we appreciate all of your time. >> jimmy: hi. before we start the show, before the audience shows up, i wanted to say a few words about bob saget. if you read anything about bob online last night, if you saw any of the many thoughts from people who knew him personally, a word that came up a lot was "the sweetest." and bob was the sweetest. he was the sweetest man. and the reason people wrote that is because it's true. it's the best word. if you had to pick one word to describe him, that was it. sweetest. i have so many wonderfully kind and supportive texts and e-mails, calls from bob. he always had a compliment. he would write sometimes just to tell me he loved me. and i know he did that for many people. he was so funny.

and i'm not talking about "full house" or "america's funniest home videos" or stand-up comedy or movies. i mean funny for real. like when you walked into a party, you saw bob and his wife kelly in the corner, you'd go straight to them and stay for as long as you could because he had something funny to say about everything and nothing bad to say about anyone. never. if there were people he didn't like, he kept it to himself. he was -- unlike me he was a good person. bob lost his sister andrea to a brain aneurysm and his sister gay to a disease called scleroderma. it just so happened that bob had been doing fundraisers to fight scleroderma three years before his sister got it. it's a rare disease and it was a freak thing. when gay was diagnosed, bob later joined the board of directors for the scleroderma research foundation. he hosted and booked fund-raisers every year up until last year. we did many of them together.

he was very committed to finding a cure for this incurable disease that took his sister's life. and i know that if you want to remember him there's nothing he would appreciate more than if you support srf. you can go to their website and take a look at what they do there. so last night i was going through e-mails with bob, and some of them were just funny but some were very serious e-mails about life and the well-being of our children and how hard it is to appreciate one of those without the other being just right. and one e-mail we were talking about our kids and i have it here. he wrote, "one night soon let's go out and have some meat and some good [ muted ] drinks and talk about how lucky we are that we have them." and we did do that. many times. when my son was in the hospital, bob checked in a lot. so i want to send love to his

daughters, to his wife, kelly, and to his friends, who loved him so much. he was very kind to everyone. and he had no problem telling you that he loved you and what you meant to him. in 2017, after our mutual friend don rickles died, bob and john stamos, who were beyond friends, they were brothers. they are brothers. they were like this. bob was the tall one. he was the middle finger. bob and john joined me on the show to eulogize don, to tell stories about him and how much we were going to miss him. we never imagined that 4 1/2 years later we'd be talking about -- i'm sorry, i taped this like 14 times and i just -- anyway, we had a beautiful conversation that night. you could see when john and bob were talking about how much they

loved don, how much they loved each other. and so i thought it might be nice before we go on with the show, regular show, to share just a bit of that one more time as we remember bob. >> i never thought we'd be friends this long. [ laughter ] my god. for the first four years we worked together we weren't like besties. you were bringing all the hot women in the world to the show. you had a mullet. you were uncle jesse. i was a married guy and living in the palisades. i didn't know what the hell was going on. you were getting action all the time. i was trying to write jokes at night. >> you were as don would call you, a whiny jew. >> jimmy: you guys are going to end up like the old guys on the muppets. >> i hope that happens. >> i hope so too. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: john stamos, bob saget, everybody. >> jimmy: we love you, bob. and we'll be right back. >> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by kinder bueno. kinder bueno. ding-ding.

it's crispy. it's creamy. woooow... ahh! enjoy the ride. ♪ it's kinder bueno! smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer, creamy hazelnut filling. it's not your average chocolate bar. it's kinder bueno. [doorbell] ♪ [gasps] is that throw..? imported from portugal. got it at marshalls for a total steal! nice! thanks. ♪ you have all the ingredients for this in your fridge but ask yourself this... of all the times you've made it at home... has it ever tasted like our mcmuffin? ♪ba da ba ba ba.♪ ♪prodigies♪ ♪party♪

♪lobby♪ ♪join us♪ ♪sorry♪ ♪i'm dazzling, shining 24/7♪ ♪clouds rolling♪ ♪is this heaven?♪ ♪i be like sheesh♪ ♪sunset on the beach♪ ♪make me want to pull up on miami with the heat♪ ♪i don't know 'bout you♪ the first-ever corolla cross. ♪ toyota. let's go places. my plaque psoriasis... ...the itching... ♪ the burning. the stinging. my skin was no longer mine. my psoriatic arthritis, made my joints stiff, swollen... painful. emerge tremfyant®. with tremfya®, adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis... ...can uncover clearer skin and improve symptoms at 16 weeks. tremfya® is the only medication of its kind also approved for adults with active psoriatic arthritis. serious allergic reactions may occur. tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them.

tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. emerge tremfyant® with tremfya®... ask you doctor about tremfya® today. i'm those fries you've been craving. i'm hot. i'm steamy. and oh man, do i smell delicious. i'm calling your name. doug... doug. and if you don't have the right auto insurance coverage, paying for these repairs may be tough to swallow. get allstate and be better protected from mayhem for a whole lot less. how did panera come up with the idea get allstate and be better p to combine theirhem famous mac and cheese with their iconic grilled cheese? by saying yes. yes to new inventions! yes to clean and fresh ingredients! and yes to living life to the flavor-fullest. panera. live your yes. now $1 delivery.

there's this feeling we chase... like someone upped the brightness on the entire world. like your body is super-charged, but your mind is super calm. it feels like 20/20 vision for your whole being. and we'll chase this feeling, until we can feel it... one. more. time. feel the hydrow high. this is your home. this is your family room slash gym. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪

>> announcer: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, steve harvey! the bachelor clayton echard! and music from milky chance. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. hi there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. happy new year. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] it's good to be back. we were supposed to be back last week. we got an extra week off unwillingly because of the omicron variant last week. it mowed through our staff. no one had a mask on halfway today. there were no nostrils peeking out. everyone came to work like they were part of the cleanup team at chernobyl. it was serious. [ laughter ]

it's bad here in l.a. everyone has it. covid is like the new kombucha here now. [ laughter ] by the way, for those of you watching at home if you're wondering what kind of lunatics would voluntarily sit in the audience at a tv show in the middle of all this? let's turn the cameras around. [ cheers and applause ] there they are. these lunatics. 100 crazy people. i honestly have no idea how i haven't been infected with this. i'm starting to feel like i felt before i lost my virginity. [ laughter ] everyone else had. and i know i probably will eventually. and when i finally do i hope it goes as fast as losing my virginity did. [ laughter ] speaking of viruses and virginity there's a new season of "the bachelor" under way. [ cheers and applause ] tonight the bachelor clayton, his journey makes a stop on our show tonight. he's backstage being handsome right now. clayton echard is a former football player. i don't know why they're all former football players now.

why didn't i ever see any of these football players play football? [ laughter ] but there was some early season drama tonight involving one of the ladies on the show, a gal named cassidy, who made the ultimate bachelor mistake, which is forgetting that you cannot trust anyone in the house and you have a mike on. >> there's one guy that i've been hooking up with on and off for a while. he's a few years younger. he face-timed me while i was at the hotel and i told him i was about to leave for filming, i couldn't tell him what for, blah, blah, blah. oh, my god, on that face-time he was like, well, whatever the show it is you're on i can't wait for you to get back. let's watch it together. >> hi! >> jimmy: should i say too much about the guy i'm planning to have sex with while i watch this? of course the woman cassidy shared that with went right to clayton with it. so clayton, who had already given cassidy a rose, had to go to the host, jesse palmer, to get an official review on the play. >> hey, man. >> hi, jesse. >> what's going on? >> question for you. weird question.

but has anyone ever taken a rose back before? ♪ >> jimmy: whoa. heavy, right? the answer, by the way, is yes, they have. but why would he even need to take it back? it's not like you're getting a refund on it. just kick her off the show next week. this is why they need me to step in there. i could totally ruin the show. i really could. [ laughter ] anyway, clayton is with us. steve harvey is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] last night they held the golden globes ceremony. sort of. the globes were not televised this year. there's no audience. there was no red carpet. and there was no show because no celebrities agreed to be a part of it. that's how radioactive the hollywood foreign press association has become. they were handing out golden trophies and no actor in hollywood would take one. that's like birds not flying south for the winter. it's unheard of. [ laughter ] the reason the globes were a no go this year is because among other things it was revealed that the hollywood foreign press, which was a phony and corrupt organization in the

first place, didn't have a single black member. 84 members, zero of them were black. it was like a flag day party at mar-a-lago. lfsh lfr [ laughter ] so instead of the show they had to announce winners on twitter. even that didn't go well. "west side story" wins best picture musical or comedy. the globes tweeted if laughter is the best medicine west side is the cure for what ails you. congrats on the golden globe. p now, i saw "west side story." it's a very good movie. not one funny moment in it, not a comedy. [ laughter ] so instead of just saying we're dumb we're moving on they delete that post and replace it with this. "if music is the best medicine west side is the movie that's the cure." which doesn't even make sense because no one's ever said music is the best medicine. it's not a phrase. it's like saying, well, you know what they say, if you can't beat 'em, eat 'em. it's not a thing. so good going, golden globes. [ cheers and applause ]

