tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 11, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST
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dan: we appreciate your time. right now on jimmy kimmel >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jim gaffigan. ann dowd. and music from ryan hurd. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. thank you, guys. welcome, welcome, welcome. very nice. thanks. [ cheers and applause ] oh, please, relax. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. welcome to the show. thank you for joining us in a new year, it's a new year. i don't know if you noticed but that was a different voice you heard at the start of our show. our beloved friend dicky barrett packed his tattoos up and moved to arizona.
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[ laughter ] so we have a new announcer named lou wilson. [ cheers and applause ] there's lou right there. welcome, lou. look at you, all dressed up. i've never seen lou in anything other than a t-shirt. [ laughter ] lou, is there anything you'd like to announce since you're the announcer? >> lou: i'm thrilled to be the new announcer. >> jimmy: all right. [ cheers and applause ] can you try that again but just lower, down an octave or so? >> lou: i'm thrilled to be the new announcer! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go, that's great. we pulled lou out of the writers room and put him in this wooden playpen we built for him. i feel like i'm paying tribute to you at the kennedy center honors or something. [ cheers and applause ] lou is also an actor. you were in that pete davidson movie? >> lou: yes, "king of staten island." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you played pete's friend in "king of staten island." then you dated awhile after
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that, right? >> lou: it was more a fling, you know. >> jimmy: like any professional actor, lou has professional head shots. [ cheers and applause ] that's lou right there, auditioning for the part of a rapper who doesn't use curse words. here he is playing gerald in a traveling production of "hey arnold." [ laughter and applause ] and here is lou, 40 years from now, teaching a course on television production at the learning center. [ laughter and applause ] you know, your main responsibility, as announcer, is to pronounce the names of the guests correctly. yes? >> lou: i know that, yes. >> jimmy: it's not always easy. there's some tough ones. >> jimmy: i have a few of the tough ones here if you want to give it a shot, go ahead. >> lou: ladies and gentlemen, mariska hargitay! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good, that was well done, all right. oh, good luck with this one. >> lou: people of all ages,
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chewy-atel ejiofor! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's not a wookiee, he's a person. >> lou: okay. >> jimmy: it's not chewy-atel, it's chiwetel. >> lou: oh, come on. >> jimmy: yeah. >> lou: ladies and gentlemen -- [ laughter ] uh, ladies and gentlemen -- okay. ladies and gentlemen -- soursa ronan! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, let's go a little easier. how about this one? can you do that? >> lou: yeah, i can do this one. ladies and gentlemen, julia roberts! >> jimmy: all right, very good. [ cheers and applause ] i feel like we're in very good hands. what a great time to take a job maskless in front of 150 people, right? >> lou: just shouting. this is the splash zone, i hope you all are ready, yes. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: this omicron is spreading faster than wordle. [ laughter ] according to johns hopkins
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university, the united states hit 1.4 million new cases today. which is not just a new u.s. record, a new world record. that's 300,000 cases more than the previous record, which was set last week. we have more covid than any country in the world. we also have more vehicles with truck nutz than any country in the world. [ laughter ] i feel like those are related things. you know, this graph, i found this today. it starts in january of 2020. at the end you can see that's january 10th, 2022. yesterday. either we're screwed, or bitcoin is doing great. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the cdc, they issue these travel warnings. they issued a "do not travel" warning for canada, of all places. warning us not to go to canada. canada was like, "fine with us! do not come! we were about to suggest the same thing." [ laughter ] the new bad idea floating around, people who want to get the virus, just to get it over
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with. i flirted with this idea. so much so, health officials are now urging americans not to go out and catch covid on purpose. [ laughter ] imagine, they have to tell us that? please don't intentionally give yourself a deadly disease. i haven' since the "i'm here for the herps!" campaign in the '70s. here's the thing. there are only so many doctors. and there are only so many nurses. and there are only so many hospital beds. when everyone tries to get something all at the same time, it's a disaster. did we learn nothing from the great toilet paper crisis of 2020? [ cheers and applause ] speaking of learning nothing, the governor of florida, ron desantis, delivered his annual "state of the state" speech in tallahassee today, where he took time out to recognize a local hero. >> even made enormous strides in removing invasive burmese pythons from the everglades. in the gallery today is our reigning python king, charlie
