so many ways to watch. thank you so much for watching tonight. i'm ama daetz. dan: i'm dan a >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jennifer aniston. dave burd, aka lil dicky. and music from bazzi. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you, thank you. welcome. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for that arsenio barking. i appreciate it. thanks for staying up late after the football -- on a rare and welcome monday night of football here on abc. the raiders hosted the baltimore ravens in las vegas.

stadiums are back to full capacity, whether they should be or not. fans this weekend packed the stands. even tailgate parties are back. people gathered around to eat and drink in the parking lot, which is how we found guillermo, by the way, is eating and drinking in the parking lot. it was like a tailgate party without the game. some stadiums had special safety guidelines this weekend. some required proof of vaccination. some made you show a negative covid test. and some had no rules at all. in jacksonville if you have covid, hot dogs are half price. that's how they do it. [ laughter ] i had an eventful weekend. i don't know if i told you this, but i got a shout out from former president donald jessica trump this weekend. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. thank you. i'm not sure. i'm not sure why we're clapping, but i'll figure it out later. [ laughter ] fiberace sat down with greg gutfeld of fox news, where they discussed, of all things, me. and i want to share this with you because it's fascinating.

i mean, everyone knows the guy lies non-stop. but it's really especially interesting when the story he's making up involves you. he told this story once before at a rally. he has it in his head that when he was on our show before he was running for president i would wait outside to greet him. which not only did i not do for him. i've never done for any guest ever. you guys have been out in front of this building. i'm not walking out there, okay? [ laughter ] [ applause ] the guests don't even come in the front door. the guests come in the back. anyway, here is the story which, again, i find so compelling because the story is so incredibly specific, and also completely untrue. >> jimmy kimmel, i did his show many times before i was doing this. he used to greet me on the sidewalk. he used to wait for me. nobody else. this is before i was a politician. >> yeah. >> can you believe i said i was a politician? i hate to say that but listen, he used to, jimmy kimmel, wait for me outside his studio in los

angeles, very crowded street. when i came, he kissed my ass all the way. and then what happens? i run and all of a sudden i'm like his horrible guy. this guy, go back to his old shows. >> "the man show"? >> he was nervous to talk to me. he'd meet me at the car. i think he might have even opened my door. and now it's different. >> jimmy: i was out there like a valet. i think he genuinely believes this happened. not only is this a fairy tale from beginning to end, he says he was on our show "many times" before he was a politician. before he ran for president, he was on the show one time, in 2007, with carrot top by the way. [ laughter ] and i think we picked the wrong guy. at the time he was the host of "the apprentice," which was the 75th most popular show on tv that week. but he has me in his mind out on the street waving, waiting for him like i'm a dog or eric or something. which is so strange. if you're going make stuff up,

why not make it interesting? why not say he gave me a piggyback ride. i rubbed his feet. guillermo, did you wait outside for him? maybe is he confusing us? >> guillermo: [ bleep ] no, jimmy. [ applause ] never. >> jimmy: that donald trump is still thinking about me, because i'm still thinking about him too. donny and his third favorite son don jr. paid tribute to the victims of 9/11 on saturday night on the 20th anniversary of the attacks with a paid gig doing boxing commentary from the hard rock hotel in hollywood, florida. howard cosell-out told friends he was being paid an obscene amount of money to lend his talents to the broadcast. he really knocked it out of the park with boxing analysis like this. >> i think he has two sons that were all-american ppz but jim jordan and he's smart. and you've got to be smart. muhammad ali was smart. >> very smart. very smart.

♪ >> jimmy: wow. he's just as good at announcing as he was at presidenting. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, president biden was here in california today campaigning for governor newsom ahead of tomorrow's recall vote. also, he ran out of weed gummies. he needed to stock back up. being president is not a fun job right now. climate change. murder hornets. and, of course, the relentlessly maddening fact that joe biden has to ask people to take a lifesaving vaccine. it's like if we were skydiving and he had to convince us to open our parachutes. it is ridiculous. but this is an interesting statistic. covid deaths have proven to be much higher in states that voted for trump. basically, if your state has more geds than phds, stay indoors. of the 54,000 americans who've died from covid since the start of the summer, almost 1 in 5 has died in florida. which my god, all those orphan ferrets. it's a shame.

but it's not just the right wingnuts who are smarter than science. a lot of the lululemon crowd is opting out too. these wellness influencers, some with big followings, are spreading dangerous misinformation. people like evie kevish, who calls herself a "certified juice therapist," wore a shirt that says "vaccines are poison." take it from me, a certified juice therapist. where do you get certified for juice? [ laughter ] right. i have a master's degree from the university of jamba. [ laughter ] it's so nuts. imagine if you have, let's say your testicles inflate to the size of a volleyball. it happens. mostly to men. and now, you need to see somebody about it. who do you go to? a urologist? or yogachick95? your wellness consultant. here's a good rule of thumb. never take medical advice from anyone with abs. or from someone who wears natural deodorant. i've smelled how good that stuff works. and guess what?

