ama: thanks for joining us. i'm ama daetz. dan: and >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jamie dornan, louisa jacobson, and music from shenseea. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi. how are you doing? thank you very much. guillermo. hi, i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for joining us in southern california. very good to have you here. there are a lot of terrible things happening. but as my 4-year-old son, billy, said this morning on the way to school, "did you know everythings is good excepts for bad stuffs?"

[ laughter ] and i said, "yeah, i know, i'm an adult, i know these things." but he's right, kind of, i think. that bad stuff that happened in washington on january 6th gave way to something good, a bipartisan house select committee investigation. and you're not going to believe this, but they have found evidence that would appear to implicate a former president. ♪ dum dum dum ♪ and that former president is donald trump. ♪ dum dum dum ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i know. i never imagined he could have been involved in this either. apparently he is. according to documents filed yesterday, the house committee claims to have, "a good-faith basis for concluding that the president and members of his campaign engaged in a criminal conspiracy to defraud the united states." they have so much evidence, this morning trump tried to flush himself down the toilet. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the house believes that

john eastman, one of trump's lawyers, helped to advance this "corrupt scheme" as they called it to obstruct the counting of electoral ballots. and he did it in writing. in an email. who would have guessed rudy giuliani would turn out to be trump's second-worst lawyer? [ laughter ] he sent the email at 9:44 pm on january 6th, just a few hours after the storming of the capitol. the feces on the wall of nancy pelosi's office hadn't even dried yet! [ laughter ] another document in the filing was trump's personal schedule on january 6th. you can see handwritten notes at the top. 11:17, talk to senator kelly loeffler. 11:20, talk to vpotus, vice president. i know it wasn't intentional, but a blank space between two parentheses is the most perfect description of mike pence i've ever seen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] should be on his christmas card. and of course, after the news came out, the mad red-hatter banged out a statement lashing out. he wrote, "the unselect committee's sole goal is to try and prevent president trump, who

is leading by large margins in every poll, from running again for president, if i so choose." he refers to himself in the third person and the first person in one sentence. [ laughter ] he released that statement through his spokesperson, because his new billion-dollar social media platform that launched nine days ago still isn't going. he posted there once, the first day, and that was it. this is the one that's supposed to replace twitter, even he's not using it. [ laughter and applause ] in other waste of money news, remember that big, beautiful wall he almost partially built? over the past three years, his border wall has been breached by smugglers 3,272 times. because of the design he personally insisted on. if you have a saw, you can just cut one of the slats at the bottom, and it will dangle from the top. [ laughter ] means you can just burn it open and go through. basically, trump installed a

$15 billion doggy door along the southern border. [ laughter ] >> we're building a wall, nobody's going through my wall. trump builds walls, i build walls. we built a very powerful wall. it was a wall that is virtually impossible to get through. it's very, very tough. it's very strong. it's going to be a real wall. it's going to be an effective wall. the wall is not old-fashioned, the wall is 100% foolproof. by the way, where that wall is, nobody's getting through. nobody. we're going to have a great wall. it's going to be very effective. and in all of those areas where the wall's been put up, it's virtually 100% effective. an unbreakable barrier. virtually impenetrable. impenetrable. impenetrable. this is a massive wall that nobody gets through. nobody's getting through that wall. that wall is the real deal. >> jimmy: 3,272 times in three years. tat's almost three holes a day in the wall.

[ laughter ] if that wall had any more holes in it, it would b the inside of don jr.'s nose. [ cheers and applause ] from the "new york times" last night that said, china asked the russians to delay the invasion of ukraine until after the olympics in beijing. how does that conversation even go? "hey, vlad. listen, i know you had your heart set on killing everyone around valentine's day, could you maybe hold off for a beat, so we can bobsled?" [ laughter ] china denying the story, they called it fake news, which is rich, coming from a country with an owe department of propaganda. china claiming "fake news" is like beyond beef claiming "fake meat." [ laughter ] meanwhile, the ukrainians continue to fight. for their freedom, for their lives. while many of the russian people have no idea why they're in a war. the russian government is working to pass a new law that says anyone who protests the invasion of ukraine has to go fight in it. they will put them right into the military. you have to give them points for creativity. [ laughter ] since there's no free press in

