it. the nba seems ready to get back to work. yesterday, the league proposed 113 pages worth of safety rules and procedures for the rest of the season. first of all, all the games will be played at disney world, which right off the bat seems like the least safe place to be during a peter pan-demic. but they have a lot of precautions in place. the players will be housed together. they will quarantine ahead of time and be tested every day. players will be discouraged from licking their fingers and clearing their noses on the court. were they encouraged to do that before this? players will be required to shower in their hotel rooms instead of the locker room. that's -- i mean, i don't think it's even worth playing basketball if you can't cap it off by scrubbing up with the team loofa! and also, no one will be allowed to touch the ball.5i during the game, so that sounds doable! meanwhile, our basketball-head president is about to go back on the road, but first he is fending off another round of tell-all books.

trump is said to be planning to file a lawsuit against his niece, mary trump, over a forthcoming memoir that reportedly does not paint uncle donny in a positive light. this is the book. it's called "too much and never enough: how my family created the world's most dangerous man." which is a lot longer than the original title, which was "my uncle is a dick." trump claims his niece's book would violate the terms of a non-disclosure agreement he had her sign in 2001. imagine having an nda with your niece. that's really all you need to know about someone. the other book he would very much like to keep from coming out is from a member of his inner circle, former national security advisor, john bolton. we got a few mcnuggets today and among many unbelievable claims in the book, bolton writes that trump said journalists should be executed. that he didn't know britain was a nuclear power, that he asked if finland was part of russia, he begged the chinese to help him with the election, and has a

penis that looks like a mushroom. though i may have picked that thing up from the stormy daniels book. can you imagine the president asking if finland is part of russia? he's the president of the united states! that's like your mechanic asking if the muffler is part of the glove compartment. meanwhile, remember when trump was pushing hydroxychloroquine as a coronavirus miracle drug? well, the fda this week withdrew their support for it, and now the government is stuck with 66 million useless doses. so i guess we know what the trumps will be giving trick or treaters on halloween. for the next 30 years. cases of the virus are on the rise in more than 20 states, but most everything is opening anyway. restaurants are allowed to open here in l.a., but because of the safety measures, many of them will be half empty. so some restaurants have been using mannequins to fill the empty seats. which is very weird and raises

another question. where in the world do you buy a mannequin? >> attention restaurant owners! looking mannequins to place at your social distance buffer tables but don't want to pay an arm and a leg? come and get'em at big al's gently exploded mannequins. we have lots of plastic people. there's headless harry. lefty, the bing-bing twins. the sparkle sisters. one-eyed willie, and jared kushner. your customers will never know the difference. so don't be a dummy, get over to big al's house of gently exploded mannequins, right behind the dairy queen. curbside pickup available. >> jimmy: big al is the best. this is wonderful. in ventura, california, which is about 90 minutes up the 101, the city council voted to require that masks be worn inside and outside government offices, and the result of that vote was this.

>> i protest face coverings! i am a healthy american! i used to be free. i am not a terrorist. i am not antifa. i am not a sex slave that wears masks. i am not into sadomasochism and bondage. >> jimmy: oh, that's too bad. you almost checked all the boxes off my list. so then what are you? >> i am a proud trump republican! trump republican! yearning to be free again! >> jimmy: she's yearning. she's yearning to be free to go to margaritaville! >> shame on all of you! let liberty ring! ♪ god bless america ♪ land that i love >> jimmy: wait, don't stop there. go for it! finish the song!

♪ from the oceans to the prairies ♪ ♪ to the mountains white with foam ♪ >> jimmy: mountains -- white with foam? the foam seems to be coming out of your mouth. meanwhile, the president is holding a rally this weekend in tulsa, and folks like her are already lining up. >> i'm here with mike boatman, and he is from evansville, indiana, and right now you're the fourth person in line, right? >> yes, i'm the fourth. >> when did you get here? >> i got here 28 hours ago. >> awesome. why did you want to come out here to tulsa this weekend? >> i wanted to hear president trump speak. what he does for our country, for every one of us is nothing for me to be out here six days early. >> jimmy: thank you for your sacrifice. the bait shop's loss is america's gain. this country is an absolute mess, but change is happening. a number of major companies have begun to re-think the messages sent by some of their products. pepsico announced today they're

changing the name and logo for "aunt jemima," because they "recognize that aunt jemima's origins are based on a racial stereotype." the new name will be "mrs. jemima's syrup that she has willingly volunteered to share." uncle ben's is also planning to make a change to their rice. going forward, the original uncle ben will be replaced by uncle ben from "spider-man." with great power comes great rice-ponsibility. i'm sorry. i'm sure the gang at fox news will have no problem with these changes whatsoever. i have a good idea for a new aunt jemima. if they're looking for an aunt, my aunt chippy would be great. it could be the first pancake syrup that smokes cigarettes. my aunt chippy does not sugar-coat anything, even pancakes. she barely even brushes her teeth! but she gives good advice, which is something many of our viewers need. so tonight, she is advising again with a new edition of dear aunt chippy. ♪