it doesn't. it doesn't. britney spears is having an eventful month. yesterday, britney announced her engagement to her boyfriend of five years, personal trainer slash actor sam asghari. i hope they get a prenup. i'd hate to see them get divorced and have to divvy up the snake. right? and of course, britney's impending nuptials gave our nation's newscasters a chance to showcase their creative writing skills. >> the orchard will have plenty to pick in the patch in the months to come. >> all right. oops, she did it again. britney spears had a big weekend. >> oops, she did it again. britney spears just got engaged. >> oops, she did it again. britney spears is engaged. >> oops, she did it again. >> oops, she did it again. >> oops, she did it again. >> oops, she did it again. >> oops, she did it again. >> oops, she did it again. ♪ oops, she did it again ♪ >> long-range cruise missiles

test-fired by north korea causing concern amongst neighboring countries. we'll get you live to seoul for >> is it just me or does that work for anything that's happening with britney spears? >> it kind of does. >> jimmy: it's just you, i think. i don't know. you know, marriage isn't easy. britney knows that. and i know that too. one of the biggest ongoing conflicts i have with my wife is about my stuff. she doesn't like mine. she likes hers. she wants me to get rid of all of all my stuff. so much so that we turned that into a recurring nightmare here on the show. molly my wife is out on the street. and we're about to play a game -- oh, boy. oh, hey, that's my hat. molly, remind us of what the name of this game is. >> it's called "win jimmy's crap." >> jimmy: that's right. "win jimmy's crap." [ applause ] you want to explain how it works or should i? >> i can explain. i basically went through a bunch of your stuff that i hate, and tonight i'm going to give it away. >> jimmy: all right. i don't know which of my

belongings molly has stolen from my house, but i'm about to find out, i guess. let's meet our first contestant, shall we? >> hi, what's your name? >> tony. >> tony. how are you doing? where are you from? >> i'm from memphis. i'm doing amazing. how are you? >> i'm great. i'm about to get a lot better. >> let's do it. >> jimmy: which of my belongings is tony competing for today, molly? >> he is going to compete for this, whatever this is. i believe it's a hat you wear from the ted cruz cancun collection. >> jimmy: no. >> and jimmy, tell the viewers at home what this is. >> jimmy: that is -- [ laughter ] that's a necklace thing i wear to the airport. wen i go, i keep all my passports and stuff in it. >> yeah you do. >> jimmy: and molly makes fun of me even though she's lost her passport like 11 times without me. >> i'd rather lose my passport. this says i'm an american. please mug me. >> jimmy: okay. all right. ask the question of tony, will you? tony's getting bored. >> tony, you can do this.

your first question is what website and multinational tech company founded in 1998 lets you google things? >> google? >> yes! i'm sorry, tony, you have to take this home. >> i like it. >> jimmy: i think those look good on tony. congratulation, tony. all right. and that's the end of the game, right? >> no, it's not. >> jimmy: all right. >> just getting started. >> jimmy: i see. it's right on your shirt. dawn. hi, dawn. >> hi. >> hi, dawn. where are you from? >> i am from michigan. >> all right. well, dawn, i'm sorry to tell you you're going to be playing for this. >> jimmy: oh, no! no, no, no. >> jimmy's face on a princess leia doll. >> jimmy: wait a minute. i think i got that from somebody like important or something. >> well, i'm about to give it to dawn. all right? dawn, here is your question. what's your favorite color? >> my favorite color? >> any color. >> blue.

>> blue! perfect. jimmy: that's n a trivia ts. coralations. ta i >> jimmy: congratulation, dawn. all right. that's it, right? that's good. that's enough. >> hi, what's your name? >> mike. >> mike. nice to meet you. >> nice to meet you. >> are you ready to win some crap? >> oh, sure. >> jimmy: no, no. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now wait a minute, those are collectibles. post malone gave me those crocs. >> i would honestly rather you have post malone's face tattoos than his shoes. and jimmy, when you get a number one single, maybe you can wear these. >> jimmy: mike, what shoe size are you? >> hopefully i can fill these shoes here. >> you can. you will. here is your question. name a tom. >> tom sawyer? >> yes! there you go. >> jimmy: fictional. >> jimmy, you can buy these on ebay if you like. >> no. thank you, tom. >> jimmy: are we done yet?

