tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 12, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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i'm ama daetz. >> we appreciate your time. now on jimmy kimmel, larry david. good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, larry david, david chang, and music from phoebe bridgers. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, thank you. hi, welcome. thank you very much. that's very nice. too much already. [ cheers and applause ] i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. on a day that will -- well, it won't exactly live in infamy. but today is a debatably notable day.
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today is the anniversary of something everyone has used and almost no one knows anything about. today is the anniversary of -- well, not the text messages. today is the anniversary of the typing awareness indicator. [ laughter ] the official name for the three little dots that come up when someone is composing a response to your text. do you like those things? no, nobody does. they're a torture device. like if i text a friend, "we still on for lunch?" i send it. i wait. the dots appear. they start bouncing around. and then half the time, they just go away. with no response. which makes me crazy. [ laughter ] what does that mean? why would they write something and then not send it? are they checking in with someone they'd rather have lunch with before getting back to me? [ laughter ] or maybe they died. you know? [ laughter ] maybe they were typing and walking, and not paying attention, and got hit by a fed ex truck or something. [ laughter ] their final words were dots.
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i don't like the dots. happy 10-year anniversary, dots, it's time for you to go. [ applause ] guillermo. that was me you just texted. >> guillermo: oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] are we still on for lunch? >> jimmy: yes, but now you're paying for lunch. all right. so let's get rid of the dots. ten years is enough. [ cheers and applause ] the las vegas raiders are looking for a new head coach after their current former head coach, jon gruden, resigned in the wake of multiple offensive emails unearthed by the "new york times" and "wall street journal." these emails contained homophobic, sexist, and racist language, and just a sprinkling of porn, too. [ laughter ] he trashed coaches for signing gay players, used a an anti-gay slur, made racist remarks about the executive director of the players association, criticized the league for trying to reduce
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concussions, sent photos of half-naked cheerleaders to some of the other guys. the emails were so offensive, raiders almost made him offensive coordintor, they were that good. [ laughter and applause ] he of course apologized, never meant to hurt anybody, had he known these emails were going to be published in the up in, he department wouldn't have sent them. [ laughter ] a team whose fans dress like actual demons. [ laughter ] the raider are known for being an unearth docks team but this is the ugliest thing to come out of that organization, since their owner's haircut. [ laughter ] which is saying something. good news, jon gruden's free to lunch with you, guillermo. >> guillermo: i'll pass. >> jimmy: mow concern that, moder moderna, the pharmaceutical company which has come up with so far the most effective vaccine, announced they have no plans to share the recipe for
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that vaccine with anyone, even though much of the world still doesn't have access. moderna claims they're doing this because they don't think other countries and companies will be able to mass produce their vaccine at a high-enough level of quality. but it is also, obviously, is in their financial interest to make and sell it themselves. the covid vaccine is moderna's only product, the only thing the company sells. imagine only making one thing and billions of people want it. that must be how the baha men felt after recording "who let the dogs out." [ laughter ] you know? so on saturday, the "types" reported that moderna has been supplying its shots almost exclusively to wealthy nations, keeping the poorer countries waiting and earning billions of dollars? profit. i'm sure that's just a coincidence, right? "guys! we're doing it alphabetically! america! australia! britain! canada! denmark! it's not our fault the rich countries come first! zambia, zimbabwe, we'll get there eventually. hang in!" it is a shame that companies think about profit in a time like this. when people are dying. but i get it. if they don't make money doing it this time, they might not bother to work on a vaccine next time. so how about this?
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how about we buy the vaccine, that vaccine, from moderna, and we give it to mcdonald's. [ laughter ] think about it. when you want consistency, relentless, laser-focused consistency in a product, where do you go? mcdonald's. no matter where you are, no matter what time, no matter how much homework the 15-year-old behind the counter has to do -- [ laughter ] mcdonald's food is exactly the same. there is not an iota of difference between the mcnuggets in phoenix and the mcnuggets in fiji. [ laughter ] they're the same. 3.75 billion people in the world have been vaccinated. which sounds like a lot until you realize mcdonald's has sold over 99 billion ham bursers, and they keep the vaccines cold in the mcflurry machines too. [ laughter ] maybe mix a few oreos in. think about it. it's really not a bad idea, right? [ laughter ] hand over the recipe, moderna. [ applause ] if you don't, we know a guy who can get it.
