>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host niall horan. tonight, lizzo, cristo fernandez, and music from kane brown. and now, niall horan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> niall: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] thank you. whoo!

oh, it's good to be back. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i am your guest host niall horan. [ cheers and applause ] whoo! i'm not going to lie, i'm pretty anxious to be doing this. but the last time a pale irishman with no experience hosted a talk show, it was conan o'brien. [ laughter ] so i'm in good company. no worries. everybody has been super supportive, i must say. when i announced i was coming on the show, i got some very, very enthusiastic tweets from my fans. like these. "choking and crying." [ laughter ] "i'm going to pass out." [ laughter ] "no [ bleep ] way holy [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] "oh my [ bleep ] [ bleep ] niall." [ laughter ] all these are in an american accent, by the way. [ laughter ] "no because lizzo and niall are going to make me pee my

[ bleep ] pants akshsjsbdsh." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] good tweets, good tweets. i know. honestly. i really do have the best fans in the world, but they don't have an official name for themselves just yet. there's a few in the mix. some of you may know. "niall nation." [ cheers and applause ] all right, some favorites. or "the niallers." [ cheers and applause ] but tonight, i am going to settle this once and for all. okay.ou ready?- you sound ready. [ laughter ] from now on, my fans will be called -- the horan dogs. [ cheers and applause ] there you have it. yeah. anyone who loves my music is a total horan dog. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i mean, ask him, guillermo, right? >> guillermo: yes. i am a big horn dog. [ laughter and applause ] >> niall: always down to

guillermo, i knew it. guillermo and i have actually known each other for a long time. we were in a band together for many years. it was called "una direción." [ laughter and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, that's right. >> niall: good times. >> guillermo: good times. >> niall: they were crazy, crazy times, amigo. [ laughter ] by the way, have you ever honestly thought about going solo? >> guillermo: maybe one day. [ laughter ] >> niall: i think you should. don't let this kimmel bastard drag you down. he's done it for too many good folks. [ laughter ] but honestly, as i said. the idea of me hosting a comedy show is interesting. i'm a pop star who has the reading age of a 6-year-old, and has zero business being in front of a teleprompter. [ laughter ] it's true. as a small child, i was pulled out of school for worldwide fame and fortune. [ laughter ] when a deal was made with a powerful demon, or as you mortals call him -- simon cowell. [ cheers and applause ]

as i said, i'm from ireland. when people find out i'm irish, that's all they want to talk about. everybody seems to be from ireland in america. [ laughter ] "oh my good, you're irish? my dad's brother's neighbor is irish too! do you know him?" no, i don't! and guess what, i couldn't give two [ bleep ] about him either. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] another thing. you guys are also very misinformed about our traditions. let's take st. patrick's day. first of all, it's not called "patty's day." p-a-t-t-y. like the inside of a burger. [ laughter ] on st. patrick's day in ireland, you just go to mass and light a candle with your granny. [ laughter ] speaking of my granny, it's her 91st birthday today, happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] trouper, trouper! here in america, you sing u2 songs all day, then puke green beer on your uber driver.

[ laughter ] even your sports teams have it wrong. right, let's have a look at this. the notre dame fighting irish. this is their mascot, the leprechaun. [ laughter ] he looks like abraham lincoln had sex with a garden gnome. [ laughter ] if you want fighting irish? conor mcgregor is a fighting irish. [ cheers and applause ] the thing about conor mcgregor, he'll pull your heart right through your ass. [ laughter ] "who the [ bleep ] is abe lincoln anyway? he'll do absolutely nothing, i'll fight him any day!" [ cheers and applause ] there you go. that's my conor mcgregor impression. thank you. [ laughter ] i'm also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs, depending on the price, obviously. [ laughter ] to prove my point that you guys know nothing about my homeland, we sent a camera crew out onto hollywood boulevard to administer a little test. spoiler alert, it did not go well. [ laughter ] >> today we're talking about ireland. do you know anything about ireland? >> very little. >> can you name a city in

