ama: right now i'm jimmy kimmel live, kevin hart. have a great night. i want to be fully transparent, and i know it's not easy to hear. but i was intimate with both of you. [ crying ] >> i've never felt pain like this before. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> he's in love with all three of us? >> i'm so broken. [ laughter ] >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- the live cast of "the facts of life" and "diff'rent strokes" featuring kevin hart and jennifer aniston, director guillermo del toro, and music from courtney barnett. and now, jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on another important night here at abc. i say it's an important night because it was -- "bachelorette men tell all night" here on abc. not only did they tell all, it was almost a fight. >> i've been able to provide for my mother, brother and sister, for my family. >> matter of fact, let's stop that right there -- [ overlapping speakers ] >> tell your sister to stay out of my dms. >> you got a problem with me? >> i do have a problem with you. >> jerry! jerry! jerry!

>> how the hell did he get in there? [ laughter ] that wasn't the only surprise. after that, this pizza guy peter -- i have to hand it to him, we've been through i don't know how many of these men tell-all specials, and they're always basically the same deal. until tonight, when peter literally served vengeance on his nemesis, will. >> there is one more thing i would like to say. i have somebody here if i could bring somebody out. >> your sister? >> i'm sorry, what? >> lil william joel rena? you've been served. for defamation of character. >> a little taste of what's going to happen in real life. >> oh, my god. >> [ bleep ]. >> one thing, bro, rest in pizza. >> jimmy: rest in pizza, bro. i would like that to be inscribed on my tombstone. [ laughter ] bro, it was a big weekend for

omicron, bro. the new variant has been reported in at least 18 u.s. states. and counting. it's soon to be everywhere. it's like that mariah carey christmas song. december 7th is where it really kicks in. [ laughter ] the good news is dr. fauci says that, so far, the level of severity associated with this variant is "encouraging" and that they are considering lifting travel bans. you know, they did a study at colorado state university and found that the people who spread covid the most are men. specifically, this man. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] never forget. men are thought to be more "spready" because, in general, we have larger lungs and are more inclined to give wet willies. [ laughter ] speaking loudly is also not good. it expels more particles. which means the loudest men can do the most damage. so stay as far away from gilbert gottfried as you can. [ laughter ] in other toxic masculinity news, we are getting more details about the number of people who may have been infected by our former superspreader-in-chief.

last week, we learned that trump tested positive for covid three days before his debate with joe biden. "the washington post" added it all up. between the day he tested positive for covid and the day he was hospitalized with covid, trump came into close contact with more than 500 people. that's right. he could have knowingly infected hundreds of people with a deadly virus. you know, when you're a star, they let you do it. you can do anything. [ laughter and moans ] trump took no precautions after testing positive. he did not cancel events, he was maskless inside the white house and on air force one. if you didn't know him better, it's almost like he doesn't care about others. [ laughter ] trump's latest business venture is off to a trumpy start. the social media platform he's been working on, ironically titled "truth social," missed their deadline for a partial launch. it was supposed to go online last month. even though it's behind schedule, trump claims his platform has raised $1 billion in funding. which must be true. he's always been a straight shooter when it comes to his finances. [ laughter ]

trump claims he got a billion dollar commitment from a "diverse group of institutional investors." he didn't disclose who those investors are. all we know for sure is that the investors are about to lose a billion dollars. [ laughter ] trump had better get this site up soon. over the weekend, he sent this doozy of an email that said, "anybody that doesn't think there wasn't massive election fraud in the election is either very stupid or very corrupt!" i couldn't agree more. maybe he's finally coming around. [ laughter ] "stupid" and "corrupt" are also his nicknames for eric and don jr. did you know that? [ laughter and applause ] donald trump's new business venture as picture book of his four years in office. all proceeds from the book go to -- him. [ laughter ] he was on fox news again yesterday. being moistly licked by mark levin, who asked trump to give

us insight into his relationship with melania. >> tell us about the relationship. >> so she's a very solid person. she's -- you're not allowed to say this anymore, but she's a beautiful person, she's very beautiful. but today that doesn't matter. you're not allowed to talk about it. i will not do that, okay? i will not talk about beauty. but she is, she's a beautiful person inside, and out. >> jimmy: most importantly, out. [ laughter ] "when i met her i immediately called jeffrey epstein and said 'cancel my flight. i found the one!'" [ laughter and moans ] [ applause ] you know, a couple weeks ago, i promised that if i had to show a clip of trump flapping his lips again, i'd try to make sure he was also naked, and so here you go. >> i could have made deals with everybody. i could have made deals in saudi arabia. i could have made deals with everybody. they all wanted me to make deals. i said don't do it. don't make deals. i knew that doing this would be very expensive, because i -- [ laughter ] i didn't want to do the kind of things many other people would

