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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 28, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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enjoy the ballgame. have a great weekend. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- rob lowe. francia raisa. and music from joy oladokun. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, thank you. hi, welcome. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. we're glad you're here. [ cheers and applause ] please, relax. i know it is -- oh, man, it was very cold here in l.a. today. 64 degrees it got down to. [ laughter ] i had to wear two layers of yoga pants to work this morning. [ laughter ] we think it's cold.
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we complain about it being cold. but it's not cold. it is windy and cold most everyplace else. this is what people are dealing with in the midwest. courtesy of a nest cam, a man in crystal lake, illinois. you can see his very sporty rims there. was exceptionally careful not to slip on the ice. on his way into his house. and in fact, he did not slip on the ice. [ laughter ] but his car almost immediately did. and then -- like a penguin headed for the sea, he went sliding after it. that's kind of how it's gone with covid, you know? just when we thought we made it, right back down the driveway we go. [ laughter ] but this is interesting. we could have a two-fer as far as vaccines go. moderna is working on a shot that would protect you from covid and the flu at the same time. they were apparently inspired by the genius who came up with the combined taco bell/pizza hut. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and those jars of peanut butter with jelly in them. they say this could be the smuckers goobie -- goober
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event -- i can't say it. guillermo? >> guillermo: i can't say it. >> jimmy: i know. [ laughter ] moderna says the combination covid-flu shot could be available by next winter. and pfizer has something similar going. pfizer is working on a shot that protects you from covid and gives you an erection. [ laughter ] but i like this. it's especially good for kids like mine who hate getting shots. and even militant anti-vaxers, this is great for them, they don't have to run all over town making death threats to two different pharmacists now. [ laughter ] here in the united states, making the shots isn't our problem. taking the shots is the issue we have. of 15 countries surveyed, the u.s. has the second-lowest vaccination rate in the world. it's not even close. we're at 66%. the next lowest country, japan, is at 84%. it's almost like people here are getting bad information from someplace, you know? [ laughter ] the only country below us on the list is russia. which is kind of nice. our countries haven't been on the same page like this since rocky fought drago.
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[ laughter ] the part of all this i'm most confused by is the 6% of americans who says they are "planning to get vaccinated." okay, yeah, when? the vaccine has been out for more than a year. how busy could you be? [ laughter ] the government today -- you know how biden said he'd be sending us free tests? well, the website is up and running a day ahead of schedule. you get four tests per household, which is great news for people who live alone and literally no one else. [ laughter ] what if you have a family of five? do you start ranking your children? i don't know. [ laughter ] the tests are expected to ship within 7 to 12 days. which is good. free covid tests by mail. what a great idea if this was a year ago. [ laughter ] you know, biden's original plan was you send in a bunch of cereal box tops. [ laughter ] but that didn't work. now he's on to this. we've seen a lot of people making a case for vaccination, from dr. fauci to olivia rodrigo
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to arnold schwarzenegger. all of them. but my opinion is no living person has made a more compelling argument to get the shot than this news commentator from mexico. his name is leonardo schwebel. he cleared all possible language barriers to make his case. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mucho bueno! well done, leonardo schwebel! [ laughter ] i may make that my ring tone. [ laughter ] in hong kong, the government is
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fighting covid in the animal kingdom. authorities in hong kong announced they will be euthanizing about 2,000 small animals, including hamsters and chinchillas, after rodents at a pet store tested positive for covid-19 where an infected employee was working. people who purchased animals after january 7th will be forced to quarantine and hand over their hamsters to authorities to be put down. >> jimmy: hand over your hamsters? this doesn't make sense to me. don't hamsters already live in quarantine? [ laughter ] it's not like they're going out to eat, right? [ laughter ] i mean, what's the plastic ball for if not this? [ laughter ] omicron is also wreaking havoc on the winter olympics, which are set to start next month in beijing. china yesterday announced they won't be selling tickets. there will be no spectators at any of the events. they have decided to ban foreigners from visiting and several countries, including the u.s., are advising athletes not to bring their cell phones with them.
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because they think the chinese government is likely to try to track and hack into them. boy, the olympic committee really hit it out of the park on this one, didn't they? [ laughter ] let's see. covid-paranoid surveillance onc and no snow -- winter olympics, here we come! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] back here at home in america, the mypillow man, mike lindell, is having some trouble in the money department. the trouble is, no one wants his money. mike claims that not one, but two different financial institutions have asked him to leave their bank. according to a representative from one of the banks, having a business relationship with mike lindell is a reputation risk, which is understandable, given the fact that he is a nationally known crazy person. [ laughter ] mike is obviously upset. so much so that during an appearance in arizona over the weekend, he shared audio he claims came from a phone conversation between one of his employees and one of his banks. listen.
