tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 17, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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thanks for watching i'm ama daetz. >> and i'm dan ashley. we >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- shaquille o'neal, patton oswalt, and music from chase rice. and now jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i appreciate it. hey, you know what? i'll tell you something. it's monday. it's not so different from most mondays, except for one kind of big thing, and that big thing is ufos. did you see "60 minutes" last night? i know you're laughing. i'm not joking. no, you didn't watch. >> guillermo: no, i didn't watch. >> jimmy: the truth is not just out there anymore. it's here. "60 minutes" did a story last night, in which they interviewed
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some very credible former pentagon and military officials. who had video and eyewitness accounts of objects that fly 13,000 miles per hour, drop 80,000 feet in less than a second, and go underwater. the government calls them "unidentified aerial phenomena." uap. just like the card by b song. they've known about this for a couple of years, but waited until now to talk about because, i guess, a couple of years ago, they would have been too embarrassed if the aliens said, "take us to your leader." they'd be like eh, not a great idea. i can't believe so many people didn't see it. i feel like if this story had been on "60 minutes" in like 1988, it would be the only thing we talk about for the next 30 years. it would have been the biggest news story of the year. now, it's like, "yeah." oh, yeah, i heard that. and i also heard bill gates was trying to get freaky with one of his employees, right? after watching the story, you almost hope they're visitors from another planet, because if china has technology like this, we'd betterstart learning to
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speak mandarin immediately. i have so many questions. i want to know where they come from, what kind of engines or fuel propels these things. what is this information they've been trying to find in hillbillies' butts for all of these years? that's what i want to know. and poor mike pence is missing all of it. this was his shot to suit up in that space force bomber jacket and blast off to the crab nebula. and now he's not. so we're not alone. by the way, we're really not alone. after 14 months of being on our roof, our band is back in studio. say hello to cleto and the cletones! cleto sr., toeshcshi, jonathan, cleto finally back. there is nothing more rock 'n roll than being separated by plexiglas dividers.
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you want goive us a little something since you're back? come on, give us something. yeah. ♪ all right. a little rusty, but they'll get the magic back. jonathan, you're going to be -- i've really been missing the rim shots, so i'm going to need some tonight. give us just one to see what it sound like. yeah, that's what i like. all right. when you have that, you don't even have to be funny. you really don't. this is funny. we learned over the weekend that joe biden had a venmo account. i say had because he had to delete the venmo account. he apparently used it to send money to his granddaughters. it's weird to hear about a politician using venmo to pay teenagers for something other than sex. isn't it? see what i mean? buzzfeed did a story about how easy it was for them to find it.
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and there are some interesting transactions. they found joseph biden paid shoe loews gus for malarkey. paid huck for fixing the doo hickey. lil' bee bop, licorice whips. paid sal's electronics -- victrola repair. paid higgenbothem's apothecary for 1 jar of tooth powder. and paid angela merkel, sorry for the weird hug. who would have ever guessed it? if somebody said what are the odds that joe biden has venmo, it's no way, right? isn't it like finding out the pope wears v.r. goggles? i forgot how scary they are too. this was one notable payment request that biden did not accept. you know how trump claimed he was going to build a "garden of heroes?" he was going to build statues honoring a bunch of famous people jared googled for him? he announced this just before leaving office and, to no one's surprise, it's not gonna happen.
