tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 12, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST
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>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, david spade, alana haim, and music from jay wheeler. and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you. oh, very nice. i appreciate it. i am jimmy. i'm the host of the show. welcome. thanks for watching. that's very nice. i don't know why you're hire, there's covid, you know, there's covid. [ laughter ] cases of omicron, sorry to tell
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you, are soaring. i do have good news. there's been a medical breakthrough. university believe they may have found a natural way to ward off the virus, and that natural way is cannabis. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] once again it's cannabis. according to this study, cannabis compounds can prevent covid-19 from infecting our cells. and "cannabis compounds" are also what willie nelson calls his house. [ laughter ] this would be interesting. all this time we've been listening to the cdc, we should have been eating cbd. [ cheers ] you know, it's funny. all these crazy cures, i'm like "oh, that's ridiculous. ivermectin, the horse dewormer, bleach --" then somebody says marijuana prevents covid, i'm like "oh, really?" "do tell --" [ laughter ] this omicron has created a real mess. most students are allowed back in school, but there aren't enough teachers. so many teachers have been getting sick and calling in sick. and as a result, schools are asking parents to come in to be
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substitutes. [ laughter ] because school isn't embarrassing enough for kids already. [ laughter ] now you have your mom in there teaching your friends sex ed. the banana is the penis, and -- i don't get that. [ laughter ] i mean if your parents are your teachers, why not just stay home? [ laughter ] you don't have to go to school. and the other thing is, you know, that kind of parent who volunteers to do this is also the kind of parent who would do this. >> i do not want my children to learn about anal sex in middle school. i've never had anal sex, i don't want to have anal sex, i don't want my kids having anal sex. >> jimmy: right. mrs. macon? i have to go to the bathroom! she really puts the "dumb" in sodomy. [ laughter ] here's an idea -- what if we just let the kids run wild? just drop them at an abandoned blockbuster video store and let them go nuts? it's worth a shot. right? [ cheers ] thank you for that tempered applause. [ laughter ]
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united airlines yesterday announced that 3,000 of their employees tested positive. the only airline with a higher positivity rate than united is recirculated air. [ laughter ] the only airline where you can get covid from yourself. our neighbors to the north have a plan which is interesting, to get shots in more arms. unvaccinated patients in canada are taking up half the beds in intensive care. the premier of quebec says they're going to start taxing people who refuse to get vaxed. you'll have to pay. can you imagine what would happen here if joe biden announced that? rand paul's tiny little perm would shoot off like a bottle rocket. [ laughter ] i mentioned last night, the cdc is telling americans not to travel to canada. it is a level four covid risk. which is the highest level. and today, the canadian government fired back with some travel recommendations of their own for us. >> canada, land of breathtaking natural beauty, vibrant cities,
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rtd the friendlies whic ihy wre t please stay the f niar falls -- from your own damn side. you know.t rocky mountains too,- go stare at those instead. there's never been a better time to not come to canada. think of us as can'tada, eh? we'll still send you syrup and the best hockey players and the occasional sutherland. [ laughter ] don't call our bailiff, we'll build a gosh-darn wall if we have to. then you'll be sorry. you folks can come on back when you start using common sense. and the metric system. [ laughter ] canada. waiting to be discovered -- once you get your [ bleep ] together. [ laughter ] >> i'm wayne gretzky and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: french really is such a romantic language.
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rolls so beautifully off the tongue. another virus that is on the rise again is that big orange golfer who used to run the country. our crazy ex-president has been making the interview rounds. trump stopped by oan last night to wax poetic and slam biden and take shots at his fellow republicans. >> do you consider your push on it? what's your view on the vaccine in general? >> well, i've taken it, i've had the booster. many politicians, i watched a couple of politicians -- >> jimmy: hold on what's going on with his hair? [ laughter ] did he rub a balloon on his head before the interview? [ laughter ] sorry, go ahead. >> many politics -- i watched a couple of politicians be interviewed. and one of the questions was, did you get the booster? because they had the vaccine. and they all -- they're answering it like -- in other words, the answer is yes but they don't want to say it. because they're gutless. you've got to say it. whether you had it or not, say it. >> jimmy: wonder who he's talking about. >> have you gotten the booster?
