tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 31, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host sean hayes! tonight -- awkwafina -- keke palmer -- and music from daryl hall and john oates. and now, sean hayes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> sean: whoo! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. that's so nice. thank you, guys. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i am your guest host, sean hayes. [ cheers and applause ]
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i'm going to clap for myself, i don't care. [ laughter ] i am the 10th host of the summer. but you know what they say -- "save the best for 10th." [ laughter ] i'm glad i could fill in for jimmy. he actually filled in for me during seasons five and six of "will and grace," and he nailed it. [ laughter ] he went full method. even spent six months in a very tumultuous relationship with neil patrick harris. [ laughter ] pretty shocking. really the best part of hosting a talk show is getting a sidekick for the night. right? how's it going, guillermo? >> guillermo: oh, it's going great, good, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: i heard you were sick last week. i'm told you're feeling a little better? >> guillermo: yes. >> sean: yeah, yeah. i'm also a total hypochondriac, so please don't breathe on me, talk to me, or look at me. [ laughter ] so if you could just stay on your little [ bleep ] covid stool. [ laughter ] and we'll be good. >> guillermo: okay. >> sean: okay? i love you!
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>> guillermo: i love you too. [ laughter ] >> sean: you know, julie bowen was the guest host last night, and i want to address something she said about me. >> tomorrow night, a man i once kissed, sean hayes, that's true, will be hosting with his guests awkwafina and keke palmer -- >> sean: yeah, we actually made out a few times. [ laughter ] totally true. and one time i went for it. put my hand down her pants and was like "wait, you don't have a penis?" and that was it, i was out. i was out. [ laughter ] how many of you are visiting from out of town? [ cheers and applause ] that's great. quick question. any of you get duct-taped to your seat on the way in? [ laughter ] no? just trying to get a quick count on the karens here. [ laughter ] as you may have seen, there have been several in-flight incidents lately where the crew had to duct-tape unruly passengers to their seats. earlier this month, a man allegedly groped two female flight attendants and punched a male flight attendant on the way to florida.
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because of course they were going to florida. [ laughter ] that's not the kind of mayhem you see on a flight to vermont. you know? [ laughter ] so this is happening a lot, that some airlines are telling their flight attendants not to duct-tape passengers if they act crazy or refuse to wear a mask. and i agree. you should never duct-tape an abusive passenger to their seat, it's just wrong. you should duct tape them to the wing. [ laughter ] you know? yeah. [ cheers and applause ] makes more sense to me. give them a few minutes choking on mosquitos at 500 miles an hour, they'll be begging for a k95. [ laughter ] here's something i had a hard time believing. but if you're a fan of soccer and wasting massive amounts of money, this might be of interest to you. >> the emotional departure of lionel messi from barcelona is hoping to catch a really big price. the tissue that the soccer star
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wiped this, he came away with tears in his good-bye message at the press conference. now look, it's up for sale for $1 million. the seller reportedly picked it up at the end of the press conference and is now trying to sell the tissue. [ laughter ] >> sean: $1 million. for that much money, it better be filled with cocaine. [ laughter ] so listen. i want to get in on this action, so tonight i am proud to announce that my emmy award-winning snot is available to the highest bidder. i'm going to blow my nose. then right now -- this monologue, by the way, is going to be the certificate of authenticity. i'm going to blow it right now. guillermo, bring out the kleenex case. [ laughter ] be careful. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i am putting this 100% verified tissue on ebay right now.
