thanks for watching. jimmy kimmel live is next. the guest is bill marr. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bill maher. hannah waddingham. and music from carly pearce. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you. thanks. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us here in sunny southern california, where gavin newsom is still the governor. [ cheers and applause ] yesterday, he won the recall election. i think. did he win?

can you win an election you didn't want to happen? [ laughter ] it's like coming home from work, you say, "good news, honey. the guys at the office dug a hole and pushed me in it, but they decided not to fill it back up with dirt." [ laughter ] you've had that happen, right? we all have. yesterday, gavin newsom didn't not win. he didn't get fired. not even close. he trounced the clown car full of candidates running against him. the cost to our state was about $300 million. which i think is the third-most-expensive dinner at french laundry ever. [ laughter ] the top republican vote getter, radio host larry elder, was surprisingly gracious in defeat. he accepted the results of the election. i forgot what it was like to see a republican do that. [ laughter ] it's like every once in a while you see a chicken fly and you're like, oh, yeah, they're birds. [ laughter ] most of the candidates made a final push yesterday, including america's sweetheart, caitlyn jenner, who seemed to be unaware that she had a better chance of winning another olympic gold medal.

than the governorship. >> today is election day. what do you know. i had my little election -- oh, there it is. i voted today. it is coming to a close. and honestly, for me, it's just like so up in the air what is going to happen. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. was it, though? [ laughter ] i mean, what happened was, caitlyn jenner finished 13th. [ laughter ] if this is "dancing with the stars," she'd have been gone the first week, that's how bad it was. [ laughter ] i guess it's back to waving down teslas in the parking lot at the e! network, begging for another shot. [ laughter ] have you been following this ongoing saga of nicki minaj's cousin's friend's testicles? [ laughter ] last night i mentioned that nikki minaj tweeted, claiming a friend of a cousin got the covid vaccine in trinidad.

and as a result, his scrotum swelled up so much, his fiancee called off the wedding. [ laughter ] i guess they didn't have enough room for them at the head table. this story got a lot of attention. dr. fauci had to weigh in on it. even the minister of health in trinidad and tobago was forced to issue an official statement. >> there is absolutely no reported such side effect or adverse event of testicular swelling in trinidad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's good news, we can visit, i guess. [ laughter ] i have a lot of questions for nicki's cousin's friend. and so i mentioned on the show last night that i would like to get in touch with him. and i guess nicki saw it, because she reached out on twitter. she wrote "he's willing to talk for the right price. i'm his manager. call me, jimmy." [ laughter ] which was exciting. don't have nicky's number, and i do want to get an idea of what kind of money we're talking about. so i wrote back. "does he charge by the pound?" [ laughter and applause ] i've not heard back so far. but with any luck.

hopefully we'll be able to work out a payment of some kind and get a good look at those nuts. right, guillermo? >> guillermo: right, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: speaking of nuts, donald trump -- there's a new tell-all book that paints yet another ugly picture of his time in office. this one is focused on what went down during his final days in the white house. the book says the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, general mark milley, took special steps after january 6th to ensure trump couldn't go rogue and use nuclear weapons to, like, keep himself in office. i'm not sure how that would have worked. general milley was apparently so worried trump might start a war with china he called their top military officer to reassure him that an attack was not happening. trump, of course, had his twitter privileges taken away, so he had no choice but to jump on the phone with his former press secretary, newsmax host sean spicer. >> so first of all, if it is actually true, which is hard to believe, that he would have called china and done these things and was willing to advise

them of an attack or in advance of an attack, that's treason. and i would think -- i've had so many calls today saying that's treason. >> jimmy: calls from scott baio, ted nugent -- [ laughter ] kevin sorbo, they all agree it's treason. trump also patted himself on the back when it comes to afghanistan. once again, pointing to his talks with the leader of the taliban. >> in 18 months, not one american soldier was killed. i had a talk with abdul, who is now the leader. >> jimmy: okay, so this abdul he mentioned, who he keeps mentioning, is the cofounder of taliban. for whatever reason, trump only mainly refers to him by his first name. >> i had very strong talks with the leader, abdul. i had a lot of strong talks. i had a very strong conversation with abdul. i had a talk with abdul. because i dealt with abdul. i dealt with the top guy, abdul. okay, so i told you about abdul.

