tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 5, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
11:35 pm
that is it for us tonight. thanks for preciayo >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- zooey deschanel. sam richardson. a guy who got swallowed by a whale, and music from kodak black. and now jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. thank you very much. hi, i'm jimmy. i am the host of the show. thanks for watching. oh, man. we have quite a show for you tonight. we have quite a few things on tap. i have a major announcement to make tonight. we have a miracle at sea. a man who was swallowed whole by a sea creature, and is here to tell us about that experience. [ cheers and applause ] and we also are following the travels of joe biden, who spent the day in geneva for a much-anticipated summit with rootin' tootin' vladimir putin. [ laughter ]
11:36 pm
biden was there to convey that the united states will not tolerate any more malarkey, shenanigans, or panky of the hanky type. at all. [ laughter ] he told reporters he's seeking a predictable and rational relationship with russia. which happens to be the same thing i told my wife when we exchanged wedding vows. [ laughter ] the meeting was shorter than expected. it was supposed to go four or five hours, but they wrapped it up in less than three. i had a feeling those two weren't going to make it to the hometown date. [ laughter ] but things got off to a somewhat chaotic start when the proceedings were briefly obstructed by a very stubborn photographer who got right in front of the camera that feeds every news channel. >> could you move? i can't get a shot of both of them. can you move? because we can't get a shot. can you move? this guy's got to move. >> sir. i told you, go away, please. gw
11:37 pm
by the way, all that obstinance for this picture that pretty much everyone got? by the way, do you recognize the background in that shot? take a look at it closely. that is the same background they used at the olan mills portrait studio in 1983. [ laughter and applause ] president biden -- this was a little weird. he actually brought a gift for his russian counterpart. he gave putin a pair of custom aviator sunglasses. "hello mr. murderer, i brought a gift for you. try 'em on, they're just like mine." [ laughter ] trump had to be so jealous. he loved his sugar vladdy so much. [ laughter ] one compliment from vladimir putin, trump never stopped talking about it. >> you know, putin said donald trump is a genius. >> putin called me a genius. >> vladimir putin said, donald trump is a genius. he's going to do very well. >> putin said, donald trump's a genius. >> then putin said, donald trump is a genius, he's going to be the next great leader of the united states. >> he said one nice thing about me, he said i'm a genius.
11:38 pm
>> when putin tells everybody donald trump is a genius, then i have people saying you should disavow. i said i'm going to disavow that? >> i said i'm not disavowing he called me a genius. are you crazy? >> guy calls you a genius, you're not going to disavow, do we agree? only a stupid person would disavow. no genius would disavow being called a genius. >> why i would disavow? guy calls you a genius, is anybody going to disavow? >> and my republican opponents said you have to repute that. i said, i'm not reputing it when somebody calls me a genius, why would i repute that? [ laughter ] why the hell would i repute that? >> jimmy: i believe the word you're looking for is refute, not repute, but then i'm not a genius. and this is the best part. dummy donald was so excited to tell everybody putin called him a genius. but did he call him a genius? well, the fact checkers say -- no, he did not. of course he didn't. [ laughter and applause ] probably called him a "penis" and trump heard it with a "g." [ laughter ] much of the conversation between putin and biden today was
11:39 pm
focused on cyberattacks. biden hinted strongly that the united states would take action if the russians continue with the election meddling and ransomware. biden threatened to hit putin with captcha codes that have so many fire hydrants he'll never get through. [ laughter ] and when asked whether he can trust putin, biden said, "let's see what happens. you know, as that old expression goes, the proof of the pudding is in the eating it. we're gonna know shortly." [ laughter ] there's also another expression that goes "if vladimir putin gives you pudding, don't eat it." [ laughter ] because it's probably filled with plutonium. [ applause ] speaking of exotic joes, the tiger king, joe exotic is still in prison. he is serving a 22-year sentence for soliciting a hitman. but that hasn't stopped him from spreading his business wings. joe announced via twitter that he is launching a line of cannabis products. from jail. edibles and smokables too. boy, between the tigers and the prison and the weed, does anyone
11:40 pm
else think it's weird that joe exotic and mike tyson are following the exact same post-boxing career path? [ laughter and applause ] all he needs now is half a face tattoo. you know who just got a book deal? donald trump's son-in-law, jared, has signed on to write what his publishers promise will be the definitive recounting of the trump administration. it tells the story about jared kushner's meteoric rise from nordstrom's mannequin to sycophant son-in-law to white house incompetent. [ laughter ] the book isn't due out until next year, but they're already adapting it into a movie directed by surprisingly one of the best and most respected directors working today. >> this summer, from the wonderfully predictable mind of director wes anderson, comes the story of a privileged white guy in a slim fitting suit. >> my name is jared kushner. >> who married into an eccentric, well-off family. but the divisive, narcissistic
