tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 20, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST
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>> for all of us, we appreciate your time. right now on jimmy kimmel, jason >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jason bateman. ashley park. and music from laufey. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh! well, hi, everyone. hi, guillermo. thank you much. hi, everybody. oh, very nice. very kind. i welcome you. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for joining us from our headquarters here in hollywood where -- you know how it feels like the world could end at any second all the time now? like we're the loud mouth in a horror movie and you know it's
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coming, you just don't know when? if you do, this isn't going to make you feel any better. this morning in chicago, they gave the annual update on the "doomsday clock." this is a clock that is supposed to tell us how close we are to the end of human life on planet earth. it's not a fun clock. it's not like the kind of clock flavor flav would wear jauntily around his neck. [ laughter ] it's a death clock. they had the yearly unveiling today, and this is where things stand apocalypse-wise. >> today, the members of the science and security board deem the world to be no safer than it was last year at this time, and therefore have decided to set the doomsday clock at 100 seconds to midnight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's kind of good that it's still where it was last year, right? by the way, i complained about this last year. if you're going to spell out doom, how about a better clock? that clock has no second hand! [ laughter ] this is a clock you would buy at z gallerie for $3 with a aaa
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battery in back of it. should be happy we're only - 100 seconds to midnight. with all that's going, covid, inflation, democracy on the verge of collapse, a new season of "cheer." [ laughter ] somehow we're no closer to the end of the world than we were a year ago. today marks one year since president biden was sworn into office. it's also the one-year anniversary of donald trump skipping the inauguration, like it was don jr.'s birthday party or something. [ cheers ] one year ago today, donald and melania boarded air force one to fly home to florida. and that, was the last time they saw each other. [ laughter ] it was also a year ago today that we gathered around our televisions to watch as a 79-year-old man made an historic statement. that statement being, mittens are in. [ cheers and applause ] a fashion statement. a lot of people are disappointed with president biden. his approval rating just reached a new low after his press conference yesterday. the press conference was a success in that he went nearly
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two hours without having to pee. [ laughter ] but otherwise, it wasn't great. donald trump of course was watching. he can't tweet anymore, he's in time-out. so he was forced to put out one of those statements. and this is the statement by donald trump, 45th president of the united states of america. he wrote, "how come biden picks a reporter off a list, in all cases softball questions. and then reads the answer? i would never have been allowed to get away with that, nor would i have to!" he released this while biden was in the middle of the press conference.phe really is the wo craziest ex. [ laughter ] basically, biden is pete davidson. america is kim kardashian. and trump is a chubby orange kanye. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and the idea that this -- i never would have been allowed to get away with it? he got away with everything. he sharpied his own weather on a map, okay? [ laughter ] there's nothing he didn't get away with. but now he's just another old man in florida complaining about things he sees on tv.
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[ laughter ] i would like him to make a statement about everything he sees on tv. for instance, if your favorite beloved president had not been persecuted and treated very badly after the sham election, spongebob would live in a big, beautiful and huge pineapple on the land! land is better! sea is wet. sad! [ laughter ] [ applause ] the bobbleheads over at fox news had a lot of fun with the press conference yesterday. here's the comedy team of hannity and ingraham with their in-depth and unbiased analysis of when biden meet the press. >> it was a nightmare. oh my god. it was -- it was about the worst as i can remember from a president, frankly. >> i honestly as an american, and i don't say this with any joy. i felt embarrassed. it's humiliating. >> jimmy: that's what made you embarrassed? that's the worst you can remember? [ laughter ] i guess maybe you forgot about this. >> what do you say to americans watching you right now who are scared? >> i say that you're a terrible
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reporter. this sleazy guy right over here from abc, he's a sleaze, my book. you're a sleaze. you should say congratulations, great job. instead of being so horrid in the way you ask a question. you should be thanking them for what they've done, not always asking wiseguy questions. what a stupid question that is. what a stupid question. stupid, stupid question. stupid question. you don't have the brains you were born with. that's okay, i know you're not thinking, you never do. >> i'm sorry. >> no, go ahead. >> the president of finland, ask him a question. >> did you hear me? ask him a question. ask this gentleman a question. don't be rude. you are a rude, terrible person. you ought to be ashamed of yourself. you're a third-rate reporter. a question like that is just fake news. you're just a faker. you are the enemy of the people. quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet. sit down, sit down, sit down. >> no, i'm -- >> sit down. look, let me tell you something.
