that's our report. we appreciate your time. >> jimm >> dicky: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight -- ray romano. romany malco. ken burns. and music from nessa barrett and jxdn featuring travis barker. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, hello, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching our show. thanks for remaining conscious or semiconscious, whichever it is. hey, you know what? we got some good news for a change. as the president, biden announced that, by april 19th, every adult in the country will be eligible to get the vaccine. [ cheers and applause ] you get a shot and you get a shot and you get a shot! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, president joe-prah! [ laughter ] i have to say, this is going to be a solid plan. get vaxxed on 4/19.

then you smoke it up on 4/20. [ cheers and applause ] the timing is beautiful. this vaccine is like losing your virginity. one of your friends does it, tells you all about it. it's exciting. then another one does. tells you what it's like. then the months go by, and all of a sudden you realize you're the only person you know who hasn't been poked. [ laughter ] you start imagining it all the time, wondering when. maybe you get so desperate, you're willing to pay for it. [ laughter ] i guess what i'm trying to say is, this is not my first rodeo. i've been here before. [ applause ] every day, it seems like we learn something new that makes some of our behavior over the past year seem ridiculous. the cdc now says the risk of getting the virus from a surface that is contaminated with covid is less than 1 in 10,000. in other words, that guy at your office with the big jug of germicide spray? he's fired. [ laughter ] you'll never see him again.

and all those clorox disinfectant wipes we hoarded? the cdc says they are no better than regular soap. we should have known. look at lysol. the word “lie” is right there in the name! [ laughter ] so i guess that means we can get back to licking shopping carts again. [ laughter ] here in california, our governor, gavin newsom, says we now have the lowest positivity rate in the country. after having the highest positivity rate. and the plan is to have the state totally re-opened by june 15th. that's the good news for governor newsom. the bad news is he may have a high-profile challenger in the recall election. none other than caitlyn jenner. the olympic gold medalist is said to be actively exploring a run for governor. well, you know what? if anyone represents change you can believe in -- [ laughter ] it's caitlyn jenner. [ applause ] running as a republican, what's her platform going to be? banning herself from women's restrooms? [ laughter ]

jenner is working is a -- working with i guess a consultant named care line wren who is a longtime republican fundraiser who helped organize the rally trump held right before the january 6th attack on the capitol. so, she's in good hands. maybe caitlyn and arnold can team up together to form governor schwarzen-jenner. [ laughter ] that would really be something. you know, this is historic. so we may finally have a female governor of california. and it's caitlyn jenner. [ laughter ] keep your fingers crossed. the department of health and human services came up with a creative way to get people excited about covid safety. they're hosting a competition called the “mask innovation challenge.” this is a contest, anyone can enter. enter your mask idea or design. the winners get to split a cash prize of $400,000. they've basically turned the government into an episode of “project runway.” [ laughter ] $400,000 is a lot of money. and so we got to work to try to win it.

and here it is, the winning mask idea. ladies and gentlemen -- allow me to present -- the mask shirt! [ cheers and applause ] very bazooka joe. you don't ever have to put your mask on, because you're already wearing the mask at all times. [ laughter ] how does it feel, guillermo? >> guillermo: great. >> jimmy: do you feel safe from covid? >> guillermo: very safe, jimmy. >> jimmy: you heard it. make the check out to “james c. kimmel.” [ laughter and applause ] i have to say, i love this contest. the best ideas always come about a year too late. [ laughter ] you could also wear it upside down. it could be underpants too, right? >> guillermo: yeah, yeah, i think you're right, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, you can take that down now. colorado has a fun contest going on. the state of colorado is auctioning off marijuana-themed license plates. they're personalized plates. the proceeds go to charity. and the plates have pot-related words on them, like “hemp” and “ganja.” two of the offerings.

