good night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- mark wahlberg, sofia black-d'elia, and olympic gold medalist chloe kim, plus music from spoon. and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: well, thanks. hi, everybody. oh, thank you, thank you. welcome. please. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for joining us here in sunny california where the unmasking has begun. as of today, the statewide indoor mask mandate for vaccinated individuals has been lifted. which is a shame because i was

just about to get a nose job. [ laughter ] if you got the shots, you no longer have to wear a mask indoors. and yet, i look out into our studio audience and see masks on every face. that's because in l.a. county we're still required to mask up. unless you're at a football game. in which case you don't have to wear a mask at all. [ laughter ] the rules are very clear. right, guillermo? >> guillermo: i got it. >> jimmy: repeat them back, if you would. >> guillermo: they are. counting -- no more masks, but here in l.a. county we have to wear a mask. >> jimmy: not really. >> guillermo: did i say it right? >> jimmy: not really. >> guillermo: it was cold today. >> jimmy: it was 60 degrees. we think that's cold. it was 85 on sunday. i shouldn't complain though. we have it pretty good here, weather-wise. the rest of the country is really cold. this is from massachusetts where this poor kid, all the boy wanted was to shoot some hoops.

[ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: isn't that the saddest thing you've ever seen? and now the long wait for spring. [ laughter ] like something that would happen to charlie brown, you know? [ laughter ] speaking of inflated orange balls, donald trump is probably bouncing off that wall he never built. court documents have revealed that trump's longtime accounting firm dropped and distanced themselves from their most famous client. the firm, called mazars, sent a "dear don" letter to the trump organization saying, "we write to advise that the statements of financial condition for donald j. trump for the years ending june 30th, 2011, to june 30th, 2020, should no longer be relied upon." and, "we have come to this conclusion based, in part, upon the filings made by the new york attorney general, our own investigation, and information received from internal and external sources." in other words, we are not going to prison with you, mr. trump.

the new york attorney general and manhattan district attorney have been trying to determine whether the insurers, lenders, and others trump dealt with were misled about the strength of his finances. let me save you guys some trouble. they were. absolutely. mazars said they could no longer work for the trump organization. and i tell you. there's nothing more depressing than getting dumped by your accountant during tax season. it's like getting divorced on christmas eve. i like the idea of donald trump now angrily setting up a turbotax account. to get his taxes done. a lot of people believe this could be it for donald trump. this could be the one. i don't know. how many "the ones" have we had now, like 400 or something? last week we found out he was flushing documents down the toilet. the week before that he wanted homeland security to seize voting machines. he's still on the loose, what else do we need to know? well, here's one. according to multiple sources, they're having trouble piecing

together his phone records on january 6th because trump had a habit of making calls from other people's phones. he would pick up other people's phones because he didn't want the white house staff listening in. even used the personal phone of a secret service agent to call melania when the stormy daniels story came out. trump was on the golf course. the story came out. he's like, oh-oh. he tries to call melania from his phone but she didn't pick up. so he called her from the secret service agent's phone and she picked up right away. anyway, i guess what i'm saying is -- happy belated valentine's, you two. donald trump being on the golf course when the stormy daniels story came out might be the least surprising surprise in the history of presidenting. meanwhile, trump's terrible kids are making the rounds, desperately trying to protect the golden goose. last night, eric took time out of his busy schedule to promote

this made-up hillary clinton "spying" case they're now pumping into the fox news viewers' soft, oatmeal-like brains. >> hillary rodham clinton as new york resident. let me break that down for you. she lives in chappaqua new york. trump tower is located on fifth avenue in new york. where are these prosecutors? where is the d.a.? isn't that federal -- isn't that fraud? isn't that all sorts of offenses? >> jimmy: uh, uh, all sorts of offenses? i don't know. i never noticed what a voice -- why is ivanka's voice more masculine than eric's? high pitch eric. if you want to know where the prosecutors are, the answer is gathering evidence against your grifter father. that's where they are. trump isn't the only prominent member of the magaverse having legal troubles. a manhattan judge and jury today rejected sarah palin's lawsuit against "the new york times." they said there wasn't enough evidence to prove "the times" defamed her in an editorial