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can we show it? is it live right now? can we show the page? there it is. [ laughter ] thank you, thank you. there it is. there's an nft. a nasal fluid tissue. [ laughter ] i'm not into begging, but guys, please bid on this. [ laughter ] i don't wanna go back on cameo. [ laughter ] i would like to take a moment now to shine a light on some truly fine journalism. congratulations to the team at wapt in jackson, mississippi, winners of tonight's award for "excellence in reporting," take a look. >> rat poison. rat poison. and we're back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> sean: is that like his warmup, his vocal warmup? [ laughter ] "rat poison. rat poison." i don't know. is it too early to check in on my snot? nothing? nothing? all right. so it's not taking off right away. you know. but neither did kathy bates! [ laughter ] all right. today pope francis. you know the guy in the robe? and he's got that hat? the pope is recommending that people get the covid-19 vaccine. he's also recommending that altar boys remain at least six feet away from priests at all times. [ cheers and applause ] yeah he said that. the pope said getting vaccinated is "an act of love." oh sure, that counts as an "act of love," but when i tried to commit acts of love in high school, suddenly i'm "a sinner who ruined a perfectly good gym sock"? [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah. real, yeah. all right, sure.
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we are currently battling rampant misinformation about the vaccines. and tonight, i'm going to clear all that up. that's because i am a doctor. and not just any doctor. an honorary doctor. that's true. [ laughter ] illinois state university, one of the greatest universities in the country, also the school i dropped out of -- [ laughter ] bestowed upon me an honorary doctorate which is a certificate that qualifies me to clear up any lingering vaccine hesitancy out there. not legally speaking. [ laughter ] but me-gally speaking. [ laughter ] so it's time once again for dr. sean's covid corner! [ cheers and applause ] it's just like wonder woman, isn't it? i changed so quickly. here's a question i get all the time. do the vaccines contain microchips? very simply, no. the vaccines do not contain microchips. they contain sun chips. [ laughter ] which is why they're so effective. because sun chips are made with sunlight.
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[ laughter ] yeah. the same sunlight a former president suggested we shine into our buttholes to cure covid. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this is a great question. i get this. i got the vaccine, but do i need a booster shot? just this morning, the biden administration recommended that most americans get a booster shot eight months after their first dose. right now, first priority goes to health care workers, the elderly, and the immunocompromised. after that, boosters will be made available to guy fieri, the dog from "frasier," then the general public. [ laughter ] i'm just realizing the dog from "frasier" is dead. so guess what -- you all just moved up a spot! [ cheers and applause ] yeah. boosters! booster. the word booster makes them laugh. the vaccines have become very politicized lately, so this is a common question. won't my liberal friends act smug if i change my mind about the vaccine? [ laughter ]
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yes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] next question. [ laughter ] can i get the delta variant from flying delta airlines? [ laughter ] no. you cannot catch the delta variant from delta airlines, unless they seat you next to a sick bat. but that is unlikely, because bats can also fly, and therefore have little need for airlines. [ laughter ] but -- yeah. if you'd like to be extra safe, scientists believe the safest airline to fly during a pandemic is spirit, because their planes don't have windows. [ laughter ] this is something a lot of people are worried about. does my dog need to be vaccinated against covid-19? no, your dog does not need a covid vaccine. unless your dog is a schoolteacher. and god, wouldn't that be adorable? [ laughter ]
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andy cohen face? [ laughter ] and lastly, here's one i get a lot. why should i get the vaccine when the mypillow guy says not to? [ laughter ] look, i understand the appeal of the mypillow guy. we have similar backgrounds, in that we both used to sleep in trash cans because we were being hunted by the devil. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but while he was stuffing pillows with old chinese newspapers, i was earning my honorary doctorate by being famous. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. and as einstein once said, fame is intelligence for hot people. [ laughter ] so yeah, trust me, i'm dr. sean! [ cheers and applause ] thank you.
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this isn't my first rodeo filling in for jimmy. and yes, it's weird, jimmy makes us call this a "rodeo" for some reason. [ laughter ] when i hosted last summer, i had the honor of presiding over the surprise wedding of an amazing covid nurse to his fiancé live on the show. who's to say who the real hero was that day? it was me. [ laughter ] yeah, i was the hero, yeah. >> dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in accordance with strict cdc guidelines to join lucio and ian in matrimony. do you promise to love, honor, cherish one another, to laugh together, to cry together, and to never, ever, ever turn off the karaoke machine when mariah carey's "hero" comes on? >> i do. >> i do. >> by the power invested in me by the academy of television arts and sciences, i now pronounce you married. you may kiss. enjoy your honeymoon in the -- garage! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: yeah.