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>> whenever a bank closes your account, you're on a bad boy list. we are not closing your account. so we're just asking you to close it. >> okay, i'll close it tomorrow! >> jimmy: yeah. at this rate, mike is blowing through money so much, i have a feeling this problem is going to resolve itself on its own. [ laughter ] nothing can stop this man's can-do spirit. this is a man who takes life's lemons and makes hats out of them. [ laughter ] and his latest business venture might be his best idea yet. >> hello, i'm mike lindell, inventor of mypillow. with an exciting new business venture i can't wait to tell you about. after years of searching, i just couldn't find the right financial institution to fit my needs, on account of my ties to seditionists and attempts to overturn a u.s. election. so i made a bank of my own. i call it mybank. mybank is a different kind of bank, where we trust our
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customers so much, we got loose pens. see, no chains on them. one time i got myself all tangled up in one of these darn things and damn near strangled myself. oh! banking with mybank is easy. just put your cash in an envelope and mail to it mybank at 1121122teen1122, mybank of minnesota, 11221111. once we receive your dough it will be stuffed into one of these luxurious cotton cases. holy hell, feel that sateen weave. carefully accounted for by my nephew juno. don't worry about security, no one would dare rob us because this whole place is rigged to blow. but that's not all. we got safe deposit boxes to protect your priceless collections of chewing gum and kitten teeth.
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and mybank is the first financial institution to deal directly in human sperm. just fill up a jug and we'll save your baby gravy to ensure many future generations of patriotic caucasian americans. mybank is proudly not backed by the fdic because we don't need no stinking government sniffing around our loot. void where prohibited. mybank not responsible if your money is stolen or wet. so send all your dough to mybank. we're not clowning around. >> clowns? >> no, juno, no! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like it. we are learning more about what went down in the aftermath of january 6th. this little nugget tells you all you need to know about the dum dums who stormed the capitol. on january 7th, the day after
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the riot, some of these nuts started calling, of all people, nancy pelosi, to see if she could help them find stuff they left behind while ransacking her office. [ laughter ] this is true. according to congressman jamie raskin of maryland, some of the rioters called the capitol offices to ask whether there was a lost and found because they forgot their phone there, or they left their purse or what have you. [ laughter ] so raskin said law enforcement officers got on the phone, took down their names, addresses, social security numbers, and then used that information to find and arrest them. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] which is wonderful. and interesting. in fact, very interesting. i wanted to find out more. we asked the director of the lost and found department at the capitol to videochat. and she very graciously said yes. she's with us now. please welcome samantha sonnig. [ cheers and applause ] hello. thanks for speaking with us, miss sonnig. >> thank you so much for having me, jimmy. >> jimmy: so, after the insurrection, items were left behind. >> that's correct, yeah. >> jimmy: have they all been claimed? >> no, most of the items have not actually been claimed. >> jimmy: so do you have a list of all the unclaimed stuff from that time?
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>> actually, we have the items themselves. >> jimmy: great! >> here in person. >> jimmy: can we see those? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: excellent. >> okay. first off, there are a lot of cargo shorts. [ laughter ] like so many cargo shorts. oh -- and this one had a jimmy dean's breakfast sausage. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> i'm going to get hungry later. we also have about four dozen pairs of oakley sunglasses. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all oakley sunglasses? >> all oakley. >> jimmy: why do you think they're all oakley sunglasses? >> i think oakley sunglasses make a statement. and that statement is, "i'm the coach of this tee ball team. and if my son strikes out, i will spit in an umpire's face." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. all right. what else you got in the box? >> we have this fur hat, which is kind of cool. i think it's made out of buffalo, which is awesome. look, i'm jamiroqui! >> jimmy: i think those might be underpants you have on your head.