11:41 pm
patriarch, and quirky in-laws with sad father issues, with lots of creepy, symmetrical shots and an awkward, incestuous love triangle. ♪ "the jared kushner chronicles: fellowship of the tactical vest." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i'll go see that, you know? why is joe exotic selling weed and this guy isn't? his name is kush-ner for god's sake. [ laughter ] baseball is back. you know, about half the stadiums are allowing capacity crowds now with more to come this weekend. and i'd like to congratulate eight time all-star and three-time cy young award winner pedro martinez, who tonight unwittingly threw out the unintentional joke of the day right down the center of the plate. >> guess what, it's my game and i dictate how i want my balls to be rubbed up. [ laughter ]
11:42 pm
if you do a good job of rubbing the balls the way i wanted them and i didn't feel comfortable, i was going to do whatever. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i feel exactly the same way, thank you. all right. i promised it and it's time for the major announcement. i announced i would be announcing, and now it is time to announce that, you know, there are few american traditions more exciting than a college football bowl game. the tradition, the pageantry, and most significantly the sponsor names. there are so many memorable, colorful names. the r&l carriers new orleans bowl. the roofclaim.com boca raton bowl. [ laughter ] the tropical smoothie café frisco bowl. the lending tree bowl. the cheez-it bowl. the list goes on and on. and ever since i was 52, which was last year -- [ laughter ] -- i have dreamed of having a college football bowl game named after me. and tonight, i am thrilled to announce that that dream has finally coming true. lebes goautiful sofi stadium he
11:43 pm
in los angeles. [ cheers and applause ] which is now the site of the inaugural jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl! that's right! [ cheers and applause ] that's the name of the bowl game. this is history in the making. never before has a bowl game been named after a human being. and papa john doesn't count. he's barely human. [ laughter ] this is our drumline. this is the official drumline of the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl. you can see they're very talented. you can also see that the bass drummer is -- [ laughter ] looks a little bit like our missing security guard, guillermo. guillermo, i thought you were sick! >> guillermo: i cannot hear you! there's too many drums! >> jimmy: yeah, okay, all right. i guess he can't hear me. there's too many drums. he does seem to be getting a lot of pleasure out of beating me across the face. [ applause ] well done, gentlemen and ladies. this is not a joke, this is a real bowl game.
11:44 pm
named after me. so mark your calendars for saturday, december 18th for the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl here on abc. [ cheers and applause ] it'll be an early christmas gift for all of us. right, guillermo? >> guillermo: what, jimmy? >> jimmy: hey, guillermo. how about you kick me a field goal for good luck? >> guillermo: okay, jimmy, whatever you say. >> jimmy: oh, look at that. how you feeling, guillermo? you all right? >> guillermo: i'm feeling great, fantastic. >> jimmy: how many tequilas have you had? >> guillermo: no tequila, just cough medicine. >> jimmy: beautiful, all right. [ laughter ] you are attempting a 20-yard field goal. this will set the tone for everything. we all believe in you, guillermo. are you ready to do this? >> guillermo: i'm ready. >> jimmy: let's get the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl kicked off. here we go! give it a whack, guillermo. >> guillermo: ready? >> jimmy: yes.
11:45 pm
you made it! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah! i made it, yeah! >> jimmy: there you go. went right under the uprights. thank you, guillermo. >> guillermo: yes, jimmy! >> jimmy: oh, boy, this is exciting. we have a good show for you tonight. zooey deschanel is here. sam richardson is here. kodak black is here. but when we come back we'll meet a lobster diver from new england who literally entered the belly of the beast. >> michael was diving off his lobster boat near provincetown. he says he was in that whale's mouth for a good 20 to 30 seconds before the whale surfaced and spit him out. >> all of a sudden i saw light, and i was thrown from his mouth. he was shaking his head, trying to eject me out of his mouth. >> all of a sudden i see mike feet-first coming out of the water like this. >> never heard of anything like this before. >> jimmy: a man who was swallowed by a whale will be here in our studio to tell his tale next. so stick around. rk.
11:46 pm
>> guillermo: yeah, yeah! blueprint >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by geico. isn't just about time, you know. it means experience. i mean, put it this way. if i told you i'd been jarring raspberry preserves for 85 years, what would you think? (humming) well, at first you'd be like, "that has gotta be some scrumptious jam!" (humming) and then you'd think, "he looks fantastic! i must know his skin care routine." geico. saving people money for 85 years. beg your pardon. hinkhe geico. saving people starbursstarburst? juicy?