do. >> jimmy: i'm a man of my word if nothing else. [ applause ] in college football news, they announced the big college football games yesterday. michigan and georgia are in the orange bowl. alabama and cincinnati in the cotton bowl. ohio state takes on utah in the rose bowl. and the matchup for the biggest bowl of all, the first ever jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl, presented by steefull, has been set. we will see oregon state versus utah state. [ cheers and applause ] and i don't know if any of you have ever had a bowl game named after you, but it's exciting. the game is happening at sofi stadium on december 18th. i want to make it the best bowl game ever. and one thing we don't have is a mascot. the schools have mascots, but the bowl itself doesn't. and we need that to get the crowd fired up, so i reached out to an expert, dave raymond, who is "the mascot whisperer." he created some of the most popular mascots in sports. he founded the mascot hall of fame, and so who better to help me craft a special mascot for my special game?

>> jimmy: so your job is to go around to different cities and different teams and help them come up with a mascot? >> correct. >> jimmy: that's exactly what i'm looking for. i have a bowl game named after me. the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl. and i want to have a mascot. i want -- i don't want to just to be a one-year thing. i want my mascot to live on as the bowl game itself, even past my death. i want this to be my legacy. >> nice. >> jimmy: that's why i'm looking to you for help. what is this? >> i am a shrimp. and i want to be a mascot for the game. >> jimmy: no, no. we're coming one a new mascot. take off the costume. come on, let's get serious. sorry about that. how do you start with a situation like this? >> it starts with storytelling. you said you want this to live beyond, but i have a question. why did you want to do this? >> jimmy: mostly to bring joy to children and to strike fear into my enemies. >> good. we can do both.

what's going to happen as it did with the flyers, when we rolled out gritty, there was an enormous kickback of negativity, nastiness. >> that is gritty! who had quite an introduction the other night. googly eyes they say. >> jimmy: gritty is like a meth addict, right? s [ laughter ] >> no, no. >> jimmy: no? since this is the l.a. bowl, we drew up some things, maybe i should pitch them to you. >> i kind of made these up with my design. >> jimmy: even better. >> we have a couple to show you. >> jimmy: excellent. >> this first guy, he's an everyman, and he's a unifier, bringing everybody together. so there he is. >> jimmy: interesting. what is he? >> he's a fantasy character. >> jimmy: so you can have sex with him. >> not that type of fantasy. >> jimmy: it's not like a furry thing? [ laughter ] >> this next guy -- >> jimmy: it's a dog. like a snoop dogg, i see. we would have to give him -- he

can't wear nurse's sneakers if he's going to be a snoop dogg. >> this next one is from your family. he's italian. >> jimmy: this is supposed to be an italian dog? >> yes. this guy -- >> jimmy: like, hey! >> hey, right. this guy. >> jimmy: interesting. palm -- >> he is a palm tree. which would be interesting. >> jimmy: maybe we'll put a couple of coconuts right there. >> g-rated fun, jimmy. the last guy we have here, he's angry. people are going to be saying why? >> jimmy: what is this? >> the eagle. >> no. [ laughter ] >> you hate america? >> jimmy: no, i don't hate america. we're coming up with a new thing. >> okay, whatever. >> jimmy: anyway. i came up with some ideas, too. and i want to get your professional take on these ideas. first of all, it's a jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl, so i was thinking things about l.a.

we like smog. [ laughter and applause ] often a cloud of fit. filth. then we have -- this is an animal that is commonly around here. [ laughter ] mangy, the l.a. coyote. >> he's mangy? because he's on the streets? >> jimmy: he's mangy. he may have rabies, even. >> oh, good. >> jimmy: this is on the italian theme. this is meatball joe. you know the t-shirt guns? he shoots meatballs. >> i like that. >> jimmy: we had a couple of dogs. this is the horn dog. he's got a horn and a horn, and it kind of -- that's probably not great for kids. >> yeah. >> jimmy: more the defender of the night realm. >> he looks frightening. >> jimmy: punchy. this will be for like, you know, they get in fights, it's fun. >> yes. >> jimmy: this guy will just be punching people in the face. >> i don't know if we can use that. >> jimmy: you know garfield the cat?