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dachton, where are you at? stand up. now, the previous year's winner netted nine pythons. charlie caught a whopping 41 pythons. >> jimmy: oh, florida. what will you cook up next? [ laughter ] this is a good one. the irs is said to be facing "enormous challenges" this tax season. which means you might have to wait for your refund. the treasury department is predicting a "frustrating season" for taxpayers. which is a shame because it's normally so homey and warm. [ laughter ] it's funny. when the irs is behind on getting our refunds to us, they take all the time they need. when we're a day late paying them they're like "and which prison would you like to go to?" [ laughter ] the irs closed out last filing season with over 35 million unprocessed returns. that's why trump never pays his
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taxes. he knows how overworked they are. it's called being considerate. [ laughter ] don't call the irs. the phone lines -- the irs currently has 15,000 employees who are responsible for handling over 240 million calls. that's 16,000 calls per worker. the current wait time to speak with a representative is 27 years. [ laughter ] but your call is very important, please stay on the line. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know how many of you watched the game tonight. we have a new college football national champion. the georgia bulldogs beat the alabama tide last night. [ cheers and applause ] their first national title in 41 years. quarterback stetson bennett, which is a great quarterback name, threw for 224 yards and a pair of touchdowns. and as a result, had to wake up early this morning to chat with the gang at "gma." >> mvp stetson bennett is joining us live. stetson, good morning, my friend. how are you feeling after that incredible performance last night? have you had a chance to get any sleep? >> no, you know, a few hours.
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not many. been wondering about -- yeah, no, not many. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: probably up all night doing homework. you know, with all the lousy things going on in the world, i thought maybe we could use a pick-me-up. and when i need a little lift, i turn to the person who is easily the nicest member of my family, that is my cousin micki. there's my cousin micki right here. [ applause ] she's like if balloons came to life. remember the other night you were at the house and i was playing the piano? >> yes, he's an adult prodigy, he learned it over the holidays, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] he always impresses me. >> jimmy: just so you know, i was pretending to play the piano. >> how? you were doing -- >> jimmy: i was doing this. and the music was programmed in. >> you! it was so good. >> jimmy: she was going bananas, i did like ten songs, it was unbelievable.
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[ applause ] yeah, at a certain point i was like, i don't have the heart to break to it her. >> and now my heart is broken. >> jimmy: did you notice my left hand was not really moving? >> no, you were just a natural, it was natural. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. >> it was so good. >> jimmy: thank you. i can still convince her that. micki is the most positive person i know, so we thought it would be fun to share some of her sunny disposition with you. and maybe even learn something practical along the way. >> hi, it's me, cousin micki. today i have another installment of "micki's tips." today i'm going to teach you -- >> how to parallel park. >> oh, no. okay. i'm going to teach you how to parallel park, apparently. >> in this humongous suv! >> all right, let's do it. okay, first things first. safety first. you put on your seat belt. you look in your rear-view mirror. then you're going to put your
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car into drive, and you inch up very closely to the car to the right of you. then you go to reverse. and you slowly turn your wheel the opposite way of the curb. then you start going back. you look in your rear-view mirror. huh. okay, wait. and sometimes you have to go up and down, up and down. just keep calm. stay calm. stay calm. and just be thankful that you have eyes to the right of your head and to the left of your head so you can be kind of in two places at once. unfortunately -- we weren't born with eyes in the back of our head, but fortunately we were born with two eyes in front of our head. you know. yeah. i mean, most people have two eyes. sadly, not judging, but some people don't.
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but i feel really extra bad for them in moments like this. i think i'm getting it. here's the thing. you're going to -- you feel like you're getting close. just -- sometimes you've just got to have faith and go for it. and you might hear like a little ding -- like a little bump. [ laughter ] but just hope for the best. and kind of -- you know, i'm going to start over. sometimes -- it doesn't mean you're giving up. it does not mean you're giving up. it just means you have to have a fresh start. in life, fresh starts are important. doesn't mean you're a loser. doesn't mean you want to quit something. you know, if you do, just do it positively. and with a smile on your face. not like you're going to get beeped out like i am right now and you say, excuse me, a few more minutes. then you have to ask yourself, is this spot worth it? [ laughter and applause ] in l.a., the spots are worth it.