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>> oh -- god, you're right, they're underpants. >> jimmy: gross. >> so silly. >> jimmy: that's pretty gross. >> they're still a little wet. >> jimmy: yeah. >> let's see what else. we have these truck nutz. [ laughter ] we have this monster energy drink that's turned into a pcp pipe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: cool. >> we have -- oh, god. this is something. we have confederate flag jesus. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. [ laughter ] >> for all you history buffs out there, we have an arrest warrant for mr. michael pence. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not how you spell arrest, warrant, or pence, actually, either. >> it's the thought that counts. >> jimmy: true. >> what else did these [ bleep ] leave in here? let's see. we have a bill gates voodoo doll. we have a bass pro shop thong for the ladies out there. [ laughter ] that's kind of fun. we have a wallet chain with a
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wallet. a jimmy buffett belt buckle. we have this picture that says "i heart granddaughter" with a picture -- >> jimmy: hold it, it looks like you. in fact, it's even wearing the same thing you're wearing. >> why -- >> jimmy: it has a microphone on, as far as i can tell. [ laughter ] >> um -- can you just give me a second? just one second. >> jimmy: yeah. >> just have to make a phone call. >> jimmy: okay. everything all right? >> hi, mamaw, it's samantha, uh-huh. yeah, no, i'm good. no, he died, mamaw. he died a long time ago. listen, what were you doing on january 6th last year? mamaw, no, i'm not with nancy pelosi. you cannot use the "c" word, mamaw, i'm on tv -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this sounds personal, i'm going to let you deal with that. i appreciate the look and thank you, samantha. >> i think i found your underwear here. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my god.
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well, we have a fine show for you tonight. from "how i met your father," francia raisa is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from joy oladokun. and we'll be right back with rob lowe. so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (vo) for me, one of the best things about life is that we keep moving forward. we discover exciting new technologies. redefine who we are and how we want to lead our lives. basically, choose what we want our future to look like. so what's yours going to be? my plaque psoriasis... ...the itching... the burning. the stinging. my skin was no longer mine. my psoriatic arthritis, made my joints stiff,
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♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, from the new show "how i met your father," which you can see on hulu, francia raisa is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, she is a talented singer-songwriter from casa grande, arizona. her album is called "in defense of my own happiness." music from joy oladokun. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, rachel brosnahan and eric andre will join us, with music from damon albarn.
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and on thursday, jason bateman, ashley park, and music from ghost. so please join us for all that. our first guest is an actor who has been a beloved part of our lives since we had lives. [ laughter ] he hosts two podcasts and puts out fictional fires in "911: lone star," monday nights on fox. please welcome rob lowe. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: good to see you. were you dressed as a firefighter earlier today? >> i was. i did two rescues -- i've saved two lives today alone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you're also -- not only are you saving lives, you're hosting two podcasts. >> i have "literally with rob lowe," conversations with interesting people. you are one of my favorite guests i've had. >> jimmy: i had fun with you. you know what, no one has ever let me go on and on for 17 minutes about mr. roboto before. [ laughter ]
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the styx song. >> if you're not interested in 17 minutes of you and i talking about "mr. roboto," you're not our audience. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're not our people. >> you're not our people. 17 minutes about mr. roboto. >> jimmy: it was fun. >> it was so fun. >> jimmy: do you talk about mr. roboto with everyone? >> yeah. you know. open were, big "mr. roboto" fan. >> jimmy: how many times has oprah been on your show? >> twice. >> jimmy: unbelievable. how many podcasts have you done? >> i just did my 90th. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and you've had oprah two times? >> cool, right? >> jimmy: how do you get oprah the second time? i can see the first time, you've probably known her for years. you sit in her vegetable garden, say i'm not leaving? >> this is how you've done however many shows you've done, you think like a producer. i'm the same. she's my neighbor. you ask her, she doesn't get back to you. you ask her, she refers you to stedman. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> you ask her, she asks gayle. you ask her, she gives you the cold shoulder again.
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then you egg her house. [ laughter ] and she says yes. >> jimmy: can you imagine if you egged oprah's house? oh man. >> first of all, you'd have to have an arm of aaron rodgers to get it from the gate to the house, you know what i'm saying? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, the suspect list would be pretty small. also, a volcano would open under your home or something like that. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oprah two times. >> people i know and love, mcconaughey, gwyneth paltrow, magic johnson. >> jimmy: charles barkley? >> charles barkley. music, lindsay buckingham of fleetwood mac and i get to nerd out. >> jimmy: right. >> kenny loggins. i'm like, why did you just use michael mcdonald for every background vocal you ever had? >> jimmy: why wouldn't you? [ applause ] >> these what he said. >> jimmy: i have a funny story about kenny loggins. something that happened here. maybe if you have him on again -- >> tell me, give to it me. >> jimmy: tom cruise was here. we thought it would be fun to have kenny loggins sit in. >> "danger zone." >> jimmy: right.
