tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 28, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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i'm ama daetz. >> and i'm dan ashley. we appreciate >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- shaquille o'neal, patton oswalt, and music from chase rice. and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i appreciate it. hey, you know what? i'll tell you something. it's monday. it's not so different from most mondays except for one kind of big thing, and that big thing is -- ufos. did you see "60 minutes" last night? i know you're laughing. i'm not joking. did you see -- no, you didn't see -- >> guillermo: no, i didn't watch it. [ laughter ] . >> jimmy: the truth is not just out there anymore. it's here. "60 minutes" did a story last night, in which they interviewed some very credible former
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pentagon and military officials. who had video and eyewitness accounts of objects that fly 13,000 miles per hour, drop 80,000 feet in less than a second, and go underwater. the government calls them "unidentified aerial phenomena." uap. just like the cardi b. song. [ laughter ] they've known about this for a couple of years, but waited until now to talk about it because, i guess, a couple of years ago, they would have been too embarrassed if the aliens said, "take us to your leader." they'd be like not a great idea. i can't believe so many people didn't see it. i feel like if this story had been on "60 minutes" in 1988, it would be the only thing we talk about for the next 30 years. it would have been the biggest news story of the year. now it's like, "yeah." i heard that. trying get freaky with one of s- his employees, right? [ applause ] after watching the story, you should if you haven't, you almost hope they're visitors from another planet. because if china has technology
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like this we'd better learn to speak mandarin like immediately. i have so many questions. i want to know where they come from, what kind of engines or fuel propels these things. what information -- what is this information they've been trying to find in hillbillies' butts for all of these years? that's what i want to know. poor mike pence is missing all of this. this was his shot to suit up in that space force bomber jacket and blast off to the crab nebula. and now he's not -- so we're not alone. by the way, we're really not alone because after 14 months of being on our roof our band is back in studio! [ cheers and applause ] say hello to cleto and the cletones! cleto sr., toshi, jonathan, jimmy, jeff babko, and cleto escobedo, our band finally back. and i'm going to say this. there's nothing more rock and roll than being separated by plexiglass dividers. you want to give us a little something?
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since you're back. come on, give us something. ♪ all right. a little rusty. but they'll get the magic back. [ applause ] jonathan, you're going to be -- i've really been missing the rimshots. so i'm going to need some. give me just one to see what it sounded like. [ rimshot ] yeah, that's what i like. [ applause ] when you have that you don't even have to be funny. you really don't. this is funny. we learned over the weekend that joe biden had a venmo account. i say had because he had to delete it. he aparentally used it to send money to his granddaughters. it's weird to hear about a politician using venmo to pay teenagers for something other than sex. isn't it? [ rimshot ] [ laughter ] see what i mean? buzzfeed did a story about how easy it was for them to find it.
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biden's venmo account. and there are some interesting transactions. joseph biden paid shoeless gus for malarkey. paid huck for fixin' the doohickey. lil' bebop -- licorice whips. sal's electronics -- victrola repair. higgenbothem's apothecary for 1 jar of tooth powder. one more. and i think paid angela merkel, sorry for the weird hug. i don't know. who would have ever guessed -- if someone said what are the odds joe biden has venmo? you'd be like no way. this is like finding out the pope wears v.r. goggles. [ rimshot ] [ laughter ] i forgot how scary they are too. this was one notable payment request that biden did not accept. you know how trump claimed he was going to build a "garden of heroes?" he was going to build statues honoring a bunch of famous people jared googled for him? he announced this just before leaving office and, to no one's surprise, it isn't going to happen.
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president biden on friday revoked the executive order to build the garden of heroes. and, of course, republican lawmakers are cranking up the fake outrage machine. qanut, lauren boebert, of colorado tweeted, "biden canceled the national garden of american heroes because he hates america. hates our history. and is okay with cancel culture tearing down america's statues." right. i'm sure she's very upset about this. and that he hates america intensely. no site was ever selected for this garden. there were no plans. nothing was funded by congress. it's the quintessential donald trump project. no plan. no money. no promise kept. there wasn't even a site picked out for the garden. trump basically conceived it and then ditched it altogether. it was like tiffany, really, in a way. [ rimshot ] [ laughter ] remember the tiger king, joe exotic, who is currently in jail? you probably know he requested a pardon from trump. trump didn't bite.