abdullah ghani caraka. let's call him abdul. i said, nice to speak to you by phone, abdul. and he goes, rrr! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: straight up. when in doubt, go with abdul. one of trump's other buddies, the my pillow guy, mike lindell, is making the rounds again. this time on "the jim bakker show" to sell his conspiracy theories and pillows for kids. >> well, they stoled our country. >> yeah, we got to take it back. >> we're taking it back. >> and they stoled it at lower levels, micro levels, and macro levels. >> yeah, yeah. >> they stole it -- at times going away. you know what i believe? i believe if everybody would order a set of pillows, we could do a million dollars. >> yeah, man, man. >> just pillows. >> it would be a miracle. >> that would be a great start towards victory. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] they do say that's step one, buy a weird deedny-ish kids pillow with jesus on it. [ laughter ]

this weekend, mike had a rally in kentucky. the promoters of the event were expecting 10,000 people, less than 300 actually showed up. mr. mypillow might not have much credibility left even with the maga crowd. which is sad, really. so i thought we'd check in with mike to make sure he's okay. and i believe -- oh, there he is. i think there he is. our pillow pal mike lindell. mike? mike! >> what in the holy -- >> jimmy: can you hear me, mike? >> what in the holy hell, show yourself, you damn demon, where are you? >> jimmy: mike, it's not a demon, it's just me, jimmy. >> ah cripes! jimmy kindle. [ laughter ] not now, i'm just about to finally get to the bottom of who stoled our country! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you doing? >> what the hey does it look like i'm doing? i'm crackin' open this dominion voting machine to extricate the bogus ballots! >> jimmy: wait a minute, that's -- mike, that's not a voting machine. that's a redbox.

>> you're darn tootin'. you're gull-dern tootin' it's a red box. made by the red communist chinese to steal the presidency from our donald j. trump. >> jimmy: no mike, that's a vending machine for movies. >> the heck it is! i know vending machines. but one time? one time, the rotary club sent me to tokyo. we went to the godzilla museum where i got startled by a pok-a-mon and made a squirtle in my gutchies. [ laughter ] i had to buy a new pair out of a vending machine, and can you believe it? the dang thing only had pairs of ladies' underpanties! [ laughter ] i had to walk around with this twine yanked up my tailpipe like a chicken kiev! [ laughter ] i've been wearin' them ever since. look, you can't see any lines through my trousers! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're very flattering. look, mike, i wanted to catch up because it seems like you had a rough summer. >> you heard about that? look, just because those kids at soak city waterpark saw my testes -- let me tell you, the drawstrings came loose! >> jimmy: no, mike, that's not

at all -- i didn't even know about that -- >> well, i don't know what could be worse than a bunch of wet punks callin' you "grampa fat balls" while you're trying to unwind in the lazy river. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a minute. they called you grandpa fat balls? that's not nice at all. >> that's what i told them. >> jimmy: what i was talking about was donald trump, he wasn't reinstated, august 15th you said he'd be reinstated as president and he wasn't. >> that was my mistake. that was my bad. >> jimmy: oh, it was? >> i miscalculated the date because i got my kevin spacey wall calendar upside down. [ laughter ] i had it upside down. >> jimmy: you have a kevin spacey calendar? from 1999? >> look, i didn't become a billionaire by buyin' new calendars every stinkin' year! [ laughter ] oh, look there, on thursday i gotta return that copy of the movie "erin broccoli." [ laughter ] ever seen that movie, "erin broccoli"? >> jimmy: yes, yeah --

