who has a new sign out. she is tremendous. have a good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host niall horan. tonight, lizzo, cristo fernandez, and music from kane brown. and now, niall horan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> niall: yeah! [ cheers and applause ]

thank you. whoo! oh, it's good to be back. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i am your guest host niall horan. [ cheers and applause ] whoo! i'm not going to lie, i'm pretty anxious to be doing this. but the last time a pale irishman with no experience hosted a talk show, it was conan o'brien. [ laughter ] so i'm in good company. no worries. everybody has been super supportive, i must say. when i announced i was coming on the show, i got some very, very enthusiastic tweets from my fans. like these. "choking and crying." [ laughter ] "i'm going to pass out." [ laughter ] "no [ bleep ] way holy [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] "oh my [ bleep ] [ bleep ] niall." [ laughter ] all these are in an american accent, by the way. "no because lizzo and niall are

going to make me pee my [ bleep ] pants akshsjsbd." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] good tweets, good tweets. i know. honestly. i really do have the best fans in the world, but they don't have an official name for themselves just yet. there's a few in the mix. some of you may know. "niall nation." [ cheers and applause ] all right, some favorites. or "niallers." [ cheers and applause ] but tonight, i am going to settle this once and for all. are you ready? okay. you sound ready. [ laughter ] from now on, my fans will be called -- the horan dogs. [ cheers and applause ] there you have it. yeah. anyone who loves my music is a total horan dog. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i mean, ask him, guillermo, right? >> guillermo: yes. i am a big horn dog.

[ laughter and applause ] >> niall: always down to guillermo, i knew it. guillermo and i have actually known each other for a long time. we were in a band together for many years. it was called "una direción." [ laughter and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, that's right. >> niall: good times. >> guillermo: good times. >> niall: they were crazy, crazy times, amigo. [ laughter ] by the way, have you ever honestly thought about going solo? >> guillermo: maybe one day. >> niall: i think you should. don't let this kimmel bastard drag you down. he's done it for too many good folks. [ laughter ] but honestly, as i said. the idea of me hosting a comedy show is interesting. i'm a pop star who has the reading age of a 6-year-old, and has zero business being in front of a teleprompter. [ laughter ] it's true. as a small child, i was pulled out of school for worldwide fame and fortune. [ laughter ] when a deal was made with a

powerful demon, or as you mortals call him -- simon cowell. [ cheers and applause ] as i said, i'm from ireland. when people find out i'm irish, that's all they want to talk about. everybody seems to be from ireland in america. [ laughter ] "oh my good, you're irish? oh, my dad's brother's neighbor is irish too! do you know him?" no, i don't! and guess what, i couldn't give two [ bleep ] about him either. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] another thing. you guys are also very misinformed about our traditions. let's take st. patrick's day. first of all, it's not called "patty's day." p-a-t-t-y. like the inside of a burger. [ laughter ] on st. patrick's day in ireland, you just go to mass and light a candle with your granny. [ laughter ] speaking of my granny, it's her 91st birthday today, happy [ cheers and applause ]

trouper, trouper! here in america, you sing u2 songs all day, then puke green beer on your uber driver. [ laughter ] even your sports teams have it wrong. right, let's have a look at this. like the notre dame fighting irish. this is their mascot, the leprechaun. [ laughter ] he looks like abraham lincoln had sex with a garden gnome. [ laughter ] if you want fighting irish? conor mcgregor is a fighting irish. [ cheers and applause ] the thing about conor mcgregor, he'll pull your heart right through your ass. "who the [ bleep ] is abe lincoln anyway? he'll do nothing. i'd fight him any day!" [ cheers and applause ] there you go. that's my conor mcgregor impression. thank you. [ laughter ] i'm also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs, depending on the price, obviously. [ laughter ] to prove my point that you guys know nothing about my homeland, we sent a camera crew out onto hollywood boulevard to administer a little test.

