thank you so much for joining ♪ ba, da,ba pa, ba, da, pa ♪ "jimmy kimmel live"! this is ridiculous. from his house! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm your host, and, if you'll let me be, your online pilates instructor too. we'll get to that later. here we are again. thank you for watching. on what is a very special day at my house. it is our son billy's third birthday. we are very grateful to the doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists and everyone who worked to save his life three years ago this week at cedars-sinai and children's hospital here in l.a. billy is donating a thousand n95 masks to children's hospital to thank them. he doesn't know he is, but he is. the only mask billy knows about

is a spider-man mask, which he wears constantly. he is non-stop with spider-man. all day and night. he sleeps with him. billy is obsessed with two things, spider-man and the word "diarrhea." and i am going to surprise him with one of those tonight. speaking of spider-man, the comic book world is mourning this week. because of the coronavirus, san diego comic con has been officially cancelled for the first time in its 50-year history. that's the bad news. the good news is if you still want to pack into a building with a bunch of other people wearing masks, you can just go to any trader joe's. cancelling comic con is a shame. people look forward to it all year, but it was definitely the right call. the only thing that would be worse than getting the coronavirus would be getting it because a guy dressed like loki sneezed on your nachos. a city worker in tampa made a surprising discovery over the weekend. like most places, the public parks there are shut down. but a warden discovered a guy working out at a park downtown,

and that guy turned out to be tom brady, the new quarterback for the buccaneers. and, this is the best part, she kicked him out. and look, i know that we need to be safe, and high profile people have a responsibility to encourage responsible behavior, but i still feel like this is one of the few times it would have been appropriate to say, "do you know who i am? i'm tom f-ing brady! god sent me to win you guys a super bowl. you should be staying in your house to keep me safe!" anyway, tom brady is at the park working out. and his friend gronk is coming with him. why, i do not know. is football even coming back? i have a sneaking suspicion tom doesn't realize he's living in florida because he retired last month. a lot of people are working hard during this time, and one group who i feel is not getting enough praise are the people who work at grocery stores. they are putting their health at risk so we can hoard oreos. but the employees at kroger in a number of cities did get an

incredibly generous perk for their gallantry. a flier was circulated that said as part of their "associate appreciation program," "to support the hard work of the kroger associates, they are offering all pepsi 20 ounce soft drink products for only one dollar each." limit two per transaction. dr. pepper not included. well, of course, dr. pepper is not included. he is on the front lines fighting the virus! so there you go. more beauty in the face of adversity. thank you for all you mountain dew. meanwhile, there are reports that north korean leader kim jong un is in bad shape health-wise. he is reported to be in "grave danger" after complications following a heart procedure. but because everything with him is very secretive, no one knows for sure. one of the reasons they suspect kim jong un is not well is because last week, he missed the most important holiday in north korea, a birthday celebration for his late grandfather. and that's especially alarming,

because he is not one to miss the chance to eat cake. a south korean news site reported that kim had heart surgery due to complications from "excessive smoking, obesity and overwork." see, that's why our president doesn't smoke and never works. he's smart. maybe kim jong un just got tired of the whole evil dictator thing, and decided to start a new life. he's gonna turn up 30 years from now running a bed and breakfast in vermont. and, of course, this has to be especially scary for president trump. kim jong un is probably his best friend. you know, they met many years ago at chubby dictator camp. trump was up bright and early this morning to remind us that there is an "i" in pandemic. and he's it. he tweeted "i've had great "ratings" my whole life, there's nothing unusual about that for me. the white house news conference ratings are "through the roof," but i don't care about that. i care about going around the fake news to the people!"

right. only donald trump would say he doesn't care about ratings, while bragging about his ratings. but it wasn't all lashing out. in fairness, trump did try to lift spirits yesterday. he actually told a pretty funny joke. >> please, go ahead. no, i think right behind you. i promise, i cannot tell a lie, so we'll get to you next, okay? >> jimmy: that's a good one. and guess what? he didn't get her next. he went to someone else. and then, moments later, he lied again. >> held rallies in february and march, and there are some -- >> i don't know about rallies, i really don't know about rallies. i haven't left the white house in months, except for a brief moment to give a wonderful ship "t "the comfort." >> you held a rally in march. >> did i hold a rally? >> jimmy: did i hold a rally in

an enclosed space, even though i now claim to have known it was dangerous? yes! do i have an advent calendar counting down the days until i can hold my next one? you bet your dirty mask i do! he held rallies in february and march, and he left the white house four times in march, including a trip to mar a lago. mar a lago, by the way, laid off 153 workers today. in addition to the 560 laid off at trump's miami resort. maybe this is why he is so anxious to open for business again. he is getting hurt. this gives you a sense of how things are going at the white house. the president's own coronavirus task force, members of his own team, are reported to be actively ignoring him. they say the vice poodle, mike pence, won't even sniff his butt. which, i don't know, that doesn't make any sense to me. why would they ignore a president who has so many great ideas? remember when he wanted to nuke the hurricane? you probably think i'm joking, but go ahead and google that. i have a lot of questions about the president's task force and the mixed messages we've been getting about staying home, so we reached out to the white house and believe it or not, they connected us with the chief