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those two just celebrated their first wedding anniversary, so i invited them here tonight to check in on the state of their union. please give a very warm welcome to the happy couple, lucio and ian oh. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ wedding march playing ] >> sean: guys! [ cheers and applause ] you guys made it one whole year, that's amazing. i kind of feel like i'm now responsible for more successful tv marriages than the entire "bachelor" franchise. [ laughter ] let me ask you something, are you sick of each other yet? after being stuck inside during quarantine? >> we definitely feel like an old couple. >> sean: an old couple, right, right. i don't want to take all the credit for your happiness. i'll take most of it. [ laughter ] last time i saw you guys, lucio, you were living with lucio's parents, is that right? >> yeah, we moved out. >> sean: where was it? >> santa maria. now we actually moved to los angeles.
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but we still spent our anniversary with my parents. >> sean: are you serious? [ laughter ] all right, i can literally see the umbilical cord as you came out. [ laughter ] so lucio, just between us, what's the most annoying thing you've learned about him the first year of marriage? >> he takes probably three or four showers a day, minimum. which -- isn't that kind of weird? >> sean: that's three or four more than i take. [ laughter ] wait a minute. that's crazy. why? what's the deal, what's going on? >> i just want to be clean. [ laughter ] >> sean: that's the answer? i just want to be clean? okay. so -- and ian, what's the most annoying thing you've learned? >> too much youtube. >> sean: too much youtube? there's other things, you know. [ laughter ] there's instagram, there's television. >> jimmy kimmel last night. >> sean: you were watching kimmel? >> i was. >> sean: on youtube? >> that's fantastic. check out abc sometime. [ laughter ]
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did you honeymoon in the garage like i requested? >> pretty much, yeah. >> sean: you did? >> we're saving up, we want to go to vietnam when travel opens up. >> sean: wait, you want to go where? >> vietnam. >> sean: wow. you don't hear that often, we want to honeymoon in vietnam. what about vietnam? >> sightseeing. >> we love the food. >> sean: you love vietnamese food. i don't think i've ever had it, i'll try it. look, now the traditional first year gift is paper. so for you guys tonight, i got you something printed on paper. our friends at united airlines are giving you two first class tickets anywhere in the world, so i guess you're going to vietnam! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> sean: we've got a good one tonight. keke palmer is here. we have music from daryl hall and john oates. and we'll be right back with awkwafina. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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mí amor, take the world in a love embrace ride all of your love at once and explode into space... ♪ born to be wild ♪ start your california road trip and visitcalifornia.com [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> sean: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live," i'm sean hayes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. damn right you should applaud. [ laughter ] i love those masks. where are you? there you are. [ laughter ] look at that. you guys make out and think of me? [ laughter ] yeah. that's nice. tonight, from the show "turnt up with the taylors," keke palmer is here. [ cheers and applause ] then later, you can go to hallandoates.com to get tickets
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for their u.s. tour. tonight they will play one of their classic hits. music from the great daryl hall and john oates. super excited. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, i'll be back again with my guests tracee ellis ross and simu liu with music from yola. [ cheers ] yes. and if you still can't get enough of e, check out my podcasts, "smartless" and "hypocondriactor," and watch my animated gay spy thriller "q-force" on netflix september 2nd. guillermo, was that too many plugs? >> guillermo: way too many, let's get to the guests. >> sean: let's get to the guests? that's all you do, sit there and say a couple of things? >> guillermo: yeah. >> sean: i love it. [ laughter ] are you tired? >> guillermo: a little bit. >> sean: a little bit, yeah. our first guest is a golden globe winning actor who, like meatloaf, ice t, and eminem, possesses a name that could be found on a menu or in a vending machine. [ laughter ] she joins the marvel cinematic universe when she stars in "shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings." it opens in theaters september 3rd. say hello to awkwafina. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> i love you guys! >> sean: they love you. you're like a superstar. >> oh no. [ cheers ] >> sean: yes, you are. >> wow, thank you. love you guys, yes. >> sean: you were so kind to do my podcast. "smartless." >> yeah, yeah. >> sean: i thought i'd take advantage and make you do this. >> yeah, for sure, a lot of sean hayes, it's good. >> sean: thank you for coming on. you were born in queens, new york. >> yes. >> sean: and you are a fan of the mets. you just threw out -- what happened? >> oh, oh yeah. so -- yeah. i had the honor of throwing out the first pitch at my hometown -- the mets at the mets, yeah. >> sean: that's so cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, thank you, yeah. yeah. >> sean: that's so cool. did you practice? >> i threw it to my dad.