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if you can find a spot, you kind of have to go for it. it does not mean you're greedy. in l.a. it's challenging. [ crash sound ] [ alarm ] okay, we made contact there. [ laughter ] but i think that will buff out. then you kind of have to regroup. regroup. now i'm kind of -- i'm kind of in a situation here. because the car's beeping in front of me. and i'm afraid that person's going to come out. [ crash sound ] now i'm kind of like in bumper cars. i am definitely in a predicament right now. [ crash sound ] there was one. now i don't want to give up because i'm teaching a lesson how not to give up. but in this moment, i kind of want to, and i'm sweating. but i'm not. and whatever the aftermath is, you just go for it. in life, there's aftermath too in every situation.
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and now here's my -- i'm going to -- i have to now double angel do the right thing or just pretend it didn't happen. when i get out, i might have to leave a note. i might have to leave a note. part of parallel parking, you hit people, you sometimes have to leave a note. people struggle with it. i think i'm done. >> you did it! >> i think i did it. the moral of the story is, keep going, back, forward. i'm thankful for everything. whoo! you guys! i parallel parked! >> thanks for the great tips, micki. >> jimmy: she's fine, she's perfectly fine. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank, micki. >> thank you for the support. >> jimmy: only $18,000 worth of damage. hey, we've got a good show for you tonight. from the new movie "mass," a very talented ann dowd is here. we have music from ryan hurd. we'll be right back with jim gaffigan, so stick around!
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feel the hydrow high. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, from the excellent new movie, it is called "mass," the always incredible ann dowd is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, he has written number one songs for blake shelton, luke bryan, lady a. his album is called pelao. ryan hurd from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] ryan is on tour starting thursday in columbus, ohio. go see him. it's really kind of sad. if you look here, moths have begun to eat his clothing.
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[ laughter ] he could use some new stuff. tomorrow night, david spade and alana haim will join us, with music from jay wheeler. and on thursday, peter dinklage, fortune feemster, and music from oliver tree. [ cheers and applause ] please join us for all of that. our first guest is an extra funny man who is a prolific creator of both comedy specials and children. his new special, "comedy monster" is on netflix now. please welcome jim gaffigan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, jim. you know, i hesitate to throw the word "hero" around but you flew out here from new york. >> i did. >> jimmy: just to entertain these people, some of whom are from new york. [ cheers and applause ] >> these are all my children, actually. [ laughter ] no, i flew out here. but you know. i've been vaccinated and boosted. you know. but it is -- [ cheers ] it is strange. i will admit my parents haven't
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been vaccinated. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> which is -- yeah. they've been dead for a couple of decades. [ laughter ] but still. >> jimmy: very irresponsible. >> it's just selfish. just selfishness. >> jimmy: are you doing well? >> i'm doing all right. >> jimmy: everything's good? >> i'm doing all right. >> jimmy: your comedy special is very funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you know, it's funny. because a lot of the material in the special is about covid. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's about the pandemic. and being cooped up and all this stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i wonder, like when did you actually shoot it? >> it's -- i shot it in october. and i remember my manager was like, i don't know if you should do covid material, it might be over by then. and i was like, don't be silly. [ laughter ] but i didn't know that omicron would come in and make it incredibly relevant. >> jimmy: yeah, you lucked out. >> thank you, omicron. [ laughter ] no, it is -- it's, you know --
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the pandemic is just -- it's never-ending. >> jimmy: yeah, it seems like it, yeah. >> we just have this ongoing thing. it's like we're living in an episode of "dateline." every couple of minutes we find out a piece of information, then we have to wait for more information. [ laughter ] and we're never going to find out the end. >> jimmy: yeah, well -- i hope we don't find out the end, the end might be bad. >> right. i think when they end with -- when the greek alphabet ends, we're all dead. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: zeta, we're done, huh? okay, so this is your ninth comedy special. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is -- that's a lot of comedy specials. i wonder, when you were young, starting out, trying to scratch together five minutes, eight minutes, if you ever imagined you'd be able to do this. >> no. i had no expectation. i mean, the ninth special, it's -- i'm just trying to get my dad to like me. [ laughter ] no, it is one of those weird things.