11:47 pm
juicedratic equation. super top-secret mathematical formula they keep stored inside a safe, inside a vault, inside a volcano. ahhh. juicedratics. starburst. unexplainably juicy. feeling stressed in your skin? not with new olay retinol body wash. which improves skin 3x better. from dry and stressed, to bright and smooth. so, i can feel my best in my skin. olay body. fearless in my skin. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [forecast weather] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
11:48 pm
rush hour will never feel the same. experience thrilling performance from our entire line of vehicles at the lexus golden opportunity sales event. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. is someone trying to steal your butterfinger? call the bfi. whoa... i'm going in. [alarm beeping] ♪ no one lays a finger on your butterfinger. todd! wait! how are you still so unsure of this steven? what am i supposed to do? leave my family? -yes! -stop overthinking it steven! book the bachelor party in vegas! thanks, captain obvious. booking a trip can feel dramatic, but with free cancellation you can't go wrong with hotels.com. cheez-it snap'd! they're on a mission to save every sandwich
11:49 pm
11:50 pm
♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back to the show. zooey deschanel, sam richardson, and music from kodak black are all coming up. but first, a man who went inside a humpback whale the hard way this weekend. he traveled 3,000 miles and endured numerous nose swabs to be here with us in studio. all the way from provincetown, massachusetts please welcome captain michael packard and first mate josiah mayo. [ cheers and applause ] gentlemen, thank you for coming here. we really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] what a strange, what a strange -- i guess my first
11:51 pm
question should be, had you been swallowed by a whale before? or was this your first? >> jimmy: no, you had not, this is your first time. we built this for you. i heard you freaked out a little when you saw it. [ laughter ] >> i did. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was like -- i thought about it and i was like, no way am i getting in that. [ laughter ] i'm going back to cape cod! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you -- >> then i thought about it harder and i said, you know what? it's the perfect celebration of life. i survived. >> jimmy: you sure did. >> i survived. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you survived and this is not the first -- >> my two boys are home watching this. >> jimmy: how old are they? >> they're 12 and 16. >> jimmy: what are their names? >> jacob and josiah. >> jimmy: did they believe you -- did you name josiah after josiah? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: how about that? you guys are tight. all right. so just to set the stage, first of all, this is not your first near-death experience. you were in a plane crash with
11:52 pm
fatalities. you've been face-to-face with great white sharks. you discovered a body in the ocean. you've been through a lot of stuff. >> i have. >> jimmy: you might be bad luck, actually, josiah. [ laughter ] you might want to be careful. last week you were swallowed by a whale. >> i wasn't swallowed, jimmy. i was in his mouth. >> jimmy: well -- >> let's get that straight. >> jimmy: i got a show to do, and i'm going with swallowed. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you were in his mouth, okay. you weren't swallowed, interesting. i guess there is a difference, yeah. because if you were swallow you would have come out the other end, huh? [ laughter ] all right, so you guys are out on the boat. you're fishing for lobster, you're diving for lobster. and you do it like the old-fashioned way? >> correct. >> jimmy: yeah. you dive down there. you grab them with your hands. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah. josiah, tell us what you witnessed. >> well, we'd done a couple of dives, and we caught a couple hundred pounds of lobster, something like that. he went down for a third dive.
11:53 pm
everything was normal. he kind of drifted away. his bubbles went away from the boat. and then i just saw a huge boil, splashing, slashing all over the water. and i thought, oh, man, this is it. this is that shark attack that we're always, you know, worried about. then i saw whale parts. i saw whale fluke. the whale's head. then i suddenly knew it wasn't a shark attack, but still something crazy was happening. then michael shot out of the water. i could see his little legs kind of flying out of the water. just out of the boil, an eruption of white water. >> jimmy: then you come up. and you -- i mean, i guess -- well, first of all, what were you experiencing while you were under the water? >> well, when it first happened, like josiah said, i was descending, i almost got to the bottom. i was at about 35 feet. and i just got hit by a freight truck. just -- bang! and then everything just went instantly dark.
11:54 pm
and i'm just moving, traveling fast through the water, and i'm like, what the heck, did i just get eaten by a shark? and i was like, no, sharks' mouths aren't that big. and i don't feel any teeth. oh, great! i didn't get eaten by a shark! [ laughter ] [ applause ] but -- but i'm in a whale's mouth! what the hell do i do? >> jimmy: you knew, you were aware while you were in there, you were inside the whale? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: when you said you could feel yourself moving through the water quickly, it was almost like being in a submarine or something where you were feeling motion? >> exactly, yeah, a submarine or a car or a motorcycle. but with water just rushing. >> jimmy: did you begin to struggle and let the whale know that you were in there? >> i was struggling and banging and kicking. and just thinking, there's no way i'm going to get out of this unless he decides to let me go. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm dead. >> jimmy: wow.
11:55 pm
you had all of those thoughts. how long were you in there? >> i would say approximately 30 to 40 seconds. >> jimmy: i'm sure you've heard from a lot of people, have you heard of this ever happening to anyone before? besides the bible? >> just since this happened, i just saw a cameraman in south africa. >> jimmy: wow. oh, i'd love for you to meet him, wouldn't that be fun. [ laughter ] you guys should have a club. and so then you call 911? >> yeah, we got him back in the boat. a friend of ours helped me lift him back on the boat. we first communicated with him. i pulled the boat up to him, you know. what's going on? you're okay, you're okay? he said his leg was broken, he thought his leg was broken. we pulled him on the boat. >> the first thing i said was, i was in the [ bleep ] whale's mouth! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and so then -- josiah, you called michael's wife? >> yeah. >> jimmy: explained this to her? >> i tried not to.
