>> from all of us, we appreciate your time. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, carey mulligan and alanis morissette. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, there. hi, everybody. i'm the host, thanks for watching. that's very nice, thanks. we are coming to you from los angeles, home of the number one and two highest-paid celebrities in the world. every year "forbes" puts out a list of the 100 celebrities on made the most money. for 2020, the highest-earning celebrity, any guesses? oprah? tyler perry? adam sandler? guillermo? >> guillermo: the rock. >> jimmy: the rock is not correct. the highest-paid celebrity of the year for 2020 is kylie

jenner. that's one of the -- them, you know, the family. [ laughter ] kylie jenner took home $590 million this year. you know how she did it? she knit sweaters and sells them on etsy. [ laughter ] right behind kylie at a distant number two, with $170 million in earnings, is her half brother-in-law, kanye west. kanye did well while running for president. a lot of his money, more than half, came from his wife. every night, kim pays him $2 million to stop yelling and go to bed. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] kylie's number one. kanye's number two. kim was only number 48. she only made $49 million this year, she's poor, guys, really poor. [ laughter ] what do these people do, again? this year, the fourth most popular member of the kardashian family made more money than lebron james has made playing basketball in his whole life. i'm starting to think maybe my lips aren't plump enough.

[ laughter and applause ] president trump did not make the list, i'm sure he loves that. donald trump could use a good spanking from "forbes" magazine right now. this is day 42 of squattergate. the trump train has a lot of empty seat yesterday the electoral college made it official for joe biden. some republicans have finally started to congratulate joe for winning an election he won six weeks ago. [ laughter ] even that turtle-faced son of a mitch mcconnell took a break from blocking covid relief to congratulate biden today. mcconnell said, as of this morning our country officially has a president-elect. as if we hadn't had one for the 40 before that. but these people, they're so scared of donald trump. most of them still refuse to acknowledge what is very clear to everyone, that joe biden is the next president. one republican in the house, paul mitchell of michigan, announced he's so upset if this enabling of trump's bogus claims of election fraud, he's leaving the republican party. he's an independent now. so not only are republicans losing paul mitchell in that

spot, they're also losing the friends and family discount on all his hair care products. [ laughter ] this much been a punch in the mcrib. joe biden got a congratulatory message from trump's kgbff, sugar dad bydy put tin, acknowledging biden's victory. "for my part i'm ready for cooperation and contacts with you." which will be easy because russia just hacked our contacts. if putin's offering a congratulatory handshake to joe biden, what is trump eating pellets out of? [ laughter and applause ] was strange watching coverage yesterday, it was like watching an old world series on espn classic. first of all, as far as i know, the electoral college has never been televised before, certainly not on cnn. usually they're mind numbingly boring and the outcome is already known. but nothing is normal anymore. this time around some of the electors i guess knew they were going to be on tv, they had one last chance to give trump a

little stroke before he goes. they put on a show. this guy is an elector from texas who describes himself on twitter as a christian conservative sportsman and jeweler. and get a load of how giddy he is. >> it is my honor to report to you that we have finished tallying the votes for the presidential electors of the state of texas. and the vote totals are as follows. all 38 votes for president donald j. trump for president of the united states of america. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. that is -- that is one happy loser. [ laughter ] maybe he'll be our attorney general in the next month, who knows. why do these people think trump still has a chance? i have no idea. our el capitaning bed keeps telling them he's going to win. tomorrow he wrote, tremendous evidence pouring in on voter

fraud, there has never been anything like this in our country. that part was true. but the rest was immediately flagged by twitter. twitter, i can't believe they're bothering to put up the little warning under every one of his bogus tweets. at this point post a banner on top of the whole feed that says "this space is condemned." [ laughter ] like it or not, 36 days from now, we will have a new president. but don't tell white house press secretary kayleigh macaroni, because she thinks they're there to stay. >> now that the electoral college has voted does the president acknowledge joe biden is is president-elect? >> the president is involved in ongoing litigation relating to the election. >> what is his reaction to leader mcconnell congratulating joe biden and calling him the president-elect? >> i haven't gotten the president's reaction to that yet, but the president, again, is pursuing ongoing litigation, i would refer you to the campaign. >> jimmy: by the way, you know who the spokesperson for the campaign is? her. she is. laugh