medical advisor to the white house coronavirus response team, i am honored to welcome dr. anthony fauci. hello doctor, dr. fauci? dr. fauci? >> hello, hello? can you hear me on this? hello? >> jimmy: yes, we can hear you, but i thought i was speaking to dr. fauci. >> dr. fauci isn't with us any longer. >> jimmy: what? why? >> the president respects disagreement. and he respects dr. fauci so much that he's been sent to a big farm upstate where he can run around a field all day with other doctors. i'm the new leader of the task force. >> jimmy: and you are? >> dr. solomon zaius. >> jimmy: as in dr. zaius, the diabolical minister of science from "planet of the apes?" >> i've done other movies too.

>> jimmy: ok, well dr. zaius -- wait, what other movies have you done? >> i was in "jumanji." maybe you've heard of it. >> jimmy: okay. anyway dr. zaius, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get this job? >> family connection. the president's mother. mary was my nana's sister. >> jimmy: so your mother was his mother's sister. but you are an -- >> orangutan? yes. >> jimmy: wait, so that means donald trump is -- >> half. he's only half orangutan. of course he is. no human could have fantastic orange hair like that. >> jimmy: that explains a lot. so, doctor, since you are now the guy, what are your suggestions for stopping this covid-19?

>> first of all, for humans, this is very important. you must wear a mask. >> jimmy: you find masks are most effective against spreading the virus? >> no, but they are very effective in covering up your ugly faces. you tee'd me up for that one jim! but seriously, your face is disgusting. >> jimmy: thank you. joking aside, i think what we really want to know is, how long before we can leave our homes? >> why? so you can once again befoul the environment with your fossil fuels? destroy the forests with your insatiable greed? contaminate the oceans with heaps of plastic detritus and make war over imbecilic differences of religion and race? >> jimmy: yes. >> i'd say three to six months. >> jimmy: oh, great. anything else you would like to share?

>> yes, this is important. no more masturbating in public! >> jimmy: we don't really -- that's more of an ape thing. that's not really something humans do. >> you don't? >> jimmy: no. >> well, you're missing out. >> jimmy: all right, well that's the new head of something. i don't know. when we come back we'll be joined by tom holland. >> wash your hands, you damn dirty human! that's why lincoln offers you the ability to purchase a new vehicle remotely with participating dealers. an effortless transaction- all without leaving the comfort- and safety of your home. that's the power of sanctuary.

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>> jimmy: you're very big. you're gettin' big! >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. a quick note, tomorrow night in primetime, i am hosting a new episode of "who wants to be a millionaire" featuring anthony anderson and jane fonda playing for their favorite charities. watch that at 10/9 central here on abc. on this show tomorrow, i will be chatting with the mighty thor chris hemsworth all the way from the land down under. and on thursday, my guests will be arnold schwarzenegger and ed norton. the terminator and the hulk. our guest tonight is a super-talented super hero, who by day helps run his family charitable foundation, the brothers trust. he is social distancing all the way from a place called england. please say hello to tom holland. hi, tom. >> hey, how you doin', jimmy. nice to see you, mate. >> jimmy: thanks for doing this. tell us about your living situation right now. >> i am in london, i'm living with all my pals. normally when we do your show we do a live audience.

we couldn't obviously have a live audience now online. i actually have my own live audience. [ laughter ] >> so the laugh track will be provided by harrison. >> jimmy: they've been with you how long? >> harrison and i have lived together maybe four years. >> jimmy: i mean as far as -- >> oh, the quarantine. we've been on lockdown in london for about a month, yeah. >> jimmy: how are you getting along? are there any issues that need to be worked out? >> not really, because we're all drunk all the time, so, not really. no. >> jimmy: that helps. >> we're lucky enough. we can't really complain. we have a lovely outdoor space. and the weather in london's been really nice. we're all good. we can't complain.

>> jimmy: are you getting things done at all? is it productive? >> harry and i have been working on the script we've been working on together, we sent that out yesterday to the first bunch of producers, which is actually more nerve-wracking than anything i've ever done in my career, because i'm worried that they're going to actually find out that i'm stupid and i can't spell anything. but we've been doing that, playing a lot of playstation and watching a lot of films and catching up on film history, and like i said, drinking a lot. i actually said this weekend i was going to stop drinking for a week, i was going to have a week off. and literally monday morning, i've got my prop. ryan reynolds sent me a case of gin. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i was like i'm not drinking the whole week, and the door bell rang and there was a case.

