this is "nightline." >> tonight, reliving hell. from the front lines on january 6th. those in the trenches recount the horror of the capitol that day. >> i remember thinking there was a very good chance i would be torn apart or shot to death with my own weapon. >> the terror they experienced. >> this is how i'm going to die. >> now demanding accountability. >> telling the truth shouldn't be hard. plus american beauty's nina savaris. the former hollywood darling opening up about her pain behind the scenes. >> i was living on the floor, squalor. then i'm going to this

million dollar set and people are sprinkling roses on me. >> years of sexual abuse. >> a part of me died for sure. you're never the same. >> and how she found happiness. , fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in every bite. crunchy outside, chewy inside. ♪ tums, tums, tums, tums ♪ tums chewy bites does scrubbing feel like a workout? scrub less with dawn platinum. its superior formula breaks down and removes up to 99% of tough grease and food residue faster. so you scrub less. tackle grease wherever it shows up. scrub less. save more. with dawn.

♪ thanks for joining us. emotional testimony today in congress about the horrors of january 6th.

the attack that shocked the world. now nearly seven months after that infamous day, lawmakers, over the objections of some republicans, are vest investigating. hearing first from some of the police officers who put their lives on the line. here's abc's congressional correspondent rachel scott. >> heard chants of "kill him with his own gun." >> officers were being bloodied in the fighting. many were screaming. >> i could feel myself losing oxygen and recall thinking to myself, this is how i'm going to die. >> reporter: four men from the front lines forced to relive the terror of january 6th. >> bashing in the head, face, rupturing my lip, adding additional injury to my skull. >> reporter: men like daniel hodges, the officers who was crushed in that door. now putting their private anguish on public display. >> directly in front of me, a

man seized the opportunity of my vulnerability, grabbed the front of my gas mask, used it to beat my head against the door. >> january 6th, for the first time, i was more afraid to work at the capitol than in my entire deployment to iraq. >> reporter: the law enforcement officers' testimony a dramatic opening to the hearings, pushing back against those downplaying what happened on january 6th. >> the indifferece shown to my colleagues is disgraceful! >> there's really nothing more important, at least in my lifetime, than these hearings and getting to the bottom of how the chaos and carnage of january 6th happened. this is extremely serious in terms of not just human lives, but also the sanctity ofurcry m

>> reporter: despite praising the officers, some are brushing this investigation off as political theater. >> i don't think this hearing is about figuring out what actually happened that day, i think this hearing is aboutfonay pehe democrats. >> reporter: this is the first time the select house panel convened to begin its inquiry into the events on january 6th. when congress gathered to certify biden's election victory. thousands of trump supporters showing up for a stop the steal rally. >> we're going to walk down to the capitol. >> reporter: marching to capitol hill, overrunning the building, to stop the vote. >> there were a significant number of men dressed in tactical gear, wearing ballistic vests, helmets, goggles, military face masks. they appeared to be prepared for much more than listening to politicians speak in a park. >> there's no place for politics or partisanship in this investigation. our only charge is to follow the facts where they lead us.

>> the american people deserve the full and open testimony of every person with knowledge of the planning and preparation for january 6th. >> reporter: so far, at least 550 people have been federally charged in connection with the attack. an abc news investigation found at least 23 rioters have pleaded guilty. nearly 60 people arrested have possible ties to extremist groups. and at least four individuals are self-proclaimed white supremacists or white nationalists. tragically, five people died during or after the riot. >> it's clearncy pelosi has che the members to serve on this committee. >> reporter: the hearings have been clouded in controversy for months. many pushed for an independent, nonpartisan commission to investigate what happened on january 6th. similar to the 9/11 commission. after republican leadership opposed the idea, house speaker

nancy pelosi decided to convene a select committee with five democrats and five republicans. that fell apart last week. >> egregious abuse of power. pelosi has broken this institution. >> reporter: pelosi rejected two names on minority leader kevin mccarthy's list. congressmen jim banks and jim jordan. both have questioned the election results. >> they have made statements and taken actions that i think would impact the integrity of the commission. >> it's certainly about politics. the two lead impeachment managers are on the committee. adam schiff is on the committee. jamie raskin's on the committee. >> reporter: mccarthy called for a boycott of the committee. speaker pelosi then appointed two republicans of her own, liz cheney and adam kinzinger, both frequent critics of former president donald trump. >> i think what they have done has been blinded by their own ambition, to be perfectly honest with you. this is driven by not the truth of the facts but what they personally want to achieve for

