tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 20, 2020 11:35pm-12:38am PST
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>> good night. >> w >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, dr. phil mcgraw. cnn's john king. and music from maren morris. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's me. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on cma night. a special hello to those keeping the party going after the cmas tonight. we have something fun with chris stapleton later on. [ cheers and applause ] and he's going to join us tomorrow night. best wishes to our veterans on veterans day. thank you for your service. and sacrifice. [ cheers and applause ] i hope you felt appreciated today because you are, by us, at least. our president, donald trump -- this kind of tells you all you need to know about him. this is joe biden's first tweet of the day.
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today we honor the service of those who have worn the uniform of the armed forces of the united states who are proud veterans. i will be a commander in chief who respects your sacrifice, understands your service, and will never betray the values you fought so bravely to defend. and this was donald trump's first tweet today. we will win. actually, it was a retweet of himself. [ laughter ] it's hard to believe that in 75 short years we've gone from this to this. but we have. trump did emerge from his bunker today. he visited arlington cemetery to lay a wreath at the tomb of the unknown loser -- i mean, soldier. those were his words, not mine. that was his only scheduled event of the week so far. he's busy doing everything he can to maintain his tiny cheeto-like grip on the presidency. several top defense officials, our pentagon, they've been ousted in favor of loyal trumpsters. the directors of the fbi and cia are rumored to be on the chopping block.
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some are saying that trump is turning the administration into a banana republic, which i don't know, to me it feels more like a baby gap. [ laughter ] but obviously trump installing these loyalists or people he thinks are loyalists in key spots at the pentagon raises fears that he's plotting something. we may soon find out the answer to the question, can a coup be pulled off by people who spell it "coo"? [ laughter ] team trump continues to claim there was widespread voter fraud even though there's no evidence to support that. he's filing lawsuits left and right. this is a transcript from a courtroom exchange between trump's lawyers in pennsylvania and the judge. the judge asks the trump lawyer, are you claiming that there's any fraud in connection with these 592 ballots? trump's lawyer responds, "to my knowledge at present, no." then the judge asks, are you claiming that there's any undue or improper influence upon the electorate with respect to these 592 ballots?
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trump's lawyer says, "to my knowledge, not at present, no." so okay, then what the hell are you guys doing here? [ laughter ] even donald trump's lawyers have no evidence of voter fraud. [ laughter ] but they're throwing all sorts of nonsense out there to see if any of it floats. one of their most outlandish claims is dead people voted in droves in pennsylvania. the only dead person who voted in this election is rudy giuliani, okay? [ laughter ] and he's registered in transylvania not pennsylvania. election officials in pennsylvania have found no credible instances of fraud but don't tell that to our future ex-president. he's turning local officials, public officials in many cases, into his punching bags. his sycophants are demanding the resignation from the republican secretary of state in georgia. trump himself lashed out today at the republican commissioner of philadelphia. he wrote, a guy named al schmidt, a philadelphia commissioner and so-called republican, rino, is being used big-time by the fake news media to explain how honest things
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were with respect to the election in philadelphia. he refuses to look at a mountain of corruption and dishonesty. we win. rino stands for "republican in name only." that's what they call any republican who won't go along with trump's b.s. trump was a democrat like 12 years ago. [ laughter ] and this guy al has obviously had enough of this schmidt. >> i realize a lot of people are happy about this election and a lot of people are not happy about this election. one thing i can't comprehend is how hungry people are to consume lies. and to consume information that is not true. >> jimmy: well what are we supposed to eat? the halloween candy is gone. [ laughter ] we have 70 days to figure this out. i once had a rat in my attic wouldn't leave. i finally got him out by putting an oreo in the trap. seems like maybe that could work here too, right? [ laughter ] anyone phoned nabisco?