>> we're not done yet. we have this. come on. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that guy has been sitting on our bar since the beginning of the show. >> yeah, well, he is about to go home with allen, if allen can answer this question. >> jimmy: i think the beer mug broke off. he used to have a little plastic mug in his hand. now it looks like a fun. >> he doesn't look happy. he looks clinically depressed. >> jimmy: no, it says he is happy right there on the thing. >> he's not. here we go. which united states president is the only one who holds a patent for an invention? allen, take a minute, think about this. the only u.s. president. >> jimmy: president elmo? >> abraham lincoln. >> abraham lincoln it is! congratulations. you can have jimmy's clarinet. that's my clarinet. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: oh, come on, now. now we've gotten into the not funny category.

all right. >> i'm happy, jimmy. i don't know about you. but i'm happy. >> jimmy: i'm going give away our bed too. we're going to be sleeping on the floor. all right. well, thank you. there you go. that was "win jimmy's crap." congratulations. we'll get lincoln to get my clarinet back. we have a good show tonight. dave burd, lil dicky is here with us tonight. we have music from bazzi. and we'll be right back with jennifer aniston. so stick around. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by consumer cellular.

find your rhythm. your happy place. find your breaking point. then break it. every emergen-c gives you a potent blend of nutrients so you can emerge your best with emergen-c. get ready - our most popular battery is even more powerful.

the stronger, lasts-longer energizer max. stop! clearing breakouts doesn't have to be harsh on your sensitive skin. new cetaphil gentle clear contains balanced formulas that gently clear breakouts and soothe sensitive skin. cetaphil. complete acne care for sensitive skin. now in the acne aisle. ♪ music playing. ♪ there's an america we build ♪ ♪ and one we explore one that's been paved and one that's forever wild but freedom means you don't have to choose just one adventure ♪ ♪ you get both. introducing the all-new 3-row jeep grand cherokee l jeep. there's only one. we're for those who love to discover. who know an open mind... is the only kind.

who are their own personal stylist. who know where to escape, even just for a moment. who don't need a fortune to find a gem. and who know when you spend less, you can discover even more. and never, ever stop discovering. spend less. discover more. at t.j. maxx. ♪ is someone trying to steal your butterfinger? call the bfi. ♪ no one lays a finger on your butterfinger.

[pop top can opening] no one la♪s a finger ahh! you fired up the grill for one hot dog?! seriously?! hot dogs: better with pepsi. ahh! ♪ >> jimmy: hi.

welcome back. tonight from the very funny show "dave," dave burd, aka lil dicky is here. and later, his song is called "i like that." music from bazzi. [ cheers and applause ] this week, we've got new shows with magic johnson. bill maher. curtis "50 cent" jackson. and music from the marias, carly pearce, and james blake. and whether you are a baseball fan or not, tomorrow night, i highly recommend that you watch parts one and two of the new "30 for 30" espn documentary about the '86 new york mets. it's called "once upon a time in queens." it is a four-part series. watch episodes one and two starting at 8 p.m. tomorrow. and parts three and four are on wednesday night. it's directed by nick davis. my cousin sal and i are executive producers. this was a fun project. this is a crazy story of a group of just unbelievably out-of-control individuals. the unbleeped version is on espn. and you can watch the clean one on espn2 if you have your children, or if you don't care about your children's future, watch it unbleeped with them.

live a little. that's tomorrow night. and then on espn plus. there you go. [ applause ] our first guest is a national treasure. she is beloved by zillions now and forever. she is an emmy winner whom you can see back in the anchor seat alongside reese witherspoon in "the morning show." season two premieres friday on appletv plus, please welcome jennifer aniston. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? nice. i see you brought a little something along. >> well, i did. hi, guys. hi, everybody. i did. well, i brought -- well, i now

feel like a real jerk because i brought a gift. >> jimmy: thank you. >> because this is a throwback to the last time i did your show, which was the beginning of the quarantine, and i was, you know, i was doing paint by numbers and ordered my first round of paint by numbers. and unfortunately, i got an actual painting. and you loved the painting. and here is the painting. so it was a frog. it was a frog that was basically, you know -- >> jimmy: playing golf. >> playing golf. and i wanted to paint this by numbers but in fact i don't know what i clicked but i got a full-on painting. >> jimmy: it came prepainted. >> it's been sitting in my closet every since, and i just found it cleaning out my stuff, like you were just doing. >> jimmy: you put this in your closet -- a beautiful gift. >> molly, i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: no! no! molly! [ applause ]

marie kondo is living in my house. >> i knew it. i knew i was going to piss her off the most. i almost threw it in the trash can back there, and i didn't. >> jimmy: i wanted that, by the way. >> you did? >> jimmy: why wouldn't i want something that beautiful? >> it'cogh jmy: of ur a gif you now! >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> what's your name? >> bridget. >> where are you from? >> i am from new jersey. >> hi, bridget from new jersey. you can own this painting that jennifer aniston accidentally ordered on the internet and it can be in your home. >> amazing. i love it. >> are you ready for your question? >> i am. >> all right. here we go. when is jennifer aniston's birthday? now, if you don't know, which is okay. >> jimmy: if you don't know this -- >> you can call a friend. you just pick up that phone and call a friend and you can have this art. >> i don't know. [ ringing ]

