Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 23, 2020 11:35pm-12:06am PDT

11:35 pm
joining us tonight. >> around schwarzeneggar on jimmy kimmel. we appreciate yo ♪ ba, da, ba, da bar, ba, da,da, ba,ba ♪ ♪ jimmy kimmel live ♪ this is ridiculous. from his house! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm the host of this house. the reason i look like a my little pony is that today, in case you aren't aware, was supposed to be take your kid to work day, which is kind of every day for a lot of us now. they were originally planning to rename it "take your kids to the breakfast nook for a zoom meeting with no pants on day" for this year only, but decided to leave it alone. so, my daughter jane did my makeup tonight. are you going to do it? >> eye shadow. >> jimmy: eye shadow, ah-oh.
11:36 pm
>> yeah. oh, my gosh. ha, ha. you should look at yourself when you're done, okay? >> jimmy: mm-hm. i will. do i look beautiful? >> you look like a girl! >> jimmy: what do you think, guillermo, do i look like a girl? >> guillermo: a little bit, yeah. you look beautiful. >> jimmy: thank you, very much. and thank you, jane. who knew my color palette was jolly rancher. tonight was also round one of the nfl draft. it was supposed to be a big live event in vegas. but because of the coronavirus, they did a virtual draft with the players and teams making picks from home like a fantasy draft. the most interesting part was watching a bunch of 75-year-old billionaires try to figure out how to boot up their laptops. but it was nice to have some kind of current sports programming to watch. people don't know what to do with themselves right now. but it's important, if you can, to find small ways to maintain your normal routine. like this gentleman from new york did at a nearby parking lot.
11:37 pm
>> why? i'm not puttin' the window down. i got here first. this is my parking spot. i'm not [ bleep ]ing moving. go [ bleep ] somewhere else, i'm not moving. i took the shortcut. this is my [ bleep ] spot, and i'm not who havin' my car, good-bye. there's nobody there, i miss the days when i argued with someone over a parking spot. i miss the good old days. >> jimmy: i like that. a lot. sometimes you just have to scream. use it or lose it. speaking of screaming new yorkers, president trump is on a roll contradicting his own infectious disease experts almost every day on his daily televised temper tantrum. here's how it goes. the president says this.ndersta prepared in thel. how can sha ye same level that it has today in.
11:38 pm
>> what, it is estimated it might not come back at all, jeff. it may not come back at all. >> jimmy: and then later in that same press briefing, dr. fauci says this. >> we will have coronavirus in the fall. i am convinced of that. >> jimmy: now i don't know who to trust. here's the thing folks. our president is a contradict head. trump also trotted out the director of the cdc, dr. robert redfield who told "the washington post" we may have an even more devastating round of the virus coming this did not go over well with the president. who immediately tweeted that dr. redfield was misquoted. and then marched him up to the podium to try to get him to say, "i was misquoted." >> you were accurately quoted, right? >> i was accurately quoted but the head line. >> headline cdc director warns second wave of coronavirus is likely to be even more
11:39 pm
devastating. >> that's not what he said. >> doctor, why did you retweet it? >> you weren't called. >> jimmy: so that went well. these poor doctors working for trump. if they don't give us the truth, they're not doing their jobs. but if they do tell the truth, there's a good chance he'll fire them. so their only option is to play dumb and hope trump gets distracted by a filet-o-fish. and this guy dr. redfield. had he not tried to accommodate trump -- he would have been forced to go back to his job as an amish stock photo model. this is what happens if you don't play loose with the facts we learned yesterday that team trump demoted the doctor in charge of finding a vaccine for the virus. dr. rick bright was "involuntarily transferred" from his post, because he raised orange flags about the presidents' claim that an untested drug hydroxychloroquine could help treat the virus. early testing seems to indicate that it does not. dr. bright spoke up about this, and now he is gone. i'm not sure what's more
11:40 pm
depressing, that our president demoted a doctor who was trying to prevent americans from trying an ineffective drug that could kill us, or that we're not even remotely surprised this happened. but the president only wants the best people. this headline does a good job of summing it all up. "former labradoodle breeder was tapped to lead u.s. pandemic task force." that's for real. they hired a guy who bred labradoodles to lead the team. how does this happen? did they go through his resume, see the word "lab" and go, "well, he's obviously qualified." harrison has no formal education in public health, management, or medicine. so trump was like, "perfect, how soon can you start?" oh well. maybe we can get him to train mike pence to stop humping the president's leg. am i still wearing the makeup? yes? okay. tomorrow the state of georgia will reopen for business. gyms, fitness centers, bowling alleys, hair salons, beauty salons, massage therapists, cosmetology schools, tattoo parlors and body piercing studios - will be allowed to