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you know what trump reminds me of? that lady who claims she found a finger in the chili at wendy's. her name was anna ayallah. in 2005 she was eating at a wendy's in san jose, claims she found a severed finger in the chili bowl, it was a big story. there was a multi-pronged investigation. along the way they found out anna, like our president, had a long history of suing companies for no good reason. and when the investigation was finished, it was clear that the finger in the chili, like these allegations of widespread voter fraud, had been planted. the finger belonged to her husband's co-worker. he lost it in an accident. she cooked it and made the story up. she wasted everyone's time, burned through a lot of taxpayer money. you know what happened to anna? she served four years in prison. or one term as president. [ laughter ] and on top of that, she was banned from wendy's for life. that's what they should do to punish trump, ban him from wendy's for life. [ cheers and applause ] you'll never drink a frosty again! here's another one that gives
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you an idea of what we're dealing with. yesterday trump supporter and former lehigh county commissioner in pennsylvania, a guy named dean browning, tweeted, i'm a black gay guy and i could personally say that obama did nothing for me, my life only changed a little bit. i want to stop there. if you look at his profile picture, yeah, seems like his life changed a lot. [ laughter ] he's transformed into a straight white man. so he posts this. it seemed fairly clear he forgot to sign out of his real account and into his fake account, the account he might use to comment on his own posts, his gay black guy account, which we all have. [ laughter ] but browning said, no, no, no, that wasn't it. he claimed he was quoting a direct message that was sent to him by one of his followers, dan purdy. dan purdy coincidentally responds to a lot of dean browning's tweets, coincidentally. then, stick with me, this is one
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of the dumbest twilight zones ever. dan purdy posted this video backing browning's story. >> hey, guys. my name is dan purdy. and i am indeed a gay black man. the message that you saw on dean's twitter was posted -- i don't actually know how it was posted but i did send it to him because i had a problem with how people of my race and sexual persuasion are treating donald trump. so what's the big deal? i sent that message to dean. dean accidentally posted it somehow. and that's the end of the story. >> jimmy: right. that would be the end of the story. except for that person's name is not dan purdy. in fact, there doesn't seem to be a dan purdy. that man has been identified as bill holty, who is believed to be the nephew of patti labelle, of all things. [ laughter ] this is like the time "la la land" pretended to be "moonlight." it's a mystery. [ applause ]
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nice work, dean browning. if trump pulls this out, maybe he'll let you run the cia. [ laughter ] this is a crazy time in history. and good luck trying to explain any of this to your kids. guillermo, does your son benji have any idea what's going on? >> guillermo: no, he doesn't have no idea. >> jimmy: it's hard to explain the events of the past week or the past four years to your kids so we came up with a way to do it. we took audio coverage and paired it with an episode of "paw patrol." this is what happens when ryder and his teal of pups meet the big bad wolf blitzer. >> i'm wolf blitzer in the cnn election center. we're minutes away from the first results. let's go to john king. >> what we're waiting for most is the city of philadelphia, joe biden getting 80% of the vote, and they still have votes to count. >> we can now project the winner of the presidential race. joseph r. biden jr. is elected president of the united states. denying president trump a second term.
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>> but while i may be the first woman in this office, i will not be the last. >> i will totally accept the results of this presidential election if i win. if you count the legal votes, we did win this election. >> lie after lie after lie. that was a hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a train wreck. >> this is an embarrassment to our country. >> jimmy: floating away in his own hot air, wouldn't that be a poetic ending? there's a major disturbance at the cma awards, a number of the nominees had to stay home because they tested positive for covid. lee brice, members of lady a, florida georgia line, rascal flatts are in quarantine. some of them had to cancel. usually when this many people get sick in tennessee it means they undercooked the squirrel. [ laughter ]
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but this covid-19 -- you know, chris stapleton was able to play the cmas tonight. he's going to be with us on our show tomorrow night. with the virus spreading, we couldn't wait to give you a preview of his new album. he has two new albums. "starting over" on friday. and a holiday album too. >> in 2020, holiday cheer is in short supply. until now. ♪ disinfect the halls with sanitizer fa la la la la la la ♪ ♪ till we get a cure from pfizer fa la la la la la la ♪ >> it's chris stapleton in quarantine. >> hi, i'm chris stapleton, and this is "a very covid christmas." >> all the holiday hits you love with a bleak 2020 twist. ♪ oh cover your mouth hole i don't want your droplets ♪ ♪ just put on a mask over this santa bomb ♪ >> you can't spell christmas
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without chris. >> hey, that's my name! >> country music superstar chris same stapleton as you've never heard before. ♪ oh clorox wipes my groceries disinfected ♪ ♪ my vegetables all taste like bleach ♪ >> let chris stapleton fill your hermetically sealed chamber with festive covid hits like -- ♪ oh cdc oh cdc your website is depressing ♪ >> plus "coughing around the christmas tree." "it's beginning to look a lot like pneumonia." "rudolph the red nosed reindeer lost his sense of taste and smell." "grandma got corona from a reindeer." "fauci the snowman." and the instant classic -- ♪ i can't smell i can't smell my scent has gone away ♪ >> and many, many more. >> no, that's actually it. >> well, it's still a lot. 'tis the "sneezing" for chris stapleton's "a very covid
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christmas." ♪ curbside pickup of applebee's wings ♪ >> krit stapleton's "a very covid christmas" available for six sanitized disks, three easy payments of $9.99. order now and receive chris stapleton's "hanukkah" absolutely free. ♪ eating alone in my jeep >> available at walgreens. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, chris. you know, watching the cmas, it reminds me of when i was a young boy. do you mind handing me my guitar? thank you very much. i've been playing the guitar, guillermo. >> guillermo: you have? >> jimmy: yeah, why is that funny? [ laughter ] you haven't known me my whole life. but when i was young, when i was a teenager, everyone, people would look at me and say, you should be a model. you should be a movie star. but what i really wanted to do was sing country western music. but then i heard a song, and it changed the course of my life.