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be nice. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: not embarrassing at all. that's being best. meanwhile, the legal woes for trump are piling up. i mentioned last night, the attorney general of new york says she has evidence that the trump organization engaged in a pattern of deception. and today we learned that the district attorney in fulton county, georgia, has requested a special grand jury to look into his post-election shenanigans there. on top of that, the supreme court cleared the way for the special committee looking into the insurrection to review 700 pages of documents trump wanted kept secret. and we got an update from congress today on what trump was doing behind closed doors in the lead-up to january 6th. according to his former press secretary, trump held secret, "off-the-book" meetings in the white house residence. in the part of the house where he lives. stephanie grisham said the attendees at these secret meetings were brought in by the white house usher, a man named timothy harleth. they were not entered into the official record, which could mean that timothy harleth would
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be subpoenaed by the economy, which would be a big deal for a guy whose only job on the the white house seemed to be, what comes up on google images when you search his name, picking the white house christmas tree. you can see he's here making sure the tree is green. getting input from the locals. and then he picked the winner gave it a little american bow. there is one other photo of timothy, lighting a candle at the most embarrassing white house meal of all time. [ laughter ] that could be the guy who brings trump down. timothy! a soldier in the war on christmas could be the guy to do this. [ laughter ] we will see. and while their last attempt to steal an election may have failed, republicans and a couple of democrats in the senate, manchin and sinema, are doing everything they can to make sure the next one doesn't. yesterday, they blocked a voting rights bill that, if passed, would have outlawed discrimination against minority voters and made it easier in general for all of us to vote. republicans want to add restrictions to voting because
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they're worried about voter fraud, even though it's almost completely nonexistent, voter fraud. you know what, you guys believe climate change is none high existent, right? how about coming up with some restrictions for that? let's compromise on this. [ cheers and applause ] after the vote, senator mitch mcconnell poked his little old head out of his shell to accidentally say what he really means. >> what's your message for voters of color who are concerned that without the voting rights act they're not going to be able to vote in the midterm? >> the concern is misplaced. if you look at the statistics, african american voters are voting in just as high percentage as americans. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he means "regular" americans. the pink ones like him. meanwhile, in texas, there's a winter storm warning in effect in texas with possible ice storms. you know what that means. it's time to pack your jansport,
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senator cruz! [ applause ] you're going to cancun! i have a feeling he'll never travel to mexico again. [ laughter ] this is a crazy video, speaking of the cold. this is from huntington, west virginia, where a reporter named tori yorgey showed just how dangerous breaking news can be. >> now we're starting to experience, unfortunately, in freeze-thaw we see this, water main breaks. >> oh my gosh, i just got hit by a car, i'm okay. i just got hit by a car but i'm okay. >> that's a first for live tv. >> i'm okay. yeah, you know that's live tv for you. it's all good. i actually got hit by a car in college too, just like that. >> wow. [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: weirdly, it was the same guy, same car. he's been hunting her awhile. well done, if she doesn't get employee of the month, nobody should ever. [ laughter ] tim didn't care at all. tim was almost unresponsive. [ laughter ]
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we're all getting hit with covid right now. major breakthroughs are happening every day. researchers at yale university have invented a wearable device. you clip it on your clothes, it detects if there's covid in the air around you. this is a researcher wearing one of the devices. it's that little green thing clipped to his collar. and when it detects covid, this symbol comes up. [ laughter ] i guess -- you run? i don't know. bad news, dude, i tested rogan. [ laughter ] according to a new study, about half of americans gained weight during the first year of the pandemic. no kidding. did we need a study for that? [ laughter ] we already had a way to learn we gained weight. it's called our pants. [ laughter ] they say the most likely group to gain weight was males who wre white or hispanic, married, over the age of 45, have a full-time job, and live in western states. guillermo, do you know anyone who fits that description? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: nobody.