russia, one of the ways that people have been speaking out is by posting anti-war messages on other sites like google and trip advisor, on the reviews. this is a real review for a cafe in moscow. "your government is lying to you about conflict in ukraine. it's not a rescue operation and there are no nazis there. also the chipotle mayo here is too spicy!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] we've finally found a way to make our constant need to review things a positive. we've basically weaponized bitching. [ laughter ] president biden today put more sanctions on oligarchs with close ties to putin. more companies are acting, too. norwegian cruise lines has announced they will avoid russian ports. even the ships are jumping ship on russia. [ laughter ] ikea has announced they will stop selling and building furniture in russia. shutting down ikea is sweden's version of the nuclear option. [ laughter ] [ applause ] they're saying that the shutdown of ikea could dramatically

affect russia's supply of supply of flardfulls, dagstorps, and gronkulas. [ laughter ] ikea also announced it was giving ukraine 20 million euro. but only one of these. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the good news for people living in russia is one local business is very eager to pick up the slack. >> looking to decorate government-issued apartment? don't pester with cheap furnishings from pathetic cowards in sweden. me buying from new furniture company in mother russia, youkea. the finest of house pieces. like concrete bookshelf. concrete bed. concrete baby's crib. now available in gray. and only gray. easily made, constructed by you in home. and while you are doing shoppings, why not stopping to youkea food court?

the famous little beet balls, mmm-mmm. cold beets just like mother made you eat. youkea, there is no other option. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're adapting. and while the war on ukraine is far and away the number one story in the world, tucker carlson of fox news is trying to distance himself from his own pro-putin propaganda. last night, he and dana perino came up with a unique critique of joe biden's state of the union speech. >> the young kid who has -- suffers from the diabetes, needs his insulin? loved that. but again, even there was that missed moment for humanity, right? the president says, and it was his birthday yesterday. well, then, clue. say happy birthday. >> yeah. >> if that's what we do, have a human moment. >> jimmy: great idea. [ laughter ] can you imagine if he actually stopped the whole thing to sing "happy birthday"? [ laughter ] we'd put him right in an assisted living home, right?

we'd take him right from the capitol and check him in. [ laughter ] [ applause ] in kanye news, speaking of unprovoked attacks, hours after his divorce with kim kardashian was finalized, ye posted a video for his song "easy" that's a clay version of pete davidson being kidnapped, driven away by a clay kanye and buried up to his neck. then you see he wrote "everyone lived happily ever after except" you know who, he's fine. [ laughter ] kanye's taking this well. [ laughter ] that's very disturbing. you know it's a bitter divorce when the claymation videos start coming out. [ laughter and applause ] this is what happened when wallace and gromit broke up. and you know how that ended. [ laughter ] now this is a battle we can all get behind. back in october, a woman in north carolina ordered a vanity license plate.

this is the license plate she ordered, okay? [ laughter ] take it in. much to her surprise, the dmv approved this plate, and so, of of course, she put it on her truck. but then last week, the dmv contacted her, saying they had received a complaint about the license plate. they told her they might have to revoke it, which would be tragic. so we tracked her down. and with us now from asheville, north carolina, karly sindy. [ cheers and applause ] hello, karly. >> hi! >> jimmy: thanks for joining us. >> how's it going? >> jimmy: what a tale. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: tell us how this license plate controversy began. >> sure. it was back in october. i was reregistering my truck online at the dmv website. and gave me a chance to get a license plate, so i tried, just for fun, "fart." it got -- it was approved. so i was like, all right! i submitted it. and then much to my surprise, a couple weeks later, it went out