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so, texas. the governor of texas, greg abbott -- [ boos ] oh, you don't like him? is doing his best to bring covid back. [ laughter ] abbott signed an executive order yesterday that bans vaccine mandates of any kind in his state. he said "the covid-19 vaccine is safe, effective, and our best defense against the virus, but should remain voluntary and never forced." right. and seatbelts prevent auto fatalities, but feel free to ghost ride the whip. [ laughter ] while governor abbott is selectively determining who can do what with their bodies, texas senator ted cruz is helping to launch an imaginary new crisis. you know how southwest canceled all those flights over the weekend? well, ted cruz and other lawmakers from the gop have been claiming it was the result of a strike by pilots who don't want to get the vaccine. even though there's no proof of that at all. but so many republicans are now running with this, the faa had to weigh in. "none of the information from southwest, its pilots union, or
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the faa, indicates that this weekend's cancellations were related to vaccine mandates." the one time republicans support a labor strike -- [ laughter ] is when no labor is actually striking. [ applause ] i just hope they don't cancel ted's annual trip to cancun. you know? [ applause ] now this is something we should be worried about. a new kind of virus that is spreading across the country, and it's affecting democrats and republicans alike. do your kids have these "pop it" toys? they're like the new fidget spinner. if you have a child under age 9, you know what i'm talking about. there they are. they're like reusable bubble wrap. kids love them so much that schools are banning them. they're banning pop-its. which is, i don't know, they don't make any noise. kids are anxious as it is. they're wearing masks, they're doing homeschool. these are tumultuous times, let the kids pop some rubber bubbles for god's sake. [ applause ] i came up with a way to get around it. listen closely, kids. if your school bans pop-its, ask
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your mom or dad to buy a bunch of them, and turn them into pants. [ laughter and applause ] your teacher can't force you to take off your pants! okay? [ laughter ] how are they, are they comfortable? >> they're itchy and i hate them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't like them? are they fun to push? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah? okay. > and -- but wearing them just sucks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, you might be interested in this. you play with legos? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. so lego yesterday announced -- they have a plan now, they're going to eliminate any trace of gender bias from their products. lego apparently decided to make this move so that tucker carlson would have something to scream about for the next two weeks. [ laughter ] maybe this will finally pop that vein in his forehead.
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lego said they will "ensure that any child, regardless of gender identity, feels they can build anything they like." that's right. [ applause ] no matter how you identify, lego wants you to feel comfortable wasting 47 hours putting together a 75,000-piece millennium falcon you will leave on the floor of the living room for 3 weeks and then throw away. meanwhile, we have an important update concerning dog the bounty hunter and his efforts to be on tv -- i mean, to find that suspected murderer. [ laughter ] >> dog the bounty hunter ending his search for fugitive brian laundrie after he hurt his ankle. "the daily mail" reported dog has returned to his home in colorado, however dog's team said he will continue to hunt from his headquarters here while his ankle heals. >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] so much for the pounty hunter, i guess. maybe he'll find brian in his
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laundry room. i guess we'll have to send in mcgruff the crime dog. president biden is finally getting a little bump in the polls. biden's approval rating was as low as 38%, now it's up to 48% in one poll, and 50% in another. which just goes to show you, we're fickle and approval ratings are dumb. the boost in biden's favorability is thought to be linked to the covid decreasing and the fact that all the pumpkin spice crap put everyone in a better mood. [ laughter ] meanwhile donald judge jeanine trump is reportedly in talks to sell the lease on his hotel in washington, d.c. he is said to be unloading the hotel for $500 million, which after he pays taxes is $500 million. [ laughter ] which is a lot. [ applause ] and because it's so much money, president biden, who's no dummy, is deciding he's getting in on the local hotel action, too. >> hey, looking for a swell place to stay when you visit d.c.? you're always welcome at joe-tel
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6. no frills no malarkey, just clean rooms and little soaps. enjoy an incontinental breakfast at no charge with joe-nuts. it sounds -- oh, they're free. forget those fancy hotels. 18 bucks for a banana smoothie? come on, man. joe-tel 6. we won't leave the light on for you because it's bad for the environment. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, at least somebody cares. we've got a great show for you tonight. chef david chang is here. we've got music from phoebe bridgers. and we'll be back with larry david. so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ earl: - hey barista: - good morning, earl! narrator: - since our beginning, barista: - there he is! narrator: - we've looked to inspire and nurture each other,