11:41 pm
open their doors. and i think that's great. that's exactly what we need right now. i don't know about you, but i haven't had my penis pierced in weeks! georgia's governor, brian kemp, is going ahead with this. why? no one seems to know. even their crazy next-door neighbor florida hasn't opened for business yet! it's nuts. we are cracking under pressure. according to the associated press, a lot of parents have reached the breaking point when it comes to homeschooling their kids. and some are just bailing on it they've given up. and that's a shame. so maybe we should change course. maybe we should revert to a little house on the prairie style of education. none of our kids need fractions right now. i say it's time to teach them to churn butter! if you search the word "homeschool" on twitter you can get a sense of how much parents are suffering. "homeschooling is just standing behind your kid checking their math on your phone calculator." "if i died tomorrow, my 4th grader's last memory would be of me yelling at her about the st louis arch." and this one gets right to the point.
11:42 pm
"there is a hell. it is called homeschooling." i get it. it's hard to go to school again, but don't give up hope moms and dads. because our pal guillermo has a new service, providing homework assistance to those who need it. so run and get your wobo because it's time for homework corner with guillermo. ♪ >> guillermo: hello, and welcome to homework corner with guillermo. today's problem is solve for a. three times a equals 20. so that would be three times three
11:43 pm
a -- wait. three times, three times six, 18. and then we forget about the other two. so it can be 18 if we can't have two. >> jimmy: well done, guillermo. i give you a b plus. we need to take a break. but i'll be back with arnold schwarzenegger. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by jim beam.
11:44 pm
i have moderate to severe pnow, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer, yeah i feel free ♪
11:45 pm
♪ to bare my skin ♪ yeah that's all me. ♪ nothing and me go hand in hand ♪ ♪ nothing on my skin ♪ that's my new plan. ♪ nothing is everything. keep your skin clearer with skyrizi. 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. of those, nearly 9 out of 10 sustained it through 1 year. and skyrizi is 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. ♪ i see nothing in a different way ♪ ♪ and it's my moment so i just gotta say ♪ ♪ nothing is everything skyrizi may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. before treatment your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms such as fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or coughs, or if you plan to or recently received a vaccine. ♪ nothing is everything ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. ♪ more than ever, your home is your sanctuary.
11:46 pm
that's why lincoln offers you the ability to purchase a new vehicle remotely with participating dealers. an effortless transaction- all without leaving the comfort- and safety of your home. that's the power of sanctuary. and for a little extra help, receive 0% apr financing and defer your first payment up to 120 days on the purchase of a new lincoln. (up-beat techno music throughout)
11:47 pm
rand fast, reliable, secured internet from xfinity can help. we have plans to fit every budget with speeds up to a gig-all at xfinity.com. we'll ship you a self-install kit that makes setup quick, safe and easy. no tech visit required. and our simple digital tools will help you manage your account online. at xfinity, we're committed to keeping you connected. find great offers and value, today, at xfinity.com ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, makeup
11:48 pm
artist. >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. my guest tonight is the only man ever to hold the titles of mr. universe and governor of california, beaming in now from casa la vista. please welcome arnold schwarzenegger. hello, governor. >> hey, jimmy, how are you? you're looking really good. >> jimmy: you've got an infestation there, it seems. >> i am telling you, i have everything here. >> jimmy: you sure do. >> i have my lulu here. they love to eat, i just finished lunch, and now they're here and participa participate a little bit with the lunch. >> jimmy: you have a donkey and a horse, right? >> yeah, this is lulu. >> jimmy: how does it work? are they free to roam the house? >> yeah, they go upstairs, they
11:49 pm
go down stairs, they are all over the placement th. they watch me when i work out. it's fantastic many they fightr. this is whiskey. she likes oatmeal my favorite thing is oatmeal cookies. right, whiskey? >> jimmy: are these animals house trained in. >> well, you know, yes, i mean, they're not trained, but they really, they very rarely take a dump-in the house. it happened one time in the kitchen while we were cooking, but that was okay. it just smelled a little from pooh at the same time. >> jimmy: wow, your house has turned into the island of dr.