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guess what, they'd never met before. that was the first time they'd ever met. >> that's amazing. >> jimmy: here on the show. >> a great story, i said, how did you get your music in "top gun"? i just assumed they would go to him, he's kenny loggins. >> jimmy: right. >> no. >> jimmy: what? >> he has a sit in a theater with the guys from journey and whitesnake. >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> donna summer. they're all scheming about how they get their songs in it. and he goes, you know what? when he saw the volleyball scene, he goes, no one's going to write a song for the volleyball scene. i will. [ laughter ] and that's how he got his first song in, and then "danger zone." the lead singer canceled and jojo maroder called kenny, said you're already on the soundtrack, will you come in and sing? >> jimmy: wow, that's crazy. >> these are the nuggets you get. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good nugget. that's better than a chicken nugget. speaking of nuggets. you had gwyneth paltrow on the show. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you learned something very, very interesting about her.
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>> what? >> jimmy: very interesting, personally interesting. >> about my wife? >> jimmy: about what your wife -- she taught your wife -- your wife taught her? >> yes. well, here's the thing. the good news is my wife doesn't watch anything i do, so she won't be watching this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, right. >> but my wife, when gwyneth was a little precocious 18-year-old, my wife was still a makeup artist on a movie that gwyneth's mother, blythe danner, was working on. gwyneth came to visit. cheryl would give her cigarettes. they'd go out and smoke behind the trailer. she was like a big sister to gwyneth, still is. gwyneth told me on the podcast, i had no idea, i must thank her, that my wife taught gwyneth how to -- how should we say this on network television? >> jimmy: i think "perform oral sex" would be the way to go. [ cheers and applause ] a very nice thing for her to do. >> or as i like to say, chris martin and brad falchuk, you're welcome.
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[ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel apologies are in order to this young man who tweeted, after reading this story, gwyneth paltrow reveals the sex tips she picked up, rob lowe's wife. 2020's been a wild ride, but this has settled it for me, i choose death by murder hornets, this is your son. [ applause ] >> i get it. i get it. that's not a visual that those boys are interested in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> i mean, that's a -- i think the therapy bills will be coming to me. >> jimmy: you mentioned in passing, speaking to john stamos, that there was a time in the '80s where you and jack nicholson went on the road with the lakers. >> yes. >> jimmy: what year was that, do you remember? >> i feel sports fans will know better. it was lakers, detroit pistons -- >> jimmy: like '87? >> '86, '87? >> jimmy: so you went to -- >> on the road to detroit. >> jimmy: just to detroit. did you go on the team plane? >> well, i had. you know.
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pat riley ended up barring me from going on the team plane. and really barred me from staying in the team hotel. >> jimmy: why? what did you do? >> well, jimmy, it was the '80s. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you saying you were a bad influence on the lakers? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] really? wow. >> i mean, what a badge of honor to be banned by pat riley, come on. >> jimmy: yeah, no kidding. >> right? >> jimmy: no kidding. that's crazy. >> historic. >> jimmy: do you remember any moments or anything that you observed? >> it might have -- it might have been when i gave a player, who shall go nameless, a quaalude. and they went on an 0 for 60 shooting slump. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. >> i'm just saying. right now people are googling it. >> jimmy: was it really over 60? >> in all seriousness, i think it was 0 for 32. [ laughter ] really. >> jimmy: well, it wasn't a.c.
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green. >> stop it, you're going to get me in trouble! >> jimmy: it has to be a guard because nobody could be -- >> killing me. >> jimmy: if you're right -- if kareem went 0 for 30 -- wow, that's good stuff. >> really true. but that's what's fun about doing the podcast. where else are those stories going to come up? >> jimmy: nobody has better stories than you do, really. when we come back, rob lowe has mre wonderful stories about quaaludes and the lakers and oral sex when we come back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ seed from this website, but they're recommending cat food. i think we need a cat. they know us so well. ♪ who wants a kitty cat? who wants... ♪ you want a kitty cat. ♪ we're completely out of flour. i'm trying to order more, but this site's so bad. i usually just type in flour 100 times until it works. what a great idea! this is great. ♪
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>> jimmy: yeah, that's one ass-kicking firefighter right there. rob lowe is back. that is "911: lone star." >> head butt! >> jimmy: i was not expecting that at all, not expecting the head butt. nor was he, obviously. >> he's a coyote and those people needed help. >> jimmy: if there's one thing you hate, it's coyotes. >> and human trafficking, won't stand for it. >> jimmy: do you think you could put out a fire if there was one on the set? >> bro, i can fake help in almost any area you want. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are there guys around for situations like that? >> the thing is with actors, you fake-learn how to look like you know what you're doing in some -- if god forbid someone were to get sick in the audience, i could look like i was helping them, you'd be amazed. [ laughter ] you don't actually want me putting out a fire. >> jimmy: i see. you wouldn't be able to perform cpr or any of those things? >> look, i could probably do cpr. actually, you do know a ton.