to mail box, there it was. i was so excited. and here it is! >> jimmy: look at it, it's beautiful. [ laughter ] >> and i only took this off for -- just for this. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm going to put it right back on. >> jimmy: all right, good, yes. go right back out there with a screwdriver, don't delay. [ laughter ] what are people's reactions when you drive around with that in the back of your truck? >> it's great. people are waving and taking pictures. >> jimmy: it makes them happy, right? >> right, yes. >> jimmy: at a time when we need some kind of uplifting. and then as always is the case -- [ applause ] some jerk had to go and ruin a beautiful thing. what happened, exactly? >> so it was a week ago today that i went back out to the mailbox, and there was a letter from the dmv. said someone had complained about the plate. but they said, yeah, to write them back and tell them what the

plate means to me. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> so they gave me a chance. they gave me a chance. >> jimmy: you have to write an emotional letter about what the plate means to you? >> right. >> jimmy: right. >> oh, yeah. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: if i understand, the dmv supplied the plate. now they may deny the plate? [ laughter ] yes. and you've come up with some kind of a -- is it fair to call it a scheme? >> it's a legitimate club. >> jimmy: tell us about your club. >> okay. well, when i got the letter, i immediately went on reddit and asked for help. i was like, okay, what is a good -- i need help writing this letter. what we ended up with was saying "fart" is an acronym for "friends of asheville recreational trails." then i was like, let's meet! 15 people showed up at the first meeting. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: by the way, i wanted to tell you, you're not the only one being denied your right to

free speech. north carolina has a list of over 9,000 words you cannot put on a license plate. and we have a few of them here. you can see boobie -- >> jimmy: wow. you're fighting back. maybe on behalf of all of these people. do you think they're going to buy it? >> i really hope so. i spent a lot of -- stickers, i spent a lot of -- [ laughter ] people on the email list. we have a website.

>> jimmy: will you move out of north carolina if you do not win this case? >> go find a state that will give me a "fart" plate? >> jimmy: yeah, maybe. >> i'm an ashevillian forever. there are. >> jimmy: that should convince them even more. maybe you'll get nominated for a nobel prize. [ laughter ] >> i really hope they let me keep my license plate. >> jimmy: do you think they will take it from you, if it is indeed rejected? >> um -- i don't know. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, you better get a safe deposit box. by the way, in case -- >> right. >> jimmy: we went next door to the souvenir shop. i know it says california. fred and bart. turns out if you tape these things together, you will have your own -- well, i think you guys can figure this out. it doesn't take a wordle genius to figure out that you can do that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] even though it says california, we're going to send that to you as a memento. >> love it, thank you. >> jimmy: keep fighting the good

fight. [ laughter ] we are -- i think i speak for all of us when i say, we are with you 100%. [ cheers and applause ] fred and bart are with you too. all right, thank you very much, we appreciate your time. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: we'll check back in and see what happens. [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show tonight. louisa jacobson is here. we have music from shenseea. an we'll be right back with jamie dornan. so stick around!

>> jimmy: hi, there. tonight, from "the gilded age" on hbo max, louisa jacobson is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, she is apple music's up next artist. her album is called "alpha." shenseea from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ]

that's her right this. our first guest is a busy man. his multi-oscar nominated movie "belfast" is still in theaters and you can see him star as an amnesia stricken man on the run through the australian outback in the new limited series called "the tourist." all episodes are on hbo max now. please say hello to jamie dornan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. move they is nominated for a million awards. has there been an official count? >> you'd be able to tell me something like that, no? >> jimmy: 78 awards. i made that up. [ laughter ] but it's probably right. i bet it's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> probably really close. >> jimmy: i have a feeling, knowing you a little bit, maybe this was an even greater honor. this is something you posted on instagram.

