thanks for watching. >> for all of us, we appreciate your time. o jim sarah ♪ ba, da, ba, ♪ ba, da, ba, ba, da, ba, ♪ ♪ jimmy kimmel live this is ridiculous. from his house. >> jimmy: hi there, you. it's me, jimmy, in my house again. which is now kind of "our" house. but don't come try to live in it. the nba seems ready to get back to work. yesterday, the league proposed 113 pages worth of safety rules and procedures for the rest of the season. first of all, all the games will be played at disney world, which right off the bat seems like the least safe place to be during a peter pan-demic. but they have a lot of precautions in place. the players will be housed together. they will quarantine ahead of

time and be tested every day. players will be discouraged from licking their fingers and clearing their noses on the court. were they encouraged to do that before this? players will be required to shower in their hotel rooms instead of the locker room. that's -- i mean, i don't think it's even worth playing basketball if you can't cap it off by scrubbing up with the team loofa! and also, no one will be allowed to touch the ball. so that sounds doable! meanwhile, our basketball-head president is about to go back on the road, but first he is fending off another round of tell-all books. trump is said to be planning to file a lawsuit against his niece, mary trump, over a forthcoming memoir that reportedly does not paint uncle donny in a positive light. this is the book. it's called "too much and never enough: how my family created the world's most dangerous man." which is a lot longer than the original title, which was "my uncle is a dick." trump claims his niece's book would violate the terms of a

non-disclosure agreement he had her sign in 2001. imagine having an nda with your niece. that's really all you need to know about someone. the other book he would very much like to keep from coming out is from a member of his inner circle, former national security advisor, john bolton. we got a few mcnuggets today and among many unbelievable claims in the book, bolton writes that trump said journalists should be executed. that he didn't know britain was a nuclear power, that he asked if finland was part of russia, he begged the chinese to help him with the election, and has a penis that looks like a mushroom. though i may have picked that u thing up from the stormy daniels book. can you imagine the president asking if finland is part of russia? he's the president of the united states! that's like your mechanic asking if the muffler is part of the glove compartment. meanwhile, remember when trump was pushing hydroxychloroquine as a coronavirus miracle drug?

well, the fda this week withdrew their support for it, and now the government is stuck with 66 million useless doses. so i guess we know what the trumps will be giving trick or treaters on halloween. for the next 30 years. cases of the virus are on the rise in more than 20 states, but most everything is opening anyway. restaurants are allowed to open here in l.a., but because of the safety measures, many of them will be half empty. so some restaurants have been using mannequins to fill the empty seats. which is very weird and raises another question. where in the world do you buy a mannequin? >> attention restaurant owners! looking mannequins to place at your social distance buffer tables but don't want to pay an arm and a leg? come and get'em at big al's gently exploded mannequins. there's headless harry.

lefty, the bing-bing twins. the sparkle sisters. one-eyed willie, and jared kushner. your customers will never know the difference. so don't be a dummy, get over a exploded mannequins, right behind the dairy queen. curbside pickup available. >> jimmy: big al is the best. this is wonderful. in ventura, california, which is about 90 minutes up the 101, the city council voted to require that masks be worn inside and outside government offices, and the result of that vote was this. >> i protest face coverings! i am a healthy american! i used to be free. i am not a terrorist. i am not antifa. i am not a sex slave that wears masks. i am not into say dough

masochism and bondage. >> jimmy: oh, that's too bad. you almost checked all the boxes off my list. so then what are you? >> i am a proud trump republican! trump republican! yearning to be free again! >> jimmy: she's yearning. she's yearning to be free to go to margaritaville! >> shame on all of you! let liberty ring! ♪ god bless america ♪ land that i love >> jimmy: wait, don't stop there. go for it! finish the song! ♪ from the oceans to the prairies ♪ ♪ to the mountains white with foam ♪ >> jimmy: mountains -- white with foam? the foam seems to be coming out of your mouth. meanwhile, the president is holding a rally this weekend in tulsa, and folks like her are already lining up. >> i'm here with mike boatman, and he is from evansville,

indiana, and right now you're the fourth person in line, right? >> yes, i'm the fourth. >> when did you get here? >> i got here 28 hours ago. >> awesome. why did you want to come out here to tulsa this weekend? >> i wanted to hear president trump speak. what he does for our country, for every one of us is nothing for me to be out here six days early. >> jimmy: thank you for your sacrifice. the bait shop's loss is america's gain. this country is an absolute mess, but change is happening. a number of major companies have begun to re-think the messages sent by some of their products. pepsico announced today they're changing the name and logo for "aunt jemima," because they "recognize that aunt jemima's origins are based on a racial stereotype." the new name will be "mrs. jemima's syrup that she has willingly volunteered to share." uncle ben's is also planning to make a change to their rice. going forward, the original uncle ben will be replaced by uncle ben from "spider-man."

