>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- billie eilish -- and zach galifianakis -- and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. hi, everybody. i appreciate that, thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. i'm grad you're watching. thank you for joining us here tonight in hollywood, california, on another billionaire blast-off day. did you see the launch this morning? this morning in texas. blue origin, the company founded by jeff bezos, prime-delivered their second group of civilian passengers into space and back

today. and guess who's in that rocket? t.j. hooker himself, william shatner. he is now the oldest person ever to go to space. he's 90 years old. which you don't launch a 90-year-old man into space. [ laughter ] his testicles are probably mid-leg already, put 5 gs on those, they could kill everyone on board. that's how kenny rogers died. but he made it back alive. thank god. can you imagine if jeff bezos killed captain kirk? [ laughter ] and then turned to camera and started speaking klingon? i wouldn't be the least bit shocked. >> musicians on board, too. william shatner, everyone knows him as an actor, he also sings. i think that's one of the beautiful things about what we're doing at blue origin, opening the door to more people to go to space. yes, the scientists. yes, the engineers. but now the artists, poets,

singers, deejays. let's just see what they create coming out of this experience. >> jimmy: yes, let's focus our efforts on getting more deejays into space. [ laughter ] first we got them all to las vegas. now let get them to space. would you go to space if they asked you? >> guillermo: yeah, sure. >> jimmy: really, you would like to? >> guillermo: i would love to, yeah. >> jimmy: really, wow. the risk?n't be worried about - >> guillermo: no, i will take a bottle of tequila with me and i will be fine, no problem. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're scared of heights, you won't go up to the top of a building. >> guillermo: i will close my eyes, drink tequila. >> jimmy: once we had you climb up a high diving board, and you refused to jump off. >> guillermo: that's the time i got diarrhea, yeah. [ laughter ] but this one, i will go. >> jimmy: they keep referring to the passengers on this thing as astronauts. even though the flight lasted ten minutes. it was a fun experience, sure.

but they're not astronauts. buzz aldrin was an astronaut. these people came to space and came right back. calling them astronauts is like claiming you lost your virginity because you found a "playboy" in the wood. it doesn't count, and i know that from firsthand experience. and when they did land, they were greeted by jeff bezos himself, who got himself a pretty cool suit and opened the hatch. then -- i don't know, this was interesting to watch. somehow this was more interesting than watching this thing launch into space. after the flight, shatner was trying to take a moment to put his experience into words, and watch this, because this is what you act like when you have $200 billion. >> you know what my -- the impression that i get that i never -- is the shooting up -- >> come here. i want one.

i want to hear this. here. want a little of this? >> jimmy: beaming the hell out of here, scotty. [ applause ] poor william shatner. first, no green women in bikinis trying to have sex with him in space, then he gets iced, blown off by jeff bezos. they did finally get a moment together, and bill was obviously very touched by what he saw up there. >> you have done something. whatever those other guys are doing, what is it? i don't know about that. but you have given me the most profound experience i can imagine.

i'm so filled with emotion about what just happened. i just -- it's extraordinary. extraordinary. i hope i never recover from this. >> jimmy: did you guys see that lizard tongue, or was that just me? [ laughter ] the whole thing was very over the top. they had a livestream. they had announcers. the announcers for this thing were obviously employees of the company, because it felt less like a rocket launch and more like a north korean news broadcast. >> so this is a pinch me moment for all of us. >> you are living our own dreams through you guys. >> this is what rocket launches are about. it is really exciting. and i'm just happy to be sharing this moment with you, jackie. >> we are go for launch. i am so excited for this crew. i can just imagine, jackie, they're having the time of their lives. so exciting, jackie, to have sent captain kirk himself to space.

wow. that gets me every time. the sonic boom is so cool. >> you did it, commander bezos, lord of the skies, we worship at your feet. impregnate us with your mighty bald babies! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's jackie for you, you know? [ applause ] we're sending people into space for no reason. this is what's happening in north korea. state-run media, it's fascinating to watch. this defense exhibition, the north korean soldiers were performing for kim jong-un doing cartoon-style feats of strength. >> jimmy: wow.

