appreciate your time. right now on jimmy ♪ ba, da, ba, ba, da, ba, ♪ ba, da, ba, ba, da, ba, ♪ ♪ jimmy kimmel live this is ridiculous. >> jimmy: hello, and welcome. my name is jimmy kimmel. i host a talk show in my kitchen. which was previously something you might hear from someone with paranoia and delusions. so, maybe i'm not hosting a show. maybe i'm crazy! speaking of crazy, we have a bigly milestone on the way. this weekend, donald trump celebrates his birthday, number 74! so break out the ketchup and cake. donald trump was born on june 14th, 1946, when a pile of soggy cheese fries was struck by a bolt of orange lightning. trump supporters in florida, michigan and arkansas are holding events to celebrate.

and what better way to honor the president than by gathering, to contract the very virus whose existence he denies? by the way, here's one of donald trump's old birthday invitations from a party he had in 1994. the theme was "trump: lord of the financial jungle." that's him and marla maples in jungle garb. this card is amazing for so many reasons. this was 26 years ago and nothing depicted in it now exists. that body is fake, the casino went bankrupt, the marriage ended, that hair is gone. even the elephant in the background was shot and killed by donald jr. the president had a busy day of travel today, but he did find time to tweet. a lot. last night, he wrote about occupy protests in washington state. he must are have been watching tv and tweeted "radical left governor @jayinslee and the mayor of seattle are being taunted and played at a level that our great country has never seen before. take back your city now. if you don't do it, i will.

this is not a game. these ugly anarchists must be stooped immediately. move fast!" they must be stooped! the mayor of seattle tweeted in response "go back to your bunker." oh, that bunker thing must be driving him nuts. why he gets involved in this sort of thing, i have no idea. but he is clearly surrounded by people who are "stooped." the award for most stooped this week goes to trump's chief economic advisor, larry kudlow, who astonished even the most hardened among us by saying this. >> you said you don't believe in systemic racism? i >> at all in the u.s.? >> i do not. >> system eic racism against african-americans in the united states? >> i'll say it again, i do not. >> jimmy: "sir, one more question. can you name a black person? just one. go ahead." i mean, that's so stupid i don't think even donald trump would say it! this, by the way, is the same

guy who said coronavirus was contained three months ago and he's still there. still reporting for duty. only the best people. on the other side of the coin, the side lincoln is on, nascar yesterday announced that they will no longer allow confederate flags at their race events. they put out a statement saying the flag runs contrary to providing a welcoming and inclusive environment for fans, and a lot of fans didn't like that. lots of tweets. "you picked the losing side of this battle. good luck with that." i don't know. pretty sure the confederacy was the losing side of the battle. "pretty soon we will have radios in the car playing rap music." oh, heavens no. not "rap music!" "but i bet people can fly their rainbow flags all day." right. from now on, nascar is gonna be one big gay parade. "bye bye nascar. i have been a fan for 50 plus years. stay out of politics and social issues. just race!" actually, race is exactly what this is about. and, "welp jusi t another sport

won't watch. gonna have a lot of time traveling this beautiful country, fishing and spending time with my grandchildren." i have bad news for your pal. in ten years, your grandchildren will be describing you as "my racist grandpa." so nascar now has done more to fight racism than the white house. but the president is getting back out there. tonight he pressed the flesh at a fundraiser in dallas. no masks, of course. that's nuts. having parties, shaking hands. dallas isn't even a safe place for presidents when there isn't a virus. and he is week-ending at his golf club in new jersey. see that? he's fighting the pandemic and racism at the same time, by not wearing a mask to his very white golf club. the president is planning to hit the road with a series of campaign rallies, starting in tulsa next week. big crowds are expected. and even welcomed. but anyone who gets a ticket has to agree in writing not to sue trump if they get sick. for real. you have to click this liability

release to register. it's like being pregnant on a rollercoaster. but go ahead and take a big swig of bleach before you come anyway. i guess the plan is to just ignore the virus now and hope it goes away. because yesterday, republicans announced they are likely to move their convention to jacksonville, because north carolina, where it was supposed to take place, isn't cray-cray enough for their current level of cray. they are not interested in safety. what they're promising is that this will be a blowout bash! >> want to keep america great? join us in jacksonville, for the 2020 republican national convention, with all your favorite stars and, no social distancing! monday, august 24th, we're packing in more mouth-breathing deplorables than ever before, and we're ventilation! how do you like that, lib-ta

hungry? no napkins, no sneeze guards, no utensils allowed. grab up shrimp and say fork you! the excitement is contagious. >> must be 14. no shirt, no shoes, no problem. not responsible for what happens two weeks later. >> jimmy: florida, still the number one place to die. but florida isn't alone. we are opening things up, for better or worse, here in california too. in new york, they put out a safer sex fact sheet. this is real. this is from the city of new york. they recommend that during intercourse you should wear a face covering or mask. okay. fun. they suggest that you master bait together. you know, you've tried that. it's not the same since they closed the movie theaters. they tell you to be creative