[ laughter ] i refer you to myself. i think the subtext was, when the president stops throwing legos and punching holes in the wall, i'll ask him about it. until then, i'm not going to. [ laughter ] yesterday we learned attorney general bill barr is "stepping down." but trump still has plenty of "only the best people" in his corner, including mike lindell, ceo of my pillow, who's been out there lin belling it like it is. >> so many votes came in for our president that the algorithms and machines broke at 11:15. they shut everything down at the exact same time, which is impossible, that somebody had to order that. i'm going to call my hand fraud, and i'm going to call my foot, that there was no fraud. all nine of those supreme court justices are going to vote 9-0 because here's -- is that a hand or a foot? they're going to go, it's a hand. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well. why is there a shoe on it? [ laughter ] thanks, my pillow guy, now go back to sleep, please. crack is a hell of a drug, isn't

it? [ applause ] president-elect biden is stocking his cabinet. today he announced a notable nominee for secretary of transportation, none other than mayor pete buttigieg, who you can see here he loves transportation. [ laughter ] running his butti-choo choo around the track. if transformed he'd be the first openly lgbtq cabinet secretary, and the first cabinet secretary who can actually fit in a cabinet, which is nice. [ laughter ] you know who else is said to be plotting her political future? ivanka trump. ivanka trump is reportedly thinking about running for u.s. senate in florida, where she and jared just bought a luxurious home. the trumps are trying to become a dynasty, i guess. not a political dynasty. a dynasty like the old show. where women fight in water fountains. [ laughter ] some critics say ivanka lacks experience to represent a state at the national level. and those critics are right, she

does. [ laughter ] but what she lacks in knowledge and experience, she makes up for in beans. [ laughter ] glorious goya beans. so looks like the trumps are about to move on marco rubio like an elf on the shelf. [ laughter ] we are barreling towards the most depressing holiday season of our lives. santa is behind plexiglass this year. the elves are wearing n95 masks. we'll miss our families at christmas. we'll also miss our holiday parties at work. unless you work at the white house. those parties have been canceled. but one company is turning this unfortunate situation into opportunity. >> as the pandemic rages on, americans are missing yet another time-honored holiday tradition. the office party. that one magic night to get drunk in your cubicle. it will have to wait another year. or does it? introducing the office party party box. everything you need to have a corporate celebration in the

safety of home. each office party party box includes eggnog, no-name rum, and a premium red plastic cup. a white elephant gift you'll immediately throw away. but that's not all. just above room temperature deviled eggs. and just enough weed in the third floor bathroom. plus a cd of a co-worker's conversation you want nothing to with. turn up manheim steamroller and get ready to party like your boss is paying for it. the office party party box. please enjoy responsibly. side effects may include dw.s, hr violations, or angela the receptionist embringing nation. available wherever yankee candles are sold. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: where are those sold? every year around this time there's a consumer advocacy group, world against toys causing harm, w.a.t.c.h.

they release dangerous toys lists. it is time for "dangerous toy warnings with guillermo." >> guillermo: jimmy, here are some of the worst toys you could give to your kids for christmas -- hanukkah -- >> jimmy: what is that sound? does anyone hear a sound? >> shalom and happy hanukkah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, oh -- happy hanukkah, gary. >> i'm not gary, silly. i'm the chanucorn. the magical hanukkah unicorn. i wish i could be with you in person, but i don't want to catch ch-ch-coronavirus. >> jimmy: this is one of our writers, gary greenberg. for the past seven hanukkahs he's run into the studio and interrupted the monologue with this ridiculous character he came up with. not tonight, gary, we have safety precautions this place,