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who is, like, a lifelong mets fan. like he played little league as a kid. yeah, so that -- okay, so basically -- okay. >> sean: he looks thrilled to be there. [ laughter ] >> very thrilled, yeah. he was so amped to go to the game. he was going to come as my dad. i was like, dad. he was texting me. i was, dad, they want you to throw the first pitch with me. he ghosted me for three days. [ laughter ] he was like, no, absolutely not. he was so nervous. >> sean: why? nervous? >> yeah. then he was like, we've got to practice, we've got to -- we've got to -- we've got to practice. [ laughter ] where do you want to practice? we've got to go out, queens boulevard, just practice. [ laughter ] i'm not going to go out on the street, two adults, playing baseball, throwing catch together. >> sean: that would have been a good photo. >> yeah, no. and it was like this existential thing of, like, when is ever a father and daughter forced to play catch and have it land? and he was so nervous. on that day. he put on sunglasses and a hat. and i was like, dad, you're not
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going to be able to see the ball. [ laughter ] he was like, shut up, don't talk to me right now, i am so nervous, i'm so nervous. and it didn't even look like my dad. looked like some weird random guy i was throwing the ball to. dad, come on, are you going to catch the ball? and he was like, yeah, yeah, for sure. >> sean: let's take a look at it. can we take a look at it? >> yeah, yeah. >> awkwafina, it's your pitch! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: that was -- that was great. were you aiming for something we didn't see? [ laughter ] >> yeah, right? that's what he was saying. i felt like if he had a little bit more of a lean out. but you know, the whole night, i had to criticize my dad about playing catch. >> sean: that's sweet you got to do that together. how many people can say they got to do that? that is so cool. >> he was so happy, he was thrilled. >> don't you usually throw it to the actual catcher?
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>> yeah, because of covid-19, i couldn't throw it to a player. >> sean: 75,000 feet wasn't long enough? [ laughter ] that's amazing. >> exactly. >> sean: okay. you once told jimmy that you had a family text chain or something, right? >> yes. >> sean: who's on this chain? >> just the entire family. just all 87 of them. [ laughter ] >> sean: are you kidding? no. >> there's so many. it goes off at all hours of the night. >> sean: really? who's the most annoying? >> aunt linda. [ laughter ] trouble. >> sean: i feel like we all have an aunt linda. >> we do. >> sean: wait, i want to show a screen shot. >> yes, please. >> sean: look at that. it says, this is how i'm traveling in airport and plane, and elizabeth, whoever she is, don't need the plastic, pack another outfit in your hand carry, take off the cloths and shoes before entering the house, wash clothes immediately in lysol, sanitizing -- what is happening? >> she's not wearing shoes in the picture either. >> sean: why so aggressive? >> she wanted to come visit my grandma.