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so now he's hoping the new president will bail him out. he took to twitter to beg for joe biden's help. here's how that conversation i'm guessing went at the white house. "mr. president, joe exotic is asking you for a pardon." "who's joe extic?" "the guy from 'tiger king.'" "what's 'tiger king'?" "a show on netflix." 'who's a netflix?" "okay, so that's a no." [ laughter ] by the way, you know who really deserves the name "joe exotic"? this smooth operator right here, maybe even joe erotic. [ laughter ] speaking of tigers, last week we were talking about this bengal tiger that was on the loose in houston. it is no longer on the loose. the wife of -- this is weird. of a prominent local mattress salesman, a guy named mattress mac, says she had the tiger at a private tennis club she owns. this tennis club is licensed to have wild animals. i went on their website. they have monkeys at this tennis club. i don't know if they go get the balls or what. it's a tennis club with monkeys.
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you better watch out, florida because texas is really making a run. [ laughter ] anyway, the tiger is safe. and in the custody of hpd major offenders commander ron borza. has the tiger. >> commander, it's been a long week looking for this guy. >> it really has. but we got him. and he's healthy. >> jimmy: okay. now i want a tiger. [ laughter ] if the idea was to warn people about how dangerous these wild animals are, mission not accomplished! at all. get me a tiger, guillermo, willu >> big exclusive. the 17th season of "the bachelorette" starts next month, and for the first time ever, we got an exclusive look at all the men who will be competing for kaie's attention. so many shows wanted this. "meet the press," "face the nation." oprah -- they were all desperate to get had. somehow we got it. we managed to wrest it away from
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abc.com. and so with a stack of headshots in hand i gathered my "bachelorette" crew to go through all the men in this first exclusive look at katie's harem. >> jimmy: cheers, everybody. oh, i can't wait to get into this. >> i know you love this. >> jimmy: i feel like it's christmas eve. are you ready to open the packages? >> can't wait. >> jimmy: all right. we begin with aaron. thoughts? >> hundreds of teeth. which is what's most important. >> jimmy: does have a lot of teeth. yeah, that's probably good. >> he's cute, though. what does he do? >> jimmy: he's an insurance agent. >> oh. nd.jimmy: his biggest frs a so hwi sleep eastonit.>> jimmy:. fi toronto.ht takes way too long. >> yes. >> jimmy: christian from boston. he's a real estate agent. he loves parades. >> no!
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>> who loves parades? >> jimmy: nobody i know. >> it's so hard to love a parade. it's not the 1930s. >> jimmy: conor b. >> best face of the bunch. >> yes. >> jimmy: guess what? he's a math teacher. >> oh, cute. >> congratulations. >> claims he can eat cereal faster than anyone. >> out. >> what do you mean he's out? >> that's not something to be proud of. >> that's a horrible sound. that's the worst sound you can hear. >> jimmy: what about this? [ slurping ] >> no. >> jimmy: that's bad too, right? >> yeah. >> this is -- >> he's cute. >> he's in the top two. >> you just struck him down because of his cereal. >> i don't want him to eat cereal around us. but his face is great and he's a teacher. >> cute. top two. >> jimmy: this guy with his hair, this is gabriel. he's an entrepreneur. which is french for unemployed. he believes that people should expect el gantd styles of the past. >> which means he's either gay or weird. >> jimmy: could be both.
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>> out is what he is. >> jimmy: yeah. he'll be the one everyone hates, right? yeah. >> jimmy: garrett is not a fan of tangy foods. >> i would not -- >> jimmy: who's not a fan of tangy foods? >> i like him. garrett's the guy you drans with at a wedding, your cousin's wedding. >> i don't want to go to dinner with him. >> jimmy: he's eliminate the a whole category of food that really doesn't even exist. >> i like him. >> jimmy: i don't. >> okay. >> jimmy: it's time for a dose of denim. here is jeff. >> no. >> jimmy: jeff is a skin salesman. this is weird. jeff actually sells artificial skin for medical procedures. >> there has to be another phrase than skin salesman for that. >> jimmy: jeff calls himself an exceptional lover. >> oh. >> jimmy: how would you know? >> he doesn't. >> a skin specialist of another kind. >> jimmy: this is justin. >> cute. >> jimmy: he does not like to dance. >> oh. >> jimmy: what? >> you know i like to dance.