this is kind of -- this is like a drunk version of him, called barfield. we would bring some kind of device so he could shoot vomit onto families. >> i'll let you deal with that. but i think it's -- >> a banana? >> jimmy: no. and this one, i think, is -- i don't know, maybe this might be my favorite. i think this one might capture it best. so this would be jimmy camel. the camel kind of looks like me, and has a hump there. >> right. i see that. i like this. >> jimmy: so here's what i think we should do. let's kind of spread these all out. we'll brainstorm a little bit. maybe combine some different elements. and then when we come back, we will reveal the official mascot for the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl. very exciting. [ laughter ]

>> easter bunny? >> jimmy: no. >> [ bleep ]! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. so dave and i hashed it out. we took some of our favorite parts of each mascot. i think we have a winner to introduce. the official mascot of the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl, please welcome the official announcer of the jimmy kimmel l.a. bowl, louis g.! go ahead. >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. standing 8'5", weighing 257 pounds, hailing from hollywood, california, by way of subsaharan africa, the dromedary, put your humps together for jimmy camel! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: oh my god, wow. oh, you're absolutely beautiful! jimmy camel! oh my goodness, wow. isn't he fantastic, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] jimmy kamel. i can't wait to see you at the big game on december 18th. we are going to take a break to mop up, but we'll be right back with jennifer aniston, ann dowd, kathryn hahn, john lithgow, n isonoln, gabrielle union, damon wayans, and kevin hart, so stick around. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

ho ho ho! not again. oh no. for the gifts you won't forget. the mercedes-benz winter event. get a credit toward your first month's payment on select models. expecting someone else? it's the all-idays, and no matter how you jingle, we've got your jammies. nice, nice. it's the naughty ones who make history. last minute gifts up to 75% off storewide. now at old navy and oldnavy.com

hi. so you're the scientist here. does my aveeno® daily moisturizer really make my dry skin healthier in one day? it's true jen. this prebiotic oat formula moisturizes to help prevent dry skin. impressive. aveeno® healthy. it's our nature.™ new daily moisture for face. six days of the week, when you steal a fry from your friend, they can say, "hey, i paid for those." but on free fries friday, they can't. free fries friday at mcdonald's. ♪ ba da ba ba ba. ♪ ♪ fresh flavors... classic dishes... ♪ and a new seat at the table. ♪

nyquil severe gives you powerful relief for your worst cold and flu symptoms, and a new seat at the table. on sunday night and every night. nyquil severe. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, best sleep with a cold, medicine. superpowers from a spider bite? i could use some help showing the world how liberty mutual customizes their car insurance. ow! i'm ok! only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ only in theaters december 17th. cheez-it snap'd! they're on a mission to save every sandwich from a boring bag of chips. noooo! sandwiches meet your cheesy, thin, crispy cheez-it snap'd savior. so cheesy! so cheesy. cheez-it snap'd. level up your lunch. goodbye chippies get your last-minute gifts right now at kohl's... level up your lunch. and take an extra 20% off! save on the fitbit versa 3... get up to 50% off toys... silver jewelry gifts for $17.59... and, earn kohl's cash!

kohl's. this is your home. this is your family room slash gym. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪

>> jimmy: tonight, his new film is called "nightmare alley." his last film won best picture at the academy awards. the pride of mexico, guillermo del toro is with us. [ cheers and applause ] one of my two favorite guillermos. then later from australia, her album is called "things take time, take time." music from courtney barnett on the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] this week we've got new shows with will forte, chrissy teigen, rob mcelhenney, lily collins, and music from sting, amine, and isaiah rashad featuring sza. tuesday, that's tomorrow, j.b. smoove will be my best host while i team up once again with

the legendary norman lear and the casts you are about to meet. our first guests account for 30 emmys, 2 tonys, 2 grammys, and 1 tootie. tomorrow night here on abc, they will breathe new life into two classic comedy shows. joining us now from the era of rabbit-ear antennas, the cast of "live in front of a studio audience," jennifer aniston, ann dowd, kathryn hahn, kevin hart, john lithgow, jon stewart, allison tolman, gabrielle union, and damon wayans, the stars of "diff'rent strokes" and "the facts of life." [ cheers and applause ] hi, guys, how is it going? >> hey. >> hello! >> hi, there. >> hello. >> you're doing great, jimmy! >> hey, jimmy! >> hi! >> jimmy: i feel like i caught you doing something. why is everyone looking at a different camera? [ laughter ] >> we don't know what we're doing. >> we're live, jimmy. >> we don't know -- >> you're our producer, why aren't you here? >> jimmy: i have my second job. my second job. i want to start with kevin, if i could. kevin, in 2016, five years ago --