i'm sorry we don't have time -- >> but i was born in a manger in the kitchen of the carnegie delhi! >> jimmy: okay, thank you, once again, "the most dangerous toys of 2020." >> guillermo: okay, jimmy. some of the toys you are about to see might disturb you. viewer discretion is advised. the first dangerous toy is -- my first -- >> jimmy: oh, no. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> these toys are dangerous. shalom, shalom, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shalom. >> happy hanukkah! >> jimmy: we shalomed already. what is going on already? why are you back? >> i'm back with exciting news,

jimala. i have definitive proof that the chanucorn is real! >> jimmy: you say that every year, but you never really have proof. >> have you ever seen the 1964 holiday classic "rudolph the red nosed reindeer"? >> jimmy: yes, 100 times, there's no chanucorn in it at all. >> that's because the chanucorn deniers cut me out. [ laughter ] i went on yjewtube and dug up te original, incircumcised version. >> jimmy: you did? >> do you want to see it? >> jimmy: no, they don't want to -- [ cheers and applause ] >> here's the scene where santa meets rudolph for the first time. roll it! >> ho ho ho! aren't you a cute one. great bouncing babushkas! >> i'm sure it will stop as soon as he grows up. >> let's hope so, if he wants to make my team someday. >> have you met my other son?

he's special too. >> hi, santa! i'm chanucorn, the hanukkah unicorn. ♪ ♪ i can help schlep the sleigh too, as long as my back holds up. >> jolly jerusalem, what's the deal with his nose? >> what, you've never seen a schnoz before? by the way, it's very drafty in here. does anybody have a shawl? i rest my case! [ cheers and applause ] i rest my case. >> jimmy: you do? >> i do, i do. >> jimmy: first of all, santa is not anti-semitic. >> oh, so he just forgets to bring toys to jewish kids? open your eyes, man. >> jimmy: right. and secondly -- and secondly, that clip is clearly doctored. that was not in the original special. >> oh, so now we're all doctors.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's not what i said. all right, gary, thank you. good night. >> no, no, no, jimmy, please. can i play one more clip? >> jimmy: uh -- >> this bit cost me an arm and a hoof. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, then you promise you'll leave us alone? >> i swear? we have more dangerous toys to warn people about. >> i swear on my titches. roll the clip! >> wait a second, your nose can guide us through the storm. christmas is back on! >> santa, can i come too? i have eight times as many lights, see? ♪ >> i'm so sorry, chanucorn, no jews allowed. you're a liability. let's go, rudolph! >> more like adolph, am i right? [ laughter ] >> up, up and away!

merry christmas to all! hip hip for the you knows who! >> who needs santa and his sleigh? i'm going to deliver treats to all the jewish kids my myself! light them up, menorah! whee! ♪ hey, kids, who wants kniches? here you go, here you go. bombs away! watch your head. you wouldn't want a kanche concussion. >> ho ho ho, merry christmas! >> you mean, happy hanukkah! >> and so the legend of the chanucorn was born. the tuchus. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you. where did the chanucorn -- where is the chanucorn?

where did the chanucorn go? >> i've got kn ichiches, bitche! who wants one? kniche. happy hanukkah to all! >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] and the full-sized ones too, thanks, chanucorn. you're a real mensch. [ laughter ] we have a good show tonight. alanis morissette is with us. we'll be right back with carey mulligan! >> i'm on my way to the rosenbergs! ♪ should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪ ♪ and never brought to mind ♪ should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪ ♪ and auld lang syne

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show.

tonight, with the cover of john and yoko's song "happy christmas (war is over)," alanis morissette is here. tomorrow night, post malone will be with us, music from lewis capaldi. and on thursday, viola davis, daveed diggs, and the bird and the bee featuring dave grohl. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an oscar and golden globe-nominated actress and englishperson who married a mumford minus the sons. her new movie is called "promising young woman," it opens in theaters christmas day. please welcome carey mulligan. hi, carey, how are you? >> hi. i'm good. i like being described as an englishperson. >> jimmy: you are, you are. i have to tell you, after seeing your movie, your accent is so good. it is so unbelievably american that it is -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: -- actually shocking for me to be speaking to you in this pretend english accent that you have. [ laughter ] >> thank you, i've been working on my pretend english accent for a while.