11:56 pm
i just tried to say, michael's okay. always lead with, michael's okay, but. >> jimmy: oh this has happened before? >> any time there's anything on the boat. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah, i called her and let her know. she had to call me back shortly after to verify what she'd just heard, you know. [ laughter ] and i was trying to downplay it. no one would believe it with the ambulance or with her. i was -- just said, we had an encounter with a whale. i didn't want to go into it. >> jimmy: did you sense that the lobsters were watching and felt like they were getting some kind of revenge? [ laughter ] maybe they were in cahoots with the whale. michael, you said that somebody asked you on reddit if you -- who would you want to play you in a movie about your life. you said matt damon. i just wonder why you would aim so low. [ laughter ] i mean, if he does play you, can the whale eat him? can that be his final destination? [ laughter ] [ applause ] this is really one of the craziest stories i've ever heard. you're probably going to be telling this story until the day
11:57 pm
you die. i mean, it is -- at first i thoght, there's no way that really happened. then i saw you guys on the news. i was like, oh yeah, these guys don't seem to be lying. they seem like honest guys. > yeah, that's one of the cool things about the story is that, you know, it happened to someone like michael with his reputation. if it was some yahoo, all we'd be doing is arguing whether it happened or not. and because it's michael with his reputation as a high line fisherman, guys who don't exaggerate about stuff ever. >> jimmy: that's a great lesson for humpback whales. if you are to swallow someone, find a credible individual, someone who's respected in the local community. [ applause ] we have a few gifts for you, michael. i don't know if you have "free willy" on dvd, but that's something for you. we got you, this is going to come in handy, this is "mo-be-gone" whale repellent. this shirt, one of a kind, nobody else has this, "kiss me, i got swallowed by a whale." i don't think we could really
11:58 pm
ever do this without a nod to tom carvelle, and we made you a special fudgy the whale cake with a guy inside him. >> i just want to say something. >> jimmy: yes, go ahead. >> i want to apologize to the whale for getting in his way. [ laughter ] and i won't ever do it again. >> jimmy: if the whale is watching tonight. yes. well, thank you guys for coming out here. what a journey this has been. >> one other thing. >> jimmy: yeah? >> you know, i try to make a living. if anybody ever wants to buy any of my lobsters, i sell them through a wholesale guy, they're called wellfleet shellfish company. >> jimmy: why don't we get -- >> massachusetts, they can contact them. >> jimmy: why don't we send this big whale with you, then you could pile the lobsters up in here and sell them. [ cheers and applause ] josiah and michael, the whale guys. we'll be right back with zooey deschanel! ♪
11:59 pm
welcome to allstate. ♪ ♪ you already pay for car insurance, why not take your home along for the ride? allstate. here, better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands. click or call to bundle today. does scrubbing feel like a workout? scrub less with dawn platinum. you're in good hands.
12:00 am
its superior formula breaks down and removes up to 99% of tough grease and food residue faster. so you scrub less. tackle grease wherever it shows up. scrub less. save more. with dawn. (vo) parents have a way of imagining the worst... ...especially when your easily distracted teenager has the car. at subaru, we're taking on distracted driving... ...with sensors that alert you when your eyes are off the road. the subaru forester. the safest forester ever.
12:01 am
12:04 am
>> jimmy: hi there. tonight on the show, from the new movie "the tomorrow war," sam richardson is here. then later, he is celebrating another year of life with this new ep, "happy birthday kodak." music from kodak black. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, dax shepard, monica padman, and tony hale will join us, and we'll have music from saweetie. our first guest is an emmy and grammy-nominated singing actress and acting singstress who is so committed to love she is hosting a game show with michael bolton. "the celebrity dating game" airs mondays at 10:00 here on abc. please say hello to zooey deschanel. [ cheers and applause ] hello, zooey. >> hi. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm great, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing good. zooey, have you before ever been swallowed or maybe just mouthed by a whale? >> no, i have not. that was a really interesting story, though. >> jimmy: you're still young, give it time. [ laughter ]
12:05 am
you've got a lot of guitars. you've even got a banjo on top of your head there. >> i do, i do. i get crazy with it. >> jimmy: you have a serious case of banjo head going on right now. >> that's what they call me sometimes. >> jimmy: you're at home? >> i'm at home, yeah. >> jimmy: are you staying indoors to be safe? >> i've been dipping my toe in the pool of possibility. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what have you been doing? >> i went -- i've gone to a couple of restaurants. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> which was really fun. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> crazy. like -- i went to the movies. >> jimmy: okay. >> it's -- it's just sort of amazing how -- i mean, how great it is just to do normal things and how much i appreciate them. >> jimmy: yes. and yet you didn't come here tnight, you stayed at home. [ laughter ] >> well, you guys were like, you can only bring one person. and i was like, i can't choose who to bring. >> jimmy: so everyone else -- >> everybody's got to be here. >> jimmy: zooey, you are hosting, and this is not news to you, i'm fully aware that you are fully aware of this. but you are hosting "the celebrity dating game. >> yes, that's correct. >> jimmy: with michael bolton.