ireland? >> dublin. >> can you name a city in ireland? >> dublin. >> dublin. >> name a second one. >> glasgow. [ buzzer ] >> australia. [ buzzer ] >> morocco. [ buzzer ] >> can you point out ireland on this map? >> right here? [ buzzer ] >> point out ireland on that map. >> i'm going to go with this one, it's green. [ buzzer ] >> fill in the blank. the blank irish. >> the drunken irish. >> the drinking irish. [ buzzer ] >> i really don't know, we're going drunking irish. [ buzzer ] >> the blanking irish? >> the [ bleep ] irish. [ buzzer ] >> what did st. patrick do? >> i don't know, i thought he was a leprechaun. [ buzzer ] >> name a famous irish person. >> how about mel gibson. [ buzzer ] >> the lucky charms guy. >> anna kendrick. >> mike myers. [ buzzer ] >> can you name a famous irish member of one direction? >> liam. [ laughter ] >> name a famous irish singer. >> oh, oh -- from one direction?

is it -- uh -- niall? or louis? [ buzzer ] is the irish one niall? >> which one? >> i think louis? >> what's his last name? >> thomasson? i don't like one direction that much. [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: yeah. they're quite overrated, to be fair. anyway. [ laughter ] and one more thing before we crack on. as some of you may know, i'm a big golfer. and last week, i wanted to hit the links. so i called up my mates, kevin, joe, and nick. the jonas brothers. [ cheers and applause ] we've played a lot of rounds of golf together over the years. and this time, i decided to make things interesting. >> hey, guys. welcome to the niall horan and jonas brothers inaugural and one and only golf day. since we're such good golfers, we thought it would be fair, to play golf, we'd handicap ourselves. in the wheel of stupidity, we've

got balls with handicaps on them. and we've got to do what it says. ready, boys? >> ready. >> let's get it. >> other way, kev, wheel of stupidity. >> yes, it is called wheel of stupidity. your opponents get to blow air horns while you shoot. thanks, guys. >> come on! >> there it is. >> spin around ten times with your forehead on your club grip and swing while dizzy. and on the back, my lucky numbers are 7, 16, 25 -- >> you have to play in a kilt with a full set of bagpipes. right on. >> your club is covered in lube, >> wonderful.y slippery. - i brought my own. i'll let you borrow it. >> all right, boys. we've got our handicaps. i look ridiculous, he's got lube, let's go. >> let's do it! [ air horn ] >> oh god. >> this is going to suck. >> welcome to beautiful tarzana, california, for the inaugural jonas brothers invitational, a

winner take all debacle. >> first, kevin jonas, a gentle breeze at his back and three very loud air horns. let's see if he can focus with all this distraction. [ air horn ] >> no, he cannot. >> you did better than i thought you would. >> are you counting off? >> yep. >> announcer: now jean that is. >> one, two -- >> announcer: jonas, tipsy from last night, joe's been celebrating his birth way week and dizzy club could spell disaster. >> eight, nine, ten -- >> oh! >> announcer: a running start. and birthday joe makes contact into the foliage. did you see that? >> awful, awful, awful, awful. >> there it is. >> announcer: nick jonas addresses the ball, fully luy lubricated. >> slick, pretty oiled up here. >> announcer: niall adds last-minute splats of emotion lotion. >> oh, god, the sound. >> announcer: slick nick attempts his first tee shot. >> looks like your arms just stopped working.

>> have you played this game? >> announcer: lube it or lose it, nick. >> oh! you hit the cart! you're in play, you're in play. >> niall, play us a tune before you swing. >> all right. ♪ >> announcer: wow, that is a sight to see. >> you would think this is what i look like when i play golf generally. i'mnot sure i can do this. oh! we're in play! >> announcer: niall's ball hits a friendly bounce off the cart path, he's sitting pretty. >> shall we? >> let's get it. >> let's do it. >> announcer: it's kevin and niall versus nick and joe in a best ball scramble. joe will play nick's tee shot where it lies, atop a sprinkler head, i don't believe it. >> a free drop, right? >> announcer: or a free kick, looks like. >> there we go. >> announcer: make that two free kicks. okay, one big toss onto the fairway. two strokes in and they are already making a mockery of this dignified sport. >> lube me up. thank you.

