tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 15, 2020 12:36am-1:08am PDT
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ever. there is nothing fun in this house including the owner. you know, we don't have a vaccine yet, and we might not for a very long time. but there is still plenty of innovation happening in the united states of america. there's big news from the world of breakfast. ihop has announced a limited-edition cereal called panflakes. these are little mini-syrup-flavored if the virus won't kill you, we will. i have a feeling they'll be very popular. in washington, d.c. panflakes became the first cereal to be awarded a presidential medal. this was not a great day for president honeycombover. his cookies were in a real crisp
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today as a new whistle-blower, dr. rick bright, harshly criticized the white house response to covid-19. he was recently removed from his post as head of the biomedical authority, and replaced with the guy who makes trump's omelets at mar-a-lago. this was a scary hearing today. he warned us the window is closing to address the pandemic. unless that window is a drive through window at kfc there's no way trump's going to bother. bright said if we don't get our act together the united states could be headed for the darkest winter in modern history. the good news is he's saying we might make it to winter. dr. tanhatton of course was watching tv and stopped on the lawn this afternoon to yell about him. >> i don't know him. i never met him. i don't want to meet him. and he looks like an angry, disgruntled employee. who frankly, according to some people, didn't do a very good job. >> jimmy: that's right. i don't know him, never met him, but he sucks.
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at this point, does donald trump have any gruntled employees? bright pushed back on the president when he was pushing this hydroxychloroquine as a miracle drug. it has been proven it is not a miracle drug but it seems someone forgot to tell president trump. >> we've had tremendous response to the hydroxy, great response along with the z pack. a lot of people have sworn by it. and we'll see. >> jimmy: we'll see. that's the strategy. we'll see. try some hydro, a little zinc. get you a z pack, chase it with a jug of bleach, maybe motor oil with elderberry. a sprig of dried sage up your nose. you might be good to go. we'll see. donnie boo boo had quite a trumper tantrum, with a retweet of his own tweet that says
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"obamagate", even though nobody knows what that is. has the word "gate" at the end, so it must be bad. we learned that they are funning the virus numbers to get them lower. he wants the cdc to stop counting deaths of people presumed to have the virus but didn't have official lab results as well as victims who did have the virus. but may have also had something else. in other words, the patient had covid but also had gum disease. let's say he died of that, or let's throw him in the ocean and blame it on sharks. the disease gets scarier by the day, having much more impact on children now. not just attacking the lungs but all manner of organs and researchers at the university of pennsylvania found when you speak loudly, droplets of the virus can hang around in the air for at least eight minutes, which eight minutes is a long, that's seven more minutes than
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sex. that is just great. the world is already a combination of bird box and contagion. why not throw a quiet place in too. a lot of people don't believe it or don't care. in wisconsin, the state supreme court overturned the governor's stay-at-home order. and guess what happened immediately? >> bars in wisconsin were packed wednesday night, videos from this bar in west alice, a milwaukee suburb, showed patrons huddled together and not wearing masks. >> jimmy: terrific, a new season of the walking dead. the president called that decision to reopen wisconsin a big win and headed to allentown, pennsylvania, one of the factories he learned about in a billy joel song, he went to a factory where they manufacture masks, and did the president wear a mask to the factory where they manufacture masks? of course not. everyone else did. he did not. but there's a good reason why he won't wear a mask.
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wearing a mask is an act of respect, and consideration for others. the medical gloves were off, to. while he was speaking at the factory, he inadvertently called h1n1. n 1 h 1 and somehow quickly flipped that to pretend he was doing it to make fun of joe biden. >> most of the masks were distributed during the n1h 1. now you know who says that, right? who says that? sleepy joe biden. remember? he said the n 1 h 1. i said, isn't it the other way around? yes, sir, but he said it, so it doesn't make any difference. >> jimmy: good one. remember when trump thought belgium was a city? there has been so much stupidity on parade, but this might be the most confusing trend of all. people are actually getting coronavirus-themed tattoos. to remember it, i guess.
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this is a classy piece ever art depicting two skeletons clinking bottles of corona beer. this one is of toilet paper and says covid-19. lot of them involve toilet paper. here's another one, i survived 2020. might be a bit presumptuous, being that it is only may, but i like positive thinking. and this is creative. this is a roll of toilet paper, running away from the virus. and let me tell you something. if that ain't a pixar movie in the making, i don't know what is. god please help us. we have a good show for you tonight. tonight we're going to salute our health care worker of the week and we've got a surprise mystery guest for that person. and when we come back, we'll be right back with stephen curry, so stick around. ♪
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i came across sofi and it was the best decision of my life. we're getting a super competitive interest rate on our money. we're able to invest through the same exact platform. i got approved for a loan and it was a game-changer. truly sofi, thank you for helping me prepare for whatever the future has in store. (♪)
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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. later on, we will meet our healthcare hero of the week and we have a surprise for her. next week on the show sarah paulson, janelle monae, patton oswalt and kevin hart. so we hope you will join us, too. my guest tonight is a three-time nba champion, two-time mvp and now, mini golf legend. his miniature golf show "holey moley 2: the sequel" premieres one week from tonight here on abc. from the golden state warriors, please welcome stephen curry. hello, steph, how you doin'? >> what's up, jimmy? how you doin'? >> jimmy: i'm doin' all right. looks like things are neat in your house, things are not as neat in my house. >> i just picked the right spot. i'm totally frontin' right now. everything on this side of the camera is a total mess.
