thanks for watching tonight. i'm ama daetz. >> and i'm dion lim. right now on ♪ ♪ jimmy ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i am jimmy. welcome to my home, my workplace, my gym, my restaurant, my little pony. whatever you need, we have it all. we are now in the fourth month of quarantine, which is crazy. but life is slowly coming back. on friday in l.a., they opened museums and gyms. which makes no sense to me. first of all, who needs to go to a museum? if i don't see a woolly mammoth statue stuck in sludge, am i gonna go nuts? and secondly who would go to the gym now?

i'm not going to the gym during a pandemic. or after a pandemic. i'm just not going to the gym ever again. donald trump had quite a weekend. he put on a bigly presentation at west point on saturday, where he showed up to give a commencement speech whether the graduates wanted it or not. the cadets at west point were sent home in march because of the virus. but then trump decided he wanted to give a speech in person and so all the cadets were ordered to return to campus and stay in quarantine for two weeks. they were literally a captive audience. so our commander in beef could pretend he's in charge of the military. and of course some of the cadets wound up testing positive for the virus, but what is most important is that donald trump had an audience for what turned out to be a historic speech. no president in the history of this country has ever taken a weirder drink of water than this. [ applause ] is that one of the side effects

of hydroxy? what is up with his hand? did he hurt it holding the bible upside-down? let's look at that again. because there is clearly something going on with his right arm. it's weak. and this is not the first time we've seen this. this is from november of 2017, he opened the bottle but needed two hands to drink it. and this one, he's like a witch sipping out of a goblet of toadstools. and he had another weird move on memorial day. he folds his arms and then gives his right arm a weak shake. is possible that, like many former members of his staff, his arm just doesn't want to work with him anymore? his arm is like, "listen, you used me to grab women, to tweet lies, to shovel mcnuggets into that bloat hole, to sharpie a hurricane, i've had enough. i quit. i'm joining my friend penis and going limp."

remember when trump made fun of marco rubio drinking water? >> it's rubio! >> jimmy: oh, he's so talented. that is from the spray tan collar comedy tour. and then as if the water thing wasn't weird enough, he took a very strange walk down a ramp, did you see this? show that clip. ♪ no, that's -- i think that's the wrong clip. no, i need the clip of the president from west point on saturday. this was a big topic online this weekend. so after his speech, he shakes hands with the lieutenant general, gives him a wave and then down he goes. slowly tippy-tapping down the ramp. very tentatively. like he's walking on sharp rocks.

maybe the bone spurs are acting up? everyone was wondering what was going on. we found out, it turns out he still had his clown shoes on. that was weird, right? we can only hope he steps down that gracefully after november. so they post the video and everyone goes nuts and our unstable genius can't take it. instead of just letting it go, ramplestiltskin tweets, "the ramp that i descended after my west point commencement speech was very long and steep, had no handrail and, most importantly, was very slippery. the last thing i was going to do is fall for the fake news to have fun with. final ten feet i ran down to level ground. momentum." final ten feet, he ran down? no, he did not. and the idea that the ramp was slippery seems suspect considering there was not a cloud in the sky. maybe some curly fries fell out of his pocket on the way up? trump is very defensive about anything that makes him look

weak. he doesn't wear a mask, he's too strong to get coronavirus. "i wasn't in the bunker for protection, i was inspecting it." "i wasn't shuffling down that ramp like an old man, it was slippery and i ran down it. also the ramp was covered in banana peels and there were many snakes. i am braver than every soldier." we wrote that, but it isn't out of the realm of possibility. and by the way, for all the fun donald makes of him, this was joe biden going up that same mpp at the time biden was 73, which is the same age trump was on saturday. so slow and sleepy wins the race. trump is now 74 years old because he had a birthday sunday, which is something he of course couldn't help but mention in his speech. >> tomorrow, america will celebrate a very important anniversary. the 245th birthday of the united

states army. unrelated, going to be my birthday also. i don't know if that happened by accident. did that happen by accident, please? >> jimmy: yes, it did. by the way, june 14th was also the date the first monkey was launched into space. june 14th, 1949. that was not a coincidence. but on sunday donald trump turned 74. 74 years ago yesterday, rosemary had a baby. and that little baby grew into a bigger baby. and now that big old baby is our president. here in l.a., we celebrated his birthday exactly the way trump would have wanted us to. we had an all black lives matter pride march. but in florida and san diego, they took to the sea, celebrating with a parade of boats. statues of donald trump, donald trump blow-up dolls. not intended to be used as a flotation device. where's that sharknado when you need it?