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>> jimmy: i feel like they specifically isolated us. we were all the thousand pound sisters during the quarantine. it's what unites us. and one more thing before we barrel ahead carelessly. it's thursday night. and that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week, whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> presidents, their [ bleep ]s go up and down. the question is what does he have to do to get his back up again? >> 95, as high as 98% of the schools in america, are open. [ bleep ]. >> shucks. messes are everywhere. whether half the snack is under the table or me taking a [ bleep ] on the tank, come on, now! >> a pastor in oklahoma who once sold a service to pray away coindividual is poll viapologizg for rubbing his [ bleep ] in the
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eye. >> lyrics saying, god save me from the crash just so i can blooet pete davidson's ass. >> a restaurant shut down for a few days because it was accepting [ bleep ] photos instead of proof of vaccination. >> we love you, we're so thankful we're here in arizona. when i'm elected we will [ bleep ] your big, beautiful [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >>a od sw for you tonight. from "emily in paris," ashley park is here. we have music from laufey. and we'll be right back with jason bateman.
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from iceland. her ep is called "typical of me," music from laufey. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we've got new shows with kristen bell, johnny knoxville, has the new "jackass" movie coming out, charlie day will be with us, jake tapper from cnn, ike barinholtz, lady gaga. with music from eric bellinger, and ian dior featuring machine gun kelly and travis barker. please join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an emmy-winning actor and director who started out as a child actor. and on his 18th birthday became an adult actor. [ laughter ] you can see him play the world's most likable money-launderer on the 4th and final season of "ozark." it premieres tomorrow on netflix. please welcome jason bateman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm going to say, i don't -- i don't -- this -- mother. i don't miss the magic elevator that you made us all come out of. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> for way too long. >> jimmy: we got rid of that weird fake elevator, yeah. >> was that your idea? >> jimmy: no. >> you didn't see it? >> jimmy: i never came through it myself. >> you saw it every night. >> jimmy: i did see it, yeah. >> it's like a blind spot for you. everybody on the show, remember, a little box, a magic door -- >> jimmy: they have no idea. >> there was a celebrity in there. >> jimmy: right. >> curtains people come out from. jimmy's got an elevator! you come up from men's shoes or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the way you describe it makes it sound much better than it actually was. >> it was insane. >> jimmy: a real friend would have told me that when it was happening. >> oh, god. well, it's over now. >> jimmy: i do want to say thank
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you to you for appearing in our live presentation of "the facts of life" last month. [ cheers and applause ] can you believe that was last month? that was last month. >> that was last month, a long time ago.& that was a pleasure. that was so fun. the wigs i could have done without. but we were -- the theory there, right, was to wear the wigs of the -- so that you look exactly like the people that actually did that particular episode. >> jimmy: yeah, close enough. >> but there was no ticker on the bottom of the screen that says "these asinine wigs are an effort to authenticate what we are trying to do." just looked like we were going for a cheap joke. which i'm not above doing. >> jimmy: how do you explain what'sing on, on your head tonight then? >> good to see you. [ laughter ] yeah, this is -- >> jimmy: bateman storms off! >> it's almost a mullet, isn't it? >> jimmy: your hair grows like "teen wolf." >> you should see my buttocks,
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it's a disaster. >> jimmy: you and your best friend, will arnett -- is will your best friend? >> ah, it's -- i don't have a lot of options. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it still laif garrett? >> you and will and sean are battle for the gold. >> jimmy: whoa, listen, i'm going to step it up, then. >> the bar's not that high. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys play these two jocks, meatheads from the boys academy down the street, tim and dink. will was dink. i will tell you something. the show was really funny. but the funniest part of the show was you guys screwing around during rehearsals the whole time leading up. >> will and i didn't have that much to do so we tried to keep each other entertained when we were in the background of a few shots. i think i know where you're going with this. >> jimmy: yes, i am going there. you guys seemed to be doing a show within the show. and we have a clip of that here. >> i don't believe it! blair ended up with karl. tell me i'm dreaming.