[ laughter ] oh, no, this show is going to be a mess. five years ago, i asked you if you would play arnold drummond, the role immortalized by gary coleman, and you said yes immediately. and now, i think it's been five years since we found an opening in your schedule, and here we are. how is it going so far, kevin? >> jimmy, as you can see, i'm having a blast. i mean, listen. this entire thing, we are so in sync, we're so pumped up. it's live. anything can happen. it's about being prepared, knowing the material, just being one. so when i tell you, jimmy, we are so locked and loaded in this thing, buddy. and i see you, i see you, so i know you see me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gabrielle, you worked with kevin many times. is he going to be able to get through this? >> not at all.

[ laughter ] >> where you looking at? my camera is over here. >> jimmy: gabrielle -- >> jimmy, i made an oopsy. i'm sorry, buddy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's okay. it's good we got this out of the way for tonight. gabrielle, when we asked you to play tooty, you did what? you called who immediately? >> kim fields. >> jimmy: the original tootie, the o.t., if you will. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: did you call to get her blessing? >> absolutely. i didn't want to mess up the legacy, you know. >> jimmy: right. >> ask she's like, oh, i was hoping it was ashanti. [ laughter ] i wanted to make sure we were on the same page. >> jimmy: jennifer, this is such an interesting story about growing up here in l.a. you went to see a taping of "facts of life" when you were a kid, right? >> i sure did. yes, i did. i was -- it was 19 -- well, it was -- i can't remember the year. but it was the episode that george clooney was in. remember? >> jimmy: oh, yeah.

he was in a few of them, quite a few of them, yeah. >> yes. i happened to see one of those. >> what happened to that guy? >> i don't know. he didn't do anything after >> it kind of petered out for him. >> jimmy: jennifer and kathryn hahn have been laughing every time you look at each other. >> i laugh at kathryn every time. >> we can't make eye contact right now. [ laughter ] >> i thought we were doing "golden girls." so that's -- i'm in a whole other show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kathryn is playing jo. everyone is disguising themselves. i think the only -- we can see gabrielle's tootie wig there. but other than that, everybody is concealing for the big reveal tomorrow night. allison, i think you're the youngest member, you and noah are the youngest members. are you guys -- you didn't really watch "facts of life" growing up. >> are we being bullied? yes. >> jimmy: who is doing most of

the bullying? >> this one. america's sweetheart. i'm just kidding. >> oh, my god. they're not here right now. who is doing the bullying. >> that's true. >> the guest stars. >> jimmy: our surprise guests are bullies. jon stewart, many people said after jon's appearance on "the nanny" in 1997, they were like, he nailed it, he should never do a sitcom again. he should go out on top, the king of all sitcoms. yet here you are doing this. why are you doing this for us, jon? >> it's money. [ laughter ] it's for the money and health insurance. as you can see, i'm not in the best shape. [ applause ] >> jimmy: do you feel comfortable -- >> i hear good things about l.a. hospitals. i'm excited to be here. [ laughter ] my character is old jew dressed as young jew. i hope that goes well for you. >> john lithgow, we got winston churchill to play mr. drummond, which is unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ]

john, i'm going to reveal a little something about what is going to happen tomorrow night. in one of the scenes, john is carrying kevin. i am going to say that it's one of the funniest things i've ever seen in my life. >> it was my idea. kevin is not quite as light as i expected. >> kevin is all muscle. >> i managed to get him across the stage and everybody laughed. so it works. >> jimmy: it really does work. >> i'm a solid 165, america. >> he's all comedy and all muscle. >> jimmy: speaking of heavy lifting, ann dowd is in both shows, playing mrs. garrett in both "facts of life" and "diff'rent strokes." [ applause ] i know you've got the babushka on there. i have to tell you something. i don't think i did tell you this.

yesterday -- you've transformed so fully into mrs. garrett that yesterday one of the people on set thought you were charlotte gray. they're like, isn't that great? i had to explain she passed away three years ago. >> oh, i paid that audience member to say that. very kind. >> jimmy: i can't wait for people to see you and how much you sound like mrs. garrett. i mean, it's unbelievable. last but not least, damon wayans, who is playing willis. [ cheers and applause ] damon, did you ever imagine you would be sharing a bunk bed with kevin hart? [ laughter ] >> only in my fantasies. >> jimmy: i'm wondering who we should be most worried about, maybe -- i don't know, maybe it's damon. maybe the standards and practices people, the censors at abc, should be most concerned about homie the clown. i don't know. who is going to be most likely pto curse on the air, do we think? >> kevin. >> kevin. >> tell you the truth -- i'll tell you the truth, jimmy.