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by asking what's possible? what's possible when we connect? office worker: - coffee's here! narrator: - what's possible when we come together. female 1: - kayla? female 2: - oh. is it ok to hug? narrator: - when we open our hearts. female 2: - this is like the best date i've ever been on. narrator: - when we grow together. narrator: - after 50 years, we've learned that possible is just the beginning. ♪ narrator: - ♪fter 50 years, ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh, hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight, he has a new docuseries called, "the next thing you eat." chef david chang is here. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from this album titled "punisher," phoebe bridgers from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, billie eilish and zach galifianakis will join us. and on thursday night, kumail nanjiani and salma hayek, with music from bleachers. so please join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight has been socially distancing himself long before it was mandated by the cdc. [ laughter ] he is an american treasure who gifts us yet again with an 11th season of "curb your enthusiasm." it premieres october 24th on hbo. please welcome larry david!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you, thank you! you're going to be so disappointed. [ laughter ] that's what i do, i disappoint. i disappoint people. you know, there's this -- sometimes i'll do a charity golf thing. >> jimmy: yeah? >> people will -- they'll pay money, like to play golf with me. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> which is such a joke, you know? [ laughter ] they think they're going to be entertained, like four hours, and it's the worst time they've ever had in their life? [ laughter and applause ] by the 3rd hole i look at their face and they go, oh my god, what have i done? [ laughter ] such a waste. >> jimmy: you have haven't disappointed. just by showing up, you have excited us and pleased us. [ cheers and applause ] i will be honest and will say that --
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>> may i slouch? i'm on sloucher. >> jimmy: slouch, go ahead. >> it's not a crime. is it a crime to slouch? people look down on slouchers, i don't know why. >> jimmy: do they? >> you're not allowed to slouch. >> jimmy: i think if i've made something of yourself, you can slouch all you want. >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: you don't? >> i think slouching -- i think slouching is so frowned upon. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, yeah. you walk into a house, you see slouchers, you want to leave immediately. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, it definitely doesn't give you the sense that somebody's real excited that you're there. >> that's true, that's true, yeah. >> jimmy: anyway, i just want to say, i'm surprised when you come. >> uh-huh? i wanted to cancel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you always want to cancel. >> 12:00, i'm flirting with the idea. is it too late? you know? [ laughter ] can i get out of this thing? what am i doing? why do i have to go there? >> jimmy: and in fact, well -- you didn't cancel. we were supposed to have dinner together at my house. >> true. >> jimmy: and i wouldn't say you
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canceled, necessarily. >> yeah, okay. so -- you know. he invited me for dinner. [ laughter ] this guy. i don't really know him that well. [ laughter ] i don't know why you would invite me. because leaving my house requires talking and listening, you know. listening, not my forte. honestly, i could have conversations with people for like a half an hour, and they could be telling me their wife just died, and i won't even know it. [ laughter ] i'm kind of nodding along. i have no idea what they're talking about. [ laughter ] and occasionally i'll >> jimmy: hyou're a giver is wht you are, you're not a taker. >> i show up a at his house, nobody's home. >> jimmy: so i get a text. do we have that? can we put that up on screen? this is really a text.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: your response to me being at a funeral is, holy [ bleep ], ha ha ha. [ laughter and applause ] >> come on, that's really funny. >> jimmy: you're right, exactly. worked out. >> but i thought that you had played a practical joke on me, that it was a prank. [ laughter ] i thought i was getting punk'd, you know? >> jimmy: it would be a dumb joke. >> i thought, i'm never doing that show again, kimmel's done, yeah. >> jimmy: and then when -- the following monday was the actual dinner. then you didn't come to that. [ laughter ] >> i got it up once, you know? couldn't go the second time. >> jimmy: you made the effort, yeah. >> you know what, do me a favor. >> jimmy: yes? >> try it again. >> jimmy: okay. >> try it again. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> because i never have people to my house.