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>> the little princess -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and correct me if i have any of this wrong. will hit you pretty hard, right? >> hit me pretty hard, because the filming of it.ht, that was - in rehearsals an hour earlier, he like put -- we're trying to stay in the scene in character. he's dink, i'm whatever the hell my name was. >> jimmy: tim. >> tim. he's got his hand on the table talking to me. i got sick and tired of watching him do fake acting to try to stay animated in the background. i just smacked the crap out of his hand. but he moved his hand. i really hurt my hand. he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. so that little improv is him saying, all right, we're back here doing fake acting what are you going to do, hit my hand again? guess what, whack! i hit you first! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, you and sean hayes and will arnett host a
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very, very funny podcast called "smartless." [ cheers and applause ] i saw it's in like the top 25 podcasts in the world this year. >> one funny episode, it was the one you were on. >> jimmy: yeah, no, all the episodes are funny. and you're going on a tour. what cities are you going to on this tour? >> we're going to go to new york, chicago, d.c., l.a., boston, and madison, wisconsin. >> jimmy: these are big theaters? >> these are like 3,000-seat places, yes. >> jimmy: you'll be there doing the podcasts? >> yeah, no, so this is what -- it's a really dumb idea. [ laughter ] the whole podcast itself is insane. i don't know what we're doing. and then we kind of jokingly say, we should take this thing on the road, you know? then we got a phone call from a big place, they said, come here first if you want. then the adults in our life said, guys, you should think about this, maybe go on a -- so we're going to go. but it's just four idiots, well, three idiots and one respectable
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guest having a conversation on a stage. people pay money to see singing, dancing, stand-up. it's just us talking, you know? like you give a monologue. you have a musical guest. like, i don't know what -- >> jimmy: you're trying to set people's expectations low. [ laughter ] >> i'm not, i just think it's a big mistake, now we're two weeks out, and we got to go do it. [ laughter ] and us dingbats decided to film it for a two-part documentary on discovery plus. so we're going to film behind the scenes of our big rock tour! >> jimmy: will you be traveling together? >> yeah, we're traveling together. we're -- you know. we're living together in a big suite. >> jimmy: do you have separate buses? or will you be on the same bus? >> we're going to do one bus leg from chicago to madison. but the rest of it is flying in february. >> jimmy: because i saw at van nuys private airport, i saw -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] this plane you guys have got?
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the people at greyhound sent me all these different buses. like there's a sean bus, there's a will bus, there's a jason bus. >> listen. we are soft actors. we need to travel in comfort. but you're not supposed to know about any of that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you know how the tickets are selling for these events? i'm going to let you know because i happen to know. b put that up. i looked at ticket master. that's boston. >> those are the purchased? >> jimmy: red are the available. [ cheers and applause ] >> no. >> jimmy: red are the available. this is like the map we're going to see when covid finally goes away. so that's good. even the red ones are like scalper tickets. you've sold out completely in boston. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yet you're still nonplussed. >> i'm so afraid it's going to turn into some kesey "big brother" episode where the cameras are catching us brushing our teeth in our hotel room --
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>> jimmy: don't brush your teeth. >> sean waking up grogry, will waking up without his wig on. [ laughter ] that will be a great episode, america, you guys don't know. no one knows, right? that's all -- you know, his strategy was, no one's going to widow's peak kind of thing. he's going to have a nice thing. no, i'm looking like i'm going to start getting bald but it's all fake. >> jimmy: if you're lucky enough to have already bought tickets you get to see will arnett's wig live and in person. >> he'll probably have it on for the stage piece. in the hotel room, we're going to get the cameras on it. >> jimmy: you know i love "oz "ozark." we're going to see a clip from the new season. i've seen the first episode. >> you have notes? >> jimmy: it's great. let's take a break and then we'll take a look. jason baseman is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> leo: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by raising cane's chicken fingers. one love! i can get more.... four hours. that's not good. what is time?
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♪ ♪ ♪ every home should be a haven. ikea. the navarro cartel has been made aware by you, darlene that you intend to start producing heroin again. and they have instructed us to warn you not to. not a joke. >> no? >> no. >> darlene and jacob were in their farm well before you guys ever came to the ozarks, so -- >> okay, but we did come. it's a different world now. that's a fact. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's jason bateman as marty bird and his friend darlene. more on the issues of "ozark."