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>> jimmy: well, we're not looking for a date for you. >> i'm just looking through my eyes and i like it when a guy can dance. >> jimmy: this is carl. he's a motivational speaker. oh, that's bad. >> that's scary. and they always need the motivation the most. >> yes. just like the hairdressers with the worst hair. >> jimmy: his nickname is sunshine. >> is it? >> jimmy: uh-oh. he's a proud and loyal belieber. >> i am too. >> you know what good eyebrows, which is actually my favorite part of the male face. >> and he will never, ever go bald. >> jimmy: he does have really good eyebrows. kind of a pete sampras john krasinski type of thing going there. marty is from reno and he's a dancer. >> wait a minute. what is that necklace and earring? >> marty brings the party. >> no, he doesn't. >> wait, he says that?er? >> jimmy: self-declared tag line, marty brings the party. ? he's very cute but with the jewelry and that line is no. >> jimmy: the way into marty's
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hearts is? >> the tightest thermal of all time. >> jimmy: courtney, spelled q-u-a-r-t, in-e-y. >> courteney cox spells her name all wrong. there's an extra e in there. >> jimmy: yeah, but it's not a q. don't go crazy. he's okay as long as he no longer speaks to his parents. his favorite accurate is to meet his friends for their brunch and book club. and he loves the harmonica. this is the guy i would pick. this is my guy. >> do you guys know that jimmy has nine harmonicas in the car? >> he also has a thing he wears around his neck and he plays harmonica while he drives. >> jimmy: a thing i wear around my neck? >> yeah. a necklace. >> jimmy: bob dylan wears one of those. you don't make fun of him, do you? >> it holds the harmonica? >> jimmy: so i can play the harmonica while driving the car. ♪
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people laugh when they drive by. andrew s. one of his favorite party tricks is imitating accents from around the globe. >> oh, he'll be canceled immediately. >> jimmy: he's very close with his 96-year-old grandmother. >> aw. >> aw. >> now we like him again. ooh, i don't like his turtleneck. >> jimmy: yeah, my 96-year-old grandmother's kind of a bitch. this is brandon. he's an auto parts manager from queens. oh, my -- how is this allowed in queens? what happened to queens? this is cody. he's a zipper sales manager. >> excuse me? >> jimmy: a zipper sales manager. >> bye, cody. >> jimmy: all right. conor c. former baseball player. oh, conor c. and matthew mcconaughey share birthdays. >> that's not an accomplishment. >> jimmy: josh. he has to sleep on the right side of the bed. and he starts celebrating christmas in october.
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>> no. >> jimmy: greg dreams of seeing lebron james play basketball in person. oh, wow. if only there was some way to make that dream come true. his name's hunter. he says he'll never stop believing in romance. this you're not going to like at all. i'm going to predict right off the bat. there's no picture of this guy. all there is is a box. and i guess he considers himself to be a gift to the world, to the bachelorette? >> i hope there's a gift receipt. >> jimmy: i hope he's four feet tall. i hope he gets out of the box and he's the size of the box. and it's delightful. and he scampers out of the box and we all go crazy. well, we did it. we went through all of them, we evaluated them and now i guess only time will tell. and by the way, i just want to say a quick -- one more toast. and thank you all for having your hair done to be here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: don't think it went unnoticed. you want to hear that noise again? >> oh, no. please! i hate that sound. ♪
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>> jimmy: we've got a great show for you tonight. patton oswalt is with us. we've got music from chase rice. and we'll be right back with shaquille o'neal. so stick around. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by mercedes-benz. it's the biggest thing that ever happened to small. lease the gla 250 suv for just $399 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. we're for those who love to discover.
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modok himself, patton oswalt is here. then later, this i his album. he named it "the album." music from chase rice. this week we've got quite a line-up with don cheadle, ryan seacrest, gabrielle union and dwyane wade. music from royal blood, lake street dive, and counting crows. so please join us for all that. our first guest is someone i always look forward to seeing him, even when he's not on the show. i can look out my window, and see him. he's just that big. starting tomorrow on tnt, he and his hall-of-fame "inside the nba" colleagues, give voice to the new state farm nba play-in tournament. please say hello to the great shaquille o'neal. hey, shaq. how are you? >> what's up, jimmy? how are you? >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> nice to see you too, sir. >> jimmy: well, first of all -- you know, before we get into all the congratulations i do want to ask you about the ufos, "60 minutes." did you watch last night? do you know what's going on? >> i did. i heard about it.