and the grammy awards show is postponed because of covid. millions of americans won't get vaccinated. at this point i think they just can't admit that they weren't right. you know, in canada the biden administration should look into this, in canada our neighbors to the north in quebec seem to have figured out how to incentivize their stubborn stevens who refuse to get the shot. >> starting january 18th quebec will require a vaccine passport to enter all liquor in canada stores in an effort to keep omicron from spreading. first dose appointments have now increased from 1,500 per day to 6,000. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's significant. i think maybe pfizer needs to come out with some gummies and a hard lemonade. [ laughter ] this surge in covid here in the united states has led to a shortage of at-home tests. here in l.a. over the holiday you couldn't find these tests. i turned into nicolas cage in a hidden "national treasure" movie. the tuesday before christmas i went to nine cvss.

is that the plural of cvs? cvss? cvis. i don't know. i went to nine of them. [ laughter ] and between the nine stores i got 12 tests so i could test my family before dinner christmas eve. then we canceled christmas eve. so if you want to buy a covid test i'm selling 12. $800 apiece, by the way. the real at-home test for covid is being stuck in the house with your children for 18 months. but of course there are all sorts of new crazy miracle cures and remedies. this is the latest. this is from an anti-vaxxhole named christopher key who -- this guy posted a clip of himself on telegram over the weekend to tout the benefits of his all-natural covid killer. >> the antidote that we've seen now and we have tons and tons of research is urine therapy. okay? and i know a lot of you -- a lot of you this sounds crazy. but guys, god's given us everything we need.

okay? i'm not a medical doctor. i'm not telling anybody to drink their own urine. but i drink my own urine. i've drunk my own urine for the last 23 years and i'm still alive. and i drink bleach. not bleach. i drink chloric dioxide. >> jimmy: by the way, if this guy's kids ever serve up lemonade at a stand in your neighborhood run. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he calls it urine therapy. it's actually one conspiracy theory i'm okay with. if you think vaccines are created by the devil or george soros or bill gates, go right ahead, pee in a mason jar and chug along with dr. dumbass. i don't know. [ laughter ] let's look at hem one more time. yeah, that's a guy who drinks his own pee. by the way, he posted that video after being released from jail on a trespassing charge. he was arrested for trespassing at a whole foods. how do you trespass at a whole foods? they're open 24 hours. i feel like i could push a cart around a whole foods for a year and no one would say a word. so christopher key, who now calls himself the vaccine

police. that's his costume. he's got a little badge. he announced that in february he's planning to arrest the governor of louisiana. he's been driving around the country living out of a rental car threatening to arrest state officials and execute pharmacists over these vaccine mandates. in2013 "sports illustrated" ran a story about a supplement scam where he and his business partner, who's a former male stripper, sold hologram stickers to professional athletes you'd stick on your chest before the game to help your heart have so much more energy. they also sold something called negatively charged water which he claimed would adhere like a magnet to your body's cells. these anti-vaxxers, they're like kids. they love magnets and stickers. they don't know how they work. [ laughter ] he sells this stuff on his website. you can buy a bag of apricot seeds on his website for $32.99. or a bag of apricots for $6 at the store. and he sells something he calls deer antler spray, which they say is a miraculous growth hormone made from deer antlers

and has some very reputable celebrity spokespeople. mario lopez, frank stallone, and this guy. >> hi, everybody. it's me guillermo from "jimmy kimmel live" show. i just want to give a big shout out to nutonic labs. i really like this. since i've been using it i feel better, i feel younger, i have more energy. i even help my wife in the house. that's right. thank you nutronic lab for changing my life. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: that was like 14 years ago. >> jimmy: that was 14 years ago? >> guillermo: or like maybe 10. >> jimmy: it said it was 2019 on the thing. >> guillermo: no. it was not 2019. a long time ago. >> jimmy: they paid you to do that? >> guillermo: yeah, they paid me. >> jimmy: and then you used my name in that commercial? >> guillermo: uh. [ laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: did you use that stuff? >> guillermo: no, i don't use it. >> jimmy: it didn't make you feel younger?

