tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 7, 2022 11:35pm-12:36am PST
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-- march 27 at 5:00. dan: >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, from "american idol," luke bryan, katy perry, and lionel richie. pamela adlon and music from banks. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for joining us. i'm glad you did. you know, it's hard to do a comedy show when there's a war going on, but we are here while more than 6,000 miles away, women and children are fleeing ukraine. men age 18 to 60 are required to stay and fight as russian forces continue their unprovoked
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but nobody does that better than donald trump. >> it all happened because of a rigged election. this would have never happened. that includes inflation, and that includes millions of people pouring in on a monthly basis. far more than 3 million people. and they're coming from 129 different countries. we have no idea what's happening. and they're destroying our country. >> jimmy: well, that makes sense. this never would have happened if not for the rigged election i made up one year ago. can you blame something real on something fake? that's like blaming chicken pox on the tooth fairy, it doesn't make sense. there are hundreds of casualties in ukraine, images of families running for their lives. not only hasn't trump condemned putin, he called him a genius. he called what he's doing wonderful. he keeps defending putin, which is embarrassing. he's never going to date you, dude, give it up. [ laughter ] there's nothing good you could say about vladimir putin. i mean, really. [ applause ] there is nothing.
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he is a terrible person. but trump went ahead and did it again last night. at mar-a-lago dinner was served, then he popped in to explain why putin is a genius from a real estate perspective. >> putin's smart. he's taking over a country, for $2 worth of sanctions. i'd say that's pretty smart. he's taking over a country, really a vast, vast location, a great piece of land with a lot of people and just walking right in. this would have never happened, ever in a million years, would have never happened, and i know him very well. >> jimmy: so any way, let's raise a glass to the bride and groom. [ laughter ] people are eating while he's talking. and this idea that trump would somehow be able to wrangle vladimir putin is very rich. let's just say that. in fact, this is a clip from 2018 when he told us exactly how he would handle a situation like this. >> as an example, if vladimir putin were sitting next to me and we were having dinner the
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other night in canada, i would could say, would you do me a favor, would you get out of syria? would you do me a favor? get out of ukraine. get out of ukraine, you shouldn't be there, just come on, get -- now i think i'd probably have a good relationship with him. >> jimmy: that's a great idea. why didn't -- joe biden should just say, could you just do me a favor, would you just get out? [ laughter ] why didn't anyone think about that? just make a perfect call and it will all be over. can you imagine if any other president behaved this way? this would be like if during world war ii hoover came out and said attaboy, adolf, sweet moustache, i love what you're doing. [ laughter and applause ] on fox, they keep spreading this story about how tough trump was dealing with putin. which all i can assume is that everyone who works there somehow forgot about all of this. >> i'm not an expert on nato. but i have a lot of common sense. i like putin, he likes me. we get along.
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i do get along with president putin. some people have said, i have the greatest political instinct in 50 years. president putin is sharp. i like putin. president putin was a total gentleman. i have good political instincts. putin called me brilliant, i like it. putin said donald trump is a genius. putin said good things about me, said he's a leader, no question about it, he's a genius. you have to follow your instincts. putin sent me a present with a beautiful note. i think putin has been a very strong leader. see, that's good, instinct. that's good judgment. putin has much better leadership qualities than obama. but who doesn't know that? my great instincts, right? i got along great with him. it's called instinct. all of a sudden we have this great friendship. getting along with putin and russia is a great thing. you should say thank you very much for good judgment. >> jimmy: well, there you go. i give you one ball, you give me two. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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it's the old putin negotiation. it's been interesting. i was watching fox and cnn today. cnn's been showing mothers, parents on trains trying to get their kids to safety. people hiding underground. fox is showing missiles, missiles, missiles, and jeanine pirro. she is on there. i don't know if you know this woman. [ laughter ] blabbering about hunter biden, hoping they don't cut off her vodka supply. [ laughter ] we even got to hear from the former commander of the space force who weighed in with his review of president biden's response to the situation so far. >> well, i just must tell you that to see the way the biden administration has handled ukraine is a testament to a historic truth. that weakness arouses evil. >> jimmy: he's talking about his sexual fantasy, right? weakness arouses evil? that's why mother makes him wear mittens to bed.