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and i decided to take another path, a path that led here. maybe you know this song. and if you do, feel free to sing along. here we go. ♪ ♪ mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys ♪ ♪ don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks ♪ ♪ let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such ♪ ♪ mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys ♪ ♪ 'cause they'll never stay home and they're always alone ♪ ♪ even with someone they love ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: sorry, i've only been playing a few months. picked it up in quarantine. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: stop, stop, no. that's too much. thank you. oh, you did stop, okay. all right. thank you. we've got a good show for you tonight. from cnn, john king is with us. we have music from maren morris. and we'll be right back with dr. phil! ornaments create time to hang. gingerbread builds tradition.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight from cnn, the man with the magic wall, john king, will be with us. [ cheers and applause ] i have a plan for tonight. i'm going to force him to call arizona. [ laughter ] and then you saw her earlier tonight on the cma awards. this is her album "girl." music from maren morris from the ryman auditorium in nashville, tennessee, a great venue. if you'd like to help join maren and crown royal, saving america's favorite bars, clubs, and stages, americanalliance.com. you will learn much there. our guests tomorrow, ellen pompeo and chris stapleton will join us. this is some story. when a divine herd of lawsuit-happy cattle led our first guest to oprah in 1996, few could have imagined one day he would become america's shiny-headed beacon of mental health. he is back to work on season 19 of his syndicated show. please welcome dr. phil mcgraw!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for making a house call here tonight. >> hey, listen. glad to be here. glad to see somebody. >> jimmy: yeah. how are you doing? everything all right? >> i'm doing all right, how about yourself? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. last time i saw you was right at the beginning of all the craziness. it was literally the weekend that everything closed down. >> that's right. i think it was the last day of production of shooting "who wants to be a millionaire?" >> jimmy: right, you were a contestant, and i was hosting the show. you were the most thoughtful contestant we've had on all -- by thoughtful, i mean the slowest contestant we've had. [ laughter ] that episode took one month to shoot. >> i don't know why i come here. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: i don't know either. i tell you, it's become -- [ applause ] >> i'm driving over here and i'm thinking, why do i keep doing this [ bleep ]? [ laughter ] seriously. i feel like i'm in a "peanuts" cartoon getting ready to yank the football away. it happens every time. he calls, he says, come on over, we'll have a good time! yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know if you know this, but it's become like a saying on the show. we're like, oh my god, yeah, the guy really pulled a dr. phil, it took forever. [ laughter ] i was starting to think maybe you didn't want to go home, is everything okay? >> yeah, and what's more, i barely broke even, by the way. >> jimmy: that's right, you did, yeah. i think -- >> my son came to watch. >> jimmy: oh. >> and one of your pas in the parking lot, because there's no parking out there, he's helping park the car. he's like, come on back, come on back -- till he hits a pole. then he goes, stop. [ laughter ] the guy's got one job! got one job. and he takes it in to get it
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fixed. $76,000. >> jimmy: what? >> to fix the car. >> jimmy: did he kill the pa? [ laughter ] why did it cost $76,000? >> i thought about killing the pa. no, he hit one of those sensors in the bumper which is apparently wired into the -- you've got to pull the engine to fix the little sensor. >> jimmy: hold on a minute. what kind of car is this? a space shuttle? >> it was an expensive car, i'll admit that. but my son had the good sense to say, you know what? i'll just live with one less sensor, screw you, and left. >> jimmy: sounds like your son has a lot of "common sensor." >> which is why you don't have a claim against you for $76,000. >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. thank you for not suing us, dr. phil. [ laughter ] okay, so -- >> it was a lot of fun, by the way. >> jimmy: we did have a lot of fun. that was fun. you did not listen to your expert at all. you brought an expert and you barely consulted with her. >> gave me the wrong information, if you remember. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right, she did. >> remember? >> jimmy: one time. >> wrong information. i said, what the hell, what are you talking about? >> jimmy: well, you picked her. [ laughter ] >> yeah, well.
