tonight. i am ama daetz. dan: and i am dan ashley >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! with special guest host j.b. smoove! tonight -- chrissy teigen. mike epps. and music from aminé. and now, j.b. smoove! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> j.b.: whoo! [ cheers and applause ] come on! come on, now! yeah! [ cheers and applause ] take the roof off this boy. what's up, everybody?

i know how you feel. imagine how i feel. i got to walk around all day in me, you know what i'm saying? [ laughter ] i get it, i get it. welcome to "jimmy kimmel live," i'm your guest host j.b. smoove, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i won a damn emmy! give it up, come on, now. [ cheers and applause ] my man jimmy entrusted me with his show. he said, "make yourself at home, j.b.!" and i am! that's why i washed my feet in his office sink! [ laughter ] jimmy is out tonight because he was hosting "live in front of a studio audience" with the great norman lear. [ cheers and applause ] they recreated episodes of "the facts of life" and "diff'rent strokes" with an all-star cast. and we've got a behind-the-scenes look at that coming ul real soon, everybody. but more importantly, back to me. j.b. smoove. [ cheers and applause ]

now, this is a very big month for me. my birthday is next week, december 16th. [ cheers and applause ] and the day after my birthday, the new spider-man movie comes out. starring me! [ cheers and applause ] once again, i'm playing the role of julius dell. i love being in the marvel universe. my only complaint is this is my second marvel movie, and i still don't have a damn action figure. what's going on? [ laughter ] in fact, if you google "j.b. smoove action figure," this is what you find -- right here. [ laughter ] a signed picture of me. dressed as a damn valet holding a damn smurf. [ laughter ] guillermo, isn't that some bull [ bleep ]? >> guillermo: that's some bull [ bleep ], yeah. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] applause ] >> j.b.: i tell you, i'm enjoying this a lot. i don't know what it is, something feels off.

i felt it the moment i got here. i don't know what it is. it doesn't feel j.b. smoove enough in this studio tonight. and see, this is my opportunity to throw my hat into the late night hosting ring! not this hat, i love this hat too much. [ laughter ] i'm not going to let anything ruin that. first of all, the whole feng shui is off. i love that word, feng shui. like this right here. this camera, drop that baby lower. rght here, right here. i don't have a bad side. [ cheers and applause ] i don't have a bad side, but you're not getting my best side! [ laughter ] yeah, there we go. and you over here. i need to have that three-quarter right there, that cowboy shot. you know, hit me with that clint eastwood sound. ♪ [ laughter ] yeah, that's tight. right there. what else is going on? hey, wait a minute, now. no, no, no, no!

this ain't what happening tonight. you two black people, get your asses up now. don't make me come and get you. get up right now, get up and come down here. you crazy? get over here. [ cheers and applause ] when i'm hosting, black people don't sit in the back, they sit in the front! [ cheers and applause ] ask you two goofy asses, get up. get up. get up, i said! go to that parking lot, get back in your subaru, go to bubba gump shrimp or whatever the hell white people do, get your ass out of here. [ applause ] >> guillermo: get out of here, guys. >> j.b.: stay calm, j.b., stay calm, stay calm. whoo! guillermo. get your ass over here. this not going to happen, you ain't going to sit here with a naked-ass head like that. [ laughter ] you deserve something for yourself. this right here is from my

private collection right here. look, i want you to put this hat on right here. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: wow, thank you very much. wow. >> j.b.: get back to that damn seat! >> guillermo: thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> j.b.: whoo! that's a good start, that's a good start. you know what? it still ain't quite right, i got some other stuff i need to change. you two black people, i'm putting you in charge right now, okay? [ laughter ] don't [ bleep ] this up. [ cheers and applause ] i'm gonna "smoove" all this out. lost they damn mind around here. oh, i love me some barack. but i love me some me. who's the producer? >> i am. >> j.b.: that's you? what's going on with this intro song, man? ♪ bup bup bup bup bun bun bun ♪