>> guillermo: no, nothing. >> jimmy: you don't help your wife with housework now? >> guillermo: no, i do help her with that. i don't think that thing -- but i help my wife with everything. >> jimmy: we'll have a meeting after the show you and i. [ laughter ] we start digging into this guy and all of a sudden my name is on the website. thanks to snake oil sam over here. [ cheers and applause ] happy new year, guillermo. >> guillermo: happy new year, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, there's so much stuff to sell to these anti-vaxxers. and the folks at mattel are no dummies. they made a mint over christmas with a twist on what is probably america's all-time favorite doll. >> there's a new doll in town. and the fun is contagious. it's anti-vaxx barbie. she's strong. she's independent. she doesn't trust science. >> bill gates is the antichrist.

>> vaccines are satan's blood. [ giggling ] >> barbie comes with a computer so she can do her own research. >> it says here moderna turns your teeth jewish. >> take your barbie everywhere. shopping. >> i'm sorry, you can't come in here without a mask. >> i have a medical condition! uh! uh! >> i'm recording this, bitch and you're going to jail. >> thank you for sharing your medicine, dancer. >> and on the plane. >> and the only mandate this barbie cares about is with her proud boyfriend ken. >> hi, ken. want to go throw eggs at nurses? >> sorry, babe, i can't hear you. alex jones is talking about monoclonal anti-blotters. >> anti-vaxx barbie, exclusively available in florida and kentucky. barbie dream ventilator sold separately. >> available at walgreen's. >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight. we have music from milky chance. the bachelor clayton is here. and we'll be right back with steve harvey. so stick around.

[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by verizon. go to verizon.com/5g to watch the verizon 5g ultra show now. it's time to put the win in winter at dunkin'. h... ...with notes of gingersnap. take on the day with dunkin'. enjoy a medium hot or iced winter blend coffee for $2. america runs on dunkin'.

this is your home. this is your family room slash gym. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed.

the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪ new year, new start. and now comcast business fin is making it easyo app. to get going with the ready. set. save. sale. get started with fast and reliable internet and voice for $64.99 a month with a 2-year price guarantee. it's easy... with flexible installation and backing from an expert team, 24/7. and for even more value, ask how to get up to a $500 prepaid card. get a great deal for your business with the ready. set. save. sale today. comcast business. powering possibilities.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, from "the bachelor" which has been airing for 47 years here on abc, the bachelor himself, clayton echard is here. then later, a duo from germany just like siegfried & roy! their latest single is titled "colorado." milky chance, from the

mercedes-benz stage. this week, we've got all new shows with wonderful guests including peter dinklage, david spade, ann dowd, and jim gaffigan. we'll have music from ryan hurd, jay wheeler and oliver tree. so please join us for all that. i has long been said that justice is blind and now, we know it is bald too. our first guest is a shining beacon of authority in his new show "judge steve harvey." you can watch it tuesday nights here on abc. all rise for the honorable steve harvey. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ look at this. >> look at that. you've got an audience, man. >> jimmy: this is quite a style change for you.

i don't think i've ever seen you dressed like that. >> let all that go for a while. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: you realize those are just more germs coming at us, right? >> it's okay. they got their masks on. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm taking everything. i got -- i got vaccines. i got the booster. i'm taking oral vaccines. i'm doing everything. >> jimmy: oral vaccines? >> i can't get covid, though. >> jimmy: no? >> no. i ate chitlins for 40 years. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're saying you literally can't get it. >> i can't get it. i have some stuff in my system that will eat covid's ass alive. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. that's good. wow. i think i can see your nipple right now. [ laughter ] >> don't do that.

don't do that. it ain't that type of show. >> jimmy: steve -- >> i'm just excited to have a live audience. >> jimmy: i'm excited to see a person. i am. [ cheers and applause ] i've been in the house for three weeks. >> yeah. >> jimmy: by the way, were you friendly with bob saget? he's somebody you knew, right? >> yeah. we were at shows together on television. we used to do press junkets, man. it's crazy because the dude that you see on tv, that's not who that was. >> jimmy: not at all. >> the father on "full house," now, this is a different dude off stage. we both were. you know, when we would see each other off stage we would just cuss each other out. he was an interesting guy. what's crazy, man, my staff just told me today, he just e-mailed me two days ago. and they read the e-mail to me this morning. and he wanted me to come do this new podcast he had, man. and he really respected the