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but it's all self-assignment in comedy. so i just -- i find it incredibly rewarding. and it's just fun. and it gets me out of the house. >> jimmy: is it the same for the people in your life having a ninth -- the first comedy special obviously is a huge deal. >> oh, yeah. people were very excited. now i have siblings that they don't really keep track of specials, they keep track of how much money they think i make. [ laughter ] they're like, i think jimmy could afford to take us all on vacation right now. so it's one of those. they're not interested at all. i mean, they'll come. occasionally. but it's not -- >> jimmy: to the taping of the special? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you want them to come to the taping of the special? >> no. i mean, there is -- [ laughter ] you know, first of all, i'm one of four boys and i'm considered third-funniest. >> jimmy: right, yeah, i know exactly what you mean, yeah. >> so there's always that, you know, variable of like, they could have done it better.
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but i always say, yeah, you're funnier, but i have more comedy specials. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, true, by nine. it is a funny thing. >> right. >> jimmy: you think the people you love most and who love you the most would be your biggest supporters in an audience. but you can see them out there going, yeah, he got that from me. [ laughter ] >> they were at a point, they were proud. but now it's gotten to the point of just annoyance. >> jimmy: right. yeah. and they're probably tired of hearing about you. >> yes. >> jimmy: all the time, from all their friends. >> i wouldn't want to hear about -- i just think of my sister-in-law going to the grocery store, she gives a credit card, oh, do you know jim gaffigan? yeah, i married his brother, who was supposed to be the most successful one. [ laughter ] my brother joe is 15 times smarter than me, so it's weird. >> jimmy: that's how it goes. sorry, joe. >> there you go. >> jimmy: you do spend a lot of time with your family. over the holidays you were
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posting pictures from disney world, universal. whose idea was that? >> sadly, it was mine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was your idea? >> it's like this -- it's a self-inflicted wound i do every couple of years. you know. i get to travel, and i'll do shows, and i'll bring my family. amazing places. and there's always a moment during these trips where i'll look at my kids, they'll be in the pool, i'll think the same thing. "i'm never doing this again." [ laughter ] because it's too hard. >> jimmy: yes. >> that's why every dad on vacation looks like he lost a bet. [ laughter ] because he did. that's why moms look happy on vacation, because they know the dad is suffering. [ laughter ] right? >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] my dad was terrible on vacations. on the few vacations we went on, if the car made it to disneyland -- >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: that was a huge hurdle to clear to start with. >> yeah, my dad -- you know, the big highlight -- my dad would take us to movies. but you wouldn't -- he would
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just be like, you want to go to a movie? you'd be like, yeah, sure. you'd get in the car and go. you wouldn't know what movie you were going to see. >> jimmy: really? >> show up at the theater, he'd buy tickets. you'd go in, didn't matter when the movie started. you'd watch the ending of the movie then stick around and watch the beginning. so there was always moments, wow, this was probably a really interesting movie if you'd seen it in chronological order. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. >> then we would leave in the middle and people would be like, what's wrong with that family? [ laughter ] it was crazy. >> jimmy: i think that's the opposite of ocd that your dad had, whatever that was. >> there's a level of impatience that i think that i, as a child, i thought was insanity, but i definitely embrace it. so when i will buy lunch when we're traveling and i buy lunch for my family, i'll just disappear and get lunch. there's no taking orders. "i would like a burger with this." i'm like, "you're getting what i'm getting you."