what's going on, you made that? >> i don't know, it was written a long time ago. >> your wife wrote a song? [ laughter ] >> j.b.: that's right. >> that's great, but -- >> j.b.: whoa, whoa, you said but? oh, man. you fired. >> what? >> j.b.: grab your stuff. >> sorry. >> j.b.: huh? you're sorry, all right. fix everything around here. >> what's up, man, what's happening? >> j.b.: come on, brother, really? the ashy knuckles? why do you think we have these lotion stations, man? i don't want my people walking around here ashy in front of these white people! you know better than that, man. look. don't let me see you ashy. let that get in there. do the elbows. come on, you know better than this. what's going on right here? come on, man. i don't want to see you ashy no more. you know why? because you fired. yeah. mosey your ass out of the

building. i'm over it. whoo! looking chill, my man. what you got there? spin around, let me see that. oh! >> like it? >> j.b.: can you walk the runway? >> of course. >> j.b.: let me see you get down. look at you. keep on walking. out the building, because you fired. yeah, you gonna look real good on the unemployment line! how dare you? upstage me? [ laughter ] boy looked good, though. got to do everything around here myself. writers' room, you guys are writers? >> yeah. >> j.b.: we got to get going on this monologue, okay? it's not good, we need some good stuff. hey. come on, man. you're fired. no, you're fired! you're blocking the exit. get moving. no pressure. who's next? >> okay, so you know there's chunky peanut butter and then there's smooth peanut butter? what if we did an ad for smooth peanut butter? smoove peanut butter?

your last name. >> j.b.: i get it. what's next? peanut butter tooth paste and jelly mouthwash? you're fired. get out of here. who's next? you're fired. get moving. um, um. who's next? let's go. what you got? >> roast beef. >> j.b.: ha ha! you fired. get on out of here. you don't deserve this. get out of here. who's next? >> i think it's time the show does something about the conflict in belarus -- >> j.b.: quiet. you trying to get me assassinated? you're fired. what you two got? you're fired. get on out of here. whoo! what you got? >> maybe you -- yell at a dog? >> j.b.: can i walk you out? hey, look at this. three minutes ago upstairs in that writers' room, trying to connect. but guess what? we did. you know what they say. it's not you, it's me.

this time, it is you. [ laughter ] it's you. you're going to make somebody very happy. just not me. okay? hey, come on. let it go. can't take it. ♪ >> what if you yelled at a mean dog? >> j.b.: you know what, man? [ bleep ] out of here. got to get my hands on some writers. hey, darnell, this is j.b. i need some help. fast! ha ha ha! >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host -- >> get your ass out of the way, let me show you how to do it. >> announcer: a fashion icon and emmy award winner, your host for the evening, he's ready to live it up, it's your guy j.b. smoove! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> j.b.: yeah! that's what i'm talking about! yeah! yeah! that's more like it! keep it going for my boo! i make love to that lady. hr can't do a damn thing about it, ha ha! oh, yeah. man. i want to introduce all of you guys to my new hip young writing staff. these are all kids from the boys and girls club of america. [ cheers and applause ] don't make me cry, don't make me cry, okay? and look. this is one of the best

organizations in the world and where i have my humble beginnings. hey, guys. i got lauren, i got shanice, i got larry, i got chirod, i got melanie, i got miguel right there. [ cheers and applause ] y'all gonna make me cry, i love you kids! kids, you know i love you. say hello to america. >> hello! >> hi! [ cheers and applause ] >> hi! >> hey! >> j.b.: whoo-hoo! i'm told you guys are the best young comedy writers in the biz. i need a fantastic joke to end my monologue. who's my closer? shanice? no pressure. but the whole show is riding on you right now. give us, shanice, give us that joke. >> why can't you use a computer during the pandemic? >> j.b.: why can't you use a computer during the pandemic? >> why? >> because you'll catch a virus. >> j.b.: whoa!

[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> j.b.: come on, that is funny, that is funny. the hell with y'all. that's funny. you gonna repeat that joke at work tomorrow, i know what's going on. [ laughter ] i want to thank the boys and girls club, a wonderful organization that i have worked with over 20 years, everybody. nate to your nearest boys and girls club. please, please, please. [ cheers and applause ] they do amazing things and they are really near and dear to me, y'all. okay, everybody, let's go! we have a great show for you. chrissy teigen is here! [ cheers and applause ] mike epps is here! [ cheers and applause ] we got music from amine! [ cheers and applause ] when we get back, an exclusive look behind the scenes of tonight's "live in front of a studio audience" with kevin hart, jon stewart, will arnett, gabrielle union, and many, many

more. plant your ass on that couch, we'll be right back, baby!