moral stances that i take and he he was just talking about all the good times we had. and they read the e-mail to me. so it was a little hard today. he was a great dude, man. >> jimmy: it's hard for me too because he didn't ask me to do his podcast. i'm realizing now that he only respected your moral stance. >> this is not a tribute, jimmy. you don't do the tribute and slam the dude at the same time. >> jimmy: no, i would never slam bob. but bob had the darkest sense of humor of any nice person i ever met. >> it was shocking. >> jimmy: shocking dark, yeah. and not just profane but also very twisted. and very fun to experience. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, you know what? you're turning -- what? you have a big birthday coming up next week. >> 65. >> jimmy: 65 years old. that's a milestone. that's like a big party type of thing. are you going to have a party? >> well, yeah. i think so. my wife has got something

planned. she's really not telling me what it is. that's how i know it's expensive. [ laughter ] because she knows i'll shut it down because i'm the practical one in the family. my wife doesn't practice practicality. she don't know what that is. i don't know what the hell is wrong with her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't you think there needs to be some balance, though, if you're very practical somebody has to bring some fun into the -- i mean, really. >> that's it, though. you know what i mean? she's the fun part of my life. i know my job. i know what my job is. i'm an earner. i make -- i go and make the stuff. i provide the money. she does -- sprinkles all the dust. all the happy stuff for christmas. we have reindeer at the house. who does that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for real? >> nobody do reindeer. we're black. what are you doing? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you were a kid, was there a gift like a christmas gift that you really wanted that you could not get because your parents -- >> yeah. i'll give you a prime example.

my daughter. my youngest daughter. she comes to me and goes, dad, i want to start riding horses. so guess what? we have a different life. i buy my daughter two horses. she's an equestrian rider. i buy her two horses. i asked my father for a pony one year. about 9 years old. i asked my daddy for a pony. he told me go outside and put some hair on that bike. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's a big difference now. and i actually got one of my mama's bathroom rugs and took it outside and taped it around the bars on the bike to make it look like fur. now i don't get the pony and i got an ass whooping. [ laughter ]

i got one of the worst ass whoopings i ever got, man. >> jimmy: are you a billionaire yet, steve? you've got to be a billionaire. i'm trying to add it all up. >> well, if i was a billionaire, i wouldn't be on your show. [ laughter ] i promise you, the day i get a billion dollars i don't give a damn what you got on, family feud, facebook, this new judge show. i ain't going to be on it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break right now with steve harvey. he's not a billionaire, but he will be soon. especially if you watch "judge steve harvey" here on abc. we'll be right back with that. and more steve. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ making your way in the world today♪ ♪takes everything you've got♪ ♪ ♪taking a break a your worries♪

♪ ♪wouldn't you like to get away?♪ ♪ ♪sometimes you want to go♪ ♪where everybody knows your name♪ ♪and they're always glad you came♪ ♪ ♪you want to be where you can see♪ ♪our troubles are all the same♪ ♪you want to be where everybody knows your name♪ ♪ ♪ you want to go where people know♪ ♪people are all the same♪ ♪you want to go where everybody knows your name♪ ♪

[doorbell] ♪ [gasps] is that throw..? imported from portugal. got it at marshalls for a total steal! nice! thanks. ♪ nyquil severe gives you powerful relief for your worst cold and flu symptoms, thanks. on sunday night and every night. nyquil severe. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, best sleep with a cold, medicine. facing leaks takes strength.

so here's to the strong, who trust in our performance and comfortable long-lasting protection. because your strength is supported by ours. depend. the only thing stronger than us, is you. get ready. it's time for the savings event of the year. the homeandautobundle xtravafestasaveathon! at this homeandautobundle xtravafestasaveathon, there's no telling what we might bundle! homeandautobundle xtravafestasaveathon! bundle cars, trucks, colonials, bungalows, and that weird hut your uncle lives in. so strike up the homeandautobundl raad for the deal that started forever ago and will probably never end. no one's leaving till you say it right. homeandauto...

♪ (peaceful music) ♪ no one's leaving till you say it right. ♪ ♪ (battle sounds from phone) ♪ ♪ (battle sounds stop) ♪ ♪ (dragon roar from phone) ♪ ♪ if you're always asking, "where next?" capital one has a new class of travel card for you. venture x. earn 10x miles on hotels and 5x miles on flights booked through capital one travel. venture x. what's in your wallet?

