your time. right now on jimmy kimmel, >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight earvin "magic" johnson, jenny slate, and music from ashnikko. and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello, thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. here's a question. why aren't these vaccination stations open 24 hours? why is it so hard to get a shot? how is it 7-eleven manages to stay open all night, and the places with the life-saving drugs close at 8:00? put the vaccine in slurpees if you have to. i want out of my house. [ cheers and applause ] it's interesting. getting the vaccine is like a college acceptance letter for senior citizens. "my dad got into dodger stadium." "oh really? that's great.

my mom is waitlisted at the forum." [ laughter ] this is kind of crazy. you know how you can get bumped up closer to the top of the list? by smoking. for real. smokers have priority over nonsmokers as far as the vaccination goes. which reminds me, guillermo, you want to have our nightly smoke after the show? >> guillermo: yes, i would love to. i love to smoke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: me too. i love smoking so much. that's why we do it every day, right? >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: ah, cigarettes. sweet cigarettes. >> guillermo: cigarettes. >> jimmy: you know what? maybe i'll have one now. can i bum one off you? >> guillermo: oh. sorry, i don't smoke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, you ruined it. now we're back at the end of the line. [ laughter ] how do you prove that you're a smoker? wear a shirt with little burn holes in it? do they look for yellow teeth? i don't know. you know when dr. fauci says things are going to get back to normal? he has no idea. dr. fauci says he can't give a definite answer on when life

will return to what it once was. he says before that can happen, between 70% and 85% of the population will have to be vaccinated. and we're currently at around 2%. so there's really only one thing we can do, accuse the scientists of being part of a scamdemic and do whatever we want. i'm even starting to forget what normal even was. it's like "mad men" or something. i remember it being good, i just can't remember what happened. [ laughter ] listen, i just need to know when i can jump in the ball pit at chuck e. cheese again. that's all. give me a date, fauci. [ applause ] i will tell you this. i've been practicing some really cool handshakes for when things get back to normal. [ laughter ] this is interesting. the world health organization, w.h.o., is currently spit-balling names for the new variants of the virus that are developing. well, maybe spit-balling isn't the right phrase. [ laughter ] they're kicking some ideas around. they're brainstorming. to avoid some of the demonization that can result from naming the virus after a particular country. or city.

when they call it the "uk variant" or "the brazil variant" or "the china virus," it can lead to discrimination against people who come from that part of the world. the main problem is, when these new variants come out, they get names like, 20-eye, 501, y-v one. so then people just say "i got the canadian virus." maybe they should just use the names from "mambo number five." remember that song? "a little bit of monica in bombay. a little bit of erica in l.a." that would be fun. [ laughter ] or we could just name them all stephen miller. [ laughter ] you know what? you have to be careful with branding this stuff. this is from the grocery store. it's a bag of grapes, brand name "eco-vid." like a combination of covid and e. coli. all at once. who's buying these? what does nature have to do to get you to reletter a bag? canada today had to issue a

formal apology to china because of a t-shirt. a government diplomat, who works at the canadian embassy in beijing, had these t-shirts made up. it's the logo of the wu-tang clan, with the word "wuhan," instead of "wu tang." apparently the chinese thought the letter "w" was the outline of a bat, referencing covid. they didn't realize it's the logo for a legendary hip-hop group. which means right now, some poor canadian is at the chinese embassy in toronto right now trying to explain who old dirty bastard is. [ laughter ] and anyway, even though it had nothing to do with the virus, canada is apologizing. because that's what they do. [ laughter ] meanwhile, in memorabilia news, a toilet seat that once belonged to adolph hitler is now available to the highest bidder. they are auctioning off hitler's toilet seat. so if you really want to cheer up donald trump, it's kind of a two for two. [ laughter ] this is the seat. it is the perfect gift for the most incontinent white supremacist in your family. [ laughter ] since the end of world war ii, the seat has been on display in