with great power comes great rice-ponsibility. i'm sorry. i'm sure the gang at fox news will have no problem with these changes whatsoever. i have a good idea for a new aunt jemima. if they're looking for an aunt, my aunt chippy would be great. it could be the first pancake syrup that smokes cigarettes. my aunt chippy does not sugar-coat anything, even pancakes. she barely even brushes her teeth! but she gives good advice, which is something many of our viewers need. so tonight, she is advising again with a new edition of dear aunt chippy. ♪ >> hi, this is aunt chippy from quarantine, answering your questions. dear aunt chippy, i had to cancel my wedding this summer, awe. now my fiance is pressuring me to do it. i read that you weren't a virgin when you got married. that's [ bleep ]. do you have any tips for me to

satisfy my future husband? divorce him now. don't even wait for the wedding. divorce his [ bleep ]. you don't need him. can you live fine without >> jimmy: she's nothing if not a romantic. we have a good show for you to tonight, i'm going to get in the car to visit jeffrey ross, and we will be right back with sarah paulson. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by messenger rooms. ♪ ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. in just a bit, i will get in my car and drive to the home of comedian jeff ross for a new edition of carantine. and tomorrow night, pharrell williams will join us. my guest tonight is an emmy and golden globe winner you know from "american horror story," "american crime story," and the miniseries "mrs. america."

she's very patriotic. you can see her on fx and hulu now. please welcome sarah paulson. how how are you? >> i'm okay, gemm, gemmy, gemm , suppimmy: i'm okay, were you supposed to be filming a new film. >> yeah. >> jimmy: would you be playing linda tripp, who i think you're going to put a photograph on the screen who you do not resemble in any way. marsha clark, you really wiansformed into her, but this .ill require more than just a perm. >> this is going to require a bt of things. i'll be wearing a lot of prosthetics and body transformational akrut rament. t jimmy: did you meet with

linda tripp before she passed away a couple months ago? >> she passed away pretty early uato the quarantine situation. justdied, and i never met her. eust like i never met marsha until we were basically finished canting it. it can get complicated. >> jimmy: interesting. sh i didn't meet linda, i don't know if she would have been buing anything like that. but i got as many text messages as if i'd died, like she was my best friend, i'm so sorry to tar about linda, i'm really sorry to hear about it, too. d didn't know her. adind been spending so much time reading all these books and working with a dialect coach. so i was immersed in this, it was a very wild thing and really my: make me sad. >> jimmy: that's when you know you're good actor, when you get

condolences for someone you haven't even played yet. >> i was like, wow. >> jimmy: this character in onrs. america" is not a real person, right? is it an amalgamation? it i guess people call her the composite person. you have it's not very exciting. like the hollow, my character, ed t was exciting about it was i played the one character who starts in a particular place, not just geographically, but ends up not necessarily going erom the conservative side to the more liberal way of thinking but she has her eyes opened. she started out closed minded nnd ends up at the conference in ere'ton and does some drugs, and there's a kind of, a whole lot i shakin' going on, if you know what i'm sayin'. ll jimmy: not what you would

typically associate with the equal rights amendment. >> no, but she went down the my:bit hole. >> jimmy: have you done d youthing you set out to do? did you make a list when the oiarantine began and say yeah, ffm going to knock this off and that off? at i did try to think about rving but honestly, it's a very unnerving thing for me to not be working. i realize i've been very lucky to be working a lot these last few years, so i don't know what to do with myself. i' i've had a new love affair with s. cell phone and all my devices. fididn't know you got notifications as to how much screen time you're logging. >> jimmy: oh, yes. >> the maximum i met during this time was 11 hours and 42 minutes immycreen time. >> jimmy: in one day? :> in one day. >> jimmy: what was most of it ome instagram? i'm veryof it was that. i'm very into the app marco itlo, where you can deposit a talk.little note and not have to flk.

nge face time zooming thing is becoming a little like, and what are you going to say, i'm so busy? you can't get out of it. >> jimmy: there are no excuses that work. >> basically, it was a lot of listening to the coronavirus tily briefing and watching some b the stuff on my phone, since that's been disbanded yesterday s. time was three hours and 16 minutes. >> jimmy: dr. fauci did a whole season of "dancing with the stars," and nobody even noticed. tiery night i'm making a you tion to charity. tiu chose the loveland foundation, tell us about that. ite not heard about that one. >> it was founded, it was erarted by rachel cargold, a inderful teacher and author and all in all incredible person, but she started this foundation asat provides financial assistance to black women and girls seeking therapy, nationally. knowshe's raised a lot, you know, they match a black woman with a black child or a black young woman to access care,

mental health wise, and they pay my: it. a jimmy: excellent. mo and they raise a lot of orney, and it is a wonderful organization. >> jimmy: it is loveland foundation.org. thank you, i hope you get out of the house soon. l rah paulson, everybody. r'll be back with a visit to jeff ross. dicky: >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by planters, a fan of dads everywhere. ople in the healthcare community, working to care for all of us. at novartis, we promise to do our part. as always, we're doing everything we can to help keep cosentyx accessible and affordable. if you have any questions at all, call us, email us, visit us online. we're here to help support you when you need us. take care, and be well. to learn more, call one eight four four cosentyx or visit cosentyx.com ) at)'s rl rmicn! frki wld 2