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>> jimmy: that makes sense. i can't believe you quit basketball to play miniature golf. it's something i never imagined. when jordan quit to play baseball, that was big, but this is extra ridiculous. >> i was inspired by the documentary for sure to find my true calling in life, and i think i found it. >> jimmy: have you been watching the documentary? >> i have. really cool perspective to hear him talk about his career in his own words. everybody can create narratives and to have images, but to hear from his own words and set the tone for what that '91 to '98 type of run was, it's just crazy to watch and hear and see, i'm lovin' it. >> jimmy: did you have the foresight to do that, to do that yourself, to have cameras around documenting the behind the scenes? >> yes and no. so i got plenty of footage on my phone that would, i guess in
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today's age could be actually the most entertaining content, but the no part, our team, when we were going through these five finals runs the last five years, our last year, we turned down an opportunity, i believe, to have cameras follow our last season. i think that was the right decision. but there is, there's plenty of good content to hopefully maybe 20 years down the line, let's revisit what we've been through. >> jimmy: when do you think you'll go back? do you have any more idea than anyone else? do you have a sense? or are you still going with the flow here? >> it's a little bit with the flow, but i think the conversation around from the players association and nba and the league offices, everybody's trying to get the game back as soon as possible. but you obviously have to be safe. you have to protect the players, the fans, our families, coaching staffs, the entire organization. so a lot of things at play. we're learning by the week as things change and develop, but i
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would assume basketball will be back in some way, shape or form this summer. >> jimmy: so let's say it does, and they say okay, we don't want to have 15,000 people in an arena, we just want to have the players, the guys on the court. i was wondering about, when you talk to each other, will we be able to hear that? will we be able to hear the trash talk? it seems like it could potentially be better without the fans there. >> it would be raw. like, i think, yeah, everybody has like those mics on their jersey sometimes, and they'll play like the inside tracks or whatever, but this would take it to a whole another level to just pure insanity of what we say on the court, what, you know, that trash talk that happens, even myself taking part in it. but i think everybody, from whether you're on the court, on the bench, all the nonsense, like that might be something that's really appealing from a fan perspective to get up close and personal with what we do on the court.
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>> jimmy: who on your team would get bleeped the most? >> that's not even a question, me. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no. i mean, obviously, everybody knows draymond loves to talk. he's an expert trash talker. like i don't just say he's a trash talker. he's on another level of his material is phenomenal. >> jimmy: he could have a netflix special while he's playing basketball, that would be something. >> that's how you get the bang for your buck, open up opportunities from the game for sure. >> jimmy: what is the court situation like at your house? do you have a big professional caliber basketball court? >> no, i have some pavers in my driveway and a makeshift basket that i assembled myself, right when the quarantine happened, which is kind of crazy. probably most people assume that -- >> jimmy: what? >> players have a court or hoop or something. i didn't. but now i do.
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so i can get shots up, let's put it that way. i can get shots up. >> jimmy: where did you get it? it came in a box to your house and then you built it? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: wow, you're a real craftsman. this show, holy moly, the second season of the show. you love, this you get a real kick out of miniature golf. >> i do. i've obviously played it myself, but this takes it to a whole another level in terms of the comedy, insanity. we have rob riggle on the calls. we have a lot of entertainment value, and it's something for the entire family. everybody's either heard about it or played mini golf themselves, but to see it in this type of format is pretty amazing, and i think we bring the entertainment value every episode. i'm the animated character this year, the resident golf pro, so i absolutely love it. >> jimmy: you posted a video of
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yourself making a trick shot here. let's take a look at this video here now. here we go. this is in your house. and how many times, how many times did it take before you made that? >> that was, i think, the fourth attempt. but, as you know, with all these shows and these type of content situation, i did it in the fourth attempt. i try to redo it and it took me like a hundred. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i have a big spectrum on attempts on that. >> jimmy: you want to see if you can do it live? were all the pressure on, that's when you're at your best. >> that's when i'm at my best, and i'm dressed in my golf clothes as well. >> jimmy: let's do it. how far away are you from your setup? >> i'm like ten feet away.
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not too far, i can actually take you. >> jimmy: beautiful, all right. >> to the set up. know what i'm saying? so i'm over here by my front door, as you can see. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so i have a little setup here. can you see me? >> jimmy: i can see. everything's great. all right, here we go. >> here's my cup right hire. let's see if i can do it. >> jimmy: into the cup. >> a little right. here we go. >> jimmy: all right. >> now i'm dialing it in. get my tiger on. ooh, that was it. >> jimmy: i'm so excited. i haven't seen sports in so long, i'm just enjoying watching this. >> can vegas bet on this? >> jimmy: there's no one left. it's empty. >> here we go. i'm blaming it on the pink ball. it's not me. >> jimmy: what is that, a ping-pong ball?