the basement of an american soldier who now lives in new jersey, he took it home as a souvenir after the war. is there any question more unsettling than "wanna come down to the basement and see my hitler toilet?" [ laughter ] they're expecting the seat to go for around $15,000. and then what do you do with it? what, start a collection? hang it next to kim jong-un's squatty potty? what do you do with this? this is, by the way, not the only hitler-related item on the market. there's a bunch of stuff like this. hitler's personal shaving mug. this is the shaving mug he used to carve that little moustache out every morning. [ laughter ] look, it's hitler's mug shot. the cops finally got him. [ laughter ] that seems bogus to me, i don't believe that's hitler's shaving mug. his face is on it. i mean, what kind of a maniac would put his own face on his shaving -- oh wait, i guess, maybe that makes sense. [ laughter ] [ applause ] yes, that makes more sense. while donald trump is in exile in florida, his third favorite

son, eric is enjoying his remaining time on tv. [ laughter ] e.t. was on hannity last night, popping off about the massive double standard and "unequal justice" he and his family have so wrongly endured. >> there is a double standard in this country, a massive double standard. there's unequal justice in this country. you mentioned it with the new, you know, doj guy, you know, assistant, head of the doj, who's happened to represent hunter biden, or you know -- you see that -- can you imagine my father ever tried to do that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: huh? your father had his lawyer pay off a porn star, and didn't want to reimburse him for it. can you imagine if joe biden ever tried to do that? of course eric weighed in on daddy's trial for impeachment next week. >> even when he's a private citizen they're still trying to impeach him, that's how deep this whole thing goes.

they want to tar and feather the man. they know there's never been a more beloved political figure in our country's history. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? let's have another look at that hitler mug if we could. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: sorry to interrupt, please, continue. >> what my father did is something no other political figure has done in american history. he changed this country for the better. he gave americans the greatest civics lesson. it's exactly what this country needed. he's really a father to america, and i'm incredibly proud of him. i would be right by his side, painful as it was. he's an amazing guy and i've never been more proud of him. i've never been more proud. >> jimmy: i think he's hoping if he says he's more proud of him, the father of america will maybe say it back to him one day? [ laughter ] i don't know. meanwhile, lindsay graham, is now the latest republican to try to explain the words and tweets of q-aunt congresswoman margarine taylor green,

specifically when it comes to her thoughts on jewish space lasers. >> is that true? was she misquoted? was she taken out of context, that there's a jewish laser in the skies starting fires in california? i don't know. i know how words can be twisted. i know how you can be taken out of context. >> jimmy: well, wait. how do you twist -- that's a real twist word-wise. real twist. maybe she meant to say "jewish losers" were starting the forest fires in california. anyway, we're putting her in charge of children's education, just to be safe. [ laughter ] here in hollywood, it was a day of self-congratulation, the nominations for the golden globes came out. sacha baron cohen was nominated for best actor, for his movie "borat subsequent moviefilm." but poor rudy giuliani was snubbed for his brilliant turn, acting like he was just tucking in his shirt. [ laughter ] for her work on "the undoing," nicole kidman was nominated for best actress who drank too much rosé and sang her show's theme song. and for the first time ever, there are more female directors

nominated than male directors. [ cheers and applause ] which will make it especially painful when the globe is given to a male director. [ laughter ] the super bowl is sunday. it's the tampa bay buccaneers versus the kansas city chiefs. or so we hope. the chiefs now have a situation on their hands. more than 20 players and staffers were scheduled to get haircuts on sunday. until the team found out their barber tested positive for the virus. he was giving the haircuts, they pulled the guy in the middle of cutting someone's hair. which here's a thought, maybe next time, start the haircuts after you get the test results. [ laughter ] why do they even need haircuts? they wear helmets to work! there's no reason. daniel kilgore, the center for the chiefs, got the worst deal. he was the one getting his hair cut when the barber got pulled. so now, not only could he miss the super bowl, he looks like a broken chia pet. [ laughter ] the rumor is that chiefs quarterback patrick mahomes was next in line when they got the test back. which is scary.