>> oh, i get it. >> jimmy: oh, i see. wow, how about that? >> hello? oh, my gosh. >> hi! >> hi. february 11th. >> february 11th. >> 1980! >> perfect. there you go! later, guys! [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's ungrateful. >> i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: i'm sure you have something else. >> i can find it again on the internet. i bet i could. >> jimmy: by the way, speaking of your birthday, i don't know if you know it, but there are a couple lunatics here who have your -- >> i saw that. hi, guys! wait, do you have a tattoo? >> jimmy: tattooed your birthday on -- >> oh! oh, wow. so you will never forget. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they don't even know each other. they met in line. and they realized that they each have a tattoo, a tribute to you on their bodies. >> i'm -- i'm flattered. >> jimmy: are you, though? are you?

>> well, i mean, how old are you guys? >> i'm 20. >> i'm 24. >> well, they have laser removal, tattoo removal. [ laughter ] in case you have a oh, a regret moment, which some people do. >> never. >> never? >> no. >> i love you. thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: they told me during a commercial break. i don't know if you could hear it backstage, but they said if jennifer aniston had covid and you had the opportunity to hug her and kiss her, knowing full well she had covid, would you do it? they said without hesitation, yeah. don't touch them, though. because they've been out in -- >> oh, that's so sweet. >> jimmy: that's love, mania or something. i don't know what it is. >> it's probably all of the above. >> jimmy: this is probably why you can't leave the house. >> and i don't. >> jimmy: are you feeling nervous? you've been in the house a lot. >> yeah. i have. i've been in the house a lot. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i've rearranged the furniture.

i've done so -- i went from the set, from sony studios to shoot "morning show." back to my house. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. so i would literally go from -- it was like a star, the points that i would go to. i'd go to work. i'd go to courteney's. i've been to you guys, to the batemans, and then back home. so it was kind of like we had this little bubble of friends. thank god i love all of you so much. but yeah. >> jimmy: it would be weird if you visited people you didn't like. >> oh, it would be awful. it was hard. weird times. >> jimmy: do you mind if i share a personal story about our interaction, something that happened? maybe you can add to it. >> which one? >> jimmy: the weekend before last, do you remember when we were cooking and we were talking about the fact that you were going to be on the show? >> yes. >> jimmy: you said i don't know, what do i have to talk about? what are we going to talk about? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and at the time i'd just grilled some stuff and you were making a salad. >> oh, i know where you're going. i was tossing a salad. and i washed my hands.

it was a huge salad, a big mixing bowl. and you guys had gotten -- you turned me on to this thing called the aura ring. >> jimmy: right, the ring that measures your sleep and stuff like that. >> correct, which is on my finger. and i'm addicted to it. and i was talking about how this is ruining my life because i'm so obsessed with the aura ring and looking at my sleep patterns and how badly i sleep, and it shames me every day. and all of the sudden i look up, and it's gone. and i'm oh, god, jimmy. >> jimmy: you started digging through the salad. >> this was such a big salad, though. and i'm digging and i'm digging and digging. and i can't find it and i can't find it. and i go well, somebody is going to find it eventually. >> jimmy: and then about two seconds later. >> two seconds later, there it is. >> jimmy: right next to the salad. we could have swallowed that. >> i know. >> jimmy: i wanted you to tell that story because when it goes on youtube, we're going to label it "jennifer aniston tosses

jimmy kimmel's salad." [ applause ] >> i think people will go crazy. it's going to be huge. >> jimmy: bigger than the frog painting. >> i don't know what's going to be bigger than that frog painting. >> jimmy: we're going to take a quick break here. when we come back, we'll see a clip from "the morning show" the show you literally risked your life to make for america. jennifer aniston is with us. we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by las vegas, the greatest arena on earth. p's ps (sister) oh my gosh. (farmer) whiskers! there you are! (avo) the subaru crosstrek. the adventurous s-u-v for adventurous people. love. it's what makes subaru, subaru.