>> announcer: it's a putter from 180 yards out. that's a bold choice. >> smart play. hey! >> you're getting good at this lube golf. >> now it's up to you, kev. >> announcer: kevin will play the tee shot made by his teammate, niall horan. [ air horn ] >> oh, what a shot! >> announcer: just like that, kevin and niall on the green in two. >> okay, the best golf shot you've ever hit. >> wow, you are so horn-y. [ air horn ] >> yeah, i am. >> come on. nine, ten -- good job. >> announcer: a surprisingly good shot from joe. >> you've done well, considering. >> announcer: dizzy gillespie and lube-y armstrong. >> do you think we're safe? >> you're safe, i'm used to this lube life. >> yeah! >> oh, wow. >> oh, no, the sand. >> announcer: we're taking a trip to the beach. >> sand and lube. not the greatest combination of all time. >> a little grit? a little friction?

>> announcer: joe jonas quietly retching in the background. joe is a veteran golfer, he knows to do sick-up in a sand trap. it's nature's litter box. >> there you go. >> nice out. >> good out. >> there it is, there it is. >> look how good that was. >> announcer: while on the green, the wheels are completely off. >> how far out, kev? >> the bagpipes must be in front, you know the rules. >> sorry. >> announcer: niall with a putt for birdie, and it's a bit short. >> oh, almost. >> announcer: ten more spins and here comes joe. >> all right, up the hill. >> announcer: he sends his putt into next week. just ugly golf. here to put us out of our misery is kevin jonas for par. [ air horn ] >> loser! loser! >> like i said. >> loser! >> just tap it in. >> yeah! >> we just won. >> hello! >> announcer: and there you have it. not sure what it was, but it's over. >> i want to shake your hand. >> leave him alone. >> since you're losers, you can wash our balls. >> oh, wow.

>> announcer: now for the ceremonial washing of the balls. look at that technique. we apologize to all those offended, and may god have mercy on our souls. good night. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: we have a great show for you tonight. cristo fernandez from "ted lasso" is here. we've got music from kane brown. and we'll be right back with the queen -- lizzo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ forecast, plenty of sunshine through today day. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ rush hour will never feel the same.

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show "ted lasso" on apple tv plus, cristo fernandez is here. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! then later -- his "blessed and free tour" starts october 1st in sacramento, california. his song is called "one mississippi." music from kane brown. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, the wonderful rupaul will take over hosting duties with his guests iliza shlelsinger and symone, with music from tai verdez. but first, our first guest is a three-time grammy award-winning singer, rapper, and songwriter who is classically trained in both the flute and the highly esteemed art of the twerk. [ cheers ] her new single "rumors" featuring cardi b is out now. please say hello to my beautiful friend lizzo! [ cheers and applause ] >> hi! what's up? >> niall: i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] look at you. >> hey, all. >> niall: my beautiful woman, how's it going? >> oh, you know. [ laughter ]

it's going good. this is the sexiest call i've ever been on. [ laughter ] >> niall: yeah, me too. geez. i get a bit hot in this nutmeg-colored suit. [ laughter ] by the way -- >> nothing sexier than nutmeg. >> niall: you said it, i didn't. how about all of those awards? [ cheers and applause ] oh my gosh. >> these? oh. >> niall: what, these? >> it's nothing, it's nothing. >> niall: oh my gosh. >> i don't like to brag, you know what i mean? i don't like to brag. it's just my bookshelf. [ laughter ] >> niall: by the way, speaking of success, with success comes fans. you know you've made it when your fans have their own name. your fans go by what? >> the lizzbians. [ cheers and applause ] we're all lizzbians. >> niall: oh my god, it's amazing. i started out mine tonight, mine are now called the horan dogs. [ cheers and applause ]

>> oh, i like that. >> niall: yeah, it depends what country you come from, it sounds a little bit different. >> oh, in america it's a horndog, okay? [ laughter ] >> niall: we speak the same language. >> i think you're giving me a one erection, baby. [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: oh my god. before you became the queen of the lizzbians, you had some previous jobs. you used to be the queen of liberty tax. tell us about that. [ laughter ] >> i was a bad bitch back then. [ laughter and applause ] i signed up to be a sign spinner. so when i went to my job interview, i wore heels, my hair was done, my makeup was -- you know what i'm saying? i've always been a performer, i always take my jobs very seriously.