you know, your producer on this thing, you haven't been here, this is a [ bleep ] show. okay? [ laughter ] we do not feel comfortable, we're not confident that this thing is going to work. a lot of us honestly contemplated walking today. [ laughter ] we weren't going to go through with it. so i tell you, i think a lot of curse words going to come out of my mouth when my career is over after this because you got me good, jimmy, haven't seen your face one time, not one time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. that's what we have. and we are all very blessed to be working with the great norman lear on this project. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tomorrow night when is it happens. it will be live. live in front of a studio audience, "the facts of life" and "diff'rent strokes," 8:00 right here on abc. thank you all for doing this. [ cheers and applause ] i'll see you guys tomorrow night. we'll be back with guillermo del toro.

>> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by aura. all-in-one digital security. ♪

hi! ♪ we're all a local somewhere... so visit your local, and make every sunday, local bar sunday. expecting someone else? it's the all-idays,ay, and no matter how you jingle, we've got your jammies. nice, nice. it's the naughty ones who make history. last minute gifts up to 75% off storewide. now at old navy and oldnavy.com pain hits fast. so get relief fast. only tylenol rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast for fast pain relief. and now get relief without a pill with tylenol dissolve packs. relief without the water. i've been telling everyone... the secret to great teeth is having healthy gums.e packs. crest advanced gum restore. detoxifies below the gumline... and restores by helping heal gums in as little as 7 days. crest. the #1 toothpaste brand in america.

♪ ♪ ♪

it may not be music to your ears, but as long as it's music to theirs. bring the volume back to the venue with exclusive ticket access to unmissable events. one of the many reasons you're with amex platinum. hey, angie! you forgot your phone! hey lou! angie forget her phone again? yep. lou! mom said she could save up to $400 on her wireless bill by switching to xfinity internet and mobile. with nationwide 5g at no extra cost. and lou! on the most reliable network, lou! smart kid, bill... [laughs] so true. and now, the moon christmas special... gotta go! get a great offer on xfinity internet, and you'll get 12 times the speed for the same price when you add xfinity mobile. switch today. sing 2.

>> jimmy: music from courtney barnett is on the way. our next guest is an oscar-winning, monster-loving man whose latest feature is creature-free. bradley cooper and cate blanchett star in "nightmare alley." it opens in theaters december 17th. please welcome guillermo del toro. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: happy to see you. i always love seeing you. did you watch american sitcoms growing up in mexico, did you get them? >> no.

we got a lot of the crime, like "columbo," "mac mccloud." >> jimmy: really? >> "columbo" came on sometimes in europe. on a beautiful farm, we're there for a week, we just watch "columbo." [ laughter ] look, look, the sheep! let's watch the one with leonard nimoy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sad, that's something else. that's pretty great. so this movie, first of all, is so great and beautiful. it's even the ugliness in the movie is beautiful, which is -- i think a trademark of yours, in a way, right? >> yes. we've got to groom the ugliness. >> jimmy: i wonder how much, as far as the details go, are you really driving that? that seems like a tremendous amount of work. >> yeah. all the movies, that's why they have that sort of continuum in my movies, where we detail everything to the last thing.

always to character, always to story. but we start months before anyone shows up. not even production designers. we start -- yot drawings on my notebook, which then -- >> jimmy: you have the greatest notebook, which you brought. you know how much i love it. [ cheers and applause ] i love seeing this notebook. oh, that's a new one, right? >> yeah, brand new. and these are a couple of things. >> jimmy: what are we seeing here? >> this is a baby that looks like me if i shaved my beard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mind if i hold it up for the camera there? >> there is a scene in the movie where he goes into a funhouse and the face of the devil allows him to enter. this cyclone -- cyclopian baby opens the movie, closes the movie, appears in the movie. there's no monsters, but i couldn't resist the little guy. there's a lot of what they call pickled punks. >> jimmy: there's the pickled punk. he's kind of cute.