tell because we're seeing right here. the background we can see what we're seeing. >> yeah. a big moment. >> jimmy: the "belfast" billboard. >> yeah, that's the "belfast" billboard. it's on sunset. i've been coming out here 20 years trying to do this, this is a big thing. yeah, it's beautifully placed -- >> jimmy: right behind the body shop. [ laughter ] >> yeah, live news giude girls,, girls. and parking. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, listen. here in l.a., it's a toss-up between live nude, nude, nude girls and parking. [ laughter ] >> well, sure. >> jimmy: you reach a certain age, you're going to take parking, you know? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> well r. i think i'm there. >> jimmy: do they have live nude, nude, nude girls in ireland? is that a thing? i mean, i know they do at home. >> it wasn't for me growing up, no. >> jimmy: no? >> i didn't know of any such establishment. >> jimmy: i grew up in las

vegas, so that would be a culture shock, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i remember there was a rumor around belfast when we were still at school saying that there's some hotel that had a sort of after midnight or something, there would be girls. like a very cheap version of burlesque, i guess. women in their grandmother's underwear, i don't know. [ laughter ] i don't know what the setup was, i never went, i was too young. >> jimmy: like the old-timey kind of can-can room type of stuff? >> yeah, whatever our version of that would be, which would be tragic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's interesting. yeah. i never really thought about that. >> we had a lot of parking. lau [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did have parking. you have to. [ applause ] you were on -- i hope this doesn't embarrass you. but i know that you were on the cover of "british gq." [ cheers and applause ] there's you. i'm wondering, did this embarrass you?

or was it -- i mean, your buddies and whatnot? >> i -- i -- [ laughter ] i'm not embarrassed. you know waels weird for me is that 19 years ago, i entered this competition. i didn't know what -- i dropped out of university, i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. and my sister encouraged me to enter this modeling competition. it was like an early reality tv show, i guess. if you advanced further through the show, you'd all live in an apartment, all this sort of crack. i went through it, got through the ireland section, which wasn't that hard, to be honest. [ laughter ] anyway, got to the other side. came to london. i got booted off after a day in london. the whole idea was if the winner, the whole bait winner was the male winner got to be on the cover of "british gq." so it took me 19 years. >> jimmy: but you did get it. [ cheers and applause ] it's interesting that your

sister's the one who encouraged you to do that. >> no, it was like desperate times. it wasn't like -- i don't think she thought, like -- i don't know what she thought. [ laughter ] you know, it was just like something to do. i was literally doing -- >> jimmy: do you remember the anymore of the show? >> it was called "model behavior." >> jimmy: we happen to have a clip of "model behavior" here. >> oh-oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what we do. >> i was thinking, my god, that's kind of a calvin klein look going on there. are you up to that? the cleansing, moisturizing? >> moisturize? >> do you moisturize? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how did you not win? >> by the way, that's my entire inclusion in the show. >> jimmy: that was it? >> that's all. i also lied. i was like -- i still barely moisturize. [ laughter ] i thought, i've got to say something that they'll think makes me -- >> jimmy: something that makes you moist. [ laughter ] >> something that makes me

moist. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to put the word "moist" on a license plate in south carolina. >> i heard that, i heard that. >> jimmy: crazy country we've got here. jamie as got a great show on hbo max, "the tourist." we'll have a look at that when we come back with jamie dornan. we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by guinness. happy st. patrick's day. ♪ happy so happy ♪ ♪ let's hit the open road ♪ ♪ camp without a tent ♪ ♪ talk without a phone ♪ ♪ kick off your boots ♪ ♪ cook something new ♪ ♪ the meeting just started ♪ ♪ careful you're on mute ♪ ♪ catch a snuggle bug ♪ ♪ warm-up your buns ♪ ♪ bring your friend dave ♪ ♪ and the only song he knows ♪ ♪ host a movie night ♪ ♪ get your zen on ♪ ♪ nice to feel at home ♪ ♪ everywhere you go ♪ getting exclusive access to sought after restaurants. piece of... no-you-really-have-to-try-this cake.