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and of course no american has been churning out the russian propaganda more than tucker carlson. i don't know what his deal is. maybe he's planning to retire in siberia, i don't know. but whatever the case, we slowed him down to half speed for the first-ever edition of "drunk tucker putin." ♪ >> why is it in america's interests to do this? that seems like a fair question. shut up! you're hitler. [ laughter ] and we're not overstating it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the ultimate white russian. this was one of very few light moments i saw watching the news. cnn's been showing more footage. also they have commercials to run. that sometimes results in unfortunate moments like this. [ sirens ]
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♪ and a little bit of chicken fried ♪ ♪ cold beer on a friday night ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, that's what freedom looks like, i guess. [ applause ] chicken fried chicken, cold beer on a friday night. there's a lot to keep track of tonight. last night twitter was full of people last night whose sole mission was to yell at other people about tweeting about anything other than the war. most people sadly don't follow the news. so we mashed a bunch of subjects from the news together into one long and nonsensical question today. we went out on the street, ask pedestrians, do you support russia's decision to protect nato with a block chain nft, even though it may cause a world war wordle on nord stream 2? [ laughter ] which doesn't make sense but that doesn't stop pundits on hollywood boulevard from trying to answer it in "the confusing question of the day."
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>> with so much happening, let many ask you this. do you support russia's decision to protect nato with the block chain nft, even though it may cause a world war wordle on nord stream 2? >> um -- i do not. any type of oppression just -- just is not a good idea, period. >> simple follow-up for you. "encanto." >> yes? "encanto"? >> in terms of russia and the nft and nato and the block chain. >> yeah. >> and world war wordle and nord stream 2. "encanto"? >> hm -- no? >> do ou support russia's decision to protect nato with the block chain nft even though it may cause a world war wordle on nord stream 2? >> uh -- i really don't support it. but i don't know all the inner workings of it, you know what i'm saying? >> you're a journalist?
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>> yeah. >> you keep up on what's happening? >> yeah, i try to. >> let me ask you this. do you support russia's decision to protect nato with a block chain nft, even though it may cause a world war wordle on nord stream 2? >> i have no idea, to be honest. yeah. >> as a journalist? >> as a journalist, i really don't have too much clue about that, i'm afraid. i know about entertainment news, unfortunately, so if you want to ask me about kanye, unfortunately, i know about that. >> how does kanye feel about russia's decision to protect nato with a block chain nfc -- even though it may cause a world war wordle on nord stream 2? >> as kanye, he probably thinks it's a brilliant idea. he doesn't like godless people. yeah, i think he's going to be in total support of that. >> let's ask these guys. window washers, can i ask you, do you support russia's decision to protect nato with a block chain nft, even though it may cause a world war wordle on nord stream 2? >> no. >> no?
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a quick follow-up. "encanto"? did you hear me? think about it. let me know when you come down. [ applause ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. i guess he didn't want to talk about bruno, i guess. hey, we've got a great show tonight. pamela adlon is with us. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from banks. we'll be back with luke bryan, katy perry, and lionel ritchie too. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by kinder bueno. it's crispy. it's creamy. woooow... ahh! enjoy the ride. ♪ it's kinder bueno! smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer, creamy hazelnut filling.
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the kfc chicken sandwich is only served one way: straight from the fryer, piping hot, and kentucky fried to order. if you don't like it this way, you'll have to go somewhere else. kfc. it's finger lickin' good. ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. tonight from the great show "better things" which you can see on both fx and hulu, pamela adlon with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, her new album "serpentina" comes out april
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8th. banks from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night we have guests amanda seyfried, bubba wallace, music from dashboard confessional. please join us for that. our first guests are a talented group of people who work as a team to make dreams come true and to crush them. season 20 of "american idol" premieres sunday night on abc. please welcome luke bryan, katy perry and lionel richie. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: i got to tell you, see, now those are what i call entertainers.