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this is season 4 but it's like a double season? >> i don't -- we don't -- >> jimmy: there's seven episodes coming out tomorrow. >> yeah right. so we usually do 10 episodes person. but we knew this was going to be the last season. we had more story to tell than 10 episodes so 14 episodes. then netflix thought, let's split it up, 7 and 7. the first 7 are this friday, then the second 7 will be on at a date yet to be announced. >> jimmy: i see. >> but it will be kind of soon. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what i'm trying to figure out is, did we get bonus episodes? or did we get cheated? >> that's just it. it's -- i'll tell you who got cheated, it's the people who were looking for season 5 rates. >> jimmy: i see. >> so we got 40 episodes of season 4 rates, you know. these people at netflix, they're smart people. >> jimmy: you don't get 4 1/2? they just raised the prices on the damn thing. >> we're extremely thrilled with everything and anything to do with netflix and the show. i hope you guys are excited by
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how the plane lands as we are. >> jimmy: i'm excited about it, i can't speak for everyone. [ cheers and applause ] september 19th. september 19th, 19 -- i have it written down -- 1984. does that ring a bell? >> that was the olympic year? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> summer olympics? >> jimmy: they were over by then. >> that was l.a., yes. >> jimmy: september 19th, 1984, is the might you made your first appearance on "the tonight show" with johnny carson. >> with all the success, being young in high school, does this help with the young ladies? >> uh -- it's -- it's -- advantageous to initially meet the girl. >> uh-huh? >> but -- i don't really want to go out with a girl because she likes me because i'm an actor, something like that. you know. i want her to go out with me because she likes me as a person. >> yeah. >> i just broke up with this girl i was going out with -- >> you were going -- do they use
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the term going steady anymore? >> that's -- well, back -- i think about ten years ago, they used going steady. >> oh. my mail has been slow, i didn't know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's so nuts. what goes through your head when you see that? >> well, my first thought was, did i not know i was going on television that night? [ laughter ] could i not grab a pair of socks? >> jimmy: i feel like a lot of thought was put into that, i'll tell you why a lot of thought was put into that outfit. in your publicity photo for "it's your move" -- >> same sweater. >> jimmy: it's the same sweater. you do have socks on. >> i went from that shoot to johnny, and i thought, i've got to hip it up, it's a night show. >> jimmy: i think you look younger, but maybe that's makeup. then we have "bop" magazine. guess what you were wearing? >> no! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very same sweater.
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[ applause ] and -- >> guess who had a favorite sweatshirt? >> jimmy: yes, who's got another one? so that's a little something. you know. might be a little large. do you want to put it on? there you go. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, this is going to be great. let's have a look. oh, great. wonderful. [ cheers and applause ] looks really good. just lose the socks and we'll really have something. >> put the microphone right here. >> jimmy: jason, you have been on television for a really, really long time. >> god, i hope people are tuning in right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i do want to get back to -- it looks like your puppet died. [ laughter ] >> keep talking, stall. >> jimmy: look what a pro he is. he knows how to put on his own mic -- that's a whole life lesson what is that is. [ cheers and applause ] i do want to get back to "ozark" for a minute because "ozark" is,
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as mentioned, one of my favorite shows. normally we'd only show one clip from a show. >> we're doing a double clip? >> jimmy: it's a double clip night. >> guys, guys. >> jimmy: double clip. >> this doesn't happen. >> jimmy: it never happens. [ cheers and applause ] since you guys split the season into two parts -- >> oh, this is a joke. >> jimmy: we've split your clips -- >> son of a bitch. something hurtful, everybody, get ready! >> jimmy: let's watch and let the audience decide. >> it's advantageous to initially meet the girl. but -- i don't really want to go out with a girl because she likes me because i'm an actor, something like that. you know. i want to go out with her because she likes me as a person. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hilarious. it's hilarious. i do sound like a little 11-year-old girl. >> jimmy: well, if you want to go see an 11-year-old girl all grown up, he's on tour with the "smartless" guys.
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tickets are practically sold out so you're probably screwed on that. season 4 of "ozark" premieres tomorrow night on netflix. jason bateman, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with ashley park. psoriasis really messes with you. try. hope. fail. i felt defeated. the pain, the stares. no one should suffer like that. i said, enough. i started cosentyx®. five years clear. four years clear. five years and counting. cosentyx works fast. for clear skin that can last. real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections some serious, and a lowered ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, or if you've had a vaccine or plan to. tell your doctor if your crohn's disease symptoms develop or worsen. serious allergic reactions may occur. best move i ever made. i feel so much better. see me. ask your dermatologist about cosentyx. [tv chatter] [doorbell]
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hi, welcome back. laufey is on the way. our next guest is a tony and grammy-nominated performer you know as the cabaret singing "zipper princess" on the hugely popular series "emily in paris." season two is on netflix now. please welcome ashley park. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? >> oh my god! jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's me. it'yo >> jimmy: how's everything going? >> so great. >> jimmy: congratulations on the show. i know it's super, super crazy popular. in fact, you guys got picked up for seasons three and four, right? >> yeah, thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a big deal. because you know, bateman's
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season got chopped right in half. you guys got double, it's ridiculous. >> we're so grateful. thank you, netflix. thank you, everyone, for watching. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you speak -- i know you speak french on the show. do you really speak french? >> i did take six years of french in middle school and high school. i am not fluent. >> jimmy: i see. >> but yes. but i -- what's funny is i, especially this past season, have run into a lot of locals who have seen the show. they assume i'm fluent. >> jimmy: right. >> because the character is fluent in french. >> jimmy: that's great. >> it's rather interesting. i'll be at a restaurant and a waiter will come up and i'll take off my mask. they'll say, oh my gosh! they'll start rattling off in french. i do not want to owe phoned them, so i nod and say oui. they'll say the specials in french and everything. i have ended up with like three meals before because i kept on saying yes. [ laughter ] but i'm getting better.