the live better u program basically just provides the answer to the question: what if? with live better u, my 'what ifs' were erased. ♪ ♪

kids love visiting kidifornia. but parents like it to, like a lot. they go bonkers. (wuaahh) totally boom it's an adventure. (sound of playing) you know ,you have to keep an eye on them. you got to let them explore and figure things out for themselves. so hurry up (screams) they're not gonna stay this way forever. kick off your kidifornia vacation at visitcalifornia.com

i am your equal, and i am going to go toe to toe with you for all the best stories. >> great. >> and screen time. and i'm not rolling over. i'm going to compete with you. >> do it! that's what you should do. compete. don't roll over. you should never roll over. that's the job. do you think you can just do the job? >> do you hear yourself? >> i hear just fine. >> you're turning it around and making it seem like you're telling me when i said to you. > oh my god. bradley, honestly, a friendship with you sounds like a really bountiful journey. i am sorry i didn't call you. we worked together for one month. we don't owe each other. >> that is jennifer aniston and reese witherspoon. that's a good scene in "the morning show," which -- >> duking it out. >> jimmy: that seems like fun when you read a scene like that. you go like all right, we're going to -- is it exciting when you go like i know now i get to go do this? >> yes. it's always fun to fight with reese because she is so not -- she is such a sweet burst of

sunshine that, you know, she is not someone you want to go scream your head off to. and i usually always end up bursting into laughter at some point. >> jimmy: is that right? >> it's too hard to be that mad with each other. >> jimmy: i guess that's acting? >> that's what we do. >> jimmy: and as you mentioned, you were doing this during the whole deal. >> not easy. >> jimmy: you guys had a lot of -- a lot of precautions in place. >> we did. we ensured that everybody was completely safe, which was the most important thing. >> jimmy: because apple is probably like if we killed jennifer aniston and reese witherspoon. we'll neff sell another iphone. we're doomed. that would be really bad. >> that would be bad. and they're smart enough to know that. they just googled that. >> jimmy: they're very bright. you are nominated for an emmy on sunday. [ applause ] are you going to the emmys? >> the reunion show. yes. no, i will not be going.

>> jimmy: someone will go to accept on your behalf? >> i think ben winston, our producer and director, incredible, who put the whole thing together, but i still -- i'm still -- this is a big step for me to just be here. >> jimmy: no, it is. i appreciate it. >> baby steps. >> jimmy: and i want to make the most of our time. >> okay, jimmy. >> jimmy: first of all, i feel like did i help with this at all, your new hair care products? >> yes, you did. >> jimmy: you had to smell different hair care products. >> yeah, i did. that was one night when i had us all doing the smell test. so there was a bunch of little jars of different scents, and we had to go to the sink and suds them up so we could get the smell. you and moll, everyone sort of -- oh, yeah. there you go. not the face, not the face. >> how luxurious i am. it's a detangler. >> and that's a rat's nest up there. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. there is a lot of glue and electrical tape in there. there is all sorts of things.

>> but that is you were definitely i think you made it very clear to me how responsible you were for that. you actually started to give me a hard time and threaten me a little bit. wait. okay, here it is. did you see this? >> jimmy: i have a dry shampoo that's pretty popular right now. here, i'll hold it up. it's my dry shampoo. i haven't announced it yet, but this seems as good a time as any. jimmy kimmel's number one dry shampoo. you can see it's number one already. >> it was already number one. >> jimmy: will you be selling a dry shampoo? >> i also think -- anything is possible. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm not announcing everything just yet. no. >> jimmy: sorry. le la vie is the name of your product. >> it's the name of my first car. it's not that fancy. >> jimmy: is it really the name of your first car? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, wow. how about that. >> not vie. >> jimmy: have you seen on the internet they'll ask celebrities the most searched google questions? >> yes.

>> jimmy: we have some of the least searched google questions about you, jennifer aniston. >> the least? >> jimmy: these are the least searched. these got very few responses. but would you mind answering some of them. >> no. >> jimmy: i know you haven't seen these. has jennifer aniston ever been to the olive garden? >> of course. >> jimmy: you have? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. when it comes to men, what is jennifer aniston's perfect amount of chest hair? [ laughter ] >> not a lot. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> meaning not too much and not nothing. >> jimmy: a sprinkling. >> a sprinkling, yes. a peppering. >> jimmy: if jennifer aniston could make one of her body parts detachable, which one would it be? [ laughter ] >> my hair. >> jimmy: your hair, well, sure. >> yes.

>> jimmy: people love that. like a lego. >> that would make my life so easy. >> jimmy: does jennifer aniston like to vacuum? >> loves to vacuum. >> jimmy: has jennifer aniston ever made carrot top? >> yes. >> jimmy: wow. >> that's so odd. >> jimmy: is jen aniston really just three kids in a trench coat? >> what? what does that even mean? >> jimmy: i have no idea. i guess they stack kids up and pretend to be an adult. >> no, no. >> jimmy: what does jennifer aniston have against the swedes? anything? >> nothing. >> jimmy: finally, and this might be my favorite, jennifer aniston still married to lester holt? [ laughter ] >> that's not real. >> jimmy: that's a real question. >> that's a real question? >> jimmy: i guess so. i don't know. your guess is as good as mine. >> i'm going to go google that. >> jimmy: lester just jumped out of bed is what happened. >> what? >> jimmy: thank you for being here. it's always a pleasure. jennifer aniston, "the morning show" season 2 starts friday on appletv. plus, we'll be back with dave burd.