it says friendly neighborhood spider gin. love ryan. >> jimmy: if i'm wrong, correct me, but i believe you were supposed to start shooting "spiderman" in july. is that still the plan? >> i'm not too sure. i'm not too sure. i was in berlin making a film called "uncharted" with mark wahlberg. we got shut down and sent home. whether we shoot that movie first or "spiderman" first, i'm unclear. but both movies are being made and they're both really strong and whatever happens, happens. i've played spiderman, i'm ready to go. >> jimmy: i'm speaking with thor tomorrow, and i was wondering if you've been video chatting with your fellow avengers. >> i spoke to jake gyllenhaal the other day. we were chatting about doing a

peloton class together. but we've also been doing these pub quizzes, these massive pub quizzes. we've done one with a cherry crew. and the rooster brothers have been involved. the winner has to design the quiz for the following week. i by some miracle won last week and had to do it this week. but the problem with the quiz is you need to know the answers to the questions you're asking people. >> jimmy: right. >> and if you don't that doesn't really work. i got the answers wrong that i thought were right. so i was asking people questions and the answer is so-and-so, and people were like, no. one of them was who was the second president. and i'm a really big fan of "hamilton", but not that big of a fan obviously. i thought thomas jefferson was the second president, and that wasn't true at all. so i looked like a complete idiot. i face timed downey a couple

days ago, and he was in the bath. >> jimmy: how romantic. you were going to do this quiz as part of your charitable foundation your family has put together. that's your goal is to make it a fund raising? >> we feed towards charities we think need the light and support, but we felt uncomfortable asking people for money at this time. so we as a collective are doing the donations. the reason we're doing the pub squ quiz is to bring people together and have a laugh, that's essentially what we're trying to do. >> jimmy: can you go to brotherstrust.org to learn more about that. speaking of uncomfortable, i have a favor to ask of you. my son billy turns 3 years old today. >> okay. >> jimmy: we watch both of your

spiderman movies over and over again. and we promised him the real spiderman was going to come to his party. we were going to hire a guy in a suit. but now nobody's coming to his party. i was wondering if you'd say hello to him. i can't guarantee it's going to register. would you mind? >> absolutely. no problem. >> jimmy: we'll take a break and tom holland is with us. we'll surprise my son billy, too. ♪ >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by bose head phone 700, the most advanced noise-canceling headphones. ♪ and you say ♪ as long as i'm here ♪ no one can hurt you ♪ don't wanna lie here

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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. these are my kids, jane and billy. billy, is this your birthday? >> spidey. >> jimmy: this is spiderman, how old are you, spidey? >> 2067 . >> 20. >> jimmy: you're not 2067. who did we say was going to come to your birthday party? >> spidey. >> jimmy: the real spiderman? >> yeah. >> i want you to say hi to somebody. >> hi. >> jimmy: does that guy look familiar to you? >> hey, what's up, billy? >> jimmy: is that spidey?

>> let me take this off so i can see you better. hey, billy, how you doon? >> jimmy: wow, can you believe me? >> my name's peter parker, i live in queens, new york. where do you live, you know? >> we live in california. >> jimmy: jane, what did you say about peter parker's face? >> cute. >> jimmy: she said you have a cute face. >> thank you so much. i appreciate that. that's very kind of you. >> jimmy: are you mad at me for saying that? but he likes it. it's nice. we were about to sing happy birthday to billy. are you going to help us with that? >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: shall we do that? ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ happy birthday, dear billy ♪ happy birthday to you >>jimmy: thank you, spiderman!

you're the best. i appreciate it. [ applause ] >> happy birthday, billy. >> jimmy: say thanks to spiderman. >> thanks, spiderman! >> you're welcome, see you next time guys, bye, bye, bye. >> jimmy: we'll be right back. p. step up. prep up. to help keep you free from the risk of hiv. from the makers of truvada, there's another prep option: descovy for prep. a once-daily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. it's not for everyone. descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. talk to your doctor to find out if it's right for you. step up. for health and body. prep up for your one and only love or many loves. for kings, this queen, and you royals in between. for my now. our now. and my future. our future. step up. prep up. descovy is another way to prep. descovy does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections, so it's important to use safer sex practices and get tested regularly. you must be hiv-negative to take descovy for prep.

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the last thing you should have is having enough toilet paper. please know we're working around the clock to get you more charmin. stay safe.

♪ >> jimmy: all right, that's all the time we have, we have a birthday party to have, right, billy? thanks to jean aane and billy, s to tom holland. tomorrow night, chris hemsworth. thanks for watching, "nightline" is next. >> we talked to peter parker! >> jimmy: you did. >> yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: isn't that awesome? >> that was awesome!

this is "nightline." >> tonight, lines of the times. for miles. the unprecedented pandemic hunger crisis, fleddi flooding banks, volunteers now filling the need to feed millions. >> i never thought i'd need help. >> but can they possibly keep up with demand. plus, feeding the front lines, restaurant with the right recipe to save those saving living, donating dishes and a dose of hope. and mother and child reunion. 25 days after giving birth, beating covid-19, a mother finally meets her baby. >> beautiful. >> "nightline" will be right back.