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you know. we're all vaccinated, but she was really scared of taking the plane. she told my grandma, i'll sleep in the laundry room when i get there. [ laughter ]pmy aunt was like, e bedroom. she's like, no, i'm going to sleep in the laundry room, it's clean. [ laughter ] i don't know. she's crazy. i don't know. >> sean: she has the smallest cot, she can just jump into the washer. [ laughter ] >> one of those, yeah. >> sean: quick wash and dry. you added a new member to the family? >> i did, yeah. >> sean: when we were on the podcast -- he's great. wait, tell us who this is. >> this is hangen, she's my new dog yeah. >> sean: and that is -- what's her name? >> hangen. it means "lucky" in korean. >> sean: except for that cone she's wearing. [ laughter ] yeah, that's like a flaccid cone. [ laughter ] >> it's ceremonial, hand-knit garb. >> sean: ceremonial? where is she going?
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>> to her new home. but, you know -- >> sean: she's ready for battle. [ laughter ] that's hilarious. >> if it was a cone, it wouldn't be doing much. yes, she's a -- i mean, it's really different. it's my first dog. >> sean: it is. you have cats? >> i have one cat. >> sean: does the dog get along with the cats? >> we were very nervous. i was nervous about -- the cat is a little crazy. and immediately -- and i think if it was a dog, she would have been fine. but she had never been approached by a cat. >> sean: right. >> and he just rolled up like, hey. just started licking her top hair. >> sean: oh, really? >> she at first was like, no, no. now she just is used to this kind of weird friend that lives in the house. >> sean: you literally just described the mating process between me and my husband. [ laughter ] [ applause ] we'll be back with more awkwafina. (man) my ex is dating a pisces.
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mention that my name's not technically sean. >> what is it? >> it's shanxi. >> shanji? >> shang. >> shan. >> shang. >> you changed your name from shang to sean? >> yeah, i don't -- yeah. >> i wonder how your father found you -- >> i was 15 years old, all right? >> what is your name change logic? you're going into hiding and your name is michael, you change to mischael? >> that's thought n you're like hiding. my name's gina, i'm going into hiding, my new name's jina. [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: that was awkwafina in "shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings." shang to sean. that's so funny to me. that's like, clark kent,
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superman. superman, clark kent. nobody can tell. tell us about the movie and the character. >> yeah, i was -- >> sean: here's the thing. disney, we all love disney, thank you. >> yeah. >> sean: disney is amazing, right? oh my god. [ laughter ] and they sent me a link to watch the movie but it was like -- i had to do this, sign up for this, get this password, it was crazy. it's like, i can't figure this out. >> no idea, didn't watch the movie. that's cool. >> sean: it was insane. i honestly tried. i couldn't. it was yesterday. i was like, i can't do this in 24 hours, please help me. >> yeah. oh, with the i.t.? oh, oh, yeah. [ laughter ] i mean, i can help you reset your password. are you on a mac or pc? >> sean: i don't even know. [ laughter ] >> okay.i ve it. the movie is -- i was able to watch it recently. and it felt -- it's just really special. >> sean: and you're going to feel like crazy, excited,
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honored to be part of -- >> yeah. >> sean: every actor dreams of being part of a marvel thing. >> it's a great universe to be a part of, even when you're filming, it's like the craft is so good. [ laughter ] the on-set food. >> sean: they spend a lot of money on those things. >> they do. as far as my character, i can say -- i can't say a lot. but she is a friend of shang-chi's. >> sean: you can't say a lot because you're going to get a blow dart to the back? [ laughter ] >> i really hope not, yeah, no. >> sean: you have an action figure, which is fun. >> oh, yeah, yes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, love that. >> sean: shang-chi! >> again, i can't say much. >> sean: did you fight with a bow and arrow, or did you just go to a renaissance fair? [ laughter ] >> there's a bow and arrow i'm
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holding in that, yeah. >> sean: and you play what, you play a valet? >> yeah, so sean and i work at a -- we park cars at a hotel. and my character loves to drive. [ laughter ] yeah. >> sean: it looks like it. >> thank you, yes. >> sean: that's so funny. have you ever been pulled over? >> yeah, yes, i have, yeah. >> sean: you have to tell me about that. >> well. >> sean: a little of this? >> no, no, totally sober, unfortunately. one time was not even speeding, i was literally just singing show tunes really loud out of my car. i was on bleeker street in saturday night traffic, and the cop just walked up to my window, pretty much. excuse me! and i was like, oh, oh! yeah. [ laughter ] >> sean: singing show tunes? >> i was singing "rent." one song, "glory." >> sean: that's brilliant. can you sing a little bit of that right now? no, we can't pay for that.