and spoiler alert, it did not go well. [ laughter ] >> today we're talking about ireland. do you know anything about ireland? >> very little. >> can you name a city in ireland? >> dublin. >> can you name a city in ireland? >> dublin. >> dublin. >> name a second one. >> glasgow. >> australia. >> morocco. >> can you point out ireland on this map? >> right here? >> point out ireland on that pm. >> i'm going to go with this one, it's green. >> fill in the blank. the blank irish. >> the drunken irish. >> the drinking irish. >> i really don't know, we're going drunking irish. >> the blanking irish? >> the [ bleep ] irish. >> what did st. patrick do? >> i don't know, i thought he was a leprechaun. >> name a famous irish person. >> how about mel gibson. >> the lucky charms. >> anna kendrick. >> mike myers. >> can you name a famous irish

member of one direction? >> liam. >> oh, oh -- from one direction? is it -- uh -- niall? or louis? tsh >> wch one louis? >> what's his last name? >> thomasson? i don't like one direction that much. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: yeah. they're quite overrated, to be fair. anyway. [ laughter ] and one more thing before we crack on. as some of you may know, i'm a big golfer. and last week, i wanted to hit the links. so i called up my mates, kevin, joe, and nick. the jonas brothers. [ cheers and applause ] we've played a lot of rounds of golf together over the years. and this time, i decided to make things interesting. >> hey, guys. welcome to the niall horan and jonas brothers inaugural and one and only golf day.

since we're such good golfers we thought it would be fair, to playhe wel of stupidity, we've got balls with handicaps on them and we've got to do what it says. ready, boys? >> ready. >> let's get it. >> other way, kev, wheel of stupidity. >> yes, it is called wheel of stupidity. your opponents get to blow air horns while you shoot. >> come on! >> there it is. >> spin around ten times with your forehead on your -- and swing while dizzy. >> my lucky numbers are 7, 16, 25 -- >> you have to play to a full set of bagpipes. >> your club is covered in lube, making it very slippery. >> wonderful. i brought my own. i'll let you borrow it. >> all right action boys. we'vapi look got lube, let's go. >> let's do it!

[ airbor horn ] >> oh god. >> the niall horan, jonas brothers invitational, a one hole take all debacle. >> a breeze at his back and three loud air honrns, let's se if he can focus. [ air horn ] >> no, he cannot. >> you did better than i thought you would. >> one, two -- >> announcer: jonas, tipsy from last night, joe's been celebrating his birth way week and dizzy club could spell disaster. a running start, and birthday joe makes contact into the foliage. did you see that? >> awful, awful, awful, awful. >> there it is. >> announcer: nick jonas addresses the ball, fully lube ra dated. >> is it warm? >> slick. >> it'sup. nnounc: nia-mut splso lotion. >>oh, god, the sound.

>> announcer: slick nick attempts his first tee shot. >> looks like your arms just stopped working. >> have you played this game? >> announcer: lube it or lose it, nick. >> oh! you hit the cart! you're in play, you're in play. >> niall, play us a tune before you swing. >> all right. ♪ >> announcer: wow, that is a you would think this is what i look like when i play golf generally. i'm not sure i can do this. oh! >> announcer: niall's ball hits a friendly bounce off the cart path, he's sitting pretty. >> shall we? >> let's get it. >> let's do it. >> announcer: it's kevin and niall versus nick and joe in a best ball scramble. joe will play nick's tee shot where it lies, atop a sprinkler head, i don't believe it. >> a free drop, right? >> announcer: or a free kick, looks like. >> there we go. >> announcer: make that two free

kicks. okay, one big toss onto the fairway. two strokes in and they are already making a mockery of this dignified sport. >> lube me up. thank you. >> announcer: it's a putter from 180 yards out. that's a bold choice. >> smart play. hey! >> you're getting good at this lube golf. >> now it's up to you, kev. >> announcer: kevin will play the tee shot made by his teammate, niall horan. [ air horn ] >> announcer: just like that, kevin and niall on the green in two. >> okay, the best golf shot you've ever hit. >> wow, you are so horn-y. >> yeah, i am. >> come on. nine, ten -- good job. >> announcer: a surprisingly good shot from joe. >> you've done well, considering. >> announcer: dizzy gillespie and lube-y armstrong. >> do you think we're save? >> you're safe, i'm used to this

lube life. >> yeah! >> oh, wow. >> oh, no, the sand. >> announcer: we're taking a trip to the beach. >> sand and lube. not the greatest combination of all time. >> a lgrit? a little friction? >> announcer: joe jonas quietly -- he's a veteran golfer, he knows to do sick in a sand trap, it's nature's litter box. >> good out. >> there it is, there it is. >> look how good that was. >> announcer: while on the green, the wheels are completely off. >> how far out, kev? >> the bagpipes must be in front, you know the rules. >> sorry. >> announcer: niall with a putt short. >> oh, almost. >> announcer: ten more spins and here comes joe. >> all right, up the hill. >> announcer: he sends his putt into next week. just ugly golf. here to put us out of our misery is kevin jonas for par. >> loser! loser! >> like i said. >> loser! >> just tap it in. >> yeah! >> we just won. >> hello!

