mchale. >> that was not a crew member, and i'm not lying. unfortunately, this is what a pool party looks like now. instead of jimmy kimmel, you have a guy who used to host a basic cable clip show. yes, the despair of covid continues. but the good news is, i'm currently relieving myself on national television, and there isn't a damn thing the fcc can do about it. i'm kidding. i have a terrible urinary tract nothing comes out. you know, guest hosting a talk show in a global pandemic isn't a job many people would say yes to, but it could be worse. i could be hosting the people's choice awards again. >> no! >> okay. nice crew you got there, jimmy. they're yelling through masks, by the way. a lot of soft droplets are flying. it was a dark time. i apologize. i'm here because jimmy is gone for the summer. he bought part of wyoming, and it's way more responsibility than he thought it would be.

he's currently on horseback in a dumb hat like an extra on that show "yellowstone." jimmy, stop trying to impress kevin costner. it's embarrassing. but fear not, jimmy will be back in a couple of months, probably sporting his look from the early 2000s. oh, my lord. did you have an apartment above a hometown buffet? this whole situation is very weird but i'm not the only person in l.a. performing for absolutely no one. last night the dodgers played the diamondbacks in a completely empty stadium. but for some reason they still had creepy, disembodied cheering. >> 2-2. bellinger turns on it. down the line to right. towards the pole. to the wall, a grand slam! the lights turn on, another team gram. in, and the mvp launches a >> terrifying.n 62

they all died from eating tainted dodger dogs. i'd like to now go live to my court-ordered sidekick, live from his pool in chatsworth, where they used to shoot a bunch of porn, it's guillermo. >> hey, everybody! >> i haven't seen your nipples in a long time. are you in the deep end? kidding, i know you're on the first step. since there's no audience here, i'm going to need you to give me feedback. how do you think my jokes are going so far? >> it's not great, not bad. just try your best. and keep it cute. [ laughter ] >> so guillermo gets a laugh track and i don't? i see who you're loyal to. at least he thinks i'm cute. i'd like to take a moment to wish a happy 24th wedding anniversary to my wife sarah.

for real. i always had the feeling i'd spend our 24th wedding anniversary in a questionable pool in west hollywood being filmed by two adult men in plastic helmets. sarah and i have learned a lot. and it's important to keep up intimacy after 24 years of marriage. if anything, just to gross out our kids. "oh, we don't know why the door's locked. come back later." quarantine has been a time of self-discovery for us all. like this man, who decided to try his hand at making limoncello at home. >> i'm about to sample for the first time my homemade limoncello. now i haven't tried this yet. i'm a little nervous. i haven't made it before. but i figured it was as good a time as ever to try it. so, chin, chin. [ bleep ]. >> so how was it?

shocker that a british person made something that tastes terrible. i blame his dentist. the coronavirus has impacted many areas of our lives, and now families are being forced to cancel their family reunion plans. so, see? there's a silver lining to everything. but despite warnings that people should not be gathering in large groups, lots of families are doing it anyway. there are even companies that are selling custom family reunion face masks. you see that? that's real. it's the perfect way to say hi to grandma, and also cause her death. the funeral. which i think is also the slogan of olive garden. jimmy would know. last night, kanye west held his first campaign rally in south carolina, because, you know, [ bleep ] it. kanye felt less like the president and more like a frazzled substitute teacher who couldn't control his class. here's him yelling at them for talking. >> if you guys want to whisper, go outside and talk.

we need absolute silence, we need absolute order. somebody is talking right now. if you see someone next to you that tries to whisper, hold your hand and say this person is distracting me from what someone is saying right now, and we'll have them escorted out. >> this person is distracting me. they want to know what is going on with your haircut, kanye. i would love to see footage of kanye telling kim he wanted to run for president and kim going, "okay, honey. that's fine. now put your pants on and come back inside the house." kanye also used the rally to talk about the issue that matters most to him, how smart he is. >> i understand everyone is excited. it's a new world. you have someone who is not afraid of anyone and only afraid of god and will honor god. someone not afraid of anyone, and in honor of god, and is a