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>> jimmy: dr. phil, can i ask you a couple of things? first of all, i know this has been a tough week for you. you're a big kanye guy. there was talk you may join his administration. [ laughter ] and i want to put that aside. >> well, he was the first to concede. >> jimmy: he was. he's the only one to concede. do you think that if you picked up the phone, you could call president trump and he would take the phone call? >> yeah. >> jimmy: he would? >> i think so. >> jimmy: will you call president trump? [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: because we -- this is where -- >> no, this is hard enough. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is your -- if anyone could do this, it's you. this is your time to shine. [ cheers and applause ] i think he would listen to you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what would you say to him if you got him on the phone? congratulations? [ laughter ] >> whatever i would say would be reported way differently than whatever i said. >> jimmy: that is true. >> you can bet on that. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm sure, yeah.
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>> so -- no. i don't think i want to chat with him right now. [ laughter ] of course, he's firing everybody he sees. so -- >> jimmy: that's true. >> a lot of people are concerned that he's packing himself with lawyers or something, i don't know. >> jimmy: a lot of people are concerned. that's why i'm asking you to pick up the telephone and call. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: you will not call him, you will not help us through this. is there a medical term for what it seems like he's experiencing right now? >> well, i think he's a little upset. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that's it? you really know how to boil it down. >> i think so. >> jimmy: make it accessible for all of us. >> yeah, i think he's a little frustrated right now. >> jimmy: yeah. >> everybody sees the world -- we don't respond to what happens in the world, we respond to our perception of what happens in the world. >> jimmy: true. >> you know, really. and his perception of the world i think is different than others'. >> jimmy: it seems like he thinks the world has been unfair to him, even though by every
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measure, it has been more than fair to him. >> well -- there's certain things that get down to just simple math, right? and math is math. and you read some of the court proceedings today. i've been reading some of those things. i don't understand. i spent most of my professional career in litigation. i don't understand. i always thought when you went to court you had to have a cause of action. you had to have a complaint. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> you had to have standing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i didn't understand that complaint. >> jimmy: yeah. if joe biden asks you to be the surgeon general, would you consider that post? >> no. >> jimmy: you would not? >> no. >> jimmy: interesting. you're not willing to serve this country at all, are you? [ laughter ] >> i feel -- i feel like i'm doing my part right now. >> jimmy: you are, you are. let's take a break. dr. phil is with us, we'll be right back.
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>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by bailey's red velvet. what about off-road mode? nah. sport mode it is. let's see what this baby can do. or... we could check out that farmers market? no! you know what? i'll be in chill mode... (button click) if anyone needs me. propilot assist with navi-link. available on the all-new nissan rogue. black friday into deals for days. starting wed 11/25 shop online only and score deals like a $299 nintendo switch bundle with mario kart. let's end the year saving bigger. nintendo switch buchef claes insists on fresh neclean ingredients. the richest cheeses and a mouth-watering sauce.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with dr. phil. you're back doing your show. you don't have a studio audience. you do have guests in studio. >> well, i have robin in the audience. she's been there for every show, and she's there, she's coming every day. >> jimmy: right. >> the rest of them are virtual. and we're piping them in from all over the world. and you know, it's great to have them there, but it's different. they're behind me. i can't see them. i use the audience as a barometer to kind of know if i've made my point or not. >> jimmy: right. >> if they're getting it, you move on. if they're looking at you like dead trout, you know you need to work a little further, you know? so it's hard, you don't have that feedback. >> jimmy: right. and as far as like the people who are on your show, did you call them guests? what do you call them, exactly? subjects? patients? [ laughter ] what are they? >> winners. >> jimmy: winners, okay.