that north korean guy looks a little bit -- [ applause ] halloween is less than three weeks away. we have so many decorations this year. we have ghosts and bats and witches. i hate all of it, i hate halloween, but the kids love it. they wanted us to start decorating on labor day. this is interesting. they did a study, they polled homeowners, they looked at common google search terms to learn how americans decorate their homes for halloween by state. they used the data to make this map, and there are some interesting findings. utah is the state with the most decorations. i guess they have the most kids. [ laughter ] did you know in utah, kids come to the door and say "or treat"? because tricks ar sin. [ laughter ] that's true. the second-most decorated state is illinois. new jersey was number three. and number four on the list was texas. texas also had the scariest decorations. led by this real-life grandpa munster. [ laughter ] the cancun chupacabra. as he is known. [ laughter ] speaking of texas, last night, i

mentioned the governor of texas, greg abbott, signed an executive order to ban vaccine mandates anywhere in the state. companies trying to have a vaccine mandate, they're not allowed to in texas. unfortunately for him, two airlines that are based in his state said no way, they're refusing to follow his order. american and southwest say federal regulations take priority, so they will continue to require vaccination for their employees. and they will also be providing abortions on select flights. [ laughter ] american, southwest, united, jetblue, alaska -- most of the major airlines have mandates. the only big one that i know that doesn't have it is delta. which is nuts. if any airline should have a vaccine mandate, it's the one named after the variant. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] they're doing an interesting thing in louisiana. they're giving out vaccines at the zoo, to animals. the audubon zoo in new orleans has begun to vaccinate monkeys

and will soon be administering doses to tigers and otters too. i would have loved to be at the meeting where the zookeepers divvy up who vaccinates which. "dave, you're going to do the otters, and steve, you're on gorillas." [ laughter ] but it's funny that this is happening in a state that has one of the lowest rates of vaccinated humans. it's almost like they gave up and were like, i guess we give them to the monkeys. i don't know. [ laughter ] and while covid rates are down here in the u.s., health experts say cold weather could ramp things up again as people move indoors. with the holidays coming, we will once again have to choose which we love more, grandma or mashed potatoes. [ laughter ] dr. fauci said now is not the time to become complacent. which means now is 100% the time we will absolutely become complacent. [ laughter ] here in california, they are loosening the rules for coachella festival next year. coachella, which was canceled last year, will not require

proof of vaccination. instead you have to get a negative test for covid and positive for literally every other drug. [ laughter ] you know, a year ago, the idea of going to coachella seemed unthinkable. but we've come a long way. and with that said, it's time to visit the ghosts of pandemic past in a new edition of "this week in covid history." >> this week in covid history, it's mid-october 2020. the president is all better. time for an unmasked kissing fest. >> i'm immune, i could come down and start kissing everybody. i'll kiss every guy, man and woman, man and woman, look at that guy. >> what's gotten into him? >> i don't know what they gave he, but give me some 94 of it. i don't know what the hell they gave me, but i'll take some more of it right now. i don't know what the hell you gave me, but i want some more of it. >> sorry, no more for you, junk. . joe biden holds a pep rally in a parking lot. [ horns honking ]

>> got bless you. got protect -- thank you. which way am i going? >> follow the nice lady in the nurse's hat. >> can you imagine if you lose to a guy like this? >> yes, we can! >> this is not a time for rallies. some estimates suggest 400,000 deaths between now and the time of the inauguration. >> let's hope dr. downer isn't exactly right. oopsie. >> don't listen to the professional pessimists. the light at the end tunnel is near. >> sadly, the light is an oncoming train. now it's time for espanol with senor pence. >> four more years! quadro janos mas! >> what a rainbow coalition. >> the fact is i've done more for the black community than any president since abraham lincoln. i say it, nobody can dispute it. nobody can dispute it. >> laughter is the best medicine. and we're going to need it.

this has been "this week in covid history." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great show for you tonight. zach galifianakis is with us. and we'll be back with billie eilish. ♪ ♪ ♪ why go back to reality. when you could go back to the pool? the last day of vacation is still vacation with guaranteed 4pm checkout at over 1,200 fine hotels & resorts properties. one of the many reasons you're with amex platinum. think wearing less makeup means no need for a wipe? think again. neutrogena® makeup remover wipes remove the 30% of makeup ordinary cleansers can leave behind. your skin will thank you.