from 2017. so i guess she traveled all that way on her dogsled for nothing. i have to say, between elections and lawsuits and "the masked singer," sarah palin is one of the most versatile losers in history. she's got range. meanwhile, palin 3.0, congresswoman marjorie taylor greene, last week you may have heard, she confused the word gestapo with gazpacho. we all made fun of her. so last night, klan mom zoomed in with oan where host dan ball bent over so far he could taste his own last name to butter up his big-name guest. >> marjorie taylor greene, congresswoman, thanks for coming on the program. cnn ripped you, msnbc, jimmy who-cares kimmel calling you a klan mom for the trump stormtroopers, whatever, they're so disgusting over there. but you've been having fun with this. it's a slip of the tongue. it happens. i screw stuff up. everybody does when you're on live tv rolling and rifting, right?

>> jimmy: yeah, right, just rolling and rifting. whatever rifting is, i'm not exactly sure. so then, to make some kind of point about how unfairly they're treated, dan, who comes off like seems to be, what would happen if kirk cameron went to the columbia school of broadcasting. showed a series of clips of president biden getting things wrong. >> in the cvc parking lots and walgreen parking lots. i forget the other one he mentioned. ppp, the mask and the gowns and all the gear. >> and those are just the acronyms joe couldn't get right in the last year. we've all seen the gaffes where he brain farts people's names, messes up words, and not one peep from jimmy kimmel and the mainstream media. yet you mess up one word and you're the devil. >> jimmy: yeah, no. she's not the devil, the devil is smart. and by the way -- the devil, he's a clever guy. if joe biden walked into

restaurant and ordered a bowl of gestapo, you better believe i'll mention it. that is my commitment to you. we've got a lot of oddballs running this country. not just on a national level. this is from a city council meeting last week in hudson, ohio, during which the now former mayor suggested allowing ice fishing in the park might somehow lead to prostitution. >> additionally, if you open this up to ice fishing, while on the surface it sounds good, what happens next year? does someone come back and say, i want an ice shanty? for x amount of time? if you then allow ice fishing with shanties, then that leads to another problem. prostitution. [ laughter ] just data points to consider. >> jimmy: okay, all right. i don't know how he got there.

he now claims that was a joke. but a hilarious delivery, by the way. [ laughter ] very deadpan. but he resigned on monday. which -- i don't know, maybe that was a joke too. maybe he didn't. it did make me curious. maybe there's some link, maybe there's something between prostitution and ice fishing we didn't know about. i did a thorough search of prostitution and ice fishing. and no, there isn't, there's none. [ laughter ] the mayor was just lonely in his shack. [ laughter ] this is the other major scandal on ice. kamila valieva. you know who she is? she's a russian figure skater who is favored to win gold. she tested positive for a banned heart medication that's said can boost endurance in humans. she was tested on christmas, the results didn't come back until last week. so now she is in first place, but they're planning to delay the medal ceremony until a full investigation is done. so nobody gets a medal until they know. and her excuse is a doozy. she claims the reason she tested

positive for heart medication is because her grandfather takes it and it somehow accidentally got in her. her lawyer said maybe her grandfather drank something from a glass, saliva got in, the glass was somehow later used by the athlete. ah, the old "must be from grandpa's saliva" defense, huh? [ laughter ] we've all shared a big, wet cup of water with granddad, haven't we? [ laughter ] i think the real question is, how much of your grandfather's saliva are you coming in contact with and why? [ laughter ] she tested positive for three substances that can be used to treat heart problems. imagine how devastating that must be. you train your whole life to be in the olympics, you follow all the rules, put in all the hours, eat only the right things, and last minute, you accidentally take your grandfather's heart medicine. [ laughter ] why does this keep happening to russia? these poor people. will you leave them alone? [ laughter ] speaking of drugs, there are too many olympic events going on for me to keep up with, so i've enlisted the help of a young man who has a lot of time on his