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i'm determined, season three and four, i will become more fluent. >> jimmy: seems like you must be doing a pretty good job with the french you speak on the show if they think you're fluent. and it doesn't seem -- is it ever a problem for you? i mean, is it -- >> yeah, i mean, i've run into -- one situation that was rather interesting, i do sing on the show. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's one day i was singing on a bridge these two songs. it was freezing cold. and i think everybody was in a parka, i was in this slinky summer dress. and i could -- when you've been so cold you can feel yourself catching a cold as the day goed goes on. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. so they sent a doctor. this esteemed french doctor to my apartment. >> jimmy: how did you know he was esteemed? who told you? >> they told me. and i stressed -- he seemed centeresteemed. he came in like -- >> jimmy: okay, now you've sold me. >> thank you. no, he had his doctor bag. >> jimmy: he had a bag? >> yeah, he had a bag. one of those leather satchel
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bags. i feel like that's ledgit, righ? >> jimmy: not too many doctors have the bag anymore. if you have the bag, you're serious, sure. >> anyways, immediately he was like, oh, oh, you! he recognized. then he started speaking really fast in french. and i just went along with it again, because i couldn't speak. and he looked at my mouth and he was like, tonsillitis! and i was like, tonsillitis, i know what that is. yeah, that's not great. can we fix that? can we fix that, please? he was like, sure. he took his special bag out. >> jimmy: to take out your tonsils? [ laughter ] >> yeah. and -- well, he took out all these chemical things. i was like, those look awesome, put those inside, let's get going. he went to inject me, i gave him his arm. he's like, no arm, can you lay down? sure. i laid down on my couch. then he said, no, on the stomach. i was like, oh, you want me
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facing down to -- to get the injection? he was like, yes. then i realized quickly that we are going to be injecting it into my butt cheek. >> jimmy: oh. >> which is like -- he explained to me, don't be scared, this is the fastest way for medicine to reach your body. i think babies get shots in their butt, right? >> jimmy: i've had this with a throat problem, yeah, i was hosting -- i swear. >> really? are you being funny? >> jimmy: i'm not joking. it was before -- i think i was hosting the emmys or something, i was losing my voice. the doctor came and gave me a shot in the ass, yeah. [ laughter ] >> maybe this happened to you too, what i'm about to say. i was like, as he was nearing me with the needle, he could see i was scared of the needle, i think i was clenching hard. [ laughter ] he was like, oh, do you want me to numb, numb it? and i was like, yes, numb it. i thought he had a topical cream or salve or something. he used an old-fashioned technique he swears by, which is he slapped me really hard on the
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butt. [ laughter ] then injected me. what i will say is -- >> jimmy: wait a minute, hold on. [ laughter ] he smacked you? >> to his credit, i didn't really -- again, didn't understand what was going on. so what i will say, though, is that this technique, if you ever have to get a shot in your butt, next time you host the emmys and have to get a shot in your butt -- >> jimmy: i should ask my doctor to spank me? [ laughter ] >> the spanking is [ bleep ], i'm telling you. [ applause ] because i didn't feel a thing. and i was on -- you can watch that episode. it was great. >> jimmy: you got a little slap on the baton mouje, sounds like. you sang a bts song on the show. i wonder what the fallout is. we've had bts on our show, and people are absolutely -- their fans, they will camp out. they're probably still out in the parking lot waiting for the next time they come on. they are absolutely crazed for these guys.