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>> yeah, no. [ laughter ] >> sean: we can't pay for that. >> no. >> sean: thank you so much for coming. i'm a huge, huge fan. "shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings" opens in theaters september 3rd, and season 2 of "nora from queens" airs wednesdays at 10:00 p.m. on comedy central. we'll be back with keke palmer. ♪ smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover ♪ ♪ gon' pop like trouble ♪ ♪ breaking into your heart like that ♪ ♪ do the boogie, like ♪ ♪ side step, right-left, to my beat ♪ ♪ high like the moon, rock with me, baby ♪ ♪ know that i got that heat ♪ ♪ let me show you 'cause talk is cheap ♪ ♪ side step, right ♪ ♪ get it, let it roll ♪ these fudge brownie m&m's are really fudgey yes they are. to put a fudge brownie center in an m&m's is... genius! i know. i was going to say hard! why won't you...
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i'm morgan, and there's more to me than hiv. more love, more adventure, mmore community. crispy chicken sandwich. but with my hiv treatment, there's not more medicines in my pill. i talked to my doctor and switched to fewer medicines with dovato. dovato is for some adults who are starting hiv-1 treatment or replacing their current hiv-1 regimen. with just 2 medicines in 1 pill, dovato is as effective as a 3-drug regimen... to help you reach and stay undetectable. research shows people who take hiv treatment as prescribed and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit hiv through sex. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or if you take dofetilide. taking dovato with dofetilide can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. hepatitis b can become harder to treat while on dovato. don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor, as your hepatitis b may worsen or become life-threatening. serious or life-threatening side effects can occur, including allergic reactions, lactic acid buildup,
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and liver problems. if you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction, stop dovato and get medical help right away. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are, may be, or plan to be pregnant. dovato may harm your unborn baby. use effective birth control while on dovato. do not breastfeed while taking dovato. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. so much goes into who i am. hiv medicine is one part of it. ask your doctor about dovato-i did. ♪ [♪] if you're only using facial moisturizer in the morning, did you know, the best time for skin renewal is at night? add olay retinol24 to your nighttime skincare routine. it combines hydrating moisturizers with powerful retinoids to renew millions of surface skin cells while you sleep. plus, it hydrates better than a $100 retinol cream. wake up to smoother, younger-looking skin
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♪ >> sean: welcome back. before we move on, i think we should do a tissue check-in. what's going on? nothing. oh my god, what the [ bleep ], you guys? i didn't want to say, but if this tissue doesn't get me at least five grand, i'm going to be living on the street. [ laughter ] anyway, our next guest tonight is a multi-talented entertainer who, at this very moment, is nominated for an emmy for her portrayal of an entire family. >> i'm done sharing screen time with this family. i need the spotlight. ja rule has offered me my own show on his new network firefly. >> absolutely not. >> it's risky after that whole festival thing, but if ashante is still on tour with him, it ain't too foolish of me. [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: "turnt up with the taylors" is on facebook, watch now. please welcome keke palmer. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> it is so nice to see all you guys, all masked up, everybody's healthy and good. [ cheers and applause ] got the vaccine. just to happy to see people again. >> sean: yeah, look, i am the gayest man alive, and you are gorgeous. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, love. >> sean: look at this outfit. >> you know the queens. >> sean: this is amazing. you're currently shooting, do you want to tell everybody? jordan peele's new movie. >> yes, i'm so excited. >> sean: he's the guy who brought us that little tiny movie called "get out." >> yes, "get out." i've been obsessed with "key & peele." we're currently filming "nope." coming out in 2022. >> sean: can you tell us what it's about? >> nope. [ laughter ] >> sean: can you tell us who's in it? >> nope. [ laughter ] >> sean: this is another disney movie? >> no. >> sean: no, okay.