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president biden, on friday, revoked the executive order to build the garden. and, of course, republican lawmakers are cranking up the fake outrage machine. qanut, lauren boebert, of colorado tweeted, "biden cancelled the national garden of american heroes because he hates america. hates our history. and is okay with cancel culture tearing down america's statues." right. i'm sure she's very upset about this. that he hates america intensely. no site was ever selected for this garden. there were no plans. nothing was funded by congress. it's the quintessential donald trump project. no plan. no money. no promise kept. there wasn't even a site picked out for the garden. trump basically conceived it, then ditched it altogether. it was like tiffany in a way. hey, remember the tiger king joe exotic, who is currently in jail? you probably know he requested a
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pardon from trump. trump didn't bite. so now he is hoping to get the new president to bail him out. he took to twitter to beg for joe biden's help. here is how that conversation i'm guessing went at the white house. mr. president, joe exotic is asking you for a pardon. who's joe kpoktic? the guy from tiger king. the guy from netflix. who's a netflix? okay, that's a no then. "mr. president, joe exotic is by the way, you know who really deserves the name "joe exotic?" this smooth operator right here, maybe even joe erotic. speaking of tigers, last week, i mentioned there was a bengal tiger on the loose in houston. well, it is no longer on the loose. the wife of a prominent local mattress salesman, a guy named mattress mac says she had the tiger at a private tennis club she owns. this tennis club is licensed to have wild animallings. i went on their website. they have monkeys at this tennis
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club. i don't know if they go get the balls or what. it's a tennis club with monkeys. you better watch out, florida. texas is really making a run. any way, the tiger is safe. he is in the custody of hpd major offenders commander ron borza. >> commander, it's been a long week looking for guy. >> it really has. but we got him, and he is healthy. >> jimmy: now i want a tiger. if the idea was to warn people about how dangerous these animals are, mission not accomplished at all. get me a tiger, will you, guillermo? >> guillermo: sure. >> jimmy: time for our big exclusive. we -- the 17th season of "the bachelorette" starts next month. and for the first time ever, we got an exclusive look at all the men who will be competing for katie's attention. so many shows wanted this. "meet the press," "face the nation," "oprah."
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they were all desperate to get this, but somehow we got it. we managed to wrest it away from abc.com. and so with a stack of headshots in hand, i gathered my bachelorette crew to go through all the men in this first look at katie's harem. ♪ >> cheeks, everybody. >> cheers. >> oh, i can't wait to get into this. >> i know you love this. >> i feel like it's christmas eve. are you ready to open the packages? >> can't wait. >> all right. we begin with aaron. thoughts? >> hundreds of teeth, which is what's most important. >> jimmy: he does have a lot of teeth. yeah. >> he is cute, though. what does he do? >> jimmy: he's an insurance agent. >> oh. >> jimmy: his biggest fears are rats and saber tooth tie-breakers he says. >> one of those is extinct, so he will sleep easier tonight. >> brendan, firefighter trainee from toronto. >> i think his nighttime ritual probably takes way too long.
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>> yes. >> jimmy: christian from boston. he is a real estate agent. >> he loves parades. >> no! who loves parades? >> it's so hard to love a parade. >> it's not the 1930s. >> jimmy: connor b. >> yes. >> best face in the bunch. >> yes. >> jimmy: well, guess what? he is a math teacher. >> cute. >> congratulations. >> jimmy: claims he can eat cereal faster than anyone. >> no. he's out. that's disgusting. >> that's not something to be proud of. >> that's horrible sound. >> oh, my gosh. >> the worst sound you can hear. >> jimmy: what about this? >> no. >> jimmy: ah. that's bad too. >> yes. >> he is cute. he is going. he is top two. >> jimmy: you just struck him down because of cereal. >> i don't want him to eat cereal around us, but his face is great and he is a teacher. top two. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this guy with his hair, this is gabriel. he is an entrepreneur. >> they all are. >> jimmy: which is french for unemployed. he believes that people should
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respect elegant styles of the pa past. >> which means he is either gay or weird. >> jimmy: could be both. >> he is out is what he is. >> jimmy: he'll be the one everyone hates, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: garrett is not a fan of tangy foods. >> i would not think he was. >> bland foods. >> jimmy: who is not a fan of tangy foods? >> i like him. the guy you dance with at a wedding, your cousin's wedding. >> i don't want to go to dinner with him. >> jimmy: he has eliminated a whole category of food that really doesn't even exist. >> i don't know what it is for him. i like him. >> jimmy: i don't. >> okay. >> jimmy: it's time for a dose of denim. here is jeff. >> no. >> jimmy: jeff is a skin salesman. this is weird. >> that's not cool. >> jimmy: jeff actually sells artificial skin, you know, for medical procedures. >> there has to be another phrase than skin salesman for that. >> jimmy: jeff calls himself an exceptional lover. >> of course he does. >> jimmy: how you know?