>> hi, this is aunt chippy from quarantine, answering your questions. dear aunt chippy, i had to cancel my wedding this summer, ah. now my fiance is pressuring me to do it. i read that you weren't a virgin when you got married. that's [ bleep ]. do you have any tips for me to satisfy my future husband? divorce him now. don't even wait for the wedding. divorce his [ bleep ]. you don't need him. can you live fine without him. >> jimmy: she's nothing if not a romantic. we have a good show for you tonight. tonight, i'm going to get in the car to visit jeffrey ross, and we will be right back with sarah paulson. ♪ when you treat every little piece of a thing. like it's not just one thing.

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>> jimmy: welcomback >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. in just a bit, i will get in my car and drive to the home of comedian jeff ross for a new edition of carantine. and tomorrow night, pharrell williams will join us. my guest tonight is an emmy and golden globe winner you know from "american horror story," "american crime story," and the miniseries "mrs. america." she's very patriotic. you can see her on fx and hulu now. please welcome sarah paulson. how are you? >> i'm okay jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm okay, were you supposed to be filming a new film. >> yeah. we were about two weeks shy when the whole world starting to fold up on itself. >> jimmy: this one is about the clinton impeachment. right?

>> yeah. >> jimmy: you would be playing linda tripp, who i think you're going to put a photograph on the screen who you do not resemble in any way. marsha clark, you really transformed into her, but this will require more than just a perm. >> this is going to require a lot of things. i'll be wearing a lot of prosthetics and body transformational accoutrement. if that's a word i can use. >> jimmy: it probably is. did you meet with linda tripp before she passed away a couple months ago? >> she passed away pretty early into the quarantine situation. it was apparently not from covid-19. she died, and i never met her. just like i never met marsha until we were basically finished shooting it. it can get complicated. when you're worried about, you know. >> jimmy: interesting. >> i didn't meet linda, i don't know if she would have been open to doing anything like that. but i got as many text messages as if i'd died, like she was my best friend, i'm so sorry to

hear about linda, i'm really sorry to hear about it, too. i didn't know her. it was weird, because i had been spending so much time reading all these books and working with a dialect coach. so i was immersed in this, it was a very wild thing and really did make me sad. >> jimmy: that's when you know you're good actor, when you get condolences for someone you haven't even played yet. >> i was like, wow. >> jimmy: this character in "mrs. america" is not a real person, right? is it an amalgamation? >> i guess people call her the composite person. which i find really irk some. you have gloria steinem. and sarah paulson is the composite character. it's not very exciting. like the hollow, my character, what was exciting about it was i played the one character who starts in a particular place, not just geographically, but

internally, and ends up not necessarily going from the conservative side to the more liberal way of thinking but she has her eyes opened. she started out closed minded and ends up at the conference in houston and does some drugs, and there's a kind of, a whole lot of shakin' going on, if you know what i'm sayin'. >> jimmy: not what you would typically associate with the equal rights amendment. >> no, but she went down the rabbit hole. >> jimmy: have you done everything you set out to do? did you make a list when the quarantine began and say yeah, i'm going to knock this off and that off? >> i did try to think about that, but honestly, it's a very unnerving thing for me to not be working. i realize i've been very lucky to be working a lot these last few years, so i don't know what to do with myself. i've had a new love affair with my cell phone and all my devices. i didn't know you got notifications as to how much screen time you're logging.

>> jimmy: oh, yes. >> the maximum i met during this time was 11 hours and 42 minutes of screen time. >> jimmy: in one day? >> in one day. >> jimmy: what was most of it on, instagram? >> some of it was that. i'm very into the app marco polo, where you can deposit a nice little note and not have to talk. the face time zooming thing is becoming a little like, and what are you going to say, i'm so busy? you can't get out of it. >> jimmy: there are no excuses that work. >> basically, it was a lot of listening to the coronavirus daily briefing and watching some of the stuff on my phone, since that's been disbanded yesterday my time was three hours and 16 minutes. >> jimmy: dr. fauci did a whole season of "dancing with the stars," and nobody even noticed. every night i'm making a donation to charity. you chose the loveland foundation, tell us about that. i've not heard about that one. >> it was founded, it was

started by rachel cargold, a wonderful teacher and author and all in all incredible person, but she started this foundation that provides financial assistance to black women and girls seeking therapy, nationally. and she's raised a lot, you know, they match a black woman with a black child or a black young woman to access care, mental health wise, and they pay for it. >> jimmy: excellent. >> and they raise a lot of money, and it is a wonderful organization. >> jimmy: it is loveland foundation.org. if you would like to join us in supporting them. thank you, i hope you get out of the house soon. sarah paulson, everybody. we'll be back with a visit to jeff ross. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy &cñ kimmel live" are brought to you by planters, a fan of dads everywhere. give me your hand!