[ laughter ] this is the auction that finally answers the question, how baked do you have to be to bid $8,000 on a license plate that says "bong" on it? they really will go to the highest bidder. [ laughter ] there are only 14 plates available. it's a limited edition. most of the words make sense, like “indica,” “sativa.” but then there's this one. one of the words is "happy." really? happy is a word for drugs now? and if that's the case, who's going to tell this guy? [ laughter ] i've always suspected he was on something. we have a new national champion in college basketball for the first time in two years. baylor bested the fictitious university known as "gonzaga" to win their first-ever men's basketball title last night. they opened a spokane of whoop-ass on them. you know, i make fun of gonzaga, but they deserve a lot of credit for making it to the finals. especially when all their players look like extras from “boogie nights.” [ laughter ] gonzaga was undefeated going in.

but when they got to the end, they lost. because they had to lose. you understand they couldn't win, right? it would blow their cover. where is a school that doesn't exist supposed to put a trophy? they don't even have shelves! [ laughter ] the big cover-up continues for another year. gonzaganon! [ laughter ] it was a big day of sports for texas. besides baylor, the rangers had a home opener against the blue jays. in front of a sold-out crowd. more than 38,000 potential infectees crammed into -- look at that. they just couldn't wait to pee in a trough again. [ laughter ] it was the first sporting event in north america without crowd size restrictions. many of the fans were defiantly maskless. i like that adult men will go to a baseball stadium and wear a glove the whole game, for the 1 in 98,000 chance they might catch a foul ball. [ laughter ] but mask? no way, out of the question! [ laughter and applause ]

actually, a very clever thing. you know how they kept the virus away? they did the wave. [ laughter ] they fanned it all the way to arkansas. our former president popped up on newsmax today, where he encouraged maga-heads to boycott baseball, and warned against wokeness. and also, this is the move, now that things are going well, they can't possibly credit joe biden for turning the country around. so trump and company like to say someone else must be running the country. >> i think other people are making most of the decisions, but i may be wrong about that, i don't know. look, i don't really know him very well. but to be honest with you, somebody's making decisions. let's put it this way. bernie sanders, if he ever won, he would never have gone anywhere near this. he cannot believe what's going on. this is bernie sanders on steroids. our country's becoming a socialist nation. this is bernie sanders on steroids.

>> jimmy: bernie sanders on steroids. i wonder what that would look like? oh, right? not bad at all. [ cheers and applause ] he's feeling the burn in the gym. last night, i turned on pbs. i know, i didn't know you could still do that either. [ laughter ] i did, i turned it on. the minute i turned it on, the doorbell rang and a totebag showed up. it was unbelievable. [ laughter ] i was watching, i was watching the new ken burns documentary about ernest hemingway. have you been watching this, guillermo? >> guillermo: no, no. >> jimmy: not interested? >> guillermo: not interested at all. >> jimmy: i just noticed it says "mask shirt" on it. because we wouldn't have known from the thing, you know? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: anyway. oh, joining us now from his top-secret hideout in walpole, new hampshire, please welcome the man himself, the multi emmy award winning filmmaker ken burns. [ cheers and applause ]

>> how are you? >> jimmy: thanks for joining us. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i really enjoy -- i've been looking forward to seeing this documentary. ernest hemingway is one of those guys that you think you know almost everything about him. then to see something like this where you learn a lot about him is really amazing and surprising too. >> he's the most important american writer in the 20th century by far. but he's got this outsized mythology of the big game hunter, the deep sea fisherman, the naturalist, the brawler, the drinker, the man about town. it's really a mask that betrays a lot of vulnerability and sensitivity, and that's why his writing is so good. but we had to spend six years trying to get through that mask. >> jimmy: i was surprised to learn he was shy around women. >> yeah, in the very beginning. i think in some ways, the way he sabotaged his own four marriages and other stuff, i think he was pretty anxious about it still. he was into a kind of gender fluidity. he wanted his wives to cut their

hair short and look like boys, he would grow his hair wrong, and then -- >> jimmy: and then what? [ laughter ] >> and then they would fool around. >> jimmy: and then assume the position! >> assume the pog, exactly. we learned more than i ever imagined. and of course the writing is just so good and enduring and it will be around 1,000 years from now. >> jimmy: so many great actors participating and playing various roles, doing voice-over. are you working on a documentary about covid yet? somebody has to get on that, right? >> well, you know, we like to have perspective. philip graham, who ran "the washington post," said, journalism is the first rough draft of history. but you don't turn in a rough draft. so we need -- we used to say 20, 25 years' distance. but the way things are so fast, we need at least five or six or seven years before we can look back and try to come to terms with not just covid, but the racial reckoning, the "me too" movement, insurrection. this is as great a crisis as