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>> a skin specialist of another kind. >> jimmy: this is justin. >> cute. >> jimmy: he does not like to dance. >> nope. >> nope. >> jimmy: why? >> you know i like to dance. >> jimmy: but we're not looking for a date future you. >> well, i'm just judging through my eyes. i like it when a guy can dance. >> jimmy: this is carl. he is a motivational speaker. oh, that's bad. >> scary, and they always need the motivation the most. >> yes! it's like the hairdressers with the worst hair. >> jimmy: his nickname is sunshine. >> is it? >> jimmy: uh-oh. he is a proud and loyal belieber. >> i am too. >> you know what? good eyebrows which is actually my favorite part of the male face. >> and he will never go bald. >> got kind of a pete sampras john krasinski type thing going. >> jimmy: marty is from reno, and he is a dancer. what? >> wait a minute. what is that necklace and
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earrings? >> marty brings the party. >> no, he doesn't. >> wait, he says that? is he a stripper? >> jimmy: it's his self-described tag line. he brings the party. the way into his heart is? >> the tightest thermal of all time. >> jimmy: quartney. >> courtney cox spells her name wrong. >> jimmy: it's not a q. don't go crazy. i say he is okay as long as he no longer speaks to his parents. his favorite activity is to meet his friends for their brunch and book club, and he loves the harmonica. this is the guy i would pick. this is my guy. >> do you know that jimmy has nine harmonicas in the car, and he also has a thing he wears around his neck and he plays harmonica while he drives. >> jimmy: a thing i wear around my neck? >> a necklace. >> jimmy: bob dylan wears one of those. you don't make fun of him.
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>> what's it for? it holds the harmonica? >> jimmy: it's so i the can play the harmonica while i'm driving the car. ♪ people laugh when they drive by. andrew s. one of his favorite party tricks is imitating accents from around the globe. >> oh, he'll be canceled immediately. >> jimmy: he is very close with his 96-year-old grandmother. >> awww. >> now we like him again. ooh, i don't like his turtleneck. >> yeah, my 96-year-old grandmother is kind of a bitch. this is brandon. he is an auto parts manager from queens. how is this allowed in queens? what happened to queens? >> th this is cody. he is a zipper sales manager. >> excuse me? >> jimmy: he is a zipper sales manager. >> bye, cody. >> jimmy: connor c. former baseball player.
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oh, connor c. and matthew mcconaughey share birthdays. >> that's not an accomplishment. >> jimmy: he has to sleep on the right side of the bed. and he starts celebrating christmas in october. >> no. >> jimmy: greg dreams of seeing lebron james play basketball in person. oh, wow, if only there was some way to make that dream come true. his name is hunter. he says he'll never stop beliebing in romance. this you're not going to like at all. i'm going predict right off the bat. there is no picture of this guy. all there is a box. and i guess he considers himself to be a gift to the world, to the bachelorette? >> i three-point is a gift receipt. >> i hope he is 4 feet tall. i hope he gets out of the box and he is the size of the box and he scampers out of the box and we all go crazy. well, we did it. we went through all of them. we evaluated them. and now i guess only time will tell. yes. and by the way, i just want to say a quick one more toast. and thank you all for having your hair done to be here.
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>> thank you. >> jimmy: don't think it went unnoticed. you want to hear that noise again? >> oh, no! please. i hate that sound. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight. patton oswalt is with us. we've got music from chase rice. and we'll be right back with shaquille o'neal. so stick around. ♪ ♪ do you remember back in 1966, come ♪ “cracked windshield” take 1. abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought you by geico. uh - uh, lisa, maybe less heartbroken? geico lets you file a claim online, over the phone or with their app. ♪ that makes me wanna say... ♪
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still the same crew, studio audience, but we'll get there. tonight from the highly anticipated new show on hulu, "marvel's m.o.d.o.k.," modok himself patton oswalt is here. and then later, this is his album. he named it "the album." music from chase rice tonight. this week, we've got new shows with don cheadle, ryan seacrest, gabrielle union, and dwyane wade. music from royal blood, lake street dive, and counting crows. so please join us for all that. our first guest is someone i always look forward the seeing him, each when he is not on the show. i can look out my window and see him. he just that big. starting tomorrow on tnt, he and his hall of fame "inside the nba" colleagues give voice to the new state farm nba play-in tournament. please say hello to the great shaquille o'neal. hey, shaq. >> hello, jimmy. how you? >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> nice to see you too, sir.