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>> so -- i -- i've done whatever i did, the normal shot, and you know, that at the end of the day is people's individual decisions about what they want to do. >> jimmy: da da da da da da da. [ laughter ] that's ron desantis, governor of florida. a lot of people believe he will run for president to try to get the republican nomination. you know that makes trump crazy. trump desperately wants credit for developing the vaccine, because he should want credit. but the dummies who follow him boo him when he said he got the vaccine. then you have characters like desantis who wants to have it both ways. he obviously got the booster, he doesn't want to admit he got it, which makes trump, who did admit it, look like a wuss to the gators and chewing tobacco crowd. imagine being called gutless by captain bone spurs, like being called tubby by the thousand-pound sisters. [ laughter ] i promised if we ever aired trump on television going forward, i would only show him nude. since i'm a man of my word,
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here's the rest of that interview. >> they do ask the question, you know -- i've given this answer so many times. i'll be announcing it fairly soon. i think people are going to be very happy with our answer. our country is going to hell. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a leader to take us there. have you been following the legal battle between novak djokovic and the australian government? djokovic, who is unvaccinated and is the number one ranked player in the world, is waiting to find out if he can play in the australian open next week, and he's in australia, or if he will be deported back to serbia. he violated australi's vaccine mandate and falsified his travel documents. and on top of that, he has admitted to appearing at several events last month shortly after testing positive. it's a very big story down under, one that led to this exchange on the tv news where two anchors were apparently unaware they were on the air. >> whatever way you look at it, djokovic is a lying snake.
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>> yes, he's a [ bleep ] hole. >> like whatever way you look at it, it's unfortunate that everybody else stuffed up around him. >> that's it. he's a [ bleep ]. >> like to go out when you know you're covid positive -- well, i don't think he was covid positi positive. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. that's what happens, right? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: why isn't all the news like that? i would watch the news every night. "i think he's a [ bleep ]." now let's check in with ron in the channel 9 weather center. [ laughter ] in other international news, this is a very strange story. i feel like this should be the big story today but it's not. pope francis -- you know that guy? the pope was spotted in rome last night doing something no pope, to my knowledge, has ever done before. >> leader of the catholic church making an unannounced stop, of all places, at a record shop, take a look. a surprised vatican reporter
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spotted the pope coming out of a downtown shop with a cd in his hand. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a cd? the pope is at a record shop buying a cd? somebody get the pope a spotify account! [ laughter ] imagine him loading up that six-disk cd changer in the pope mobile? [ laughter ] put that video back up. let's see if we can see what cd -- oh. [ laughter ] gangnam style. how very 2008. [ laughter ] there are a lot of "do my own researchers" going on right now, not just covid. one common result of the pandemic is people are taking health care into their own hands. doctors and hospitals have been so overwhelmed, it could take a month to get an appointment. so people are treating themselves at home. so much so, there's a name for it now. they're calling it do-it-yourself health care. and they're selling products. there's a home test to screen for colon cancer. you collect your own stool sample. you ship it to the lab from your
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house. it's a good reminder to tip your mailman at christmastime. [ laughter ] and it's easy to do. if you have a stool sample. there are several locations where you can send it or drop it off. here's one in central texas, north texas, south central texas, and washington d.c. [ applause ] write the word "ted" on it. just make sure he knows it's not tucker carlson's so he doesn't eat it. [ laughter ] but with so many americans playing doctor, we wanted to put their knowledge of human anatomy to the test. specifically the female human anatomy. so we went on the street to ask men what they know about women's bodies. and this is what we learned. ♪ >> do most women have one uterus or two? >> two. >> how many fallopian tubes do women have? >> one. >> do most women have one uterus or two? >> two.