with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact. in other words, glory holes. new york city is recommending glory holes. they tell you to skip sex if you or your partner aren't feeling well. most wives have that one covered and that medical conditions that could put you at risk during sex include lung disease, heart disease, diabetes, obesity. so good news for melania with that one i guess. they even provided tips for group sex. large gatherings of any type are not safe during covid-19. but if you decide to find a crowd, below are tips to reduce your risk of spreading or getting covid-19. limit yu tthe size of your gues list. pick larger, more open, and well ventilated space. bring an alcohol-based hand

sanitizer. can you imagine rolling into an orgy with a pump bottle of purell? everyone will be required to wear these andrew cuomo underpants, which are available now on etsy. we have our own expert on the show on sex and everything else. from her home in los angeles it's time for a quarantine edition of dear aunt chippy. >> okay. here we are. now that my upstairs neighbors are home all day, all they do is have sex. what's something sum amimple i yell at them to make them stop? fire! just yell fire! i'm sure they will stop having sex if they hear "fire." what a moron. ah. >> jimmy: well, thanks, aunt chippy. we have music from the clark sisters, and we'll be back with

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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. later on the show we have something very special. they have three grammys, and a movie on lifetime called "the clark sisters: first ladies of gospel." the legendary clark sisters will talk us to church on a thursday night. next week, join us with mark ruffalo, sarah paulson, bill burr, the roastmaster general jeff ross and amy schumer too. our guest tonight is an actress, activist, recording artist and talk show host. she is also the star of an inspiring viral video, please welcome keke palmer. hi, keke. >> how are you?

it's good to see you, man, in this new surrounding. join it's good to see you, too. i like that painting you have on the wall. >> i like those logs in the back. join thanks, everybody loves my logs. i think of you as a very upbeat person, and i think every keke has to be an upbeat person. it just goes with the name. are you feeling upbeat? >> um, i think, i do feel upbeat. i'm a positive person by nature, but i do think my empathic side is being weighed down by what's going on right now. >> jimmy: this video i referenced has 25 million views. before we show it, i want to ask, have you been to a protest of any kind before? >> um, yes. i mean, i went to the protests in ferguson for mike brown. you've been to many different protests, but not one look this in a tomb luke, i mean, like this. i think especially with all the stuff that was happening with

quarantine, so kind of just being around that many people at once was, it was a lot. it was different. it was a different energy, i think, because none of us had been anywhere in a while. >> jimmy: were you thinking about what you might say if you were confronted with, in this case, national guard? had you thought about that before you said what you said? >> no. i didn't plan on really seeing nub li anybody out there like that out there. we were just marching, walking, i hadn't been around much people in a while, so i really, really wanted to be out there and protest for this cause. and then i saw, though, the national guardsmen, and they were like blocking us from going further with the peaceful protest. and i think in that moment i was just kind of, i was weirded out a bit and kind of confused i think from a genuine, naïve place of being confused as to why there's this separation between us, like they're human like i'm human. i know they have a job to do, but i don't know, i felt like,

why can't they be with us, marching with us. especially now, i foeel like evn with what happened with general milley, there's a division from every angle, whether you're in the military, black, white, whatever. we all need to come together, and i think i just was really overwhelmed, and i didn't know really what i was saying. i was just really speaking from my heart and how i was feeling, and, you know, that was that. >> jimmy: let's take a look at what happened there. >> you have people in here that need your help. this is when you, y'all stand together with the community, with society, to stop, to stop the governmental oppression, period. we need you. >> i agree but. >> so march with us. y'all get your people, march beside us, march beside us. show us that you are here for us. make history with us. >> we are protecting some of these businesses. >> okay, okay. will you do me a favor? can you do me afavor?

can y can you take a knee? can you make a knee? that ain't enough for me. >> thank you! >> thank you. >> jimmy: now you said you didn't feel like the knee was enough from those guys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, because i felt like we had an opportunity in that moment to, you know, we have the current administration making a point to make a statement about division. i felt like let's just come together. let's be beyond that. let's be beyond what's happening. it was a rusk. i understand he has a job to do. but i think in my mind i was just thinking, what if your job is telling you to do something you don't believe in, i know you want to be out here with me. i know we want to walk side by side, so let's just do it. >> jimmy: i that i'sink that's dilemma a lot in the military

have. i heard you got a call from joe biden. >> he wanted to talk to me after that i suppose. we had a conversation. i didn't get to ask him everything i wanted to ask him, but it was good to talk, you know, and hear what he's talking about and what he's saying. you know, right now. >> jimmy: mm-hm. and did you feel that he is on the right track? >> such a loaded question, right? because i mean, i guess he was, so i guess he was cool, but i can't say i was, after the convo i felt thrilled or excited per se, but it was good to talk and just to hear first hand. >> jimmy: did you tell joe when you had him on the phone that you have a new single out called "thick"? >> no, i did not share with joe my new single "thick". i didn't share that with joe. i probably would have put him out with that. he not ready for the thickness. >> jimmy: i like the idea behind "thick." tell everybody what the song's