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>> jimmy: well, first of all, before we get into all the congratulations, i do want to ask you about the ufos "60 minutes." did you watch last night? do you know what's going on? >> i did. i heard about it. >> jimmy: i feel like it's not getting as much attention as it should. as someone who is just physically closer to outer space than the rest of us, what is your take on what's going on? >> well, one, i totally believe in ufos. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah, because i look at charles barkley and look at his body. he is definitely an alien. and you know what's crazy? i never told anybody this story. >> jimmy: oh. >> in 1997, me and one of my good friends chris florez, we were on a double date. the girl he married, melissa. we were on a double date. we were coming from hollywood video in madera, california. and right when we passed the fair ground by this big open
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lot, i could swear i saw a flying saucer coming out with all the lights and they were spinning and took off. and everything happened in less than five seconds. and we all looked at each other like, and i know that it was ufo. i don't care what anybody says. >> jimmy: you never told anybody about that? >> nope. you're the first person i told. because i don't want people to think i'm crazy. >> jimmy: right, right. >> since i know you're crazy and you believe in ufos, let you know that shaq believes in ufos. >> jimmy: i have to say, i think that's part of the problem is any time anyone shares a ufo story, people think they're crazy. and some of these pilots last night were saying, like if i had been alone in the plane and seen this, i don't think i would have told anyone because people thought i was crazy. but since there were four of us, we either were all crazy or we saw something. >> i have another question for you. >> jimmy: yes, go ahead. >> why when i look up at nighttime, i can see the moon?
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so the moon from earth is how many miles? just guess. >> jimmy: >> at least 50. i don't know. it's got to be a. >> 51,000. >> jimmy: more than that, probably. >> okay. so my question is i can stand outside and look up and see the moon. how come when i stand outside in my yard, i can't see california, and it's only 3,000 miles away. >> jimmy: probably because you're only 8 feet tall. if you were 9 feet tall you would be able to see california. shaq, i'm starting to suspect you maybe have been experimenting with marijuana, but that has nothing to do with any of this. >> actually, no. no. >> jimmy: you are -- well, you're already in the hall of fame and you're again in the hall of fame as a broadcaster. [ cheering and applause ] with your guys on "inside the nba" which is a great show. i'm glad they thought you know what? we should put this show in the hall of fame. that has to be pretty exciting
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for you? >> it's very exciting. i think since i've been there, we've won seven to nine emmys. love working with the great charles barkley. listen, the reason why we got in the hall of fame is because of the great ernie johnson. he is so fabulous. he is professional. >> jimmy: ernie is fantastic. >> i know where my bread is buttered. i'm not going to sit up here and act like it's because of me or because of charles or kenny. i think ernie is the go-to guy. and then charles second and i'm third and kenny, since he sucks. >> jimmy: he is a distant fourth. [ laughter ] now i don't know if you thought about this, or if charles reminded you of this, but charles is now in the hall of fame three times. >> for what? he has no rings. he has no rings. what? >> jimmy: he is in as a player. he is in for dream team, and he is in with you guys on "inside the nba." so you're one behind him there. >> oh, my. i don't believe that.
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>> jimmy: shaq, did you hear what jeanie buss said? she asked to rank her top five lakers of all time. you were not on the list. she said kobe, kareem, magic, lebron and phil jackson. >> got it. >> jimmy: jerry west was very upset about it. he made a comment about it. how about you? how do you feel about that? >> he definitely should have been on the list. i love the bus family. i love jeanie buss. she has always been a woman who speaks her mine. i'm glad they won three championships and have a lovely statue in front of the staples center. >> jimmy: you really matured over the years, shaq. >> i have. >> jimmy: obviously, kobe was inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. i see you got some pictures there behind you. >> yes. >> jimmy: you and kobe together.