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♪

[ crashing sounds ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is "the tourist" on hbo max. are you okay? i should probably ask you. >> i'm okay. it hurt a little. >> jimmy: very realistic. i've not been in an accident like that, but i would imagine that's what it would actually be like. >> well, i survived. there we go. i did, yeah. >> jimmy: you made it. this is a crazy show. i'm going to let you explain what it is. i feel that even having a discussion with some people today, i feel like a couple of things were ruined for me. >> yeah, it's very hard to talk about, almost. i'll give you the sort of breakdown, the premise. i am driving through -- a random irish guy driving through the australian outback, seems happy with himself, singing along in the car, spirits are good.

and then suddenly this big truck comes very close, they get into this chase, he doesn't understand what's going on. the chase escalates until that point where he thinks he's lost him, then he does -- that crash happens. my character wakes up in a hospital and has no memory of who he is or why he's in australia, why anybody's trying to kill him. he spends six hours trying to piece that together. but in the weirdest way, tonally the show is kind of a bit of everything. just when you think you're comfortable with it, it hits you. >> jimmy: hints of the show "lost," i think. >> sure, minus the jungle, i guess. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. how do you play a guy with amnesia? >> i forget. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, you have to. >> sorry. come on, lads. >> jimmy: our drummer's asleep over there. >> literally like this. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: i do have something i need to ask you. >> what's that? >> jimmy: last night i had a conversation with catriona balfe, your costar. >> yes. >> jimmy: from the movie. and she really threw me for a loop. because i was curious. i've not been to ireland, and i -- i'm interested in st. patrick's day. first of all, she was very clear in telling me that it's not st. patty's day, it's st. paddy's day with the letter "d." >> double d, yes. >> jimmy: why is that? >> you say pappy? >> jimmy: st. patrick? >> originally it's padraig, which is irish for patrick. >> jimmy: that explains it, good, you've explained it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. all right, now i can continue with my life. >> okay, good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then the other thing, and it's funny, because my dad's irish, my mom was -- is planning a big corned beef-o-rama at the

house. is corned beef not -- okay, i looked this up a little bit. >> no. >> jimmy: corned beef -- have you had corned beef here in the united states? >> i -- yes. is that what goes into, like -- is there like a corned beef roast? is that a thing? >> jimmy: well, it's -- i mean, it's a brisket, basically. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's sliced on a sandwich, usually. >> a lot of stuff's happened to it before it gets to you? >> jimmy: well, it's been corne. but other than that, nothing has happened to it. i don't know, maybe there's some weirdos doing stuff to it. [ laughter ] have you heard something? >> like "american pie"? >> jimmy: corned beef, i feel like -- because i read a little about it. it's some canned, disgusting thing over in ireland. >> sorry, that's what i thought you were talking about -- yes, it's a very processed -- it's like spam. >> jimmy: oh, that's not what it's like here. >> nobody eats it, like at all. >> jimmy: nobody eats it? >> no. >> jimmy: we eat it to celebrate st. paddy's day.

[ laughter ] that's like a big thing over here. >> absurd. >> jimmy: it's absurd. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do these things get started? it's crazy. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: i guess you got wind of this. >> patty. >> jimmy: st. patty, patrick. >> i can't say it. >> jimmy: i know, i get it. i'm not going to do it again, but at least you've explained it to me. so -- because i do want to celebrate in the traditional way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: st. patrick's day. and so you've ordered some ingredients. >> yes. >> jimmy: i would like you to tell us what this is. this is something that you really, in ireland -- go ahead. >> this is as good a setup as -- this makes me very happy. "a," i will say -- [ laughter ] >> guillermo: hi. >> guillermo, good to see you. >> jimmy: when there's food around. >> guillermo: i'm a little hungry. >> may i sit up here? this is what i'll say. what we're making here is called a tato smashie. this is what you do. ideally you find the cheapest

white bread you can find. there used to be a bread back home called mighty white, which is like -- >> jimmy: wonder bread kind of thing? >> sugary death, yeah. you go heavy on the mayo, both sides. >> jimmy: two sides with the mayo. >> you don't muck around with light mayonnaise. do the real stuff. >> jimmy: regular ham? >> that's regular ham. find the cheaper ham, the better. it all comes from the same animal. >> jimmy: okay. >> you go quite heavy on there, right? you get like five or six slices. you get potato, cheese, and onion which are -- in the north of ireland, where i'm from, the cheese and onion are the best crisps to do. you put the entire packet on there. >> guillermo: wow. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> this is small bread, i'm going to say. this is maybe the most exciting thing that will happen in your day or year or life. is the crunch. it's why it's called toto smashi represent. you go like this. >> jimmy: oh, that's got a nice sound. [ cheers and applause ] let me carve that up. >> you don't cut it.