we've faced as a country, along with the civil war, depression, and world war ii. >> jimmy: when you do that, if you want to use any footage of the mask shirt, or -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: -- maybe including the mask shirt it in, we'd be very, very happy to give you that gratis, free of charge, no will be no licensing fee at all. >> thank you so much, that is so kind of you. >> jimmy: ken, i know in addition to hemingway, you have another project that you're working on right now. something that's very personal to you. >> it is. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> no, it is personal to me. it's grown out of many things. >> jimmy: yes. >> you know, it means a lot to me. and thank you for thinking about that. >> jimmy: thank you for bringing us this exclusive preview of ken burns' next documentary, take a look. >> benjamin franklin once said, count on in this lifetime. can - death, taxes, and ken burns' bowl cut.

for 66 years, those words rang true. wars were won and lost. societies rose and fell. but ken burns' perky bob served as a symbol of american resilience. until 2020. when the world changed. [ laughter ] pbs and pantene prov present "hair i am." during the civil war, finneas cuthbert burns was shooting his musket when it backfired, perfectly singeing his hairline into its now-iconic shape. finneas saw it as a sign of good luck, and four generations of burns have carried his legacy on their heads. until one blustery new hampshire afternoon in the spring of 2020. >> i was watching a billy ray cyrus tiktok. and it looked like he was having so much fun with that wind-swept

hair. and i thought, i'd like to have fun with my hair too. [ laughter ] >> on july 17th of that year, ken received a letter from his barber. "dearest kenneth, my heart is made heavy by your absence these past six months. but i keep a lock of your hair as remembrance in the hope that one day you will return to me so i can place the burns family bowl back on your head and cut around it with my scissors, just as my father and grandfather did before me. "locks" of love, lou." >> coming up, ken burn faces the frizzies. >> aah! >> when "hair i am" returns. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, ken. i think that one looks like another winner. ken burns' "hemingway" airs on pbs. get the arp, watch it on tv through april 7th. all three episodes are streaming at pbs.org.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: nice. well, there you go. i thought it needed some customization. shows you how many different opportunities there are with a mask shirt. [ laughter ] tonight, from “a million little things” here on abc. romany malco is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, two tiktokers and one travis. the song is called “la dee die.” music from nessa barrett,

jaden and travis barker. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, luke bryan and katey sagal will join us. and on thursday, mark wahlberg, hunter biden, and music from the wallflowers. [ cheers and applause ] please join us for all that. our first guest is a great actor and comedian who is in love with a simple sex doll named diane in the new sci-fi comedrama “made for love.” >> need you to pay a little more respect to diane. it is what it is. she's part of the family. >> enlighten me on how this works. do you take a bite out of her food and pretend she ate it? oh -- is it ruined if i do [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: made for love" is on hbo max now.

please say hello to ray romano. [ cheers and applause ] hello, ray, how are you? >> hey, i'm good, i'm good. good to see you again, been awhile. >> jimmy: once again, ray, you did it. you're in another really great show and a weird show. a very strange show. >> of course i'm in a show. i can't -- isn't it sad that i have to -- i need the attention. [ laughter ] let me tell you something, if my father hugged me once, you would never see me again. [ laughter ] but yeah, i got a -- i fell into a good show. i'm very grateful. >> jimmy: you really did. and you play, as we just saw there, a dad who's in love with a doll. that's just a small part of the story, really. it's a whole crazy thing going on. >> yeah. yeah, there's a lot going on. you know, when my agent told me it's a show, at the end of the first episode your daughter walks in on you, you're in bed with a doll. you know, i said -- first of all, i said, "i'm in." [ laughter ]

then i said, "let me read it." they gave me seven episodes. they actually gave me seven episodes to read. and it's so much more. yeah, it's a sci-fi, it's a thriller, it's about love and divorce and a father and a daughter, and there's comedy. but there's some drama. there's some drama in there. >> jimmy: yeah, for sure. >> and there's a -- i have a synthetic partner. that's what we call him, synthetic partner. >> jimmy: did they build your synthetic partner specifically for you? or was this something that was at a prop house? >> no, they didn't have enough rubber for that. [ laughter ] the odd story is that they have to model the face after a real-life model. a woman. when they make these in real life. but now for television, you have to buy the rights to that person's face. and that's quite expensive. >> jimmy: wow. >> and they didn't have that in