and also weird because we asked patrick mahomes to be part of an all-nfl edition of "mean tweets." and you'll never guess what the topic was. >> i imagine patrick mahomes barber is the superhero who has to run save the world every time he gets halfway through mahomes' haircut. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: life imitates art again. [ laughter ] now i guess we'll wait to see if patrick will be watching the game sunday from mahome. [ laughter ] the players have to test negative for five consecutive days to play. which, you know, even if they don't, there is a way they could play. all they need to do is have no tackling. make it a flag situation. [ laughter ] the big storyline this year is tom brady. the indestructible tom brady, making his tenth super bowl appearance. brady's trip to the super bowl with a new team has been the cause of some very mixed emotions for new england patriots fans. so i want to check in with one we know. he's 2 years old. please welcome the tart-tongued

toddler from seeconk, mass, tommy brady fitzpatrick! hello, tommy. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, you gotta be [ bleep ] kidding me, this guy? haven't you been ravaged by the china virus yet? >> jimmy: nice to see you too, tommy. how's everything? >> honestly? nawt too frickin good. corona's been a frickin' nightmare. i've been hitting the sippy cup pretty hahd. >> jimmy: i'm sorry to hear that, tom. >> yeah, no kidding. my dry january lasted exactly one paw patrol. not a pretty picture. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's in that sippy cup? >> we call that a harwich haymaker. >> jimmy: what's that? >> jagermeister, mashed bananas, regeneron, you fruit bowl. >> jimmy: oh, is that to help ward off covid-19? >> no, it's to give me a boner. of course it's for covid, you moron. listen. are we just gonna sit here

powdering each other's dingleberries, or are we gonna talk football? >> jimmy: you're right, let's talk football. and specifically tom brady. >> the goat! tom terrific! touchdown tommy! >> jimmy: okay, all right, so sounds like you're still a big tom brady fan. >> what? no. that backstabbah. that broccoli-eatah. he betrayed pats nation, jimmy. to move to florida! he plays for the buccaneers now, are you kidding me? the guy [ bleep ] stole gronk! he's a benedict ahnold. he's dead to me. dead! >> jimmy: wow. really. so you hate tom brady? >> what? how dare you? how [ bleep ] dare you! tom brady is the goat! and my namesake. the goat, jimmy! >> jimmy: wait. so you like tom brady. >> like him? i revere him! if i reveyaed him any more, i

would have to move to revere. which i would never do because between us and my brothah's rottweilah, reveyah? is a frickin' ahmpit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not familiar with the neighborhoods in boston. i feel like i'm getting a mixed message. do you love tom brady or do you hate him? >> yes! what's the difference? you don't get it. i love tom, and i hate him! and i love to hate him! and i hate to love him! it's tearin' me apaht! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i can see this must be hard on you, tommy. >> it's not hahd, jimmy! it's wicked hahd. i got majah cognative dissonance heyah. tom! why, why, why'd you do it, come on! >> jimmy: now don't -- don't get all upset, don't cry -- >> why, why, why! [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ] -- >> jimmy: here -- okay.

>> you got him all worked up again, why is wrong with you?'sm w are you, darlene? >> shut your gap, you hollyweirdo. i was right in the middle of yoger. ruined everything. calm down, calm down. >> jimmy: take care of your baby, please. all right, he's calming down. >> [ bleep ] thirsty, ma, how about giving me some of that left boob. >> jimmy: oh, no, okay -- all right, that's -- you know what that's a private thing. that's a mother and child thing. i feel like we shouldn't be witness to -- okay, there you go, all right. >> thanks, ma. every asshole in this deplorable commonwealth is going to be right behind the man we all despite. from taunton to squantom! >> from chicopee to chelmsford! >> from shrewsbury to swampscott, we'll be rootin' for that ungrateful two-timah. and when t seveh hwidi trophy r the

mark my words. you know what it's gonna be, jimmy? do you? >> jimmy: no. >> it's going to be -- bittahsweet. >> wicked bittahsweet. >> unbelievably so! >> jimmy: and on that note, we'll say goodbye to devoted patriots fan and child alcoholic tommy brady fitzpatrick, and his mom, darlene. [ applause ] >> alkie?! [ bleep ] >> you want a piece of me? >> i will end you [ bleep ]! you're done! >> jimmy: i don't want a piece. we want to introduce you to magic later on. >> oh, i like magic, yeah. torched him in the '80s, we'll torch him again tonight! >> jimmy: we've got music from ashnikko and be right back with magic johnson, stick around! ♪