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honey butter chicken biscuit, sausage egg and swiss croissant or frosty-ccino. and get another for a dollar. you and wendy's breakfast. tomorrow is lookin' good! if there was one immediate when we closed in march,wynn it was keeping all 15,000 team-members on board with full pay and free testing for all. we then focused our five-star level of service to all who needed it and did what we always do. we cared about everything and everyone. in our communities and in our homes, we were there. with food and supplies and with love. we made improvements to people's lives. we strove to be better. and we made people happy.

like we always do. this closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore. but it couldn't take the wynn and encore out of us. and now... we are proud to welcome you back. >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. you know, video chat is fine, but i've been missing real interaction with my friends. so i came up with a safe way to

socialize, which is, i drive to someone's house and yell at them from my car. and with that said, it's time to visit the roastmaster general, jeffrey ross. ♪ >> jimmy: wow. hare krishna. >> how's this move? >> jimmy: very patriotic. i like it. >> great to see you, bud. >> jimmy: it's great to see you, how you doin'? >> can i take my mask down? is it all right? >> jimmy: it may frighten, but . is that your dog? >> yeah. it's my new dog. come here, rona, meet everybody. >> jimmy: when you found her on the street, she came to you? >> my girlfriend found her in

hawthorn. she was tied to a pole with some food left. and we we wentnd na d't know >> jim: ni. y but now that i've got to f know her, she's old and limps and smells like king kong's [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it smells like you're a little late inn d yoga online. >> i've been doing yoga with people on instagram, because you just can't, you have to stay grounded. people getting crazy during this whole thing. you've got to find some inner peace. >> jimmy: does it give you inner peace? >> it does. everything's changing. even religion. we used to say if someone sneezed, jimmy, we'd say "god bless you."

now you say [ bleep ] get the hell away from me. >> jimmy: i like the yoga stand up. it's nice. you could make double as much money. >> not as staying home. >> jimmy: what about the president? do you think he's doing a good job with this whole deal? >> i am fighting the war against covid-19 the same way our [ laughter ]ught the war home. >> jimmy: he wants you right out there. he wants you to get back out there, jeff, no more yoga. he wants you on the road. >> i get to stay home, chill, smoke a little, do some yoga. >> jimmy: are you careful when you go out though? >> i'm very careful. you have to be. first of all, i very rarely go out. i'm a germaphobe. the dog's a germaphobe. don't go out at all. wried. i work from home. i sit in front of the computer all day, talkingse l porky pig.

a shirt and no pants. >> jimmy: well, i like your garage. >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's a lot of pictures together of our old show. >> jimmy: don rickles? what did he write on that, th by don rickles. [ laughter ] >> a fan gave me this. [ laughter ] >> we both look better with hair. >> jimmy: that's -- >> people give me weird stuff about the show, jimmy. >> jimmy: and you keep it. >> he keeps it all. >> jimmy: thanks, jeff, i miss you. >> i miss you too. it's great to see you. >> jimmy: great to see you, too, jeffrey ross. listen to his podcast and do yoga along with jeff. >>hankyou.

>> jim you, jimmy.spital. i'll come back around. >> nama stay. >> jimmy: nama stay. thank you, jeff, you're biefl. you can join jeff and dave attell for their show "bumping mics" online, and they're doing a special virtual father's day ball-bust on saturday. you can get tickets at the address on your screen. we'll be right back. de deep. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by creative roots. that's why we're expanding your range of choices. many dealers now offer optional pick-up & delivery home deliveryndpealexpanding nae arrangements.ices. or prefer the comfort of home you can count on the very highest level of service. get 0% apr financing up to 36 months on most models,

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. >> jimmy: hello, i'm james kimmel with a message for parents. due to the quarantine you're probably doing more for your children than ever before. but there's one thing you may be

overlooking, making sure they're properly hydrated. assess the color of their urine or pee. sometimes, if your child lacks hydration their ireurine may be orange in hue. they may be unfocussed. they may be tired like sam or angry like devon. in all my years of study, i've learned that if your child is properly hydrated their urine or pee may be light yellow in hue and you may find them to be cheerful, yoe beobedient and doe like these. my tip, give them a creative roots coconut water drink. picks up some creative roots today. >> dicky: learn more about helping to keep your kids hydrated at drink creative roots.com. >> jimmy: that's all the time we

have. i'd like to thank sarah paulson, jeffrey ross, and apologize to matt damon. pharrell williams will be with us tomorrow. "nightline" is next, so go crazy. stay up all night. this is "nightline." tonight. inside the no-police zone now run by protesters in seattle. what the demonstrators want. >> east precinct is the prize here. the east precinct is everything. >> as tensionsen the tak new york's governor, 100 days in front of the cameras. a andrew cuomo on leading the hardest-hit state, clashing with president trump. >> if you had to give president trump a grade on how he's handled this pandemic, what would you give him? >> "nightline" starts right now, with byron pitts. good evening. thank you for joining us. it's been called chaz,