for sandhya patel, larry beal, all of us here, we appreciate your time. right now, >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, bette midler, eiza gonzález, and music from florida georgia line. and now jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. hello, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us after the long, and in many places, cold holiday weekend. if you resisted the urge to post "be my quarantine," congratulations. [ laughter ] we had a low-key valentine's day this year. you know, usually i'll ride up on a horse. with no shirt on, like fabio. [ laughter ] a single red rose in my teeth. this year, there was none of that. i did get a valentine's day gift from my mother this year. [ laughter ] that's right. my mother gave me -- she gave me

and my wife a card, she wrote a card. and in the card was $200 cash. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] like a common prostitute, she gave me cash. [ laughter ] so i texted her, put up the text. "thanks for the gift slash monologue topic." she wrote back, "i despise you." [ laughter ] which i know isn't true because she just gave me 200 bucks. [ laughter ] what did your mother -- did your mother give you a gift for valentine's day? >> guillermo: she gave me $100. >> jimmy: she gave you money? >> guillermo: every year. >> jimmy: is this a thing now? >> guillermo: i guess. >> jimmy: every year? >> guillermo: $100 every year. >> jimmy: do you take it? >> guillermo: i do take it, but i give it back to her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at what age should parents stop giving their children valentine's day gifts? is it above or below 53? [ laughter ] i'm asking for a friend. meanwhile, my wife -- did your

wife give you anything? >> guillermo: uh -- >> jimmy: oh, she did. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, she did, she did. >> jimmy: all right, all right, you animal. my wife gave me a blank t-shirt and a wooden spoon, then fell asleep on the crouch. [ laughter ] if you are watching us from home right now the good news is you have power. you know the phrase "when hell freezes over"? we're getting close. we're getting real close. this morning was the coldest in decades for dallas, houston, san antonio, and little rock. in new orleans they had the coldest fat tuesday in more than a hundred years. people on the streets were putting their tops on. [ laughter ] again, we miss the drummer. they had to cancel the mardi gras parades this year. because last year's festivities turned into a superspreader event. it was right at the beginning of the virus. this was the scene on bourbon street today where there was no bourbon to be had. >> no one out here in the french

quarter on bourbon street. again, i never thought i would see bourbon street empty like this. john, you mentioned earlier the only time you see this many cop cars in the french quarter is for breaking news. well, breaking news? there's nobody in the french quarter on mardi gras day in 2021. >> jimmy: all right. well, there is that guy. there are a few people. it's "girls gone home" in new orleans. [ laughter ] it's all very sad. they were supposed to have fun in '21 but i guess that hasn't started yet. there were revelers in west palm beach. a presidents' day parade for trump outside mar-a-lardo. [ laughter ] the trump rambo flags were flying. hundreds of maskless supporters showed up to stand by their man. and sure enough on his way to the golf course he'd never let them join, the former president gave his fans a wave and two little thumbs up. somebody even hired a plane with a banner that says "trump, best

president ever, heart," to cheer the big guy on and celebrate his unimpeachment. what a thing to celebrate. but of course, they did. much of the trump family took a victory lap after the senate vote on saturday, including eric, who tweeted "2-0." there he goes bragging about his grade point average again. [ laughter ] trump put together a real dream team of attorneys to represent him on this one. one of the standouts was michael van der veen, a personal injury attorney, for real. this is the guy who was like, did you slip and fall? call me. he also sued donald trump last year for some claims about mail-in voting in pennsylvania. but he stole the show on saturday. at one point, the senate showed a rare moment of unity when they joined together to laugh at him. >> none of these depositions should be done by zoom. we didn't do this hearing by zoom! these depositions should be done in person, in my office, in