>> jimmy: you are in england right now, yes? >> i am, i am. >> jimmy: is that the best place to celebrate christmas? because to me it seems like it is. >> oh, 100%, yeah. we have all the things, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, it's really -- it's built for christmas. in a way, christmas was -- not technically invented there, but kind of invented there, by charles dickens, right? >> pretty much, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, our idea of christmas. my staff is laughing at me. [ laughter ] >> we have some sort of ownership over christmas. >> jimmy: yes, ownership. because it was manger-themed before that. and no one wants to spend christmas in a manger. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: do you love christmas? is it one of your things? >> oh, christmas is my only thing. particularly this year, christmas just feels like the sort of beacon of light at the end of the year. yeah, i'm a big, big christmas person. >> jimmy: what are your family traditions? is there anything you do that other people don't? >> it's weird, because they're

not fun. they're just sort of rules. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> where i insist on things being done a certain way. >> jimmy: oh. >> and if they're not, i get sort of cross. yeah. >> jimmy: wouldn't woo you say you insist on them -- is this with your parents, your kids, with all of them, or what? >> the kids are now part of it now, i guess. yeah, it's sort of -- my parents and my husband and everyone has to sort of still be in their pajamas, no one's allowed to have a shower first, you have to get your drink ready, you've had breakfast, get your drink ready, sit down on the floor, focus, don't be on your phone or distracted with other things. everyone has to watch the person opening the present. >> jimmy: you will allow breakfast, though, before the gifts are opened? >> yeah. but like a quick breakfast. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a quick brack faeakfa >> sustenance. >> jimmy: what if the rules are violated? is there a penalty? >> there was one serious violation one year. my family know how seriously i

take christmas and it's not a game. [ laughter ] the first year that marcus and i were married, and we were away. my parents had a -- we were in austria. we'd gone on holiday there for christmas. my brother was staying with my parents, we were across the road in a hotel, which kind of troubled me that we weren't all going to wake up in our pajamas. i said, we'll come over in our pajamas in the morning but don't do anything until we get there, you can't do anything without us. we arrived at the time we were meant to get there. i told my brother, texted him, we're on our way. as we come through the door,i see my brother, he's got wrapping paper and a thing. he's going, oh my god, i love it! at which point i say -- i can't believe you started without me. and i burst into tears and walked out of the room. and slammed the door behind me. and locked myself into the bathroom. and my brother was like, oh my god, it's a joke! this is a bit of wrapping paper.

he was totally kidding. [ laughter ] [ applause ] for like 20 minutes, marcus was the only one allowed into the bathroom and i felt like a 12-year-old. but i was so cross. they sort of -- i don't know. anyway. yeah, i take it very seriously. >> jimmy: sounds like it. sounds like your brother's a good actor, too. >> i know, it's annoying. >> jimmy: so you sent us a photograph. before we get to the photograph, you have a story. is it true that you deliver your own -- you do the deliveries of christmas gifts yourself? >> yes. so i was bringing a -- like a very big suitcase full of presents. it was sort of those kid-free moments where i had a latte, and i was listening to music, and i was listening to taylor swift, and i was like, 'tis the dance season. and i was so in my little zone. and then like a very conscientious person, i realized i should sanitize. because covid. so i sort of reached into my pocket to get the sanitizer out.

as i was sanitizing my hand i saw this sort of motion out of the corner of my eye. then turned with klobucharing blaring to see my suitcase in the middle of the train tracks. >> jimmy: and you stopped to take a photograph? >> i wanted to show marcus how bad it was, and my coffee was there as well. in my panic i'd thrown my coffee. and one of my ear pods also sort of got caught up in all the things. my coffee, airpod, suitcase is down there on the train track? did you go down and get it? >> that was my first thought, i'll go grab it. i started shouting, help! because i didn't know what to do, didn't want a train to come along. this station master man came along, and i said, i can just get it, there's 10 minutes till the train comes.