12:06 am
and i found out about this from the billboard. i saw the billboard and i thought -- >> you're mad i didn't e-mail you to tell you, right? >> jimmy: no, i didn't expect a personal message from you on it. >> okay. >> jimmy: i did think, well, that's kind of a funny idea that these two would host -- would actually even be in the same room together. >> yeah, and you were like, but it's also what i always wanted, right? >> jimmy: yeah, it kind of works, i guess, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how did this come to pass? >> yeah, i mean, it was february. i got a call from my agents. they were like, do you want to cohost "the celebrity dating game" with michael bolton? and i was like, 100% yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you feel that celebrities need help getting dates? because based on what i've seen they do not. >> they need help from me. >> jimmy: do you worry at all, is there any pressure? you have celebrities on, they've got three contestants to choose
12:07 am
from. are you in any way worried that some lasting relationships will come out of your show and none will come out of "the bachelor" that precedes you? [ laughter ] >> oh, you know what, i -- that would be my hope. is that i win and they lose, right? isn't that what everybody hopes? >> jimmy: one of the fun things about the original "dating game" was when the contestant, the person who was being solicited, would come and finally see the three people that he or she had been talking to the whole show. and realize that they'd made a terrible mistake. [ laughter ] that they'd picked the wrong one. has that happened to you there with the celebrities? >> well, so i'm the host, and i'm not allowed to tip the scales in any way. like it's apparently a really big deal, in the game show world that you're not allowed to tip the scales, because you will be in trouble, like with the federal government.
12:08 am
like the fbi will come and -- hat mouiz show" about that very subject. >> okay, so i never saw that movie. >> jimmy: yeah. >>ut they explained it to me beforehand and i was -- you know, i take rules seriously. so i couldn't go like, "pick number 2." i couldn't say anything like that. >> jimmy: right. >> there was one person i actually had this feeling like he was not the right person, he didn't seem as sweet as like one of the other contestants. and she chose the person that wasn't as nice. and he came around the corner and he like walked right past our beautiful celebrity and went straight for michael bolton. [ laughter ] right to michael bolton. >> jimmy: that's the kind of magnetic energy that michael bolton has, that kind of raw charisma. that you walk past a line of women that are dying to meet you, right to him. >> i'm not kidding you, a lot of people, a lot of the celebrities try to choose michael bolton. male and female.
12:09 am
and i was like, you can't choose michael, he's a host, that's against the rules. >> jimmy: it is against the rules. >> against the rules. >> jimmy: you yourself would not be a contestant on this game, for a couple of reasons. >> no. >> jimmy: number one, you're the host. but also because you are already in a serious celebrity dating game relationship, is that right? >> yes, that's correct, yes. >> jimmy: he is one of the famous property brothers from hgtv, your beau? [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, yes. he is. he's one of the property brothers. >> jimmy: it must be so odd to date an identical twin. because there's another -- which one -- which property brother are you with? >> i mean, does it matter? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i mean -- yeah, i think it -- i mean, technically they're different people, right? i was just wondering which one of the two, is jonathan or drew your person? >> is there an ian? or no? jnathan or drew? >> jimmy: i don't think there's an ian, no. >> i don't know.
12:10 am
i don't know, you know? i mean, who knows, right? >> jimmy: no, not who knows, right? what do you mean, you don't know? [ laughter ] >> i mean, i don't know. look. i don't know. okay? i don't know. >> jimmy: you have not asked them? you don't know which -- you don't call them by name? >> okay. you know what? look. we were introduced really quickly. you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> we were both there at the same time. it was fast, and i wasn't really paying attention, you know? but now it's kind of like too late to ask. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. [ laughter ] >> right? i do know that i'm dating the canadian one, which i thought was my clue, but turns out they're both canadian. [ laughter ] i thought that was statistically impossible but it's not. >> jimmy: no, yeah, it's almost the opposite of that.