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get started with a great offer and ask how yocan add comcast busi. plus for a limited time, ask how to get a $500 prepaid card when you upgrade. call today. >> jimmy: tonight. from the new animated movie "ron's gone wrong," zach galifianakis will join us. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, kumail nanjiani and salma hayek with music from bleachers. please join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an enormously talented singer and songwriter. she is the youngest artist ever to win the grammy for record of the year and album of the year. her latest is called "happier than ever," and her world tour starts february 3rd in

new orleans. please welcome billie eilish. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. thanks for coming. >> thank you. hi! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a lot of your admirers have been waiting since early this morning for you to come. >> have they really? >> jimmy: they have. is it strange for you when you have people who are really excited about seeing you, who are older than you are? >> no. i love -- >> jimmy: you like it? [ laughter ] i don't know, you know why i asked that? >> you think they're all old. >> jimmy: there's one lady who looks 12 but she's a grandmother, she told me. [ cheers and applause ] this one here. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: you know why i asked

it, actually? because -- well, first of all, i drove by and i saw them. secondly, i found that as i get older, and like i'll be at a game, and i'm like, oh, i love this guy, whatever. you realize he's 21. it seems stupid when you're 53. >> are you 53? >> jimmy: i am. >> congratulations. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thanks. i'm hoping to make to it 63. >> i very much like it. because it's been this way since the beginning. even when i was like 15, 14. you know, touring and doing stuff. there would be people in meet and greets that were in their 40s and i loved that. they were genuine fans, and it made me very happy. >> jimmy: good, it's good that you like it. >> so hi, guys. [ cheers and applause ] did you see william shatner went into space? >> no. >> jimmy: yeah, william shatner, who was captain kirk on "star trek." >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: would you go into space? >> i would literally rather do

anything else. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: me too. >> i hate the idea. liking if on a ferry for months. anything else, i'd rather do. >> jimmy: i have no interest in going to space. can talk -- >> somebody asked me once -- my mom was like, we got an email from a girl who used to know mom, would billie want to go space and sing? [ laughter lau [ laughter ] and i was like, no, never. >> jimmy: did this woman have any connecton to the space industry? >> i don't know, it didn't make sense to me. i was like, why would you ask me that? >> jimmy: i saw the james bond movie, and you have the big song. [ cheers and applause ] i guess the song came out, then the movie didn't come out. >> yes. yep. >> jimmy: then the song won a grammy, next the song could win an oscar, quite possibly. [ cheers and applause ] which you would take one of

those, right?p>> uh-huh. >> jimmy: i know you made a couple of documentaries. did you want to make movies? do you want to make scripted films? >> i want to do something in the world of it. i just love, like, cine cinematography is really something i admire. i wouldn't necessarily want to, like, act in stuff. i mean, if something came along that felt right, then yeah. but yeah,i used to want to make a movie really bad, like that was a thing i was planning on doing. who knows. >> jimmy: when they asked you to write a song for james bond did you know the history of -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: -- kind of what a huge deal that is? >> yes. >> jimmy: recently, adele did one. uh-huh. >> jimmy: carley simon, paul mccartney, all of these different -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: then do you listen to all those songs before setting out to write one? >> i knew all of them because i've loved bond since forever,

so has my entire family, and the world. >> jimmy: you really knew what was going on -- >> yeah. "skyfall," and i know that was more of a recent one, but my favorite song in the world. the song itself. i loved that song, loved the movie. and i've said this before, but years before the bond song, our song, was going to be anything, was even a topic of discussion with us, we would do ate as songwriting exercise, me and my brother. >> jimmy: really? >> we would pretend to write a bond song. like years ago. we would just be like, let's sit down and, like, do some chords that feel bond-esque. >> jimmy: do you guys do that regularly? >> yes. >> jimmy: come up with assignments for yourself? >> yeah, it's a songwriting technique. it's really helpful to have, like, perimeters of what you can do. >> jimmy: how did you learn about that? who came up with that idea? >> i mean, my mom taught us a lot. my mom has written songs her whole life. she's the one that taught us how to write songs. she's right there.