he was like, no, you can't just get it. you can't just walk onto a train track and try and retrieve a suitcase. ended up being like seven guys in high visibility jackets, they made an announcement, the whole train station was looking at me because they knew it was my fault that the train was delayed. it was just -- i wanted the earth to swallow me up. thankfully, in my big face mask, just hiding. >> jimmy: sometimes the masks come in handy, i guess, especially in this particular situation. like a christmas miracle, they rescued -- did they get the ear pods too? >> well, that was the point where i sort of -- i was just about to ask, do you mind having a little look for my ear pods? and i thought perhaps that was -- >> jimmy: yeah, right. [ laughter ] >> a bit too much. i just left it. you know. >> jimmy: a christmas miracle, if ever there was one. when we come back, carey mulligan is with us. we'll see a clip from her new movie "promising young woman." it opens in theaters christmas day.

we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by pandora. cozy up with by the fire mode at pandora.com/holidays. a galaxy far awaya frgets closer to home. and a low price unlocks a high score. everything changes. and if you have to travel for care, like sam did?

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santa, santa, you're on mute! just wanted to say thanks. thanks for believing.

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>> a second ago you were determined for me to stay. you were pretty insistent, actually. >> i'm a nice guy. >> are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is carey mulligan in "promising young woman." i enjoyed this movie. i wouldn't know how to begin to describe it, so i'm going to leave that to you. >> oh, man. that's a hard one. >> jimmy: it's a combination of a lot of things. >> it is. we've been -- it's -- so far we've been saying it's a dark comedy, revenge thriller, romance? no, not romance. but it's a lot. it's a lot of things. >> jimmy: i think i'd say -- there's some romance in there. >> oh, there's a montage of romance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i guess you do need a montage, don't you? i never really thought about it. >> do you? >> jimmy: you're right on that. >> that's what makes it. >> jimmy: there sure is a montage with beau burnham, your love interest in this film. and he's very good in it. >> oh, man.

he's such a good actor. >> jimmy: funny guy, too. >> very funny. very, very funny. and, you know, somebody that we just -- that just caused havoc on set because i couldn't keep it together when i was working with him, because he was hilarious. >> jimmy: you have a lot of very funny people in this movie. again, the subject matter is, well, when people see it, they will understand why this is weird. but you've got alison brie, christopher we just saw, molly shannon, jennifer coolidge, you've got a lot of very funny people. who did you bond with on set? >> i have to say, the jennifer coolidge experience is like no other. >> jimmy: she's very funny, yeah. >> oh, man. just the way that she can improvise. it's just -- i mean, it really feels like you're watching a genius. and i have been such a massive fan of hers in the christopher guest movies, getting to watch her -- this is amazing dinner table scene in the film, where beau, who's playing my

boyfriend, meets my parents for the first time. and some sort of awkward conversation about what everyone did for a living. so beau asks, you know, very innocently, what my mother's job is. jennifer coolidge started improvising. and the first job that she came up with, fish tank interior designer. [ laughter ] she late in life found a passion for interior design of fish tanks. the second one that got me that ruined -- i couldn't keep it together, was that she was somebody who trained small animals to detect carbon monoxide. [ laughter ] she delivers these completely deadpan. and dylancy brown is brilliantly, steadfastly standing, impressed with his wife and manages -- the power of comedians to keep it together through stuff like that. >> jimmy: well, yeah. the movie is really good. give my best to marcus. and i hope your brother doesn't ruin christmas this year. [ laughter ] thanks for being with us, we appreciate it.