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never. >> jimmy: do you -- >> you're not getting invited to my house. >> jimmy: no, i don't expect to be invited. i will, i would love to try it again. are you forgetful? do you often mess up -- >> i don't write anything down. i think i'm smart enough to retain it in my head. oh, dinner with jimmy on monday, okay. all right, it's in my head, i've noted it in my head. but -- you know. it doesn't work out that way. >> jimmy: right, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> god forbid you forget a doctor's appointment. which happens. >> jimmy: you do that, yeah. >> yeah, they hate it. >> jimmy: they don't like it. >> oh, distribute. oh, oh, the doctor's precious time! is wasted! [ laughter ] oh, oh! the doctor! then you get calls from the doctor's assistant for the next two weeks. >> jimmy: oh, why? >> to remind you. >> jimmy: because they think you're -- >> "the doctor was upset that you didn't show up." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah well, maybe you just write stuff down from now on that's probably the solution.
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>> i should, i should. >> jimmy: last time you were here, i was told a story. >> yeah, by the way, what do you think of this jacket? >> jimmy: i like it. >> you like it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> ask me how i got it. >> jimmy: how'd you get it? >> i xlinlted someone at dinner. i said, "i like that jacket." you know what he did? he sent to it me. a week later. he bought one and sent it to me. >> jimmy: really? >> i think this is a fantastic way to get a wardrobe. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you just keep going out with people, "hey, i like your sweater." you get one in the mail. >> jimmy: really? >> by the way, i love your tie. i love that tie. >> jimmy: well, i'll give you this one on the way out. [ laughter ] on the way in here tonight, last time you were here -- we have these pictures on the walls. as you enter. i heard that you noticed your picture was not on the wall. and so what we did is we took all the other celebrities' pictures down. [ laughter ] we replaced them with only
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photographs of you. [ laughter ] the whole length of the hallway. and then when you came in -- >> this way. >> oh, you put that up just for me because i'm here today? ha ha! what a trick! >> it's like this all the time. >> that's so funny. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i wanted you to feel comfortable. >> i like your style on this show, you know? you really -- you surprise, you've got surprises, it's fun. >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] >> maybe i'll come back in five years. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on monday why don't you? have you been doing standup recently? >> no. not -- not really, no. >> jimmy: why not? >> i don't know why you would
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ask me that, no, i haven't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll tell you why i ask. one night zach galifianakis was here, he got a text, he goes, hey, larry david's doing standup at largo, do you want to go? of course we raced right over there. and you were great. >> oh, please. >> jimmy: you were great. >> i stink. >> jimmy: no -- >> no, i stink. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm not temperamentally suited for it. >> for standup? >> for standup, not temperamentally suited. >> why do you say that? >> if i see people talking, they could be ordering a drink, you know. "hey, what are you doing? hey, hey, come on, what are you -- hey, i'm talking here!" >> jimmy: you think that is an offense? >> you know, when i got up on stage, i couldn't -- i couldn't say hello properly. >> jimmy: to the audience? >> to the audience, yeah. like i -- you know, i couldn't go out and go, "hey! hey there! hey, hey! hey, everybody! how you doing, how you doing? how's it going, how's it going? you having fun, having a good
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time?" i didn't care if they were having a good time. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and i couldn't -- and i had trouble lying in bits. like, i couldn't say -- hike if i was in new york, i couldn't say, "hey, i just got back from l.a." because i didn't just get back from l.a. [ laughter ] it's a lie! i didn't want to lie. if i did just get back from l.a., i could say it that night, "i just got back from l.a." >> jimmy: and that's it? >> no, and one time -- and i've told this story before, but you don't care, right? >> jimmy: no, we don't care, yeah. they weren't here, right? >> one time i was watching another comedian. i didn't care for the audience that much. i didn't like the way they were acting, you know? [ laughter ] and i walked out on stage. i looked them over. i went, "eh, i don't think so." and i left. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: larry david is here. "curb your enthusiasm" comes
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back october 24th. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by canva, the free online platform that empowers everyone in the world to design. each mcdonald's crispy, juicy, tender chicken sandwich comes with juicy pickles. although some may prefer to remove them. we don't understand you. but we respect you. mcdonald's crispy chicken sandwich. ♪ba da ba ba ba♪ alberto and i don't fit into those other family plans.