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was producing and cohosting "live in front of a studio audience." it took a lot to bring those iconic shows back to life, and here now is an exclusive look at what jimmy and his friends have been up to this week. ♪ you take the good you take the bad you take them all and there you have the facts of life ♪ ♪ different strokes to move the world yes it does it takes different strokes to move the world ♪ >> to be able to be in this right now is really a bucket list item i did not know i had. >> i had so many people tweeting at me that were like, pigtails, right? we have to do pigtails, it speaks to them. pigtails say natalie. >> i feel like tootie. i feel like tootie. >> the whole thin is surreal. and then there's norman lear. mr. lear comes in to join us for the read-through. >> mr. lear, would you like to

say something? >> it took me 99 years to get to this moment. it was worth every split-second of it. bless you, i love seeing you, i love what's happening here. >> he's a tv legend. working in this type of atmosphere with people that understand it, it's always fun. and looking for the heart in the comedy, an episode like this is a must. >> to be able to go through my paces with jim burrows. when we were done, and this is going to stay with me, not to get emotional, but he takes a step back, he thinks for a second. he goes, "you're going to need cue cards, aren't you?" yep, probably. >> then i sit down, i look over, i think, okay, that's snoop dogg. he's next to me. damon wayians is right here. then there's kevin hart. and then there's john lithgow. and i'm in this somehow. how did this happen? >> recreating it, it's like -- it's like doing a revival of a

400-year-old shakespeare play. but one of the comedies. >> we were walking around the stages looking at the "facts of life" set and the "diff'rent strokes" set and it took me back to my youth. >> i usedto watch these shows, used to have such a love for the eople who played these characters. it's kind of dope now for it to come full circle. >> it is so accurate. you just, you know -- you start playing episodes in your head, you know. >> hey, babe. >> yeah, it's weird going back and playing a guy who's supposed to be i guess in high school? not weird for me. i can do it. but being -- seeing bateman? because he looks so old. that's where i think a lot of the comedy is, is how old jason bateman is. >> let's do it. >> yes! >> it's a special moment. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> let me tell you something

about will arnett. he's been after me for years. and i just keep, you know, winning with love and smiles. that's going to thaw him out one of these days. he's just got to work through a bunch of stuff. >> everything you think about snoop is true. it's like the master of cool, you know, and swagadocious. >> a picture is worth a thousand words. >> he has a little weed problem. >> that little swing and exit is just out of me being a moron. and trying to show off my singular dance move. i'm lending it here with no price bump whatsoever to this "facts of life" show. >> well, i loved carrying him across the stage. i astonished everybody, including my sciatic nerves. >> jimmy's producing this? >> yes. >> that's amazing. >> if there is a kinder, smarter, funnier human being,

i've not met that person. that is what i have to say about jimmy kimmel. >> kimmel is not a good producer or person. [ laughter ] and so there's a lot of -- the big thing on set is, where do we keep our valuables? [ laughter ] >> we're donating all of our salaries to the jimmy kimmel family foundation, which is a different thing. we're happy to see him getting his head above water. it's been a tough road for him these last couple of years. i mean, look at him. he's struggling. sixth time he's gotten covid in the last two weeks. [ laughter ] >> fifth time in the last two weeks. >> covid. and i don't care, because i love him, i'll just be this close to him, it doesn't matter. >> yeah. >> he's got three masks underneath that black one. it still seems to burn through, though. >> thank you for doing this. > look at that. now i got to boil the shoulder. [ laughter ] >> can't do old-school sitcom acting without some physicality. for example, getting in the bunk

bed and rolling, making noises, groaning. showing that you're not as limber as you once were. it's funny. >> i don't know that i've ever done a multi-camp show -- this might be the only one -- oh, no. years ago i was in a show called "the nanny." i was the hot doctor. >> take me. [ laughter ] >> turned out to be her cousin. >> cousins? eww! >> that was the twist. >> the great thing about '70s and '80s sitcoms is, they had catch phrases. >> what you talking about, willis? >> tv back then was all about punching the word. punching the punchline. >> don't have a waterbed. >> we will when you get in the bathtub and i turn on the faucet. >> the theme songs were so amazing because you hear them in another room, and you knew your show was on.