[ cheers and applause ] and that's my dad. >> jimmy: my mother used to lay on the ground and pretend to be dead until we cried. [ laughter ] i only mention it because she's asked me to stop telling that story. wow, so that's -- you really had a jump on all this stuff. it makes me feel like i'm way behind with my children. then you write the song, it's in the movie, it must be exciting to see it in the movie itself, to be part of the james bond movies. >> oh, yeah, yep. >> jimmy: they had a huge premiere in london. >> huge. >> jimmy: it seemed even bigger than it was, and it was absolutely big because nobody is really doing anything like this right now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you met the royal family. >> yes. >> jimmy: i assume they read you the rules and all that stuff before you met them? >> oh, yeah. there was a whole list of things. >> jimmy: did you pay attention to those rules? you did not, i had a feeling. >> i tried to, i was planning on it. they were just so normal. they didn't make me feel like,

st colimeary, they ha t talk to all these questions for me. they were just very friendly and funny and sweet. i don't know. i can't complain, it was amazing. >> jimmy: how is your brother doing? >> he's good. >> jimmy: he's good? >> yeah, he's good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys tired of each other yet? >> tired of each other? >> jimmy: sick of each other yet? >> we are the way that every pair of siblings are. >> jimmy: okay. >> also, we're best friends, so it's fine. >> jimmy: yeah, most siblings aren't best friends. >> true. >> jimmy: a lot of the them will pull each other's hair. >> true. we do that too. >> jimmy: i want to mention this book. this is a book called "billie eilish." did you put this together? >> i did. >> jimmy: this is photographs and stories and all sorts of things from your life. we have one -- will you put that up on the screen? a photo of your choir. >> oops. >> jimmy: let's find billie there, the only one not -- [ cheers and applause ]

>> oh, god. >> jimmy: rule-following is not your thing, i guess? did you get in trouble for that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> it was not -- yeah. i did many things like that in choir. i mean, i was the only person with colored hair in the choir, too. they did not like me over there. >> jimmy: yeah, now you're the only one with a grammy probably, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> i love that choir. that choir was literally my best moments of my life, for real. >> jimmy: i have something here that is your bucket list that you wrote when you were 14. >> 12. >> jimmy: oh, 12. 2014, okay. >> 2014, i was 12. think about that, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were 12 in 2014. >> how old were you in 2014? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so old, i can't add it up. >> really quick. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> do you remember last time i was here? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you made me look a little stupid? >> jimmy: well, yeah,

accidentally. >> i thought it was funny, because i was playing along, and everybody thought i was serious and didn't know anything. but here's your quiz. >> jimmy: okay, good, great. [ laughter ] as i recall, you were unfamiliar with van halen? >> i didn't know -- yes. there was a lot of the things you asked and i was like, i don't know. >> jimmy: everybody jumped down your throat. >> it was funny, i didn't really care, but -- okay. i'm making these up on the spot. >> jimmy: okay, good. [ laughter ] >> do you know -- ha. wait. i have a better idea. mommy? >> jimmy: do i know mommy? >> sorry, molly? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know anything. listen -- >> anyway, go on. >> jimmy: when we come back, though, we're not going to focus on me, we're going to focus on you and making all the dreams that have not been realized come true with your bucket list. [ cheers and applause ] billie eilish, everybody! we'll be right back.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, we're back with billie eilish. this is her record, it's called "happier than ever." it's a personal song, isn't it? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: is it a song somebody would be upset when they would hear that song, go oh, this might be about me?

>> huh! >> jimmy: yeah? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: is it possible that person would write a response song? >> oh! >> jimmy: you always have to think about that. >> hm. >> jimmy: never date musicians, i think, really is the moral to that story. >> it would be very cowardly to. >> jimmy: you're turning 20 in december. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you looking f forward to the tour, going back on the road? >> hell, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you made a bucket list when you were 12 years old. i have it right here. this is real. >> real, a real thing. >> jimmy: bucket list, billie. meet justin bieber at the top of the list, we know you did that. [ cheers and applause ] we'll run through. get kicked out of a target? >> no. >> jimmy: zip line above a city? >> grown that. >> jimmy: grown my hair past my butt? >> did not do that. >> jimmy: get my hair done? >> done that. >> jimmy: punch someone? >> i have not done that. >> jimmy: get a mouse? >> have not gotten a mouse.