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you got one there. now kobe, obviously you guys had some ups and downs, but you ended as friends. and i -- kobe told me a story once, and i wanted to get your take on it. he said that you guys, it was a scrimmage, and i don't remember what the reason was. i don't remember that he remembered what the reason was, but you guys got in a fight and he threw a punch at you. do you remember that? >> no, i don't remember that one. >> jimmy: okay. well, he says he threw a punch at you, and almost immediately realized that it was a terrible idea. >> no, listen, i been in this league 19 years, and i had a lot of scuffles like that. i don't really remember that. i just wish he was here to receive the prestigious award. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> knew he was going to be a hall of famer. his wife did a great job and his daughters looked beautiful. but i wish he was there. >> jimmy: yeah, same here. you know, this is kind of interesting because i was looking at steph curry had
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like -- he made like 300 three-pointers or something in this shortened season. you were the last mvp to -- who did not make a three-pointer at all, or the last scoring champion who did not even attempt or maybe attempted them, but did not make a three-pointer the whole season. that's really crazy. and i think it partly shows how much the game has changed. >> well, not only, that it's also shows you that i was a bad mother. >> jimmy: right. do you know how many three-pointers you attempted in your career? >> i think i was 1 out of 22. >> jimmy: that's right. and here is the one. let's take a look. >> a couple of points. inbound, shaq, the catch, he is going to file a three. do you remember that? >> yeah, i remember that. i remember i think i was telling
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coach hill hey, man, we're up. win the game. let me shoot a three. he is no, i don't want to embarrass the other team. go to penny.ng to do, going to - and right before i came out, i was forget that. i'm going to intercept the ball and shoot the three and i'm going to make it. and i'm going to look back at the coach like i'm the black steph curry. >> jimmy: the black steph curry. shaq, we'll be right back. [ laughter ] ♪ >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by tostitos chips and dips. get to the good stuff! ♪who can take a sunrise♪ ♪sprinkle it with dew♪ ♪cover it in choc'late and a miracle or two♪ ♪the candy man♪ ♪ ♪'cause he mixes it with love♪ ♪and makes the world taste good♪
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get those. you guys going to compete? you get three shots. first up, dwyane wade. for the free-throw line. candace, underhand. number two. oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: candace parker and dwyane wade throwing grapes at shaquille o'neal. hey, dwayne is going to be here tomorrow. i think it would be nice -- you played with him for quite some time. tell us something embarrassing about dwayne that i can bring up tomorrow. >> when i first went to house in miami, he was living in a terrible house. and i had to pull himself and bro, you need to fire your
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realtor and get a new house. he was living in a trailer park. >> jimmy: is that right? why do you think that is? is he cheap? >> nah, he didn't realize how big-time he was yet. >> jimmy: i see. >> i said bro, if you want to be big time, you got to look and feel big time. >> jimmy: last year, you guys wagered your mvp trophies on the finals, and you won. did dwayne pay up? did he give you the trophy? >> no, he has not. >> jimmy: he has not? are you expecting to receive that trophy? >> no. him and his wife, they post photos every day so i know where they live at. next time they're out of time, i'm just going to break in and take it. >> jimmy: all right. good thinking. so this state farm nba play-in tournament is something that has never happened before. this is -- well, explain exactly how it's going to work. i think i know, but you tell it. >> i think nine plays ten.
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>> jimmy: nine plays ten. uh-huh. >> loser is out. seven plays eight. and i think the loser gets to play another game, something like that. >> jimmy: yeah, the loser plays nine, and then whoever wins that game gets that eight spot. do you like this? >> man, i don't really like it, but it is what it is. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the lakers are in a position now. so i think it's vital that they win. especially if they want to repeat. >> jimmy: well, yeah. if they lose, they won't win. for sure. yeah. >> correct. >> jimmy: i looked up the odds, though. do you ever look at the odds, the gambling odds from vegas? >> i'm not a gambler, i'm a role model, sir. >> jimmy: well, i'll tell you, then. even though the lakers are kind of fighting for their lives with this play-in thing, they're still number two in vegas. the nets are the favorite. and then the laker, and then you the clippers. do you think the lakers have a good chance to win this thing?
