they made the thing. they thought oh, people go watch this live. it must be entertaining. into that's not true. just because you watch something live. i once saw a guy balancing a dishwasher on his chin. live, you're like, that's amazing. i wouldn't pay to go see that at the movie theater. >> jimmy: did you hear from any of the cast after you went through it? >> no, but a visual effects artist told me the greatest piece of news i'd ever heard that up until very close to release, all the cats had buttholes.

they realized very close to release that that was a potentially bad idea. i keep doing this. and they had the visual effects artist frantically erase all the buttholes from the cats in the weeks leading up to the release. that means somewhere out there exists out of that movie that is even crazier than the cut that was released in that every cat -- >> jimmy: oh, i hope there's a director's cut. >> the butthole cut. >> jimmy: we're going to try that on our show, actually. we're going to cgi out all the buttholes. >> exactly. >> jimmy: since we are going through a very difficult time, each night i'm going to be making a donation to a charity of our guest's choice, and you have a charity that you have been very active with for a very long time. tell us about that. >> um, well, we have a charity, hfc, my mother-in-law passed away not long ago from

alzheimer's, she had early-onset alzheimer's, since she was in her mid-50s. ever since then, we started a charity. my father-in-law was her caregiver for years and years and years, and he had help, people coming into his house to help care for her. and in times like this, caregivers have nothing. the people they generally rely on are not there. they are really alone. and one of the things we've done just recently is try to create more online support groups for people so they can share their pain and anguish in these times. and, you know, i think this virus has affected a lot of people in a lot of ways, but there were people already dealing with disease, and this has just made that time much harder. so hfc. >> jimmy: i know you do a for them. the website is wearehfc.org.

thank you, seth. you are a delight in every way. i appreciate you taking some time. >> no problem, my pleasure, jimmy, stay clean, wipe it down. >> jimmy: and something new and tips from home helps people in the service industry get back to work without having to leave their house. now i'll tell you how. we are inviting a bar tender every week to mix a delicious cocktail using ingredients you probably already have. it's time for this week's cocktail de la casa featuring gin. >> hi, everybody. i'm eric bennett from birmingham, alabama. if you're like me you probably have a lot of time on your hands and some stuff in your refrigerator. we're going to make the pickle me up. grab your favorite pickles. we're going to use a quarter ounce of that pickle brine, then a teaspoon of maple syrup.

that will sweeten up the cocktail just a little bit. instead of bitters, a little hot sauce. and finally, an ounce and a half of london dry gin. little ice. now let's shake it up. we're going to stream this cocktail into a coop glass. you can pour it into a martini glass or coffee mug. nobody will notice. of course we'll garnish it with a pickle. there you have it, pickle me up. >> jimmy: visit gives.com/tips from home, we'll be right back. i have moderate to severe pnow, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer, yeah i feel free ♪ ♪ to bare my skin ♪ yeah that's all me. ♪ nothing and me go hand in hand ♪ ♪ nothing on my skin

♪ that's my new plan. ♪ nothing is everything. keep your skin clearer with skyrizi. 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. of those, nearly 9 out of 10 sustained it through 1 year. and skyrizi is 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. ♪ i see nothing in a different way ♪ ♪ and it's my moment so i just gotta say ♪ ♪ nothing is everything skyrizi may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. before treatment your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms such as fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or coughs, or if you plan to or recently received a vaccine. ♪ nothing is everything ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. ♪ (vo) thank you to all the front line heroes for leading this fight. for early mornings, late nights, double shifts, and overnights,

for calloused hands and skin scrubbed raw. and for being brave enough to go to work today. thank you, from all of us cheering you on. [overlapping applause and cheers]

♪ jimmy kimmel live from his house!

>> jimmy: before we go, i've been getting all kinds of weird and wonderful questions to my new email address i set up. it's hellojimmykimmel@gmail.com. hellojimmykimmel@gmail.com so i first, i got a lot of requests for shout-outs but this one stood out. i want to wish jim and judy parker of conway, arkansas a happy 50th wedding anniversary. now go make love, you two rascals. flank thanks to seth rogen. "nightline" is next. now, please, get out of my house before i call the police.