themselves. and it's quite disappointing. >> if people want to get petty, that's fine. this is a historic moment, and this is a democracy-defending moment. and no matter the consequences to me, and i know liz will stand and defend democracy. >> reporter: support for trump's actions that day have split members of the gop. cheney was ousted from her position as the chair of the house republican conference. >> there are some in my party, including leader mccarthy, who continue to act as though this is about partisan politics. i think it's really sad. i think it's a disgrace. >> reporter: she says part of the investigation should examine how officials, including former president donald trump, influenced the rioters that day. she points to this audio obtained by "the washington post." >> there was a loving crowd too, by the way, there was a lot of love. i've heard that from everybody. many, many people have told me that was a loving crowd. >> how does that make you feel? >> it's upsetting.

it's a pathetic excuse for his behavior, for something that he himself helped to create. all of them, all of them were telling us, "trump sent us." >> reporter: during his testimony, capitol police officer harry dunn says what happened wasn't just political, it was deeply personal. >> i told them to just leave the capitol. and in response they yelled, "no, man, this is our house, president trump invited us here, we're here to stop the steal. joe biden is not the president, nobody voted for joe biden." i'm a law enforcement officer. and i do my best to keep politics out of my job. but in this circumstance, i responded. "well, i voted for joe biden, does my vote not count? am i nobody?" that prompted a torrent of racial epithets.

one woman in a pink maga shirt yelled, "you hear that, guys? this [ bleep ] voted for joe biden." no one had ever, ever called me a [ bleep ] while wearing the uniform of a capitol police officer. >> reporter: officer michael fanone, whose brutal beating was caught on his body camera, delivered a blistering message. >> what makes the struggle harder and more painful is to know so many of my fellow citizens, including so many of the people i put my life at risk to defend, are downplaying or outright denying what happened. i feel like i went to hell and back to protect them and the people in this room. but too many are now telling me that hell doesn't exist, or that hell actually wasn't that bad.

the indifference shown to my colleagues is disgraceful! >> will we be so blinded by partisanship that we throw away the miracle of america? do we hate our political adversaries more than we love our country and revere our constitution? >> reporter: in a major development, the department of justice sent a letter to former trump officials telling them they will be allowed to testify before the committee, and democratic leaders have said they aren't closing the door on issuing subpoenas to their republican colleagues, including jim jordan, or even trump himself. >> i mean, look are i got nothing to hide. i have had several conversations with the president. but again, the people who should be subpoenaed are the people who are responsible for making the decision not to have the national guardeplins are now vowing to do their own investigation. >> this cynical, really frankly malicious, notion of a parallel

investigation to undermine the facts is corrosive to the rule of law, democracy itself. >> reporter: meanwhile, the men who stood on the front lines saying they want answers and action. >> what were you fighting for that day? >> democracy. as patrol officers, we can only, you know, deal with the crimes that happen on the streets. you guys are the only ones we've got to deal with crimes that occur above us. i need you guys to address, if anyone in power had a role in this. >> telling the truth shouldn't be hard. fighting on january 6th, that was hard. showing up january 7th, that was hard. us four officers, we would do january 6th all over again. so what i ask from you all is to get to the bottom of what

happened. >> our thanks to rachel. up next, the personal struggles and triumphs of "american beauty" star mena suvari. tackling tough messes can take more time than you have, but mr. clean clean freak delivers the power of a deep clean in minutes unlike bleach sprays, ...clean freak starts deep cleaning on contact with three times the cleaning power to break down tough messes in seconds it quickly cleans your home's toughest messes so, for a deep clean in minutes, get mr. clean clean freak available in easy to switch refills and now get the cleaning power of mr. clean in a wipe to kill 99.9% of bacteria and viruses. (vo) imagine a visibly healthier pet in 28 days. purina one. natural ingredients... in powerful combinations. for radiant coats, sparkling eyes. purina one. one visibly healthy pet. try these purina one true instinct formulas for dogs. don't settle for products that give you a sort of white smile.