>> jimmy: you don't cut it, all right, we'll pass it away. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i lost half of the chips. [ cheers and applause ] [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: i thought it was going to be good, it's about six times more delicious than i imagined it would be. [ applause ] jamie dornan, everybody! "the tourist" is the show, it's on hbo max. thank you, jamie. we'll be back with louisa jacobson! ♪ (“hold on, i'm coming”- sam & daveevga) ♪ ♪hold on♪ ♪i'm coming♪ ♪hold on♪ ♪i'm coming♪ ♪hold on♪ ♪i'm coming♪ ♪hold on♪

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>> jimmy: louisa jacobson and music from shenseea are coming up, but first, it's thursday night, and that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week, whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> the white house today placing new sanctions on several russian oligarchs described as putin's cronies, along with their family members. penalties include [ bleep ]ing their [ bleep ]s in the united states and blocking their proper property. >> the white house said president biden [ bleep ]ed president zelenskyy just now. >> he will never stop [ bleep ]ing. >> right now, hollywood's biggest [ bleep ], i'm talking biggest, are headed our way. >> national peanut butter [ bleep ]ers day. >> he knows every inch of me and

he thinks it's a very beautiful [ bleep ]. >> usually i always give up sweets. but this year i'm going to do something a little different. i'm going to give up [ bleep ]ing myself. >> how do you feel about [ bleep ] in the [ bleep ]? >> what? >> how do you feel about [ bleep ] in the [ bleep ]? >> we should all agree the answer is not to defund the police, it's to [ bleep ] the police. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be back with louisa jacobson! ♪a boy went back to napoli♪ ♪because he missed the scenery♪ ♪but wait a minute♪ ♪something's wrong♪ ♪cause now it's...♪ ♪hey mambo, mambo italiano♪ ♪hey mambo, mambo italiano♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from shenseea is on the way. our next guest is a very talented actor making her television debut in the show "the gilded age." you can see new episodes mondays on hbo and hbo max. say hello to louisa jacobson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: can i make you a sandwich? i've got a piece if you want one. >> i'm good. i'm a fan of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yes, it's quite strange, it's good. >> jimmy: what kind of bread to you bput it on? >> sourdough bread, and bread and butter style pickles, they're a little bit sweet. >> jimmy: is this something you started eating when you were a kid? >> no, it was a pandemic thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a pandemic thing, all right, interesting. this is, i heard, your first talk show you've been on? >> yeah. >> jimmy: your first television show you starred in. [ cheers and applause ] what a big thing. you were -- i think it's interesting. you were not in acting at all for, like, the first couple of years when i assume you got out of college, you got into advertising, right? >> yeah. well, i acted when i was a kid all throughout high school, middle school. did something different in college. and yeah, when i graduated, i worked a retail job for a little

bit. then i worked at an ad agency. >> jimmy: did you have, like, clients that -- campaigns we would know? >> yeah, yeah. so actually, the agency is well known for having done a lot of work on the obama campaigns. >> jimmy: oh, they did? >> both of them. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, yeah. they had a combination of clients that were, like, nonprofit organizations that i really care about, like planned parenthood. and they -- [ cheers and applause ] yes! they also had the higher-paying clients as well. one of those was this health and wellness spa, canyon ranch.p>> . that's in tucson, right? >> tucson and lennox. they also have little outposts in cruise ships. >> jimmy: oh. >> yes. and the reason why i bring that up is because everyone else on the team at my ad agency got to go to the flagship spas to check it out and do work. really, they were getting free