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i don't want to waste the time. i guess i'm kind of a dick. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yet your dad taking you guys to a random movie and getting in the theater in the middle of the film is probably the craziest thing i've ever heard in my whole life. >> i mean, it's -- he -- that was that generation. >> jimmy: no, no, it wasn't. he was the only one! [ laughter ] >> it was just like -- i mean, i like to think that it was a generational thing. >> jimmy: no. >> when i go to parent-teacher conferences i'm like, my dad didn't even know what school i went to. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> he didn't think i went to school. >> jimmy: sure. >> he was just like -- i was there for yard work, you know what i mean? i was some guy that would get him a scotch and -- like they used to send me -- did you ever have this? my parents smoked, they would send me to the grocery store. i was maybe 8. for a carton of cigarettes. and i would get there and they wouldn't be at the grocery store like, what's going on with an 8-year-old?
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they'd be like, do you need matches? [ laughter ] no one cared. >> jimmy: jim gaffigan is here. his special is called "comedy monster" on netflix. we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by verizon. go to verizon.com/5g to watch the "verizon 5g ultra show" now. [ doorbell rings ] oh! there's my little nephew. he looks more like dad every time i see him. -dad is old. -right. so, your message said you wanted to talk about insurance? i said, "i want you to talk about insurance." well, most people know that bundling home and auto -saves you money. -keep saying your words. but did you know that new customers who bundle and save with progressive can save an average of $800? shh. sleeping baby. i love you, too.
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gaffigan who is -- not only does he have a special on netflix called "comedy monster," you are in the "hotel transylvania transformia" which we saw the billboard for driving and my daughter's like, got to watch that. >> very exciting. i know that -- i mean, i've got big plans to watch it with my family. this pandemic has definitely created the family movie thing. that's the only thing in my family where we put our phones down, we watch a movie together. then we go back to yelling at each other. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you start it in the middle? just as a shout-out to grandpa? [ laughter ] >> no, but i'll make my nachos. i'll make nachos. because i love cheese. and so, like, these cheese manufacturers will send me these blocks of cheese. i started making nachos. i'll put my hot peppers on the nachos. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i want to mention your peppers. you've been growing -- gardening? >> since the pandemic.
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we rented a house, there was some gardening beds. when i was in eighth grade i wanted to be a farmer. i grew up in indiana. i love growing things, i just didn't do it for -- whatever. >> jimmy: seems like you wouldn't be able to go outside without a lot of protection. >> that's true. that's very true. >> jimmy: this is what you've been growing. >> those are a lot of peppers. >> jimmy: those are a lot. [ cheers and applause ] what kind of peppers, do you know? >> these -- i -- i was -- a lot of these are -- i'm so ignorant on all this stuff. >> jimmy: they're just peppers. >> there's just a lot of peppers. so i was -- i was working on a movie in vancouver. and my wife was like, i have these pepper seeds that you ordered, do you want me to plant them? and i was like, please. and so -- but she didn't know. she planted them all together right next to each other. of course, if you plant sweet peppers next to hot peppers, the cross-pollination -- you'll have every pepper hot. >> jimmy: right. >> so what i do is once you grow things, you put it in everything you make.
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and i'm not a good cook. but my kids had a lot of peppers for a lot of months. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they like the peppers? >> you grow to love a pepper omelette, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] they'd be like, why is this oatmeal spicy? [ laughter ] those damn peppers i grew. and they're beautiful. >> jimmy: have you had a jimmy nardello pepper? >> no. >> jimmy: those are real good peppers. i'll get you some seeds. >> i definitely want to do it. peppers are by the way the most rewarding thing to grow. >> jimmy: why? >> because there's -- first of all, they're beautiful. and there's just -- like corn, it can be a whiff. you know. and i've grown corn. and, you know, like -- my kids are shucking the corn, they see one worm, it's done, they won't eat it. >> jimmy: right. >> tomatoes, you have to protect them so much. peppers, it's such a variety. it's so cool. in mexico, different regions
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have their own peppers, so cool. >> jimmy: did you know this, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, of course. [ laughter ] >> everyone at home is like, are we watching two 50-year-old guys talk about peppers? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: they're like, why are they showing vegetables? >> it's so rewarding. you grow peppers too? >> jimmy: i grow everything. you don't want to know what i'm growing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> what are you growing? >> jimmy: a lot of stuff. >> a lot of stuff? >> jimmy: yeah. >> heroin? are you growing heroin? >> jimmy: i am not growing heroin. [ laughter ] no, right now we're trying to grow gerbils in the yard. >> gerbils? >> jimmy: you can grow them if you're good. >> by the way, that is a -- i feel like that's the next step. you get chickens. do you have chickens? >> jimmy: that's a whole -- listen -- >> my wife would kill me if i got chickens. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll get you set up with a coop. jim gaffigan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "comedy monster" is his special. it's on netflix now. we'll be back with ann dowd!