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you come out, you don't just sit down -- >> we do a little jig! >> jimmy: you don't plop down onto the couch. >> the band means show time. >> jimmy: that's right. >> we're back! >> jimmy: showtime, you're back. are you sick of each other yet? >> yes! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, you are. >> i was going to say no. >> somehow we're also in las vegas together now. >> jimmy: yeah, well not right this second, we are in los angeles, katy. we're in hollywood, actually. >> you tell her. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, you all have residencies, correct? residencies in august? >> encore, wynn. >> we're at resorts world. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: resorts world. >> katy and i share a -- >> stage. >> no. we share the same suite. >> okay. >> no. >> jimmy: well, this a blockbuster. is this like blake and gwen? are we learning something here? >> no! >> not at the same time! >> jimmy: all right, okay. >> what will the tabloids say? >> you want to tell them about the video that you sent me?
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>> so i was having fun with katy and i was oh my god, how do you think that i'm in that bed and then they clean the sheets. >> he said you're going destroy the toilet so i can't stay in that room anymore. >> you see what i go through? >> when i'm in the suite a couple of days ago, i take a video. i'm like, there it is. our toilet. [ laughter ] >> i have a new toilet seat cover come every time. >> jimmy, how have you been? >> tell him, tell him. >> jimmy: hold on i've got to see where this is going. >> after i sent it, when i went viral quick, i noticed a brief reflection in the door of the shower. >> jimmy: in the video? >> in the video. >> jimmy: oh. >> that's a screen shot worth a lot. [ laughter ] >> was i wearing anything? >> jimmy: no! >> i backed up, thank god i did have underwear on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys are very, very close, then. >> you think so? absolutely. >> i know too much. >> jimmy: do you feel like you
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know too much? >> well, the thing about it, people keep asking me, do you have any things to tell? and i go, i have a whole book on this group right here. >> jimmy: and yet lionel will never write a book. lionel has the greatest stories of any human being on the planet earth. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: and i've heard a couple of those stories at your house. i begged you to write a book. but you're very careful about what you reveal and what you do not reveal. >> well, the point is that everybody's not dead yet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when everyone dies? >> when everyone dies, "the book" will come out. >> jimmy: okay, all right. lionel, who are the other two guys in this photograph? >> two college friends of mine. [ laughter ] paul and michael. >> jimmy: where did this happen? >> it was -- 1982. i think it was either "the girl is mine" or "say say say." >> jimmy: i'm going to say "the girl is mine." >> i think "the girl is mine." >> jimmy: yes, yeah. >> i got a call at 3:00 in the morning, lionel, what are you
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doing? i said, playing pac man. he said, come down to the studio, i want to surprise you. came down to the studio and paul, who i had not met yet, jumped out behind the door and said surprise! >> very paul mccartney. >> and the session was forever shut down. >> jimmy: you were there when michael jackson said, paul, i think i told you, i'm a lover, i'm not a fighter. [ laughter and applause ] >> then paul said, i heard it all before. she told me forever love. >> jimmy: suddenly you're a cowboy? >> that was the evening and it was out of control. guess what his first line was? "lionel, i've been a big fan of yours forever," started reading off my list of songs. i said, "no, that's my line to you." >> jimmy: yeah, wow. >> but he's a sweetheart. >> jimmy: that's crazy. has paul done this to either of you? >> no, my buddies call me, then there's catfish fillets. not paul mccartney. >> jimmy: maybe he'll hear about
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this and show mercy. >> like, hush puppies, here they are! >> jimmy: katy, back to las vegas for a second. i think this is interesting. i happen to be from las vegas. you have -- your parents met in las vegas. you have some family in las vegas, right? >> what? >> yeah, i always thought a residency would be in the cards for me. and i wanted it. then when i decided i was going to do it, i started to remember all this family folklore. my aunt was a topless showgirl. my grandma was a seamstress for the showgirls. my dad was a chauffeur. my parents met in vegas. then got married in vegas. >> what? >> so i was like, that's so strange. what's even stranger is that i realized the hotel that my aunt worked at was the stardust hotel, which now the resorts world hotel. ♪ do do do do do do ♪ >> jimmy: which is where you are performing. holy cow. >> that's a funny video game. >> jimmy: yeah, really. yeah, that's kind of strange. >> it's cool. >> they're haunting me at the blackjack table.