trump's family went all out for daddy's big day, too. he got a card from his daughter, thank you for every job i've ever had. jared said, i'm a mannequin standing in front of an orangutan. here's one from melania, happy birthday to best husband, get away. from is senate, dear mr. president, happy birthday from the bottom of my pouch, mitch. and from his predecessor, there's a term for guys like you. but not two terms. happy birthday, barack obama. and from another rival, mitt romney. and from joe biden, here's the deal, jack, i'm going to clean your clock in november.

joe biden. p.s., where to put my teeth? and this one, dads like you are an endangered species, but we promise not to shoot. eric and don jr. and from tiffany, here's my routing number. and finally, trump's most loyal admirer said, hope you have a ball on your birthday. you already have both of mine. woof, woof. mike pence. that's nice. we need to take a break. when we come back, the very funny bill burr will join us. so stick around. ♪ ♪ come now set the past on fire ♪ ♪ stand up raise your face to the sky my love ♪ ♪ together we can take it higher ♪ ♪ together we can take it higher ♪ ♪ come now set the past on fire ♪ ♪ stand up raise your face to the sky my love ♪

♪ together we can take it higher ♪ ♪ together we can take it higher ♪ ♪ we can take it higher ((cat 2) flook at that!! (cat 1) it's made with real farm-raised chicken! (cat 2) i gotta get my paws on that! (cat 1) it's friskies farm favorites! (cat 2) the winning farm-ula. (woman vo) feed their fantasy. ♪ friskies (cat 1) look! friskies ocean favorites! yum! this is hal's heart. it's been broken. and put back together. this is also hal's heart. and his relief, knowing he's covered by blue cross blue shield. and this is our promise, with over 80 years of healthcare expertise: to be here for you now. and always. this is medicare from blue cross blue shield. this is the benefit of blue. this is a surprisingly filling snack

♪ in a little can. ♪ v8. the original plant-powered drink. veg up. these fudge brownie m&m's are really fyes they are.ink. to put a fudge brownie center in an m&m's is... genius! i know. i was going to say hard! why won't you... ughhhh... ahhh! why won't you go in... new fudge brownie m&m's. (for just $100 a month. switch to sprint and get four lines of unlimited

plus, to really amp this up, we're including four amazing iphone 11s, on us, when you trade in iphone 6ss or newer, in any condition. and now, sprint customers enjoy access to expanded coverage on the t-mobile network. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com. i'm going to need you to ... never mind. can't touch this. ♪ help! can't touch this. ♪ (baby cries) you can't touch this. new cheetos popcorn. ♪

i'm going to need you to ... never mind. can't touch this. ♪ help! can't touch this. ♪ (baby cries) you can't touch this. new cheetos popcorn. ♪>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live from my

house." tomorrow night, the incredible hulk, mark ruffalo, will be with us. we will honor a health care hero. and later this week, sarah paulson, jeffrey ross, and pharrell williams. our guest tonight is one of the funniest guys there is. he's got an animated show, "f is for family" on netflix, listen to his podcast, and see him woo marisa tomei in the new judd apatow movie, "the king of staten island" available now on vod. hello, bill burr, how are you doing? >> what's going on, jimmy? >> jimmy: oh, you know. >> just sitting in the house? >> jimmy: i admire the fact that you've chosen to wear the giant, old-timey headphones and not the little ones. >> i hate those, my ears are messed up from playing drums. i got these at a radio shack or best buy. am i supposed to have the little straws that people have coming out? i would lose those in a second.