about. >> soive abe i've been having s fun with my music lately, a moment of spoprespond nayity. woo we've been in quarantine,ive abeen getting really thick. you're in the house. you're eating. >> jimmy: i know. the refrigerator's in the house is the problem. if i could move the refrigerator to work i would be okay. hey, every night i will be making a donation, and tonight you've chosen the charity black visions collective. tell us a luittle about that. >> i like the black visions collective because they're talking about the future of black people, and also what love about them spuecifically i they include the lgbtq community. sometimes they can be overshadowed. that's what i think mostly i was excited about, it's all black lives matters.

>> jimmy: the website is blackvisionsmm.org. thank you very much, keke. great to see you. >> thank you, it's good seeing you, too, man. i hope we get to see each other soon in person. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with music from the clark sisters. >> dicky: portions of jumimmy kimmel live are brought to you by the makers of dixie plates and cups. these fudge brownie m&m's are really fyes they are. to put a fudge brownie center in an m&m's is... genius! i know.

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>> dicky: the jumimmy

live" consrt series is brought to you by mercedes benz. >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. this -- you are going to like this. >> jimmy kimmel, thank you so much for having us. we want you to declare victory in your life. ♪ ♪ we declare victory victory over your life every now and then it's hard to see ♪ ♪ but you got to decree and see victory we declare victory victory over your life ♪ ♪ don't be dismayed god knows your need but you got to decree

and see victory ♪ ♪ it may appear like you've been knocked down but with god you won't be bound ♪ ♪ just open up your mouth speak a word over your life ♪ ♪ don't fear we walk by faith and not by sight we declare victory victory over your life ♪ victory over your life ♪ ♪ every now and then it's hard to seet u got toe ♪ stop speaking negativity in your atmosphere just walk in your authority for the ♪

♪ lord is near i serve notice to the enemy you can't have my family ♪ ♪ you can't have my mind you can't have my life cause jesus said i come that you might have ♪ ♪ life abundantly prosper and be in good health good moves. or hydration. neutrogena® hydro boost. the number 1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer instantly delivers 2 times the hydration. and keeps hydrating all day long. running dry of supple, bouncy skin? never! hydro boost. pair with hydro boost nd.

neutrogena® pair with hydro boost nd. ♪ we stick together, ♪ for worse or for better ♪ (yeah) ♪ through any kind of weather, ♪ (yo) ♪ you're my friend in need. ♪ (come on, come on) ♪ we stick... ♪ rolling stone calls the hilarious and heartfelt.d, are you a weirdo? ugh, the weirdest. judd apatow's best movie yet. i don't even know why you clean the truck... what are you trying to show up all sexy to a fire? i like him. this moment right now... this is our commencement. no, we'll not get a diploma or a degree of any kind. but we are entering a new chapter in our lives. our confidence is shaken; our hearts cracked. the kind of a crack that comes from the loss of a job; from life plans falling apart.

we didn't ask for it... but we are rising to meet it. and how far we've come isn't even close to how far we can go. we just have to remember how patient we were... how strong we can be. (how strong you can be.) and remember this; there's a crack in everything for a reason. how else can the light get in? ♪ tomorrow starts today.

find a stock basedtech. on your interests tomorrow or what's trending. get real-time insights in your customized view of the market. it's smarter trading technology for smarter trading decisions. fidelity. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. even though it feels like we have all been sitting around doing nothing for months, quarantine has actually been busy for most of us. but as guillermo recently learned, it doesn't have to be

hard. >> guillermo: i know it seems like i don't work too much, but i have a lot on my plate. i have to exercise. help me! help me! i have to give my son a haircut. i have to make dinner. and then i have to do the dishes. hey, dixie, take something off my plate. >> jimmy: what can dixie take off your plate? head to dixie off my plate.com, and tell dixey what they can take off your plate, whether it's help with the dishes, a new lawnmower or an epic way to occupy the kids. you could be one of 500 winners selected each week. >> guillermo: thank you, dixie. >> dicky: share your need with dixie at dixieoffmyplate.com. >> jimmy: that is the time we have. i'd like to thank keke palmer, the clark sisters, and apologize to matt damon. "nightline" is next. now if you'll excuse me, i'm

gonna go stand in front of the refrigerator. goodnight. this is "nightline." >> tonight, race and policing. >> hands up high in the air. face away from us. walk to the sidewalk. >> the abc news investigation revealing startling statistics on black americans. >> i felt very disrespected because of my skin color. >> and how one cop navigates the tensions of being black and blue. >> there's a flawed criminal justice system, and so we have to start all over again. >> plus, leading voices. the exclusive circle of black female mayors overseeing some of the biggest cities in the country. facing turmoil and how their leadership is shaping the future of america. >> night le"nightline" starts r with byr