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it's surprising, the level of knowledge. it does help in life if you ever run up against that stuff. like, that's a fake fight. i didn't hit him. >> jimmy: right. >> so my biggest fear is, i ever get in a fight, i'm going to purposely miss everybody by three inches and get killed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your son, johnny, a writer on the show? >> yes. >> jimmy: your brother, chad, directs some of the episodes? >> yes. >> jimmy: how does that -- he's your little brother, do you take direction from your little brother? >> he knows enough to approach me correctly. >> jimmy: i see, okay. you could almost punch him. >> i'd punch him, i'd really punch him. but it is kind of like -- i never would have thought as an 8-year-old in ohio, wanting to be an actor, wanting to come out here, that there would come a day where i'd be, you know, the lead on the show directed by my brother, written by my son. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's crazy, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: speaking of, this week's "people" magazine. you were on the cover of "people" magazine. [ cheers and applause ] "how i survived hollywood."
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i feel it's too soon to make that declaration. [ laughter ] >> i might not survive this interview. it could end at any moment, i'm well aware. >> jimmy: this is your most recent major magazine cover. this i believe to be, and correct me if i'm wrong, your first magazine cover. this is from 1983, "interview" magazine. andy warhol was one of the editors. >> it was andy warhol's magazine. >> jimmy: he owned this magazine? >> owned it, it was his vision, yeah. >> jimmy: did you know andy? >> i did. i was lucky enough to spend a pretty significant amount of time with him. my biggest andy memory was, we all went to that famous diana ross concert that got rained out. afterwards we kind of took shelter in a restaurant. it was one of those restaurants where you could draw on the tables with crayons. they had the -- >> jimmy: yeah, the paper and the -- yeah. >> andy was like, i have a game. it's not really a great andy warhol but you believed it, right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've never had dinner
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with him, seemed perfect to me. >> he's like, so let's all draw in secret, so no one can look at what we're drawing, the best version we can think of of a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] i was like -- all right. young. now that's in my wheelhouse, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: yeah, you're like, which kind are you looking for here? >> i draw like a gynecological out of the "joy of sex" version. i show mine. the other person shows. we get to andy, he reveals it. of course he's drawn a cat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a cat, yeah. >> i feel ashamed and embarrassed. the thing was, i was too young and wasn't bold enough. i wanted to take -- we signed it. he said, now you have to sign it because that's what artists do. and signed "andy warhol" was sitting on that table. and i was too young and scared and naive to take it.
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>> jimmy: doonlgs do you think the bus boy got it? >> i heard, and he talks about it in "the andy warhol diaries," he talks about the story. i heard that it sold about ten years ago for $1.5 million. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. and how about your vagina? how much did that sell for? [ applause ] >> zero. >> jimmy: well, boy. you really have the best stories. [ laughter ] two podcasts to tell them on. >> "literally." and "parks and recollection." [ cheers and applause ] if you like "parks and recreation." >> jimmy: all the stories from the show? >> all the stories hosted by alan yang, one of the great writers. he and i go through every single episode. >> jimmy: also "911: lone star" monday nights 8:00 on fox. rob lowe, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with francia raisa. ype 2 diabetes zo? once-weekly ozempic® can help. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic®! ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ ozempic® is proven to lower a1c.