i went up to liberty tax beat to the gods. ready to spin some signs. >> niall: whoo-hoo! >> i was on the corner, spinning them damn signs. i looked so good, they promoted me to be lady liberty. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: did you have any sales pitch lines while you were spinning the thing? >> ha, no. it was body language, niall, body language. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: whoo-hoo! well, you have something else. we both started in groups. but yours wasn't televised and can be seen on youtube whenever you want, forever and ever and ever. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i was in a -- it's okay, niall. you want a hug? [ laughter ] [ applause ] you need a hug, baby? i was in, like, thousands of

girl groups. my first girl group ever was called the corn row clique. we'd be like, corn row clique! we all had different corn rows, wore different colored jordans, walking down the street, rapping our songs. >> niall: oh, right, do you know any lyrics or do you remember any songs? >> our first hit song, it was number one on the high school charts. [ laughter ] in houston, texas. >> niall: sure. >> it was called "it don't matter though." ♪ it don't matter though it don't matter though ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it don't matter though it don't matter though ♪ ♪ hut hut hut hut ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> nailed it! ding! >> niall: let's talk about this new single. "rumors" with cardi b that's out right now. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, look at these two

ladies. >> don't we look -- we look beautiful, oh my god. you know, she whispered in my ear when we took that picture, "i want to lick your [ bleep ]." [ laughter ] right before we took that photo. >> niall: i mean -- this is brilliant. >> sorry, i just wanted to tell you that, i forgot there's people there. [ laughter and applause ] >> niall: there's no one here, it's just sound effects. [ laughter ] >> there you go. oh my god. i mean, i need a little audience laughter reaction box to hype me up too. [ laughter ] can y'all give me something? [ cheers and applause ] yes, i'll see you in a moment. >> niall: i mean, this is the best guest ever. i just -- when i woke up this

morning, i went on billboard, i had a look. we're in at number four, straight away on billboard hot 100. [ cheers and applause ] >> wow. >> niall: yeah, baby. >> it's my highest debut to this day. so i'm just -- [ cheers and applause ] blessings. thank you. >> niall: you are amazing. >> i'm grateful to cardi b, too. she really killed it on the song. her and cardi jr. were in my music video. [ laughter ] she brought her pregnant ass to set. i'm eternally grateful. fiches pregnant, i would want to sit my ass at home, prop my feet, eat hot cheetos and tacos. [ applause ] >> niall: i do that and i'm not even pregnant. [ laughter ] >> there you go. you want to change that? [ cheers and applause ] [ rim shot ] >> niall: can you believe this girl?

if you think it's fiery now, wait till you see what we have planned for the next segment. [ laughter and applause ] there is one thing, lizzo, while we're here, that i wanted to talk about. there's a lyric in the song. "no i ain't [ bleep ] drake yet." [ laughter ] do explain. >> okay. so the original line was "no i ain't [ bleep ] niall yet." [ cheers and applause ] but they said it was a wee bit -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the label said it was a little bit provocative. so we -- you know, i changed it to drake, a safer bet. [ laughter ] >> niall: yeah. job done. take it off, move on. [ cheers and applause ] have you heard from drake? has he heard about this? >> i think he's heard the number four song in the country. >> niall: oh!

[ cheers and applause ] >> i think he's heard it. >> niall: whoo! on that note -- >> actually, i have heard from drake. but that's all i'm going to say on that. >> niall: we'll talk after this. more with lizzo after this! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ more for unlimited 5g. metro doesn't. introducing the big 5g upgrade. just twenty-five bucks a month gets you unlimited 5g and a free 5g smartphone. that's half the price... ...for one line of unlimited 5g smartphone data ...plus a free samsung galaxy 5g when you switch and trade-in. all with the power of the t-mobile 5g network. rule your day with 5g. only at metro by t-mobile.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> niall: welcome back, welcome back, everybody. lizzo, do you remember the first time we ever met? >> oh my god. like it was yesterday. [ laughter ] do you remember it? >> niall: oh, so fondly. [ laughter ] >> that's right. we were at the -- it was in london. >> niall: yep. >> right? at the radio station? >> niall: uh-huh. >> it was like bbc radio 1. and i remember i pulled up, and there was like all of these like girls, all these fans, and i was like, oh my gosh, my fans are waiting for me! [ laughter ] i got out of the car. i got out of the car, they didn't give a [ bleep ] about me. [ laughter ]