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>> i can tell you that -- it's kaluuya, steven paine and myself. that's about all i can tell you, love. >> sean: you really hive to keep it a secret? >> i do. >> sean: when does it come out? >> july 22nd, 2022, i think. but you know, it's really stressful. because i'm not the kind of person that really holds a lot of secrets. i'm very out with it. >> sean: i didn't get that from you, no. [ laughter ] >> it's really bringing me a lot of anxiety, even just talking about it, i know jordan's going to be watching. >> sean: had you known him before? >> i actually met jordan when i was 17. i did an episode of "key & peele." i played malia obama's tearer, when he would do those sketches. i thought, maybe i could have fun with comedy. he believed in me, was pushing me, improv and stuff. ten years later, here we are doing "nope." [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: how about that. >> so cool.
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>> sean: you know, he's going to be -- he already is kind of a now-legendary director. >> he really is. >> everything he touches is amazing, it's so cool. you are hilarious on your social media, especially with your mom. >> oh my gosh, my mom. >> sean: i want you guys to see this video, this is hilarious. >> i need you all to know my mom, i always know my dad's getting ready to come into town because my mom gets a new wig. >> oh, my -- >> show them the wig that you got for larry. >> no, i will not. >> the other wig was walking around like george washington. >> the quaker oats man? >> moving it! [ applause ] >> i need you guys to understand. my parents are the best love story you never did see. because they have been in love, my mom and dad met when they were like, mom was like 18 or so. they've been married now for 33 years. and they are so obsessed with each other. one time my dad and my mom were mic'd up for something that we're doing, and my dad, they had to come up to my dad and
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say, larry, we heard what you're going to do to sharon after this is over. [ laughter ] we just need you to know that we heard about you going to get into that backside. [ laughter ] >> sean: how many people heard this? >> all the producers that were filming. >> sean: no. >> they heard him on the mic. because my dad, he just -- i don't know why he does it but they are so into each other after all these years. >> sean: how many years? >> 33 years. >> sean: wow. [ applause ] >> still in love as ever. >> sean: do they flirt in front of you? >> oh my gosh, all the time. my 16th birthday, right? you know, everybody -- people have videos, oh, happy birthday, all these different faces. family, friends, loved ones. at the end my parents are like, we love you, keke, so happy for you, turning 16. okay, video's over. then they came back on and they said, and this is for you! and started making out. [ laughter ] >> sean: oh my gosh. >> and y'all, i'm not talking about no smooch. i'm talking about --
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[ laughter ] >> sean: yeah. >> mom and dad, why? >> sean: that's -- that's a sight. >> that is a sight to see. who want to see 40-year-olds making out? [ laughter ] just kidding. >> sean: i was going to ask you if your mom ever embarrassed you, but i think that was the answer. [ laughter ] >> you know, the thing about my mom is she's so fun and funny. it's like, even an embarrassing moment ends up becoming a great, classic, legendary sharing moment. i remember for years my mom ran my social media sites. twitter, my website, because i started out so young. i had a private page that i would be on with my personal friends. and one time my friend is like, you have a lot of followers on your professional twitter account. i'm like, really? my mom was really working it. she worked me up to 300k. i'm like, oh, wow, i got a lot of followers. all of a sudden i started looking down. i see her tweeting back the trolls talking about, no, you the bitch, bitch! [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm like, mom!