the budget. so the author of the book, alyssa nunny, who wrote the book "made for love," she offered to do herself. it's her face on that doll. and she was there every day. [ applause ] it was weird. yeah. i said to her after one scene, is this weird watching you there? and she said, not as much as it should be, no. [ laughter ] yeah, but it's like she -- she's there, and she's there. >> jimmy: who do you think it's weirder for, you or her? >> i'll tell you what was weird. the very first scene is -- my daughter walks in on me. i haven't seen my daughter in ten years. and i'm in bed with the doll. i'll try and clean this up. [ laughter ] i'm under the covers. and i'm on the lower half of the bed, okay? >> jimmy: okay. >> all right. so my daughter walks in and just sees under the covers there's some -- okay. so when we filmed that, you know, when they film something

they say, rolling! then the next thing is action! so in rolling, everybody gets in position. so they said, rolling! so i got under covers. i'm under the covers. and for whatever reason, it took a little -- it took longer than normal to say action. it took almost a minute and a half. i don't know what was happening technically. for a minute and a half it was just me under the covers. and i was just there looking at the bottom half of this doll. and again, i just thought -- one hug, just one hug. [ laughter ] and i'm not in this position. but so be it. >> jimmy: speaking of your need for attention, have you been doing standup? have you been going on stage? >> i actually went on the first time at the comedy cellar last night for the first time in 14 months. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: first time in 14

months. how did that feel? >> it felt good. i was actually nervous. i've been doing standup for so long. and it was nerve-racking. again, only at 30%. my pulse rate -- i have the new -- the apple watch. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> because when you get to my age, you want to just know you're still beating, your heart's still beating. [ laughter ] my pulse rate went up. it went up, but it was fun. it was fun. >> jimmy: did you notice an actual spike in your pulse on the apple watch after you did standup? >> i did. i don't know if it was -- i've never taken my pulse after a set. but now with the -- you know, i took my pulse, my blood oxygen level, i can take an ekg right now. my pulse is probably up right now because i haven't been on a talk show in a while. [ laughter ] what do you think? what would you think it would be? >> jimmy: let's see. what would it be? maybe 85? >> it's 104. >> jimmy: oh, no!

>> yeah. but you need to get one. how old are you? you don't need to get one yet. >> jimmy: i have one. you know. >> do you? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> it's sad. i was a casio guy for the whole time. [ laughter ] i was. a casio guy my whole life, a $12 watch guy. now i have to get this and find out every -- it tells me to stand up, it's a pain in the ass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's annoying. what has been for you the best thing and the worst thing about lockdown, about being confined to your home? >> well, one of the good things was i found out during lockdown, not showering for four days is not that different than five days. [ laughter ] the gross, the gross factor levels out. it flattens out after four.

>> jimmy: so that was the best thing, huh? >> that was the best thing. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> the worst thing was zooming. i had to learn about the ins and outs of zooming. i did a zoom with a bunch of friends. and it wasn't till after that i realized -- i'll try to clean this up too. [ laughter ] when you pass wind on zoom. >> jimmy: yeah? >> you know, i thought, i don't care, they don't know. and then my friend told me after, dude, your box lights up. when there's a noise, you light up. [ laughter ] yeah, so i lost about nine friends in lockdown. >> jimmy: then they weren't really your friends anyway. >> no, yeah, come on. >> jimmy: all right, we are going to take a break. when we come back, ray romano has a talent that -- i've known ray for quite some time, i did not know you had this talent. we're going to put this gift to

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so put off those chores and use less energy from 4 to 9 pm when less clean energy is available. because that's power down time. >> jimmy: romany malco is on the way. ray romano is with us. i mentioned before the break, ray has a gift. that gift is what, ray? >> i can tell just by looking at a person if their name is "ray." i know a "ray" when i see one.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: just by looking, just by casting eyes on that person, maybe asking a question or two, you know if it is a fellow ray or not. >> yes. >> jimmy: we have three pedestrians lined up on hollywood boulevard. one of these people is named ray. ray, your job is to find the ray in a game we call "ray-dar." [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. >> jimmy: our first group. >> okay, the simple first go-to question, i need to know their last name. i got to see how it flows. if it flows -- go ahead. >> jimmy: contestant number one, last name. >> my last name is mirzabegian. >> jimmy: all right. number two? >> bushero. >> i think he can go home. no, no, second one action sorry. i didn't hear the second one. >> bushero. >> stick around. >> jimmy: and? >> hideamman.