hands. let's welcome him now from his place in buchanan, michigan. say hello to freddie the stoner. [ cheers and applause ] hi, freddie. how are the olympics going? >> hey, those olympics, man. those olympoids are going at it, brother. >> jimmy: is that what you're calling them? >> it's a form of cannaboid. it's something to do with the russian doping scandal. it's everywhere, everybody's got olympiod fever. >> jimmy: how high are you from bronze to gold? >> i'm like a shiny gold statue. an oscar. >> jimmy: all right. so you've been watching the games for us. you made a chart to keep track o the medals? >> oh, i have, i'm glad you asked. here, check it out, everybody. this is fred's olympic gold

medal chart. >> jimmy: uh-huh. and that's up to day date? >> the top teams so far. all right. well, i am glad you asked. [ laughter ] what we have here is the norwegians, they're doing what norway does best, which is olympic sports. in the wintertime. [ laughter ] they've got 12 gold stars right now. i mean, gold medals. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> this is seven snowballs. i mean, silver golds. silver medals. and then they got some bronze, which are -- those are turds. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i noticed that, yeah. i guess you don't have a bronze-colored marker there. >> well, you know. sme people are gold stars, some people are, well -- they're b.s. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. freddie, have you ever had the chance to speak to an olympic gold medalist? >> never. >> jimmy: never. i would like to introduce you to

one, then. fresh off her second consecutive gold medal in the women's halfpipe. she's representing us in the united states. please welcome chloe kim! [ cheers and applause ] how are you? thank you for coming. chloe, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] you know this yong lady? >> yeah. bad-ass. >> jimmy: that's right. [ cheers and applause ] two olympics in a row. that's freddie right there, chloe. >> hi, freddie, i'm so excited to meet you. >> peace be with you, keep shredding, man. [ laughter ] i saw what you did. >> jimmy: freddie's like a snowboarder who can't snowboard. [ laughter ] chloe, thank you for being here. again, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] i wanted to give freddie a chance to ask a question, are you ready? >> yes, yes.

>> jimmy: freddie, you got one shot, one question for two-time gold medalist chloe kim. go ahead. >> oh, uh -- dude. [ laughter ] did you jump the wall while you were out there? >> no. but we actually -- >> jump the wall! >> we talked about it. we were talking about it. >> oh no way, for real? >> yeah, no, no way. >> jimmy: great question, freddie. [ laughter ] >> usa! jump the wall, jump the wall! >> jimmy: chloe, thank you for bringing so much honor to this ridiculous country. [ laughter ] and for chatting with freddie. chloe kim, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show tonight. sofia black-d'elia is here. we've got music from spoon. and we'll be right back with mark wahlberg. thanks, freddie. [ cheers and applause ] what if smartphones were more than just smart? the all new google pixel 6 truly sees you.

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>> jimmy: hi, welcome back to the show. tonight, from "single drunk female" on freeform, sofia black-d'elia is with us. then later, great band. their new album, "lucifer on the sofa," just came out last week. spoon from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] spoon is on tour right now. you can see them at the hollywood palladium on june 2nd. tomorrow night, robert pattinson and foo fighters will be with us. [ cheers and applause ] and on thursday, ringo starr and another olympic gold medal winner shaun white will join us. [ cheers and applause ] 25 years ago, our first guest dirk-diggled his way out of music into a major movie career. next, he teams with tom holland to chase down $5 billion worth of treasure. "uncharted" opens in theaters friday. please say hello to mark wahlberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