12:11 am
let's see if we can figure this out. i've drawn up a chart here. >> wow. you put a lot of work into that. >> jimmy: yes. you haven't, clearly. [ laughter ] now, which -- >> i deserve that. >> jimmy: which brother is this? >> um -- isn't that one of the jonas brothers? >> jimmy: correct, that is one of the jonas brothers. i'm going to take him off the board. >> that was a trick one. >> jimmy: we're zeroing in. that leaves us with these two, who are side by side. now, i guess the question, we see you with this one. is this one -- this one -- do you think your boyfriend is the one with more or less facial hair? >> okay, okay. i do know he has like one of those beard trimmer thingies. does that help? >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] does he wear a lot of flannel? because flannel's more jonathan. >> ugh. it's so hard to remember. he does -- okay. i know he owns jeans. and he has brown hair. and he likes food. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, hold on, let me ask siri. hey, siri. which of the property brothers is dating zooey deschanel? [ laughter ]eerspplaus
12:12 am
oh, he's with you. >> yh, yeah. we came in together. >> jimmy: oh. well, then ask him, for god's sake. >> oh. i know you're one of the property brothers. which one are you? >> jonathan. >> he's jonathan. are you sure? >> i'm pretty sure. >> okay, okay. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how can you be sure? >> i write it on my hands. i write it on my hand every day. >> jimmy: oh, okay, jonathan. >> oh, it's been there the whole time? >> every day. >> oh. >> yeah. >> that makes it easy. >> jimmy: you know, it sounds to me like you guys have to work on your communication. [ laughter ] >> but i love him so much. >> i think we're doing fine. >> jimmy: i think we all do now. thank you, jonathan. thank you, zooey. zooey deschanel, "the celebrity dating game" mondays at 10:00 on abc. thanks, guys. we'll be back with sam richardson. ♪
12:13 am
♪ ♪ return to rugged. the all-new ruggedly redesigned 2022 nissan pathfinder. ♪ the all-new ruggedly redesigned 2022 nissan pathfinder. mr. clark, your daughter is a very good kisser. when you crave the uncomfortable, try spicy pringles scorchin'. (brad) how has apartments-dot-com helped more renters get into new homes than any other site? by working tirelessly to design 3-d virtual tours that are so realistic it actually feels like you're there. but that's all thanks to ted, a man who possesses an innate
12:14 am
understanding of dimension.uh. (brad) apartments-dot-com! (ted) sorry, i was in the zone. also my name is br the most popular place to find a place. not touching is still touching protection. adding lysol laundry sanitizer kills 99.9% of bacteria. detergent alone, can't. lysol. what it takes to protect. if there was a world championship for this... i'd be a sports legend. i'd be a household name. but there isn't. and i wouldn't do anything different if there was. nutro feed clean™ so with your home & auto bundle,
12:15 am
you'll save money and get round-the-clock protection. -sounds great. -sure does. shouldn't something, you know, wacky be happening right now? we thought people could use a break. we've all been through a lot this year. -that makes sense. -yeah. so... ♪ now's not a good time 3/5ths of nsync. are you sure? you have us booked all day. -read the room, guys. -yeah. right? start your day with crest 3d white and from mochaccinos to merlot, -yeah. your smile will always be brilliant. crest 3d white brilliance. 100% stain removal, 24 hour stain resistance to lock in your whitest smile. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america.
12:16 am
banana boat sunscreen is all about protecting the fun on earth. from making a splash fun... to exploring the world fun. our sunscreen is good for you and reef-friendly. banana boat sunscreen lasts as long as the fun does. ♪welcome back to that same old place♪ ♪that you laughed about♪ ♪well, the names have all changed♪ ♪since you hung around♪ welcome back, america. it sure is good to see you.
12:18 am
as the original whole grains bread? great question, dad. and it does. it has all the same nutritious deliciousness as the original slice but only a little bit smaller. just like timmy here. my name's lucas. it sure is bobby. ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. music from kodak black is on the way. our next guest survived five seasons of selina meyer on the great show "veep." now, he faces a deadly alien species in the new sci-fi thriller "the tomorrow war." it premieres july 2nd on amazon prime video. please welcome sam richardson. [ cheers and applause ]
12:19 am
♪ >> jimmy: you know, technically we're not supposed to shake hands but i couldn't help it. i'm a big fan of yours. i enjoyed your work on "veep" and on "detroiters." [ cheers and applause ] the stuff you do with your buddy tim robinson. you guys are fantastic together. thanks for being here. >> thanks for having me. sorry for shaking your hand. >> jimmy: not at all. i do want to offer you a little purell, if it makes you feel a little more comfortable, although i am very vaccinated. >> i believe you. >> jimmy: i actually got it three times. i assume this is your first action movie, is that right? >> it is. i've never done anything -- i've done a bit -- a bunch of comedy stuff. >> jimmy: a lot of comedy stuff. >> right. never an action movie like this. so it was -- >> jimmy: so when you're hired to do something like this that's really different, or maybe it's not that different, i don't
12:20 am
know, do you have a different approach to how you're going to do it? >> well, i mean, yeah. you know, just trying to figure out like what the -- like what am i supposed to do in this action movie. like what are the rules of action movies. >> jimmy: right. >> how do you prepare for one? and so i was going to -- so i did a charity event where i -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's great. >> charity event, you guys. >> jimmy: wonderful. >> isn't that nice. okay? this event called steps of faith that my friend -- [ cheers and applause ] steps of faith, guys. i mean, steps. and they're for faith. my friend billy brimblecom puts on in kansas, where it helps amputees get prosthetics. >> jimmy: that's good, yeah. >> and we -- and it's called thunder gongs.
12:21 am
we sing a lot of songs, celebrity guests come and sing. i did some songs with -- i did some songs with a big celebrity. >> jimmy: who? >> uh, his name is ben. uh -- >> jimmy: ben stein? >> no, not ben stein. >> jimmy: oh. >> only because i'm trying to think of his name right now. embarrassing. >> jimmy: oh, you really can't think of his name? i thought you were being cute about it. >> you know, this happens all the time to me. it's been my anytime for it to happen on a tv show. this is the first time -- >> jimmy: ben kenobi, probably. is it a singer? >> a singer. >> jimmy: ben folds? >> not ben folds. >> jimmy: ben harper? >> ben harper. so sorry, ben. harper. my best friend ben harper and i. it finally happened. okay. ben harper. we became friends.