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>> jimmy: welcome back. ann dowd and music from ryan hurd are coming up. first on this show we look back at how far we've come during this pandemic. and with that said, it's time for a new edition of "this week in covid history." >> this week in covid history, it's a new year and the virus isn't monkeying around. >> two gorillas at the san diego zoo have tespove f >> youamn es
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>> wat outdoie bfili articnt >> on joe biden. >> oh, klan mom. you nailed it again. meanwhile, president poopie pants breaks a new record. for most impeachments. >> donald trump is a living, breathing, impeachable offense. it is what it is. >> that's what this was today, a lynching of donald trump. >> rather than actually helping american people in this time, we start impeachments. i call bull crap. >> the public wishes we were here dealing with coronavirus, not the virus of trump hatred that you seem to have found no vaccine for. >> have you tried penicillin? >> the president today met in
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the oval office with the mypillow guy from the tv commercials. >> so that's where he gets his meth. at least it can't get any worse for the president. >> breaking news, twitter announcing they are permanently banning donald trump from their pl twittas annouesent trums abilto post onhe s. >> thedent >> this is the first time any world leader is known to have been banned from twitter. >> this is like the germans with the jews behind the wall. >> good one, anne franks and beans. this has been "this week in covid history." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we will be right back with ann dowd! i have moderate to severe ulcerative colitis. so i'm taking zeposia, a once-daily pill. because i won't let uc stop me from being me. zeposia can help people with uc achieve and maintain remission. and it's the first and only
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s1p receptor modulator approved for uc. don't take zeposia if you've had a heart attack, chest pain, stroke or mini-stroke, heart failure in the last 6 months, irregular or abnormal heartbeat not corrected by a pacemaker, if you have untreated severe breathing problems during your sleep, or if you take medicines called maois. zeposia may cause serious side effects including infections that can be life-threatening and cause death, slow heart rate, liver or breathing problems, increased blood pressure, macular edema, and swelli he brain's blood vessels. though unlikely, a risk of pml--a rare, serious, potentially fatal brain infection--cannot be ruled out. tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, medications, or if you are or plan to become pregnant. if you can become pregnant, use birth control during treatment and for 3 months after you stop taking zeposia. don't let uc stop you from doing you. ask your doctor about once-daily zeposia. [doorbell] ♪ [gasps] is that throw..? imported from portugal. got it at marshalls for a total steal! nice! thanks.