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and -- >> army. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to be careful with an army, because they could attack. >> well, i am army. >> jimmy: you're part of the army? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, then you won't get attacked. [ cheers and applause ] >> but i don't even realize how much i was army until this happened. like -- and i also -- okay. so -- i -- we knew we were going to sing a song for the first episode. i think i threw out there, oh my gosh, maybe they'll let me cover a song by my favorite band bts, i don't know. i threw it out there. a couple days before we were going to shoot this scene, we had a whole costume and everything already. they got the rights. the producers miraculously got the rights to "dynamite." i remember being on set, i was super nervous. i hadn't been in front of a live audience in a while too. and lily collins, who's the best, most supportive person on set ever, i was like, if bts were ever to see this in an alternate universe, i would want to make them as proud as they
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have made me. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> as a korean, as an artist. we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. fast forward to the show coming out. bts, all the members just got to have their individual instagram accounts. like a week before. which is very exciting for me as a fan. >> jimmy: yeah, like donald trump's not even allowed to have that, yeah. [ laughter and moans ] >> and so r.m., rap monster, the leader of the group, who you've met -- >> jimmy: i've met him, yeah. >> i shouldn't talk about this i'm going to start hyperventilating. >> jimmy: oh, good. >> okay, ashley, okay. anyway, the show comes up and r.m. posted on his instagram story a clip of it and was laughing along. and i was like, you know, dressed as a half man, half woman, with a moustache. like, he could be laughing at me but i'm just internalizing that he's laughing. a couple of days later, v. posted on his feed the videod of
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the number -- like a bunch of people -- right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kind of like you're in bts now. >> i was getting a manicure at the time and i couldn't stop shaking. it's a miracle i got a manicure. >> jimmy: i can see you're getting crazy about it right now. >> no, jimmy, i'm cool. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's all right. >> anyway, they posted -- the whole rest of the day, as soon as he had posted that, i couldn't think. i couldn't talk. i couldn't get up. and i was like, is this what it feels like when your body goes into shock? my sinuses, my head was like this. and i was like, i've never had this experience before. i've never been a fangirl to this extent. there is no world in which i thought they would even see it, let alone post it and approve it. anyways. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so i woke up, 24 hours, my friend carley came over to my hotel, i was like, i don't know how to go beyond this, what is
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beyond this? i don't know. the next day i had to take a covid test. i had omicron. which is why i was in such a fog. >> jimmy: oh! >> like, the whole day before when i could not get up -- but i didn't think it was covid because i thought this was me going into shock. >> jimmy: bts fever, yeah. they're both dangerous, you're lucky to come out of those alive. it's great to have you here. "emily in paris" is on netflix now. ashley park, everybody! thank you, ashley. we'll be back with laufey! >> leo: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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>> leo: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: that's a wolf moon. i want to thank jason bateman and ashley park. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, her ep is called "typical of me." making her u.s. network television debut with the song "like the movies," laufey! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ maybe one day i'll fall in a bookstore into the arms of a guy ♪ ♪ we'll sneak into bars and gaze at the stars surrounded by fireflies ♪ ♪ oh, i'd like to sleep in till two on a sunday ♪ ♪ and listen to the bluebirds sigh ♪ ♪ get soaked in the rain and smile through the pain ♪ ♪ slow dance under stormy skies ♪ ♪ maybe i'm just old fashioned ♪
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♪ read too many fairytales it's no wonder i've had no luck ♪ ♪ no one's ever good enough i want a love like i've seen in the movies ♪ ♪ that's why i'll never fall in love ♪ snets da da da la la la da da da la la la ♪ ♪ da da da la la la da da da la la la ♪ ♪ da da da la la la da da da la la la ♪ ♪ da da da da da da ♪ ♪ maybe i'm just old fashioned ♪ ♪ read too many fairytales
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, ghislaine maxwell. constitute conviction of jeffrey epstein's madam be thrown out? >> this is an absolute nightmare situation for any prosecutor. >> her lawyers calling for a new trial after a juror's shocking revelation. it's the latest twist in the saga which also includes prince andrew's civil case that has the british royal family on the defensive. >> your royal highness -- >> why the queen's second son has been banished from public life. plus bob saget's legacy. his widow kelly rizzo's heartbreak, remembering the love of his life. >> he just wanted to spread love and laughter, and he did it so amazingly. >> how
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