>> it's about a lawyer who sues people with her cleavage. got me hard as a redwood, jim. can you gimme a ride to blockbuster? >> jimmy: i'm sorry, something bad happened to blockbuster. listen, i want to talk about the cyber symposium you had. it was nonsensical. you showed no evidence of election fraud. >> that's because it was too dangerous to provide the evidence on account of in the middle of my symposium, dominion sent an assassin to viciously attack me in the lobby of my hotel! >> jimmy: wait, but -- >> like he came right up and said, hey, pillow! >> jimmy: i read that story, the witness told the police it was a prankster who poked you in the armpit while he was taking a selfie -- >> that's a lie. that is fake news! my underarms were almost assassinated and i know who did it too! i know who's behind it. >> jimmy: you do? who did it? >> the ninja turtles. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> you see, i rub pepperoni on

my clothes so stray dogs will keep me warm when i sleep inside the lincoln. my nephew juno pointed out the ninja turtles are addicted to pizza. it makes them get violent and go wild. like a pack of turtles. >> jimmy: so you believe -- right, like a violent pack of turtles. mike, that's super crazy. so are you saying trump will still be reinstated? >> sure as shootin' i am! yes. i tell you right now, sure as shottin' i am. it's happening in late december. it's -- it's at the stroke of midnight, a new year's rockin' eve, mark my calendar. right when the y2k bug makes all the dominion machines explode, dick clark will swear him in on the crystal ball. >> jimmy: what? >> that's what's going to happen, jim. we're not going to let you keep stealing these elections like gruesome newsom did last night in the california recall, with these darn voting machines right here. >> jimmy: he did no such thing -- >> what the dickens is that? >> jimmy: what is that?

what was that? >> what's this? oh my good gosh, here it is. more proof. that's ironclad proof. "total recall." >> jimmy: oh, no. >> it's worse than i thought! even a former governor -- >> jimmy: that's just the -- seems just like a dvd that fell out of the machine, yeah. >> this time it looks like they're rigging the election from mars. >> jimmy: i don't think they're rigging the election from mars. >> juno! it's the martians! >> jimmy: that's a pencil sharpener, mike. >> burn down the house and get here fast! >> jimmy: okay, mike. mike lindell. get back to work. [ applause ] seems good, i was worried about him. every once in a while it's nice to check in on people and see how they're doing. that's what my wife tells me, anyway. we have a good show for you tonight. from "ted lasso," the show everyone loves -- hannah waddingham is here. [ cheers and applause ] we've got music from carly pearce. and we'll be back with bill maher.

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[pop top can opening] [birds chirping] [munching] [smacking] hon, those ribs ready? nope. ribs: better with pepsi. ahh! ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. tonight, from "ted lasso" on apple tv plus, hannah waddingham is here. [ cheers and applause ] then later this lady has just been nominated for two cma awards. her album "29: written in stone" comes out friday. carly pearce from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] let's see, who's on tomorrow night? tomorrow night, curtis "50 cent" jackson and brett goldsteen will join us with music from james blake.

please join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a 41-time emmy nominee with interesting thoughts on subjects large and small. his show is called "real time with bill maher." watch it fridays on hbo, and you can see him alive and on tour in cities across these united states. please welcome bill maher. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how is it going? >> jimmy. >> jimmy: do you have this -- >> are we still far away here? >> immy: not as far as we were the last time, last time because of covid we were a mile and a half away. >> i was here then? >> jimmy: you were here. >> you gave me pot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe that's why you don't remember being here. >> do you remember that? >> jimmy: i do remember. >> i want to say thank you. >> jimmy: you're welcome. that was a private gift, bill. [ laughter ]