>> so cute. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who's watching him now? >> that? it's in my house. >> jimmy: he is, okay. >> i live with him. >> jimmy: do you have to change his water? >> you know what? it gets a little yellower as the days go by. [ laughter ] it's also exfoliating. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. [ laughter ] i think the last time i say you, the film had just won four oscars. you won best director and best picture. [ cheers and applause ] "the shape of water." and then when you were working on the next one, which is this one, does it fill you with anxiety, like oh, my gosh, now i have to do something that is better, that tops what i just did? >> no. i want to do something different. that i do feel. but not -- no, anxiety is not my specialty. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> is, you know -- i felt i wanted to do this because noir is a genre that is fantastic. although it's a period movie, it

always speaks about the now. and this movie does that. it speaks about -- basically it's a drama, no supernatural. it talks about truth, lies, and understanding reality. which are things we need urgently right now. >> jimmy: it's based on a book from what year? >> 1946. >> jimmy: and it still is representative of -- >> oh, yes. and this guy, the author is fantastic. if you guys are curious, google him. this is a guy that was a truth-seeker. he was in capitalism, communism, dynetics, psychological tarot, he fought in spain in the civil war.pa fascinating, fascinating. >> jimmy: there's a tarot scene in the movie. have you ever done that, fortune telling or anything like that? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: you have? >> yes. my mother is a bit of a witch. [ laughter ] in the nicest possible way. >> jimmy: my aunt chippy is one also, yeah. >> she taught me how to read the tarot during a tropical storm in

the south pacific. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. i said, okay, mom. we can't do anything, there's no cable, teach me how. >> jimmy: oh, that's why. i thought maybe it's because the elements are alive and it's the only time they could teach you to read tarot cards. >> no electricity. we had a little lantern. she's read the tarot all her life. and i said, okay, teach me. and she taught me. i was pretty good at it. something in there, i don't believe in magic as such, but there's something really interesting about the way the cards connect with you. and i got good. then i started doing readings that i didn't -- that said things i didn't want to find out. the last one i did was at the airport. >> jimmy: at the airport? >> at the airport. i was about -- >> jimmy: that seems like the worst place to do a tarot card reading. [ laughter ] >> it was, it was. my plane -- no. >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] >> i left the cards in the gate. there you go, guys. stay there. >> jimmy: you didn't like what was coming out? >> and it came true.

>> jimmy: it did? >> i don't like them at all. they're powerful. >> jimmy: what was it, the on-flight meal? [ laughter ] >> don't eat the chicken. >> jimmy: the salisbury steak will kill you! >> we'll leave it there. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll see a clip from guillermo del toro's new movie "nightmare alley." we'll be right back! ♪ ♪ you are my fire ♪ ♪ the one desire ♪ ♪ you are, you are, ♪ ♪ don't wanna hear you say... ♪ ♪ ♪ i want it that way ♪

[ best of my love by black pumas feat. sofia reyes ] target makes last minute gifting easier. ♪ shop with same day delivery, free order pickup, or free drive up and leave with your list wrapped up. order today, get it today at target. [ music ends ] with mucinex all-in-one you've got powerful relief from your worst cold and flu symptoms. so when you need to show your cold who's boss, grab mucinex all-in-one... and get back to your rhythm. ♪ the relief you need. the cash you want. welcome to allstate. where you can pay a little less and enjoy the ride a little more. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ now, get new lower auto rates with allstate.

because better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today. motrin works fast to stop pain where it starts. like those nagging headaches. uncomfortable period pains. and disruptive muscle aches. you can count on fast, effective relief with motrin. ho ho ho! you can count on fast, not again. oh no. for the gifts you won't forget. the mercedes-benz winter event. get a credit toward your first month's payment on select models.

♪ ♪ everyone has two chapters in their lives. before their first big mac and after their first big mac. trust me, they saved the best chapter for last. ♪ ba da ba ba ba. ♪ this holiday season, give your family the gift

that keeps on... going? our very own energizer bunny! energizer ultimate lithium. [snowball splat and windshield wiper] the #1 longest-lasting aa battery. with age comes more... get more with neutrogena® retinol pro plus. a powerful .05% retinol that's also gentle on skin. for wrinkles results in one week. neutrogena®. for people with skin.

so, here we are. >> oh, not me. i never drink. microphones. >> that's right. >> you recording this? >> no. my office is wired to record all analysis sessions. >> you've got a smooth line, but you run a racket, same as me. >> is that what this is? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is bradley cooper and cate blanchett in the new movie "nightmare alley." written and directed by guillermo del toro. you wrote this movie with your wife? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you got married. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> not only we married, but we survived a pechld, shooting a movie, and writing a screenplay together. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's got to be tough. who gets the final say if you guys disagree?