philadelph philadelphia. that's where they should be done. i don't know how many civil lawyers are here, but that's the way it works, folks. >> jimmy: how dare you laugh at my hilarious lawyering! [ laughter ] and as bad as he was,he wasn't even the worst of the bunch. that honor went to bruce castor jr. who made the case but, for, and against his clint. >> to answer the question of the house manager, does anybody believe this would have occurred but for the speech from donald trump? i do. >> jimmy: well. i now pronounce you and donald trump husband and wife. [ laughter ] castor got a lot of heat after his less-than-stellar performance. especially his opening argument which he attempted to explain to sean hannity. >> but what happened to me at the beginning of the case was based on dishonesty. we had an order from the united states senate saying the first two hours of the argument were to be on the issue of

jurisdiction. the house managers ignored these instructions from the senate and just went down this emotional tirade, and all these things that had put us in just an awful position, and we were unable to use our prepared response. the only thing that was available were my notes for the opening. i was to give the following day which i hadn't typed up yet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he hadn't typed up his notes yet. by the way, it's really an accomplishment to be donald trump's worst lawyer, when his last lawyer got caught playing salami karate with borat's daughter. [ laughter ] [ applause ] rudy is no longer trump's attorney, that was announced today. mitch mcconnell tried to have it both ways this weekend. after voting to acquit, mcconnell gave a blistering speech condemning trump's actions and inaction. basically saying, "donald trump is guilty of all the things i just found him not guilty of." >> president trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of the day.

[ laughter ] but in this case, the question is moot. because former president trump is constitutionally not eligible for conviction. >> jimmy: it was the tortoise versus the crazy yellow "hare." trump fired back today with a long statement because he's not allowed to tweet. he's asked to write letters. he wrote, "the republican party can never again be respected or strong with political leaders like senator mitch mcconnell at its helm. in 2020, i received the most votes of any sitting president in history, almost 75 million." that had nothing to do with anything. "mitch mcconnell begged for my strong support and endorsement. without my endorsement, he would have lost, and lost badly. mitch is a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack, and if republican senators are going to stay with him, they will not win again." unsmiling. [ laughter ] has donald trump met his wife? melania hasn't smiled since 2011. [ applause ] it was a seven paragraph

statement. there were only three paragraphs in the gettysburg address. i have to say, i think mcconnell blew it. this was his party's best chance to make sure trump never ran again. you remember the end of "lord of the rings" when frodo brought the ring all the way to the volcano and then decided to not throw it in? this was like a dumb version of that. [ laughter ] even so, it was the most bipartisan impeachment vote ever, 57-43. seven republican senators voted to convict. burr, collins, romney, toomey, murkowski, cassidy, and sasse. and now they're paying a price for it at home. the chairman of the washington county, pennsylvania, republican party was furious at his senator, pat toomey. >> we sent him to washington to represent our interests. he's our representative in washington. we did not send him there to vote his conscience. we did not send him there to do the right thing or whatever. >> jimmy: that's right. [ laughter ] we didn't send him there to do the right thing! we hate the right thing!

and if pat toomey don't have the guts to not stand up for what he believes in, by god, we'll find someone who doesn't! [ laughter ] several senators have been censured and adam kinzinger, one of the ten republicans who voted to impeach trump in the house, not only was he censured by his party in illinois, he got an angry letter from his own family. his cousin wrote, "oh my, what a disappointment you are to us and to god, we were once so proud of your accomplishments, instead you go against your christian principles and join the devil's army. you should be very proud you've lost the respect of lou dobbs, tucker carlson, sean hannity." that i agree with, he should be proud. [ laughter ] sorry, adam, you lost the respect of lou dobbs. like racially integrated diners and the beatles when they grew their hair long, lou dobbs now respects you.