massages. >> jimmy: right, yeah. see what they're like, yeah. >> so anyway, they had me go check out the outposts on the cruise. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> so they had me go on this celebrity cruise. >> jimmy: how long were you on the cruise? >> i was on the cruise for about three days. we went from new jersey to bermuda. and i was alone on a cruise, which is a strange thing. >> jimmy: people don't go on a cruise solo, yeah. >> no. you pay for the room as two people. so it was a weird thing. and i also couldn't tell anybody why i was there. so anybody that i met -- >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like a cruise spy? >> yeah, i was like a secret agent spy. >> jimmy: loner cruise agent, yeah. >> loner advertising agent. >> jimmy: did you make any friends? >> i did. so the point of the cruise is to have you be around a lot of people. >> jimmy: right. >> they assign you a seat at dinner. it's so sweet. everyone just dresses up for

dinner. it's like, you have to wear something formal. >> jimmy: i know, i've been on them. >> you have? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> oh, yeah. so i sat with a bunch of strangers. >> jimmy: yes? >> they were in their 20s, married. i was not married. they were so confused as to why i was on the ship by myself. >> jimmy: yeah. and you couldn't tell them. >> i couldn't tell them. and you know, that's when i knew i wanted to be an actor. >> jimmy: yeah, you were acting, interesting. [ cheers and applause ] >> made it up. but, you know, long story short -- a couple and i got to talking, and they were so nice, they invited me back to their room. >> jimmy: what? wow. [ laughter ] >> it's not what you think. >> jimmy: oh. >> we ended up taking shots of, like, whiskey out of a mouth wash bottle. >> jimmy: why? >> because you can't bring your own handles of alcohol onto a cruise ship because the cruise ship wants you to pay for booze at the bar. >> jimmy: oh. >> so you're not allowed to bring it, so people snuck it in. >> jimmy: classy. >> it's like a regular thing. i asked them, is this what

people do? they were like, yeah. this is, like, typical. >> jimmy: you were taking shots of scope with these people? [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's very strange. i see why you got into acting. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: when i went on a cruise, we would sit with the same people every night. they were strangers. one guy kept referring to his significant other as his lady friend. >> oh. >> jimmy: i almost swam back home. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i know your parents. your dad is a great sculptor, don gummer. your mom, of course, is meryl streep, the great actor. [ applause ] i know all your siblings. your brother's a musician. your two sisters are actors. nobody became a sculptor, though. nobody took after dad. why do you hate sculpting? [ laughter ] what is with the family? >> it's just too hard to be whittling away all day. no, no. i didn't have that bug. >> jimmy: you didn't, yeah.

>> i did draw and do studio art when i was in college. and i'm really good at drawing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you really good at drawing? oh, all right. only you probably would be good at sculpting, i would imagine. >> you know, i don't have those di kinds of abstract idea. >> you're very fickle and you eat a lot of pickles, maybe you'll shift to that. >> who knows. >> jimmy: sorry, it's been a long month. when your mom's meryl streep, does she annoy you in the way other people's moms annoy them? >> of course. even today she was like, all right, pick ankle, is the car coming? >> jimmy: she calls you pickle? geez. >> do you have everything you need? is someone picking you up from the theater? because i'm doing a play. i was like, yeah, mom, i have it under control. she's like, okay, yeah, enough from me, enough from me, and she hung up. no, she's really sweet. she also -- this is really embarrassing -- >> jimmy: go ahead. [ laughter ]