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i drop off and pick up my kids from school so, i can't work early. or late. and i need to make enough to make it worthwhile. i can only work two days a week. and it can't interfere with my other job. i can do full-time. just not daytime. and i need benefits. good ones. and you know, it would be nice if you paid for my tuition. like all of it. ♪ ♪ ♪
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you never call, you always pick the restaurants -- >> what, are we married? i don't understand, am i dating you? >> you hate people, your wardrobe sucks. >> so what? my wardrobe? you're talking about my wardrobe? look at you. >> i'm one of the best comics that ever lived -- >> you're the worst-dressed person i've seen.
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>> you're comparing this -- >> i can't look at you, i get depressed. when are you going to die? will you please die? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: larry david and richard lewis in "curb your enthusiasm." he's the only person this in the world i could say that line to. >> jimmy: i was going to ask you about that. >> the only person in the world. our friendship is so strong, and it goes back so far, that i could say, he's one of those guys. i could say anything i want to him and vice versa. >> jimmy: he is, to me, one of the all-time greats, richard lew lewis. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: absolutely one of the best. [ cheers and applause ] and would you consider him to be your best trend? >> you know, i have other best friends. [ laughter ] and those other best friends are going to get very insulted. >> okay. >> but he's definitely, definitely -- very, very best
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trendy, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's up in that area? >> yeah, yeah. but i don't want to insult the other best friends. >> jimmy: i know he's been recovering -- >> by the way, that's a dumb question for a host to ask. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if he's your best friend? >> yeah, stupid question. you know i'd get in trouble for that. >> jimmy: i am surprised you even responded to that question. >> you know, you put me on the spot, i'm on national television -- >> jimmy: that's not why i'm surprised. i'm surprised because i would think you would reject the concept of a best friend just in general. just right off the bat. you're full of surprises. you really are. [ laughter ] i would think that would be a juvenile thought for you, and you would not be interested in it. >> yeah, it was a juvenile thought. [ laughter ] for your juvenile thought, yeah, a little old for the best friend. >> jimmy: you shot the show during covid? >> yes, yes.
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>> jimmy: during the covid scare, obviously. >> yeah, about we went the whole season. we shot the whole season. and everybody had masks on. i didn't see one face, other than the actors who were in the scenes with me, i didn't see one person's face all year, the whole year. >> jimmy: wow. >> and then the last day of filming, we were in a backyard somewhere. everybody, the whole crew, was there. everybody was there. and i looked around. i said, "okay." by the way, covid policed people there, if anybody took their mask off. "get that mask on!" i didn't care anymore. it was the last day. i said, "okay." i looked around. "take them off, get these masks off, i'm sick of this! i want to see what you look like." they all took them off. i looked. "okay, put them back on." [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: you were at fashion week in new york. >> oh, geez. >> jimmy: you do a lot of the things i would not have imagined you doing. [ laughter ] this is a photograph that was taken. [ laughter ] you don't seem to be having a great time. [ laughter ] you actually seem to be scared and plugging your ears. >> it was very noisy. >> jimmy: it was noisy? >> yeah. let me explain how i wound up there, okay? >> jimmy: okay, yeah, how did you wind up there? >> my friend -- >> jimmy: best friend? [ laughter ] >> for the purposes of this exchange, yeah. >> jimmy: okay, all right, yeah. >> so his fiancee is a great fashion designer, her name is stott, you know, she has -- she's a wonderful gal. he said to me that my presence would be helpful. [ laughter ]
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"i want you to go, your presence would be helpful." i said, "my presence has never been helpful anywhere." [ laughter ] "wherever i am, it's wrong, you know?" [ laughter ] "everything is better if i'm not there, believe me." like i have to shut the tv off because i'll ruin -- if i'm watching my home team, i know if i leave the room, they'll do better. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> so -- you know, it reminded me, like -- a friend of mine's girlfriend was a waitress at the improv once. and the show is over, it was late. she said, can you walk me to my car? [ laughter ] you want me to walk you -- what's that going to do? [ laughter ] what, am i a deterrent? you know? [ laughter ] what are they going to see? the muggers are going to see a skinny bald guy and go, hey be careful, he's got pepto-bismol on him. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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so i showed up. it was not, you know -- to me, a fashion show, it's not a good -- >> jimmy: yeah, not your kind of place. >> little out of place, you know. like steve bannon at a seder, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] it doesn't really work, you so it was very loud music, that's why i was covering my ears. >> jimmy: well, you're a lot of fun, larry. it's great to see you. i'm so excited that this show is back. >> october 24th. >> jimmy: it's a nice litigation surprise for us. [ cheers and applause ] october 24th. "curb your enthusiasm" returns to hbo. larry david, everybody! be back with david chang. today let's paint with new behr dynasty™... so that you can be proud of your walls. where's your furniture? oh we thought it distracted from the new behr dynasty paint color. let me take your coats. because behr dynasty only takes... one. coat. behr dynasty. go ahead, throw your wine on it. what?