11:50 pm
morrow. when you were governor you prepared the state for a situation like this, by stockpiling how many masks and ventilators and whatnot did you stockpile? >> well, we stockpiled millions of masks and thousands of ventilators. and beds and stuff like that. and i think the whole idea was to be prepared for an earthquake or to be prepared for massive, a lot of fires, because one day i woke up, and i was governor, and we had 2012 fires fires in one day. and they were raging on from south to north. so i said to myself, you have to be prepared for this. and don't bite my fingers. >> jimmy: and years later, the state was able to access those masks and ventilators. >> well, yes, what would happen was, you know, it takes a
11:51 pm
certain amount of time and a certain amount of money put this whole together. and youavo be exact wh wanted to go and put together. so, but we did it. and then it took around $5 million to keep it up and to keep the storage and everything. excuse yourself. excuse me. you need a handkerchief. but anyway, you need, you need the money to keep it in storage, and so there were budget crises. there were governors who decided they didn't want to go and continue on, because they decided the money should if where else. when you have a budget crisis and two $20 billion deficit you have to make tough decisions. they made that decision. but some of the stuff was still in storage, and they found it and used it in the hospital.
11:52 pm
and it was really good. i am always a guy who likes to be prepared. it doesn't matter if it was with the budget or the levees, i was the first to go out and tell the state and lawmakers that we need to update our levees, because we have 2300 miles of levees in california. then when katrina happened in new orleans and the levees broke now they said now we understand why we need levees. >> jimmy: have you been in touch with governor newsom, do you collaborate so he can draw on your experience? >> governor newsom and i have been friends for a long time. he is doing a terrific job as governor here and the way he deals with the crisis. he was very smart in reaching out to the past governors, like governor brown and governor davis, governor wilson and myself, democrats and republicans. and the reason why i'm mentioning that is because i
11:53 pm
think it's very important that we don't make this a political kind of a situation. >> i think a great illustration of your bipartisan work is that you are a republican who owns a donkey. i think that's something else. when we come back, we are with arnold schwarzenegger and ed norton. they'll tell us what they're up to. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by bose headphones700. the most advanced noise-canceling headphones. ♪ life is too far to walk alone. ♪ ♪ you can't do it on your own ♪ ♪ but time will show ♪ and don't you know how bad we need each other? ♪ ♪ you know what i'm saying? ♪ hmmm...mmm...mmmm...mmmm
11:54 pm
yo wte couch. ywre near but we did it. and you know what happened? nothing. glad bag with leakguard. helps prevent leaks and drama. that's a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. glad bag with leakguard. our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no next-day grogginess. zzzquil pure zzzs. naturally superior sleep.
11:55 pm
♪ ♪ ♪ michael vasquez! come over here. i've heard such good things about you, your company. well, i wouldn't have done any of it without you. without this place. this is for you. michael, you didn't have to... and, we're going to need some help with the rest. you've worked so hard to achieve so much. perhaps it's time to partner with someone who knows you and your business well enough to understand what your wealth is really for. for over 80 years, nissan has been with you through thick and thin,
11:56 pm
t.w'ffg paent oprs. our service departments are here to help. and now we're offering more help. no payments for three months. plus, we'll cover your payments for up to two additional months. this is help when you need it.