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, from the new animated series "the great north," the very funny jenny slate is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, her debut recording is called "demidevil." music from ashnikko. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, jamie dornan and robin roberts will join us, with music from pentatonix. so please join us then. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest on the show tonight is an american treasure as beloved here in l.a. as anyone has ever been. he is a five-time nba champion with the lakers, and one-time champion with the dodgers, so far. please welcome number 32, hall of famer earvin "magic" johnson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm doing great. >> jimmy: you're holding in -- hanging in there all right? >> yeah, i'm hanging in. everybody's been healthy and safe. >> jimmy: good, good. >> especially for my parents, i wanted to make sure they were good. >> jimmy: did they get the vaccine? >> not yet. >> jimmy: they haven't? >> not yet. >> jimmy: they're giving them out at dodger stadium, why not? >> they're in michigan, hopefully we can get them there. >> jimmy: are they reluctant to get it? >> they're thinking about it. >> jimmy: kareem was saying he thinks the young players in the nba should get the vaccine on television, just to encourage people to go get the vaccine. >> well, i think he's right. when you think about they're popular, they have a great platform. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i think that people would say, oh, wow. lebron got it.

maybe i should get it. kevin durant got it, maybe i should go get my vaccination as well. >> jimmy: we know based on all the tattoos -- [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: did you ever imagine -- first of all, both of your teams, lakers and dodgers, win titles this year. and still it's the worst year ever. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. [ laughter ] >> and it's so bad because here we have these two great teams with lebron and a.d., two best -- top five players in the world. mookie betts and kershaw. and we can't even go to the stadium and see them play. that's what's killing me. >> jimmy: that is bittersweet, yeah. >> and we didn't have a parade. you know how many millions of people would have been out there for the lakers and the dodgers? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it would have been amazing. so i got my ring. >> jimmy: you got your ring. how many rings do you have now? i know you have a dodgers ring. >> yep. >> jimmy: you have many lakers

rings. five when you were a player. >> five as an owner. >> five as an owner. >> one now as a former executive. >> jimmy: former executive? wow. [ applause ] >> yes. everybody, remember, both of us got in trouble. >> jimmy: right, right. you got in a little more trouble than i did. >> about $500,000 worth of trouble. >> jimmy: but i didn't get a ring, i got no ring. >> but i got this out of it. so i take that fine. >> jimmy: that's pretty good. how many rings do you have total now? >> 13. >> jimmy: one with the sparks, right? >> one with the sparks. dodgers. and then 11 with the lakers. >> jimmy: do you ever put them on all your fingers and on your foot? just to admire them? >> that would be so cool. >> jimmy: that would be cool. >> but you know, it's great. because -- >> jimmy: yeah, i know it's great. there's no "because," it's great. >> everything i wanted to do in life was to win.

that's all i wanted to do in life. >> jimmy: yeah? >> when i look and think about my career, i won championships from the third grade all the way to now. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> i won every championship in lansing, michigan. >> jimmy: i never won anything. >> this show. >> jimmy: i have a wedding ring and it cost -- i had to buy it myself. [ applause ] >> hey. you put winners on your show, that's all that matters. >> jimmy: i cannot wait to see -- i know they're doing a documentary about you now, right? >> and i want you to be on. >> jimmy: i would love to be on it. >> officially, this is the invite. >> jimmy: i was actually going to ask you if i could be a part of it. >> you don't have to ask, i'm asking you. >> jimmy: how many parts -- how many will there be? have you figured it out? >> we haven't figured out how many segments, but it's going to be long. >> jimmy: good. >> it's going to cover all the way from growing up in lansing, michigan, to now. >> jimmy: did you go through all your old video. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: find things people have never seen before?