>> i'm not going to even attempt to reboat those last names to you, ray. >> i'm not going to eliminate number one yet. okay. let's go this way. has anyone ever given you a nickname that started with "sugar"? >> jimmy: oh. >> no. >> no. >> no. >> jimmy: three noes. >> okay. this is the telltale of all telltales. i need to see them dance. if they can all do their best dance move. >> jimmy: okay. >> yes. their best dance move. >> jimmy: all right. rays, commence dancing. >> just one dance move is all i need. yeah, wow. wow. >> jimmy: they're all surprisingly good. ♪ >> i hate to tell you. >> jimmy: one of them looks like he taught at the arthur murray school for a while. >> i hate to tell you, they could all be rays. [ laughter ]

i'm going to go with two. >> jimmy: you're going to go with number two. number two, what is your first name? >> my first name is richard. >> jimmy: richard. no. >> that's my brother, that's my brother's name. >> jimmy: very close. your second-guess? >> you know what i'm going to go against what i thought and go with one. >> jimmy: you're going with number one. what is your name? >> my name is ray! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: his name is ray. all right, rays. we've got ray, richard, what's the third guy's name? >> michael. >> jimmy: ray, richard, michael. we've got ray guns for all of you as a prize for being part of this, there you go. oh, look at that handsome kid distributing the guns. he'll be safe from any kind of harm. there you go. you want to guess that kid's name? >> romano?

>> is it brian? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that was your son matt. >> oh! >> jimmy: all right, guys. let's get some new contestants in there. give ray one more chance. let's see what we have here. we've got a new group of people. again, we just pulled these people -- it's hard to find somebody named ray off the street. what you do is yell "ray?" somebody turns around and you say, there's the guy. all right. again, ray. >> how about this one at a time, could you each say "hello, my name is ray"? i want to see how convincing that sounds. >> jimmy: number one, you go first. >> hello, my name is ray. >> jimmy: number two? >> hello, my name is ray. >> hello, my name is ray. >> jimmy: i wasn't convinced by any of them. [ laughter ] >> i'm going to need another question. i'm going to see -- okay. how about this? this is what it would get me. a ray wouldn't know this.

do you know where women pee from? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: number one? >> oh -- yes. from the bottom. [ laughter ] >> yeah, you could be a ray. you stick around. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: number two? >> i've seen it many times but i don't think i can say it on tv. >> jimmy: how many times? [ laughter ] >> you've seen it many times? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: and number three? >> the urethra. >> yeah, he's out, he's out. [ laughter ] i'm going to go with one again. i have to go with one. >> jimmy: you're saying number one? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: number one, what is your name? >> ronnie. >> jimmy: ronnie! you have a brother named ronnie? no? >> rusty. >> jimmy: number two, what is your name?

>> danny. >> wow. >> jimmy: that leaves mr. urethra. >> that's the smartest ray in california right there. [ cheers and applause ] good for you, sir. >> jimmy: are you a ray? >> yes, i am a ray, yes. >> jimmy: all right, all right. you know what? i guess you're not good at this, ray, turns out. [ laughter ] >> no, i couldn't even tell my son's name. >> jimmy: ray romano. his show is called "made for love." it's on hbo max right now. thank you, ray. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with romany malco! hr ultra scuff defense... so that you can live that scuff-free life. honey, i'm home from my really important job! scuff defense. honey! scuff defense. [ chuckles ] scuff! -defense! i love our scuff-free life. you too, scruff defense. today let's paint with the interior paint

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from nessa barrett is on the way. 20 years ago, when i first spotted our next guest playing the title role in “too legit: the mc hammer story,” i remember thinking, “this guy is legit. maybe even too legit.” [ laughter ] his show, “a million little things”, moves back to wednesdays starting tomorrow here on abc. please say hello to romany malco. hey, romany, how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> what's up, how you doing? >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> you too, my man, how you doing? >> jimmy: congratulations. i know you have a little baby in the house, yes? [ cheers and applause ] >> whoo, hearts are full, man. thank you, thank you. every time i leave the house, i'm late to something, i'm like, i got pulled over by a baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how long ago was he born?