>> jimmy: ride a dolphin? >> haven't done that, can't do it in here, though. >> jimmy: you can't do that anymore, yeah. >> also, yeah, no. >> jimmy: cut someone's hair? >> no. >> jimmy: never done that, okay, great. too win the game? i know what that one means. >> i don't think you do. >> jimmy: i know i lost it by bringing it up. >> there you go, lost the game. >> jimmy: work with animals? >> done that. >> jimmy: go to paris? >> done that. >> jimmy: big shopping spree? [ laughter ] >> done that. >> jimmy: done that, all right. well, with the exception of the dolphin, let's do the things that you haven't done. i mean, i think i have them here. [ cheers and applause ] let's get them checked off. here we go. follow me, we have it all set up. i'm going to first need a volunteer from the audience. who would like to get their hair cut by billie eilish? [ cheers and applause ] all right, yeah, come on up. hook you up. come on up here, yes, thank you. hi, there. what's your name? >> come here.

sit in this chair. >> jimmy: have a seat in the chair, here's a microphone so we can hear you. what is your >> grisedla. >> jimmy: with the mask i can't understand. >> like the monkey. >> now you're using old references for me. [ laughter ] i'm going to give you this. billie's never cut anyone's hair. we're thinking bangs might be a nice thing for you. shall we take off your glasses? >> i can't see without them, but sure. >> first f all, do you give me consent to do this? >> hell, yeah. >> if i do a bad job on purpose, you're just going to have to deal with it. >> jimmy: maybe a little brush here in the front. here we go. i'm going to help, if you don't mind. i'll be your assistant. >> all right, here we go. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: bucket list item number 1. >> oh, god. oh, god. >> okay, ready? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: actually looks retty good. >> it's cute! >> jimmy: yeah. all right, griselda, well done. i'll take that microphone from you. yes, go show everyone your hair. [ cheers and applause ] >> i love you. >> me, too. >> jimmy: next up, get a mouse. let's bring in a mouse for billie eilish. billie, you've always wanted a mouse, now you have -- a mouse. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, hello! >> jimmy: a very cute mouse, and a computer mouse too. >> that's a beauty. >> jimmy: what are you going to name him? >> that's a little cute mouse. >> jimmy: cute, right? >> he's cute. what am i going to name him?

marcus. >> jimmy: marcus, i like that. marcus the mouse, all right. [ applause ] next on the list, punch someone. >> oh! >> jimmy: punch someone. you know what? i think -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i think you should punch me, i'm probably the strongest person here. [ laughter ] >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: don't hold back. you just go ahead. i have -- i'm like a seal, i'm telling you. i'm only worried -- hit me as hard as you want in the stomach. i promise. okay? >> well -- the goal is for the face, but i'm not going to do that to you. >> jimmy: the goal is the face? [ cheers and applause ] >> that's okay. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ . >> you said i could. >> jimmy: all right. let me see. did we do this? thrown out of a target is one of the things. >> hey, excuse me, miss. did you just punch that elderly man? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what elderly -- she did -- yes.

[ cheers and applause ] >> you've got to come with us now. >> okay. a target.etsn let's make it a target! it as target now. [ cheers and applause ] get her out of here! billie eilish, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "happier than ever" is the album. billie will be pack to sing. be back with zach galifianakis! experience a whole new side of billie eilish on oculus quest 2. we chose our new spark cash plus card from capital one, because it gives us unlimited two percent cash back on everything we buy. and it has no preset spending limit, so our purchasing power adapts to our business needs. we use our two percent cash back to help cover our employees' healthcare costs.