"it is now most embarrassing to us that we are related to you. you have embarrassed the kinzinger family name!" well, adam, for whatever its worth my family is proud of you. [ cheers and applause ] and my mother gives out cash for valentine's day. by the way, the cousin who sent that letter? her name is no joke -- do you want to guess what her name is? that's right, care. cousin karen. [ laughter ] cousin karen says he's a disappointment. this is what joe biden was up to this weekend are he was at camp david playing mario cart with his granddaughter. that's why luigi is in the full lane with the blinker on. who installed the full-sized mario machine? is this camp david in busters? what's going on there? [ laughter ] according to a new poll, a majority of americans say donald trump should not be able to hold office again. with any luck, one day we'll choose a system based on what most of america wants. another poll says a stunning 63% of republicans would like the option of a third party. dozens of former republican officials are hashing out plans

to form a third party based on what they call "principled conservatism." listen, if they want to start a party donald trump won't join, just call it "eric's birthday party." [ laughter ] and while historically third-parties last about as long as a new year's resolution in this case they are organized, well-funded, and they even put out a campaign ad. >> the republican party has changed a lot in the last four years. >> i'm president, hey, i'm president! do you believe it, right? >> in ways that real conservatives just can't abide. >> president trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of the day. >> it's time for something new. it's time for a truly conservative party. made up of americans who don't like the name-calling. americans with principle. republican values. we don't believe in health care

for all. but we do believe everyone has the right to a nice, firm handshake. we will never lie to you. and we will never fight for more than a minimum wage. we will always wish you well as we evict you. and if you're not religious, we'll pray for your soul while it burns in hell. the conservative party. everything's going to be "all white." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: somebody print up some hats. this week is random acts of kindness week. i thought it would be kind and random to call my aunt chippy. my aunt chippy got her first dose of the vaccine a couple of weeks ago. and she is scheduled for number two coming up next week. i think monday she's scheduled for number two. so i'm going to pretend to be calling from the vaccination center. and the camera in her house is on? okay, good, all right. you ready to do this? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy, i

cannot wait. >> jimmy: all right, i'm dialing her house now. here we go. here she is. [ phone ringing ] >> hello? >> jimmy: hello, may i speak to mrs. potenza, please? >> who's calling? >> jimmy: this is tom, i'm calling from the vaccination center, convention center? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: is this con-keta? >> conchetta. >> jimmy: i was calling to confirm you will be coming to the convention center tomorrow at 3:30? >> no, not tomorrow. the 23rd. of february. >> jimmy: oh, the 23rd. okay. well, okay. >> 23rd. the 23rd at 3:30. >> jimmy: we just have a few

questions -- >> don't change it, don't start changing everything! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: could you like us to change it? >> no, just leave it alone. >> jimmy: we can change it, we can push it back. >> no, i don't want you pushing back. i don't want you pushing ahead. i don't want you to push at all. [ laughter ] you want to push? go on the subway and push. leave it alone. >> jimmy: very good. you were given the moderna vaccination? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. and i was wondering, i want to go through a couple of common side effects to see if you've experienced any of them. this is all part of the process that we go through here. have you had any sniffles? >> no. >> jimmy: aches? >> no. >> jimmy: have you had fever? >> no. >> jimmy: itchy ear lobes? >> i haven't had anything. >> jimmy: would you say -- >> nothing. >> jimmy: -- your libido has increased since getting the vaccination? [ laughter ] >> jimmy, this is you, you little bastard?

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: excuse me? >> jimmy, is this you? >> jimmy: excuse me? >> i'll sue your ass. >> jimmy: it sounds like this vaccine is making you irritable. >> jimmy, though didn't ask that kind of question. they're asking to see if i'm going to be dead or not. >> jimmy: have you had any facial hair growth, any abnormal moustache, beard -- >> my ass. i got it going. what do you want? >> jimmy: what do you mean, what do i want? it's a crank call, what do i want? i don't want anything, i'm just making a crank call, what's wrong with you? [ laughter and applause ] >> i thought you outgrew this [ bleep ]. you have a talk show. the people you have on the show, i'm watching it, it's a good show. >> jimmy: can i interest you a three-night stay in the golden nugget casino? >> no, thank you. no, thank you. >> jimmy: okay, all right. i love you. >> i love you too. thank you for calling. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] good luck with the vaccine.