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>> i think if they -- if everyone is healthy and the shooters are shooting the ball well, definitely with lebron james you definitely have a chance to win. >> jimmy: i want to ask you a nonbasketball question. you're in a zale's jewelry store, and there was a guy in there. correct me if i have any of this wrong. and he was paying for an engagement ring for his fiancee, and you kind of overheard, you saw what was going on, and you decided to pay for that ring. that true? >> yeah, he was young kid. i really respect hard-working young kids. i respect the hard worker period. and he was coming in, and he wanted to propose to his fiancee a couple of weeks earlier, but he didn't put all the money down on the ring yet. he was trying to tell the guy, hey, let me take it and propose to her, i'll give you this amount and this amount. and he was sir, i wish i could, but i couldn't. i told the guy, put it on my credit card. and the kid was no, man, i don't take handouts. well, if you look over in that section, you see my jewelry in this thing.
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i own zale's. don't worry about it. he took it. you know, it is actually something that i do all the time. >> jimmy: i know you do do that. what's the most expensive thing you ever bought for a stranger? >> most expensive thing i've ever bought was furniture for this old lady's house. i was in the store one day trying to get a couch, and i just saw this lady looking at a couch, and she was comparing the prices. and i said ma'am, just pay for that one. and she said oh, baby, thank you. my house just caught on fire. i just need a house. your house caught on fire? what else do you need? baby, i don't want to do that. so we furnished the whole house. about 30,000. >> jimmy: nice. >> put a smile on her face. i was glad to be able to do that. >> jimmy: well that is a very sweet thing to do. and imagine, i can only imagine when you walk into a furniture store how scared the couches are, you know?
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>> you know, i have small booty compared to guillermo. >> jimmy: you're right. you're right. >> guillermo: oh, whatever. >> jimmy: shaquille o'neal, the state farm nba play-in tournament starts tomorrow night on tnt. the hornets at the pacers, followed by wizards at celtics. there he is. double hall of famer shaquille o'neal. thanks, shaq! we'll be back with patton oswalt. ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ did you steal my cheetos again? (awkward silence) just tell him it wasn't you. ♪but i caught you at the counter♪ it wasn't me. ♪ ♪saw you snackin' on the sofa♪ it wasn't me. [cat meows] [crunch] ♪you even had them in the shower♪ ♪ it wasn't me. ♪ ♪i even caught you on camera♪ well... it wasn't me... it was shaggy! it was her. i watched her eat them. new cheetos crunch pop mix. we're for those who love to discover. who know an open mind is the only kind. who don't need to travel to find something new. who know where to escape, even just for a moment. who don't need a fortune to find a gem. and who know when you spend less, you can discover even more.
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♪ welcome to our land hey!♪ ♪ sorry about your hand ♪ ♪ but it's better in here, ya it's fun in here ♪ ♪ trolli, trolli, trolli ♪ trolli. i'm david collado i chose the spark cash card from capital one. cause i earn unlimited 2% cash back on everything i buy. last year i redeemed $21,000 in cash back which i used for new equipment, to expand production. what's in your wallet? i'm ordering some burritos! oh, nice. burritos?! get a freshly made footlong from subway® instead. with crisp veggies on freshly baked bread. just order in the app! ditch the burgers! choose better, be better. subway®. eat fresh. ♪eh uh, eh uh♪ cho♪flow (oh my gosh)♪er. ♪where man go (oh my gosh)♪ ♪if a man see me (oh my gosh)♪ ♪i guess you never know what you got 'til it's♪ ♪flow (oh my gosh)♪ ♪where man go (oh my gosh)♪
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♪if a man see me (oh my gosh)♪ ♪i guess you never know what you got 'til it's♪ if there was a world championship for this... ♪eh uh, eh uh eh uh, eh uh eh uh, eh uh eh uh♪ i'd be a sports legend. i'd be a household name. but there isn't. and i wouldn't do anything different if there was. nutro feed clean™
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♪ >> jimmy: music from chase rice is on the way. our next guest is not a large man physically, but he has a shaquille o'neal-sighed brain and a new project that will world. the animated stop-motion series, "m.o.d.o.k." >> you still can't use your mind. a my dang shoulder. ahh! ♪ >> because it's cool. >> there he is, modok himself, patton oswalt. hey, patton. >> jimmy, hey! how you doing? >> jimmy: i've been dying, you
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know what? this modok, i think for somebody my age, knowing modok, which is this kind of obscure super villain from marvel comics, what year did modok premiere? >> i believe he premiered in captain america in 1964. and he has always been one of those bottom rung super villains. but i love what me and my co-creator jordan bloom love about him, he is aware of where he is in the pecking order of super villains, and that is part of what makes him so angry. it's almost like he is angrier at the other villains than he is at the heroes, because no one is giving him any -- his props, he is this giant floating seven dimensional brain, but everyone treats him like he is just is a store brand. oh, yeah, whatever, modok, fine. whatever. and i love that about him. >> jimmy: he is a character. it almost seems like they came up with as a joke in a with a. the name modok would never fly