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>> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. music from joy oladokun is on
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the way. our next guest is a star of a atoople in the same n old show, apartment as the new show. it's called "how i met your father." it's streaming on hulu now. please welcome francia raisa. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? it's a very energetic way to enter a room. i could never do that, not in a million years. >> there's music playing, i find any excuse to shake my tailfeathers. >> jimmy: did you bring a book in case you got bored? >> i brought a book just for you. years ago i was hoping to be on this show. i've had so many stories that happened in my life, crazy stories. my friend was like, this would be a great jimmy kimmel story. and i said, oh my gosh, you're right. years were going by and i had so many jimmy kimmel stories that i had to start writing them down
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in my journal, so this is my jimmy journal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's got my name on it, can i look at it? >> you can't look in it, you can look at it. >> jimmy: it just says jimmy, dosn't say my last name. >> i didn't know if you were going to reject me. this happens in the industry. >> jimmy: just in case? >> yeah. you get used to it. it always hurts. but you know, i didn't know if you were going to reject me. but i don't look at the front because i've written so much. then i opened it, and i did write your name on it. >> jimmy: you did? how about that. >> look at the power of this. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so strange, i feel like i'm a part of your life. >> you are part of my life. >> jimmy: what kind of story will we find in this journal with my name on it? >> in the beginning i wrote a story, the time i ended up topless in a hot tub with tyra banks. >> jimmy: that's definitely a jimmy story, go ahead. [ laughter ] >> tyra and i were doing a movie "life size 2" in 2018.
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she was wanting to bond, playing bffs, she was like, why don't we go to the spa? great. she goes, you have a car, why don't you pick me up. can you imagine driving a supermodel in your car? >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> in atlanta, where i didn't know these streets at all. >> jimmy: what kind of car did you have? >> a rental, a sedan. i drive an suv. so a toyota camry? i was like, i don't know this car, i don't know where i'm going. i was like, yeah, i'll pick you up. [ laughter ] no big deal. >> jimmy: maybe she was off the bat trying to establish the nature of your relationship would be you're the one who picks her up, et cetera. >> et cetera. well, then let's maybe she did this on purpose. what happened was i picked her up. i'm driving 10 and 2, eye on the road. that's the only time i've ever driven 10 and 2. sorry, dmv. we get to the spa, she wanted to show up an hour early so we can go in the hot tub. we get to the lockers and she goes, [ bleep ], i forgot my bathing suit!
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and at that point i have my bathing suit in my hand. oh my god, i can't just shove it in and pretend it forgot it too, she's looking at me. i have a decision to make. do i let this supermodel go in the hot tub butt naked, or join her? i wanted to offer to go in naked but that was weird. [ laughter ] "do you want me to go in naked with you?" but if you're not, "i'm naked, wish i wasn't the only one." so i went halfsies, i went topless. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it's good to compromise. >> i love a compromise. >> jimmy: it's the first time you've met? >> first time. >> jimmy: you get in the thing, and tyra banks is a ridiculously, spectacularly beautiful supermodel, obviously. >> and she's naked where you are and i am. >> jimmy: are people going wild? or is there any reaction from the spa? >> you know what, there was a god or something. we were the only ones in there in the hot tub at the moment. and so no one else noticed. but i'm sitting here like, you're butt naked in front of me. she was like, oh, our massages are up, we're going to get out.
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okay, do i go first? [ laughter ] how do we do it? she went first. >> jimmy: she went first, that's proper, that's how it's supposed to go. >> and i looked that way. [ laughter ] kind of being respectful. stories like that are in my book. >> jimmy: she seems like she wa. you went and got a couples massage? >> we got separate massages. then we took a nap after, together. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. i mean, separate chairs. >> jimmy: you took a nap together? >> it was her idea. >> jimmy: that's the weirdest part of the story. [ laughter and applause ] >> you're tired after a massage, that's all you want is a nap. before i drove back, a nap. dad.immy: i'm interested in you- your dad, for those who don't know, probably most people don't know, was a radio deejay. still working as a deejay? >> in mexico. >> jimmy: el cucuy is the name. i remember seeing signs and billboards and everything for him -- there he is, that's your father. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: el cucuy means bogeyman. >> the bogeyman in the morning. they couldn't scare me as a kid. that's one thing they tell kids. if you don't go to sleep, el cucuy is going to get you. i was like, daddy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you weren't scared? >> not scared at all. >> jimmy: what was it like being raised by the bogeyman? >> my dad was raunchy on his show. he wouldn't explain it to us. he'd talk about sex, my mom and him would have bits with each other, calling each other -- [ speaking spanish ] you don't know what that means. >> jimmy: i do, actually, i know all the curse words. [ laughter ] >> they didn't tell me they were curse words, they didn't explain sex to me. because they didn't explain any of the stuff, there was one time where i was at school, there was a condom, a wrapped condom in the big yard. everyone's like, oh my god, a condom! and i was like, yeah, a condom, cool, cool. i'm bilingual, i grew up in the