>> you know, unpopular as it may be, i have the tiebreaker. >> jimmy: you have to say we'll ask the director. >> yeah there's very long dinners when that happens. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you had to shut down because of the pandemic. >> yes. >> jimmy: how long were you out, like how long a break? >> six months. >> jimmy: six months. >> and it had -- it became like a surgical theater, with hundreds of people. because the first part we shot, we shot everything -- we were very wise. we shot everything with just four characters, and everything with hundreds of extras was during the pandemic. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> so we have 200 extras, we had 15,000 covid tests were done during that show. during that shoot. for example, rooney mara, toward the last week of the show, she says to me, "don't tell anyone, but i'm pregnant." and then she came back with the baby. >> jimmy: oh, wow.

>> there's a scene in the movie where bradley is chasing her through the depot station. she yells at him, goes through a door. once she's through the door, she's pregnant, she has a baby. [ laughter ] like magic. >> jimmy: is that how it works? >> yeah. and all of her baby weight came to me. [ laughter ] i don't know how that happened. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you look very youthful. >> i'm very nice as a director. all that weight, just give it to me. >> jimmy: i heard you get a lot of the stuff -- i know you get a lot of the stuff from your personal collection, but practice ebay. you go on ebay. >> i do. >> jimmy: what are the search terms that you use? >> the thing we just saw, a couple of the lights came from my ebay exploration. >> jimmy: that is the most beautiful office i've ever seen. >> we designed it to be like the character. she's a formidable character in the movie, cate blanchett, so everything is hidden. all the secret doors. she's a psychologist, so everything in the wood looks like a psychological blot test.

that is from there, from my ebay excursions. all the cash money in the movie i bought on ebay. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. all his props that he carries from the beginning are from ebay. chewing gum machines. i got, unfortunately, a scale. [ laughter ] and used it. >> jimmy: do you ever sell stuff on ebay? >> when ebay started, i was selling things. i did it different times. i had already been working on, you know, "blade two" and "hell boy." i sold like 80, 90 laser discs to a guy in l.a. we were in texas. i said, this is a lot of shipping and handling. so i carried it myself, did you order this? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you delivered it to him? >> he goes, didn't you do a movie? i said, yeah. >> jimmy: very full service. so this novel, there are -- you have a little quiz for me, is that correct? >> well, yeah. part of the way we broke down

the novel, we broke it down together, kim and myself. and we -- the novel is full of great slang. and i was wondering, the slang in the '30s and '40s is very different from the way we talk. so i prepared a little test for you. to see. i have five cards here. pick one. >> jimmy: like tarot, okay. >> you'll have to read because of my accent. >> jimmy: so i have to figure out what this means? >> yes. >> jimmy: this says, that cluck was bumping gums with me at the clam bake. i would guess that was kissing. >> no. talking. >> jimmy: bumping gums is talking? >> is talking. >> jimmy: really. all right. >> clam bake? what is clam bake? >> jimmy: a clam bake? i don't know, elvis? >> a party. >> jimmy: all right. in a fish and soup, he looked real kippy. okay, so maybe kippy is a kipper? a fish in soup -- is that well

dressed? >> yes! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i guessed that. >> here we go. >> jimmy: it's all eggs and coffee since the shooflies scrammed. all eggs and coffee -- maybe the kids left? >> no. >> jimmy: what? >> eggs and coffee means it's all great. shooflies is police. >> jimmy: oh, police. >> i give you a really nice one. this is really nice. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. to get some duds, i need do, ray, me and the grouch back. to get some duds, duds are clothes, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i need do re me and the grouch bag. the grouch bag, maybe is a wallet or a purse? >> yes! >> jimmy: and the do, re, me is money. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my god! this is too easy. i'm going to stop there. guillermo del toro.