>> if she starts to speaking to someone who has an accent, she'll start doing the accent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she'll get an oscar for it usually, right? yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so this show is created by the same people who did "downton abbey," right? > yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: set in the 1880s in new york. "the gilded age." which you have to wear the costumes and all of this stuff. >> yes. the costumes. >> jimmy: are the costumes good? because they didn't have lululemon back then. [ laughter ] now you have to wear all the stuff. is that very uncomfortable? >> it's very uncomfortable. >> jimmy: yeah. >> as i'm sure you can imagine. >> jimmy: you'd think maybe they would have used modern technology to come up with something that's a comfortable version of that. >> you know, i thought so too. but -- >> jimmy: no? >> no. and it looked great. but after three months, not being able to sleep on my side because my ribs were so sore, i was like, i think it's time to

take these dresses out. >> jimmy: yeah. it becomes -- >> redo the measurements. >> jimmy: when somebody makes you a balloon animal, then it unfolds and there are those weird little departments in it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's your body now, yeah. >> that's exactly. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. the show is called "the gilded age." see it monday nights on hbo and hbo max. louisa jacobson, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, louisa. we'll be back with music from shenseea! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank jamie dornan and louisa jacobson. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, her album is called "alpha." with the song "deserve it," shenseea! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

♪ shenseea baby ♪ ♪ baby you keep loving me ♪ ♪ the way you do i might just lose my cool and ♪ ♪ you got all the flavor got me laid up sipping on that kool-aid ♪ ♪ ain't nobody perfect but you're perfect yes you break the rules ♪ ♪ yea i think i deserve it i think i deserve it the way you walk ♪ ♪ and the way you talk and the way you look drive me so stupid ♪ ♪ up all night with ya love all night i swear you got me ♪ ♪ oh so booted ain't nobody perfect but you're perfect ♪ ♪ yes you break the rules yea i think i deserve it i think i deserve it ♪ ♪ my love how you deal wid me mi love yuh touch ♪ ♪ how you feel on me you make me feel so welcome and you ♪ ♪ so damn handsome i can see by the look in your eyes ♪ ♪ i can see you down to ride mi know you'll go ♪ ♪ the extra mile for me i know you do anything to put a smile on me ♪ ♪ you put me first every time put the the ♪ ♪ in a hearse every time i know i can be the worst sometimes ♪ ♪ but yuh still give me all your time and i appreciate that ♪ ♪ and i won't forget that

no mi naah forget that no no baby no ♪ ♪ mi naah forget that you keep loving me the way you do ♪ ♪ i might just lose my cool and you got all the flavor ♪ ♪ got me laid up sipping on that kool-aid ain't nobody perfect ♪ ♪ but you're perfect yes you break the rules and i think i deserve it ♪ ♪ i think i deserve it the way you walk and the way you talk ♪ ♪ and the way you look drive me so stupid up all night with ♪ ♪ ya love all night i swear you got me oh so booted ♪ ♪ ain't nobody perfect but you're perfect yes you break the rules ♪ ♪ and i think i deserve it i think i deserve it i think that i'm worth it ♪ ♪ oh yes oh lord have mercy you can't leave me alone no baby ♪ ♪ that'll make mi nervous i know i ain't perfect i promise that ♪ ♪ i'm learning how to love you right just give me ♪ ♪ time time time oh yes you know that you ♪ ♪ loving put bubbles in my stomach my mind is always running ♪ ♪ i swear you got me bugging imma le u right

just gimme do me right ♪t r time time time ♪ ♪ you keep loving me the way you do i might just lose my cool ♪ ♪ and you got all the flavor got me laid up sipping on that kool-aid ♪ ♪ ain't nobody perfect but you're perfect yes you break the rules ♪ ♪ yea i think i deserve it i think i deserve it the way you walk ♪ ♪ and the way you talk and the way you look drive me so stupid ♪ ♪ up all night wid ya love all night i swear you got me ♪ ♪ oh so booted ain't nobody perfect but you're perfect ♪ ♪ yes you break the rules and i think i deserve it i think i deserve it ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, search and seize. as russian forces increase their attacks on ukraine's people, the u.s. is going after the oligarchs and their luxurious lifestyles. >> if you're trying to evade our sanctions, we are coming for you, and we're coming for those assets. >> but will it work? plus, ivermectin. the controversy over the drug and the doctors who promote its use for covid. >> there's no clinical evidence that indicates that this works. >> even though major health organizations warn against it. now fueling a booming online business. >> interesting. >> offering easy access and generating big profits. why one e.r. doctor says it'