i think. i'm not sure. guillermo, what day is this? how long have we been in quarantine now? >> guillermo: i think 41 days. >> jimmy: all i know, this is officially the longest i've stayed inside since the womb. you know, i keep thinking about what a bummer it is to be a high school senior right now. you're about to graduate. you doesn't gn't get to do any fun things. there's a new thing they're doing called "isolation proms" where all the kids get dressed up and dance over video chat. which is ok i guess. i guess it's better than nothing. when i was in high school, i had an "isolation prom" too. everyone else went to the prom. i stayed home and played my clarinet. and while we may be isolated, it would seem we are not alone. as if we didn't have enough to worry about right in the middle of this, at the moment we are totally focused on the virus and quarantine and whether or not we should be mainlining lysol, the pentagon releases official video of ufos.

that's right. what you are about to see are ufos. they are unidentified flying objects that no one, not even the pilots who saw and tracked them, has an explanation for. >> there's a whole fleet of them. look on the sa. >> my gosh! they're all going against the wind. the wind's 120 knots west. >> look at that thing, dude! that's not -- >> that is -- look at that thing! >> it's rotating. >> jimmy: perfect. just what we need. has there ever been a worse time for an alien to say "take me to your leader?" i think i'd just lead him to, like, morgan freeman's house. that video is nuts. those pilots were pretty casual about it. they reacted about the same way i would react if a squirrel got in my house. "whoa dude!"

the navy calls it "unidentified aerial phenomena," which is basically a ufo. that's what a ufo would put on its tax return. these videos have been circulating unofficially for quite some time. but now they have been certified as bonafide. from the military, which, it seems suspicious to me that the pentagon waits until the craziest news week to release it. "the president is telling people to drink bleach! now is the time." here's the one thing i will say about donald trump, if aliens did make contact he'd tell us. not on purpose, of course. he just wouldn't be able to resist. he'd be yelling at some reporter and say, "this is why i know about the aliens and you don't!" by the way, when you think about how nuts this year has been think about this. the pentagon releases video of real ufos and it's barely even a story. won't even be the biggest news item of the week! the other big mystery right now is where is kim jong un? who is either very sick or very

dead or perfectly fine. all we know is that he hasn't been seen or heard from in more than two weeks. and this was trending over the weekend -- a hashtag that says either "kim jong un dead" - or "kim jong undead" i don't know. that would be some plot twist. he turns into a zombie? south korean officials claim their troublesome neighbor is "alive and well." and is probably just sheltering in place. another theory is he was drinking from a chocolate river and got stuck in a pipe. he's waiting for the un-paloompas to get him out. whatever the case, the president weighed in on this, saying he has a "very good idea" about what is going on with kim jong un. which, of course, means he has absolutely no idea what is going on with kim jong un. this has not been a great month for donald trump. none of them have, really. but yesterday, we learned that trump was warned about the threat of the coronavirus back in january and february more than a dozen times. us intelligence officials put the warnings in the president's

daily briefing book, which, that's your problem right there. they put it in a book. the president doesn't read books. if they wanted him to take it seriously -- they should have tweeted him gifs of dancing cheeseburgers. but it's understandable that trump wasn't paying attention. he was busy. he had to play golf on january 4th, january 5th, january 18th, 19th, february 1st, 2nd, 15th, march 7th, march 8th. what was he supposed to do? miss his tee times? trump was asked today what he knew about the coronavirus and when he knew it. and you're gonna find this hard to believe, but he didn't really answer the question. >> can you clarify what your intelligence advisers were telling you back in january and february? were you warned about what was happening with coronavirus and a threat to this country? should there have been stronger warnings? what were you hearing every day? >> i think probably a lot more than the democrats, because a month later, nancy pelosi was saying let's dance in the streets of chinatown. you go back and you take a look,

and even professionals like anthony were saying this is no problem. this is late in february. this is no problem. this is going to blow over. >> jimmy: i wonder if those tiny fingers ever get tired of pointing at everyone else? the truth is trump was too busy to read his daily intelligence briefing in january and february because he was out on the road saying stuff like this. >> by the way, how bad were the academy awards this year? did you see them. sinks, toilets and showers. you don't get any water. i just beat abraham lincoln. and the winner was a movie from south korea, what was that about? i brought back the old light bulb, but i'm also approving new dishwashers that give you more water so you can actually wash and rinse your dishes without having to do it ten times! like this guy, he's a mexican. you are about as mexican as i

am. wonderful cows. i love cows. they want to kill our cows! >> jimmy: see, he didn't have time for the virus because he was protecting us from the cow killers. trump's "bleach out your insides" pitch is still having an impact. the fda yesterday issued a warning about drinking hand sanitizer. they told people not to do that. if you need the fda to tell you not to drink hand sanitizer, go ahead and do a shot of purell. i don't care. and we got another disturbing announcement from the cdc, which is now recommending that, if you have symptoms of or test positive for covid- 19, you should distance yourself from your pets. cats and dogs can apparently get the virus too. at first they thought it was just cats. but now it's dogs too. how do you socially distance from someone that says hello by sticking his nose in your crotch? speaking of pets, the vice poodle was off the leash today. he went on a tour of the mayo clinic in minnesota.