"nightmare alley" december 17th at the movies. be right back with courteney barnett. to severe crohn's derate or ulcerative colitis, stelara® can provide relief, and is the first approved medication to reduce inflammation on and below the surface of the intestine in uc. you, getting on that flight? back off, uc! stelara® may increase your risk of infections, some serious, and cancer. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, sores, new skin growths, have had cancer, or if you need a vaccine. pres, a rare, potentially fatal brain condition, may be possible. some serious allergic reactions and lung inflammation can occur. lasting remission can start with stelara®. janssen can help you explore cost support options. ♪“i got you babe” by etta james♪ ♪ get groceries, gifts, & more fast and easy. so last minute guests

are the only thing you'll be waiting on. ♪ joy. fully. ♪ ♪ ♪ what's going on...? jake from state farm! the perp just confessed. i think... i don't know. uh... what? oh, i can't afford streaming anymore. so... (shooing a pigeon that landed next to her) here we are. don't give up what you love. state farm has options to personalize your policies, so you get a rate that fits your budget. oh, that's great. (annoyed, to neighbor) cause subtitles would be nice! for surprisingly great rates that fit any budget... like a good neighbor, state farm is there. call or click to get a quote today. ♪ ♪ expecting someone else? it's the all-idays, ♪ and no matter how you jingle, we've got your jammies. nice, nice.

it's the naughty ones who make history. last minute gifts up to 75% off storewide. now at old navy and oldnavy.com cheez-it snap'd! they're on a mission to save every sandwich from a boring bag of chips. noooo! sandwiches meet your cheesy, thin, crispy cheez-it snap'd savior. so cheesy! so cheesy. cheez-it snap'd. level up your lunch. goodbye chippies this is your home. this is your family room slash gym. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the ride of your life is closer than you think. for the first time ever, buy your new car entirely from home with nissan@home. delivered direct from dealer to driveway. ♪ get your last-minute gifts right now at kohl's... delivered direct from dealer to driveway. and take an extra 20% off! save on the fitbit versa 3... get up to 50% off toys... silver jewelry gifts for $17.59... and, earn kohl's cash! kohl's.

>> announcer: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: all right. her album is called "things take time, take time." here with the song "if i don't hear from you tonight," courtney barnett! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ stars in the sky are gonna die eventually, it's fine ♪ ♪ just like a lonely satellite drifting for a little while ♪ ♪ and it's so quiet outside with this curfew lullaby is now an okay time to tell you that i like you? ♪ ♪ i wait for your reply wait for

your reply ♪ ♪ if i don't hear from you tonight if i don't hear from you tonight ♪ ♪ well i swear i'll never mention this ever again ♪ ♪ but now that i got your attention i don't wanna bore the brains outta your head ♪ ♪ all my fears collided when our mutual friend confided in me ♪ ♪ that there's a ninety-nine percent chance that it's requited ♪ ♪ i read my bible left to right i fantasize i'm by your side ♪ ♪ i lay awake and wonder why i

pray for rain and angels cry ♪ ♪ if i don't hear from you tonight if i don't hear from you tonight ♪ ♪ babe i need reminding i got feelings too and i try my best to hide them ♪ ♪ but i don't want to hide anything from you ♪ ♪ stars in the sky are gonna die eventually, it's fine ♪ ♪ you know that every morning i'm rising with you on my mind ♪ ♪ if loving you is a crime then give me those front-page headlines ♪ ♪ across the country and worldwide singing i won't give ♪

♪ if i don't hear from you tonight i know you probably closed your eyes ♪ ♪ and everything will be alright if i don't hear from you tonight ♪ ♪ if i don't hear from you tonight if i don't hear from you tonight ♪ ♪ if i don't hear from you tonight if i don't hear from you tonight ♪ >> announcer: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

hey, angie! you forgot your phone! hey lou! angie forget her phone again? yep. lou! mom said she could save up to $400 on her wireless bill by switching to xfinity internet and mobile. with nationwide 5g at no extra cost. and lou! on the most reliable network, lou! smart kid, bill... [laughs] so true. and now, the moon christmas special... gotta go! get a great offer on xfinity internet, and you'll get 12 times the speed for the same price when you add xfinity mobile. switch today. sing 2.

>> jimmy: i want to thank the casts of "diff'rent strokes" and "the facts of life." watch us live tomorrow night. thanks to guillermo del toro and courtney barnett. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, jb smoove will host with guests chrissy teigen and amine. please shower him with the praise you'd normally have for me. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching. good night.

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, president biden, the high stakes as omicron cases surge, going one on one exclusively with our david muir. >> the vice president said in recent days that you didn't see delta coming, you didn't see omicron coming. how did you get it wrong? >> how did i get it wrong? nobody saw it coming. >> drilling down on whether the u.s. is considering additional boosters. >> it remains a possibility. >> and will he run again? >> if that means a rematch against donald trump? >> you're trying to tempt me now. plus, santa's shortage. our friend whoopi goldberg brings us a holiday tale from just south of the north pole. >> what's on your christmas

list