>> oh. well. i would like to exult for a moment in the fact that we can say that. when i was on this network in this time slot, i remember having screaming matches with the network and the centers about, i once wanted to do a sketch called "harry pothead." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you couldn't? >> no, we lost. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. i mean, isn't it great that we can just talk about it now? [ cheers and applause ] it's not taboo. i mean, do you remember traveling with it? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] yes, i do. >> i don't know what you -- i mean, people think i'm a big pothead. they're fairly right. [ laughter ] no, i'm not that big. i mean, i don't smoke every day. >> jimmy: you don't, okay. >> like you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i don't. >> you don't? >> jimmy: that's not true, that's not true. >> i didn't need a lot. i needed a little. i used to take this much pot, just a bud. that's all i needed for a weekend. i would smoke it through this

it was just -- looked like half of a cigarette. metal pipe. that's -- with a paper clip i straightened out to clean it. i would take a new one so there was no resin. the paranoia level. i would take the bud, i would put it in kleenex and ball it up, put it behind my nuts. [ laughter ] you didn't? [ laughter ] and i was so paranoid. i thought, if they found it -- i was going to say, it's not! then if they busted me i was going to say, it's kleenex! it's snot! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you had this worked out. >> it doesn't even make sense. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it doesn't make any sense. >> it's just where my mind was at, because that's where we were with pot. now we can just say," thank you for the pot, jimmy." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're welcome. i figured you'd like a good gift. >> like you brought wine to dinner. >> jimmy: can we go back to the decision? why would you take a metal pipe when you knew you were going

through a metal detector? [ laughter ] >> well, you know what? i also had an answer for that. >> jimmy: you did? >> i brought a sewing kit and claimed i needed it as a them bell. anyway, it was so small it wouldn't even set off the detecter. >> is that right? you can get them that small? i didn't know that. >> it was back then, i don't know what -- now you can go to the pot store. >> jimmy: you go to the store and it amazes me. when i'm in the store. i'm like, wow, we're in a store where they sell it. and everybody in the store is totally high, by the way. [ laughter ] which is weird. because it was a pot store, i - wouldn't necessarily want my employees to all be high. >> you go to the pot store? >> jimmy: i do, yeah. >> i do? >> jimmy: well, to buy you gifts. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> but don't people give you pot

all the time? i haven't bought pot since 1989. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they do, they do. people do give to it me. >> me too. it's the best thing about being famous. [ laughter ] free pot! >> jimmy: it is funny, the lengths we will go to, to make sure we have a mask on and be clean and all these things. >> right. >> jimmy: somebody hands you a joint? yeah i'll put that right in my mouth. [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: no problem. you know, yeah, there's something -- you feel like you're safe or something. so you are -- you're on tour now, which is -- >> yes. >> jimmy: how is that going? >> are you going to mention somewhere at some point? >> jimmy: i am going to mention where, i have a list of places. >> okay, great. >> jimmy: the places are -- you're going to be at the san jose civic center. >> thank you. >> jimmy: on the 26th. >> okay. >> jimmy: you're going to be in pittsburgh. >> pittsburgh, thank you. >> jimmy: on november 13th. you'll be in madison square garden. >> new york. [ cheers and applause ] the reason why this is relevant, i have to cite a survey that was in the "new york times," which is a liberal paper so they weren't looking for this answer.

but they were talking about -- the question was, what do you think the chances are that you would have to go to the hospital if you got covid? and democrats thought that was way higher than republicans. 41% of democrats -- the answer is between 1% and 5%. >> jimmy: okay. >> 40% of democrats thought it was over 50%. another 28% thought it was 20% to 49%. 70% of democrats thought it was way, way, way higher than it really was. liberal media has to take a little responsibility for that. for scaring the [ bleep ] out of people. and the reason why i'm bringing this up is because it's much harder for every touring act to sell tickets in blue states. >> jimmy: oh, interesting. >> they're afraid to go out of the house. >> jimmy: i see. >> whereas in red states, it's all good to go. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> so i just want to say to those people in pittsburgh and new york, i ain't going to give it to you, i promise. it's safe.

we're doing everything we can. there's distancing. there's masking. enjoy. live life. >> jimmy: you did get it. >> embrace life. >> jimmy: you did get it. [ applause ] >> i got it after i was vaccinated. >> after you were vaccinated, right, and you -- >> i had no symptoms. that may be because i was vaccinated. but let's not even get into that. i know you and your boyfriend, howard stern -- [ laughter ] are very powaranoid about this. it's weird that i got it after, but many, many, many people have had the same situation. >> jimmy: yes, i know people have. >> bottom line, if you're vaccinated, you almost never die from it. look, i'm for whatever is getting america back to where i can see the james bond movie in the theater. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one of the things i think is interesting about you, i think we all experience this, but you in particular experience it i think from both sides. where, you know, half of the country is mad at you one week, the other half is mad at you the other week. >> right.