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the hero prevails. in hollywood, this would be the end. but our here, we are just getting started. introducing the all-new nissan frontier. >> jimmy: hey, now. music from billie eilish is on the way. you know our next guest from numerous hangovers, baskets, and ferns. his latest project is the very animated animated movie, "ron's gone wrong." ♪ >> hi! entered registered name. i am your -- your -- your -- i am -- >> my b-bot? b-bot. my best friend out of the box. >> i am, insert registered name, best friend out of my box. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: "ron's gone wrong" opens in theaters a week from friday. please welcome, from the canadian wilderness, zach galifianakis! [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, everybody. >> jimmy: hi, zach. you're in your car? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm assuming it's your car. you could be in anybody's car right now, for all i know. >> well, i mean, i'm in a station wagon alongside the road because i couldn't do the show from my house because my internet connecton's too bad. so i'm doing it from my car where it's in the middle of a field where it's better. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, when you have to go to a field to get better wi-fi, it's time to call verizon. you missed billie eilish, she just punched me in the stomach. >> i know. you know, she and i have a lot -- a very similar bucket list. >> jimmy: oh. >> well, i want my hair to grow down to my butt.

[ laughter ] that was one of my goals. and no, i've actually worked with billie eilish's parents before. because they're both actors. and i remember her mom was telling me a few years ago that her daughter was an up-and-coming singer. i think my attitude was, "yeah, sure she is, right, okay." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, are you canadian now? i feel like we might never get you back. >> i'm always going to be an american, but it really is nice to be up in canada. >> jimmy: yeah. >> really is. i like it up here. >> jimmy: i know you love it. you live in a tiny little place up there, right? >> well, i live in my car. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many in the town near the car where you live? >> how many people live in this town? is that what you asked? >> jimmy: yes, that is what i asked, yeah. >> well, it's about -- you only see the same 20 people, but i'd

say there's about 700 people here. but you only see the same 20 people. a lot of ex-peyote enthusiasts are here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? and are they all ex, or is there still peyote going around there? >> i wouldn't know anything about that stuff, i really wouldn't. hey, be quiet, i'm doing a zoom meeting! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how's the family doing? are they enjoying being up there? >> my children are feral. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> other than that, everything's fine. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> they're 4 and 7. no, they're 4 and 8. and they carry knives everywhere they go. my son was complaining the other night at dinner, dad, you don't let me do anything. they carry knives everywhere. i go, what do you want to do? you never let me hitchhike. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: is that true? >> that's life up here in the canadian woods. >> jimmy: do you miss doing standup. >> going out to clubs and doing comedy, interacting with people? >> no. i just -- no. i really just like doing talk shows from cars now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah? that's enough, huh? [ cheers and applause ] >> no, i -- i will say -- i will say, because of the mask, you know, you're not that identifiable, which is nice. i miss it, and i find myself performing for cashiers at grocery stores. and sometimes it doesn't go very well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what, you'll do jokes for the cashier? >> yeah. the last one i did, i tried to do a whole bit about the prices of oreos. and it just fell flat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe she thought you were registering a complaint. >> maybe. i did ask where the comment box was. >> jimmy: okay, so you're not doing any standup.

you're really just like -- you've become, i don't know, like if the unabomber had a family really is what's happened to you, zach. >> well, this is the kind of stuff i do. this is what i did today. this is honestly what i did yesterday and today. i pick up the chicken poop in the yard. then i dry it. then i chop it up and make it my own fertilizer. and i was in the local store here bragging that i do this. that i, you know, make my own fertilizer.pand this old farmer behind me goes, "i've been making my own territory lieder for years in my pants." [ laughter ] yeah, so anyway. >> jimmy: so you're making friends. >> the best life. yeah, making friends. >> jimmy: this movie "ron's gone wrong," i love the idea of this. tell us a little bit about it.

since this is why we've stopped you in your vehicle. >> "ron's gone wrong" is a family movie where i play a robot who is a really sleek robot, usually, if you get the right kind, but i am a malfunctioning robot. this boy that gets this bummer gift, which is me, is forced to learn the real meaning of friendship. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and before we go, zach, show us one weird thing that's in your car. is there anything in there that would delight us? anything that you've got? what have you got? [ laughter ] so it's not just the kids, you're carrying a very, very safe-looking knife around too? >> yeah, this is a mushroom foraging knife, it's not very dangerous. >> jimmy: is it really? are you foraging -- >> yeah, foraging mushrooms.

what else do i have? let's see. do you want to see what's in my cd player? rolling stones. >> jimmy: you have a cd player? >> yeah well what -- what's wrong with that? >> jimmy: oh, no, nothing, nothing. eventually the technology will get to the island, don't worry. [ laughter ] >> do you want to see some of my 8-tracks i have in the back? >> jimmy: zach galifianakis, everybody. "ron's gone wrong" opens friday at the movies. we'll be back with billie eilish! thanks, zach. got directv stream. now we can watch live tv and on demand. serena... scary movie... serena... scary movie... serena williams ready to serve. ahh! quiet, please. triple match point serena williams... this is her moment. ahh! quiet, please. ahh! quiet, please! get your tv together with the best of live and on demand. introducing directv stream, with no annual contract.