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♪ mena suvari was just 19 when her talents and raw beauty on the screen brought her fame and fortune. but what the cameras didn't show was an off-screen life of abuse and pain. she's now telling her story about how she overcame the

struggles that are no longer hidden. truly was grateful to have ias suvari, one of the most famous hollywood faces of her generation. but she says it was a mask, hiding a secret life of pain. >> you describe in your memoir living a double life? >> it was just like -- catapulted. >> into fame? >> i didn't really know what fame was. it wasn't something that i had ever wanted for myself. >> oh, hi. >> reporter: it was 1999. suvari starring in two blockbusters. "american beauty," which garnered five academy awards. and "american pie." the overnight fame thrusting a then 20-year-old suvari into the spotlight. ♪ there you were ♪ >> reporter: but underneath all those rose petals, suvari says she was suffering in silence. >> because i was sitting there,

i had all my stuff on the floor, i was living on the floor. squalor. and then i'm going to this mega million dollar set. and people are sprinkling rose petals on me. and i had to perform, because then at the same time, everybody wanted that from me. because it was successful. >> but you were such a good actress, even after they said cut that no one knew. >> yeah, because i couldn't talk about those things. >> reporter: she says her troubles returned when she left the set. >> you talk about being forced into extreme sexual encounters, essentially without feeling like you had the right to say no. >> a person should have the ability to decide. and because i didn't feel that i did, it was just constantly putting up with it. and it just -- caused me to completely unravel. when i was able to work on "american pie," that was everything for me. >> you should do what makes you

happy. >> that gave me a whole sense of purpose and -- >> and normalcy? >> yeah. work, art, saved my life. >> reporter: her memoir, "the great peace," begins with her finding her old suicide note. >> it was really, any way out. it was desperate. but then it was sort of -- i don't really know the right word, because i realized that my life got even worse after that. but i didn't know at the time that my life was going to get worse, and i was writing my suicide note. that's pretty sad. >> reporter: her sadness laced throughout her stories of sexual abuse, through a series of bad relationships. >> you describe at 12 losing your virginity, against your will, essentially. >> uh-huh. >> how did that affect you, do you think? in the moment, and rippling down the road? >> it still affects me. i mean, a part of me died that day, for sure. you're never the same. and then you live with the constant questioning of whether

or not that really happened. and whether or not you're entitled to consider it as such. which is even worse. >> i've spoken to so many sexual assault survivors who say, it happened at 12, then i kept finding myself in vulnerable situations. and sexually taken advantage of. >> what's amazing right now is even for me hearing that, i didn't even know that. because you just feel alone. you don't think that those things are happening. who are you going to talk to about that? >> a lot of emotional abuse. >> oh, yeah. you know. >> which oftenoes hand in hand, right? >> i think so. it was ultimately like the process of alienation. it was constantly like, well, what is my value? >> reporter: as mena's modeling career took off, she said she started drinking and using a variety of drugs. >> how seductive was meth for you? >> you lose your mind on meth. you're in a completely different zone. and it was labeled as the worst

thing in the world, but it will make you feel like you can do absolutely anything. >> that sounds like the devil's invitation. >> and i just thought, i had nothing to lose, i felt. >> reporter: mena says her drug abuse continued for years before a friend helped her confront the darkness in her life. >> it's like my friend tracy, she said, it doesn't have to be like this. it struck me so deeply. i think i knew it. but i needed somebody to really hold my hand. it's just important for people to know that you're not alone, that there's so much more. and i had to learn to trust in myself, trust in the process. i had to do the work to listen. to open myself up. >> reporter: now the 42-year-old's world is filled with happiness and hope. michael hope, her husband and father to their baby boy, born this april.

>> just -- miraculous. i never thought that, you know, something so beautiful would happen for me, for us. something that i'd always hoped for. >> reporter: her story of surviving and thriving aimed at helping others. >> i've always sort of said, if i could shave off a summer of suffering for someone, that i wanted to do that. because i felt like i didn't have that person in my life. >> you kept those secrets so bottled up. and now you're literally releasing them into the world. what does that feel like? >> liberating. yeah. it feels good to be transparent. i like living my life in an authentic way that feels good to me, that works for me. up next, greatness and grace. tributes to simone biles. you try to stay ahead of the mess but scrubbing still takes time.

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♪ simone biles' decision to step aside by far the biggest news of the games.

perhaps the greatest of all time teaching us a lesson in balance. support for her now everywhere on social media. carrie strug tweeting, sending love to you, simone biles. fellow olympian adam rippon, i can't imagine the pressure simone has been feeling, sending her so much love. it's easy to forget she's still human. we love you. tennis star coco gauff, we love you and we are with you, simone biles. go, team usa. that's "nightline." you can watch all our full episodes on