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>> no, that's your own. that's your own stuff. >> jimmy: your topless aunt and the topless -- >> that's all i heard too. >> grandma who sewed pockets into the g-strings of the showgirls so they could put their wedding rings in. they were afraid they'd get stolen backstage. vegas was crazy in the '70s. >> jimmy: i wonder if the seamstresses for topless dancers are the worst -- >> they get more vacation days. >> jimmy: "you'll work on the naked people." do you guys know lionel has been nominated for the rock and roll hall of fame? >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first of all, why did it take them so long is the first question. >> the sad part is i thought i was already in. [ laughter ] >> wait, it's a vote, right? >> it's a vote. >> it's a vote. vote for lionel. it's lionel frickin' richie! >> jimmy: you'll have no trouble. >> you'll see me in a red pickup truck going down hollywood
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boulevard, "vote for me." >> he would have had no trouble until katy and i. >> jimmy: have you guys personally voted for lionel? i don't know where this happens. >> we're putting up a lot on our instagram -- tomorrow. >> jimmy: okay, good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you should be on there, in there twice, lionel. for the commodores and as a solo artist. [ cheers and applause ] >> the story is simple, i thought we were already in. i'm still taking the accolades, thank you. >> jimmy: if you are inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame, will you donate that clay head of yourself to be on display in cleveland there at the actual hall? >> you mean the real one? >> jimmy: the one. >> did you tell them the story you told me? >> yes, i didn't tell them the story -- >> you got to tell them. >> jimmy: he's saving it for the book. >> no, honestly, what happened, of all the things i didn't like in that video, of all the things -- >> jimmy: the head in the head was weird.
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>> it was weird. and i kept saying to geraldi, the producer, i don't think the head looks like me. >> jimmy: it doesn't. >> we went through the whole thing. "i want to talk to you, the head doesn't look like me." we get to the scene. he turned to me and he said, "lionel, the girl is blind." >> jimmy: exactly. that's pretty good for a blind sculptor, really good for a blind sculptor. >> doing this, doing this. >> jimmy: wasn't that the song that originally paul mccartney and michael jackson recorded, "the girl is blind"? [ laughter ] >> paul, i think i told you, i'm a lover, not a fighter. >> i may need you to help me write my book. >> jimmy: i would love to. i would love to. "as told to jimmy kimmel." we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll see a new clip of a new season of "american idol," luke, katy, and lionel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ and gave it a home ♪ >> yep, there we go. >> i'm deeply disturbed. deeply disturbed. i looked over at your paper and it says no. i just don't know what you're listening to. i mean, that was so good. >> thank you. oh, i didn't mean to interrupt your conversation. >> yeah, just -- just let them work this out. >> it just wasn't exciting. >> what? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is luke bryan, katy perry, and lionel richie, the judges from "american idol." luke, so what happened? did she bully you into changing your vote? >> always. >> always, always. >> jimmy: always, yeah. >> i'm always right. [ laughter ] >> i go, "luke, stand your ground." "stand your ground" >> have you ever seen katy go -- flutter her eyelashes -- >> that's not true. if you would have run the rest of the clip, she did a huge run after that, i threw his paper off of the desk. yeah, maybe he was scared of me. >> what's interesting about that moment is, sometimes the singers will come out of the blocks
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horrible. they'll stumble. >> jimmy: they're nervous, yeah. >> they're nervous. sometimes, you know -- we're always jotting during their performances, do an "n" or a "maybe." it's kind of a way. and then they can come roaring back. and then if one of us sees something in them, i mean, special, that we start rally is for that person, it's really a fun dynamic that we get to do. >> jimmy: at first you were like, no. and then katy ratted you out, reading your paper. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you were planning to vote yes? >> she's still in the show, how about that. [ cheers and applause ] >> she really is. >> jimmy: how often do you guys disagree? i mean, like really, really disagree? >> actually, this season -- this season 5, spectacular season 20, 20 years. >> 20 years. >> jimmy: 20 years, yeah, that's crazy. [ applause ] >> i would say that we are more combative this season than ever. but it's not that we don't love and respect each other.