♪ [ "colors" by black pumas ] come in for lemonade. ♪ ♪ leave supporting entrepreneurs... like me. what we value most, shouldn't cost more. like many people with moderate to severe ulcerative colitis or crohn's disease, i was there. be right back. but my symptoms were keeping me from where i needed to be.

so i talked to my doctor and learned humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for people with uc or crohn's disease. and humira helps people achieve remission that can last, so you can experience few or no symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. be there for you and them. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible.

i can make an indoorsy person, outdoorsy. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. i can turn anyone into a beach bum. i make memories for people i don't even know yet. i am a vrbo host. ♪ ♪

(becky vo) okay b, happy place... where's my happy place... ♪brushed my hair, went downstairs♪ ♪favorite jeans on my rear♪ ♪and i looked up in my mirror♪ (group member 1) wow! we gotta give it a spin... (group member 2) this is the best thing ever invented. chili sauce on ice cream. just try it... becky trust me it's fire. ♪i got an attitude♪ (becky) woooo! ahhh! ♪so what i got a attitude♪ ♪what, what, what♪ [ "the addams family" theme playing ] ♪ they're nice but irritating ♪ ♪ their excitement can get grating ♪ ♪ they're dressed for pastry baking ♪ ♪ the progressive family ♪ ♪ they're helpful but annoying ♪ ♪ they always leave us snoring ♪ ♪ accidents are boring with the progressive family ♪ so... when do you all go home? never! we're here for you 24/7. how terrifying. protection so good it's scary. "the addams family 2" playing october 1st.

>> jimmy: oh, hi. dave burd and music from bazzi are coming up. but first, my hometown las vegas is the ultimate sports town with so many unique venues and ways to experience games. to prove that, we sent the ultimate sports fan, my cousin sal to show us why vegas is the greatest arena on earth. ♪

>> well, i reserved us a daybed at stadium swim. it's got a 40-foot tv. it's like god's living room. got to go. game time. hut! go defense! touchdown! woo-hoo! >> i will have a caesar salad and a water. [ whistle ] >> what are you thinking, sal? this is beer park, the home of . you're making rookie mistakes, pal! we're going with the beer flight and the barbecued pork ribs. they're dry rubbed and beechwood smoked. beechwood smoked, son! now drop and give me 20, mister! >> yes, coach! >> do it, sal, come on! >> give me an s! >> give me an a! >> give me an l! >> what's that spell? >> wait, i know this. >> go, sal, go! >> what are you doing? >> why are you shouting? >> because you should be in there having the time of your life. come on! >> okay, hold this. >> plan your trip to las vegas,

the greatest arena on earth. go to visitlasvegas.com. where you can pay a little less and enjoy the ride a little more. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ now, get new lower auto rates with allstate. because better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today.

the live better u program basically just provides the answer to the question: what if? with live better u, my 'what ifs' were erased. ♪ ♪ stop! clearing breakouts doesn't have to be harsh on your sensitive skin. new cetaphil gentle clear contains balanced formulas that gently clear breakouts and soothe sensitive skin. cetaphil. complete acne care for sensitive skin. now in the acne aisle. everyone's crunching! what's crunching? simply unwrap crunch and eat crunch. 100% milk chocolate and crispy rice. crunching makes me extreme. crunching made our breakup easy! i'm in the friendzone! anyone can do it, even anyone. ♪goooooo♪ ♪go, go, go, go, go, go♪ ♪do something crazy!♪ ♪hey, do what you want to do♪ ♪woooh!♪

♪hey, do something crazy!♪ ♪do something crazy do something wild♪ ♪be someone different♪ ♪switch up the style♪ feel the spark again in our powerful hybrids. toyota. let's go places.

[ "colors" by black pumas ] feel the spark again come in for korean tacos. [ indistinct chatter ] leave with the best of both worlds. what we value most, shouldn't cost more.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. welcome back to the show. music from bazzi is on the way. our next guest is a gifted and celebrated rapper and actor who stars in his own tv show about a version of himself. it's called "dave." season 2 is on fx on hulu now. please say hello to the artist known as lil dicky, dave burd. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how you doing? >> good. how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. i heard you could just as well be sitting in the audience with the jennifer aniston tattoo. i heard you're a big fan of her. >> how could you not be? i feel like just the hair alone. >> jimmy: oh, would you like some detangler? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's for you. >> i love free product. i'll put it back here. >> jimmy: did you guys meet or no? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, you didn't meet. >> you didn't facilitate that.