there's this feeling we chase... like someone upped the brightness on the entire world. a full-body endorphin rush we'll chase again and again. feel the hydrow high. do you have a phone camera? wait. wait. i've got to do this right here. take a picture with me and him. thank you. that's all i wanted. >> can we get a picture too? >> no, no, no. i've got to have that picture. because you're the stupidest dude i've ever met. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's steve harvey and "judge steve harvey" -- i have to tell you something. i'm not blowing any smoke up your ass here. i would watch you do almost

anything. so this is such a great setup for you. but i do have one bone to pick, and that's this. you're judge steve harvey. why are you not wearing a robe? you're a judge. >> everybody in here know i ain't no damn judge. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you got the -- you have the gavel. you've got the bailiff. you know, it's like being a park ranger but you don't wear the hat. you have to wear the hat. no? >> what? [ laughter ] no, man, i think it would show like a disrespect and a disservice to the profession. you know, i've got a high school diploma, dog. i mean, that's pretty much it. you know, i just went on and i wanted to become a judge. everybody asked me. so what made you think you could become a judge? i said, well, [ bleep ]. donald trump was president. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right.

you know, i do a thing here on this show where i will rule on cases so much, and i get just a feeling of power even though they're small claims type situations. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that i really enjoy. >> i do too, man. but it's like -- like these are real people and real cases and they sign an affidavit and whatever i rule that's what it is. like that guy that was on the clip you showed. i wanted to take a picture with him because this is really like the stupidest dude i ever met. [ laughter ] he took his -- he took the woman he sleeps with to court. even if you win, how you think this is going to work out for you? [ laughter ] i said, this is the stupidest dude i've ever met. and abc had a little talk with me afterwards because you know, steve, it's not politically correct to call anybody stupid. >> jimmy: oh. is that right? >> well, okay. well, what is he? [ laughter ]

you take your wife to court on tv. that's not stupid to you? [ laughter ] so we were having a little struggle with the political correctness. >> jimmy: do you watch "the bachelor" on abc? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you think a young single steve harvey, how would you handle dating 31 women at once? on television. yeah. >> you know how many illnesses i would have right now? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you wouldn't hold back. you wouldn't be looking for love. >> bro, i know the dude is here, and i didn't get to see him back there. but if he looks like the rest of them, they have these tall chiseled -- you know, the jaw lines. these dudes -- >> jimmy: that's him. >> -- are gorgeous. >> jimmy: yeah. >> what really fine man is

having trouble finding a woman? look, my cousin is a mailman in d.c. he's horribly unattractive. [ laughter ] but because he brings checks by once a month he got 36 women on his route. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, maybe he should be the bachelor. wow. yeah. it's -- i think it's an interesting dynamic for sure. how long have you been married now? >> 15 years. >> jimmy: 15 years. what was your first -- [ applause ] you didn't meet on a reality tv show. >> no, we met in a comedy club. >> jimmy: you met at a comedy club. >> she came in late. and this was almost 20-some years ago. this was -- no.

30 years ago. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> i met her when i was like 32 years old. and she walked in the comedy club late and she was the most -- i've never seen a chick that fine before. and i looked at her, and i stopped the show, and everybody was looking and the first words i said to her and this is the honest to god truth. i said, "i don't know who you are but i'm going to marry you one day." everybody busted out laughing. and that was like in '89. i married her in 2005. we both got married. we both had marriages and both had children at the same time. and i saw her again in 2005 and that was it. and i married her ass. [ applause ] that's a true story, man. >> jimmy: "i married her ass" would be a great show too. [ laughter ] >> yeah. we should co-produce that. >> jimmy: i would love to be part of that.

>> "i married her ass." and you never see her face. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: steve harvey, everybody. watch "judge steve harvey" tuesday nights on abc. and the next day on hulu. we'll be back with the bachelor, clayton. ♪ for people living with h-i-v, keep being you. and ask your doctor about biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in certain adults. it's not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to and stay undetectable. that's when the amount of virus is so low it cannot be measured by a lab test. research shows people who take h-i-v treatment every day and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit h-i-v through sex. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. rare, life-threatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding,

or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. if you're living with hiv, keep loving who you are. and ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. you are an electric vehicle. electricity powers your heart. want to feel your heart beat faster? drive an electric car. made by a company whose evs have gone five billion miles... for every highway... every driveway... ...and every speedway. and where the loudest sound... ...is the beat of your electric heart. this is the new nissan. ( nissan mnemonic ) (avo) command products organize any space with ease... ...and without damage. this is the new nissan. command. do. no harm.