>> okay, thanks. >> jimmy: it's tomorrow at 2:30. >> your ass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you laughing at my ass? >> guillermo: a little bit. >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. eiza gonzalez is here. we have music from florida georgia line. and we'll be right back with bette midler. ah, great, the show's starting. urgh. come on, just trust me. oh, trust you. like with the dollar oysters? i don't think those were oysters. you survived, so... wait, we can't go that way. watch this, they'll think we're vip. wow, he does think we're vip. and backstage! trust me now? i never doubted you. i did for a second, but that's gone now, i trust you. the all-new sienna. toyota. let's go places. doritos 3d are back! what!?

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight from the new movie "i care a lot" eiza gonzalez will be here in studio. and later, from nashville, this is their album "life rolls on." music from florida georgia line. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is a real live legend with two tonys, three grammys, three emmys, and

four golden globes in her breakfast nook, and a new children's book. "the tale of the mandarin duck" is available now. please welcome bette midler! hi, bette, how are you? it's great to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much. it's great to see you too. >> jimmy: are you at home, are you residing at home right now? >> i am in a home. i know. i'm in a house upstate. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> a little bit outside of new york city. >> jimmy: have you been vaccinated? >> i have. i have, i had both shots. >> jimmy: you've had both, great, excellent. do you feel okay? do you have any side effects or anything like that? >> i had my arm hurt a titleny little bit, and i was a litigate tired a couple of days, but i'm always tired. i feel fine and i'm very relieved, incredibly relieved. just incredibly relieved. i'm feeling like i can do anything, but of course i can't. >> jimmy: how long do you have to wait after the second shot before you feel like you're fully vaccinated?

>> i have the pfizer, and it's a two-week wait. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? are you going to go crazy, just head out, start traveling and doing things? >> have tons of anonymous sex! >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> actually, i have no idea. i have no idea. it's so strange. the whole last few years have been so bizarre. and i feel that there's a kind of a pall over all of us. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i don't exactly know when i'm going to recover from that. it's going to -- i'm just working my way through it now. the pandemic is the least of it, you know? i don't mean to say -- i don't mean to put anybody down or make anybody feel lesser than. the whole thing is such a nightmare. it's been like this for years. >> jimmy: yeah. >> in a funny way, i feel like a war, part of a battle has ended, but we're still in a war. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's weird. >> jimmy: it could have been worse. [ laughter ] >> could have been.

could have been worse. >> jimmy: what have you been doing? how have you been keeping busy? what do you do every day? >> well, do i have a regimen? you know, i did -- i was actually kind of surprised at how busy i was. i did a ton of benefits. i did a thing for hbo. i wrote a book, or rather, i helped edit a book. >> jimmy: right. >> this book that's just coming out. i did a lot. i was surprised. i tried to stay -- my daughter got married, that was big. >> jimmy: your daughter got married. [ cheers and applause ] i would imagine it wasn't necessarily the way you guys expected. how many people were at the wedding? >> ten people. >> jimmy: ten people. >> 11 people. 11 people. >> jimmy: 11 people. >> i won't cut anybody out. >> jimmy: in a way, i don't know, i feel like in a way you could say maybe you got lucky a little bit, having an 11-person wedding. [ laughter ] did you guys pitch in and do all the wedding stuff yourselves as a family? >> yes, we did. yes, we did. they came in and they said they had some news for us. i'm thinking, she's pregnant.

it wasn't that. she said they had decided they were going to get married. of course we were over the moon. then we started talking about it. we divided it up. my husband did the food. i did the flowers. they asked their friends to join the universal life and become ministers, and they wrote their own vows. it was so sweet. it was so sweet. and to tell you the truth, my wedding was two people. my husband and me. and of course the elvis impersonator that married us. [ laughter ] we eloped to vegas. and so we had nobono and she had, you know, ten friends. so i think, actually -- i think they were both wonderful weddings, but she was over the moon. because, you know, she's been to 50 weddings. more than 50 weddings. maybe 150 weddings. >> jimmy: wow. >> you know, that's a thing with kids. they go on these -- they make these plans, they get married in the water, they get married in