>> announcer: and there you have it. not sure what it was, but it's over. >> i want to shake your hand. >> leave him alone. >> since you're losers, you can wash our balls. >> oh, wow. >> announcer: now for the ceremonial washing of the balls. look at that technique. we apologize to all those offended, and may god have mercy on our souls. good night. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: we have a great show for you tonight. cristo fernandez from "ted lasso" is here. we've got music from kane brown. and we'll be right back with the queen -- lizzo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah, i mean the thing is, people like geico because it's just easy. bundling for example. you've got car insurance here. and home insurance here. why not...

schuuuuzp.. put them together. save even more. some things are just better together, aren't they? like tea and crumpets. but you wouldn't bundle just anything. like, say... a porcupine in a balloon factory. no. that'd be a mess. i mean for starters, porcupines are famously no good in a team setting. geico. save even more when bundle home and car insurance. ♪ can i get a hamburger? make it plain. small fries and a vanilla shake. and one big mac, thanks. you've been loyal. we want to reward that. introducing mymcdonald's rewards. now, every order earns points redeemable for free mcdonald's.

tums vs. mozzarella stick now, every order earns points redeemable when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in every bite. crunchy outside, chewy inside. fast heartburn relief in every b♪ tums, tumtu ces pringles original, barbecue, pizza. the barbecue pizza stack. (cheers)

where is everyone? pringles, endless flavors to stack. chromebooks are seriously easy to set up right out of the box. just sign in with your gmail and bam!re gooa (music) (music) the kentucky fried chicken sandwich with brioche buns, mayo, pickles,

and a quarter pound filet as far as the eye can see. get comfy it's going to be a while, this thing's huge. get the kentucky fried chicken sandwich for just $3.99. it's finger lickin' good.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> niall: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live!" i'm niall horan. tonight, from the very funny show "ted lasso" on apple tv plus, cristo fernandez is here. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! then later -- his "blessed and free tour" starts october 1st in sacramento, california. his song is called "one mississippi." music from kane brown. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, the wonderful rupaul will take over hosting duties with his guests iliza shlelsinger and symone, with music from tai verdez. but first, our first guest is a three-time grammy award-winning singer, rapper, and songwriter who is classically trained in both the flute and the highly esteemed art of the twerk. [ cheers ] her new single "rumors" featuring cardi b is out now. please say hello to my beautiful friend lizzo! [ cheers and applause ] >> hi!

what's up? >> niall: i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] look at you. >> hey, all. >> niall: my beautiful woman, how's it going? >> oh, you know. [ laughter ] it's going good. this is the sexiest call i've ever been on. >> niall: yeah, me too. geez. i get a bit hot in this nutmeg-colored suit. [ laughter ] by the way -- >> nothing sexier than nutmeg. >> niall: you said it, i didn't. how about all of those awards? [ cheers and applause ] oh my gosh. >> these? oh. >> niall: what, these? >> it's nothing, it's nothing. >> niall: oh my gosh. >> i don't like to brag, you know what i mean? i don't like to brag. it's just my bookshelf. [ laughter ] >> niall: by the way, speaking of success, with success comes fans. you know you've made it when your fans have their own name. your fans go by what?

>> the lizzbians. [ cheers and applause ] we're all lizzbians. >> niall: oh my god, it's amazing. i started out mine tonight, mine are now called the horan dogs. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, i like that. >> niall: yeah, it depends what country you come from, it sounds a little bit different. >> oh, in america it's a horndog, okay? [ laughter ] >> niall: we speak the same lang wash. >> i think you're giving me a one erection, baby. [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: oh my god. before you became the queen of the lizzbians, you had some previous jobs. you used to be the queen of liberty tax. tell us about that. [ laughter ] >> i was a bad bitch back then. [ laughter and applause ]

i signed up to be a sign spinner. so when i went to my job was done, my macup was -- you i- know what i'm saying? i've always been a performer, i always take my jobs very seriously. i went up to liberty tax beat to the gods. >> niall: whoo who! >> i was on the corner, spinning them damn signs. i looked so good, they promoted me to be lady liberty. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: did you have any sales pitch lines while you were spinning the thing? >> ha, no. it was body language, niall, body language. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: whoo-hoo! well, you have something else. we both started in groups. but yours wasn't televised and can be seen on youtube whenever you want, forever and ever and