132 iq genius, who went to the hospital because his brain was too big for his skull. absolutely no clapping. >> welcome to the hospital, mr. west. would you like to try the size 13 skull? it's a wide. to end this incredible monologue, i bring you this from the fox affiliate in baltimore. it's that tender moment when a news anchor utters the thing that his co-workers will remind him about every day until he retires. ♪ >> the first question, when you talk about that and compare it with lyme disease, how long does a dick, a tick, have to be biting you in order to transmit that? >> guillermo, remember when you got bitten by that dick? >> oh, yeah, it was a long time ago. >> it was. you had quite a reaction. the show's back to being highbrow, everyone.

we have a good show for you tonight. we've got music from billy strings and we'll be right back with the greatest human being currently walking the face of the earth -- seattle seahawks quarterback russell wilson. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by command. ♪ [baby giggles] ♪ (vo) command strips remove cleanly so you can make your space your own. command. do. no harm. the dog with antioxidant vitamin c! the winner is...

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♪ . welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm joel mchale. in a little bit, his album is called "home." making his network tv debut, billy strings will perform from nashville. and tune in for the rest of the week with guest hosts nikki glaser, george lopez, and magical forest sprite sean hayes.

my guest tonight is the greatest thing to happen to the pacific northwest since fir trees. he's a super bowl champion, seven-time pro bowler, and my favorite russell ever. joining us now the quarterback of the seattle seahawks, number 3, russell wilson. >> joel, good to see you. i see we're doing something very similar. you're in the suit and tie, i'm out here getting the rays, while you're sipping on, i guess that's coffee. whatever you want to call it. >> this is pool water, russell. it's very nice. >> sure it is. >> it's too bad you're not staying in shape during covid. i'm sorry that you let yourself go. >> hey, listen, i see you're covering yourself up, is what i see. >> i thought you were guillermo for a second. i joke. russell, first of all, thank you for bringing a super bowl to seattle. it was greater than the birth of my children.

and my children are watching. so thank you, thank you, thank you and i have to ask you, now that patrick mahomes is going to make half a billion dollars, he's the highest paid player in the nfl. are you pissed off? >> am i pissed off? no, i'm celebrating he's making this much money. it's a good thing. sounds like the money is going up, the stock is rising, you know? >> with you making so little money now, and you're about to be a father of three, can you afford them? >> the more kids you have, the less you have to spend. so i think that it's, this is why i'm trying to get as much relaxing time before the baby comes, whenever that happens. i'm trying to get as much relaxing time, i'm going to have to be doing baby duties while trying to play football. it's an interesting balance. >> you look really stressed out. how is ciara feeling?

>> she's doing well. she's excited, and has a lot of amazing things going on. it's crazy how hard she works. while being pregnant. we're not too far away, every day she's working, working, working, getting things ready. it's pretty amazing. she's got some new things coming up. we're excited about that. >> does she ever yell, bring me four pickles and a milk shake? >> she doesn't yell at me, no. but when she doesn't talk to me, that's not a good thing. i'm not sure which one your wife does. i'm sure she probably yells at you. because you talk too much. >> my wife is yelling at me right now, because it's our anniversary and i'm in jimmy's abandoned house. will you be able to go to the hospital when she's giving birth. >> we don't know. that's kind of the crazy part of it. i hope so. covid is so crazy. >> do you think she wants you in a hospital room? >> i think she needs me.

last time, she grabbed my hand, almost broke it. she was squeezing my right hand, i said, baby, use the left. hopefully, she'll know this this time. >> is that when the general manager burst into the room and yelled at her to let you go? >> no, it was you dressed as the general manager. >> i've met pete carroll a couple of times. an important question, what is going on with his hands? what happened? >> have you seen his fingers before? he's got dinosaur fingers. i don't know what's going on over there. they're all crossed up. >> he looks like a gargoyle in a church. >> that's a great example. >> is the medical term super [ bleep ] up? [ laughter ] russell, i know training camp starts in a week, right?

