i'm your guest host, david spade. or as people on the street call me from behind, edie falco. sometimes from the front too. i'm filling in for jimmy, who is taking the summer off to talk to a customer service representative at comcast. this guy's been on hold since march. two for two. by the way, before we go any further, just so you know, matt damon is not waiting around to be on jimmy's show every night, and he never was. he's not getting bumped because they ran out of time. he and jimmy are good friends, and there's no feud whatsoever. it's all completely made up. great. what else can i burn to the ground? guillermo's not even mexican, he's polish. real name is igor kowalski. it's a web of lies, guillermo! how are you doing man? >> guillermo: pretty good. >> david: how do i even know if that's true? anyway, we will come back to you, maybe after the show is over. at the start of the pandemic, i was hosting my own show on comedy central.

now i'm guest hosting jimmy's vlog in an empty pottery barn where they shoot "young and the restless." things are clicking. by the way, if you had told me ten years ago that today i'd be hosting a late night talk show in a house for no one, i would've said, "yeah, but i'll still have cool hair, right?" that's all i'm concerned about. you know, there are a lot of bad haircuts out there right now. all we've had to do for the past five months is take edibles and cut our own hair. and i've really had some doozies over the years. i've basically looked like i've been cutting my hair during a pandemic since i was twelve. i used to go to a place called "we make it look self-cut." here's a good one. it's a hairdo that screams "do you even know who my father is?" you're going to be hearing from our lawyer. these are jokes off the picture. everyone gets that, right? here i am finding out i just got accepted into a restricted golf club.

if you want that haircut, just tell your barber you want to look like a guy who accidentally killed an escort in a lifetime tv movie. or was it an accident? here's a classic. wait. actually, this one's just a photo of meg ryan. is that "sleepless in seattle?" that shouldn't be in there. this one's good. i look like the twin brother keith urban doesn't like or talk about. shows up at gigs with a plus one. "i'm with keith, it's all good, man." you just look at that picture and think there's a guy who would ask to go dutch on an abortion. whoa, read the cards first. what's next. i'm not proud of this one, but at some point in our lives, we all go through a "soft kid rock phase." and finally, a classic. "divorced dad who just bought a speedboat." look at me, hey. that's not me drunk leaving a

bar in a paparazzi shot. you know, switching gears, it's hard to be a comedian right now. and i'll show you, here's a couple of jokes. there's a lot going on in the world. cardi b released "wap" merchandise including raincoats and umbrellas. she says she wants to protect people from all those h2-hoes out there. element joke! check the chart. brothels in berlin have re-opened but there's no sex allowed. it's the first time the fishnets are being used to actually catch fish. carson, a couple of people in the back. literally a couple. maybe one. scientists have found live coronavirus up to 16 feet away from a patient. they say corona lingers so long it's still making jokes about tiger king. i like that one. some amc theaters are offering movie tickets for as little as

15 cents. that way, moviegoers can save their money for caskets. because they are going to die. okay, let's get off those. some comedians are doing virtual shows online. like stand up. it's like watching stand-up comedy on zoom is tough. if you think listening to a comic describe his life is grim, wait until you see his studio apartment in van nuys with fake plants. we've got drive-in shows now. i'm doing one of those on friday at the ventura county fairgrounds. all triple-a members welcome. and while i'm excited to get out of the house, can you think of anything sadder than telling jokes to a crowd of nissan sentras? i'm looking forward to it though! hey, mazda rx-7, good to see you. plus, the pandemic has made crowd work almost impossible now too. "what did you used to do for a living, sir?" meanwhile, the rich and famous

are still throwing parties in the hamptons. of course. and the new thing is to pay for everyone to get a rapid covid test at the door. it's a tough decision for these people. they're saying to themselves, "on the one hand, i know these tests are needed for health care workers, nursing homes, and other critically important uses. but on the other hand, i'm rich and don't care about anything." these fast tests sound like a made up way for rich people to turn people away from their party. "oh no, billy joel's here. boop. ooooh, this thing's saying you're positive, can somebody drive the piano man home?" it's 107, step on it! i actually like billy joel. why am i doing the joke about billy joel. i like him. i've been to parties like this. believe me, the intention is good, but fast forward a few hours, people are using those test swabs to pack cocaine up their nose like they're loading a musket. i hear guys doing coke at restaurants all the time in l.a.