ever. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i was in a -- it's okay, niall. you want a hug? [ laughter ] [ applause ] you need a hug, baby? i was in, like, thousands of girl groups. my first girl group ever was called the corn row clique. we'd be like, corn row clique! we all had different corn rows, wore different colored jordans, walking down the street, rapping our songs. >> niall: oh, right, do you know any lyrics or do you remember any songs? >> our first hit song, it was number one on the high school charts. [ laughter ] in houston, texas. >> niall: sure. >> it was called "it don't matter though." ♪ it don't matter though it don't matter though ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it don't matter though it don't matter though ♪ ♪ hut hut hut hut ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> nailed it! ding! >> niall: let's talk about this new single. "rumors" with cardi b that's out right now. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, look at these two ladies. >> don't we look -- we look beautiful, oh my god. you know, she whispered in my ear when we took that picture, "i want to like [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] right before we took that photo. >> niall: i mean -- this is brilliant. >> sorry, i just wanted to tell you that i forgot there's people there. [ laughter and applause ] >> niall: there's no one here, it's just sound effects. [ laughter ] >> there you go. oh my god. i mean, i need a little audience laughter reaction box to hype me up too.

can y'all give me something? [ cheers and applause ] yes, i'll see you in a moment. >> niall: i mean, this is the best guest ever. i just -- when i woke up this morning, i went on billboard, i had a look. we're in at number four, straight away on billboard hot 100. [ cheers and applause ] >> wow. >> niall: yeah, baby. >> it's my highest debut to this day. so i'm just -- [ cheers and applause ] le blessings. thank you. >> niall: you are amazing. >> i'm grateful to cardi b, too. she really killed it on the song. her and cardi jr. were in my music video. [ laughter ] she brought her pregnant ass to set. i'm eternally grateful. when i was pregnant, i would sit my ass at home, prop my feet, eat hot cheetos.

[ applause ] >> niall: i do that and i'm not even pregnant. [ laughter ] >> there you go. you want to change that? [ cheers and applause ] [ rim shot ] >> niall: can you believe this girl? if you think it's fiery now, wait till you see what we have planned for the next segment. [ laughter and applause ] there is one thing, lizzo, while we're here, that i wanted to talk about. there's a lear nick the song. "no i ain't [ bleep ] yet." [ laughter ] do explain. >> okay. so the original line was "no i ain't [ bleep ] yet." [ cheers and applause ] but they said it -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] they said it was a wee bit -- [ laughter ] the label said it was a little bit provocative.

so we -- you know, i changed it to drake, a safer bet. [ laughter ] >> niall: yeah. job done. take it off, move on. [ cheers and applause ] have you heard from drake? has he heard about this? >> i think he's heard the number four song in the country. >> niall: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> i think he's heard it. >> niall: whoo! on that note -- >> 23, i have heard from drake, but that's all i'm going to say on that. >> niall: we'll talk after this. more with lizzo after this! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it took a while to get up here. we started out around... 1959. ♪ then we took a hard left in east africa. a right at baja. a 180 in the empty quarter. that 65-degree incline at hell's revenge. and a few million miles later...

'llhao get here.ree incline at hell's revenge. we did it to give you a truck that'll take you anywhere. this is the new nissan. ♪ ♪ ♪ it came a long way to be found by you. find more. spend less. homegoods. go finding. find more. spend less. if laundry stinks, it could be bacteria. detergent alone doesn't kill all odor causing bacteria. adding lysol laundry sanitizer kills 99.9 %. lysol, what is takes to protect.

i'm morgan, and there's more to me than hiv. more love, more adventure, more community. but with my hiv treatment, there's not more medicines in my pill. i talked to my doctor and switched to fewer medicines with dovato. dovato is for some adults who are starting hiv-1 treatment or replacing their current hiv-1 regimen. with just 2 medicines in 1 pill, dovato is as effective as a 3-drug regimen... to help you reach and stay undetectable. research shows people who take hiv treatment as prescribed and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit hiv through sex.