>> jimmy: i'm sorry. i should have. i think now there are shields up with the covid and all that. >> it's hard now for sure. but maybe she'll stick around. maybe she is watching right now. i don't know. >> jimmy: i think she's gone. yeah. yeah. you -- by the way, your show is so funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's such a good show. [ cheering ] not just funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i don't want to say it's just funny but it is really like -- i think you rveal a lot about yourself. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you are maybe even too revealing about yourself. >> perhaps. >> jimmy: was that the plan, that you were going to make it a complex show as far as emotion and that kind of stuff? >> yeah. i feel great content in general is best when it's multidimensional. so i obviously wanted it to be as funny as possible. but the more you care about the inner workings of these characters' brains, the more you're going to laugh at their plights, you know? >> jimmy: after doing so much funny stuff and music and this fun stuff overall, if you have like a scene where you have to

cry or something, does that come naturally to you? >> a scene where i have to cry, no, it does not come -- no, no. i'm not classically trained. >> jimmy: you're not. you didn't go to cry school? >> no. in fact -- >> jimmy: you didn't go to the decry institute? >> no, never. i feel very confident in my ability as an actor. but there was one scene this season where the script called for me to actually cry. it was like an emotional scene with my, you know, tv parents. >> jimmy: right. >> and i'm thinking how -- i have to prepare for this. so i'm sitting in my room thinking how do people cry? how do you even cry on command? and i googled it. and they say think about -- think about trauma. and i live like an incredible life. i had no real memories of sadness to pull from. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. i'm a very lucky guy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but at the same time, the episode and the scene totally relied on -- the show is called "dave." my name is so on the line on this. it's the emotional climax of

borderline the season. so i had to guarantee a way that i could cry. so what i did was i asked my parents to on their iphone film a video of them saying goodbye to me. yeah. not only that, not only that -- this is my plan. i go into that shoot. i need to have a foolproof plan to guarantee tears. >> jimmy: this is a good one. >> so then i get there, and i'm thinking how am i going to see this video? and i literally had a p.a. holding an ipad behind my father the character's like eye line and there's an earpiece in my ear with my mom being like, "dave, i just want you to know" -- and i'm sitting there. and we're also shooting a scene. i realize very quickly how difficult it was to do a scene and have my mother talking to me. and then like the bluetooth didn't work properly.

>> jimmy: the part where you explain this to your parents is interesting to me. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did they right away -- did they agree to it right way? >> well, they're team players. they know. [ applause ] but the bluetooth didn't work. so it all fell apart very quickly technologically. all i heard was my mom saying "hi, dave." and i started welling. just "hi dave" is all i needed to hear. i love you, mom and dad. >> jimmy: maybe by the time they die -- >> i don't want to talk about them dying. change the subject. >> jimmy: well, let's see if you can work on some tears. we have a clip here of a scene from your show, and sometimes you watch a show and you go like oh, that seems like it was unpleasant. and this is a scene that it seems like it was unpleasant for you. >> okay. >> jimmy: you know what i'm going show? >> i think so. >> jimmy: this is a scene where you're on the billboard. >> very unpleasant. incredibly so. yeah. horrible experience.

>> jimmy: let's take a look at this scene. >> i don't know how much longer i can be up here. i should have been the i. >> chuck, you okay? >> i'm not okay. this is horrible. i'm so burnt. the sun is eviscerating me because of the accutane. >> we really should have put your name on the billboard. >> why? you have me. >> penith? it looks like a new apple product, like a new release of something. >> is anybody paying attention at all? >> no. >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how long were you up there? >> honestly, there was scheduled to be a five-hour scene. so i was up there for like five hours. it was horrible. fortunately, like my character in the show had to feel displeasure on the billboard too. it's very easy to get in the zone. >> jimmy: right. >> i wouldn't say i'm not scared

heights, but i'm certainly not a height fan. nor am i a thrill-seeker. it was just kind of like yell. by the way, it hailed. it hailed. it actually hailed. >> jimmy: in los angeles? >> it snowed. hailed. >> jimmy: hail is worse than snow. >> it was hail. it was sharp and i was getting soaked with hail. when it started hailing, i was already so uncomfortable. it started literally hailing, all right, this is the worst experience i can go through. but at least this will be the best footage in the world for the scene. but no, sir. they cut the cameras. they cut them. and i was screaming. keep going. they couldn't even hear me at that point. because it was a electricity scare. >> jimmy: do you ever think -- when you're on there, splayed out, maybe it's jesus having his revenge with the hail? >> it felt -- i'm jewish, but there felt something christian was going on, yeah. >> jimmy: you have a song in the