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you cannot cuss the fans and the trolls! and she's like, but you're my daughter, they called you a bitch! i said, mom, you can't do this. >> sean: yeah, i said it once. [ laughter ] >> i had to change my password. >> sean: i only did it once. congratulations on your emmy nomination. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. and what a great idea. i love the idea you play every single character from a reality tv series? >> i don't know why i did that. [ laughter ] >> sean: it's so great. seems like so much work. >> it really is a lot of work. i took my hat off to every entertainer i've seen. growing up, you've seen amanda bynes do it at 12 years old, obviously eddie murphy, my favorite, martin lawrence. i thought, why not? character, clsea barbi with thtas." with facebook watch. why not do the whole family?
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brainstorming. we created the taylor family. dad rick, gammy, chelsea -- miranda, the little brother -- >> sean: it's based on real family members? >> rick is a little bit -- kind of gives me my dad vibes. very prayerful. he's a god-fearing man! [ laughter ] at the end of the day, god is with you! it's like a little bit of my dad type of vibe. but when i created chelsea, it was because i felt like a lot of times we don't really get to see that black girl character that is like chelsea, kind of almost like a paris hilton-esque vibe. she doesn't listen to hip-hop, she doesn't wear the clothes you'd consider her needing to wear. what would that look like to bring a character like that to life? i remember the first time i did the sketch, people thought that wasn't even my voice. i went to private school. [ laughter ] i know what to do. >> sean: well, that's great. something tells me it's not going to be the first emmy nom, you're so talented, you're hilarious. >> what? stop it. [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: "turnt up with the taylors." it's on facebook watch now.
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be right back with music from daryl hall and john oates. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ for those who see everyone's safety as equally important... experience our advanced standard safety technology on a full line of vehicles, at the lexus golden opportunity sales event. experience amazing at your lexus dealer.
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concert series" is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> sean: if you're in l.a. on october 1st, you can see these guys at the hollywood bowl, but right now, playing their classic "rich girl" from their tour stop in mansfield, massachusetts, daryl hall and john oates! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you're a rich girl and you've gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway ♪ ♪ you can rely on the old man's money you can rely on the old man's money ♪ ♪ it's a bitch, girl but it's gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway ♪ ♪ say money but it won't get you too far get you too far ♪ ♪ don't you know don't you know that it's wrong to take what is given you ♪ ♪ so far gone on your own you
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can get along if you try to be strong ♪ ♪ but you'll never be strong 'cause ♪ ♪ you're a rich girl and you've gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway ♪ ♪ you can rely on the old man's money you can rely on the old man's money ♪ ♪ it's a bitch, girl and it's gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway ♪ ♪ say money but it won't get you too far get you too far ♪ ♪ high and dry out of the rain it's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain ♪ ♪ and don't you know that a love can't grow 'cause there's too much to give ♪ 'cause you'd rather live for the thrill of it all ♪ ♪ you're a rich girl and you've gone too far 'cause you know it
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don't matter anyway ♪ ♪ and you can rely on the old man's money and you can rely on the old man's money ♪ ♪ it's a bitch, girl and it's gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway ♪ ♪ say money but it won't get you too far say money but it won't get you too far ♪ ♪ say money but it won't get you too far get you too far and you say ♪ ♪ you can rely on the old man's money you can rely on the old man's money ♪ ♪ ♪ you're a rich girl a rich girl oh oh oh oh won't get you too far ♪ ♪ ♪ oh won't get you too far ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ burgers: better with pepsi. ahh! [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: that's all the time we have. i want to thank awkwafina, keke palmer, and daryl hall and john oates. i'll be back tomorrow night with my guests, tracee ellis ross and simu liu with music from yola. "nightline" is next. and i've just been told, nobody bought my kleenex. congratulations, lucio and ian. thanks for watching, goodnight!
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, the real cost of war. one family grappling with their staggering loss in afghanistan. a son, a brother, a father to be. >> he thought he would be back in time for the birth of his baby. >> his sister refusing to meet the president. >> i have zero respect. absolutely none. plus the final hours. president biden doubling down on his decision to leave. >> the war in afghanistan is now over. >> with the last u.s. forces gone, the president saying the u.s. will not abandon americans left behind. >> we remain committed to get them out if they want to come out.
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