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kenan! hey kenan! looking good. feeling good. i just found all these cars on autotrader. wow! now wait for the best part there microwave. a dealer is gonna deliver this car to our home. never leave home, never leave home! woo, it's here! there's one thing... i can't do from home. drive! someone stop him! kenan! catch ya later, refrigerator! six days of the week, when you steal a fry from your friend, they can say, "hey, i paid for those." but on free fries friday, they can't. free fries friday at mcdonald's. ♪ ba da ba ba ba. ♪
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leftovers," and her moving new movie which is called "mass." >> and the truth is, we believed we were good parents. and in some awful, confusing way, we still do. isn't it worse that i thought i was a good mother? i love my children. other parents, i wasn't so different. how did i do things so differently? it makes it -- it's very hard to trust anything anymore. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "mass" is available now on demand. please welcome ann dowd! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: great to have you here. boy, i am such a big fan of yours. i've told you this before and
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i'll tell you something. i want to thank you also for doing our norman lear specials. last month we did "live in front of a studio audience" of "diff'rent strokes" and "facts of life." you were really the mvp because you played a role in both shows. mrs. garrett. [ cheers and applause ] you were so great. so great. and i know it embarrasses you. >> no, no, it's very lovely. >> jimmy: you were great, absolutely. do you ever look at the reviews for this sort of thing? >> no, no. goodness. >> jimmy: okay, let me read you one. [ laughter ] "variety" said the real mvp of the evening has to be ann dowd, who played mrs. garrett in "facts" and "strokes," an almost perfect channeling of rae's vocal inflections. you'll swear you're watching the original series whenever dowd opens her mouth. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: i was on set, somebody pulled me aside and said, oh my god, i thought it was charlotte rae. she passed away years ago. even the crew was convinced of
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it. >> oh my goodness. i can just say that, when i got the lovely invitation, of course -- would you ever turn down jimmy kimmel? the answer would be no. [ laughter ] so you wear a bag over your head and cross the street if he asks. >> jimmy: yeah, that's not how it went in high school, but thank you. [ laughter ] >> no, of course not. and david lindelof, who i love very much, introduced us. after i said yes i thought, who am i kidding? i'm out of my league for sure. >> jimmy: oh -- >> i couldn't be more serious. i looked at the cast, i said, a mistake has been made here. and so i -- every time i tried to look at the script, i literally pushed it aside. no, no, i can't, i'm going to have to make a call. finally i thought, you know, honey, you're a grownup. what we do when we're grownups is we do the work in front of us. so then i read the script. >> jimmy: it's funny that was your reaction, because my initial thought was, yes, you'd be great. but i was nervous to ask you
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because i thought you might think it was frivolous or beneath you to play a role like that. >> oh -- >> jimmy: also, working with snoop dogg. [ laughter ] have you worked with snoop before? [ cheers ] >> do i look there? i don't know where to look, it's so lovely. [ cheers and applause ] hi. okay. this is what i want to tell you. so i sit down for the reading thinking, don't pass out, just sit. it's not that hard. to my right is snoop dogg. to my left is damon wayans. kevin hart and lithgow. i thought, i'm here for a reason, it will present itself. you wouldn't mind, but isn't he the loveliest, that snoop dogg? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he, yes. >> so fine and sweet. a fine actor and humble. and they all are. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they were all so astonishing. and the other cast. i remember it doing and thinking -- sweet jimmy burrows saying, i want you between the two, annie.
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oh, sure, sure -- thinking, but i am. sweet jennifer said, no, honey -- there's 5 billion cameras -- jennifer said, no, it's that camera. i see, yes. >> jimmy: it's a little different doing a sitcom. >> it's a circus of loveliness. >> jimmy: it never occurred to me you would be nervous because you've gone so much theater, you've done these real serious projects. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: you've done so much great stuff. "the leftovers," which is one of my all-time favorite shows. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's when i met my dear friend, justin, whom i love. >> jimmy: justin theroux. >> and my dear, dear, dear friend, yes. you see, that "live in front of a studio audience" part? >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's not the same. as shooting a series. >> jimmy: it's not, no. >> no. and i don't know that i've ever been as nervous. >> jimmy: you were fantastic. just play that clip. there's a guy who twitter who put together a little mashup. the guy's name is jaret. show that for the audience. >> it was so fun. >> you got a full meal in there? a salad, a main course, and a dessert? >> you got a full meal in there?
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a salad, main course, and a dessert? >> jo, what boy is going to spend the evening with you if he has to bid on a dinner like that? >> jo, what boy is going to spend the evening with you if he has to bid on a dinner like that? >> jimmy: unbelievable. really unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: and now i, over the break, got a chance to see your movie "mass." i feel like it's -- i don't know how you feel, but i feel it's important not to reveal what the subject matter is about. because that for me was part of watching this film. and it is really one of the best movies i've ever seen. and you and the rest of the cast, it is a very powerful -- what can you say about this film? >> i can say personally, i have a hard time talking about it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i can say personally, it was the most profound experience of acting in my life, for sure. where generosity of character to actor in a topic that is very
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challenging. and i thought to myself, i don't know where to go here. and i asked her for help, and she came every day. that's what charlotte rae did too, by the way. awfully kind of her. the other thing i would say is, it's important, because -- we're all kind of scared, you know, these days. because what is going on? for all of us. and it's a way through. meaning to healing, perhaps, or forgiveness, for the burdens that we carry that we want to put down but we don't know how. i think this film offers a way through. which i think is a beautiful thing. fran kranz wrote it. martha plimpton is in it, jason isaacs, reed birney. lovely, lovely actors. >> jimmy: they're just great. the whole thing you shot, almost all of it, in one room. we cried a lot watching this movie. >> thank you for watching in your very busy schedule. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know i'd watch anything you're in. >> thank you.