an airplane, they jump out the window. i mean, it's just crazy what they do. [ laughter ] and she didn't want to do that. she just wanted to have, you know -- be civilized. and they had a great time. they just had a great time. stayed up all night, drank, they had a ball. >> jimmy: you got married in -- what year was it you got married in vegas? >> i was married in 1984. >> jimmy: oh, boy. i was living probably within miles of where you got married in 1984. was it like a spur of the moment-type of vegas wedding? >> yes. >> jimmy: it was. >> yes, it was. yes, it was. i asked him. >> jimmy: what time did you get married? >> we -- well, i'll tell you what happened. we went around -- he got all dressed up in this suit. i'm not getting married with you, i'm not marrying you in that suit! so he had to change. he had to change his suit. then we went to the -- one of the little churches. we went to get the license. and when we got to the license, to the civil ceremony, it was a girl there, and there was a

whole other family. there was the boy, then his family. and she didn't have anybody, and she was sobbing her eyes out. she was miserable. she didn't look like she wanted to get married at all. we turned around and went out the door. we didn't want to be part of that. so then we came back. and we did the civil thing. then we went to the -- not the church of heavenly rest. the starlight chapel. i simply went to the starlight chapel. there were a few chapels around vegas, you know that, you grew up there. >> jimmy: sure. still are. >> and he was -- we had nino rota, a tape from julio the spirits, and we walked down the aisle. the elvis impersonator did the ceremony. then we walked out. the funny thing is there were no cell phones in 1984. we had no pictures. but apparently there was a photographer there. and when the starlight chapel closed its doors, which is about five years ago, they sent us the

pictures. we've never seen the pictures. >> jimmy: you didn't buy the package at the end of the deal? [ laughter ] >> are you kidding? >> jimmy: we have those photographs, i believe. [ cheers and applause ] there's you and your husband in the suit you made him change into. >> yeah, yeah, yes. well, the other suit was a little, you know -- a little, what's the name -- harold -- what's the name of that character in "music man"? a little bit like that. >> jimmy: you're asking the absolute worst person. [ laughter ] >> please. well, i used to know, but i don't know anything anymore. i have covid brain. i just don't remember anything. >> jimmy: did you sing at your daughter's wedding? >> oh, she wouldn't have me sing. >> jimmy: really? >> oh my god, she spent the first five years of her life saying, "mommy, don't sing." [ laughter ] i got the picture. now we kind of sing together, but our harmonies are a little bit -- a little bit wonky. i'm like -- i don't have the

notes that i once had. >> jimmy: well -- >> we love it. >> jimmy: if only you had any songs that were appropriate for weddings. [ laughter ] >> oh, really? >> jimmy: i think you sang at all our family weddings, you just don't realize it. when we come back, we'll meet the duck. bette midler is with us, this is her book, "the tale of the mandarin duck." we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by tubi, the streaming service that brings you your favorite movies and shows for free. (daughter) daddy! (dad vo) she's safe because of our first outback. and our new one's even safer. (vo) welcome to the 2020 subaru outback. an iihs top safety pick+. the highest level of safety you can earn. (vo) get 0% for 63 months on select new 2021 models.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. eiza gonzalez and music from florida georgia line are coming up. bette midler is with us. she is the author of this new book for kids called "the tale of the mandarin duck, a modern fable." i know this is a weird thing, but this is based on a real duck, yeah? >> yeah, it's a true so story. well, not exactly, it's a fable. but that's a real bird. that duck actually exists in nature. i had never seen it. >> jimmy: this is a beautiful duck, i have to say. i mean, i've never seen -- it looks like it made it with a parrot or something like that. and this is a real species of duck, the mandarin duck? >> they're very well known in the east, in the far east, having great status, they're considered very lucky. and there's never been one here. nobody knows where he came from. he had a tag, but he's a