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>> how many fallopian tubes do women have? >> one. >> how many fallopian tubes does the average lady have? >> one. >> oh! >> how many fallopian tubes do women have? >> fallopian tubes? i'd say -- i know i'm going to be way off -- i'm going to say four. >> how many ovaries does a woman have? >> uh -- geez. uh -- ovaries. one. >> how many ovaries does a woman have? >> six? >> what part of the body was a mammogram examine? >> oh -- the lower half. >> do you want to coin -- >> down there. >> what does pms stand for? >> post -- mental -- syndrome. why are you laughing? >> how often does that happen? >> um -- like once a year, at least. >> where's the cervix? >> there. >> and the vagina?
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>> oh, man -- okay. you're asking me trick questions. i don't know if it goes in this way or through here. here or here. >> and the cervix? >> is it on there? yeah? yeah? then it must be this part. >> point out the stuff that you know. >> that's like a baby? she's thick. >> what about the urethra? >> urethra? that's that. >> where's the anus? >> oh -- i think that's it. that looks like an anus. i don't know. >> anything you know on here, just tell us. >> the stomach? >> do you know what this is? >> is it a -- assisted mammogram device? >> what is this? >> pap smear? >> how about this guy? >> iud? >> do you know what this instrument is? >> no. like -- not even in german, no. >> what do you think it should be called in german? >> like a -- something opener. >> how do you say vagina opener
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in german? >> we would call it the scheidenofner. >> where's the cervix? -- right there. >> i'm so mortified. >> where does the baby go? >> in there? >> oh, wow. >> ma'am, what do you do for a living? >> i'm a gynecologist. apparently not a very good educator at home for my husband. >> do you know what ob-gyn stands for? >> obstetrics -- and words i can't say -- gynecologist. >> just my profession. no biggie. >> right. >> will you point to the [ bleep ]? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, so now we know. we've got a good show for you tonight. from the movie "licorice pizza," alana haim is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from jay wheeler. and we'll be right back with david spade.
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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight, she is the star of the movie "licorice pizza" and a rock star too. alana haim is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, he is apple music's up next artist. this came out today. it's called "de mi para ti." which guillermo told me is? >> guillermo: from me to you. >> jimmy: from me to you. jay wheeler from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, guillermo. tomorrow night, peter dinklage and fortune feemster will join us with music from oliver tree. please join us for that. our first guest is a very funny man you know from tv, from movies, and now, he is in your head alongside dana carvey with
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a new podcast called "fly on the wall." it launches today so open yourself up to it. please welcome david spade. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's your theme song. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, man! >> jimmy: good to see you, how you doing? >> hey, bud, what's up? >> guillermo: how are you, good to see you. >> when i hosted, guillermo blew it off. >> jimmy: blew the show off? >> he wasn't there, yeah, he was gold bricking. >> jimmy: where were you that day? >> calling in? >> guillermo: i was sick. i think i was sick. >> i have a real question. have you ever tested negative for covid? [ laughter ] i'm kidding, guillermo's fun. but he did blow it off.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you know this is your 20th appearance as a guest? >> i did not know, 20th here? [ cheers and applause ] yeah! >> jimmy: makes me very special, part of a platinum club. >> i'm part of it, it's really clicking. oh, they're all spaced apart. >> jimmy: yeah, we got -- >> that's good, that's good. >> jimmy: we got a partial audience. they're all fully formed human beings. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: but you know. we're making the best of this. >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: how have you been doing? what did you do over the break? go anywhere, do anything? >> christmas break, jimmy, i went back to az -- arizona. [ cheers ] i saw my mom, daughter harper, brothers. you know. we -- sometimes you get presents at christmas, you've heard about this? >> jimmy: yeah, i got something this year. >> they put them away. but i'm not a great gift getter. it's hard to show joy. [ laughter ] just like joy on cue, you know? i know, here it comes, i have to like it.