♪ different strokes different strokes rule the world ♪ yeah, i know it. ♪ you take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have the facts of life the facts of life ♪ second verse is like -- ♪ bleat bleat bout then you learn about ♪ utter nonsense to me. ♪ you take the good you take the bad ♪ [ bleep ] all ♪ it makes me sad ♪ but [ bleep ] all might not be in there. ♪ it takes a lot to get it right when you're learning the facts of learning the facts of learning the facts of life ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> j.b.: oh, we'll be right back with chrissy teigen, everybody! j.b.'s in the building! >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by petsmart.

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sometimes hallucinations. [ laughter ] and a little something i call "good bad advice." tonight on the show, we got my man mike epps is here! [ cheers and applause ] then later, from portland, oregon, his album is called "twopointfive." we've got amine from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, jimmy will be back with his guests rob mcelhenney, ariana debose, and music from sting. oh my gosh. baby, remember that time when we sat next to sting at the knick game? >> do i what? >> j.b.: whoo wee, amazing. you're scared when you see him. him and his wife got up and they left. then my wife and i sat in their seats and rubbed our booties where they were at. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> j.b.: that booty, wasn't that something, boo-boo? >> that's what we did.

>> j.b.: my hair turned blond, it was crazy. [ laughter ] crazy night, crazy night. wasn't it crazy? whoo wee. impromptu date, double date, right? our first guest is an exceptional lady. she's a model, tv host, entrepreneur, she personally requested the president of the united states stop following her on twitter! [ laughter and cheers ] and she makes a killer breakfast burger. her latest cookbook "cravings: all together" is available now. please say hello to my girl chrissy teigen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how are you? >> j.b.: oh, baby, look. oh my gosh. >> hi! >> j.b.: how are you?

>> i'm in j.b. smooveville, smooveworld? i'm happy to be here. good to see you again. >> j.b.: girl, everybody going to start visiting this amazing place, it's going to be something else, it's going to be a december nation. i'm good. i'm looking at you, how you been doing? >> i've been good. i'm honestly such a huge fan. john and i are big fans. this is very exciting for me. >> j.b.: oh my gosh. i haven't seen you in what, it's been like ten years? >> ten years, yes. >> j.b.: oh my god, oh. >> i'm like amazed. we have this, like, lost commercial, the two of us. >> j.b.: isn't that something? we did a commercial. a lebron commercial that never got aired. and we had a blast on it. wasn't it something else? >> it was so amazing. i only knew about everybody that was on it. i was like, lebron, j.b., it's going to be so cool! i remember standing next to you in a white swimsuit, just standing there. i don't know if i had lines or anything. but it was never aired. i'm like, it was no way it was their fault, it had to be me.

>> j.b.: don't blame yourself, okay? >> it was absolutely -- >> jimmy: i promise it was not you, i promise. it was a great day. >> it was my first commercial, it never aired. >> j.b.: the first ever? wow. >> yeah. it's lost. someone will find it. >> j.b.: you've walked the runways of the world, come on, now. >> no, that was nothing compared to this. >> j.b.: oh, well, well. well, you know what, the great thing about it, we are reconnecting right flour this is beautiful. and you know, i met your husband, john. >> i know. >> j.b.: on "curb your enthusiasm." >> i know, the bar mitzvah episode. [ applause ] >> j.b.: yes, yes. >> he was so excited. he was so excited to be there, honestly. he said everybody was so nice. he was like, j.b. doesn't swear as much in real life. s funny. we've been fans so long. i gave birth to my daughter, luna, we didn't go home, we rented the house that larry david stayed in. >> j.b.: oh my gosh. >> on one of the episodes. it was like this crazy house in malibu or something. and i remember it was an

episode -- i think you were like vigorously masturbating in the house. [ laughter ] that was the episode. >> j.b.: yeah. that was the episode. but it wasn't me! it was jeff. wasn't me, wasn't me. you would have been great on the show, oh man. you'd have some fun, man, it seems like such a fun show to be a part of. i'm a huge fan. >> j.b.: i tell you one thing that must be fun is walking runways, must be amazing. i consider myself a low-level model, a little bit. i got a little bit. you know, my boo, she shows me how to make that work, you know? if i'm -- now it's like a -- >> i need to see the walk. >> j.b.: it's a bounce, walk, bounce, walk, bounce! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] see that? bounce, walk, bounce. am i right, am i right? as a male model, i do a little something called the half height. the full heisman is like this, the half heisman is like this. [ cheers ]