wait a minute. who are all these people here for? then i went inside, and it was you. and they introduced me to you. and you were like, congratulations, lizzo, you're smashing it. and i was like, i'll smash you. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know where you from, but from where i'm from, if you say smash that only mean one thing, you know what i'm saying? >> niall: yeah, it means -- [ cheers and applause ] it means a completely different thing back home, but i get where you're coming from. >> wait, what does it mean where you're from? >> niall: you're doing well, you're smashing it, well done. you, you're smashing it. over here, it's like, you smash it! [ laughter ] >> oh. i like your american accent. what you say, you said "california" earlier sacramento, california.

>> niall: sacramento, california. [ laughter ] >> not bad. fine. i'll help you out. >> niall: by the way, since then, all my fans, and i'm sure your fans too, feel like we should date. [ cheers and applause ] maybe they're on to something. maybe they're on to something, but before we commit, we should maybe see if we're, like, good for each other. i created a little quiz. >> okay. >> niall: got the answers prepared. and i've called it -- >> nervous. >> niall: "are we compatible?" [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. >> niall: this is the weirdest first date i've ever been on. [ laughter ] through a television. live on jimmy kimmel. question number one is, if we get married, would you make me sign a prenup? [ laughter ] >> oh! >> niall: oh! >> oho! wait a minute, who got more money?

[ cheers and applause ] i want some of that one direction money! [ cheers and applause ] you know what, now, i trust you. we wouldn't have to sign a prenup. [ audience aww'ing ] >> niall: i was just hoping my next album was going to do well, then i wouldn't have to steal p. [ laughter ] >> you've got this, boo. >> niall: but also, i love you and i trust you. [ audience aww'ing ] >> aww! >> niall: oh, there's some really sexy chords going on here. ♪ what is the minimum number of dates before i can fart in front of you? [ laughter ] serious question, by the way. >> this is where it ends, honey. this is a real question. >> niall: this might be the most important one.

>> first of all, i don't fart. i have rose air that kind of just, you know -- >> niall: me too. >> ssssttt! like a nice breeze. i would say, never. i have a sensitive nose. i can smell a flea fart. >> niall: me too! but i am going to struggle with this. [ laughter ] >> wait. so what about you? >> niall: you can do whatever you want in front of me, girl. [ cheers and applause ] >> flop that, flop that. >> niall: oh, please. why did i sign up for this? i'm embarrassing myself. here's a good question. pretty frisky one. if we had a three-way -- [ audience moaning ] who would be the third person? >> oh [ bleep ].

y'all going to get me in -- y'all going to get me in trouble, y'all going to get me in [ bleep ] trouble. [ applause ] y'all really are, because you already know. damn, who would be the third person? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> there we go! >> niall: guillermo! >> guillermo: i'm good! >> yeah! that's my answer. [ laughter ] >> niall: she didn't even have to speak, guillermo. a look saying more than words ever could. that's beautiful. >> yes, guillermo. >> guillermo: i love you! >> i love you too! >> niall: last one. see if you can turn me on with your sexiest animal noise. >> wow. oh, what can i do? you know what? i can do a really sexy hawk. [ laughter ] [ bird cry ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> niall: oh, wow. >> you like that? >> niall: that's so impressive. >> okay, your turn. >> niall: oh. baaaa! [ laughter ] baaaa! [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, wow, is that what it sounds like, niall? >> niall: that was it. either a small lamb or a big goat? depending on what mood you're in. >> a small lamb? big goat? or you in the bedroom? [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: wowie. by the way. since it's obvious that we're so compatible, jimmy left this in my dressing room. it's a $25 gift card for dave and buster's. [ laughter ] we can eat, drink, play, and watch as much as we want,