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we just, like, see so much talent after five seasons that we're, like, no, we're all pushing for the best stuff. maybe you can get a little bit jaded after a few seasons. >> also, we know each other. >> yeah. >> we know exactly -- we can go a little step further. >> yeah. >> at the beginning, you know, i don't want to step because i don't know how you'll react. now we know we can slaughter each other. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you guys ever seen lionel mad? >> no, but i think he -- i think you have a few ex-wives, right? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> yes. that was -- that was really good. that was really good. that was really good, yes. >> jimmy: that was an arrow that came out of nowhere. [ laughter ] >> by the way, jimmy -- i receive those arrows every night. by the way, you should just stay tuned for "american idol" to see those arrows flying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lionel is in a movie called "studio 666" by dave grohl. do you know this? >> oh my gosh.
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>> you have not told us anything about it. weren't you in like a whitney houston movie? >> no, i was in -- >> jimmy: well, hold on, don't even say it. because i want to show a clip from it. >> watch this. ♪ i sometimes see you pass outside my door ♪ ♪ hello ♪ aah! >> hello, dave. >> lionel! >> we all have writers block, you know? >> uh-huh? >> but that's my [ bleep ] song. that's my [ bleep ] song! you understand what i'm saying? [ cheers and applause ] >> jekyll and hyde. >> i've never seen that side of him! after five years, you reveal yourself. >> of course, i call dave and said, is that basically something that can be nominated for the academy? >> jimmy: it could be. >> he didn't call me back. >> jimmy: he probably doesn't know. >> impressed lionel got that word cleared through his management. he's so sweet. >> he so is sweet.
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>> there has to be lawyers involved. >> jimmy: i guess not by the f-word. >> when i finally go to trial for some kind of character thing, i have to say, i couldn't have done that. >> jimmy: that would be good, that would be great. >> but i must tell you, that script was too clean. what they gave me was "that's my song." >> jimmy: that's what dave said, you added the curse word. >> i said, no, it's not to be for real. >> you got to bring that attitude to "american idol." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys -- >> that could get us thrown off. >> jimmy: you watch "ozark," the show? on netflix? >> i'm not called up. catching up. >> a little, a little. i heard they gave us a shout-out. >> jimmy: they gave you a shoutout. one of the characters said she loves you, katy. she said she thought she wasn't going to love you, then she loves you. she's absolutely crazy. crazy for lionel. >> yeah. >> then luke, didn't mention you. [ laughter ] >> yeah.
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i saw you were going there with that. >> jimmy: sorry. >> you don't need to mention luke, he is "ozark." >> jimmy: by the way, in the ozarks, luke should be number one, let's be honest. >> let's be honest. >> all them boats on the lake, jamming my stuff. >> jimmy: great to have you guys here. 20th season of "american idol." >> believe it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: luke bryan, katy perry, lionel richie. "american idol" premieres sunday night, 8:00, here on abc. we'll be back with pamela adlon!