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[ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: so the winners -- by the way, you know i like to always look through the schedule on what you got coming up. >> oh, here we go. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tomorrow's show of winners is "help, my handicapped husband treats me like a slave." and on friday, "my dad believes he's married to a woman named maria he's never met." [ laughter ] >> that's true. and maria's taken him for a lot of money. >> jimmy: do you believe in maria? >> i don't believe maria's quite real. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and in fact, we found the woman behind the picture maria, she lives in stockholm, sweden. >> jimmy: wow, really? a swede is duping us? >> no, no, she just had her picture stolen. >> jimmy: i see. >> somebody's using it. i usually get through to these people pretty well. until i brought her out for him to see the real maria, who actually is a twin, so i brought two of them out and he was like, whoa! he never -- he still didn't believe it.
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until he saw the real women. >> jimmy: you hit him with the double maria? [ laughter ] >> the double maria. >> jimmy: only dr. phil can do that. >> honest to god he was like, i get that you're not her -- but would you like to go out? [ laughter ] trying to salvage something. >> jimmy: yeah, why not, what the hell at that point. wouldn't that be some love story? we met on "the dr. phil show." has anyone met on your show, fallen in love, gone on to be married? >> i'm sure. we've had 15,000, 20,000 guests. >> jimmy: yeah, i bet they haven't. [ laughter ] >> yeah, probably not. >> jimmy: dr. phil, you know what's weird is they were saying -- your 70th birthday was in september. and you were here right at your 60th birthday. that's how long this has been happening. >> this has been going on -- i'm a slow lerner. you're right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which birthday was better, 60 or 70? >> we had a lot of fun. then, you could get together. here, i think i got a pair of socks or something.
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70, much less relevant. >> jimmy: seal performed at your 60th birthday. >> i think that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: you had nothing for this birthday? you watch a video of seal on youtube? what did you do? >> no, i just kind of like -- >> jimmy: you sat there quietly? >> things are different now. people are really -- this togetherness for me has been great because i'm kind of a homebody as you know. i don't get out a lot. but i think for a lot of people, this has been a really tough time. >> jimmy: it has, yes, for a lot of people. especially outgoing people who really need to be around others. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you think that we are going to be able to -- like when we get the vaccine, hopefully, and things calm down, do you think we're going to be able to ever go back to the way things were? >> no. >> jimmy: no? in what ways won't we be able to adapt? >> i think people are going to be pretty intimidated. i can't imagine people rushing out to a movie theater and sitting in a closed room breathing in everyone else's air. in the near term. can you? would you go sit in the middle of a movie theater?
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>> jimmy: not in the near term, but i could see it happening in a year. >> yeah? maybe in a year. depends on how the vaccine is perceived and do people take it? and i think, you know, there's been a spike in depression. there's been a spike in divorce. there's been a lull in people going and getting medical examinations and medical treatments, which means there's going to be problems with disease. kids out of school is creating a problem. there's all kinds of issues that aren't going to really be quantifiable for another year, two, five, ten. i mean, this is a long-term impact of being in quarantine this long. >> jimmy: well, you've really painted an optimistic picture of the future, dr. phil. [ laughter ] >> i know. but we can come back from it. i have a lot of people asking me about it. i'm really frustrated with my partner, you know, and i kind of give them all one piece of advice. before you judge, remember, you too are probably a piece of [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ]
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get your bearings before you jump and realize who you are before you start judging someone else. >> jimmy: please call donald trump, please. dr. phil, everybody. dr. phil, weekdays in syndication. we'll be back with john king from cnn! oculus... whoa! someone please help! of course. you're tenacious, i'll give you that! it's ok, i'm ok... [heavy breathing] where are you? coming! let's do this! yeaahh! it's on!! woooo! whoa... [heavy breathing] rated rp to t. ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. music from maren morris on the way. not since the heyday of a little alien named e.t. has an index finger guided us through an emotional journey like our next guest. he is the maestro of the magic wall on cnn, host of "inside politics" six days a week too. please welcome the "chart-throb" himself, john king. [ cheers and applause ] hi, john. >> good to see you, jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: i love -- are you chained to that wall? why are you at the wall? [ laughter ] >> the bastards put super glue on the floor, i'm stuck. >> jimmy: it's kind of comforting to see you there. it's like seeing han solo in front of the "millennium falcon" or something. >> i'll take that. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> doing all right. it's been an exciting, somewhat exhausting, exhilarating week. now we're in the -- you think you have election week in america, it's normally election night. you think election week and you'll be done. as you noted last night, there's