show in each episode. are you going to record another lil dicky album? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because i know it's been a long time since then. [ cheering ] >> yeah, no, for sure. >> jimmy: you're going to do a whole album? >> whole album. >> jimmy: or piecemeal it out, like people do nowadays. >> i haven't planned the roll out yet jimmy but i think it will be a whole album. honestly, i feel truly hungrier than ever as a rapper. because i feel like it could be very easy to look at me and say well, he was just rapping to get into comedy and then he did that and -- but no, i'm very chip on my shoulder anxious to prove myself as a rapper. >> jimmy: well, i think you already have. >> well, not enough. >> jimmy: i know you're fans will be happy to hear that. >> it's been honestly five plus years since i've put out an album. mostly because honestly the tv show takes so much time. >> jimmy: right. >> and i'm really poor at multitasking. >> jimmy: well, the show is really, really good. it's called "dave." season 2 is on fx on hulu now. dave burd, everybody. we'll be right back with bazzi. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is

presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. you know when you're at ross, ooh! and the fall finds are everything? and those brands at those prices are everywhere? okay, yes! that's yes for less! bring on the fall looks you've been waiting for with the best bargains ever... ...at ross. yes for less! every single day, we're all getting a little bit better. with we're better cooks...r... better neighbors... hi. i've got this until you get back. better parents...

and better friends. no! no! that's why comcast works around the clock constantly improving america's largest gig-speed broadband network. and just doubled the capacity here. how do things look on your end? -perfect! because we're building a better network every single day. ♪ [crunch] ♪ [crunch] ♪ ♪ nachos: better with pepsi. ahh! babe? ooh... oh! ooh! ooh... yeah? oh, yeah! there are many ways to say it... sí. yes. ...but when you find the best bargains ever at ross, you'll say yes for less! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel

live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. aniston and dave burd. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, magic johnson, steve lemmy, and kevin heffernan and music from the marias. "nightline" is next. but first, with the song "i like that," bazzi! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ twisted, baby i'm a goner i'm a monster ♪ ♪ don't listen to a word i say ♪ ♪ 'cause i say things that i don't mean (don't mean) ♪ ♪ when the liquor speak (liquor speak) ♪ ♪ don't wanna break your pretty heart 'cause ♪ ♪ ooh, i love to lay when layin' is next to you ♪ ♪ i feel alive wit' shawty by my side ♪ ♪ let's dance i like that, yeah i like that, yeah ♪ ♪ i like that angel runnin'

fingers through my hair ♪ i like that, yeah i like that, yeah ♪ ♪ i like that way we touchin' got you singin' yeah ♪ ♪ you like that, yeah you like that, yeah you like that oh - oh - oh ♪ ♪ i love to lay when layin' is next to ♪ ♪ one good night is worth a thousand words (a thousand words) ♪ ♪ one good girl is worth a thousand birds (a thousand birds) ♪ ♪ let's travel the world and make a thousand firsts (a thousand firsts) ♪ ♪ the way you moving got me at a loss for words, yeah ♪ ♪ take you out in public you a masterpiece (masterpiece) ♪ ♪ the way you're looking all my exes mad at me (exes mad at me) ♪ ♪ let's open our eyes 'cause there's a lot to see (there's a lot to see) ♪ ♪ i wanna live my life 'cause there's a lot to see (yeah) ♪ ♪ let's go to paris let's get a jet plane ♪ ♪ let's live our own life forget when your friends say ♪ ♪ smoke marijuana ♪

♪ ♪ pull a .45 out shoot it in the rain ♪ ♪ ooh, i love to lay when layin' is next to you ♪ ♪ i feel alive wit' shawty by my side ♪ ♪ let's dance i like that (yeah) i like that (whoa) ♪ ♪ i like that angel runnin' fingers through my hair ♪ ♪ i like that, yeah i like that, yeah (i do) ♪ ♪ i like that way we touchin' got you singin', yeah ♪ ♪ you like that, yeah you like that, yeah yeah - yeah - yeah - yeah ♪ ♪ you like that oh - oh - oh i love to lay when layin' is next to ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, i love to lay when laying is next to ♪ [ cheering and applause ] ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, real estate boom. from montana to new jersey. >> it's crazy. it's absolutely crazy. >> how the pandemic has us all craving wide open spaces. >> broke off those chains and shackles that kind of held them in place. >> but are soaring home prices leaving some buyers locked out? plus, america strong. >> travel nurses are heroes. you rise to the occasion when it matters most. >> heading into the hot zones, leaving family behind. >> can i travel too? >> you get to come and visit. >> the brave women who answer the call. >> i don't believe that we could get through this at all without them. and stepping out in style. the celebrities and