12:22 am
we sang these songs together. one time i was at home, he calls me up and he's like hey, i'm doing a concert, why don't you come see it i said oh, sure. i go to the concert. it's at the hollywood bowl. i'm like wow, this is amazing. so i go to the bowl. see his show. then go backstage afterwards. and -- >> jimmy: i'm laughing. you really know him, i'm realizing. you really forgot his name. >> if you asked me what my cousin's name is i'd be like, uh-oh. >> jimmy: we'll save that for the end. >> yeah, exactly. he invites me backstage. he's introducing me to people. really great -- this is sam, he's a great singer. oh, thank you very much, very kind. and then, you know, like, oh, thank you. but then gerard butler comes backstage. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm like, gerard butler! i'm about do this action movie. he's an action superstar. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this must mean something, you know what i mean? serendipitous energy from the
12:23 am
universe. ben introduces me. he says, oh, this is sam, he's a great sier. oh, yeah?ike sing something. the full nightmare of panic. uh! everybody's sing something, sing something, sing something, sing something! everybody. and i'm just like panicking. what do you do? another nightmare of mine was that. then i'm like thinking, i look at my girlfriend, she's like, i don't know. i look at ben, he's like, yeah. then like, i go through my rolodex. i can't sing something serious, who am i to do that? i can't sing like happy birthday. >> jimmy: yeah, that's not enough. >> it's not enough, it's too much of a joke. i'm thinking. oh! so i start singing the theme to "family matters." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ it's a rare condition this day and age ♪ ♪ to read any good news on the newspaper page ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. charity.
12:24 am
ben harper. [ laughter ] so i'm out of it, like great, great, great. you know. then a guy comes up to me, like hey, that's hilarious, man, have you ever seen this video of adam devine singing all the themes to things, he's the guy who -- oh, okay, cool, great. he's looking through his phone, great. then i start talking to gerard. he's like, oh man, that was really great. i was like what are you up to? i'm going to shoot this movie in atlanta, it's like an action movie, it's going to be really cool. he's like, i've done a ton of action movies, can i give you some advice? i've got two pieces of advice that are really great, you can't live without. i was like, yeah, please, sure. from heaven this is coming. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's like, first thing, make sure you wear ear plugs. because you're shooting these guns, i've almost gone deaf because of the guns in your ear. make sure you wear ear plugs. i'm like, thank you so much. >> jimmy: yeah. >> second piece of advice, maybe the most important piece of advice is -- and the guy says,
12:25 am
"i found the video." [ laughter ] he shows us this video. we're sitting here watching this sketch on this phone. like okay, cool, cool. we're both like, yeah, all right. all of a sudden, everybody comes out from the party. so we all leave. so i was like -- >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> thanks, dude. >> jimmy: you didn't get the advice. >> didn't get the advice. so bummed. >> then you did the movie. >> then i did that movie. >> jimmy: oh, wow. you're going to have to reach out to gerard. >> yeah, i know, hopefully. like a week ago i was -- i'm staying in atlanta. i'm filming the movie right now. a week ago i was pulling out of this driveway. the place i'm staying has this driveway -- or has this garage right on this back street. so i'm pulling out. you can't see when people are walking by. i'm pulling out, two guys walk past, almost hit them, i stop real quick, whoops, sorry. they look in, keep on walking. i'm like, sorry. i'm like wait a minute-i think i know that guy. i pull forward, hey. hey, sam! all of a sudden the garage door
12:26 am
starts to close on my car. my buddy runs in, his friend, they grab the garage door, lift it up, and i drive out. the strength. oh my god, thank you! it was gerard butler. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you get the -- did you get piece number two of advice? >> i completely forgot. >> jimmy: you forgot, you're very forgetful. >> i've got to hope for the third one. >> jimmy: before we go, what is your cousin's name? go! >> duane. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "the tomorrow war" premieres july 2nd on amazon prime video. action movie star sam richardson, everybody. we'll be back with kodak black! [ cheers and applause ]
12:27 am
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ you guys got any signal? i've only got one bar, dad. huh. anything? i think it's getting weaker. experience hybrid performance that takes you further. what about now? nope. anything? i've got nothing. -perfect. -woah... and feel what it's like to truly connect. at the lexus golden opportunity sales event experience amazing at your lexus dealer. kinder bueno? woooooow. it's crispy.
12:28 am
it's creamy. it's not your average chocolate bar. smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer and creamy hazelnut filling. it's kinder bueno. what's the #1 retinol brand crispy wafer and creamy used most by dermatologists? it's neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair® smooths the look of fine lines in 1-week, deep wrinkles in 4. so you can kiss wrinkles goodbye! neutrogena® we do it every night. do it. run your dishwasher with cascade platinum to save water & energy.