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the crazy guy on the subway platform who's not very good at math and there we go. >> jimmy: you're very good at math. is it daunting to do math on live television? >> i went to six years of catholic school and i always thought the nuns were driving me crazy, now i owe them a great debt of gratitude. you don't realize it at the time that it actually might help you someday. >> jimmy: you feel the sting of that ruler, suddenly you know how to add everything. are there counties you will miss after this is done? are there areas of the country that you've grown fond of pointing at them for like eight days in a row now? >> we can both joke about this and be serious about it at the same time, because this is the gift. this is my ninth presidential election. my early ones i traveled all the time. i've been to most of these places and i love them. but i'm a map geek because of this. and like vigo county, indiana. i'll pop it up for you here. all the way back to 1956, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] back to 1956, they have picked the presidential winner -- the
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streak is over. donald trump carried vigo county this year. so they gain something else for fame now. the pence vice presidential library, maybe, will go there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just what trump needs to hear. if trump finds out he won in vigo county, we're never going to get him out of the white house. that magic well. is the magic wall really magic? >> yes. >> jimmy: it is, okay. [ laughter ] >> how can i say no? that would blow up everything. >> jimmy: i always feel like you're the only one there who knows how to work the wall. for me, i'm the only one at home that can get the television on, so i'm valuable. they keep me around forever. [ laughter ] you seem to have mastered that wall. do you practice? do you dream about it at night? >> sometimes. truth. [ laughter ] fact check, mostly true. look, we unveiled this technology in 2008, and we've updated every cycle since. i think it's become -- you know, to the flattery i received on social media and elsewhere, i'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong. but i think a lot of it is for people in a high-anxiety election, this is a comfortable
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pair of slippers. they're used to it, they trust it, i trust it. it's a great tool. i learn a ton. i've done this, ninth presidential election. every night on election night when there's live data flying in, red one second, it turns blue, i'm meeting america right here. >> jimmy: i didn't realize how much you loved that wall until just now. [ laughter ] you really love that wall. >> i have issues, yeah. >> jimmy: i remember when you debuted the magic wall. i remember making a lot of fun of the magic wall. and having a real good time with the wall. and now, yeah, you're right, the wall has become like somehow the window to the election. and the way you handled it, i have to say, i think you did a great job throughout the whole thing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you were -- [ cheers and applause ] i think you were aware of what we, the viewers, were going through. and you tortured us so gently. [ laughter ] just releasing these little bits of information. the way you were talking, remember? these results are here. you spoke very succinctly, you spoke very calmingly. it was like you were calming a
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horse in a lightning storm. [ laughter ] >> i like the analogy. look, this was the most difficult election ever. because of the different rules. because of the pandemic. right? some people voted by mail. lots of people did. some people stood in line and voted early. other people showed up on election day. what you were seeing, it's not a mirage. people talk about a red mirage or a blue mirage. it's not a mirage, it was real, but it wasn't contextual. some states, election ballots coming in first. other states, mail-in. at one point joe biden was ahead in ohio and texas and democrats were like, yee-haw! i had to tell them, calm down, we're waiting for votes. that was both fun for me, but i got in trouble for saying it was fun, just because this thing teaches me a lot and i want to tell people, calm down, early innings, you've got to wait till the end. >> jimmy: when you're on air, are you aware that everyone is posting about you nonstop, all the time? >> no. i don't get to see much of it on live television, obviously. occasionally i'll get a text from one of my siblings abusing me. [ laughter ] that's when i know there's something going on, on the internet.