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today. if you pitched modok, which what does modok stand for? >> it stands for mental organism designed only for killing. although my daughter pointed out the other night technically, his name should be modofk. the f should be in there. just think of something really quick. fill the five pages, whatever you draw. and the guy, was in a bad mood when he drew it. you want this? drew a giant head with tiny arms. here. i'm going home. you can feel the anger on the page coming off of modok. it's so great. >> jimmy: as a kid reading this comic book, you read spider man, you imagine yourself as spider man or ironman or any of these guys. do you ever imagine you would be modok? >> no. and not only did i not imagine i'd be modok, when i would read
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spider man, i would go some of his villains are kind of cool, the scorpion or doc ok. every now and then modok would show up. modok, whenever he shows up in com comics, he comes in screaming. he is immediately defeated. the fact that that's the one i got to play, it's just so -- but we really leaned into the fact that he is a complete disaster. and that's part of the series which is really fun. >> jimmy: not only did you make the show, you co-wrote with your buddy jason some of these comic books. i have to tell you. >> yes. >> jimmy: i have to say i haven't read -- adult comic book because i don't think that exists. i haven't read a comic book that wasn't targeted at 5-year-olds in quite some time. i got a little nervous, oh, yeah, i could see my wife divorcing me because of this. >> yeah, we had a lot of fun drawing that, writing the comic because we were able to kind of
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link him into the bigger marvel universe. we had a lot of fun with the show. the idea, this is not a slob husband with a long suffering wife. this is a guy who in the first episode, the wife is i'm divorcing you. this does not work. i'm leaving. and that becomes the plot. it's just really fun. >> jimmy: that is -- i love what you guys have done. and i love stop-motion animation too. it is another one of those things that just brings me right back to childhood. >> yes. yeah, that was kind of our thinking. we went to stupid buddy, the guys who do robot chicken at seth green's company. >> jimmy: right. >> if you have ever visited stupid buddy, it's like willy wonka's chocolate factory for geeks. it's every nerdy thing you've ever wanted in one building, and they're all building these different creatures and environments. we just love the fact that because this was -- modok was created by jack kirby, who is this really big personality, that it's got to be 3-d. it's got to have that same big
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loud personality that modok has. >> jimmy: yeah, well. when you're just a head in a can with tiny nil arm, you're probably going to overcompensate. >> literal i will, that's all he can do. his superpower is overcompensation. i just now realized that. his super power is overcompensation. >> jimmy: patton, did you watch "60 minutes" last night? >> i did. yes, i did. >> jimmy: i can't like -- i think like 80% of our staff had no idea what i was talking about. am i nuts when i say this is what we should all be focused on right now? >> listen, i agree with what shaq said earlier. and by the way, i'm broadcasting. i'm in this pocket right now. i'm in his shirt pocket. but no, here is what is frustrating for me. i've never personally seen a ufo or a ghost or experienced a time shift or anything like that. but i'm very, very open to that
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existing. and i'm surrounded by people, friends and family who have seen and encountered ufos. my dad was a test pilot in the marines all through the '60s and '70s. and when he was stationed at el toro, talk to any pilot that. >> see all kinds of weird stuff up there, but they just don't report it because they don't want to go into a crank file. so he said he was on a test flight and he saw a bunch of objects that he said they looked like glowing balls of energy in these round metal cages. and they were keeping track with the jets. and they would do these turns that you couldn't do under those g forces. it would disappear. and when he came down and talked to his base commander and said hey, my squad saw. and the base commander went were they metal cages with energy balls in them? and yeah. do you want to report them? no, i don't. and the commander just went good, fine. and walked away. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. i mean, i'm just saying this new
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what is it called, atip? that's the thing that congress is doing to look at all these reports? >> jimmy: yes. >> are they going to go book is project bluebook from the '70s where they were really going into -- is all that stuff locked away? what's going on? >> jimmy: well, i'll call you after the show and let you know what's going on. by the way, speaking about a ball of energy inside a metal cage, it's modok right there. that's what your dad was foreshadowing. >> wait a minute, oh, god! it's all happening! it's all coming together. jimmy, i got to get out of the country. i got to go. >> jimmy: patton oswalt. you can see all the episodes of "marvel's m.o.d.o.k." starting streaming may 21st on hulu. great to see you. we'll be right back with music from chase rice. like many people with moderate to severe ulcerative colitis or crohn's disease, i was there.