i say, "you okay in there?" they are like, allergies. i go, oh, yeah, usually when you sneeze, it goes out, not in, but okay. regardless, this pandemic is a big deal. it's all people are talking about. and honestly, it seems like somebody's getting a little jealous. roll it. the way things are right now, it's easy to forget what got us here. these days, it seems all you hear about is covid-19. but while this coronavirus might be new, we want to remind you that measles that has been making americans sick since 1965. you all went home, but we never left. we are still right here on mobile phones, monkey bars, on toothbrushes and toilet seats. lurking like we have always done. patiently waiting to kill you. we are measles. the original, highly

contagious disease. measles. from the people who brought you mumps, available in all 50 states, especially new york. see crazy mommy facebook groups for details. and we are back, dude, i had the measles when i was 12, i almost croaked. i was literally covered head to toe in measles. it was so gross, my step dad took a picture of it, gross, we have a good show for you tonight, although you won't know it because there's no applause or laughter. i pay them $50 each and they are barely mustering a chuckle. we've got music from elle king, and we'll be right back with dan levy. whoa, all right, see you soon. ♪

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♪ ♪ >> david: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm david spade. you might remember me as the little coat from fat guy in a little coat. coming up in a little bit, her ep is called "in isolation," music from elle king is on the way. and tomorrow night, i'll be back for more with lauren lapkus and the avett brothers. my first guest tonight joins us from toronto, canada, a place where even the covid is disarmingly polite. he is currently nominated for four of the fifteen emmy awards on his show "schitt's creek" has earned. you are wearing a wedding dress, to my wedding. >> this is not a wedding dress, it's a white floor length gown. it's very different. >> did it come with a veil? >> no it came with a head dress.

>> a what? >> with like a white toule head dress, so i decided to not wear it. >> you are walking me down the aisle in a wedding dress, everyone will think we are getting married to each other. >> david: you can also see him in the upcoming hbo film "coastal elites," it premieres september 12th. please welcome dan levy. whoa! dan. hey. >> dan, toronto, t-o, buddy. >> big t-o yeah, i know all the lingo, 4-1-6. >> that is exactly where i am. >> really? >> yeah. >> i did a few major motion pictures that way. >> i'm well aware. >> oh, did you know that? you were a little kid. >> i was in toronto, any time a movie comes, especially a big one with big famous people in it. the whole city is aware of who is here, i was aware of your whereabouts the entire time you were here.

i hope it's not scary or unsettling. >> no, it's awesome. i saw you at the mtv awards, it was sort of embarrassing for me because when i brought you out, i was giving you an award, which was nice. much deserved, i was back with aubry plaza, we were going to introduce the award to you. this kid, noah centriono is before us and he is like a megasuper star, and the place was going so bazooties, and when we left, and he was supposed to come on, they were booing us. it was like, he is still in the building, why are you ruining everything? >> first of all, i was there, and i did not hear a single person boo at you, but listen i'm that here to support. >> my lie of a story. >> it was the only time we have met. >> yeah, that was it, and you were, you were winning, which is great, and then of course, i

just hear about "schitt's creek" all the time. you are up for like 15 emmys? >> it's a disgusting amount. and i feel shame about ultimate. but we are working through it. >> it's nice when those shows get recognition. >> listen, canadians do not get this kind of recognition that often so i'm kind of soaking it in. >> you are up in toronto, so how do you do that? are you going to stay up there? >> yeah, we are hoping to do a little backyard barbecue or something in my parents house. and kind of invite whoever from the casting crew is in town to come and celebrate and then i get we will all get dressed up for each other? do you zoom it? do they follow you with a drone? you know how it works this year, do you know? >> i have no idea how it's all going to come together.

but, you know, we will see. at least we are going to have a good time. >> you may get a text that you won. you know who is in charge of this, jimmy kimmel, and this show is running like a disaster while i'm here. i would not expect miracles out there. >> it is a big job. i can't imagine figuring ought this out, so, hopefully we will all have had a couple of drinks and that will be that by the time the cameras get to us. >> and it's you and your dad, who is great. and then, it's catherine o'hara? >> she is currently still in canada, so we are going to try and trap her here until the emmys. so at least she can come and celebrate. and then, you know, the rest of the cast and crew that are in town and, you don't -- you know, it's surreal, the whole experience is surreal.

>> it sounds like a rager, you can't lose, no matter what. you have known catherine for a while. because sctv, i remember because i'm old, older, and another unbelievable show. and so, catherine was around when you were just a little pip-squeak, right? >> well, yeah, i feel like the sctv family has always been around. they have always kind of been in my home and photographed, they are all still very close. we grew up with everybody's kids. and you know, catherine, i think was living in los angeles for most of the time that i was growing up in canada, so, in a way, i didn't actually get to be very close with her until this show, and it's like, this full 180 and my dad still is sort of describing how trippy it was to watch me and my sister acting in scenes with catherine and the flash backs to him being our age, shooting with catherine. >> it was a whole, it's still kind of a mind puzzle that my dad is trying to figure out. >> that is cool to have her around when you are a kid and eventually if you hang around with her a lot. is canada cooler about the