>> something like that. >> are you going to go? i'll go if you go. >> if you're there, i'll be there. you know. it's been kind of crazy with the nfl season coming up, and the nba, what those guys have gone through and everything else. it's been an interesting time for sure. i hope that, you know, i hope we can figure it out. >> you think a helmet with a mask will work? >> that will be crazy if we have to do that. i've been practicing with it every day so i can get used to it if we have to. we're already out there. so maybe it's a little bit late for that. >> yeah. >> so we can't take this time for granted. health and safety, it's such an important time. it's really important that we do it the right way at the highest level. i think that's what the concern is. especially for families. and like i said the other day, she's pregnant, we're going to have a new baby in the world at some point. i know so many others have family and loved ones and

everything else. at the end of the day, we want to play and us seahawks want to go to the super bowl and win it all. that's our focus. but we want to do it in a safe way. >> you should try it with no helmets. that said, what do you think of no fans in the stadium? do you think that will help with away games? >> well, that will be crazy. just to see it. i know some teams are doing no fans at all. we're doing a smaller amount, i believe. and it's just going to be kind of a crazy time. you know what will be interesting? being under center, calling plays where they can hear everything, and there's no real effect. so there will have to be some interesting learning there and it becomes just like practice? >> yeah. >> that is going to be very interesting. and i think at the end of the day, we want to play, we want to score touchdowns and make plays. >> and you have a brand-new pair of shoes.

i'm wearing your shoes right now. >> you're wearing them, huh? you're rocking them? >> can you tell me about these? they're cleats? >> they just dropped, man. it's cool. when you're a young kid, you always have dreams of having your own cleats and everything else. so the new cleat just dropped today, actually. i was pretty excited and fired up. we have some cool gear on nike.com. it's a blessing to be a part of it and enjoy the journey. i remember looking up to guys like michael jordan and so many others. i think as a young athlete you always hope kids can wear your gear. it's cool. >> we're out of time. russell's new alpha menace cleats from nike are available now. we'll be right back with music from billy strings. thanks, russell. >> joel, see you. go hawks, baby. >> go hawks. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel

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shape your future. start here at 2020census.gov. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes benz, the best or nothing. welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm jimmy kimmel. our musical guest tonight is raising awareness for the national independent venue association. niva is asking congress for help, because without it, 90% of the music venues we love will close forever.the e wien support. now, from one of those iconic venues, nashville's station inn,

the incredible billy strings. ♪ ♪ ♪ cold cold ashes on the ground nothing lost and nothing found ♪ ♪ friends and loved ones falling down can't you hear that mournful sound ♪ ♪ nothing left but memories of things i still can't stand to see ♪ ♪ there's an empty spot in me where my hometown used to be ♪ ♪ this old boat is taking water it won't be long till it goes down ♪ ♪ we've had enough to push us over time to turn the wheel

around ♪ ♪ neighborhoods left to decay people died or walked away ♪ ♪ nowhere left for them to stay and we just look the other way ♪ ♪ this old boat is taking water it won't be long till it goes down ♪ ♪ we've had enough to push us over time to turn the wheel around ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ waves keep pounding through the night lost without a ray of light ♪ ♪ going down without a fight is there still time to make it right ♪ ♪ this old boat is taking water it won't be long till it goes down ♪ ♪ we've had enough to push us over time to turn the wheel around ♪ ♪ this old boat is taking water ♪ ♪ won't be long until it goes down had enough to push us over time to turn the wheel around ♪

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♪ >> well, that's all the time we have. i'd like to thank russell wilson, billy strings, and "fly tyer" of the month, jimmy kimmel. nikki glaser will host tor with guests paris hilton and phoebe robinson. "nightline" is next. it's hilarious. i'm going to go stick my body in a bag of rice now. thanks, everybody. thanks for having me. good night.

tonight at 11:00 we'll have the details of a drug ucf doctors are adding to their trial for covid-19 patients helping them fight this virus. hundreds of thousands of cases stuck in a county backlog. not just a technical issue experts say it presents a greater health issue.

welcome to the new normal. live music at the alameda county fair grounds. you'll feel the heat this weekend. i'll have the temperatures coming up. abc 7 news at 11:00 starts right now. california now the third state where covid-19 deaths have exceeded 10,000. more than 8,400 new cases were reported in the last 24 hours but the states numbers have been inaccurate for a week. that's because of a testing backlog that's in the hundreds of thousands. >> you deserve better. the governor demands better of us, and we are committed to doing better. >> reporter: abc 7 reporter amanda del castillo has more on this technical glitch. >> california health leaders are blaming the state's massive backlog of test results on two issues. a july 25th server outage, and the state's failure to renew a certificate at one of its largest commercial labs on time. >> we expected