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>> lou: now it's time for "jimmy kimmel live's" regrettable tattoo of the night! >> hey, i'm valerie, originally from boston, massachuetts. and my most regrettable tattoo was when i was 18 years old and i got one to be the culmination of my two greatest loves in life, marching band and musical theater. cool, right? so i got a lower back tattoo of the comedy and tragedy masks with treble clefs coming off the side. it's my band camp tramp stamp. what a nice kid, right? >> lou: thanks, that is indeed regrettable. [ cheers and applause ] dvr. wait, unlimited dvr? yeah, that's right i'm worried what that much power might do to me. ok. youtube tv has real-time highlights
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to catch up on the game if you miss anything. i actually like missing things, my team is awful. well it also has personalized recommendations, so no more scrolling endlessly. but scrolling endlessly lets me reject things. yeah, but... reject. reject. reject. but... reject. alright that's enough! look, you should just try youtube tv for free. it's everything live tv should be. a practiced spicy crispy chicken sandwich eater knows: keep one hand on the sandwich and one hand on the drink. ♪ ♪ ♪ ba da ba ba ba ♪ ♪ got this amazing outfit for way less than it should've been, at marshalls! ♪ than it should've been, at marshalls! ♪ ♪ ♪
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s1p receptor modulator approved for uc. don't take zeposia if you've had a heart attack, chest pain, stroke or mini-stroke, heart failure in the last 6 months, irregular or abnormal heartbeat not corrected by a pacemaker, if you have untreated severe breathing problems during your sleep, or if you take medicines called maois. zeposia may cause serious side effects including infections that can be life-threatening and cause death, slow heart rate, liver or breathing problems, increased blood pressure, macular edema, and swelling and narrowing of the brain's blood vessels. though unlikely, a risk of pml--a rare, serious, potentially fatal brain infection--cannot be ruled out. tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, medications, or if you are or plan to become pregnant. if you can become pregnant, use birth control during treatment and for 3 months after you stop taking zeposia. don't let uc stop you from doing you. ask your doctor about once-daily zeposia. [megan thee stallion's 'flamin' hottie' plays] [beep] ♪ i mean, c'mon, man. ♪ [beep] (sighs) ♪ [megan thee stallion's 'flamin' hottie' plays]
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(grandmother) thank you for taking me home. it's so far. (young woman) don't worry about it, grandma! this'll be fun.♪ (young woman) two chocolate milkshakes, please. (grandmother) make it three. (young woman) three? (grandmother) did you get his number? (young woman) no, grandma! grandma!! (grandmother) excuse me! (young woman vo) some relationships get better with time. that's why i got a crosstrek. (avo) ninety-six percent of subaru vehicles sold in the last ten years are still on the road. (grandmother) i'm so glad you got a subaru. (young woman) i wonder who gave me the idea? (avo) love. it's what makes subaru, subaru. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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please say hello to pamela adlon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. please. jeff babko, our keyboard player, does some music for you. >> he as "better things" cast member by now, he's incredible. >> jimmy: i want to begin this with a compliment. >> i need a booster chair. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you might need a booster chair. guillermo will give you his stool if you want. this show, i saw a sneak preview, i've been a fan since the beginning. i think it is the most natural show on television. in that i mean, it doesn't seem like any of it is written. and i mean that in a good way.
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because everything just flows. the directing, the writing, the acting. and what a credit to you that is. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] > jimmy: it is a fantastic show. and i'm sad that it's -- >> you watch my show? >> jimmy: over. >> five of you may have heard of it. >> jimmy: most of these people are pretending and being nice. >> no, totally and i love it. >> jimmy: go back, start at the beginning. that. n hulu now, you can do - >> yeah. >> jimmy: watch all of them leading up to this season. because -- and this season, well, there's some things we can't talk about. one thing i do want to talk about is, there's a blast from my past in this season. this is the episode that i watched. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who are some of the guest stars? the known guest stars you've had on the show? >> well, before this season? >> jimmy: yeah, before the season. >> i mean, we had lenny kravitz, who i went to high school with. and so he came on. we had henry thomas, who was elliot in "e.t." and i called him elliot one day and he was like, "okay, dolores." [ laughter ] oh, a couple of you --
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[ laughter ] so, you know. i mean, i just -- there's people that i love and that i always kind of imagined, one day if i had a show i would want diedrich bader to be in my show, then i put him in my show. >> jimmy: this time you found -- now in the '70s or '60s, really, i think it started, there were shows, crazy cartoon shows on saturday morning. >> yes. >> jimmy: made by sid and marty krofft. [ cheers and applause ] we have the picture. "h.r. pufnstuf" was one of them. >> yes! >> jimmy: great theme songs. "land of the lost." "lidsville" was another one, right? >> these were everything to me. you know, i grew up -- i see you nodding, mommy. i love you. [ laughter ] i see you. you and me. so i brought my kids up on these shows, you know. and these were everything to me. and they weren't cartoons, they were like crazy -- they were like puppets and --
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>> jimmy: some animation, kind of, in there. >> they do animation. and you sit there and go, were these made for children? or stoned people? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well. it is called "h.r. pufnstuf." i'm going to guess there was some cross-over there. >> it's just -- the questions. i could never get past them. but i'm obsessed with them. >> jimmy: how does marty krofft wind up on your show? >> i was at delson's. >> jimmy: the supermarket. >> in the valley. and it was like everybody's wearing masks. one of those days, very heavy. really soon after the shutdown. and i'm staring at this man. and he's a very stately, gray-haired, very tall but hunched over -- and i see him, like, going into the deli and, like, pulling out food. and i'm staring at him. and he's got, like, some [ bleep ] written on his arm riht there. and it was embossed, sticking out.