mysterious duck. no one came forward to claim him. no zoo ever said it was their duck and no human said, that's my duck. so he was quite mysterious. then one day he flew away. but first he brought an entire city to the central park pond to watch him display his colors. >> jimmy: no wonder he left. i guess that makes sense, he's like, what are all these people staring at me for? did you go to watch did you see the duck in person? >> i believe i was working in vegas. >> jimmy: you were not there, okay, all right. the duck was short-lived in central park, but now lives forever in this children's book. you were inspired by the duck to write this book? >> well, a friend of mine, i went to thanksgiving dinner and my dinner partner was a girl that i knew but i didn't know she was a birder. she said, you know, i lovebirds, i go to the park every day, i photograph birds. i said, what'd you see? she told me that she had -- she

had been documenting this mandarin duck, had i seen it? i had seen in the paper, they had talked about it as being a phenomenon. she showed me the bird on the phone. and i was absolutely knocked out. knocked out. i'd never seen a bird like it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she said, i'd love to write a children's book, but i hate writing. so i said, oh, i like to write, i'll write it for you. and i went home and i kind of banged it out. you know. that night. because it was -- it really spoke to me. i have to say, the line drawings are fantastic. i know you did your own line drawings for your own. >> jimmy: i wrote about a goose instead of a duck, but i think we're in the same general neighborhood together. [ laughter ] >> yes, we are, we both lovebirds. but you can really draw, i can't draw at all. >> jimmy: thank you, bette. you know what? i can't sing. [ laughter ] or do anything, really. hey, bette. i do want to ask you about something. because i have this "rolling stone" magazine. you were on the cover.

this is when "rolling stone" was printed on news print. this is 48 years ago this week, you were on the cover of "rolling stone." in it you talk about watching yourself on "the tonight show with johnny carson." i wonder, do you remember much about that, about that particular first time you were on johnny carson? >> you know -- there were several things about johnny carson. >> jimmy: okay. >> i went to the audition. the first time i had an audition, i was wearing vintage clothes. i got out of the car, and my dress ripped all the way across my butt. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> i said to my manager, who will be nameless, oh my god, my dress is ripped, let me have -- let me have -- what did i ask him for? let me have your jacket to hide my pant tizz. he said, i can't go into "the tonight show" without a jacket. i said, what about my ass? [ laughter ] anyway, he wouldn't give me the jacket. and i went into the ladies' room, and i asked a girl, she had a safety pin.

there were no safety pins. i took a paper clip and i sort of stitched my dress together. by the time i got off of that audition, i was so angry that i gave the audition life. i mean, i was bigger than life. i was giant. i was -- i really gave it my all. i was livid. so i got the gig. i got the gig. [ applause ] and the first i went, i didn't wear a bra, and i think i was bouncing up and down. this was a scandal. this was a big scandal. i think that's what it was. >> jimmy: wow. >> it was a big -- a big scandal. but he asked me back. >> jimmy: and you fired the manager, i assume? >> actually -- actually, i didn't. [ laughter ] later i fired the manager. >> jimmy: okay. it's really wonderful to have you. "the tale of the mandarin duck" is the book. it's available now. miss bette midler, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, great to see you. we'll be back with ace intra

go eiza gonzales!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello there, welcome back. music from florida georgia line is on the way. our next guest is one of mexico's many wonderful gifts to their friends up north. you know her from "baby driver," "hobbs & shaw," and starting friday, the new netflix movie "i care a lot." please welcome eiza gonzalez.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? welcome, please. thanks for coming in. >> thank you for having me. i'm officially seeing you more than i've seen my own family in this pandemic. >> jimmy: is that true? >> you were the last person i saw right before the shutdown of the pandemic. >> jimmy: really? >> i've seen you more than i've seen my entire family. >> jimmy: your mom was here with you the last time you were here, which was the middle of march, as you said, right before the pandemic. she was visiting from mexico city? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did she get back home, or did she get stuck here at the time? >> no, she got stuck here. >> jimmy: she got stuck. >> for seven months. [ laughter ] it was crazy. because my mother is a tradition now to come see you, because she cares about you. she doesn't care about me, she cares about you. [ laughter ] you made her famous, too.