>> jimmy: very good to see you. we have a big announcement to make. mark wahlberg is starring in "the guillermo story." [ laughter ]re >> that's my dream. it's in development. >> jimmy: what's with the moustache? that is for a part or a treat for your wife for valentine's day? [ laughter ] >> my wife does not like the moustache. actually, i play sully in the movie, a long story i'll tell you later. i had the moustache, i wore it in the next movie. i tried to convince the filmmaker i'm working with next to wear this moustache, they said, absolutely not. [ laughter ] after the movie premieres, i'm going to shave it off, then

hopefully i'll be able to sleep in my room again. >> jimmy: does any part of you get a kick out of the fact that she hates the moustache? >> absolutely. [ laughter ] absolutely, i get a little more quiet time, she's not talking to me, you know. but it also -- it really was, for sentimental reasons, when i first wore the moustache, my sister, all my siblings, said "oh my god, you look so much like dad." which was a big compliment. >> jimmy: wow. >> yes, so i'm wearing it in honor of him as well. >> jimmy: i see. [ cheers and applause ] did you do anything for valentine's day? do you celebrate? >> of course we're supposed to celebrate. i always send -- i'll send flowers from each child leading up to valentine's day. >> jimmy: each child? >> all four kids, then a big bouquet from myself. >> jimmy: wow. >> this year she was like, you know what, let's not get anything for each other for valentine's day. i actually believed her for the first time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> when i got into my bathroom in the morning, a card, three gifts, rose petals, and i'm

like, holy -- so i try to figure it out. i did have the flowers coming anyway and a card. but we were supposed to go on a trip. so hopefully she'll still go with me on the trip. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she's the one who said nothing? >> she said nothing. >> jimmy: did she forget? >> i made a reservation for dinner. and then she was like, no, let's just go another time. then of course i got in trouble for saying okay to that too. [ laughter ] and it was cool. it's like, i'm on an early schedule, i got the 4:30 reservation, i can make it seem like i rented out the whole place because nobody's there yet. [ laughter ] but it didn't work out. >> jimmy: why do you go at -- is that because you're hungry? because you get up so early to work out? >> it is, yeah. i'm on this kind of weird thing. i put on 30 pounds for my last film. so i've been trying to lose that weight. i started fasting. i've been eating in the six-hour window. i feel better than i've ever felt. >> jimmy: that's in the window? 4:30? >> yeah, 12:00 to 5:00. 4:30, get in there. then i make her order right away. [ laughter ] she's like, i haven't looked at the menu yet, i don't know what i want. i'm like, you know what you like, can you look at the menu?

she's like, maybe i want something to drink first. i'm like, oh my god. >> jimmy: did you meet chloe kim? i know she wanted to meet you. >> i did, she tried to set me and up sabotage me. first we started talking about golf. her boyfriend plays at my club. okay, let's play golf. she's like, let's go snowboarding too. okay. she's like, i'll put you in the halfpipe. i said, you're going to put me in the hospital. teep, go. you know what's going to happen. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a lady comes in, skiing downhill with you on the stretcher. >> jimmy: yeah, you're on tmz going by on one of those little snowmobile ambulances. >> i can't do that. find me some powder and a nice blue, green -- >> jimmy: the family goes and snowboards? >> i took the boys on a boys' trip to montana, it was a blast. we were going to go this year and i was like, probably should quit while i'm ahead. i got a movie coming up. >> jimmy: seems to me you're eliminating all the fun from your life. [ laughter ] am i wrong on this?