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and i look at it. i'm like, that says "land of the lost." and i said, excuse me, i couldn't help but notice you're wearing a "land of the lost" jacket. and he turns to me and he goes, yes? i go, are you sid or marty? he goes, i'm marty, the good-looking one. [ laughter ] we talked, then he took out his card, he gave it to me. and i [ bleep ] my pants. because it had the h.r. pufnstuf, the logo and everything. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> he said, don't sell it, only if you need the cash. [ laughter ] then he said, email me. >> jimmy: yeah? >> so i did. no response. and so then -- >> jimmy: no response to the email? >> no response. a little bit of time goes by. i write him again. like yo, marty, i love you, maybe we could break bread or whatever. no response. and he told me, he said, "email me." so later i start my writer's room, i tell this story to the
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writers. i said, we have to put this in the show, that i bump into marty krofft and he's outside where one of my kids is working. and so i do. and we put out a breakdown for casting. and i'm like, we're looking for a marty krofft type. i never thought he was going to -- you know, whatever. i get a call from, like, my old makeup artist, who knows his daughter, who's a makeup artist. she's so excited. because you cast her father, marty, in your show. i'm like, no, no, no. [ laughter ] i didn't cast marty. i'm looking for a marty krofft type. he's probably not an actor. and this has backfired on me so many times. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm like, you're funny, i'm going to put you in my show! then it's like, lead gorilla, crickets. everybody's dead. nothing's working. [ laughter ] so i was like, i didn't, i didn't even respond. so then it turns out that he called felicia, my casting director.
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she was like, marty wants to read or whatever. and i was like, oh dear jesus. i contacted his daughter kendra. and i said, let's just do it. and he comes to work. and another one of his daughters is an actor. he worked on the scene with her. and it turned out he did incredibly. >> jimmy: yeah, he was great. >> he was ad libbing. and everybody on my crew went crazy. >> jimmy: are you friends now with him? >> oh, it doesn't stop. it's like "single white female." it's "single marty krofft female." >> jimmy: that's what you get. >> yes, it's the best. shooting a scene with lena waithe. and a later episode. at cbs radford. we're doing this walk and talk. i'm with lena. lena is so cool, like, hey, man. you know. lena's like a unicorn. >> jimmy: very recognizable, very stylish.
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>> yes. and very regal. and i don't want to waste her time. and even though we're close, i just wanted everything to go well. so we shoot the scene. i said, do you want to see the playback? we're watching the playback on the monitor. and we're standing there. and then i get a tap on my shoulder. and it's in the middle of the playback and the whole crew and the producer, the dp, another tap. i turn. it's marty. [ laughter ] and he goes, "come here, i got something to tell you." and i was like," marty, this is lena waithe, this is marty krofft." she's like, "show me the playback, bitch." i'm like, "okay, give me a second." i go around. and he is standing there -- >> jimmy: is he behind -- oh. >> with this bag. and he goes, "listen, i think you're fantastic. i can't believe it. i had such a wonderful time.