she's questioned at airplanes and stuff. she's like, i'm going to come and be famous. [ laughter ] she just came to see you. i was here, she just came with a carry-on. she's like, i'm coming for four days for the premiere. then she stayed for seven months and the pandemic, which was wild. [ laughter ] living with your mother again at 30 isn't the greatest. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how much did your mother give you for valentine's day? [ laughter ] >> my mother isn't as nice as your mother. i have a mexican mother. she threw me a chuncla. just kidding. >> jimmy: you have a mexican mother. >> guillermo: she gave me $100. >> that's better than my mom has ever given me. >> guillermo: oh my god. >> my mom is real sweet, she's great. >> jimmy: i can understand that, you expect her to be here for four days, then it's seven months. it might be difficult. what was the most difficult part of being with your mom for seven months? >> well, the thing is, it was really funny. it eventually became, like

living with your mother at 15, now 30. it was reversing roles, which is really fun, i've got to say. now she lives at my home. >> jimmy: i see. >> which is great. it's this power dynamic change, really. it was really fun for me. [ laughter ] she'd be like, i'm going to -- i'm like, you cannot leave this home. she's like what do you mean? you are in the third age, you are high risk. she's like, now i feel like a child, like this is completely how you -- and i was like, you treated me like this for 15 years, i get to take that away from you. >> jimmy: my roof, my rules. >> i haven't lived with my mother since i was 15. i left mexico and my home pretty young. it was really interesting because now, imagine seven months of quarantine. you're trying to live a normal life. and, like, dating was hard. can you -- like i had to sneak out of my house. my own house. to see someone i like. >> jimmy: why did you have to sneak? because you mom didn't want you going out? >> she'd be like, who are you

with? are they being covid safe? >> jimmy: right. >> all these new questions. like, yes, mom. i can do whatever i want, this is my house! it's complicated. >> jimmy: mom's back home in mexico? >> she is back home. she was over it. she was over being a child with me. >> jimmy: i see. >> but i really abused it, which was fun. and she was okay with it. i think she deserved it. and she's back home, which is sad. but you know. i'm happy that she's safe. covid safe. it's been really good. i honestly enjoyed being with my mother for a long time. >> jimmy: covid safe, yes. safe i'm not sure about. you posted this video to instagram. let's roll that video. you on a bike. someone is filming you on the bike. you were posing on the bicycle. >> oh god. >> jimmy: then you're off the bicycle. all of a sudden you are now not on the bicycle anymore. why was that happening in the first place? >> well, let me explain myself. >> jimmy: okay. >> so basically this is a perfect display of how basic i

can be. and i think that was -- it was important to put on screen because i was just enjoying a nice little bike ride. and i swear i know how to ride a bike, i promise. [ laughter ] i've done this before. i do harder things, like driving. >> jimmy: a car, yes. >> a car, a real car. >> jimmy: yeah. >> even though that doesn't seem like i can do it really well. i was enjoying my afternoon with best friend dave, oh, she looks like she's having a good time, started taking video. you can see i realize someone's taking a video of me, so i want to feel myself. then i have this cute little cherry hat, oh, i'm going to model this. then i realized i pulled it a little bit too low so i couldn't see the road. but you see it there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i really committed, and i committed and couldn't grab the handle, because i couldn't see it. then i looked in between that little space and i saw a car. then it just went -- you know. >> jimmy: dave's lucky he wasn't

killed videotaping you while he was riding a bike. >> you can hear him very concerned, "oh, no!" which is really funny because i would have laughed my butt off. >> jimmy: at dave yeah. you did seem to land on body your feed. >> yeah, like a cat. you can see i got a little bruised. >> you did. that's not a little bruise. >> there's a massive bruise on my knee. there you go. >> jimmy: yeah. >> don't ride a bike and take videos of yourself for instagram, it's not worth it. >> jimmy: don't ever exercise, really, is the message. >> truly that really helps too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are in this movie. i saw the movie today. it was a lot of fun to watch. i was surprised to learn that it's based on a true story. because the subject matter is this couple, these women. one of them especially is swindling old people out of their money. >> yeah. my wife. >> jimmy: yes, your wife. >> who you're going to be with tomorrow, which i'm really excited. >> well, we'll be talking, yeah. [ laughter ] >> not physically. not "be with" my wife. please. >> jimmy: this is like -- this is something that went on, goes