have you ever worn those wings that you wear on the runway? >> a victoria's secret? >> j.b.: do you have a set at home? >> honestly, that would be incredible. when you get to be a part of shows like that, there's just so much going on, everyone looks so beautiful. i would love to. the only shows i opened and closed were miami swim fashion. i wasn't in paris or anything. my gosh. those were the days, honestly. and we shot that commercial. i was like, those were like my prime working model days. >> j.b.: yeah. >> i was just a young nothing. so i was very surprised to even have gotten it. and then it never airs. >> j.b.: oh my gosh. i hear that john's going to be having a recess daesidency in v >> yes. >> j.b.: what's that going to be about, family life in vegas? [ applause ] >> i am genuinely excited, i'm going to hit up a residency. >> j.b.: you've got to bounce around to every residency.

>> it's going to be a beautiful show, so exciting. it's at planet hollywood. it's going to be beautiful. bringing some romance to vegas. my kids, we're going to live in vegas, i guess this is our thing now. >> j.b.: do the kids love watching you guys perform -- >> no, no, no.pthey love, love, john's shows but -- miles can fall asleep on stage, right next to the stage, totally out. but they love, like, getting to travel around and being on tour and stuff and going to different arcades. i love bringing them around. and i was such a huge -- i went to vegas all the time as a little girl. my mom, we would take road trips and stuff. i would -- my first interaction with police was getting, like, dragged out of a casino at 8 years old. [ laughter ] >> j.b.: what? >> yeah my mom was hitting the slots. and i was sitting on the steps. and you can't be on the steps as an 8-year-old. so they take you away. >> j.b.: i'm assuming, now -- you're a tall lady. you must have been, like, 5'5",

5'6" at 8 years old. >> i really was. i was very lanky, yes. >> j.b.: oh, gosh. i could imagine. oh my goodness. >> thank you, thanks. >> j.b.: this is absolutely amazing. >> yes. >> j.b.: "all together." >> my third "new york times" bestseller, i'm very excited. [ cheers and applause ] i've never known what my job is. i never know what to write, like on forms, medical forms. occupation? i never know what to write. i feel like "author" might be a cool thing now. >> j.b.: it's your third book. >> yes. >> j.b.: you are doing absolutely amazing. >> thank you. >> j.b.: let me tell you something -- [ applause ] my wife and i are both vegans. >> are you? >> j.b.: vegans, yeah. >> there's actually a lot of -- not a lot. but there's a good amount of vegan recipes. every year i get very yelled at. there's so many vegans. i do feel like now is the best time to be vegan. there are so many wonderful ways to eat food now. >> j.b.: it really is. we have a garden at home. >> that's awesome. how long have you been vegan?

>> j.b.: my wife hasn't had meat in 20-something years. >> wow. >> j.b.: i've been full-time vegan for five years, six years. >> wow. >> j.b.: my wife, she hasn't had meat in a long time. >> i'd love to try it for a year. >> j.b.: i found you a spaghetti squash. >> oh, good. >> j.b.: oh, yeah. >> good. >> j.b.: and we'd love to have you guys over for dinner. >> i would love to cook for you both, i would love to, really. >> j.b.: cook something amazing together. i think that would be really great. >> love to. >> j.b.: this is chrissy teigen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "cravings all together" is available now. we'll be right back with my guy mike epps! get this book, get this book! ♪ ♪ ♪ the ride of your life is closer than you think. for the first time ever,

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> j.b.: whoo! man, that was so fun. guillermo, where the [ bleep ] is your hat? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: oh, sorry, my head got tired, sorry. [ laughter ] >> j.b.: my next guest is a dangerously funny comedian and actor who's starred in two "fridays," two "hangovers," and two "uncles," buck and drew. you can catch him live on his stand up tour this weekend at

la brea improv, next weekend at levity live, and december 29 in this mount pleasant, michigan. please welcome my guy the mighty mike epps, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> what up? >> j.b.: mike, i love you, i miss you, man. >> what's up, j.b.? >> j.b.: the first question is, you ever get your money that night? >> no, no. >> j.b.: me neither. >> tell them about terminal d. >> j.b.: we used to perform in clubs in new yok and jersey. there was a slight chance your ass wasn't going to get paid that night. >> that's right.