11:57 pm
♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house, joining us is arnold schwarzenegger and t norton, his friend, how do you know each other? >> we met at a wedding, at a bar. i was starting to train for american history x, and he said you look good, you look trim. and i wanted to put on some size. asked m t break dow was sngg a back then and told him my hold workout. he said that's pretty good. you're doing two a day? and i said no, i'm doing one a day, and he said well, that's pretty [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: and a bond was forged. you guys have teamed up to
11:58 pm
launch the front line responders fund. tell us about that and how we can get involved. in wel >> well, i've been very, very anxious sitting at home and knowing that friends of mine are on a daily basis going into these intention front line situations. we were all hearing about their health and shortage of gear. and the people who are buying the masks and equipment that was one thing, but in some cases there were enormous delays in getting the equipment from where they were finding it, like china especially. so i started working with this great organization. it's basically procuring planes, big cargo planes at a huge discount, and we built a fund to underwrite the cost of flying these big cargo flights for all of the hospitals and nonprofits and donors who are finding masks
11:59 pm
to try to uncork the delay. so we've been working on trying to get the delays down from a month or six weeks to a couple of days and the turn around on these orders. and arnold, you know, launched this for us. he gave a million dollars right out of the gate, which underwrote eight fleets right off the bat. and he helped launch this fund. and over 20,000 people have kicked in almost $7.5 million. our goal is to get to $10 million, because frankly, we've got requests from the people buying the masks and the hospitals to help them with more than double what we've done. and this is actually working. we're moving a lot of the fear very fast, and we really need more. so we want to say to people, it has made a difference, and don't stop. we can double down on this and keep making a difference. the prleis is -- is be part of
12:00 am
>> jimmy: that's right. >> that's why we connected right away, because he's always conscious about those things, no matter what the disaster is and jumps in and tries to find ways of helping. we want to work together on all of those issues, because there are too many people out there sitting in front of the television complaining about the situation or things are too slow. >> reporter tests. >> jimmy: governor, thank you for being so generous and having such forethought to get these masks where they're needed to these hospitals. so we really do appreciate it. >> until arnold and i can do expendables, this is what we're doing together. >> jimmy: all right, we'll be back with one of the stars of the nfl draft. ♪ it's time to step up. prep up. step up. prep up. to help keep you free from the risk of hiv.
12:01 am
from the makers of truvada, there's another prep option: descovy for prep. a once-daily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. it's not for everyone. descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. talk to your doctor to find out if it's right for you. step up. for health and body. prep up for your one and only love or many loves. for kings, this queen, and you royals in between. for my now. our now. and my future. our future. step up. prep up. descovy is another way to prep. descovy does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections, so it's important to use safer sex practices and get tested regularly. you must be hiv-negative to take descovy for prep. so you need to get tested for hiv immediately before and at least every 3 months while taking it. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. they may check to confirm you are still hiv-negative. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. the most common side effect was diarrhea.
12:02 am
tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking descovy without talking to your doctor. ask your doctor about your risk of hiv and if descovy for prep is right for you. words are loud but actions are louder. step up. prep up. with descovy for prep. get help paying for descovy for prep. learn more at stepupprepup.com ♪ only roomba i7+ uses two multi-surface rubber brushes. ♪ and picks up more pet hair than other robot vacuums. and the filter captures 99% of dog and cat allergens. if it's not from irobot, it's not a roomba™. (up-beat techno music throughout)
12:03 am
12:04 am
♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. if you watched the nfl draft on abc you know it was a big night for joe burrow. he called russell wilson and guillermo. >> what's up, guillermo? >> are you excited about the draft? you will be getting a seat at the computer wearing your bose head phones 700. and i will help you with your reaction. >> my reaction? >> guillermo: yeah, when they drop your name. i have a guy who's going to help me, mr. russell wilson. i announce and you react.
12:05 am
>> just so nothing distracts you, you have the headphones on. >> jimmy: you read my mind. my team selects joe >> let's go, yes! >> brutal. >> no, joe. >> guillermo: more passion. >> joe burrow! >> yes, i did it, i did it. >> guillermo: joe, leave the acting to the security guards. >> how about a lasso. >> yee-haw! >> jump in the box. ooh, ooh. >> how's that one? >> guillermo: listen, joe, good luck in the nfl. >> that was actually funny. >> dicky: bose, official headphones of the nfl, visit bose.com to learn more. >> jimmy: that's our time, apologies to matt damon, we only had room on the show for one
12:06 am
donkey tonight. if you're really lonely, maybe just let the bedbugs bite a little. this is "nightline." tonight, tinder box. covid-19 and the long-term care crisis. >> some of them would crash real fast, like nothing i've ever seen before in my life. >> nursing homes. first flash point of the pandemic. the staggering loss of life spreading across the nation. now the accusations the trump administration could have done more to save lives. >> we don't have testing in nursing homes. we don't have personal protective equipment. things are going to get bad. plus, answering back. one on one with seema verma, white house task force member. "nightline" will be right back.

148 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on