>> oh, yeah. they're going to be shocked, it's going to be great. also, they're going to hear from people i grew up with. back in lansing, michigan, we've already interviewed them. also my family. so it's going to be really nice. then it will come all the way up to present day as a businessman, being on your show. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it's -- people going to see so many different things that they've never seen before. >> jimmy: will your talk show be a part of it? >> yes. >> jimmy: i would love to be part of that. >> that's the bad segment. [ applause ] that will be the segment "what magic didn't do right." >> jimmy: the one thing in his whole life. >> i won't never make that mistake again. >> jimmy: has larry -- have you had larry on it? >> yep, he's agreed to do it. >> jimmy: michael? >> michael. so we're going to have all the guys. >> jimmy: you were part of a great -- i didn't realize how central you were to this great moment in michael jordan's career where the shrug, the

famous -- this motion. tell that story, would you? >> so i'm in -- i'm on nbc calling the games. so i'm at his house the night before. so he called me, come on out. i went to the house. we played cards. so we were playing cards. and it got to be about -- 1:00 a.m. in the morning. now the game's, you know -- the next night. so i said, man, let me go so you can get some rest. no, you stay here, because i'm going to tear clyde drexler up tomorrow. and i was like, oh, wow. and he got this look on his face like he wanted to play him right then. >> jimmy: because he was not winning at cards? [ laughter ] >> exactly. so i'm thinking, okay. maybe he just said that. so we get to the game. and he hits that first three. the second three. the third three. now remember, hitting them in a row. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> he hit six threes. at the last oneed

>> jimmy: there it is. so this shrug that jordan gave was to you. >> saying, what did i tell you i was going to do? [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you guys are something else. this is unbelievable. >> you know, we love each other, respect each other, and -- my bucket list was always to be really good friends and to play with michael jordan and larry bird one day, and i chance to do that with the dream team, and it was so cool, and we all are friends now. >> jimmy: it's crazy but it's great. i love that you're friends. >> yes. >> jimmy: it makes us all feel good about the future, you know? it does. >> it better be a good future. >> jimmy: i know. i hope we have a future. magic johnson is with us. we'll be right back. you can't claim that as a dependent! because it's inanimate! people ask me what sort of person should become a celebrity accountant. and, i tell them, "nobody should."

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>> jimmy: we are back with the great magic johnson. you're involved in a lot of business deals. and i know you're doing something that is -- it's part charitable, and also just smart. you're investing in small businesses. what kind of small businesses are you investing in? >> what we did, jimmy, was the fact that, first of all, the paycheck protection did not trickle-down to a lot of small black or latino business owners. my company equitrust put up $320

million to help small businesses keep their doors open and their employees. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. $320 million. >> we've saved almost 15,000 businesses. >> jimmy: wow. >> that's really -- well, i've been blessed, i want to bless others. we need those businesses to stay open. and we need the people to keep their jobs. that's what it's all about. if the economy's going to come back, if the country is going to come back, all of us have to do our part. thank you for your show staying on, because we need that entertainment. because people are -- [ cheers and applause ] they're struggling, you know? they're struggling. we need the laughs. we need to have a good time. >> jimmy: you're nice to say that, but i didn't give $325 million. so thank you. >> well, just -- i just want to help other people, because somebody helped me along the way. >> jimmy: there is a gentleman who is -- when we talk about how many rings you have, really i think -- i don't know, you might have more than anyone in american sports. but the guy you have to watch out for is tom brady.