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>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. you know, video chat is fine, but i've been missing real interaction with my friends. so i came up with a safe way to socialize, which is, i drive to someone's house and yell at them from my car. and with that said, it's time to visit the roastmaster general, jeffrey ross. >> jimmy: wow. hare krishna. >> how's this move? >> jimmy: very patriotic. i like it. >> great to see you, bud. >> jimmy: it's great to see you, how you doin'?

>> can i take my mask down? is it all right? >> jimmy: it may frighten, but yes, yes. is that your dog? >> yeah. it's my new dog. come here, rona, meet everybody. >> jimmy: when you found her on the street, she came to you? >> my girlfriend found her in hawthorn. she was tied to a pole with some food left. and we went, i went and got her, and now we named, we don't know her name, so we named her rona, like corona. >> jimmy: oh, nice. >> you but now thaoto know her, i call her nana, because she's old and limps and has arthritis and smells like king kong's [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it smells like you're a little late in here. you've been doing yoga online.

>> i've been doing yoga with people on instagram, because you just can't, you ha t nded.op gti czy during this got pe pe >> it does. everything's changing. even religion. we used to say if someone sneezed, jimmy, we'd say "god bless you." now you say [ bleep ] get the hell away from me. >> jimmy: i like the yoga stand up. it's nice. you could make double as much money. >> not as staying home. >> jimmy: what about the president? do you think he's doing a good job with this whole deal? >> i am fighting the war against shelter safely at home. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he wants you right out there. he wants you to get back out there, jeff, no more yoga. he wants you on the road.

>> i get to stay home, chill, smoke a little, do some yoga. >> jimmy: are you careful when you go out though? >> i'm very careful. you have to be. first of all, i very rarely go out. i'm a germaphobe. the dog's a germaphobe. she won't give me her paw. she's so worried. i don't go out at all. i work from home. i sit in front of the computer all day, talking to people, dressed like porky pig. a shirt and no pants. >> jimmy: well, i like your garage. >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's a lot of pictures together of our old show. >> jimmy: don rickles? what did he write on that photograph, that head shot? >> this is not actually signed by don rickles. [ laughter ]

>> a fan gave me this. [ laughter ] >> we both look better with hair. >> jimmy: that's -- >> people give me weird stuff about the show, jimmy. >> jimmy: and you keep it. >> he keeps it all. >> jimmy: thanks, jeff, i miss you. >> i miss you too. it's great to see you. >> jimmy: great to see you, too, jeffrey ross. listen to his podcast and do yoga along with jeff. >> thank you. >> jimmy: wow. >> great to see you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'll drive you to the hospital. i'll come back around. >> namaste. >> jimmy: namaste. thank you, jeff, you're beautiful. you can join jeff and dave attell for their show "bumping mics" online, and they're doing a special virtual father's day ball-bust on saturday. you can get tickets at the address on your screen. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by creative roots.

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>> jimmy: hello, i'm james kimmel with a message for parents. due to the quarantine you're probably doing more for your children than ever before. but there's one thing you may be overlooking, making sure they're properly hydrated. as a doctor coat owner, i know the best way to tell if they are properly hydrated is to assess the color of their urine or pee. sometimes, if your child lacks hydration their urine may be orange in hue. they may be unfocussed. like riley. they may be tired like sam or angry like devon. in all my years of study, i've learned that if your child is properly hydrated their urine or pee may be light yellow in hue and you may find them to be cheerful, obedient and docile like these. well-watered kids. aren't they studious? my favorite way of keeping kids

hydrated? give them creative roots coconut water drink. pick up some creative roots today. >> dicky: learn more about helping to keep your kids hydrated at drink creative roots.com. ve.jimmy: that's all the time we i'd like to thank sarah paulson, jeffrey ross, and apologize to matt damon. pharrell williams will be with us tomorrow. "nightline" is next, so go craz ♪ tracking heat and high fire danger. i'll have the forecast coming up. in san mateo county, a mad dash to reopen. gyms, salons and more make the list of lifted restrictions. hundreds showed up in napa to back police officers in a blue lives matter rally. right after reopening, walnut creek businesses boarded up again, concerned a protest will lead to more looting. abc 7 news starts right now. now from abc 7, live breaking news. and that breaking news is hundreds of demonstrators marching through the streets of

walnut creek. >> they ended up at the mayor's house. live in walnut creek. kate? >> reporter: well, we're outside the walnut creek police department, and right now there are actually officers outside staged in tactical gear i i gt town hoff o-- out of hand. but in the past hour the protestors have actually been up the hill in a neighborhood in front of the walnut creek mayor's house. let's take a look. all right. and you can see, actually, the protestors abo