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>> jimmy: i feel like it's not getting as much attention as it should. as someone who is just physically closer to outer space an the rest of us, what is your take on what's going on? >> well, one, i totally believe in ufos. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. because i look at charles barkley and look at his body, he's definitely an alien. [ applause ] and you know what's crazy? i never told
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>> i can stand outside, see the moon. how come i stand in my yard, i can't see california, it's only 3,000 miles away? think about that. >> probably because you're only 8 feet tall. [ laughter ] if you were 9 feet tall you would be able to see california. shaq, i'm starting to suspect you maybe have been experimenting with marijuana, [ laughter ] but that has nothing to do with any of this. >> actually, no. no. >> jimmy: you are -- well, you're already in the hall of fame and you're again in the hall of fame as a broadcaster. [ cheering and applause ] with your guys on "inside the nba" which is a great show. i'm glad they thought, you know what we should put this show in the hall of fame. that has to be pretty exciting for you? >> it's very exciting. i think since i've been there, we've won seven to nine emmys. love working with the great charles barkley. listen, the reason why we got in the hall of fame is because of the great ernie johnson. he's just so fabulous, he's very professional. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ernie is fantastic. >> i know where my bread is
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bu i'm not going to sit up here and act like it's because of me or because of charles or kenny. i think ernie is the go-to guy. and then charles second and i'm third and kenny, since he sucks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kenny is a distant fourth? now i don't know if you thought about this, or if charles reminded you of this, but charles is now in the hall of fame three times. >> for what? he has no rings. he has no rings. what? >> jimmy: he is in as a player. he is in for dream team, and he is in with you guys on "inside the nba." so you're one behind him there. >> oh, my. [ laughter ] i don't believe that. >> jimmy: shaq, did you hear what jeanie buss said? they asked jeanie buss to rank her top five greatest lakers of all time. >> yes. >> jimmy: you were not on that list. she said kobe, kareem, magic, lebron and phil jackson. >> got it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jerry west was very upset about it.
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he made a comment about it. how about you? how do you feel about that? >> he definitely should have been on the list. look, i love the buss family. i love jeanie buss. she has always been a woman who speaks her mind. that's her opinion. i'm just glad to have been able to win three championships, have a lovely statue in front of staple center. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, you've become very -- you've really matured over the years, shaq. >> thanks. i have. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: obviously, kobe was inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. i see you got some pictures there behind you. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. >> jimmy: you and kobe together. you got one there. now kobe, obviously you guys had some ups and downs, but you ended as friends. and i -- kobe told me a story once, and i wanted to get your take on it. he said that you guys, it was a scrimmage, and i don't remember what the reason was. i don't know that he remembered even what the reason was. but you guys got in a fight and
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he threw a punch at you. do you remember that? >> no, i don't remember that one. >> jimmy: okay. well, he says he threw a punch at you, and he almost immediately realized that it was a terrible idea. [ laughter ] >> no, listen, i been in this league 19 years, and i had a lot of scuffles like that. i don't really remember that. i just wish that he was here to, you know, receive the prestigious award. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> knew he was going to be a hall of famer. his wife did a great job and his daughters, they looked beautiful. but i wish he was there. >> jimmy: yeah, same here. [ applause ] you know, this is kind of interesting because i was looking at steph curry had like -- he made like 300 three-pointers or something in this shortened season. you were the last mvp to -- who did not make a three-pointer at all, or the last scoring champion who did not even attempt or maybe attempted them, but did not make a three-pointer the whole season.
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that's really crazy. and i think it partly shows how much the game has changed. >> well, not only that, it also shows you that i was a bad mother -- [ laught >> jimmy: right. do you know how many three-pointers you attempted in your career? >> i think i was 1 out of 22. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. and here's the one, let's take a look. >> a couple of points. joe wolf inbound, shaq to catch, he's going to fire a three -- oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you remember that? >> yeah, i remember that. i remember i think i was telling coach hill, hey, man, we're up, we're going to win the game, let me shoot a three. he's like, no, i don't want to embarrass the other team, so what we're going to do, run the penny.and ght before came ouo to was li, rget that.i'm going to make it. and i'm going to look back at the coach like i'm the black steph curry. [ laughter and applause ]>> jim.