>> jimmy: does that concern you? do you pay attention to it? does it bother you? >> i don't pay attention to it like read twitter. i'm not stupid. you know, i mean -- i gave up, really, tweeting a lot. i mean, sometimes. but, like, why? everything i would want to say on twitter, i can't say on twitter. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'd be killed. i can say good morning. and the first ten responses would be, well, i guess with your white privilege it's a good morning. >> jimmy: there is a bit of that, yeah. >> yeah, there is a bit of that. >> jimmy: when somebody like whoopi goldberg, i guess, had an issue with -- you were talking about the national anthem at these college football games, professional football games. and you -- >> there's no argument there. i said -- first of all, i said maybe we should get rid of the anthem we have. >> jimmy: because it's not inclusive of everyone? >> well, whatever. i just said, we shouldn't have two national anthems. we're one country.

it's not a good idea. we've seen what happens in other countries where you have, you know -- when you separate things out. that's never where america was, that's never where liberalism was. it was being a color-blind society. so a new national anthem? fine. i'll go for that. but not two. because that leads down a road we don't want to go. applause. [ applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: it is a lot of fear in the air in general. you wouldn't want to be caught applauding something that might be controversial. >> i could give a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i wasn't talking about you. but do you think we're ever going to -- there's ever going to be a time where -- do you think it's possible, even that web come together? >> well, that's a great question. and to me, one of the keys to that is to stop talking about it. stop talking politics. when i was a kid, you may remember the same thing, people

didn't talk politics all the time. there was no facebook. you know? facebook should go back to being what it should be, humble brags, cat videos. [ laughter ] finding out who from high school is gay, fat, or dead. [ laughter ] but instead -- instead it's people arguing with some kid you went to third grade with about brett kavanaugh. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> you want to know how to heal america? shut up. shut the hell up. [ applause ] stop talking politics all the time. stop trying to convince people. it's a big country with lots of people who don't think like you, no matter what side you're on, you're not going to convince them, just accept it like you do in a relationship. [ laughter ] no, really. [ applause ] you're married. >> jimmy: no, you're right. >> you're always married. so you must know. you must know the three most important words in a relationship are not "i love

you." they're "let it go." let it go. >> jimmy: bill maher is here with us. we'll be right back with bill after this. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by las vegas, the greatest arena on earth. ♪go, go, go, go, go, go♪ ♪do something crazy!♪ ♪hey, do what you want to do♪ ♪woooh!♪ ♪hey, do something crazy!♪ ♪do something crazy do something wild♪ ♪be someone different♪ ♪switch up the style♪ feel the spark again in our powerful hybrids. toyota. let's go places.

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about me mentioning this but i remember seeing you in college and i was like, that guy is great. >> oh. >> jimmy: i think that people now know you more from the television show than they know you from doing standup because you've been on television so long. >> i've done 12 hbo specials, so they haven't been taking attention. yeah, i love standup. it's more fun than ever now. people have a hunger for the live experience. you know, i mean, you can make people stay at home, you know, hiding was a great medical advancement. [ laughter ] to solve this problem. but there is a hunger to get back out there. and to touch, not literally touch, we don't touch, but i noticed that -- i mean, when the pandemic started, it was interesting. like, we said, even when this is over, let's not go back to shaking hands because that added nothing. i couldn't agree more. i've never been for anyone touching me unless they mean business. [ laughter ] what?

but as soon as it was the all-clear, people just grabbing and touching and hugging. it's like -- and i could live without it. people can't. they want to shake your hand. they want to hug you. and -- okay, i don't care. i'm never afraid of it, i'm good with that. but it's interesting, the human element. it will never go away, and i'm glad. >> jimmy: i'm glad too. i love being at a restaurant, you know? i don't know what it is. i know i can get that food in my house. >> the restaurant so is stupid now. because you have to wear a mask when you walk in. then you sit. you take it off. when you go to the bathroom, you have to put it back on, because the virus would never attack you when you're seated. [ laughter ] it's a virus, not a monster. it's like, please. he's with people. [ laughter ] it's ridiculous. >> jimmy: yeah, you're right. >> so much of this hygiene theater "even washing your hands.