on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and can we say the other part of it or not? >> i think it's important. i think this is a movie that brings awareness to a conversation that i think is trending because of the britney documentary, conservatorship and how we manage elderly -- >> jimmy: older people who are in a conservatorship. >> the system is built in a way, if you find the loopholes, you are not technically breaking the law, but you're getting a way with breaking the system. it's a dark satire. but it's ultimately bringing this subject matter up to awareness to people that i don't think is in constant conversation in a really fun way, because the conversation is already dark itself. >> jimmy: so you're saying if people watch this they'll learn how to swindle old people too? >> oh, sure. [ laughter ] that as well. i mean, i guess. i mean, and that's so funny, because there's this really funny line about how we treat older people with certain respect just because they're

older. and this movie just deals with the characters and anti-heroes in such a smart way that we don't have to root for people because they're old or this or that, that we're all inherently bad. i love that it gains with people, you're inherently bad. if you accept it -- the starts with that line. "look at you sitting there thinking you're a good person, you're not." i think that's ultimately how we conduct society, and more than ever we're like, yeah, this is who we are. >> jimmy: do you think we're inherently bad? >> i do, go. [ laughter ] i i think we like to believe we're not, you know? it's better if we just accept it. we're inherently bad and good and we're no heroes and that's okay. >> jimmy: i gotcha, all right, all right. i was going to say, a cynical way of looking at life. but that's the way to look at it. the movie "i care a lot" premieres friday on netflix. is intra gonzalez. be right back with florida georgia line. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: welcome back. the album is called "life rolls on." from nashville with the song "long live," florida georgia line! ♪ ♪ ♪ oh yeah let's go ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah it's a friday night we circled up it's going down 'round these pickup trucks ♪ ♪ yeah it's cold cans and dixie cups just out here doin' what we've always done ♪ ♪ long live all the small towners sunup to sundowners that old school ♪ ♪ haggard and hank long live longneck bottles and wide-open throttles and old dirt ♪ ♪ roads with no name

long live them country girls long legs and cut-up jeans long live this ♪ ♪ way of life long live nights like these long live long live long live ♪ ♪ long live nights like these long live the walmart parking lot ♪ ♪ turning to the midnight party spot long live hard work when it pays off ♪ ♪ and living it up on your days off long live all the small towners ♪ ♪ sunup to sundowners that old school haggard and hank long live longneck bottles ♪ ♪ and wide-open throttles and old dirt roads with no name long live them ♪ ♪ country girls long legs and cut-up jeans long live this way of life long live nights ♪ ♪ like these ♪

♪ ♪ long live them gorily days on them back forty days all them pass it 'round ♪ ♪ pass it down story days long live all the small towners sunup to sundowners ♪ ♪ that old school haggard and hank long live longneck bottles and wide-open throttles ♪ ♪ and old dirt roads with no name long live them country girls long legs ♪ ♪ and cut-up jeans long live this way of life long live nights like these ♪ ♪ long live long live long live long live nights like these ♪

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\s ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, the reckoning of a former president acquitted of inciting a failed insurrection. inside the political trial of the century. now the rare interviews. >> what a terrible day that our capitol was brought down to the depths of hell by donald trump. >> how prosecutors and trump's defense team fought a contentious impeachment battle. >> you'd have to really be pretty thick in the head to have watched donald j. trump over the past five years and think that he would ever condone any aspect of mob violence. and bringing the crown jewel of paris back to life. >> this is the work under way. >> behind the scenes of the restoration of the famed notre dame cathedral after that fir