>> he was born going on 2 1/2 months ago. >> jimmy: oh, wow. in the middle of the pandemic. did they let you in the delivery room? >> they did, they did. a lot of preparation. but they eventually cleared me to be in there. and boy. it was an experience. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was it? did it give you a new appreciation for humankind? and women? >> fam, fam. i saw that, i saw that baby come out of there -- [ laughter ] i witnessed the nine months of pregnancy. the baby -- i called my mom. i was like, mom? i -- thank you. [ laughter ] no. like -- and i really talk about, you know mom, seriously, witnessing the birth, now being the parent, not being the son but actually having the child, you know, looking into the child's eyes, seeing how the child is dependant on us to make sure that it's safe. i just like, mom, i -- i look at that now and realize, i just --

i never really knew how much you got from me, you are welcome. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that is very kind of you to do that. i think we have a photograph of romany and child. [ applause ] yeah, that's it. that's a cute kid. the dad's cute too. are you good? are you helping? are you skilled? >> i'm -- i'm -- i go up front. like -- i'm different. i insist on changing my baby's diaper. because i want to be in there. i want to see it all. i want to make sure -- let me tell you something. i used to be a big-time health nut. and i believe poop tells you everything you need t know. i kind ev like -- yeah i'm basically palm reading my baby's poop partnership. [ laughter ] it kind of lets me know if he's digesting his food right, if he's ingesting everything. what i'm seeing, you know, not that i'm a fortune teller or

anything, but i'm getting the sense he's going to be a professional hockey player. [ laughter ] he's going to minor in economics and major in art. >> jimmy: i think you've been in canada too long is i think what's going on. >> you might have a point. >> jimmy: you named your son brave. brave is his name? >> yep. >> jimmy: that is a bold, maybe even brave, thing to do. mean, i would think that when your name is brave, you're going to have to behave in a certain way for the whole rest of your life. >> you know -- the way that we came up with the name, we were trying to figure out the conversation that we wanted to have with our -- with our child over and over. have it take on new meaning. honestly, we kind of felt like often people think of brave as, you know, the dude hanging off the side of the building in "die hard," right? >> jimmy: right. >> there's a lot of things about being vulnerable, being honest,

taking ownersip of your mistakes, that also involves bravery. and hopefully as our child evolves, we'll be able to have these conversations with him. and that was honestly the reason that we chose the name. >> jimmy: right. but how's he going to explain that to the kids on the little league team? [ laughter ] >> i'll be like, boy, you better jump. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you get your wife a gift? you're supposed to now -- what do they call it? you know that, you're supposed to -- a push gift, a push present, something like that? did you do that? >> a push different. i did not know that there was such a thing as a ur gift, that you're supposed to give a woman a gift for pushing the baby out. >> jimmy: yes. >> and i was like, well -- how am i supposed to know about all this stuff? and literally i had no clue. i was not aware. she made me aware of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, good. baby came out.-- the minute the- and i'm like, wait a minute, i pushed the baby in. [ laughter ]

[ applause ] >> jimmy: right. yeah, no, that was the gift. >> yeah, there's no gift for that. i actually consulted with her friends, individually and collectively, and there really is no gift for pushing the baby in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, there's no gift. no gift at all. what did you get? did you come up with something good? >> well, what did i get my lady? >> jimmy: yeah, yes. >> well -- to be honest with you, she's gotten so many things, i forgot which one was the push gift. speaking of what did you get, like listen. forget about the gifts that i purchased. we now have -- oh, i know what i got her. i don't want to say the name brand. i got her an suv. that's what i got her. >> jimmy: an suv. i don't know -- the connection sounded like you said "std." [ laughter ] suv is what you were saying. i was like, what? wow. >> i got her a toyota highlander. >> jimmy: you did? >> a highlander, i got it. whatever. >> jimmy: all right. well, that's a good gift.

so now you guys are -- i wanted to ask you about something. i know your name, sometimes people say "roam-a-ny" instead of >> i think that honestly, no one really has ever brownsed my name correctly anyway. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> in fact, people told me rome long before the show came along. i guess romneyny was too complex for the north american tongue. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> i get called rome. depends on where you are. if i'm in america or north america, you know, people are comfortable saying rome. they can't say romany. if i'm in someplace like, say like puerto rico, people call me romany with no problem whatsoever. trinidad, i'm like somehow "yankee boy."