>> that's right. >> jimmy: are you -- do you feel a kinship with him, and are you rooting for him in the super bowl? >> i would say that i love watching tom brady play the game of football. because he is a champion, and he makes his teammates better, right? if you think about the greatest athletes we've ever seen play -- michael jordan did the same, larry bird did the same, tom brady is doing the same, whether that was in new england or now with tampa bay. so am i cheering for tampa bay? i just want a great game. >> jimmy: right. >> i love mahomes, you know. i love watching him play. because it was almost -- we played the game the same way. no-look passes. the way he's the entertainer out there. but i just want a great game, so whichever team wins, they win. but i cannot wait for sunday. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about tommy lasorda, who passed away a few weeks ago. he was the manager of the dodgers for many years, and also, you guys were the biggest stars in town for, i don't know,

40 years or something like that. how well did you know tommy? >> jimmy, he was the second person that i met in l.a. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. when i signed with the lakers, they want, we want you to go to a dodger game and you're going to meet tommy lasorda. and i was like, wow. what? you know, they'd won the world series, i couldn't wait. and i'm a baseball fan. so i go to the stadium. he sat me down for an hour and gave me a pep talk on l.a., what it means to play in l.a., what it means to be a dodger. i left there, jimmy, i wanted to play basketball, baseball, right then, because he got me fired up! that's who he was. and i sat next to him -- owned the team for eight years. he taught me so much baseball. but he also taught me so many curse words too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was looking at some pictures today. i was thinking about you guys. what your relationship may have been. and i was looking at pictures, and in every picture of you with

tommy lasorda, you are cracking up. there are a bunch of them with tommy standing here and you and steve garvey are dying laughing. and i just was wondering what was going on. >> he would call the game -- he would tell me what the pitcher was -- what pitch the pitcher was going to pitch. and he was always right. he's getting ready to throw a curveball. a fastball. then he would say, if they threw at the dodger player's head -- i wish i was manager right now, i would tell my pitcher, throw at him, dammit, throw at him too! he'd get fired up. we'd be sitting there, it would be so much fun, because tommy loved being mr. dodger. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there was nobody -- nobody would ever be greater than tommy lasorda. [ applause ] >> jimmy: nobody seemed to have loved their job more than he loved his job. >> his legacy will live forever. >> jimmy: did you ever see him naked? >> no. [ laughter ]

no, no. and also, when they put his restaurant in dodger stadium, that was a great moment. that's good, you caught me off guard with that one. >> jimmy: i wanted to find out how close you were, you know? >> not that close, jimmy, not that close. >> jimmy: all right. well, it's always great to see you. >> thanks for having me, my friend. >> jimmy: the super bowl this weekend but the nba goes on. the warriors and mavericks, saturday night, 8:30 here on abc. magic johnson, thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with jenny slate! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by lipton iced tea, official sponsor of the nfl and super bowl lv. ♪ ♪ smooth driving pays off. ♪ with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save.

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we have the power to take on climate change. use less from 4 to 9 pm to keep california golden. >> jimmy: welcome back. music from ashnikko is on the way. our next guest could probably sleep in one of magic johnson's shoes, but she has no reason to do it she's got her own house. she is a very funny woman with a new animated series called "the great north." it premieres valentine's day on fox. say hello to jenny slate. [ cheers and applause ] hi, jenmy. how are you? >> hi, jimmy. hi, i'm fine, hi, hi. >> jimmy: everything good with you? it's good to see you. >> yeah -- i'm just -- it is so nice to see you, thank you for having me, hi. i'm wondering -- it's very

awkward this way, is there any way we could do it in person? >> jimmy: that's fine by me, as long as it's safe, i'm fine with it. >> is there a person who could -- do my bidding? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we have bidding-doers here, we have a lot of them. >> could you introduce me again? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. ladies and gentlemen, she's got a show, it's coming to you on valentine's day on fox, it's called "the great north." please welcome jenny slate. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, jenmy. no elbow bump? all right. >> yeah. stay far. >> jimmy: how are you? how you doing? great to see you. >> great to see you too, thank you so much for having me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's great to have you here in person, you know? a lot of these guests are virtual. it sure is good to have human