>> j.b.: terminal d was rough. >> yeah. >> j.b.: they had that bell on the wall, remember that bell? someone would get up from the show and walk over to the bell, and if you wasn't doing good, they would ring the damn bell. clang clang clang clang clang clang clang! >> i got paid in all 5s one night. [ laughter ] the guy must have been a weed dealer or something. had a garbage bag full of 5s. my hands was so black after i got done counting the money. >> j.b.: i got paid in 1s several. i got paid in 1s. got paid one night in a wing combo. [ laughter ] >> a little bread, a salsa packet. >> j.b.: cole slaw on the slide. what's going on? >> man, jimmy ain't here, let's just do whatever we want to do. >> j.b.: whatever we want to do. [ laughter ] >> you think he's going to see this? >> j.b.: let's use the bathroom. >> i know it. >> j.b.: and don't flush! [ laughter ] no, no, that's going too far, that's too much, too much.

hey, man. >> yeah. >> j.b.: you are -- let me pull something up right here. how about this right here? what is going on with this, man? >> man, you know what, j.b.? i got -- i did a special in my hometown, indiana, indianapolis, indiana. did my standup special. and the mayor gave me an official mike epps day in my hometown. [ cheers and applause ] >> j.b.: wow. mike, that's absolutely wonderful, man. >> yeah. >> j.b.: you know, man, we talk about all the time, humble beginnings, man. you cannot allow yourself to forget where you came from. >> you can't, you can't. >> j.b.: that's important to your growth. >> it is. >> j.b.: you're also this guy too. >> yeah, man. [ laughter ] >> j.b.: mike, mike. >> yeah, yeah. >> j.b.: you were this guy too, now. >> yeah, man. stole a car that. [ laughter ] arrested for steal park avenue, man. >> j.b.: whoo! mike, man. >> and now, see -- that's the reason why, see -- i took that

picture, and i got the mayor to give me a day in indianapolis. because i want to show the kids that even though you might have a start rough -- a rough start -- see, i said that wrong. [ laughter ] if you have a rough start, you can change in life. a lot of people don't know i stole cars. [ laughter ] >> j.b.: they don't know that, mike. >> better check your car when you leave here tonight. [ laughter and applause ] >> j.b.: mike, man. here's one thing i'm very impressed with, man. you are still potent. you know what potent means? you're still dropping them babies, baby, you know what i'm saying? >> yeah, yeah. >> j.b.: very potent. >> is that what it is? >> j.b.: potent. you're potent. >> yeah, you're saying "potenent." i'm saying "child support." [ laughter ] people be happy for you to have a kid but you be thinking, okay, another 18 years. >> j.b.: right, something go awry. >> yeah, yeah.

i just had a baby boy after -- >> j.b.: wow, mike. >> i got six girls, this is my first son. [ cheers and applause ] >> j.b.: whoo, mike. mike epps jr. >> and i'm 50 years old. >> j.b.: come on, man. >> i'm trying to take care of myself, so at least when he gets 25 and i'm 85, i can chase him. [ laughter ] >> j.b.: watch out for the middle years when you've got to throw the ball. deep pass! hire somebody to throw the ball to your son. [ laughter ] >> yeah, man. i'm excited, though, you know. having a son, man. it's a blessing from god, you know? for real. >> j.b.: not to mention, mike, there's another penis in the house, see? >> huh? well, you know -- >> j.b.: or -- >> it ain't -- it ain't the biggest. [ laughter ] >> j.b.: everybody know -- >> you got a position you got to play, you know what i mean? >> j.b.: everybody know how life is.