quarantine than l.a., are they lax or tight about it? >> i don't want to divide any countries here, but i did come to canada, because it felt a little safer. i left los angeles where i believe there's 7 million cases of covid. >> feels like it, yes. >> something ridiculous. and yeah, people generally wear masks here, which is why i think the numbers are very, very, very low. >> good. >> so it's been nice. i went to a restaurant for the first time in six months. that was disorienting. >> love it. >> i kind of like walked in like mr. burns, like radioactive mr. burns out of the woods and sat down in a table, and you have people asking if you want water and you, first time you have seen a waiter in six months. everything is strange. cutlery is strange, eating fresh food that was prepared for you is strange. but good. i quite prefer it. >> well, i hope it gets that way down here, i would like to go

eat again at some point. >> it's a nice pastime. >> well, good luck with the emmys and good luck with coast elites coming on hbo, and thanks for talking to me, i'm sorry it was not jimmy, but it was still fun, right? we will be back to visit, take care, bud. >> good to see you. ♪ the "jimmy kimmel live" series is presented by: boost mobile's new upgraded network has a stronger signal and faster speeds. it's not just fast - it's super fast. has a stronger signal and faster speeds. we le it. but hoca it's more than super fast? curious - how do you spell eeeeeyouuuuuuuuu??? get boost mobile's "shrink it" plan, and watch your bill shrink to $35/month after just 6 on-time payments. plus get a free samsung galaxy a11 when you switch, all on our new, upgraded network.

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>> david: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live," i'm david spade. you know, i don't usually take fan photos with celebrities, but our next guest is the one i made an exception for. i was a fan of hers early, back when she had her baby teeth. oh, look. that's so cute. actually, it's rob snider's daughter, that was when she was four months old and i think rob said be her godfather. and so all i have done with those duties is hug her back stage at a sandler show. so, i didn't want to over do it, i may have under did it though. but, she is great. and one of her songs in the wrong, missy. which i love. her latest ep is called "in isolation." here with the song "the let go," elle king. ♪ ♪ cold as it was for a winter's

day the sun came out cause the sky was grey ♪ ♪ the wolves are back they've come to play i thought i heard your father say ♪ ♪ go down to the tunnel where the devil wants ya out to the street where the people hunt ya ♪ ♪ it hurt more than it was supposed to ♪ ♪ i was waiting for the let go i swore i wouldn't til you said so ♪ ♪ i put the pieces back together so thank you or whatever nothing lasts forever ♪ let goaingor the let go ♪for the ♪ out of the grey into the woods

i take my chances i know i should ♪ ♪ when the light comes listen closely follow my shadow to the old me ♪ ♪ mother of the moon tell me what to do it is scary it is new ♪ ♪ the tide is calling out for changes oh what an ocean of time that we wasted ♪ ♪ i was waiting for the let go i swore i wouldn't til you said so ♪ ♪ i put the pieces back together so thank you or whatever nothing lasts forever ♪ ♪ man i guess so waiting for the let go waiting for the let go ♪ ♪ i had to pay for all of your

bad behavior but expensive lessons are always the best to know ♪ ♪ i'm not waiting for the let go don't need any of your say so ♪ ♪ i put the pieces back together so thank you or whatever nothing lasts forever ♪ ♪ man i guess so waiting for the let go waiting for the let go ♪ ♪ i was waiting for the let go i swore i wouldn't til you said so ♪ ♪ i put the pieces back together so thank you or whatever nothing lasts forever ♪ ♪iting for the let go waiting for the let go huh haha ♪

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♪ ♪ >> david: that's all the time we have tonight. i'd like to thank dan levy, elle king, and my third favorite jimmy, jimmy kimmel. why am i thanking him? i'll be back here tomorrow with lauren lapkus and the avett brothers. "nightline" is next. goodnight. ♪ tonight, fires continue to burn in the hills northwest of healdsburg. >> refusing to go down without a fight. residents in the santa cruz mountains create brigades to help battle the raging fires. >> from ash and smoke to higher places, produce at the grocery store. >> smoke and haze hanging

around. i'll let you know if there is hope for improvement in the days ahead. abc7 news at 11:00 startsg a ppin in the state of california. >> three of the largest wildfires to ravage our state raging in the bay area still. the scu lightning complex in the east bay just overtook the lmu lightning complex as the second largest in state history. >> but tonight there is cautious optimism as crews try to take advantage of better weather conditions. at least eight people have died and more than 1.4 million acres have burned. and we've learned there are four burn patients being treated at u.c. davis medical center. >> and we want you to take a look at these pictures. santa cruz sheriff's deputies need your help catching a man suspected of stealing a firefighter's wallet while he was battling the flames. >> here's a look at the largest wildfires burning in the bay area right now. lightning sparked t