contact. >> yeah, you know, face-to-face -- it sort of makes everything feel a little less bizarre. >> jimmy: i know, yeah. [ laughter ] congratulations on your new baby girl. >> thank you so very much. what a beautiful thing that happened to me, ha ha ha ha! ? jenmy, i'm sorry, this is kind of giving me the creeps, can i speak to your real face instead? >> okay, yeah, i understand. that's fine. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, yeah. >> i would love if somebody would send that cutout to my home, though. >> jimmy: consider it on its way. [ laughter ] >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: give me somebody to talk to. >> yeah, that's right, that's right. >> jimmy: how old is your baby now? >> my baby is 6 weeks old now. >> jimmy: oh. [ applause ] you know what? congratulations. it could be, i don't know, could be confusing to her, put this cutout in the room, maybe she'll sleep all night, who knows? >> yeah, that would make me feel horrible, if i was making an

exciting expression and it made her go to sleep. >> jimmy: it would be weird. have you been in l.a. for the whole lockdown? >> not the whole lockdown. we decided -- we kind of went back and forth, should we stay here, should we drive back to massachusetts? in kind of emergency mode, we threw our stuff in the car and we drove cross-country, you know, at the middle end of march, right at the l.a. lockdown. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you stop? did you go into hotels? were things open along the way? >> let me tell you something. we did not really -- we tried to -- we stop when we had to, but it was very reminiscent of one of my favorite new stories of all time, which is when a woman, an astronaut, wore diapers to drive across the country in order to try to kill someone. >> jimmy: i recall that, yes. [ laughter ] allegedly.

>> allegedly. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i absolutely love that story, true romance. [ laughter ] i love astronauts. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i think it's so funny that she wore the diaper also because she still had to fill up the gas. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> of the car, you know? she still has to get out, it's weird she didn't just go to the bathroom then. >> jimmy: yeah. you're right. they do have the pump. you could clip it in, you could head to the bathroom. >> yes, weird. >> jimmy: there's no reason for diapers. almost like there was something wrong with her. [ laughter ] >> almost, but again, you could just say it's romantic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you give your baby a special pandemic name, like astrazeneca or something like that? how do you commemorate this weird time to be born? >> we -- yeah, we should have thought more about giving her something to commemorate this distinct time in our universe. we named her ida. >> jimmy: ida. >> ida. >> jimmy: nice name, yeah.

>> baby ida. but we did -- and we don't have any family members named ida. but we did kind of look into our heritage. and my side of the family is like from all over the place. jewish people from all over the place. and one of the places they are from is eastern europe. and we were looking at some eastern european names. and we didn't go with this, but one name we were both obsessed with was spelled bagrat. and while i was pregnant, we just kept calling her bagrat. which i'm sure is not how you pronounce that, bag-rat. >> jimmy: "bog-raht." >> something more beautiful than, "hey, bag-rat, you made me throw up again." yeah. >> jimmy: was your fiance allowed in the delivery room?

are they doing that still now with all the covid going on? >> it's -- it's a really major time to have a baby right now. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> it's like, wow. we're really doing this. he was allowed in. we weren't sure how it was going to go. you know, we had our masks on and everything. and that's good. because i was making a lot of faces that i might not want him to remember, maybe, later. [ laughter ] but it was like, you know -- it was like a totally extreme experience during which i completely lost any filter that i might have already had left. and after i had the baby, it was like, the baby's out, she's here! i was just like, did my vagina rip in have? >> jimmy: what? >> is it like one vagina still or is it not? [ laughter ] he's like, eww, don't ask that,

that's not -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, you wanted to know. >> ask it a different way! yeah. it's important to know. >> jimmy: your new animated show, i know it's highly anticipated, called "the great north." it is made by the producers of the very funny show "bob's burgers." you play -- who do you play in the show? >> i play judy tobin. she's 16 years old. when we meet them in the pilot it's her 16th birthday. and as judy says, she's trading in her barrettes for berets. because she's now a mature artistic woman. >> jimmy: the great north" premieres on valentine's day. is that something you celebrate? will you be at home watching the show on valentine's day? >> i will be at home watching it. i love valentine's day. although it was almost ruined by many previous partners. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what was the worst one? worst valentine's day, or gift, or whatever.