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no matter what. >> jimmy: no. >> then i get it, i know who it's from. i shake it. just stalling, you know. i sort of do a sweep. i don't know who it's from. so i open it. first thing i got was a pressure cooker. [ laughter ] you know what that is? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't. [ laughter ] i go -- then it's like, this is a crock pat? they go, no, no, no. it's exactly a crock pot. [ laughter ] i think. i think it is. then i go, oh! oh! i read the directions for something to do, trying to find some joy in it. [ laughter ] and it says -- i go, oh, it makes oatmeal in -- 15 minutes. [ laughter ] is this something from elon musk? oh, i make it in two minutes? oh, okay. [ laughter ] not under a lot of pressure, the old pressure cooker. >> jimmy: it doesn't seem like a great gift for you in general. >> they go, you can hook it up to your phone. it gets better. [ laughter ] i can spend 30 minutes getting an app for it. then when i get to work it's
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like, mm, oh, your oatmeal's ready! [ laughter ] so that was fun. >> jimmy: yeah. i get that. i'm not good with that too. i get scolded afterwards. like, you didn't show any -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: no, i liked it! then i'm better the second time. no, i loved it! my voice goes up. >> you're rich, you have everything you want, it's very hard. >> jimmy: i certainly got a pressure cooker, that's for sure. >> a pressure cooker is really -- it was a -- i made it into an ornament. so anyway. then i went out to the local, you know, az dinner with my buddies, outdoor thing. >> jimmy: these are old pals from the neighborhood? >> yeah, high school, yeah. >> jimmy: i went to college in arizona. >> yeah. >> jimmy: my hometown is las vegas. and i know you are -- you got a show there with ray romano. >> i do the mirage a lot. >> jimmy: is that better for you, to be in las vegas, than to be back home? >> it's -- it's different, jimmy. let me explain. las vegas is a different city. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ]
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are you saying they're two different places? >> well, i don't know if you understood. no, what it is, i do the -- i have a deal. we do it a lot, me and ray, it's fun. then i am on a tour right now. of all the -- theater tour. davidspade.com, guillermo! [ laughter ] so i do that. but i do vegas. last time i was there, my driver -- they give you a driver. then he's like sort of a guido type. you know, tough guy. he goes, hey, man, what's up? i'm from brooklyn, i'm not used to all this. i go, oh, yeah? how long you been there? oh, about 44 years. [ laughter ] then he goes, there's a lot of the crazies out there. whatever. then i go, who's the worst tipper? i don't know what i'm saying. this is what i should not have said. he's like this, those showbiz guys are tough. [ laughter ]
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i'm like, you know, showbiz-adjacent. i think i know what's going on. i go, oh yeah? hee goes, the worst, i'm a working stiff busting my hump. i go, i know, i know. he goes, that sandler, good guy, good guy. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah, money's flying. chris rock. i go, oh, no. the squad, obviously. it's going to head back to me. [ laughter ] chris is great. and i go, hey, do they put like a tip in there, like they add it -- just for my own head so i know what to add on top. he goes, that's not much. i go, well -- is it anything? he goes, it's like nothing. oh. then we go there. here we are, four-minute drive. then he's like, so -- and i'm like -- it's like slow motion. and i go -- ha ha. no matter what it is, he's like,
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urgh, guess i won't be buying any bitcoins today. [ laughter ] i gave him a pretty good tip. >> jimmy: a hustle out of the southwest. should have given him a pressure cooker. >> you know what, they like when they start with, in lieu of a tip. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: david spade is here. we're going to talk about his new podcast. >> podcast, oh my gosh. >> jimmy: we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by verizon. go to verizon.com/5g to watch the verizon 5g ultra show now. ♪ music: i got it] by jung youth and jeremy silver ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the first-ever corolla cross.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with davh spade. >> yeah. >> jimmy: david, you have a podcast with dana carvey. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it just came out today -- dropped today? do they say dropped with a podcast? >> sure. >> jimmy: it's a great idea. whose idea was this? >> it was kind of spade's. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and how is he? will you tell him i said hello? >> spade's been pretty cool. no, we -- i started out -- i'll back it up. when i was in az doing stand-up, then i -- you know, your dreams of being on "snl" were not my dreams because it was too high of a dream. like, i kept it realistic. i might work at the copper mine. you know, from arizona. >> jimmy: i totally understand that. >> rattlesnake handler. you know. [ laughter ] there's so many vocations. you don't even think. i thought, if i could do stand-up and not borrow money from people.