12:29 am
certified dishwashers use less than 4 gallons of water per cycle. and you can also save up to $130 dollars per year on your energy bill. cascade platinum ♪ welcome to allstate, ♪ ♪are you down, d-d-down, d-d-down, d-d-down♪ where we're driving down the cost of insurance. ♪ ♪ are you down, down♪ ♪d-down, down? are you♪ drivers who switched saved over $700. ♪ allstate. here, better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands. click or call for a lower rate today. your mission: stand up to moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. and take. it. on... with rinvoq. rinvoq a once-daily pill can dramatically improve symptoms... rinvoq helps tame pain, stiffness, swelling. and for some, rinvoq can even significantly reduce ra fatigue. that's rinvoq relief.
12:30 am
with ra, your overactive immune system attacks your joints. rinvoq regulates it to help stop the attack. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious infections and blood clots, sometimes fatal, have occurred as have certain cancers, including lymphoma, and tears in the stomach or intestines, and changes in lab results. your doctor should monitor your bloodwork. tell your doctor about any infections... and if you are or may become pregnant while taking rinvoq. take on ra. talk to your rheumatologist about rinvoq relief. rinvoq. make it your mission. if you can't afford your medicine, abbvie may be able to help.
12:31 am
>> jimmy: this ep is called "happy birthday kodak." with the song "feelin' peachy," kodak black! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know i needed you why would leave me keeping it real every day ♪ ♪ it ain't easy sorry this ain't orange this is peach ♪ ♪ gotta keep a carbon in my reach pickin' calamari out ♪ ♪ my teeth baby this is peach gotta keep a carbon ♪ ♪ in my reach pickin' calamari out my teeth baby ♪ ♪ might just put them forgi's on
12:32 am
a jeep i keep spilling coffee ♪ ♪ on my jeans i don't like this talking i'm gone squeeze baby ♪ ♪ you know i needed you why would you leave me keeping it real every day ♪ ♪ it ain't easy cardigans weather it come out next season ♪ ♪ would you just stay with me please i'ma bless lil' mama ♪ ♪ like she sneezing scored a triple double for my nieces ♪ ♪ i just bought a rover for no reason i'm on house arrest ♪ ♪ i can't even leave locked up in the pen but i ain't peed ♪ ♪ the water dripping off me aquafina love my uncle ♪ ♪ uncle love my auntie auntie ♪ ♪ blowing all this money 'cause it freeze ♪ ♪ scamming in miami by the beach telling on your homies ♪ ♪ that ain't z boy i heard you ratted for a cheesecake ♪ ♪ this is peach gotta keep a carbon in my reach ♪ ♪ pickin' calamari out my teeth baby might just put them ♪ ♪ forgi's on a jeep i keep spilling coffee on my jeans ♪ ♪ i don't like this talking i'm gone squeeze baby snipers and the beams ♪ ♪ in lil' lil' haiti sipping on the lean but i ain't lazy ♪ ♪ bae check your saving she say don't waste it ♪ ♪ i been smoking coffee with the
12:33 am
p dev wn keep you healthy ♪ me what's the plea ♪ ♪ double nines on me i'm from the 18th louis v peach ♪ ♪ colored blanket dogging on these -- i got rabies ♪ ♪ hitting her from the back i told her face me i been getting a lot ♪ ♪ of money lately cardi b i hope you like your bracelet ♪ ♪ shawty say i'm handsome for a haitian i just rent the spider ♪ ♪ for the weekend lying on my -- but it ain't shrinking ♪ ♪ sorry this ain't orange this is peach gotta keep a carbon ♪ ♪ in my reach pickin' calamari out my teeth baby ♪ ♪ yuh might just put them forgi's on a jeep ♪ ♪ i keep spilling coffee on my jeans ♪ ♪ i don't like this talking i'm gone squeeze baby yeah ♪ ♪ cracka tryna tell me go to sleep i been writing ♪ ♪ lyrics after three brother told me -- stick to rappin' ♪ ♪ everybody know you 'bout yo action white girl say ♪ ♪ she feeling peachy i still smell the -- on my pinky ♪ ♪ bae that -- taste like tangerine sorry this ain't orange ♪ ♪ this is peach gotta keep a carbon in my reach ♪ ♪ pickin' calamari out my teeth
12:34 am
12:35 am
12:36 am
now, drinks, wi-fi and tips are always included. >> jimmy: thanks to zooey deschanel, jonathan scott, sam richardson, kodak black, michael, josiah, and the whale too for bringing us all together. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, dax shepard, monica padman, and tony hale, with music from saweetie. "nightline" is next. thank you for watching, good night!
12:37 am
tonight, the cost of saving a life. one child's battle against a rare and deadly disease. >> i noticed she really wasn't moving her legs. her legs did not move at all. >> will the most expensive drug in the world give her a fighting chance? just how much will insurance companies cover? >> it says amount billed $6,193,647.16. >> a family's race against time to give their daughter a future. >> does it feel weird to you to put a pricetag on something that seems priceless? >> this special edition of "nightline," "the price of a
205 Views
IN COLLECTIONS
KGO (ABC) Television Archive Television Archive News Search ServiceUploaded by TV Archive on