mr. clarke. your daughter is a very good kisser. when you crave the uncomfortable. try spicy pringles scorchin'. maybe we mcgriddles lovers have done a bad job of relaying this, but there are pockets... of syrupy goodness... hidden... in the mcgriddles cakes. ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪

people think unusual circumstances, means complicated taxes, but for a turbotax live expert like me, it just makes things interesting. so, give us everything you've got. what if i'm a professional gamer with a ton of expenses? ucon so, give us everything you've got. in state what if i'm a professional gamth no inco tn of expenses? ut my survival videos so, give us are vieweding you've got. i can help and if this is a business dinner, save those jerky receipts. an interesting life can mean an even greater refund. you do your thing, we've got your taxes. intuit turbotax live. with mucinex all-in-one you've got powerful relief from your worst cold and flu symptoms. so when you need to show your cold who's boss, grab mucinex all-in-one... and get back to your rhythm. ♪ the relief you need. the cash you want. [doorbell] ♪ [gasps] is that throw..? imported from portugal. got it at marshalls for a total steal! nice! thanks. ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. music from milky chance is on the way. our next guest is the newest variant of the contagious disease known as the bachelor. he is looking for love, specifically monday nights here at abc. please welcome bachelor clayton echard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i mean, you look just as steve harvey described you. [ laughter ] >> i think i missed that part. how did he describe me? >> jimmy: he described you as a very handsome, strong chin, i think he even said beautiful man. >> okay.

i've heard the chin comments, yes. quite a bit. my brothers. everybody -- i've read it all. and hey, you know what? it's a strong feature, right? that's good, i hope. >> jimmy: there's nothing negative about it. believe me, if he said you have a strong nose it might be something you raise an eyebrow -- he's got a strong nose. no, your nose is weak and your chin is strong. it's good. >> noted. thank you very much. >> jimmy: so last season on "the bachelorette" you finished what, eighth was that? >> yes. thank you for reminding me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: eighth. but i mean really, you won, right? i mean, wouldn't you rather have been the bachelor than -- i mean, you know you guys would have broke up eventually, right? that's just how it goes. >> no hope whatsoever. listen, i mean, yeah, eighth place definitely was shocked to be sitting here today. i thought i might get a little consolation prize in the mail like hey, thanks champ for showing up. and now i'm here. so -- >> jimmy: how do they tell you? do they tell new person or do

they call you? >> it was a phone call. >> jimmy: phone call. >> and i kind of thought it was like a prank call almost at that point. because i'm back home. and like hey, what do you think about being the next bachelor? i was like this is just cruel, guys, come on. why are we doing this? >> jimmy: and when that happens do you go oh, my god, now i've got to think back through my whole life? because a lot of times they'll go he said this back then or there was this girl that was mad back then or whatever. did you review your entire life? >> yes. >> jimmy: you did. yes. you can't help but do that nowadays. >> you've got to protect yourself. >> jimmy: you said you have two brothers. >> i do, yes. >> jimmy: younger brothers, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: how do they feel about this whole deal? >> oh, it was a full-on roast session when i told them. >> jimmy: it was, yeah. >> speaking of the chin comment, they were like oh, old cringe and chin about to show up on national television. that ten pounds is going straight to the chin. they were busting my chops. but at the same time i heard

pat, my youngest brother. nate's going around to all the bars in scottsdale and that's his intro line when he's talking to women. he's like, my brother's on "the bachelor." he is the bachelor. >> jimmy: how about that? >> nasty nate. that's his nickname. so anybody in scottsdale, any women, if you hear someone say that, that's nasty nate -- >> jimmy: beware of nasty nate. >> beware of nasty nate. >> jimmy: have you thought of when you get down to your final three or whatever, passing a couple of them off to your brothers? [ laughter ] i don't know if this has ever happened before but if you're there and you have to give the rose to one and not the other, you'll be like listen, you seem like a very nice woman, i'd love you to meet nasty nate. [ laughter ] >> it's definitely all about the wording, right? so if i tell them my brother nasty nate would be interested, not going to go too well. and pat the rat, that's his little nickname. pi might need to find another wy to approach that, a little bit more -- what's the word i'm

looking for? provocative or -- just a better word. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a bad idea. i just thought i'd throw it out there. [ laughter ] are you now watching the show with the person you picked? like every week, you know. >> the person i picked? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you see the stone cold face? i've been programmed well. >> jimmy: you have been trained, yeah. they tell you -- they throw scenarios at you. do they like coach you and say okay, what if he says this, what if he says this? >> yeah. i've had -- yes. a lot. every time. it's like every interview. and everybody gets a little more creative every time. they start to ask these questions where they weasel their way in and around. i had one person almost catch me on something. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> every time now i'm a little more cautious. i'm on edge. i'm ready for you. >> jimmy: now we can go back and look through and see who it was. it doesn't matter whether you tell me or not, i'm going to tell you who you chose because my wife is real good at it.