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applebee's. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. (music plays throughout) applebee's. oh! we're dancing. woah! oh. ok! and that's a yeah. (music stops) i'm a dancer now. we make sit-down chicken... ...stand-up chicken... backyard chicken... ...oops chicken... ...lots-a-time chicken... ...no-time chicken. if there's one thing we know, it's chicken, chicken and chicken. more choices. more wow. more to love. tyson. ♪ more choices. ♪i don't relate to you♪ ♪i don't relate to you, no♪ ♪'cause i'd never treat me this♪ ♪you made me hate this city♪ ♪and i don't talk about you on the internet♪

♪never told anyone anything bad♪ ♪never paid any mind to my mother or friends♪ ♪so i shut 'em all out for you 'cause i was a kid♪ [heavy music amp trails off] [ukulele strings] (vo) rated e for everyone.

>> dicky: tonight's music on "jimmy kimmel live" is presented by "oculus quest 2." >> jimmy: we are high atop the roosevelt hotel in hollywood. this is her album "happier than ever." here with some brotherly love from finneas, billie eilish! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when i'm away from you i'm happier than ever ♪

♪ wish i could explain it better ♪ ♪ i wish it wasn't true ♪ ♪ give me a day or two to think of something clever ♪ ♪ to write myself a letter to tell me what to do ♪ ♪ ♪ do you read my interviews or do you skip my avenue ♪ ♪ when you said you were passing through was i even on your way ♪

♪ i knew when i asked you to be cool about what i was telling you ♪ ♪ you'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do and i'd end up more afraid ♪ ♪ don't say it isn't fair you clearly weren't aware ♪ ♪ that you made me miserable ♪ ♪ so if you really wanna know when i'm away from you i'm happier than ever ♪ ♪ wish i could explain it better i wish it wasn't true ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ you call me again drunk in your benz driving home under the influence ♪ ♪ you scared me to death but i'm wasting my breath 'cause you only listen to your ♪ ♪ i don't relate to you i don't relate to you no 'cause i'd never treat me this ♪ ♪ you made me hate this city and i don't talk about you on the internet ♪ ♪ never told anyone anything bad cause that

[ muted ] is embarrassing ♪ ♪ you were my everything and all that you did was make me [ muted ] sad ♪ ♪ so don't waste the time i don't have and don't try to make me feel bad ♪ ♪ i could talk about every time that you showed up on time but i'd have an empty line ♪ ♪ 'cause you never did ♪ ♪ never paid any mind to my mother or friends so i shut 'em all out for you 'cause i was a kid ♪ ♪ you ruined everything good always said you were misunderstood ♪ ♪ made all my moments your own just leave me alone ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: tonight's music on "jimmy kimmel live" is presented by "oculus quest 2."

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>> jimmy: thanks to finneas, thanks to billie, thanks to zach galifianakis. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him tonight. tomorrow night, kumail nanjiani and salma hayek with music from bleachers. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching, goodnight.

tonight -- >> so you can just have a seat right here. >> the appointment, an intimate journey. one young texas woman -- >> you didn't plan to be pregnant at this period of your life? >> absolutely not. >> sharing some of the most personal moments of her life. crossing state lines to have an abortion. and taking us with her inside the clinic. >> it's my body, and it's my choice. >> the restrictive new law at the epicenter of the battle. >> no matter what, an abortion is taking a life, a human life. >> anti-abortion advocates hopeful they can change the law of the land. >> roe v. wade belongs in the trash heap of history, it's time for roe to go. >> this special edition of "nightline," "the appointment," will be right back.