>> never was, and being outside. >> jimmy: sorry about shaking yours, yeah. >> being outside is fine. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, that was -- they never found out that -- i see young, healthy millennials with masks outside walking alone. i'm like, play the odds, buddy. [ laughter ] you've got the good, young immune system, you're outside. >> jimmy: the thing we're all terrified of is the airplane. as far as i know they've not traced any kind of flight attendants, don't seem to have a higher rate of covid. >> right, how is that possible? i guess this is less safe than herding people into a thin metal tube with all the recycled coughs and farts? [ laughter ] involuntarily spooning the guy in 32b? [ laughter ] there's a lot they don't know. >> jimmy: not involuntary for me, i'll tell you that. [ laughter ] norm macdonald died yesterday. did you know norm well? >> well, not well. no one knew him well. >> jimmy: no one knew him well. i worked with him, i spent a

great deal of time with him, i feel like i never knew him at all. >> huge fan. a guy who was not afraid to be too subtle for most people. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> that's ballsy. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> you know, he did the jokes he wanted to do. i love that. i also loved that i found out that he died after he died. because to me, show business, we're here for you. you're not here for us. now, i'm not judging anybody. but there are people who, you know, whatever they're going through, they share it with the audience. sometimes the audience loves that. i've never been in that camp. i'm not here to burden you, i'm here to lighten your burden. so the fact that norm, i didn't know about this, nobody knew about this? good one, norm. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he kept it to himself, he kept to himself, because he's in show business. he's here to make you happy. >> jimmy: or he just didn't want to get the calls. imagine all those calls. the oh, mr. god, the this, the

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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. music from carly pearce is on the way. our next guest is nominated for an emmy this weekend, and she's responsible for a sharp increase in global biscuit sales. she is part of the 20-time nominated "ted lasso." >> i've been asked to come in and tell you to lower your voices. >> the vicar looked like he wanted to swear, is everything all right? >> yes, of course. trying to figure out who rebecca's shagging. >> oh, i know. and it's good. >> mother! >> hang on, hang on, okay. let's play 20 questions. >> yes! >> all right. this is thrilling. >> is he tall? >> yes. >> adam? >> how the [ bleep ] did you

know that? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watch new episodes of "ted lasso" fridays on apple tv plus. please welcome hannah waddingham. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] it's very good to have you here. >> it is bloody lovely to meet you. >> jimmy: and the show so is great, and congratulations on your nomination. [ cheers and applause ] >> crazy. >> jimmy: are you going to the show on sunday? >> hell yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are. >> oh my god. i'm going to try to make sure i'm not drunk by the time i get there. [ laughter ] happy times for a little girl from south london. >> jimmy: you have to be careful, there's a good chance you win -- >> la la la! >> jimmy: if you do, i'm saying you're going to give a speech,

you don't necessarily want to be hammered. >> yeah, good luck, studio. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you prepared your thoughts? >> no. >> jimmy: not at all? >> no, i think that's danger path. >> jimmy: oh. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: what if you forget somebody? >> well, they're just going to have to deal with it. >> jimmy: okay. >> i think there's seven glorious women, and i think whoever's name they call out, i'm going to be, whoop whoop whoop! they're all f'ing brilliant. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. i don't believe that for a second, but i'll take -- >> it's so true. [ laughter ] it's so true, because i tell you what as well. i don't shy away from it. when you're in the mid-40s and this suddenly comes into your life, i've had a lot of time to wait for it. i'm genuinely really proud of the nomination. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: excellent, excellent, that's good. >> i do mean that. >> jimmy: that's good karma, too. that ups your chances of winning even more. >> who knows. >> jimmy: so i have to tell you something. when i realized -- and i didn't