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only spanish home they didn't teach me this stuff. i'm the only one that opened it. oh, this looks like the balloon animals that clowns use! so i blew it up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, you did, yeah. everyone laughed? >> and i was like, why is this slimy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: never a good question, yeah. [ laughter ] so that's your dad. >> that's my dad. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. your dad got up at 3:00 in the morning and went into work? >> yeah, 5:00 a.m. i never saw him because of that. >> jimmy: did you listen to him ever? >> i didn't want to, he was talking about so many weird, nasty things. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> he did make me go to the radio station with him saturdays. >> jimmy: he had to work saturdays? >> monday through saturday. >> jimmy: that's a nightmare. >> you know. >> jimmy: it's a deejay nightmare, a saturday shift. you would go in there -- >> it was a nightmare when i had to go in, too. i had school monday through friday, then my dad's making me go to school -- not school, to work with him on saturdays, and he had me be part of the program. >> jimmy: that's got to be fun, right? >> it was until i got yelled at
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because i didn't do something right. i want to be sleeping watching "rug rats!" >> jimmy: i want to be topless in a spa with tyra banks, what are you doing? [ laughter ] >> i want to be on a couch with jimmy kimmel, that's not part of my jimmy journal! [ applause ] >> jimmy: "how i met your father," nobody knew what the connection to "how i met your mother" was, right? it's set in the same apartment. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that it? the extent of the connection? >> we drop a few easter eggs throughout the series. i mean, i think it's important to know it is its own show. it has the spirit of the original. but it still feels original. it's all original characters. but the apartment i guess would be like the reboot. then there's the swords. so we're in there. there's a few other -- i can't say stuff that happens. >> jimmy: hilary duff is your costar? >> yes. >> jimmy: had you met her before? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did? >> ten years ago i met hilary at her mom's house. she was nine months pregnant with her first. i get excited when i learn new
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things and i had just learned what a mucous bug was. first thing i asked her, have you lost your mucous bug yet? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a hell of an opener. >> yeah, it was. >> jimmy: probably got that from el cucuy, i would think. >> that's what i'm saying, my dad didn't teach me boundaries. ten years later, auditioning for this, i was like, do you remember me? she was like, yes, i do. i was like, cool, do you want to go to the spa and bond? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: not a bad idea. always a good idea. congratulations on the show, "how i met your father." it's on hulu right now. france yeah raisa, everybody! be right back with joy oladokun! >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to rob lowe and francia raisa. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, rachel brosnahan and eric andre with music from damon albarn. "nightline" is next. but first, her album is called "in defense of my own happiness"
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with the song "i see america," joy oladokun! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i saw god out on the block today ♪ ♪ he was darker than the preachers say ♪ ♪ with a teardrop tattooed on his face and dirt on his fingers ♪ ♪ i heard angels when he laughed the way ♪ ♪ that people do when they have known true pain ♪ ♪ for his sins i don't know who's to blame ♪ ♪ what choice was he given in this world that we're living ♪ ♪ when i see you i see love i see america ♪ ♪ i feel your pain i share your blood i see america ♪
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♪ ♪ said your mother knows a different time ♪ ♪ she lets her tongue slip with a glass of wine ♪ ♪ and says some things out loud that don't feel right ♪ ♪ and you always forgive her ♪ ♪ don't you see the world is changing now ♪ ♪ the blood of the fallen cries out from the ground ♪ ♪ violence and rumors in a southern town ♪ ♪ both start with a whisper but so does the difference ♪ ♪ when i see you i see love i see america ♪ ♪ i feel your pain i share your
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blood i see america ♪ ♪ when i see you i see love i see america ♪ ♪ i feel your pain i share your blood i see america ♪ ♪ when i see you i see love i see america ♪ ♪ i feel your pain i share your blood i see america ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, betting big with paris hilton. >> i always thought of myself and prided myself on being one step ahead. >> the tycoon taking a gamble on hot new trends. the virtual world and nfts. >> $1.11 million for this. >> yes, this is me as an avatar called "the iconic crypto queen." >> is the hype worth the investment? courtroom showdown. disgraced lawyer michael avenatti going after his former client, stormy daniels, using her new paranormal ventures "spooky

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