whatever we want. >> you know how much fun that would be? i would love to do that with you. >> niall: honestly, we should honestly do that. text you later. oh! lizzo, thank you so much, you're an absolute queen. you've been the best guest any host could ever imagine. [ cheers and applause ] and congratulations. thank you so much, lizzo. lizzo's single "rumors" featuring cardi b is out now. we'll be back with cristo fernandez! [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> niall: yeah! welcome back. our next guest is a professional soccer player turned professional actor who now acts as a professional soccer player on the twenty-time emmy-nominated series "ted lasso." >> enjoy your free coffee. >> i don't drink coffee. my mother says i was born caffeinated. is it okay if i give it to my neighbor? she doesn't drink coffee, but her son does, and she's trying to encourage visits from him. >> sure. >> excellent. [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: yeah! new episodes of "ted lasso" air fridays on apple tv plus. please welcome cristo fernandez. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> niall: yeah, cristo

fernandez! it's great to meet you. >> thank you for having me here. still my family cannot believe, especially my sister, because she's a huge fan. >> niall: really? >> i told her, do you know niall horan? she messaged me, i clicked on it, "aahhh!" for a whole minute. she's jealous. [ laughter ] >> niall: i'm a big fan of her brother, i've been watching "ted lasso" religiously. [ cheers and applause ] it's amazing. >> thank you. >> niall: it really is. congratulations on all the success. it's insane, really. >> thank you very much. >> niall: you play danny rojas. >> yes. >> niall: danny rojas is a guy who walks around preaching the word of football. football is life! [ laughter ] >> it is like that, yeah, yeah. >> niall: football is life? >> football is life, football is football, football is death, football is life. [ laughter ] >> niall: so do you find it, like i do, do you find it annoying when americans call it soccer? >> i have to be honest, i do. [ laughter ]

no, but the thing is, i mean, i appreciate when everyone comes and thanks you for the show. it means everything. but yeah, i mean, i'm from mexico. so in mexico -- [ cheers and applause ] lots of mexicans here, thank you. so, i mean, football is football. everyone knows football. so i'm afraid one day they're going to find me in a bad mood, "soccer is life!" and i'm going to be, "it's football, you wanker!" [ laughter ] >> niall: football is actually life for you. >> it was. >> niall: you played football professionally? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i didn't reach the highest participation level, but i started playing since i was 15 professionally, i played in different parts of my hometown in mexico, then i played a bit in puerto rico, then the dream was up. then my parents intelligently told me to go for new dreams. i had injuries in my knees. i went and followed my dreams in acting and filmmaking, just go with that. [ cheers and applause ]

>> niall: so obviously jason sudeikis wrote "ted lasso." how did that come about, and were you a fan of him beforehand? >> yeah, 100%. i grew up watching him in "snl," so i knew all of his work there. i saw some films. so i really love his work. i still remember the first time i met him was the first day we had the table read at "ted lasso." and i was meeting everyone, everyone's so nice, this is cool, this is amazing. and of course i was not ready. and then i just felt like on my shoulder someone touching me. i look. and he was -- it was jason. it was like, "hello, we're very happy to have you here." "nice to meet you, jason sudeikis!" [ laughter ] "no, no, the pleasure is ours, call me jason." "yes, jason sudeikis!" [ laughter and applause ] but you know, like -- i mean, someone like that, it's jason

sudeikis. he was "jason sudeikis" for many weeks. i don't think i will ever be, if i meet steven spielberg, "hey, steven!" "hey, steven spielberg." >> niall: fair enough. nervous around him, i get that, fair enough. i remember when i first started coming to l.a., going to events, i come from a small town in ireland, you know. nothing happens. i come to l.a. you know, seeing the lights and the flashing cameras and the press and the fans everywhere. do you recall your first -- obviously your first was the "ted lasso" premiere? >> yeah, that was the biggest thing i've ever experienced in my life. it felt a bit of -- it was a whole crazy adventure, it's a miracle i'm here, that's another story. i spent a whole week in mexico, i literally arrived on thursday, premiere 7:00 p.m., i arrived thursday at 1:00, 2:00 a.m. i had my bag, some clothes. dirty, messy.

they gave me clothes, thank god. i make it to the premiere. lots of flashing lights and "cristo fernandez!" oh my god. i was meeting so many people. it's something that happened -- i was very happy to see my friend, my cast, catching up. taking pictures with this man, he was kind, kept approaching me, "cristo, i love your work, you're amazing, amazing." "thank you very much." took pictures with him, he was really empathetic with me. "you're the best." he left. i was like, oh my god. i turned with my publicist, "who was that lovely man? he was amazing." i just hear, like -- "i'll tell you in a second." okay. i didn't realize it was mr. apple man himself, it was tim cook. [ laughter and applause ] no, don't applaud, i was so embarrassed, i wanted to die.