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get those grapes. >> are you guys going to compete? you get three shots. first up, dwyane wade. for the free-throw line. candace, underhand. wade. number two. oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: candace parker and dwyane wade throwing grapes at shaquille o'neal. hey, dwyane's going to be here i think it would be nice -- you played with him for quite some time. tell us something embarrassing about dwyane that i can bring up tomorrow. >> when i first went to dwyane's house in miami he was living in a terrible house.
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and i had to pull him to the side and be like bro, you need to fire your realtor and get a new house. he was living right near a trailer park. >> jimmy: is that right? why do you think that is? is he cheap? >> no, he didn't realize how big-time he was yet. >> jimmy: i see. >> i said bro, if you want to be big time, you got to look and feel big time. >> jimmy: last year, you guys wagered your mvp trophies on the finals, and you won. did dwyane pay up? did he give you the trophy? >> no, he has not. >> jimmy: he has not? are you expecting to receive that trophy? >> no. him and his wife, they post photos every day so i know where they live at. next time they're out of town i'm just going to break in and take it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. good thinking. so this state farm nba play-in tournament is something that has never happened before. this is -- well, explain exactly how it's going to work. i think i know, but you tell it. >> i think 9 plays 10.
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>> jimmy: 9 plays 10. > the loser of that is out. 7 plays 8. and i think the loser gets to play another game, something like that. >> jimmy: yeah, the loser plays 9, and then whoever wins that game gets that eighth spot. do you like this? >> man, i don't really like it, but it is what it is. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the lakers are in that position now. so i think it's vital that they win. especially if they want to repeat. >> jimmy: well, yeah. if they lose, they won't win. for sure. [ laughter ] yeah. >> correct. >> jimmy: i looked up the odds, though. do you ever look at the odds, the gambling odds from vegas? >> i'm not a gambler, i'm a role model, sir. [ applause ] >> jimmy: okay. i'll tell you, then. even though the lakers are kind of fighting for their lives with this play-in thing, they're still number two in vegas. the nets are the favorite. and then the lakers, and then you the clippers. do you think the lakers have a good chance to win this thing? >> i think if they -- if
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everyone is healthy and the shooters are shooting the ball well, definitely with lebron jmes you definitely have a chance to win. >> jimmy: i want to ask you a nonbasketball question. you were in a zales jewelry store and there was a guy in there. and correct me if i have any of this wrong. but he was paying for an engagement ring for his fiance. and you kind of overheard, you saw what was going on and you decided to pay for that ring. is that true? >> yeah, he was a young kid. i really respect hard-working young kids. i respect the hard worker period. and he was coming in, and he wanted to propose to his fiancee a couple of weeks earlier, but he didn't put all the money down on the ring yet. he was trying to tell the guy, hey, just let me take it and propose to her, i'll give you this amount and this amount. and the guy was like sir, i wish i could, but i couldn't. i told the guy, put it on my credit card. and the kid was like no, man, i don't take handouts. well, if you look over in that section, you see my jewelry in this thing.