my wife has picked correctly, predicted -- and usually at the beginning of the show. we don't even usually get this far in the season. from day one she's picked 7 out of the last 9 winners correctly. okay? [ applause ] i'm going to reveal those in just a minute. for those gambling at home. okay. so you've got all these women -- how many of them did you make love to? go ahead. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i think my time here is finished. >> jimmy: all right. you want to know who my wife picked? >> yeah, let's hear it. >> jimmy: okay. here are the final four. should we have a drum roll? [ drum roll ] thank you. here we go. your top four, in no particular order. serene. elementary school teacher from oklahoma. you kissed her. and it was a long kiss. and she called it perfect. okay? teddy. she's a nurse. she seems real nice. obviously attractive.

you gave her the first impression rose. you said the spark was absolutely there. rachel. funny, blond, seems to have a good personality. rachel will be in your top two. but your number one pick according to my wife, molly. all right. enough with the drum roll. it's getting annoying. [ laughter ] is susie, the wedding photographer. videographer. >> that's her top pick? >> jimmy: that's her top pick. is that your top pick? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. >> jimmy: look at you. you're looking right at me. i think i'm falling in love with you. i don't know what's going on. [ laughter ] did somebody tell you just stare into his eyes and that way you

won't reveal anything? >> i'm hoping i put the pressure on you. >> jimmy: because you won't give away any of the things. it's like playing poker -- >> i darted them very quickly. when you were looking down. i'm playing mind games. >> jimmy: we'll let america go back and study the tape and find out -- you know, and maybe you picked none of them. i don't know. i don't know. that's part of the fun of all this. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> we love that, right? >> jimmy: but you know. seriously, how many? how many of the women did you have sex with? [ laughter ] two hands or one? just give me -- how many hands? did we get a foot in there? >> i need to plead the fifth. >> jimmy: yeah, you plead the fifth. it's good to meet you, clayton. i wish you well on this journey toward love. "the bachelor" airs monday nights here on abc. clayton echard, everybody. we'll be back with milky chance. >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert experience is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to clayton the bachelor and steve harvey. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, jim gaffigan and ann dowd will be here with music from ryan hurd. "nightline" is next, but first

with the song "colorado," milky chance! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i get high like colorado we had it all but what do i know ♪ ♪ i try to push away the sorrow♪ ♪ i'll try tomorrow yeah yeah i think that you ♪ mincene ♪ i thought that we were evergreen like a never-ending dream ♪ ♪ never been on the tv scratched me off of your cv ♪ ♪ out of your mind out of your mind never been so uneasy ♪

♪ jealousy got me freaky out of my mind so i get high ♪ ♪ like colorado we had it all but what do i know i try to push ♪ ♪ away the sorrow but today it's too late i'll try tomorrow yeah ♪ ♪ yeah i'm losing sleep all by myself ♪ ♪ i'm wide awake and i just wonder how you put my heart ♪ ♪ back on the shelf well i'ma be a loner now never been on the tv ♪ ♪ scratched me off of your cv out of your mind out of your mind ♪ ♪ never been so uneasy jealousy got me freaky out of my mind ♪ ♪ so i get high like colorado we had it all but what do i know ♪

♪ i try to push away the sorrow but today it's too late ♪ ♪ i'll try tomorrow yeah drow ♪ with my blood shot red eyes ridin' rollercoaster ♪ ♪ til i see the sunrise so i get high like colorado we had it all ♪ ♪ but what do i know i try to push away the sorrow but today ♪ ♪ it's too late i'll try tomorrow yeah ♪ ♪ i get high like colorado colorado colorado ♪ ♪ colorado colorado i get high like colorado ♪ ♪ colorado colorado colorado colorado ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, advantage djokovic. the tennis superstar wins a key battle to stay in australia. >> you're seeing emotions from every angle. you know, people are tired. >> from football to basketball. the elite athletes courting controversy with their vaccine choices. >> the pedestal that people like aaron rodgers, kyrie irving, novak djokovic are on, they can influence behavior. >> plus remembering bob saget. >> d.j., we're still a family, and now is when we really need to stick together. >> with the '90s hit "full house" that never got old he returned to his comedic roots. >> it's not about money.