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if i can just make enough, that would be it, i'm done, i'm perfect. so i did a little stand-up, got to l.a., did the improv. then i met nealon. through nealon, one night just randomly, i was like, i've got to get a place. he was like, i just got "snl," you can rent my room while i go, i'm in a house. dana carvey's above the garage. you know dana. i said, i don't know him but i think he's great. another comic lived there, bob duback. i took his room, he and dana would come back on weeks off, we'd talk about the show. we stayed friends. one of the greats of "snl." we'll talk about "saturday night live," dennis miller would come to the dinner, conan. i said, i want to do a podcast, maybe if we do something "snl" related. it can be all showbiz. but everyone we know is sort of involved in that, in the world of "snl." you could be music, you can be a host, a guest host. >> jimmy: so your guests are all people that -- >> somewhat related, yes.
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>> jimmy: past members, writers? >> yeah. so we started with -- i think the ones today are chris rock, rob lowe. then once a week. next week's tina fey, tom hanks. >> jimmy: this could go on forever, really. >> yeah, we did about 15 already. then -- it's kind of carvey andd dana talking over each other, it's stupid. [ laughter ] tom hanks is super cool, everyone knows he's a great guy. i think he would sort of just be an everyday comedian or something. it's almost too heavy that he's such a star. everyone gets too freaked out. just to get to talk to him for a while about snh. he really lights up. he remembers everything he did. >> jimmy: he hosted when you were there? >> he hosted early on. early on for me. he doesn't know i'm some dip [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] when we're there, we're all writers but equal. the host, they trust -- >> jimmy: they don't know the hierarchy, right. >> we're just writers. bring them around the room, what ideas do you have?
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then i just caught him require said, you pitched something in the meeting about subway surfing? he goes, yeah. i go, are you going to write that up? he goes, do you want to write it up with me? i go, yeah. he doesn't know i'm horrible. [ laughter ] but i said, yeah! then he's going, and we should have music. i go, of course! i don't know how to write music. first of all, i have a legal pad. we don't have computers back then. so i'm going -- [ laughter ] i knew i'd write a couple of jokes. we wrote it all night, then we did it, then boom. >> jimmy: you and tom hanks steady up all night writing --ness we stayed up a lot. he was bopping to the other rooms, conan, jack, all the great writers. he had to meet with mike myers. everyone gets a piece of the he goes, let's go write, he was excited about it. we talked about it on the show. we did it at rehearsal and it really ate it. i remember being on the subway, surfing. he was next to me. our eyes connected. we were like, it's over. we were two minutes into it and we had five more. i'm like, it's bombing.
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>> jimmy: it bombed? >> we did it wrong. you get the wrong thing in rehearsal. >> jimmy: you cut the whole thing? >> he was the host and he cut it. he was cool. we talked about it. and he remembered the song. he sang the whole song. >> jimmy: he remembered the song? >> he remembered. >> jimmy: come. >> i couldn't believe it. >> jimmy: wow, that's crazy. >> really fun. but just stories about "snl." then about, you know, anything comedy related or showbiz related. >> jimmy: will you have lorne michaels on the show? >> love lorne, the guy that gave us all a break. we would love to have him on. we mention him almost every single show. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. did you call and ask his permission to do this show about "saturday night live"? >> i don't think so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think someone asked him. we had someone check to make sure. >> jimmy: you did? >> we're buddies with him. >> jimmy: right, right. >> he doesn't care, he's doing fine. [ laughter ] he can come on. we had laraine newman. the first five years, it's great to hear about belushi and all
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that. >> jimmy: i bet. >> everyone has stories i hadn't heard. >> jimmy: i don't know there were any great ideas for podcasts left. >> there are, thank you. >> jimmy: i can't wait to listen to it. >> it's not that hard. dana is great. everyone's quick on their feet. it's fun to talk to smart comedy people. everyone's got writers. everyone's just got a good, you know -- just quick, it moves. i like it. >> jimmy: nice. are you and dana still living together? [ laughter ] >> we had kevin nealon on, we talked about that, really funny too. we just -- dana and i are taking a break. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are, i'm so sorry, i should not have brought it up. >> i bought a condo in the meta verse. >> jimmy: i apologize. that's my bad. don't worry, we'll edit this out of the show. why is it called "fly on the wall"? >> i thought you knew. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. you're flies on the wall, you're on the show. >> when you're talking, somebody said i like to hear you guys talk, i'd like to be a fly to the wall.