know this -- that you were also the nun who said "shame, shame" on "game of thrones." [ cheers and applause ] ringing through the street. >> that was my finest, prettiest hour. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did people -- do people typically put that together? do they realize that? >> no. no, they don't. i mean, they are left, right and center now, and thankfully everyone's shocked. [ laughter ] so that's good. but i loved it. it meant that i could sit sleeping in the trailer for hours on end, look like i'd been dug up, and they'd go, "yeah, looks great." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and you and lena headey are friends. >> we are. >> jimmy: had you been friends before the show? >> no, we met on it and fell in love with each other immediately, much like myself and juno on our show. sometimes you meet what we call in england birds. >> jimmy: birds? >> you're just like -- yeah, you're a bird, i'm a bird, that's it, we're in, thunk.

>> jimmy: do you spend time together, hang out? >> yeah, when iwas here in l.a. a few weeks ago for the premiere, then had to shoot over to new york, i went out and met her for some food. we thought we were in a low-key little cafe, sticking our heads together, ruminating about things, what we'd like to do together work-wise and stuff after all this is finished. and it was brilliant. because when. >> a week later this woman who had come up and said, could i get a photo? we thought we'd been inconspicuous. this tweet, so lovely that lena and hannah had a photo with me, i'm so glad you guys have finally come out together. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> like, the world finally knows. i mean, we do really love each other, but you know. >> jimmy: well, that's pretty crazy. you think she really believed >> no, she was just like, i'm so glad everyone finally knows. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, when you lead somebody through the street naked, people jump to

conclusions. [ laughter ] >> bond over that, yeah. >> jimmy: do people give you biscuits now? >> any biscuit is better than the -- >> we got you some biscuits. i know you like the biscuits. >> oh, jimmy. they're beasts. >> jimmy: they're big biscuits, we don't mess around. >> can i have a little taste? >> jimmy: you can have the whole box, let me know what you think. >> just immediately better. >> jimmy: better that than the ones -- >> the ones from season 2, because i have complained about them, they've added a lot of butter, a lot of sugar, and that's always going to make things better. >> jimmy: are they baking those specifically for you, for the show? or buying it from a place? >> no, no, that was the problem. it was my own fault. season 1, i -- don't you take my biscuits. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i want to make sure -- >> season 1 i was meant to be eating the biscuit, there's a whole thing -- spoiler alert -- ted's making them.

but they didn't expect me to go at them like a truffle hound. because i decided rebecca should be an emotional eater. so i'd be like, argh! then they're like, do you want a spit bucket? i'm like, no, that's very inelegant. [ laughter ] i constantly went with them, so it's not their fault. i did audience it as quite a thing. >> jimmy: it would be great if by season 5 you ballooned to 3 from you pounds, "these biscuits are really, really good!" does jason sudeikis fit in with -- i know you shoot in london -- does he fit in as an american with the rest of the gang? >> oh my god, totally, yeah. him and brendan hunt, they've become these kind of anglophiles. >> jimmy: they have? >> yeah, yeah, absolutely. yeah, i mean, i suppose you've just got to embrace it. and we are a nauseatingly happy bunch. >> jimmy: well, it makes sense. although it would be -- i guess probably people would think it was more interesting if the show about this nice guy and this group of people who are really

coming together really hated each other. >> that he was a real ass. [ laughter ] no, i would happily be stuck in a lift with any of them. i would. i would, and that's so nice. and as you get older, the most important thing, i suppose that's what comes through the screen, is the fact that we dig the living [ bleep ] out of each other. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it does comethrough the screen. okay, so you got the emmys. are you going to go to a party afterwards? >> we are going to all of the parties. >> jimmy: going to all of the parties. >> of course. >> jimmy: are there parties? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can i tell you something? funny you say that, because -- i'm not bringing this up -- don't give me the applause, because we're nominated for an emmy as well, and i will tell you i've not been invited to a single party. [ laughter ] >> oh, awkward. >> jimmy: i hosted [ bleep ] last year, nobody invited me to any parties. >> i think they didn't say something.