>> i can have enough fun on the golf course to last me a lifetime. as long as i'm not going to the hospital, i've had enough injuries in my day. i'm trying to be smart in old age. >> jimmy: i wish we could have young mark wahlberg meet you. [ cheers and applause ] you know? >> i could probably talk my way out of it. i don't think you want to meet young mark wahlberg. [ laughter ] you never know what you're into. >> jimmy: i know young mark wahlberg of ruffian friends. that older mark wahlberg still has in his life. yes? >> all my friends are always going to be my friends. with the entourage, i've always kept people around me that i know are my friends, they love me for me, they have my best interests at heart. we get them to do, and i do crazy stuff, to entertain each other. yeah. >> jimmy: you also employ them? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: they work for you? >> they don't work for me. i pay them but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. >> i ask them to do something, i get the crazy look.

like what? hours? you get paid so it's kind of a job, but you know. >> jimmy: do you have to worry about them around celebrities? are they starstruck? >> oh my god. that's a whole other can of worms. a million stories i could tell you. most recently, we went to a restaurant in santa monica. and three of the greats, the all-time greats. >> jimmy: who are they? >> billy crystal, rob reiner, albert brook. they're all having dinner with their wives. oh my god. i grew up watching these guys. my friend is like, who is that? what do you mean, who is that? i've got to get their check, i tld the waiter, don't tell them it's me. i think i'm going to prank him and them because he doesn't know who they are. i said, tell them you're a rare prince. he's got all the jewels on. >> jimmy: a what? >> a prince. from a very rich country. he goes over there, he doesn't know who they are. they're kind of looking to see -- me and this guy and my son are there. he goes up, "i love your music!"

they're like what? [ laughter and applause ] billy crystal gets up and gives him a big hug. i said, i'm doing an oil and gas deal with him. they said, can you get in? no. next day they sent a nice note because we paid the check. but he didn't know who they were, i couldn't believe. >> jimmy: how old is this guy? >> 54. [ laughter ] he's primetime. "all in the family." there's so many things. >> jimmy: you've got sharp guys around you for sure. [ laughter ] >> he's also head of security, by the way. >> jimmy: well, i'm not one to talk. >> you can come work with me any time. >> jimmy: mark wahlberg is here. we're taking a look at "uncharted" when we come back. [ mid-tempo music playing ] ♪ ♪ why don't you do cool spins?

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found it. >> excuse me, guys? >> hand it over, victor. give me the cross. >> you haven't said please. >> sully, hurry!

>> shut up, i'm working on it. >> i'll shut up when you get us the hell out of here! sully, you don't turn that damn key, we're going to drown! >> it's going to take a little longer than i thought, kid. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's mark wahlberg in "uncharted" which opens friday in theaters only. tom holland. does tom at any point switch into his spider-man outfit during this film? [ laughter ] >> he does not. but if people want it, we'll do it in the sequel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you play sully. how many sullys do you know in your life? >> hundreds. [ laughter ] i mean, that's the most common nickname. all of my friends have nicknames. i have ten nicknames. sully is definitely the most popular. >> jimmy: what's your most offensive nickname they gave you, your friends? >> i couldn't say on it television. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, too bad? >> yeah, i still get called it every once in a while. >> jimmy: everybody you grew up with had a nickname? >> everybody. >> jimmy: rattle a few off, i

like them. >> oh, well you met donkey. you met nacho. you met spukky. you met a bunch of them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there was a guy named hector the bootie inspector? >> hector the bootie inspector. >> jimmy: still inspecting booties? >> absolutely. no, no, no, still. that's a full-time job. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you in touch with him? >> i will be now. i'll definitely get a phone call. >> jimmy: this movie's only in theaters. this is not on -- >> no, this is a movie for cinemas. we all know, we need to -- it's so nice to be back here with a crowd, an audience. [ cheers and applause ] go to your movie theater. going to a concert, going to a restaurant, people have been sequestered for too long. it's nice to get people back. >> jimmy: you are very fortunate, the timing on this, really. >> sony's been putting movies out in the cinema with "ghostbusters," "spider-man," "venom." they are not going away from the theatrical experience.