i think it's bedtime where you are now, go to sleep. >> it is. >> jimmy: carey mulligan, everybody. "promising young woman" opens in theaters christmas day. we'll be back with alanis morissette! wathis year, try shopping for mchristmas gifts live. there's a place you can go where great gifts fill each shelf no need for shipping - just grab them yourself come find perfect presents up through christmas eve at prices almost too good to believe so if you still need gifts and it's already december this is the place to spend less and gift better t.j. maxx, marshalls, and homegoods.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. alanis morissette is on the way. first, the holidays are upon us and guillermo has teamed up with the good folks at pandora to deliver much-needed holiday cheer. >> what a lousy christmas! makes me wish i was never born! >> don't say that. >> who are you? >> i'm your guardian angle. >> don't you mean angel? >> yep. but listen, if you were never born, you would never get to enjoy pandora's amazing holiday hits radio station. >> well, i'm not in the mood for holiday hits. >> it's okay. pandora has seasonal hits for any mood. like "pop holiday." "musical duets." "holiday original." >> "holiday party." >> coming right up. >> wow, this changes everything!

you really are an angle! what's that sound? ringing bells? >> that means i earned my wings! >> wings for gill-mero? >> guillermo. best christmas ever! >> listen your way with all-new seasonal modes on holiday hits radio, pandora.com/holiday. i had this hundred thousand dollar student debt. two hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars in debt.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. 25 years ago our next guest put her hand in her pocket and told us what we ought to know. last week she released this remixed album, "such pretty forks in the mix." please welcome alanis morissette. [ cheers and applause ] hi, alanis. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm pretty well, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. it's crazy that it's been 25 years since "jagged little pill" came out. does it feel like that to you? >> it feels like 25 minutes and 50 years, in some ways. it feels like a whole other lifetime. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i remember putting the -- first released, i remember going

to radio stations and the program director's response was, "we're playing tori amos, so we're all good, our quota is maxed out." there was only room for one woman at the time. it was a turning point we were all part of. >> jimmy: i worked at one of those radio stations here in los angeles. kroc. >> no way. >> jimmy: i remember us interviewing you. i remember the first time i heard the song. i remember thinking, oh my god, this is a scary, scary woman. [ laughter ] >> that's great. and it's true. >> jimmy: yeah. but you didn't seem that scary when we met you, you just seemed polite. >> no, i think i had gotten it all out. eminem and i have this thing, everyone assumes we're going to come in and rip everything apart and scream at everybody. but we've gotten it out in our music, so by the time we see you, we're very convivial.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations, your broadway musical based on your music is nominated for more tonys -- 15 tonys or something? [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. ? that's crazy. what does it feel like sitting in the audience and listening to and watching others perform your work? >> well, i'd always been monologizing in some ways, singing at. there's always been a dialogue energetically. sitting in the audience and hearing the songs through different genders or nongenders and through the story diablo cody pulled from the songs made it super cohesive. i could not stop sobbing. diablo cody and i would challenge each other to see if we could hang out and not weep, to the point the musical director tom used to come up behind me and put his hands down because i'd be shaking, seriously. >> jimmy: does $that confuse other people in the audience sitting next to you? >> who were perfectly fine?

>> jimmy: yeah, alanis is here, and she's having a nervous breakdown. >> she is, and maybe we could do it along with her. for me, i don't want to be alone in that, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you live in san francisco now. are you ready for christmas? is it a big deal in your house? >> it was never a big deal until my son was born, christmas morning, 6:34 at our house, 10 years ago. he's turning 10, i can't believe it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow, a christmas birthday. yeah, that's not good for him. >> that cuts both ways. >> jimmy: you have to compete with geez, you don't want that. >> jesus is okay, apparently, with the competition. but what we do is in the morning we have mrs. claus, santa claus, the whole thing. then the afternoon it's a birthday regalia. >> jimmy: oh, you switch to birthday in the afternoon. >> we have to. last year i blew it. he told me last year i blew it. >> jimmy: do you think he gets as many gifts as he would get if his birthday was in june? >> i do, because we compensate. >> jimmy: you do. >> we have the guilt of having to splish them both on one day.