i know the name. i am new in l.a. everything is new. flashlights. i hope i can have another meeting. [ laughter ] now i know who he is. >> niall: you're lucky your sho on quibi. [ applause ] thank you so much for being here. listen, i've got a football here. >> oh, okay. [ cheers ] >> niall: i don't know how we're going to fare. oh, he's doing it. >> i am. >> niall: that's smart. maybe not with this. ♪ guillermo? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> niall: thank you so much. >> thank you so much. >> niall: thank you. thanks, cristo. new episodes of "ted lasso" air fridays on apple tv plus.

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>> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> niall: it's music time. with his new song, "one mississippi." two mississippi, three shots of whiskey. from nashville, kane brown! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ you and i had this off and on so long ♪ ♪ you've been here then you've been gone so many times ♪ ♪ and every night i'm always bumping into you ♪ ♪ well, you do the same things we used to ♪ ♪ it's your place or it's mine, so ♪ ♪ ohhhhhh ohhhh ohhh we'll lie and swear we're through ♪ ♪ with the lonely drunken deja

vu ♪ ♪ ohhhh ohhhh ohhhhhh five minutes out of downtown ♪ ♪ ain't nothing but a countdown ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi ♪ ♪ three shots of whiskey are you on your way ♪ ♪ we're tipsy, baby come kiss me ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi three in the mornin' ♪ ♪ we'll be on our way so tipsy can't stop kissin' ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait forever ♪ ♪ every time i'm at this bar ♪ ♪ tap on the shoulder turn around ♪ ♪ and baby there you are ♪ ♪ and it's fire yeah, like this bourbon 100-proof ♪ ♪ yeah, they don't burn the way you do ♪ ♪ yeah, we're better in the dark, so ♪ ♪ ohhhhhh ohhhh ohhh we'll lie and swear we're through ♪ ♪ with the lonely drunken deja

vu ♪ ♪ ohhhh ohhhh ohhhhhh five minutes out of downtown ♪ ♪ ain't nothing but a countdown ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi ♪ ♪ three shots of whiskey are you on your way ♪ ♪ we're tipsy, baby come kiss me ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi three in the mornin' ♪ ♪ we'll be on our way so tipsy can't stop kissin' ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait forever ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ kinda like that georgia wind we'll be gone and back again ♪ ♪ but always wind up right back where we are ♪ ♪ playing roulette with our hearts ♪ ♪ and blowing smoke rings in the dark ♪

♪ yeah, ohhhhhh ohhhh ohhh we'll lie and swear we're through ♪ ♪ with the lonely drunken deja vu ♪ ♪ ohhhh ohhhh ohhhhhh five minutes out of downtown ♪ ♪ ain't nothing but a countdown ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi ♪ ♪ three shots of whiskey are you on your way ♪ ♪ we're tipsy, baby come kiss me ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait ♪ ♪ one mississippi two mississippi three in the mornin' ♪ ♪ we'll be on our way so tipsy can't stop kissin' ♪ ♪ i can't wait i can't wait forever ♪ ♪ every time i'm at this bar ♪ ♪ tap on the shoulder turn around ♪ ♪ and baby there you are ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> niall: that is all we have time for. i want to thank lizzo -- cristo fernandez -- kane brown -- the jonas brothers -- and jimmy kimmel. watch rupaul host tomorrow. "nightline" is next. and to all my horan dogs out there, goodnight! ♪

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> stop right there. >> step towards justice. >> stop right there. >> elijah mcclain, a young black man coming home from the convenience store, stopped by police. now two years after his death, rare criminal charges against three officers and two paramedics. >> just because police have a badge on, they're not above the law. >> i been praying. been praying for two years. it's a prayer answered. plus selena and friends. the superstar -- >> i am so nervous, i'm excited >> -- teams up with comic legends martin short and steve martin. >> selena was right there trying to figure us out. >> i still am. >> ami