i love it. i want people to go back to the theater. i tested "father stu" and it's amazing to see people laughing and crying and interacting again. >> jimmy: you went, did they know you were in it? >> they didn't know i was in it. i'm in the back. they say i'm "swaying the audience." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's true. >> i would have went up and performed "good vibrations." [ cheers and applause ] you know me. >> jimmy: wouldn't it have been great. you were at the super bowl. at the end of the halftime show you got dr. dre, eminem, snoop dogg, kendrick lamar, et cetera. then you come out and bust it all down. [ laughter ] there you are. it looks like you're mad. we all saw this at the super bowl. wondering what you're so angry about. >> you know what it is? i wasn't paying attention. i hadn't turned on espn. i thought the patriots were still in the game. [ cheers and applause ] what happened to my patriots? >> jimmy: you must be working too much. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so anyway, we have a

nice -- our friends at imax have given us something to our studio audience here. [ cheers and applause ] each of you will get a ticket, a pair of tickets, to go see mark wahlberg's new movie "uncharted" -- [ cheers and applause ] in imax theaters. it opens on friday. and you never know. because sometimes you go to these movies, if you go see a mark wahlberg movie, you just look behind you, there might be a guy with a moustache in the back. [ laughter ] >> i can tell you what, on friday i will be going to random theaters around l.a. because i want to see the reaction to the movie. we used to do that all the time. whenever you had a movie opening, you wanted to go to the theater, see if people were waiting in line, watch the movie a bit. if it goes well, after you thank people for coming. if it doesn't, you sneak out the door. [ laughter ] the great thing about this, this is a good, old-fashioned movie. like "indiana jones," it's an adventure.

it's fun. based on a video game but you don't have to have played the video game. this is for the whole family. i'm excited about it. >> jimmy: mark wahlberg, everybody. "uncharted" opens friday in theaters only. we'll be back with yehya's exclusive review of "uncharted." looking to get back in your type 2 diabetes zone? once-weekly ozempic® can help. ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic®! ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ ozempic® is proven to lower a1c. most people who took ozempic® reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. and you may lose weight. adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. in adults also with known heart disease, ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as heart attack, stroke, or death. ozempic® helped me get back in my type 2 diabetes zone. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it.

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>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. whenever there's a big movie about to be released into the world, we send our in-house

critic to give us a sneak peek and we've done it again. this is our man on the seat, yehya, talking about the new mark wahlberg/tom holland movie "uncharted." >> hi, it's me, yehya. you record it now? hi, it's me, yehya! i talk about the new movie. the new movie behind me. is called "unicocortanon." you have a lot of action, in the air, in the ocean, in the desert. and the young boy, dom haland, he did the movie spider-man, is now he do like indiana jones. in that movie, you know we make a movie, like "sonic-a." you know, the blue. and the mark wahlberg, he's in the movie. actually, mark wahlberg, he so nice guy, i know many, many --

is biggest star, you know. you do the movie, it's like "military kingdom." in the movie monkey, she love mark wahlberg. i don't know mark wahlberg likes so the lady but she monkey. >> what? >> he make the movie with georgia clooney in the ocean. everybody in the boat die for fish. he do music. ♪ come on come on ♪ >> it's pure hip-hop, you know what i'm saying? >> permission for underwear, buy my underwear. do not buy one, it's come like maybe six in the back. >> you know what i can give you. >> then your friend, go watch-a the movie. it's so good. don't worry about corona. bye! >> do not take medical advice from yehya. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. we'll be back with sofia black-d'elia! [ cheers and applause ] before, it got started with a key. then a button.

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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: we've got music from spoon on the way.

our next guest is a woman you know from "your honor," "gossip girl," and "the night of." now she plays an alcoholic who moves back in with mom in the new comedy "single drunk female." watch it thursday nights on freeform and on hulu the next day. please welcome sofia black-d'elia. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm good. last time you were here, quite some time ago. >> awhile ago, yeah. >> jimmy: just to recap, your dad is a judge in new jersey. >> that's right. >> jimmy: and then i learned that -- well, explain what happened. >> we talked a lot about my dad, which he loved. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> very much. >> jimmy: good. >> and he was really touched and i think kind of thought maybe you guys would become friends. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> because we talked about him. so he sent you a box of cigars. >> jimmy: right.