>> jimmy: by not saying anything, they're saying something for sure. have fun at the parties. [ laughter ] >> i will. i'll call you. >> jimmy: i wouldn't go to the parties anyway. >> you wouldn't go anyway. >> jimmy: i don't need people sneezing on me. congratulation on this the success of the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i have a feeling you guys are going to have like a -- >> la la la! >> jimmy: you know what, the canadians did it last year, maybe the brits will do it this year. >> oh my god, that would just be dreamy. i have to say that the most important thing for me, as much as i love all of this, i feel rebecca welton rippling through my bloodstream, and i can't wait to start shooting the next part of her story. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're all looking f forward to it. new episodes of "ted lasso" air friday on apple tv plus. we'll be back with music from carly pearce.

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>> jimmy: this is an albull, it's her album, called "29:written in stone." it comes out friday. here with the song "next girl," carly pearce! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey next girl you don't know me i'm just the one he says went crazy on him ♪ ♪ that's just what he does but once upon a time i was the next girl i've been where you're at ♪ ♪ you overlook a lot when he looks like that he'll charm your mama with that smile ♪ ♪ hide the red flags for a little while i bet you probably met him at a bar ♪ ♪ let him walk you to your car i bet he s falls thisar♪ ♪ yeah i remember that part he knows how to say all the right things ♪ in

inoatap ♪ ♪ hey next girl you think that you know better ♪ ♪ maybe the last girl was just a little bitter and jaded yeah there ain't no doubt ♪ ♪ but if he ever talks about the ex girl she tried like hell ♪ ♪ it was too late to save herself so now she's just trying to help the next girl ♪ ♪ i bet you probably met him at a bar let him walk you to your car ♪ ♪ i bet he said he never falls this hard yeah i remember that part ♪ ♪ he knows how to say all the right things knows how to get you outta that dress ♪ ♪ knows how to make you think you're the best thing but i know what happens next ♪

♪ you're gonna think it's all your fault it's just a switch that he turns off ♪ ♪ he'll make you think it's love but i promise you it's not oh no it's not no ♪ ♪ ♪ i bet you probably met him at a bar let him walk you to your car ♪ ♪ i bet he said he never falls this hard yeah i remember that part ♪ ♪ he knows how to say all the right things knows how to get you outta that dress ♪ ♪ knows how to make you think you're the best thing but i know what happens next girl ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

♪ i see trees of green ♪ ♪ red roses too ♪ ♪ i see them bloom for me and you ♪ (music) ♪ so i think to myself ♪ ♪ oh what a wonderful world ♪ and there you have it- woah. wireless on the most reliable network nationwide. wow. -big deal! ...we get unlimited for just 30 bucks. sweet, i get that too and mine has 5g included. that's cool, but ours save us serious clam-aroonies. relax people, my wireless is crushing it.

that's because you all have xfinity mobile with your internet. it's wireless so good, it keeps one upping itself. >> jimmy: i want to thank bill maher, hannah waddingham, carly pearce, and james adomian. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, curtis "50 cent" jackson and brett goldsteen, with music from james blake. "nightline" is next. so pop in that mouthguard and settle down.

thanks for watching, goodnight. this is "nightline." >> tonight, the courage of champions. >> how much is a little girl worth? >> the usa gymnasts tell their story of abuse by the team's doctor. >> it was like serving innocent children up to a pedophile on a silver platter. >> and the cost of the fbi's failure. >> it took them 14 months to report anything. >> will anyone be held accountable? plus pure poetry. the young star of the inauguration, amanda gorman. >> a country that is bruised but whole, benevolent but bold, fierce and free. >> speaks of her inspiration. >> did you know that we as a nation, we were in need