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i think you should play witchiepoo in the reboot" or whatever was going on. and he said, "i wanted to give you this." and he gives me -- >> no! >> thank you! >> jddimmy: that's freie! >> thank you! >> jimmy: freddie the flute! you know the kid who had freddie was jimmy. may i hold freddie? >> yes, it was jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, wow, look at that. that is freddie. >> jimmy, who jack wild played jimmy. had him in his pocket. >> jimmy: oh my god, have you smoked out of this yet? [ laughter ] holy -- this is him. >> i know. and i'm not giving it to you. >> jimmy: no, i wouldn't give to it me either. [ laughter ] >> he gave to it me. >> jimmy: wow. >> it's not the original, because people are like, is this the original? >> jimmy: oh, well, then. >> i know. because the original freddie was articulated. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> and he's probably dust now. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "better things" returns monday night on fx and hulu. pamela adlon, everybody. be back with banks! [ cheering and applause ]
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♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ♪ ♪ why don't they make doors that like, open themselves? [crunch] woah. you just invented— automated doors... come on, why can't you... do this yourself? [vacuuming] [cars honking] relax! car doesn't drive itself...
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank luke, katy, lionel, and pamela adlon. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, amanda seyfried and bubba wallace with music from dashboard confessional. "nightline" is next, but first, her album "serpentina" comes out april 8th. here with the song "holding back," banks! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ holding back ♪ ♪ did i say too much drown my sorrows called you up ♪ ♪ when the truth is tough honesty may not be enough ♪ ♪ cuz love is holding back i know i've done you wrong ♪ ♪ love leave me i'm alright
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i'll see you in the morning ♪ ♪ and loving is holding back and i have been in mourning ♪ ♪ never told you that i seen the light you know i push it cuz i go too far ♪ ♪ something bout what you said in the morning never gave me a warning ♪ ♪ and while you walkin' free i stay in the middle unaccompanied ♪ ♪ missing you a little won't you come and see i wrote you a melody can't you see that ♪ ♪ cuz ooh our loving babe i know you won't admit it but we're something babe ♪ ♪ all i want to do is get you loved and laid i wrote you a melody can't you see that ♪ ♪ cuz love is holding back i know i've done you wrong ♪ ♪ love leave me i'm alright i'll see you in the morning ♪ ♪ and loving is holding back and i have been in mourning ♪ ♪ i remember when you locked us out
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we had to climb in through the window ♪ ♪ lifted me up was on the second floor and i always love that story ♪ ♪ and while you talk to me you don't think i listen but i do you see ♪ ♪ words are never bitter cuz your voice so sweet your voice is like a melody can't you see that ♪ ♪ baby don't be afraid not every conversation is a new grenade ♪ ♪ all i want to do is get you loved and laid i wrote you a melody can't you see that ♪ ♪ cuz love is holding back i know i've done you wrong ♪ ♪ love leave me i'm alright i'll see you in the morning ♪ ♪ and loving is holding back and i have been in mourning ♪ ♪ anything i want you more than all time ♪ ♪ i want you more than moonlight i want you more than sunshine ♪ ♪ i want you more
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than water i want you more than high tides ♪ ♪ so don't you say that our time is up our time ain't up cuz i want you ♪ ♪ i want you i want you i want you i want you ♪ ♪ give me love give me love give me love give me love ♪ ♪ give me love yeah ♪ ♪ i want you i want you i want you i want you ♪ ♪ i want you ♪ ♪ give me love give me love give me love give me love ♪ ♪ give me love yeah give me love yeah ♪ ♪ cuz love is holding back i know i've done you wrong ♪ ♪ love leave me i'm alright i'll see you in the morning ♪ ♪ and loving is holding back and i have been in mourning ♪ ♪ cuz love is holding back i know i've done you wrong ♪ ♪ an now you've been holding ♪
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