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>> jimmy: and i highly recommend that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i highly recommend people see it. it's hard to watch, but you're glad you did afterwards. >> i think so, thank you. >> jimmy: it's very great to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> appreciate it. >> jimmy: thank you for coming -- >> do i have to leave already? >> jimmy: you don't have to leave. we can hang out. there's a lady here whose whole family -- [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks very much. >> jimmy: they figured out the secret to life. ann dowd, everyone. "mass" is the movie. it is available on demand. we'll be right back with ryan hurd! >> lou: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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this is your home. this is your family room slash gym. the guest bedroom slash music studio. the daybed slash dog bed. the living room slash yoga shanti slash regional office slash classroom. and this is the basement slash panic room. maybe what your family needs is a vacation home slash vacation home. find yours on the vrbo app. ♪
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>> lou: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to jim gaffigan and ann dowd. apologies to matt damon. tomorrow night, david spade and alana haim with music from jay wheeler. "nightline" is next. but first, his album is called "pelago." here with the song "pass it on," ryan hurd! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ if you got a little smile in your pocket or maybe just a joint ♪ ♪ if you got a little weight in your wallet ♪ ♪ or right direction to point ♪ ♪ some good advice or good vibes or a little positivity ♪ ♪ yeah, if you got a full cup ♪ ♪ then split it on up like somebody did before me ♪ ♪ pass it on pass it on ♪ ♪ pass it on to someone else ♪ ♪ what good is your dollar or your love or your bottle ♪ ♪ if you keep it all to yourself ♪ ♪ there's enough to go around so send it on down ♪ ♪ 'cause you can't take it with you when you're gone ♪ ♪ so pass it on pass it on pass it on ♪
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♪ what a shame to see an old record collection collecting dust ♪ ♪ and all that trash can never be treasure ♪ ♪ if you're never gonna give it up ♪ ♪ so if you got 9 then i reckon 8's fine ♪ ♪ so share it while the beer's still cold ♪ ♪ and what's so great about a great story ♪ ♪ if the damn thing never gets told ♪ ♪ pass it on pass it on ♪ ♪ pass it on to someone else ♪ ♪ what good is your dollar or your love or your bottle ♪ ♪ if you keep it all to yourself ♪ ♪ there's enough to go around so send it on down ♪ ♪ 'cause you can't take it with you when you're gone ♪ ♪ so pass it on pass it on pass it on ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ pass it on if you're gonna roll it ♪ ♪ pass it on
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if you're blessed then show it ♪ ♪ pass it on before you get to going ♪ ♪ pass it on if you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ pass it on pass it on ♪ ♪ pass it on to someone else ♪ ♪ what good is your dollar or your love or your bottle ♪ ♪ if you keep it all to yourself ♪ ♪ there's enough to go around so send it on down ♪ ♪ 'cause you can't take it with you when you're gone ♪ ♪ so pass it on pass it on pass it on ♪ ♪ ♪ pass it on hm ♪ ♪ pass it on ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, the tragic death of young dolph. the celebrated rapper cut down in his prime. >> he was your favorite rapper's favorite rapper. >> his alleged killer taunting authorities on social media before finally being captured today. the senseless violence reminding so many of other hip-hop greats gone too soon. >> rappers are becoming an ebb dinged species. abbott elementary. >> there have been three presidents since this one, it's an old book. here's where i taped in the others. >> the hit comedy set in a philadelphia school. >> we about to be on tv! >> because they are
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