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be right back. but my symptoms were keeping me from where i needed to be. ♪ so i talked to my doctor and learned humira is for people who have uc... ...or crohn's disease. and humira helps people achieve remission that can last, so you can experience few or no symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. be there for you... and them. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. ♪ ♪
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we'll be there to take care. visit target.com to schedule your covid-19 vaccine with cvs pharmacy at target. is someone trying to steal your butterfinger? call the bfi. ♪ linda? no one lays a finger on your butterfinger. ♪if a man see me (oh my gosh)♪ ♪i guess you never know what you got 'til it's♪ays a finger
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♪flow (oh my gosh)♪ ♪where man go (oh my gosh)♪ ♪if a man see me (oh my gosh)♪ ♪i guess you never know what you got 'til it's♪ ♪eh uh, eh♪ ♪sunglasses on looking at the sky♪ ♪a certain sunny way of life♪ ♪baby unleash your brighter side♪ ♪don't stop the feeling♪ ♪na na na na na♪ ♪hey na na na na na♪ ♪don't stop the feeling♪ oh wowzers, what a special family! special like my fudge stripes. made with real original keebler fudge. only elves can make cookies this good! keebler® - made with magic, loved by families™.
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i's time for music. this album is called "the album." comes out may 28th. with the song "drinking beer, talkin' god, amen," chase rice! [ applause ] ♪ ♪ firewood crackle in the fall air red dirt playing on the radio ♪ ♪ big dipper hanging high up there breathe in the backwoods ♪ ♪ and let it go i ain't never been the church going type ♪ ♪ can't quote much past 3:16 even though it's a friday night ♪ ♪ church found me sittin' here drinkin' beer talkin' god amen ♪ ♪ killing time livin life with some down home friends when the worlds gone crazy ♪ ♪ man it all makes sense sittin' here drinkin beer talkin' god amen ♪ ♪ amen ♪ ♪ gotta thank him for a little piece of dirt little peace of mind ♪
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♪ from a cold one gotta country angel i don't deserve ♪ ♪ the kind that you never let go of i don't know what ♪ ♪ heaven looks like nah i don't think anybody does ♪ ♪ if it's like down here up there tonight there's folks like us ♪ ♪ sittin' here drinkin' beer talkin' god amen killing time livin' life ♪ ♪ with some down home friends when the world's gone crazy man it all makes sense ♪ ♪ sittin here drinkin beer talkin god amen ♪ ♪ i don't know what heaven looks like, and who the hell does ♪ ♪ if it's like down here up there tonight, there's folks like us sittin here drinkin beer. talkin' god amen killing time livin' life
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with some down home ♪ ♪ friends sittin here drinkin beer talkin' god amen ♪ ♪ killing time livin' life with some down home friends when the world's gone ♪ ♪ crazy man it all makes sense sittin here drinkin beer talking god amen ♪ ♪ amen ♪ ♪ talking god amen, sitting here drinking beer, talking god am amen ♪ >> yeah, baby. >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz, the best or nothing.
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and i are very proud of you. good night. this is "nightline." >> tonight, striking the hearts of families, searching through the rubble, torn apart by deadly violence escalating between israel and hamas. >> getting my flak jacket on. all the booms in the air here. let's go. >> matt gutman on the ground in the conflict zone. and the protesters around the world taking sides. plus making history -- >> so help me >> tashara jones joining a nation of pioneers running and winning elections. now imagine a city troubled by racial injustice. >> in order to move forward, we have to have those
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