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>> jimmy: yes. let's work on the title. >> it was going to be called, "that's showbiz!" >> jimmy: i like that. david spade," fly on the wall" what is they're going with. da david spade and dana carvey, wednesday, pod costs, wherever they're sold. david spade, everybody. back with alana haim! because i won't let uc stop me from being me. zeposia can help people with uc achieve and maintain remission. and it's the first and only s1p receptor modulator approved for uc. don't take zeposia if you've had a heart attack, chest pain, stroke or mini-stroke, heart failure in the last 6 months, irregular or abnormal heartbeat not corrected by a pacemaker, if you have untreated severe breathing problems during your sleep, or if you take medicines called maois. zeposia may cause serious side effects including infections that can be life-threatening and cause death, slow heart rate, liver or breathing problems, increased blood pressure, macular edema, and swelling and narrowing of the brain's blood vessels.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from jay wheeler is on the way. our next guest makes up one-third of a great band called haim, and now she adds acting to her resume in paul thomas anderson's latest feature film, "licorice pizza." >> i'm cooler than you. don't forget it. >> i don't need you to tell me whether i'm cool or not, old lady. >> what was that? >> i said my lady. >> what was that?
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>> my lady. i don't need you to tell me whether i'm cool or not. >> you're not cool. and your breath smells. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "licorice pizza" is in select theaters now. please say hello to alana haim. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thanks for coming. >> oh my gosh. it is so nice to be here. >> jimmy: i'm very happy to have you here. i've been here as a musical performer. >> we've had so many amazing memories. >> jimmy: a lot of fun memories for sure, even outside the show a couple of times. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: i have to tell you something, you are so great in this movie, it's such a great movie. [ cheers and applause ] i remember seeing the billboard. seeing that you were doing this. wow, how did this happen? and the then i see you.
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and really, in a way, it's your first movie. you've made a mockery of the art of acting. >> oh my goodness. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: all those people who went to various school and studied for years, and you just show up and are great in the movie. it's ridiculous. >> i can't explain it. i can't explain. >> jimmy: how did this happen? paul thomas anderson, one of the great filmmakers, who made "magnolia," he made "there will be blood," "boogie nights." he directed a lot of your music videos. >> yes, he did. >> jimmy: how did he know? >> you know, i've been asking myself that question too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't know how he knew. there was a -- we somehow got him to help us with our coachella performance a couple of years ago. and under his breath he's saying, i'm going to put you in a movie one day. and i was like, okay, cool. [ laughter ] like, would love to be an extra. [ laughter ] it's true. i still would love to be an
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extra of paul's. and one day, i was in london, i was super jet lagged. i get this email from paul thomas anderson. i open it up, it's a script. the first name on the page is my name. i'm like, paul, thank you for using my name, that's so nice of you. i read and it i loved it. i didn't realize at a time it was 5:00, 6:00 in the morning my time. in london. i don't know what time in l.a. i was like, maybe this feels a little creepy. i think i remember being like, yawn, paul, you're sending me these emails so early in the morning. but i love this script, yeah, there's a lot of character. she's something. she's a great gal. and i was like, who's going to play alana? i think he got mad because he was like, alana, who's going to play alana other than alana, you, of course, would you want to do it?