don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or if you take dofetilide. taking dovato with dofetilide can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. hepatitis b can become harder to treat while on dovato. don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor, as your hepatitis b may worsen or become life-threatening. serious or life-threatening side effects can occur, including allergic reactions, lactic acid buildup, and liver problems. if you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction, stop dovato and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are, may be, or plan to be pregnant. dovato may harm your unborn baby. use effective birth control while on dovato. do not breastfeed while taking dovato. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, ndnxiety. so much goes into who i am. hiv medicine is one part of it. ask your doctor about dovato-i did. ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> niall: welcome back, welcome back, everybody. lizzo, do you remember the first time we ever met? >> oh my god. like it was yesterday. [ laughter ] do you remember it? >> niall: oh, so fondly. [ laughter ] >> that'sright. we were at the -- it was in london. >> niall: yep. >> right? at the radio station? >> niall: uh-huh. >> it was like bbc radio 1. and i remember i pulled up, and there was like all of these like girls, all these fans, and i was like, oh my gosh, my fans are waiting for me! i got out of the car. i got out of the car, they didn't give a [ bleep ] about me. [ laughter ] wait a minute. who are all these people here for? then i went inside, and it was you. and they introduced me to you.

and you were like, congratulations, lizzo, you're smashing it. and i was like, i'll smash you. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know where you from, but from where i'm from, if you say smash that only mean one thing, you know what i'm saying? >> niall: yeah, it means -- [ cheers and applause ] it means a completely different thing back home, but i get where you're coming from. >> wait, what does it mean where you're from? >> niall: you're doing well, you're smashing it, well done. you, you're smashing it. over here, it's like, you smash it! [ laughter ] >> oh. i like your american accent. what you say, you said "california" earlier "sacramento, california. [ laughter ] >> not bad. fine. i'll help you out. >> niall: by the way, since then, all my fans, and i'm sure your fans too, feel like we

should date. [ cheers and applause ] maybe they're on to something. maybe they're on to something, but before we commit, we should maybe see if we're, like, good for each other. i created a little quiz. >> okay. >> niall: got the answers prepared. and i've called it -- >> nervous. >> niall: "are we compatible?" [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. >> niall: this is the weirdest first date i've ever been on. [ laughter ] through a television. live on jimmy kimmel. question number one is, if we get married, would you make me sign a prenup? [ laughter ] >> oh! >> niall: oh! >> oho! wait a minute, who got more money? [ cheers and applause ]

i want some of that one direction money! [ cheers and applause ] you know what, now, i trust you. we wouldn't have to sign a prenup. [ audience aww'ing ] >> niall: i was just hoping my next album was going to do well, then i wouldn't have to steal anyone's money. >> you've got this, boo. >> niall: but also, i love you and i trust you. [ audience aww'ing ] >> aww! >> niall: oh, there's some really sexy chords going on here. ♪ what is the minimum number of dates before i can fart in front of you? [ laughter ] serious question, by the way. >> this is where it ends, honey. this is a real question. >> niall: this might be the most important one. >> first of all, i don't fart.

i have rose air that kind of just, you know -- >> niall: me too. >> ssssttt! like a nice breeze. i would say, never. i have a sensitive nose. i can smell a flea fart. >> niall: me too! but i am going to struggle with this. [ laughter ] >> wait. so what about you? >> niall: you can do whatever you want in front of me, girl. [ cheers and applause ] >> flop that, flop that. >> niall: oh, please. why did i sign up for this? i'm embarrassing myself. here's a good question. pretty frisky one. if we had a three-way -- [ audience moaning ] who would be the third person? >> oh [ bleep ]. y'all going to get me in --

y'all going to get me in trouble, y'all going to get me in [ bleep ] trouble. [ applause ] y'all really are, because you already know. damn, who would be the third person? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: guillermo! >> guillermo: i'm good! >> yeah! that's my answer. [ laughter ] >> niall: she didn't even have to speak, guillermo. a look saying more than words ever could. that's beautiful. >> yes, guillermo. >> guillermo: i love you! >> i love you too! >> niall: last one. see if you can turn me on with your sexiest animal noise. >> wow. oh, what can i do? you know what? i can do a really sexy hawk. [ laughter ] [ bird cry ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> niall: oh, wow. >> you like that? >> niall: that's so impressive. >> okay, your turn. >> niall: oh. baaaa! [ laughter ] baaaa! [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, wow, is that what it sounds like, niall? >> niall: that was it. or a small lamb, a -- a big goat? depending on what mood you're in. >> a small lamb? big goat? or you in the bedroom? [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: wowie. by the way. since it's obvious that we're so compatible, jimmy left this in my dressing room. it's a $25 gift card for dave and buster's. [ laughter ] we can do whatever we want. >> you know how much fun that would be?