he's are lovely problems to have. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how is the homeschooling going? you have a few kids, right? >> three, yeah. we've been homeschooling for a long time. people really didn't want to know about it, and it sounded daunting, which it is. then once the pandemic happened, my phone started ringing off the hook. people saying, tell me a little bit more about this thing you do. >> jimmy: i've heard of unschooling but i don't know what it is, exactly. >> for us -- it's different for everyone. for us it's child led. not in that we're asking them to be parentified or lead the way. we create opportunities for them to learn, little pods of paint, otherwise, and we follow them. so they might be interested in something for an hour and a half, and that's great. they might be interested for 30 seconds and we're done. and we usually go by howard gardner's multiple intelligence theory. when our family, someone says, that person's so smart. it will be often answered with, smart how? there's so many different kinds

of smart. >> jimmy: wow. do they know how to read? [ laughter ] >> they do. >> jimmy: they do, that's good. so that you insist on. >> no, there's no -- the thing is, jimmy, it's not even that we insist on it. i barely formally taught it. some kids learn in clusters of words, some kids learn one word at a time. at one point my father, who's a teacher, my mom's a teacher, they both asked the same question you did. are they reading? we gave my son a piece of paper and said, with our fingers crossed behind our back, read all these. he read all of them. so yes, they learn how to read and write when they're ready. >> jimmy: okay, wow, how about that. i really feel like my son would just major in paw patrol in college. [ laughter ] >> that's great. >> jimmy: if we gave him that option. >> is that a bad thing? >> jimmy: yes, that is a bad thing. >> okay, okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so this album is a remix of the album you put out over the summer. what happened? did you get bored and start fiddling with it? [ laughter ] >> i wish i could take credit.

it's a trans inclusive, all women produced, remix record. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this one is. the other one is not? >> produced by alex and katherine marks, written by mark ferrell. this came together over the last few months and i'm finishing a meditation record right now. >> jimmy: are you really? >> i can contribute something that helps. >> jimmy: what does that mean, a meditation record? you say nothing for 45 minutes? [ laughter ] >> yes, which is very relieving for me. shut it! yes, it's not 45 minutes. it's a really long one. for me i thought, what can i give or serve or support people in doing that is going to help us calm down during pandemic time? meditation record. >> jimmy: meditation record. >> that's almost finished. >> jimmy: wow, interesting. all right. >> i'm going to do a guided one too, where i do a little walk-through. if it's about sleep, insomnia, depression, anxiety, addiction, whatever it is, there's going to be a guided meditation for those who don't really want to do

meditation. some people, if you leave us alone with sea lens, all the voices get louder. guided meditation helps. >> jimmy: you've come a long way from terrorizes ex-boyfriends to helping us meditate [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> it's my story. >> jimmy: "the remix album, such pretty forks in the mix." it's out now. when we come back, christmas music from alanis morissette. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ d the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ? thanks to carey mulligan. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, with a cover of john and yoko's "happy christmas (war is over)," alanis morissette! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and so this is christmas and what have you done ♪ ♪ another year over and a new one just begun ♪

♪ and so this is christmas i hope you had fun ♪ ♪ the near and the dear ones the old and the young ♪ ♪ a very merry christmas and a happy new year ♪ ♪ let's hope it's a good one without any fear ♪ ♪ and so this is christmas for weak and for strong ♪

♪ for rich and the poor ones the road is so long ♪ ♪ and so happy christmas for black and for white ♪ ♪ for yellow and red ones let's stop all the fight ♪ ♪ a very merry christmas and a happy new year ♪ ♪ let's hope it's a good one without any fear ♪ ♪ so this is christmas war is over and what have we done if you want it ♪ ♪ another year over war is over and a new one just begun now ♪

♪ and so happy christmas war is over we hope you had fun if you want it ♪ ♪ the near and the dear ones war is over the old and the young now ♪ ♪ a very merry christmas and a happy new year let's hope it's a good one without any fear ♪ ♪ war is over if you want it war is over now ♪ ♪

whoo! yeah, buddy! ♪ ♪ ♪

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