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. music from phoebe bridgers is on the way. our next guest is an author and podcaster and chicken cooker extraordinaire, with a new show that explores the future of food, restaurants, and robots. "the next thing you eat" premieres on hulu october 21st. please welcome chef david chang. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you holding up? a baby at home. >> yes, a little over 2 weeks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. little boy, gus is the boy's name? >> that's right. >> jimmy: i like it, i like it. >> getting some sleep. >> jimmy: how is his older brother, hugo, handling this? >> 90% he's good. it's the 10% now that when he's acting terrible, it's really killing me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you happy just to be out of the house right now? be honest. >> yes. [ laughter ] i think i -- yes. i think i -- yeah. any chance i can get out of the house -- i'm so happy to be with all of you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: running a lot of errands. this is an interesting idea for a show. you're really exploring the future of food. i was glad to find out that we'll even have food in the future. i think that's a good sign. and some of the stuff is really, it seems, very creepy, i think. like some of the food that
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they're growing. >> yes. >> jimmy: meat that they're growing. >> that was my initial reaction as well. because there's -- they call it cultivated meat. but it's lab-grown meat from cells. theoretically, they can make anything. like, any steak, any chicken, salmon, from cells of the real thing. >> jimmy: theoretically, they can. practically, can they do that? >> it's happening, i've tasted it. >> jimmy: what did you have? >> i had chicken, i had salmon. there's a bunch of companies that are working on it. i'll be honest, the chicken was pretty damn good. >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah. the salmon is going to get there. and the best way i can explain it is almost like when you're playing video games or tv in the early '80s, you can see that it's going to get a lot better, and it's already pretty far along. >> jimmy: so right now it's asteroids? >> yes, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and we're going to eventually get to call of duty is what you're saying? >> 100%. >> jimmy: and the chicken
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itself, does it have skin on it? just the breast of the chicken? >> they can just grow the breast meat. they can grow chicken without the bones, the blood, none of it. >> jimmy: do real chickens know about this? [ laughter ] if so, what is their take any wonder. i would rather never be raised? or i'll be raised to be eaten? t's a real dilemma for these birds. >> yeah, no, serious. these are funny questions that are actually pretty serious if you start to think about it. that's one of the reasons why we wanted to do this show. it's not like we know exactly what's going to happen, but we can start asking these questions about what it means to be better prepared for what's around the corner. >> jimmy: if you were a vegan and you were to eat some of this, whatever you call it -- >> cultivated meat. >> jimmy: cultivated meat. are you still a vegan? >> that's what i'm asking, right? [ laughter ] like, what happens? if there's no -- no animal died. there was nothing. it's just like jell-o, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: i watched trailer. one of the scientists you were talking to said that they could
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even recreate dinosaur meat. >> i know. and that -- that was a real head scratcher. but it is sort of this "jurassic park" kind of technology. listen, i'm not the person to be explaining this to you, but it's happening. and i was really suspect until i tasted it. and i'm here to tell you, i think it's inevitability. i think we're all going to be -- >> jimmy: eating brontosaurus burgers like the flintstones? [ laughter ] >> 100%. >> jimmy: people talk about the jetsons, they don't realize we're going to the flintstones with this. that's so crazy. we could eat a t-rex someday. >> i think so, yes. >> jimmy: a chain of kentucky fried t-rex. >> trademark that right now. >> jimmy: we're doing this for reasons of health of the planet, scarcity, i guess, supplies? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and it's probably good that we're doing this weird stuff. is it good that we have now robots in our kitchens?