i would love to do that with you. >> niall: honestly, we should honestly do that. text you later. lizzo, thank you so much, you're an absolute queen. you've been the best guest anybody could ever imagine. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much, lizzo. lizzo's single "rumors" featuring cardi b is out now. we'll be back with cristo fernandez! ♪ ayy, ayy, ayy ♪ ♪ yeah, we fancy like applebee's on a date night ♪ ♪ got that bourbon street steak with the oreo shake ♪ ♪ get some whipped cream on the top too ♪ ♪ two straws, one check, girl, i got you ♪ ♪ bougie like natty in the styrofoam ♪ ♪ squeak-squeakin' in the truck bed all the way home ♪ ♪ some alabama-jamma, she my dixieland delight ♪ ♪ ayy, that's how we do, ♪ ♪ how we do, fancy like, oh ♪ ♪ ♪

heading back to school is more exciting than ever. and when kids have what they need to move forward together... anything is possible. kohl's. (man) my ex is dating a pisces. so i'm like, 'screw it. let's talk manifesting. let's talk chakras. let's talk self healing my way through the 12th house. (woman in van) set your intentions. (man sitting) crystals up. (woman) full moon bath ritual. cleanse and find your magic. ♪let it go (huh, huh)♪ ♪let it go (word, word, 88)♪ ♪let it go (let it go)♪

excuse me! roll it back everybody! charmin ultra soft is so cushiony soft, you'll want more! but it's so absorbent, you can use less. enjoy the go with charmin. what's the #1 retinol brand used most by dermatologists? it's neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair® smooths the look of fine lines in 1-week, deep wrinkles in 4. so you can kiss wrinkles goodbye! neutrogena® ♪ last things last by the grace of the fire and the flames ♪

♪ you're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh-ooh ♪ ♪ the blood in my veins, oh-ooh ♪ ♪ but they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing ♪ ♪ inhibited, limited ♪ ♪ 'til it broke open and rained down ♪ ♪ pain! you made me a, you made me a believer, ♪ pre-order now and get up to $200 in samsung credit. ♪ tums vs. mozzarella stick pre-order now and get up to $200 in samsung credit. when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in every bite. crunchy outside, chewy inside. ♪ tums, tums, tums, tums ♪ tums chewy bites [sfx: radio being tuned] welcome to allstate. ♪ [band plays] ♪ a place where everyone lives life well-protected. ♪ and even when things go a bit wrong, we've got your back.

here, things work the way you wish they would. and better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today. this is a gamechanger, who dares to be fearless even when her bladder leaks. our softest, smoothest fabric keeping her comfortable, protected, and undeniably sleek. depend. the only thing stronger than us, is you.

that's a chromebook with the everything button. one button that finds your files, or apps, depend. and even answers online. instantly. who says you can't have everything? with the everything button. switch to finding things instantly switch to chromebook

[ cheers and applause ] >> niall: yeah! welcome back. our next guest is a professional soccer player turned professional actor who now acts as a professional soccer player on the twenty-time emmy-nominated series "ted lasso." >> enjoy your free coffee. >> i don't drink coffee. my mother says i was born caffeinated. is it okay if i give it to my neighbor? she doesn't drink coffee, but her son does, and she's trying to encourage visits from him. >> sure. >> excellent. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: yeah! new episodes of "ted lasso" air fridays on apple tv plus. please welcome cristo fernandez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> niall: yeah, cristo fernandez! it's great to meet you. >> thank you for having me here. still my family cannot believe, especially my sister, because she's a huge fan. >> niall: really? >> i told her, do you know niall horan? she messaged me, i clicked on it, "aahhh!" for a whole minute. she's jealous. [ laughter ] >> niall: i'm a big fan of her brother, i've been watching "ted lasso" religiously. [ cheers and applause ] it's amazing. >> thank you. >> niall: it really is. congratulations on all the success. it's insane, really. >> thank you very much. >> niall: you play danny rojas. >> yes. >> niall: danny rojas is a guy who walks around preaching the word of football. football is life! [ laughter ] >> it is like that, yeah, yeah. >> niall: football is life? >> football is life, football is football, football is death, football is life. [ laughter ] >> niall: so do you find it, like i do, do you find it annoying when americans call it soccer? >> i have to be honest, i do. [ laughter ]

no, but the thing is, i mean, i appreciate when everyone comes and thanks you for the show. it means everything. but yeah i mean, i'm from mexico. so in mexico -- [ cheers and applause ] lots of mexicans here, thank you. so, i mean, football is football. eeryone knows football. so i'm afraid one day they're going to find me in a bad mood, "soccer is life!" and i'm going to be, "it's football, you wanker!" [ laughter ] >> niall: football is actually life for you. >> it was. >> niall: you played football professionally? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i didn't reach the highest participation level, but i started playing since i was 15 professionally, i played in different parts of my hometown in mexico, then i played a bit in puerto rico, then the dream was up. then my parents intelligently told me to go for new dreams. i went and followed my dreams in acting and filmmaking, just go with that. [ cheers and applause ]