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i of course said yes. i hung up the phone and i was like, okay, time to go to bed. then i couldn't sleep. [ laughter ] i couldn't sleep, i was like, what did i get myself into? >> jimmy: did you tell your sisters immediately? >> i -- i mean, i thought that they also got the script. so i thought that they knew. and they had no idea. [ laughter ] i was like -- yeah, i was like, how did you like that script last night? they're like, what are you talking about? what script? and i was like, did paul only send to it me? but no, they were so happy. >> jimmy: it's like he's trying to drive a wedge between you. [ laughter ] >> breaking up the band. he's breaking up the band. >> jimmy: if you were all in it -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: then your parents are in it too. [ cheers and applause ] and your parents are funny in it. i didn't realize until afterwards that those were your real parents. >> oh, yeah, those are my -- my dad is like your biggest fan. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> we're talking about my parents, i can already tell they're freaking out. >> jimmy: your dad seems so serious in the movie. >> oh, yeah. the first time he came on set --
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so my dad obviously has never acted before, just like me, just like my whole family. and he didn't get a script. so everything was just like, okay, alana, this is the scene, alana's going to come home, she snuck out for dinner. you catch her. and just react. so i tell everyone, like, oh, you guys have no idea. my dad's about to lose it. he is going to lose it, and everyone is going to be scared. and i walk up, i'm like, here we go, here we go, here we go. my dad's like, "hey. where have you been?" [ laughter ] "it's late, you should hit the hay." [ laughter ] "i'll talk to you tomorrow." and paul goes, cut! and i look and i see my siblings in the distance, we're all just like crying of laughter. and paul's like, why? what's going on? we're all like, that is so not what the truth is. [ laughter ] there's no way you're just
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like -- go for it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and paul went up to my dad, i think he said, come on, unleash the dragon. and i think once my dad kind of got the okay -- he was very much playing like an all-american dad. who is this dad? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and paul goes, action! i walk up and my dad just goes nuts. he starts screaming at me. and i was like, that's my dad. [ laughter ] there we go, that's my dad. >> jimmy: your real dad. [ applause ] >> he was great. >> jimmy: i have a photograph of your parents here. [ cheers and applause ] real estate agents. they sold -- you guys were in a band together, which is fantastic. >> yes. you know what their tagline was? this is their real estate photo. their tagline was "music to your ears, dot dot dot, sold." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the dots are very important to that. >> the dots are so important. >> jimmy: do they ever come on tour with you guys when you tour? >> they come to like the fun cities. i was in a band with my parents
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that was called rocking haim. [ cheers and applause ] we got some rocking haim fans in the audience. >> jimmy: i was in a band with my parents is a good sentence just in general. >> i was. we played covers. and when me and my siblings go on tour, they come to a lot of the shows. and they think that they're going to perform. they just assume they're going to perform. all the time. [ laughter ] and there is this one show, i think in london, it was like our biggest show. they asked us before, they were like, so, you know -- are we going to play? we're like, no. mom and dad, you're not going to play. this is our biggest show. like, come on. and finally we were all on the stage, like should we have mom and dad play? come on. we're like catching them off guard, like i don't know what's going on. we like signal to our stage manager, like, can you just find my parents? i swear i, like, turned, turned back, turned again.
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i saw my dad like warming up. [ laughter ] my mom was -- like had a cup of tea, "me me me me me me me." my parents are professionals. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you and your sisters are ba going back on tour? >> we are. >> jimmy: the hollywood bowl, first time? >> first time, may 1st. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: may 1st, i would love to come see you. would your parents be on stage? >> 100%. >> jimmy: excellent. >> now i have to do it. >> jimmy: congratulations on this unbelievable success. the movie is "licorice pizza." it's in select theaters now. alana hail, everybody! back with jay wheeler. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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my name is douglas. i'm a writer/director and i'm still working. in the kind of work that i do, you are surrounded by people who are all younger than you. i had to get help somewhere along the line to stay competitive. i discovered prevagen. i started taking it and after a period of time, my memory improved.
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it was a game-changer for me. prevagen. healthier brain. better life. >> lou: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to david spade and alana haim. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, i'll be joined by peter dinklage and fortune feimster with music from oliver tree.
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tonight, jamie lynn spears finding her voice. >> i have to do it or how else can i expect my daughters to stand up for themselves? >> breaking her silence about her relationship with her superstar sister. with insights into britney's struggles. what was your reaction when the conservatorship was dissolved? >> i was happy. >> shedding light on her own mental health struggles. >> it really was like to the point where i panic attacks werr all-consuming. >> after that tragic accident that changed everything. >> i felt to the core what it's like to have the worst happen to you. >> riffing her life on her own terms. >> i stood up for myself to say exactly what i wanted. >> this special edition of
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