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or what have you got there? >> it's an actual indoor -- i don't know what you call it. oh! it's in there! that's it. yes! >> jimmy: i got my fix. well done. stephen curry. >> as you can see. >> jimmy: you did it. every night i've been making a donation to charity. stephen has selected eat, learn, play, this is a foundation you and your wife ayesha started. go to eatlearnplay.org to learn more. and watch "holy moly ". when we come back, our health care hero of the week. >> yes! a new moment in wireless has begun. t-mobile and sprint are joining forces. by bringing together our two networks, t-mobile will build america's largest and most reliable 5g network... with more towers, more engineers, and more coverage.
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let's read a book-don't come behind the teacher's desk this is going to be so hard. ♪ so what we're going to do is we're going to make our own hand sanitizer. i'm going to teach you how to give yourself a self-isolation haircut. (giggles) oh, no- i'm so sorry i'll be making my first birthday cake from scratch. happy birthday make two stitches all the way around. i'm going to show you how to properly soak your nails off. ew. ew. ew. today, were going to talk about how to groom your dogs. (laughing) he looks like a fried chicken leg. i have some key tips that will be helpful in working from home. dada! daddy's gotta work. today i'm going to show you how to plant some seeds grow things you're going to eat you guys, ok? ok! how to make a simple loaf of sourdough bread. i forgot to score the tops, ya'll. ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. our health care hero this week is a nurse from new milford, connecticut. say hello to samantha brown. hello samantha brown. >> hey, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you for joining us. tell us what kind of nursing you do and where you work. >> i work at maple wood at new town. it's assisted living, and i'm a wellness nurse there. >> jimmy: you're a wellness nurse with senior citizens, is it like having 100 grandparents? >> yeah. we're a big family. >> jimmy: what keeps you going through something like this? >> what really keeps us going is we're a great team, all my co-workers, superiors. we're in it together. we always have each other's
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backs, and we really love these residents, and these residents are our families, and we just do it because it's just something that we do. >> jimmy: are they cut off from their families at this time? >> so they are cut off from visitors, yes. we do have these ipads, it's almost like a robot where we really try to do face time calls with them and as much activity through that ipad as possible so they can see their family members, but otherwise they're isolated. >> jimmy: you have, what, two young kids at home? >> i have two little kids, yeah, 5 and 2. >> jimmy: 5 and 2, very good. and i'm sure that's added stress. now we found you, the way you came to us was through adobe's #honorheroes program. which highlights artwork
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celebrating health care workers and other every day heroes. and who made this portrait of you >> so my sister did it. i sent her a snapchat, and she posted that and it was really cool. >> jimmy: well, we poked around in your profile and we learned some things about you, and i want to introduce you to someone right now. say hello to my dear friend, adam levine, who i understand you enjoy. adam, this is samantha. >> hi, samantha, how are you doing? >> hi, how are you? >> i'm really, really good. you're amazing, we love you. >> jimmy: he's living in a garage. >> yes, i've been demoted to the garage. >> oh, no! >> jimmy: samantha, are there any fantasies that you'd like to share with adam, anything now that you have this intimate chat situation? >> hit me. >> no, oh, my gosh. i just, i miss you on "the voice." i miss -- >> thank you very much. >> watching you and blake shelton.
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>> you know, i miss him, too. as much as i really don't like to admit it. i miss him very much. >> jimmy: i'm sure samantha's a little flustered right now, but she loves you. >> i love you, too. >> jimmy: thank you for saying you love me, but you should say something nice to samantha, too. >> oh, i got it, samantha, i love you as well. i love you both the same. >> jimmy: well, that is very kind. so listen, adam and i have something special for you, okay? the folks at adobe have arranged to give you $10,000 to spend however you like and adobe's going to be giving gift cards for food delivery to each of the nurses in your department to thank them and to honor them, too. but none of it beats adam levine, i will say that. >> and jimmy, it was mostly me. >> jimmy: it was mostly adam. well, anyway, thank you so much, samantha for taking care of our
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>> jimmy: that is all the time we have. i'd like to thank stephen curry, adam levine, samantha, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. nightline is next. thanks for making this isolation feel like an "us"olation. atmospheric river in spring will deliver a soaking starting this weekend. >> big changes coming here to the lake. when it comes to cars like that and food trucks like in. >> bringing restaurants and retailers out doors. the changing economy.
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>> a new wave of unemployment benefits. how it works and who qualifies. >> dedicating more resources to building a better bay area focusing on issues that you're dealing with on a daily basis. health, education, change in workplace and economy. >> there's a growing list of cities across the city planning for restaurant and retail life once with reopen. we have the details on the widespread push for out door dining. >> local restaurants and retailers expected to look much different post pandemic. plans to bring out door dining to life. the moment orders are lifted. the move could keep castro street clear
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