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these automated kitchen situations? >> that's the real dilemma for me. because i'm super excited about the propect of having, you know, consistent work. but also, like, what does it mean? like, if my dad came to this country in 1963 and there were robots, he probably wouldn't be here today. >> jimmy: he'd be killed by robots? [ laughter ] >> we got to figure out -- we're going to have our automation. just like in the automotive business and any kind of business. you have more automation. it's here. we're already doing it in our restaurants and our businesses. and we're going to have more of it. >> jimmy: it's still especially weird i think with food. when you're talking about building a car, you know, your mom or dad or whatever makes you breakfast, makes you dinner. they're not in the garage building you a car. so it's like you're used to that human connection to your food. and to have an artificial connection -- i guess it's like -- i don't know, i guess
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there wasn't a toaster at some point. >> yeah, washing your dishes was by hand for forever, until now you have a dishwasher. think of how many hours that saves. if you think about that pattern, i think you're going to see that more and more in how we operate and live on a day-to-day basis. >> jimmy: but then people also miss out on the rich reward of washing a dish. [ laughter ] >> this is true. >> jimmy: yeah, you have a cookbook you have been working on too. >> yes. >> jimmy: what's the title? >> "cooking at home: who are how i learned to love not following recipes and learned to love my microwave." i just butchered the title. >> jimmy: you don't know the title of your own book? >> it's so long, it messes me up. >> jimmy: we'll put it on the screen later. there it is, okay. you're always up to interesting stuff. i can't wait to see it. the show is called "the next thing you eat." it premieres on hulu october 21st. you can see all the stuff we're going to be eating, for good or
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bad, in space i guess when we live there. david chang, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with phoebe bridgers! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. people everywhere living with type 2 diabetes people everywhere living with type 2 diabetes are waking up to what's possible with rybelsus®. with rybelsus®. with rybelsus®. ♪ you are my sunshine ♪ ♪ you are my sunshine ♪ ♪ my only sunshine... ♪ rybelsus® is a pill that lowers rybelsus® is a pill that lowers rybelsus® is a pill that lowers blood sugar in three ways. increases insulin when you need it... increases insulin when you need it...
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>> jimmy: welcome back. phoebe bridgers is on the way. but first, canva is the online platform that empowers everyone in the world to design. guillermo, have you ever tried canva? >> guillermo: funny you should ask, jimbo. i did try canva and it changed my life. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, honey. >> hey. >> jimmy: you know my birthday's coming up. >> yeah? >> guillermo: there's something i really, really want. >> i'm not getting you a llama. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: i thought you'd say that. which is why i make you a presentation. >> really? >> guillermo: yes. i use canva to help me design like a pro. with thousands of templates, you just drag and drop, photos, text, you can add music and videos. get ready to blow out your socks. [ laughter ] why we need a llama. llamas are great companions.
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they are cute, fun, and smart. and we can start a business. pajamas for llamas. and with canva, i can design marketing materials like a logo and business cards and we will be rich, awesome! >> i can't believe i'm saying this. but let's get you a llama. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: thank you! all right. [ laughter ] laum ma llama, meet mama. >> dicky: for business or personal use, canva, the free online platform empowers everyone in the world to design. we're all ready for a real vacation. one where you can sip tropical drinks with fruity garnishes, without having to get up. a vacation where you don't have to sweat the small stuff, like rummaging for room keys.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to larry david and david chang. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, billie eilish and zach galifianakis will be with us. "nightline" is next, but first, buckle in, a voyage is about to begin. her album is called "punisher." here with a very special version of "moon song," phoebe bridgers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, cause of death. how gabby petito was killed. >> death by strangulation, and manner is homicide. >> new details about the cross-country traveler, her body left in the wyoming wilderness for weeks. suspicion centering on her boyfriend. >> whoever killed gabby literally choked her to death. plus the soul of broadway. the new play, "thoughts of a colored man." >> i can't wait for the day when my skin isn't a novelty and our story isn't synonymous with poverty. >> helping to crash through barriers on the great white way. >> we want every man to understand, their story deserves to be told, and this is their home as well.
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