>> niall: so obviously jason sudeikis wrote "ted lasso." how did that come about, and were you a fan of him beforehand? >> yeah, 100%. i grew up watching him in "snl," so i knew all of his work there. i saw some films. so i really love his work. i still remember the first time i met him was the first day we had the table read at "ted lasso." and i was meeting everyone, everyone's so nice, this is cool, this is amazing. and of course i was not ready. and then i just felt like on my shoulder someone touching me. i look. and he was -- it was jason. it was like, "hello, we're very happy to have you here." "nice to meet you, jason sudeikis!" "no, no, the pleasure is ours, call me jason." "yes, jason sudeikis!" [ laughter and applause ] but you know, like -- i mean,

someone like that, it's jason sudeikis. he was "jason sudeikis" for many weeks. i don't think i will ever be, if i meet steven spielberg, "hey, steven!" p>> niall: fair enough. nervous around him, i get that, fair enough. i remember when i first started coming to l.a., going to events, i come from a small town in ireland, you know. nothing happens. i come to l.a. you know, seeing the lights and the flashing cameras and the press and the fans everywhere. do you recall your first -- obviously your first was the "ted lasso" premiere? >> yeah, that was the biggest thing i've ever experienced in my life. it felt a bit of -- it was a whole crazy adventure, it's a miracle i'm here, that's another story. i spent a whole week in mexico, i literally arrived on thursday, premiere 7:00 p.m., i arrived thursday at 1:00, 2:00 a.m. i had my bag, some clothes.

dirty, messy. they gave me clothes, thank god. i make it to the premiere. lots of flashing, cristo fernandez, oh my god. i was meeting so many people. it's something that happened -- i was very happy to see my friend, my cast, catching up. taking pictures with this man, he was kind, kept approaching me, "cristo, i love your work, you're amazing." "thank you very much." took pictures, he was pathetic with me. "you're the best." he left. i was like, oh my god. i turned with my publicist, "who was that lovely man? he was amazing." i just hear, like -- "i'll tell you in a second." okay. i didn't realize it was mr. apple man himself, it was tim

cook. [ applause ] no, don't applaud, i was so embarrassed, i wanted to die. i know the name. i am new in l.a. everything is new. flashlights. i hope i can have another meeting. [ laughter ] now i know who he is. >> niall: you're lucky your show is good or he would have put it on quibi. [ applause ] thank you so much for being here. listen, i've got a football here. >> oh, okay. [ cheers ] >> niall: i don't know how we're going to fare. oh, he's doing it. >> i am. >> niall: that's smart. maybe not with this. ♪ guillermo? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: thank you so much. >> thank you so much. >> niall: thank you.

thanks, cristo. new episodes of "ted lasso" air fridays on apple tv plus. we'll be right back with music from kane brown. i've got moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer. ♪ ♪ i feel free to bare my skin yeah, that's all me. ♪ ♪ nothing and me go hand in hand nothing on my skin, ♪ ♪ that's my new plan. ♪ ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ achieve clearer skin with skyrizi. 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months.

of those, nearly 9 out of 10 sustained it through 1 year. and skyrizi is 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. ♪ i see nothing in a different way it's my moment ♪ ♪ so i just gotta say... ♪ ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ skyrizi may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms such as fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or coughs or if you plan to or recently received a vaccine. ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ now is the time to ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. we did it again. we did it again. verizon has been named america's most ♪ nothing is everything. ♪ verizon has been named america's most reliable network by rootmetrics. and our customers rated us #1 for network quality in america according to j.d. power. number one in reliability, 16 times in a row. most awarded for network quality, 27 times in a row. proving once again that nobody builds networks like verizon. proving once again that nobody builds networks like verizon. proving once again that nobody builds networks like verizon. that's why we're building 5g right,

that's why we're building 5g right, that's why there's only one best network. that's why there's only one best network. that's why there's only one best network. now, we all know progressive offers 24/7 protection, but we also bundle outdoor vehicles with home and auto to help people save more! [ laughs ] ♪ [ humming ] [ door creaks ] oh. [ soft music playing ] what are you all doing in my daydream? it's better than that presentation. a lot better. you know, whether it's a fraction or a decimal, it's still fun, you know? ♪ ♪