>> with a thank you note for being so kind to me, which you were. i know. >> jimmy: very nice. >> really sweet. jimmy did not respond. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> my dad is very offended. >> jimmy: well. i -- first of all, i don't blame him. secondly, never got the cigars. >> i believe you. >> jimmy: thirdly, where are my cigars, guillermo? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: oh my -- i gave to it your assistant. [ laughter ] >> someone got some nice cigars. >> jimmy: i'm very meticulous, some might say neurotic, about thank you notes. i would have written him one. >> i'm sure. >> jimmy: i wrote a note to take to him. >> he'll love that so much. he will expect you'll be friend. >> maybe we will be friends, i don't know. maybe i'll be a defendant in his court. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you got married since the last time i saw you. >> i did, i got married in october. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we have a photograph here of you and your husband and your dad officiating. now, is that legal?

for a father to -- because like when they say, who gives this bride away or whatever. he'd be like, "oh, i mean, it's me in this case." right? >> right. yeah. it was pretty weird. he did a great job. we found out afterwards that we actually are not -- we didn't do it right. we're not legally married. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your dad didn't do it right? >> he did it right. my husband and i -- well, my partner and i -- [ laughter ] we didn't do it right. we got the wrong certificate or something. we messed it all up. so i've been -- we tell people we got married, but i guess technically we're not married. >> jimmy: are you going to take care of that? >> we should. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you should, yeah. >> definitely should. >> jimmy: you might want to wait and see, right? >> i mean -- like what are the repercussions for that? >> jimmy: they're -- well, there's a tax repercussion. you may have broken a law, actually, if you filed jointly. >> huh. [ laughter ] okay, great. okay, good.

good thing my dad's a judge. >> jimmy: well, yeah, although sounds like he's not too clear on the rules either. [ laughter ] >> what if we wrapped him up -- is this a crime? >> jimmy: yeah, you guys are going to be in the cell along with the trumps. [ laughter ] >> that would be very bad. >> jimmy: how was the wedding itself, the whatever you want to call it, the party? >> the ceremony. yeah, it was great. it was really small and beautiful. i was very late. but everything else -- >> jimmy: were you really? >> really late. there's kind of a crazy accident in the holland tunnel, and i was -- i think over an hour late. >> jimmy: you were driving separately? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and your -- the guy -- >> the guy that i was supposed to marry, yeah. >> jimmy: in the tuxedo. [ laughter ] he stood there nervously, maybe? >> yeah, i think a lot of people were like, she's in traffic. it was funny. but i think quietly he was quite scared. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did he have reason to be nervous? were you reluctant at all? >> no, we've been together seven years. i was super stoked to do this, despite the fact that we didn't actually do it. [ laughter ]

yeah. i was really excited. but everyone else, no one else hit traffic. i guess it did seem a little suspicious that suddenly i hit traffic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is your husband -- again, what's his name -- >> henry. >> jimmy: what is henry's nationality? >> oh. we're jewish, is that a nationality? no, that's a religion. >> jimmy: it's kind of both of those things. okay, so he's used to your family, the jewish-italian -- >> he's not italian if that's what you're asking. very much not italian. >> jimmy: how is he acclimating to family dinners? >> he's much better now. >> jimmy: oh. >> he's gotten louder so we can actually hear him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good, good. >> i didn't really realize how loud we were and how many conversations happen at once at my house, until he came. and i was like did you ave fun? he's like, i literally have no idea what anybody said. [ laughter ] not a clue. and so he would be very quiet for the first few dinners. now he screams insults at people, he fits right in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good. have you ever had problems