where, despite being told to do to wear a mask, he did not. the mayo clinic has guidelines that require all visitors to wear masks. but he didn't. and he was the only one who didn't. you know the only reason he didn't wear a mask is because trump won't wear one. mike pence has to keep his lips free at all times for kissing his master's ass. this was good though. this patient. i have to assume this guy wore pink socks just to make pence uncomfortable. after the visit, the mayo clinic tweeted -- "mayo clinic had informed @vp of the masking policy prior to his arrival today." and then they deleted it. they quickly took it down. for fear an army of imbeciles might gather outside to protest. maybe mike pence just wants to catch it already and be put out of his misery. the president, of course, refuses to wear a mask. which is a shame because if his mouth was covered we could help him with his press conferences a lot. >> okay, everybody. i'm going to make this very simple.

stay inside, don't drink bleach and listen to doctors, because i have no idea how the human body works. i can't even find my penis anymore. now go wash your hands, and vote for joe biden so i can go home and play some [ bleep ] golf. >> jimmy: you see? every problem solved right there. we're going to take a break. but we will be right back with jim parsons. ♪ isk of hiv. from the makers of truvada, there's another prep option: descovy for prep. a once-daily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. it's not for everyone. descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. talk to your doctor to find out if it's right for you. step up. for health and body. prep up for your one and only love or many loves. for kings, this queen, and you royals in between.

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. tomorrow night we'll be joined by our pal anthony anderson.

and on thursday mandy moore will chat and sing. our guest tonight spent 11 seasons on one of the biggest, and bang-est, shows of all-time. he is back now in the limited series "hollywood" starting friday on netflix. please welcome jim parsons. hello, jim. >> hi, jimmy, it's very nice to see you. >> jimmy: very nice to see you, too. i assume this is a bedroom in your home? >> this is a bedroom. i've taken it over as an office, yes. >> jimmy: are you a neat freak? i don't know why, but i would imagine you would be. >> i grew into one. i was a terrible slob through most of college and a lot of my early 20s, and i finally got my crap together as they say, and since doing that, it's become very important to me. i've not, i've not adjusted well to a virus running around the world. it's made me, it's added cleanliness to my neatness and i feel a little neurotic. >> jimmy: interesting.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: so you were neat and dirty. and now you're neat and clean. in the past you were just sloppy and dirty. >> my husband always accused me of stacks. he's like, i can't take your stacks anymore. i would neaten things up, but it was just a stack of my stuff. and to me, that was fine. that drove him nuts. >> jimmy: that's what i do, too, and that's best case scenario that i put everything in a stack. how are you guys splitting up the household chores assuming you're not going out and not bringing anyone in. >> i've been doing most of the cleaning and washing clothes. he's been doing most of the cooking. before quarantine i was doing the cooking but it was very simplistic, not that great. >> jimmy: like what? >> like frozen patties and stuff that i would heat and serve next

to rice or whatever, some sort of vegetable from a bag, which, that's fine, but i mean, i'm 40 something, i shouldn't -- anyway, he kind of took the creative outlet. cooking is kind of the thing he's been doing. >> jimmy: i see, okay. he's good at this sort of thing i would assume? >> yes, he's very good at it. yes, i'm not getting thinner as we sit here in quarantine. >> jimmy: do you clean up after him after he's cooking? >> i clear away the plates and everything after we're done eating. i don't want to feel like i'm giving him the rush out of the kitchen. >> jimmy: you've taken up, is this a new hobby that you've started or something you really just started to get into, painting? >> painting, painting. i, in the past year or so, when we were wrapping up "big bang", i was like, i should look into other outlets because acting jobs aren't guaranteed and what

else should i do? i picked up watercolors at one point, and i enjoyed that very much. and i wanted to take a water color class, apparently a lot of people like to water color because it's kind of convenient. so there were only these acrylic classes left which scares me to death. anything that comes out of a tube like that, i had this odd fear of staining things and wasting them. i can't fully explain this. but there was no other outlet, so i started painting with acrylics, and now i do that. i'm not good at it, and sometimes i don't even like doing it, because it's, i want to be better than i am, and that frustrates me. but i'm, i'm doing it, yes. >> jimmy: you have to work at it, right? you can't be good at it immediately. okay, so do you have a painting there that you can share with us and show us? >> i do. i do. i was prepared.

this is the first one i did. this was my, a still life. >> jimmy: it's well done. very well done. >> it's very, very kind of you to say. i know that you know art. i didn't know this until i was preparing for this interview. the only thing i've associated art with you, that bea arthur painting. >> jimmy: that was a joke. i was kidding. >> i was jealous, though, because i would have loved to have had that. was that a john curran? >> jimmy: i announced i'd paid a million dollars for it and was giving it to my friend jeff. and everything thought i really did it. and i just printed it out. >> i never realized that you did that. okay, that was my first one. it was a still life. and then i was like, i don't have a lot of things around my house that i want to paint, and i don't trust fruit and stuff to stay around long enough for me to paint them.

>> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> you know, they would rot. so i took, this is my next painting, a photograph i took, we were day drinking. it was somebody's birthday. so i got a sloppy angle of my friend's behind. and that's her husband over there. but i like the angles of it. this is not going great, but it's -- >> jimmy: it's going pretty good! >> look at the sidewalk. it's not something, i can't, my husband studied art, and he says it takes layering. i've got her husband up there in the corner, you know. >> jimmy: that's her husband? why is he so far away and walking at you guys? >> because he has his own interests, jimmy, and he was trying, he was looking ahead, you know, while these drunkards were behind him, lagging. i don't know. >> jimmy: so while you are holed up, squirting acrylic out of tubes, you have a new show coming to netflix to give everyone else something to do. >> i do, that's right.

>> jimmy: ryan murphy's new show. what is the particular point of this ryan murphy show? >> just a look at hollywood back in the 1940s, the romance age, the classic era. >> jimmy: right. >> and then we tell a lot of factual tales, but then we start spinning in some fiction and even i think a fantasy and like it's about if certain decisions had been made back then, how would society or just even hollywood look different, look different now, how would that have affected, how would that have affected the world? >> everything he does is good, so i'm sure this is going to be a good one. i can't wait to see it. it starts on friday, and each night, jim, as you know, we pick a charity, and i make a donation to that charity. what charity did you pick for us tonight? >> yes, i picked glisten, which is a group that works with lgbtq children and k-12 in schools to

make sure they have a safe learning environment. and somewhat ironically, it's become more important how important they are with everybody out of school, because this was for so many students the safest place they had in school or out. and now they don't have school to go to and meet up with everybody they really are having to do a lot of outreach work right now. >> jimmy: it's spelled a little bit oddly. g-l-s-e-n.org. thank you, jim parsons. very good to see you, take care. we'll be right back. when we come back, i'm going to answer some e-mails, be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by slim-jim. snap into a slim-jim. oh, yeah!

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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. i have a new e-mail address. hellojimmykimmel @gmail.com. hellojimmykimmel @gmail.com. for instance, pam brubaker wants to know, should i pluck or shave the hair on my big toe? i say pluck, no good ever came from shaving one's feet. it's how my grandmother died. another pam, pam marenna asks, what kind of cologne do you wear? what am i, an uber driver? none. i wear no cologne. i am ca-lonely. nick writes, would you rather

eat hot dogs for the rest of your life or wake up inside a giant hot dog and have to dig your way out every morning, you'd be able to breathe. let me know. i've been thinking about that a lot lately. i think i would rather wake up in the hot dog. i think it's the kind of thing that sounds terrible. could also turn out to be great. know what i'm saying? i think i have one more here. this is from dan from tinley park, illinois. i like you and your show very much. would you consider adopting me? i am 48 years old, married. today i cleaned our barbecue grill. keep on truckin'. yes, dan, i would love to adopt you. have your parents leave you in a basket at my door and bring the grill brush. hey, i have important business to get to. cinco de mayo is only a week away. and since it is impossible to celebrate at your favorite cantina we have a plan. every week we ask bar tenders to

create drinks you can make from the comfort of your compound as part of the tips from home. it's time for tequila don julio blanco. >> hello, i'm julio gabrera from miami. to get you ready for cinco de mayo, today, we have churros margarita. we have one and a half ounces of blanco tequila. three quarters of an ounce of fresh lime juice. three quarters of an ounce of simple syrup. we mixed equal parts sugar and water. we have hot water and pepper. grate dark chocolate inside. add the ice. now we serve on the rocks and we present it with some churros on the side. happy cinco de mayo. >> jimmy: to learn more visit givz.com/tips from home. we'll be right back.

♪ say hi. ♪ a pandemic has the possibility of bringing us together in ways none of us would have been able to expect. ♪ i'm so small said the mole. yes said the boy, but you make a huge difference. ♪ ♪ ♪

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shape your future. start here. visit 2020census.gov. >> jimmy: all right, we're out of time. i'd like to thank jim parsons and apologize to matt damon. we will check our schedule and get back to him on that. anthony anderson will be with us tomorrow. "nightline" is next. but before we say goodnight, don't forget, there's a virus trying to kill us. goodnight.