get ready - our most popular battery is even more powerful. the stronger, lasts-longer energizer max. oh wowzers, what a special family! special like my fudge stripes. made with real original keebler fudge. only elves can make cookies this good! keebler® - made with magic, loved by families™. over the years, mercedes-benz has patented thousands of safety innovations. keebler® - made with magic, crash-tested so many cars we've stopped counting. and built our most punishing test facility yet, in our effort to build the world's safest cars. we've created crumple zones and autonomous braking. active lane keeping assist and blind spot assist. we've introduced airbags, side curtain airbags, and now the first-ever rear-mounted front-impact airbags. all in the hope that you never need any of it.

♪ ♪ ♪ come on, get your motor running ♪ you just head out on the highway ♪ looking for some tchotchkes ♪ and whatever comes our way ♪ yeah darlin, go make it happen mí amor, take the world in a love embrace ride all of your love at once and explode into space... ♪ born to be wild ♪ start your california road trip and visitcalifornia.com

>> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> niall: it's music time. with his new song, "one mississippi." two mississippi, three shots of whiskey. from nashville, kane brown! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ you and i had this off and on so long ♪ ♪ you've been here then you've been gone so many times ♪ ♪ and every night i'm always bumping into you ♪ ♪ well, you do the same things we used to ♪ ♪ it's your place or it's mine, so ♪ ♪ ohhhhhh ohhhh ohhh

hhhh odeja vd swear'rthroug we e of dow♪ ♪ ain't nothing but a countdown ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi ♪ ♪ three shots of whiskey are you on your way ♪ ♪ we're tipsy, baby come kiss me ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi three in the mornin' ♪ ♪ we'll be on our way so tipsy can't stop kissin' ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait forever ♪ ♪ every time i'm at this bar ♪ ♪ tap on the shoulder turn around ♪ ♪ and baby there you are ♪ ♪ and it's fire yeah, like this bourbon 100-proof ♪ ♪ yeah, they don't burn the way you do ♪ ♪ yeah, we're better in the dark, so ♪ ♪ ohhhhhh ohhhh ohhh we'll lie and swear we're through ♪ ♪ with the lonely

drunken deja vu ♪ ♪ ohhhh ohhhh ohhhhhh five minutes out of downtown ♪ ♪ ain't nothing but a countdown ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi ♪ ♪ three shots of whiskey are you on your way ♪ ♪ we're tipsy, baby come kiss me ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi three in the mornin' ♪ ♪ we'll be on our way so tipsy can't stop kissin' ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait forever ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ kinda like that georgia wind ♪ ♪ we'll be gone and back again ♪ ♪ but always wind up right back where we are ♪ ♪ playing roulette with our hearts ♪ ♪ and blowing smoke rings

in the dark ♪ ♪ yeah, ohhhhhh ohhhh ohhh we'll lie and swear we're through ♪ ♪ with the lonely drunken deja vu ♪ ♪ ohhhh ohhhh ohhhhhh five minutes out of downtown ♪ ♪ ain't nothing but a countdown ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi ♪ ♪ three shots of whiskey are you on your way ♪ ♪ we're tipsy, baby come kiss me ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi three in the mornin' ♪ ♪ we'll be on our way so tipsy can't stop kissin' ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait forever ♪ ♪ every time i'm at this bar ♪ ♪ tap on the shoulder turn around ♪ ♪ and baby >> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by mercedes-be mercedes-benz.

the best or nothing. i am robert strickler. i've been involved in communications in the media for 45 years. i've been taking prevagen on a regular basis for at least eight years. for me, the greatest benefit over the years has been

that prevagen seems to help me recall things and also think more clearly. and i enthusiastically recommend prevagen. it has helped me an awful lot. prevagen. healthier brain. better life. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: that is all we have time for. i want to thank lizzo -- crsto fernandez -- kane brown -- the jonas brothers -- and jimmy kimmel. watch rupaul host tomorrow. "nightline" is next.

and to all my horan dogs out there, goodnight! ♪ ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, questionable misfires. >> what the hell? >> a handgun widely used by law enforcement now under fire. >> never in my honest dreams i would have believed that my gun would just have shot me. >> a new lawsuit alleging sig sauer's p-320 could go off on its own. the paragraphs' attorney -- >> if this were a car, phone, refrigerator, it would have been recalled long, long ago. ♪ plus legendary rockers remembering charlie watts. starting off the rolling stones. >> charlie was a rock. history made.