>> worst valentine's day, other than all of the ones that came before when i didn't have a boyfriend. so, you know. the first 20 years of my life. [ laughter ] and then -- and then the worst one i tly --eal story. on valentine's day, my boyfriend at the time gave me his old and used, of course, digital camera. he gave to it me in a sock. he put it inside of a sock. >> jimmy: that's how he wrapped it? >> yeah, that was the wrapping. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> then he -- so he was like, here, happy valentine's day, here's this digital camera that i didn't even clear the card from, so like -- on it are a lot of pictures that i thought were important. then our activity during the day was to go, and he bought himself a new camera. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. >> the worst. the worst. it was the worst. >> jimmy: what a bag-rat that

is. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, i'm glad things are better now. "the great north" premieres on valentine's day, 8:30 on the fox network. jenny slate, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] congrats on the baby. great to see you. we'll be back with ashnikko! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. -go talk to him. -yeah, no. plus it's not even like he'd be into me or whatever. ♪ ♪ this could be ♪ hi. you just moved in, right? i would love to tell you about all the great savings you can get for bundling your renter's and car insurance with progressive. -oh, i was just -- -oh, tammy. i found your retainer in the dryer. ♪

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: welcome back. this is her debut, it is called "demidevil." with the song "daisy," ashnikko. ♪ ♪ you don't wanna see me bratty pet the kitty call me catty ♪ ♪ make your man call me daddy he talk too much he's too chatty ♪ ♪ ceo i'm savvy respect a --- i'm a maverick ♪ ♪ flexible, so elastic but don't you dare

bend a girl backwards a princess i'm a king ♪ ♪ bow down and kiss on my ring being a --- is my kink ♪ did you think i'm a princess i'm a king bow down and ♪ ♪ kiss on my ring it's gonna hurt it'll sting spitting up blood ♪ ♪ in the sink i'm crazy but you like that i bite back daisies on your nightstand ♪ ♪ never forget it blossom in the moonlight screw eyes glacial with the blue ice ♪ ♪ i'm terrifying i'm no cindere ♪ i'm choosey long blue hair blue as a bruise only trust a fella ♪ ♪ for some light amusement i'm no prey but i am pursued pray for me, nana ♪ ♪ on the church's pews can confuse me whiskey in my hip flask ♪ ♪ nothing fruity i'm not a princess i'm a king bow down and ♪ ♪ kiss on my ring being -- is my kink what else did you think ♪

♪ i'm not a princess i'm a king bow down and kiss on my ring ♪ ♪ it's gonna hurt it'll sting spitting up blood in the sink ♪ ♪ i'm crazy but you like that i bite back daisies on your nightstand ♪ ♪ never forget it blossom in the moonlight glacial with the blue ice ♪ ♪ i'm terrifying i'm crazy but you like that i bite back ♪ ♪ daisies on your nightstand never forget it blossom in the moonlight screw eyes ♪ ♪ glacial with the blue ice i'm terrifying la, la, la la, la, la ♪ ♪ la, la, la la♪ la, la, la la, la i'm terrifying ♪ ♪ ♪

>> jimmy: i want to thank magic, thanks to jenny slate and ashnikko too, apologies to matt damon. he stinks.

"nightline" is next. thank you for watching. and until tomorrow, i wish you a very good night. tonight, stunning allegations. former nfl players accusing the league of discriminating against black players seeking compensation through its concussion settlement program. >> i'm looked at differently, and it pisses me off. >> losing a formula where black players start at a lower cognitive level than white players. >> that's literally the definition of systematic racism. >> now the abc news investigation, the two players accusing the league of using a double standard. >> it was no white or black thing. we lost together, we won together. >> and what the league is saying tonight. this special edition of "nightline," "blind-sided," will be right bac