[ laughter ] or -- yeah. >> jimmy: in utah, you're the senator. >> yeah, yeah. kevin hart used to call me mitch romany. >> jimmy: just what you need. it's great to see you. congratulations on the baby. "a million little things" is wednesday night on abs. romany malco. be right back with nessa barrett, jxdn and travis parker too. ♪ ♪ we can't make you stop. but we can help get rid of the spots that your acne left behind. differin dark spot correcting serum has the maximum-strength dark spot-fading power you can get without a prescription. make it a part of your routine for consistently clear skin. don't let acne leave its mark. do things differin.

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let's get to immunity. >> jimmy: welcome back. music from nessa barrett, jxdn and travis barker is still to come. for many people, the past year was an opportunity to get back in touch with personal fitness. for guillermo, it was a chance to get in touch with his couch. but thanks to his new personal trainer, that's all about to change. >> guillermo: it's time to call my workout coach. >> yo, guillermo. >> jimmy: hi, five-time winner mookie betts. what's going on, bro? >> guillermo: i'm working out but i don't know if i'm doing it right. can you help me?

>> let's see what you got. >> guillermo: thank you, mookie betts! is this right? >> not really. it's called a push "up." >> guillermo: mookie, is this right? >> maybe try losing the ladder. >> guillermo: mookie, is that right? >> bro, you've got to make sure you're hydrated, something better for you with natural flavors and sweetens. >> guillermo: is this right, mookie? >> most definitely. guess i spoke too soon. >> dicky: head to drinkbodyarmor.com to learn more.

>> jimmy: i want to thank ray romano, romany malco and mookie betts and ken burns. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, we'll have luke bryan and katey sagal joining us. “nightline” is next, but first, the song is called “la di die”- with a little help from jxdn and travis barker, nessa barrett! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ does it rain in california only dream i've ever known ♪ ♪ will they love you when you're famous will you never be alone ♪

♪ hope someday i'll find nirvana ♪ ♪ i'll be looking down below ♪ ♪ i'll be dead at 27 only 9 more years go ♪ ♪ i got a bully in my head ♪ ♪ fake love fake friends ♪ ♪ i was broken when you left ♪ ♪ now you hear me everywhere you go ♪ ♪ la da di oh la di da gonna be a superstar ♪ ♪ be the girl you used to know playin on the radio ♪ ♪ la da di oh la di die ♪ ♪ loving me is suicide ♪ ♪ i'm a dreamer i'm on fire ♪ ♪ la da di run for your life ♪ ♪ ahh ohh ♪

♪ said i'm going to be a rockstar ya ♪ ♪ told her i don't wanna war ya ♪ ♪ i don't see me going far ya ♪ ♪ that's what happens when i fall apart ♪ ♪ all of me wants all of you ♪ ♪ but i'm far away and i can't choose ♪ ♪ i got lot of lessons that i need to learn got a lot of lessons ♪ ♪ my depression and misconceptions ♪ ♪ and all the mistakes that lead to lessons ♪ ♪ my depression it makes me question ♪ ♪ my depression it makes me question ♪ ♪ la da di oh la di da gonna be a superstar ♪ ♪ be the girl you used to know playin on the radio ♪ ♪ la da di oh la di die loving me is suicide ♪ ♪ i'm a dreamer

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this is "nightline." >> tonight, the fight to reform the death penalty. how a mother called for mercy instead of execution. >> knowing that the justice system was already agains him and my son, i don't want to help that system. it doesn't need any help. >> and why a lawyer dedicated his life to changing a system and freeing the wrongfully accused. >> thank you, jesus! >> the death penalty was a response to the inability to continue lynching people with impunity. plus stirring the soul of america. how andra day channeled the legend billie holiday in a new film. ♪ strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees ♪