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i own zales. don't worry about it. [ applause ] he took it. you know, it's actually something that i do all the time. >> jimmy: you did do that. what's the most expensive thing you ever bought for a stranger? >> most expensive thing i've ever bought was furniture for this old lady's house. i was in the store one day trying to get a couch, and i just saw this lady looking at a couch, and she was comparing the prices. and i said ma'am, just pay for that one. and she said oh, baby, thank you. my house just caught on fire. i just need a couch. i said your house caught on fire? what else do you need? baby, i don't want to do that. so we furnished the whole house. about 30,000. [ applause ] >> jimmy: nice. >> put a smile on her face. i was glad to be able to do that. >> jimmy: well, that is a very sweet thing to do. and imagine, i can only imagine when you walk into a furniture store how scared the couches are, you know? [ laughter ] >> you know, i have a small booty compared to guillermo.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're right. you're right. >> guillermo: oh, whatever. >> jimmy: shaquille o'neal, the state farm nba play-in tournament -- >> guillermo! >> guillermo: how are you? love you. >> jimmy: tournament starts tomorrow night on tnt. the hornets at the pacers, followed by wizards at celtics. there he is. double hall of famer shaquille o'neal. thanks, shaq! we'll be back with patton oswalt. ♪
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♪eh uh, eh uh♪ ♪flow (oh my gosh)♪ ♪where man go (oh my gosh)♪ ♪if a man see me (oh my gosh)♪ ♪i guess you never know what you got 'til it's♪ ♪flow (oh my gosh)♪ ♪where man go (oh my gosh)♪ ♪if a man see me (oh my gosh)♪ ♪i guess you never know what you got 'til it's♪ ♪eh uh, eh uh eh uh, eh uh eh uh, eh uh eh uh♪
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♪ >> jimmy: music from chase rice is on the way. our next guest is not a large man physically, but he has a shaquille o'neal-sized brain and a new project that will delight comic fans around the world. the animated stop-motion series, "m.o.d.o.k." >> you still can't use your mind blast. my dang shoulder. ahh! ♪ >> because it's cool. >> jimmy: there he is, modok himself, patton oswalt. hey, patton. >> jimmy, hey! how you doing? >> jimmy: i've been dying -- you
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know what? for somebody my age knowing modok, which is this kind of obscure super vil frn marvel comics. what year did modok premiere? >> i believe he premiered in captain america in 1964. and he has always been one of those bottom rung super villains. but i love, what me and my co-creator jordan bloom love about him, he is aware of where he is in the pecking order of super villains, and that is part of what makes him so angry. it's almost like he is angrier at the other villains than he is at the heroes, because no one is giving him any -- his props, he is this giant floating seven dimensional brain, but everyone treats him like he is just is a store brand. oh, yeah, whatever, modok, fine. whatever. and i love that about him. >> jimmy: he is a character. it almost seems like they came up with as a joke in a way. the name modok would never fly today. if you pitched modok, which what does modok stand for?
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>> it stands for mental organism designed only for killing. although my daughter pointed out the other night technically, his name should be modofk. the f should be in there. he's one of those marvel characters it's clear it was 5:00 and they said just think of something really quick. fill the five pages, whatever you draw. and the guy like jack kirby was in a bad mood when he drew it. you want this? drew a giant head with tiny arms. here. i'm going home. you can just feel the anger on the page coming off of modok. it's so great. >> jimmy: as a kid reading this comic book -- when you're a kid you read spider-man. oh, i can imagine myself as spider-man or ironman or any of these guys. did you ever imagine you would be modok? >> no. and not only did i not imagine i'd be modok, when i would read spider man, i would go some of his villains are kind of cool, the scorpion or doc ok.
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every now and then modok would show up. and by the way, modok, whenever he shows up in comics, he comes in screaming. he's immediately defeated. so the fact that that's the one that i got to play is just so -- bt we really leaned into the fact that he is a complete disaster. and that's part of the series which is really fun. >> jimmy: not only did you make the show, you also co-wrote with your buddy jason some of these comic books. and i have to tell you. >> yes. >> jimmy: i haven't read -- i don't want to say an adult comic book because i don't think that exists. i haven't read a comic book that wasn't targeted at 5-year-olds in quite some time. and i really enjoyed did. in fact, i got a little nervous. i'm like oh, yeah, i could see my wife divorcing me because of this. [ laughter ] >> yeah, we had a lot of fun drawing that, writing the comic because we were able to kind of link him into the bigger marvel universe. we had a lot of fun with the show.
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the idea, this is not a slob husband with a long-suffering wife. this is a guy who in the first episode, the wife is i'm divorcing you. this does not work. i'm leaving. and that becomes the plot. it's just really fun. >> jimmy: that is -- i love what you guys have done. and i love stop-motion animation too. it is another one of those things that just brings me right back to childhood. >> yes. yeah, that was kind of our thinking. we went to stupid buddy, the guys who do robot chicken at seth green's company. >> jimmy: right. >> if you have ever visited stupid buddy, it's like willy wonka's chocolate factory for geeks. it's every nerdy thing you've ever wanted in one building, and they're all building these different creatures and environments. we just loved the fact that because this was -- modok was created by jack kirby, who is this really big personality, that it's got to be 3-d. it's got to have that same big loud personality that modok has.