>> jimmy: by the way, i want to mention, because you -- i drove by your house a few months ago at the beginning of this quarantine. at the time, you said you weren't missing doing stand-up. how are you feeling three months later? >> now i miss it. i think i missed it then, i wasn't in touch with it. it was like i got dumped. i don't care, i don't need stand-up anyway. now, i don't know. >> jimmy: you probably would have been home because your wife had a baby. >> yes, i have a duaughter and son now. it's awesome. and fortunately, he seemed to be emotionally wired like my wife. he's totally chill. he just cries when he is hungry. >> jimmy: my billy seemed chill,

now he seems like a full-fledged maniac. >> that's what parents do. my daughter is chill, they go, you know what that means. they take out the warm goat's milk, start looking at the stars, and always predict something horrible will happen. and whatever age their kid is, if your kid is younger, it's like, oh, you are at 17 weeks? wait until 18 weeks. you ever think maybe you suck at being a parent? or maybe the dna -- >> jimmy: no. >> maybe you made a little serial killer. maybe that's what you did. i bet jeffrey dahmer's parents are like, wait until he discovers animals. it's like, they didn't realize jeffrey would eat people someday. >> jimmy: you might have a point. he's not eating people. >> i definitely have a point. i definitely have a point. people always trying to get,

also, if you have an interracial kid, people are always trying to guess. it's either going to be really good-looking or really weird-looking. dude, look around, most people are weird-looking. look at me, i'm 100% white dude. i'm a weird-looking dude. the best dogs are mixed dogs. they're the chillest. >> jimmy: you're absolutely right on that. >> that's why in england, the royal family, that's why they're all weird-looking. they're like a bunch of dalmatians that can talk. >> jimmy: that's right. >> that are purebred lunatics. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about dalmatians. because you play a firefighter in "the king of staten island." i'm assuming you did some

training or a ridealong. >> i did the actor version. about four hours, bottles of water, little fans. the island just north of roosevelt island where they train them, i forget the name. we went into a building, had to go in twice, once to fight the fire, another time to crawl through a smoky room. we wore the gear, and just going up a flight of stairs, i felt like i was in "my 600-pound life." my heart was coming out of my chest. but when we did the movie, they did the actor version of the suit, they took the oxygen out of the tank, that's seven, eight pounds off your back. i think i had a john barbados

fireman jacket on or something. there was craft service, we could take a break whenever we wanted to. and judd was also, he understood it was the last week of july, it was hot as hell in the bronx. he made sure to keep it moving, getting people in and out. >> jimmy: you did a great job in the movie, and you have a fantastic mustache. it's almost yosemite sam-esque. is that real, is that your own hair? >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: good stuff. >> you just told me to stop shaving. we started shooting in june, that's like two months. but when it was a beard, i looked like a hipster. i had a clean-shaved head, and this scraggly-looking thing. >> jimmy: if you were making me an espresso --

>> i kind of looked like i was in the gay s and m stuff. and june is pride monthn new york city. >> jimmy: right. >> there was an extra amount of gay guys in there. but i didn't get one look. i got nothing. i'm officially -- i'm old to everybody now. >> jimmy: we're going to turn that around. we're going to take a break. bill burr is with us from "the king of staten island." we'll be right back. [shouting] [clapping and shouting] [cymbals clanging]

[knocking] room for seven. and much, much more. the first-ever glb. get 0% apr financing up to 36 months on most models, and 90-day first-payment deferral on any model. ♪[ siren ] & doug give me your hand! i can save you... lots of money with liberty mutual!

we customize your car insurance so you only pay for what you need! only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ for ralphie's appointment. who's his groomer? carrie. full groom for sure what? i just booked ralphie's appointment online. that work? wait you what? it's that easy! download the app or book online at petsmart.com if there was one immediate when we closed in march,wynn it was keeping all 15,000 team-members on board with full pay and free testing for all. we then focused our five-star level of service to all who needed it and did what we always do.

we cared about everything and everyone. in our communities and in our homes, we were there. with food and supplies and with love. we made improvements to people's lives. we strove to be better. and we made people happy. like we always do. this closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore. but it couldn't take the wynn and encore out of us. and now... we are proud to welcome you back.

♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live from my house." bill burr is with us from his house. he has a new baby at home. were you in the delivery room, or because of covid are they not allowing that? >> it was like a bronx tale. once you go in, you can't leave. >> jimmy: were you of any help? >> no, and i shouldn't be, because i'm not a doctor. when you go to jiffy lube, are you of any help? that's not my job, i got her there before she had the kid, and i pay the bills. so yes, i was of help.

>> jimmy: your show, "f is for family," you have mike from "breaking bad." >> jonathan banks. he and my family were huge fans of him all the way back to "beverly hills cop," he was the heavy that shakes down axel foley. he shakes down axel's friend. hey, mikey. did you get lost? >> jimmy: i didn't realize that. >> in my house, that was a catch phrase. if you were late for dinner, what happened, mikey, did you get lost? that meant you were in trouble. he was so cool to meet, got to know him. just a great guy. and now he's doing the cartoon. >> jimmy: each night we have a

charity. you chose st. jude's research hospital. a great organization, they do so many great things for children and families who need it. i'm going to make a donation in your honor. bill burr, "king of staten island," "f is for family," and a very funny podcast. thank you, and congratulations on the baby. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we'll be right back. ♪ (female vo) when it comes to longevity, who has the highest percentage of its vehicles still on the road today? subaru. when it comes to best overall value, who does intellichoice rank number one? subaru. and when it comes to safety, who has more 2020 iihs top safety pick+ winning vehicles? more than toyota, honda, and hyundai-combined? subaru.

it's easy to love a car you can trust. it's easy to love a subaru. get 0% apr financing for 63 months on select subaru models now through june 30th. " when better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them." it's why all of the tyson chicken that bears his name is raised with no antibiotics ever. every nugget, strip and drumstick. keep it real. keep it tyson. they're going to be paying for this for a long time. they will, but with accident forgiveness allstate won't raise your rates just because of an accident, even if it's your fault. cut! sonny. was that good? line! the desert never lies. isn't that what i said? no you were talking about allstate and insurance. i just... when i... let's try again. everybody back to one. accident forgiveness from allstate. click or call for a quote today. accident forgiveness from allstate. good mormore treatment? we're going to try something different today.

hi! awwww, so pretty. dogs bring out the good in us. pedigree® brings out the good in them. theand we want to thank times, the extraordinary people in the healthcare community, working to care for all of us. at novartis, we promise to do our part. as always, we're doing everything we can to help keep cosentyx accessible and affordable. if you have any questions at all, call us, email us, visit us online. we're here to help support you when you need us. take care, and be well. to learn more, call one eight four four cosentyx or visit cosentyx.com

♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live from my house." you know, being a dad isn't an

easy job, especially these days. so the folks at planters peanuts want to remind fathers everywhere that their kids are nuts about them. >> fatherhood is wonderful. but it's exhausting. we do so much for our kids, teach them to ride a bike, telling them about bees and birds. even hosting a homeschool graduation ceremony. ♪ welcome to second grade, class of 2020. you did it. give yourself a big hand. and i'm going to give myself a big hand. a handful of planters nuts to help me keep going. speaking of planters, please welcome your graduation speaker, baby nut. >> benjy, you are the future. believe in yourself. live your dreams. and finally, go nuts. >> thank you, baby nut.

now, let's get this dance party started. ♪ >> planters wants to wish you a happy father's day. share your favorite stories using #nutsaboutdad. >> jimmy: that is all the time we have. i'd like to thank bill burr and apologize to matt damon. mark ruffalo will be with us tomorrow. "nightline" is next. and if you need me, i'll be right here, watching you sleep. ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, deadly police shooting. how a routine call to police escalated. >> you're going to get tased! >> what bystander video and surveillance tape reveal about the death of rayshard brooks, the latest racial flashpoint in america. >> i didn't know i was going to wake up to my husband never coming home. plus, let it fall. looking back at the 1992 l.a. riots. a flare-up of years of injustice boiling over. now, the documentary. how the pain of the past is reflected in the push