life starts with the pepe, goes to a penis, goes back to a pepe. [ laughter ] that's why they got viagra. >> for those who want to be young again for a second. >> j.b.: mike, this is absolutely insane, man. what are you going to do for damn christmas, man? the holiday. how do you buy -- >> oh, man. >> j.b.: how do you buy gifts for so many -- have you ever done something, a shared gift? y'all share that? >> oh, man. >> j.b.: daddy gon that sit on the couch watching football, you know what i'm saying? how do you do, mike? >> j.b., when you got that many kids, man, you have to give the gifts throughout the year. you can't really wait on the day. you got to take them to the mall a month before christmas, buy them something quick, say "you know that's your christmas right there." [ laughter ] >> j.b.: i like that. >> so christmas come, the depression ain't there. >> j.b.: people don't understand, you can't have a tab

for christmas, you know what i'm saying? develop a tab all year round. back in the days when we didn't have money like that man, we had to struggle doing standup shows, we couldn't always buy the kids all they wanted. >> that's right. that's right. >> j.b.: you had to always blame santa claus. [ laughter ] santa claus ain't [ bleep ]. [ bleep ].ll santa claus wasn't- >> santa claus didn't do it. >> j.b.: maybe it was you, you messed up throughout the year. >> that's right, that's right, pin on it santa claus. >> j.b.: tell me about the special. what's going on with the special? >> this is my fourth special that i've done, standup special, man. you know, they start getting challenging after a while, the older you get. you start -- your material changes. you don't have the fire that you had in the beginning. >> j.b.: yeah, yeah. >> but i'm glad that i'm still doing standup after 30 years. you know? [ cheers and applause ] i'm still doing standup. >> j.b.: we're about the same amount of time in standup.

i got you by a few years. >> yeah, yeah. >> j.b.: i'll be 56 this december. >> wow, you look good, j.b., keep doing what you're doing. >> j.b.: hey, man. >> i know what it is, right there, right there. >> j.b.: give the credits to our wives, you know? the fountain of youth. >> yes, yes. >> j.b.: and the checkbook. [ laughter ] mike, you are the man. for tickets to see mike live, go to mikeepps.com. we'll be right back with music from amine! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (kids chatter) ♪ ♪ ♪ make your holiday dreams come true. for way less than you expect. at t.j. maxx, marshalls and homegoods.

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live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> j.b.: wow! it's time for some music, everybody. this album is called "twopointfive." here with the song "charmander," amine! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ i get lost in the abyss i'm a quiet ♪ ♪ i'm a you can bet i'm in my head you can bet i'm in your ♪ ♪ these boys be my sons what up you get out you know i pick this from ♪ ♪ that's why i been living on this island with my blunt ♪ ♪ ignoring all my boys because my energy is priceless ♪ ♪ i've been living on an island too ♪ ♪ i've been living on an island too ♪ ♪ i've been living on an island too ♪ ♪ my energy is priceless isis too decisive don't catch that ego ♪ ♪ when i up in everybody say your highness ♪ ♪ because i'm royal but because i be the highest ♪ ♪ people be so phoney is why i be on my lonely ♪ ♪ people be so phony that's why i be on my lonely ♪

♪ i been living on an island too ♪ ♪ i been living on an island too ♪ ♪ i been living on an island too ♪ ♪ keep it to myself staying out the way ♪ ♪ always on my lonely because i can't change ♪ ♪ seeing how they talking to the homies ♪ ♪ taking care of me don't need a damn thing ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ born for this like matt dam red whip look like chastain sip-sip-sippin' champagne ♪ ♪ i do my damn thing born for this like matt damon ♪ ♪ like chastain ♪ >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel

there's this feeling we chase... like someone upped the brightness on the entire world. like your body is super-charged, but your mind is super calm. it feels like 20/20 vision for your whole being.

and we'll chase this feeling, until we can feel it... one. more. time. feel the hydrow high. [ cheers and applause ] >> j.b.: well, everybody, it's been great. that's all the time that we've got. i want to thank chrissy teigen, mike epps, amine, the boys and girls club of america, my wife, shah, check out the album, whoo! my man jimmy kimmel for having me. and burn's brims for guillermo's amazing hat. "nightline" is next. good night, america!

tonight -- >> we have a report of gunshots. >> inside the investigations. >> someone has to be held accountable. the truth has to be found. >> how could an al qaeda member make it onto a u.s. military base? >> america has been betrayed. >> survivors and families of the pensacola terror attack demanding change. >> he is a hero. he did his duty. he was at his post. >> what it all reveals about the flaws in our own system. >> he fooled you. >> you could say that. >> this special edition of "nightline," "the enemy inside," will be right back. find your breaking point. then break it. every emergen-c gives you a potent blend of nutrients so you can emerge your best