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>> jimmy: yeah, well, when you're just a head in a can with tiny little arms, you're probably going to overcompensate. >> literally that's all he can do. his superpower is overcompensation. i just now realized that. his super power is overcompensation. >> jimmy: patton, did you watch "60 minutes" last night? >> i did. yes, i did. >> jimmy: i can't like -- i think like 80% of our staff had no idea what i was talking about. am i nuts when i say this is what we should all be focused on right now? >> listen, i agree with what shaq said earlier. and by the way, i'm broadcasting. i'm in his pocket right now. i'm in his shirt pocket. but no, here is what is frustrating for me. i've never personally seen a ufo or a ghost or experienced a time shift or anything like that. but i'm very, very open to that existing. and i'm surrounded by people, friends and family who have seen and encountered ufos.
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my dad was a test pilot in the marines all through the '60s and '70s. and when he was stationed at el toro he said pilots -- talk to any pilot, they see all kinds of weird stuff up there but they just don't report it because they don't want to go into a crank file. so he said he was on a test flight and he saw a bunch of objects that he said they looked like glowing balls of energy in these round metal cages. and they were keeping track with the jets. and they would do these turns that you couldn't do under those g forces. and it would disappear. and when he came down and talked to his base commander and said hey, my squad saw -- and the base commander went were they metal cages with energy balls in them? he's like, yeah. he's like, do you want to report them? he says no, i don't. and the commander just went good, fine. and then like walked away. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. i mean, i'm just saying this new what is it called, atyp?
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that's the new thing that congress is doing to look at all these reports? >> jimmy: yes. >> are they going to also go back to project bluebook from the '70s where they were really going into -- is all that stuff locked away? what's going on? >> jimmy: well, i'll call you after the show and let you know what's going on. [ laughter ] by the way, speaking about a ball of energy inside a metal cage, it's modok right there. that's what your dad was foreshadowing. > wait a minute, oh, god! it's all happening! it's all coming together. jimmy, i've got to get out of the country. i got to go. >> jimmy: patton oswalt. you can see all the episodes of "marvel's m.o.d.o.k." starting streaming may 21st on hulu. thank you, patton. great to see you. we'll be right back with music from chase rice.
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[ applause ] ♪ ♪ firewood crackle in the fall air red dirt playing on the radio ♪ ♪ big dipper hanging high up there breathe in the backwoods ♪ ♪ and let it go i ain't never been the church going type ♪ ♪ can't quote much past 3:16 even though it's a friday night ♪ ♪ church found me sittin' here drinkin' beer talkin' god amen ♪ ♪ killing time livin life with some down home friends when the world's gone crazy ♪ ♪ man it all makes sense sittin' here drinkin beer talkin' god amen ♪ ♪ amen ♪ ♪ ♪ gotta thank him for a little piece of dirt little peace of mind ♪ ♪ from a cold one gotta country angel i don't deserve ♪ ♪ the kind that you never let go of i don't know what ♪
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♪ heaven looks like nah i don't think anybody does ♪ ♪ if it's like down here up there tonight there's folks like us ♪ ♪ sittin' here drinkin' beer talkin' god amen killing time livin' life ♪ ♪ with some down home friends when the world's gone crazy man it all makes sense ♪ ♪ sittin here drinkin beer talkin god amen ♪ ♪ ♪ i don't know what heaven looks like, and who the hell does ♪ ♪ if it's like down here up there tonight, there's folks like us sittin here drinkin beer. talkin' god amen killing time livin' life with some down home ♪
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♪ friends ♪ ♪ sitting here drink ibin beer talkin' god amen ♪ ♪ killing time livin' life with some down home friends when the world's gone ♪ ♪ crazy man it all makes sense sittin here drinkin beer talking god amen ♪ ♪ amen ♪ ♪ talking god amen, sitting here drinking beer, talking god amen ♪ ♪ >> yeah, baby. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. attention, california.
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>> jimmy: i want to thank shaquille o'neal, patton oswalt, and chase rice. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night -- gabrielle u and dwyane wade, kirby howell baptiste. we'll have music from royal blood. "nightline" is next. and i don't say this enough, but i want you to know, your mother and i are very proud of you. good night. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, vibing and thriving on tiktok. influencers celebrating their disabilities. shining a light on those often overlooked. >> people ask, where's this community been this whole time? like, right here, the whole time! >> getting real on what privilege and inclusivity look like. plus the street chaplain with the weak and watery. >> are you okay? >> training at-risk youth to beat back a stark reality. when opioid addiction, gun violence and covid collide in the streets of philadelphia. >> what you see on the streets is before the pandemic, this is ongoing. ♪
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