bringing boyfriends back to the family? >> it wasn't a problem for me. i think maybe for them, it wasn't very fun. >> jimmy: i see, yeah, right. >> my family is, you know, like some of my cousins would kind of play into the stereotype a little bit. pat some people down. make them feel really uncomfortable. >> jimmy: i see, yeah. >> i have some cousins that are actually scary. [ laughter ] they're not playing into the stereotype, they're just scary. >> jimmy: right. who's your scariest cousin? >> my cousin vinny. [ laughter ] i'm not kidding. >> jimmy: yeah, no, i mean, you have to have a cousin vinny. >> i have four. little vinny, big vinny, and the other two are just vinny. >> jimmy: four cousin vinnys? >> yes. >> jimmy: that's a lot. >> only one is scary. >> jimmy: we'll let him figure out which one he is. >> he knows. >> jimmy: he knows. are they all watching you on this show play a single drunk female? >> i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: are your parents bursting with pride that their daughter is the single drunk female? [ laughter ] >> i think so.

yeah. >> jimmy: do they give you reports on what they think of the show? >> they do. my mom's really thoughtful and sweet. and loves the show. you know, it's like a very sweet show about recovery. she's very moved by it. my dad's comments are always about my facial expressions, which i find really weird. it's like he doesn't listen to the show, he just sees it or something. [ laughter ] but like that -- for some reason, that to him is the mark of a good actor, when you make good facial expressions. so yeah, he calls me after, "that one look you gave that one person was amazing." i'm like, "but do you like the story? what about the characters? "doesn't care. >> jimmy: maybe he's gotten used to not listening to anything going on at dinner, and he's just looking at faces now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: please again apologize to him. >> i will. >> jimmy: also, i have a thief here at my show. and i need to figure out who it is. or maybe -- [ laughter ] maybe the thieves on your end. maybe cousin vinny got ahold of those cigars. >> they could have been

intercepted before they even arrived. >> jimmy: either way, we've got some problems that we have to sort out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. the show is "single drunk female." watch it thursday nights 10:30 on freeform, on hulu the next day if you're too busy on thursdays. we'll be back with spoon! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank mark wahlberg and sofia black-d'elia. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, robert pattinson and foo fighters with music from fire city funk. "nightline" is next, but first, their album is called "lucifer on the sofa." here with the song, "the hardest cut," spoon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you took off in the dead of night but before you did got your hair ♪

♪ combed right, yeah the neighborhood watch knows the score and they're knockin' ♪ ♪ at your door let 'em knock some more ♪ ♪ they're sayin' you need a little protection ♪ ♪ but followin' the leader gonna turn you off the religion ♪ ♪ it's comin' down the hardest cut world wars in your mind long day into night ♪ ♪ the hardest cut we live on a knife here it come now here it come now ♪ ♪ here it is the hardest cut ♪ ♪ ♪ i took off in the dead of

night but before i did got my affairs in order ♪ ♪ and my boots on the hallelujah choir needs a score and they're knockin' ♪ ♪ at my door let 'em knock some more ♪ ♪ they're sayin' you need a little protection ♪ ♪ but followin' the leader gonna turn you off the religion ♪ ♪ it's comin' down the hardest cut world wars in your mind long day into night ♪ ♪ the hardest cut who's taking the knife ♪ ♪ here it come now here it come now ♪ ♪ here it is the hardest cut ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ it's comin' down the hardest cut world wars in your mind long day into night ♪ ♪ the hardest cut who's taking the knife ♪ ♪ here it come now here it come now ♪ ♪ here it is the hardest cut ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, business backlash. major brands from mcdonald's to coca cola joining cultural icons like new york's metropolitan opera to draw a line in the sand over russian aggression in ukraine. and joe biden taking action against russian oil and gas. >> defending freedom is going to cost. >> as americans find novel ways to make a difference. >> i want us to help in any way that i could. plus, the movie theater shooter speaking out for the first time since that shocking acquittal. curtis reeves opening up about the day he killed a man. >> had i left my gun at home, that's a good chance i wouldn't be here