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the first night i got home 3:30 wednesday morning, get two hours' sleep, come right back. but i was responding to emails and sending out emails with questions in the battleground states that hadn't been called. i could see some of it and i realized, number one, it was global. the interest in the election was global. the most gratifying thing was the interest of young people. i have a tiktok fan cam and i'm on jimmy kimmel in the same week. [ cheers and applause ] my 9-year-old is going to think i'm cool, for about 40 seconds. >> jimmy: i always knew you'd have a tiktok fan club. >> i do. >> jimmy: saturday cnn called the election for joe biden. are you part of that decision? who makes that decision? if not you? >> we have a great team of people on the decision desk. they're our green eyeshade people. they're fantastic. they spend months studying the data, preparing the statistics. i'm not part of it. i used to do that in my old job before i switched to television. on live television i do my thing, they're doing theirs. i trust them. we knew saturday morning we were
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getting close. i never know exactly how close. we knew we were getting close. then we had some results come in from philadelphia and the city. i'm doing my thing and they say, keep going. i'm like, okay, i keep going. they say, wolf, wolf, wolf! i turn to wolf, and there it was, the magic wolf blitzer. >> jimmy: wolf gets to make the call. you're not allowed to jump in and make the call before wolf? >> no, that would be like a mutiny. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly. >> they frown on that. >> jimmy: and are you and wolf privately, like during commercial breaks, going, when are they going to make this call already! we want to go home! >> if you're watching you could see some of that. i would say, i know you're frustrated, we're frustrated too. i was not lying, that was not fake news, that was coming right at you. let's do this. but for a serious point, we have a great team. when i first came to cnn, wolf was the senior white house correspondent, i was the new guy. being in this room with wolf was actually a hoot, it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: i don't know if you know this, wolf looks exactly like my father. [ laughter ] literally, for me it's like watching my father call the election.
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[ laughter ] anyway, i think you did a great job. i enjoyed watching you. thanks for drawing it out so politely and calmly. and i think you guys did a terrific job. now go get some sleep, and maybe spend a week or so pointing at a cocktail menu or something on the beach somewhere. [ cheers and applause ] >> i like that idea. >> jimmy: john king, everybody. "inside politics" weekdays at noon, sundays at 8:00 only on cnn. thanks, john. be right back with maren morris!
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>> dicky: music on "jimmy kimmel live" is presented by crown royal, who is helping support bars, clubs and stages in danger of being lost forever. visit mainstreetalliance.org to learn more. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to dr. phil, thanks to john king. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, her album is called "girl." from the mother church in nashville, with the song, "to hell & back," maren morris! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ smoke was coming off my jacket and ♪ ♪ you didn't seem to mind i left a long trail ♪ ♪ of ashes and you said "i like your style" ♪ ♪ now heartbreak ain't ♪ a competition but i took it in a landslide ♪ ♪ the skeletons i wanted to bury you liked out in the light ♪ ♪ you didn't save me you didn't think ♪ ♪ i needed saving you didn't change me ♪ ♪ you didn't think i needed changing ♪ ♪ my wings are frayed and what's left of ♪ ♪ my halo's black lucky for me ♪ your kind of heaven's been to hell and back ♪ ♪ to hell and back ♪ ♪ i wonder how you treasure what anyone would call a flaw ♪
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♪ you say a pearl without the pressure ♪ ♪ wouldn't be a pearl at all when my demons ♪ ♪ come a-callin' you don't even bat an eye ♪ ♪ i don't scare you and i guess that's why ♪ ♪ you didn't save me you didn't think ♪ ♪ i needed saving you didn't change me ♪ ♪ you didn't think i needed changing ♪ ♪ my wings are frayed and what's left of ♪ ♪ my halo's black lucky for me ♪ your kind of heaven's been to hell and back ♪ ♪ to hell and back ♪ ♪ smoke was coming off my jacket
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and i left a long trail of ashes ♪ ♪ you didn't save me you didn't think i needed saving ♪ ♪ you didn't change me you didn't think i needed changing ♪ ♪ my wings are frayed and what's left of my halo's black ♪ ♪ lucky for me your kind of heaven's ♪ ♪ been to hell and back lucky for me ♪ ♪ your kind of heaven's been to hell and back ♪ ♪ to hell and back to hell and back ♪ ♪ to hell and back
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> breonna, she couldn't say anything, she was scared to death as was i. but she did scream at some point in time when she got hit. that's the last sounds that she made. >> walk straight back out! >> inside the night breonna taylor was shot. >> what did i do? banging at the door, she said who is it, and they started shooting. >> and a movement caught fire. >> say her name! >> breonna taylor! >> now three grand jurors coming together for the first time, taking us inside the jury room and what they say really happened. >> your reaction when you heard that? >> i came out of my chair. i said, he just lied. >> one police officer telling his side of the
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