wanda sykes. have a good night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- wanda sykes, michael cera, and music from weezer. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. how you doing? thank you. hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks a lot. thanks for joining us here. you feel that? spring is in the air. people's moods are elevated. spring has broken. yesterday was the first day of

spring, the "vernal equinox." "vernal" meaning "of, in or appropriate to spring," and "equinox" meaning "place that charges you $500 a month to use an elliptical." not that i do. in washington, they're holding a confirmation hearing for joe biden's supreme court nominee. judge ketanji brown jackson appeared before the senate judiciary committee today. unless something unexpected happens, the vote is expected to go along party lines. these hearings give a number of our republican senators a chance to compete in one of their favorite events, the subtle racism jamboree. but senator lindsay graham of south carolina got out ahead of that. he said he expects to be called racist at these hearings and made an interesting comparison when invoking the heated confirmation hearing of justice brett kavanaugh. >> there were headlines all over the country really accusing judge cavanaugh of being basically bill cosby. none of us are going to do that to you. and if any of us does that to

you, all hell will break out, and it should. >> jimmy: ummm, thanks? i guess. i disagree. i actually think they should treat ketanji brown jackson exactly like they treated brett kavanaugh, and interview every single person who has accused her of sexual assault. don't stop, even though there are none. do not stop. judge jackson would be the first black woman on the supreme court. [ cheering and applause ] she could get confirmed without a single republican vote since the vice president is the tie breaker. which would be the gop's ultimate nightmare having this decided by two black women whose names they can't pronounce. senator ted cruz was actually judge jackson's classmate at harvard law school. though she will not likely get his vote. he pontificated at length today about not turning this into a political circus, and worked in a plug for his podcast while saying that. but the big ted story today was i don't know if you've seen this, this was a video shot at

the bozeman, montana airport. in which a man who looks suspiciously like ted cruz has a heated exchange with an airline employee, and then after the airline employee, a police officer. apparently, he missed his flight and demanded to speak to the manager of the airport about a dozen times, to the point where they had to call in security. he should stay out of the airports, right? nothing good ever -- now you can't hear what is being said, but we were able to enhance the audio and this, according to our experts, is a pretty good approximation of what cancun karen was complaining about. >> jimmy: save it for the airplane bathroom, buddy. it's especially funny because just two weeks ago, ted was bragging about how much employees at the airport love him.

>> every week, i fly back and forth to houston. almost without exception, every time i'm on an airplane, either the captain or a flight attendant will come up to me, will hug me and say thank you for fighting for us. >> jimmy: and then immediately throw up. they vomit. there's no way he gets spontaneously hugged. can you imagine hugging ted cruz? donald trump hugs eric more than flight attendants hug ted cruz. all the characters from trump sylvania were out this weekend. remember rudy giuliani? recount dracula has emerged from his crypt for to make an appearance on a newsmax show called "wise guys." i don't know what this show is, but i like any show where the people being interviewed are also eating clams. >> i'm here with my lawyer and special guest for the sit-down, joining the family, america's mayor, rudy giuliani.

rudy, thank you. yeah! thank you. thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what a show. just rudy having a perfectly normal meeting at an olive garden with three "dick tracy" villains. nothing to see. eventually, they got around to asking rudy who let us not forget was in the middle of trump trying to hold back financial support of the ukrainian military in an effort to get them to make up stories about hunter biden. now, of course, the trump crowd says the war never would have happened under trump, and to explain why, giuliani shared a totally true story about a conversation that definitely happened between donald trump and vladimir putin. >> so he has a meeting with him, and he is telling them. they're talking about ukraine. and he says vladimir, maybe you shouldn't attack ukraine. well, you know, i never liked those -- what are those things

you got in moscow, those big bubbles, the gold bubbles. i never liked those things. so i'm going to have to blow them up. so putin says they're churches. oh, vladimir, don't tell me me tht about churches, dear god. churches. you can fool bush. you can't fool me. churches? thank you. >> jimmy: of all the bs in that story, the most unbelievable part was that there was something gold that trump didn't like. it's impossible. listen, if trump actually blew up things he didn't like, don jr's tenth birthday present would've been a grenade. trump hasn't officially announced if he's running in 2024, but he is running in 2024, and the pundits have already started crunching the numbers. according to a new poll by yahoo, trump leads biden by 43 points among unvaccinated voters. who might not even make it to te election. but you know trump. he loves the poorly vaccinated. they're not the only group that is solidly pro-trump.

he is also an overwhelming favorite among fireworks stand operators, iguana breeders, disgraced mall santas, manufacturers of husky golf pants, and former crackhead pillow salesmen. [ applause ] trump has not been -- i think he has a cold because his voice sounds funny. trump called into fox business channel this morning to say a bnch of dumb things about climate change, he again brought up windmills. and, of course, he had unkind words when it came to reviewing joe biden's performance when it comes to his buddy putin. >> he doesn't mix it up. he doesn't -- look, it's very sad to watch. i've watched it. i've seen it. but i listen to him constantly using the n-word. that's the n-word. and he is constantly using it, the nuclear word. >> jimmy: no, no, no. that's not the n-word. that's a different. spoken like a man who has no black friends. i'd love to hear what he thinks the f word is. if that's the n-word.

meanwhile, you remember that big truck convoy that was heading to washington from all points to protest the vaccine mandates, even though the mandates have been lifted pretty much everywhere now? that hasn't stopped the maga warriors continuing this trek towards d.c., which has been slow going, partly thanks to a very clever bicyclist. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that is what they call "poetry in motion." normally i hate bikers in traffic, but that one i love. i mentioned last week that mcdonald's is one of a number of u.s. companies that has opted to shut down operations in russia. they had around 850 restaurants there. and now, there are none. so a russian burger chain called uncle vanya's is capitalizing, ironically, they just filed to trademark this logo. that looks like a mcdonald's that got knocked on its side?

some have pointed out correctly that it is very similar to not only mcdonald's, but also, mcdowell's, from the movie "coming to america?" they'd better watch out. they could get sued by mcdonald's and eddie murphy. you don't want that. but there is a lot of demand for big macs and mcnuggets and such, and so uncle vanya and company are already making a big splash over there. >> mcdonald's pulled out of russia? goodbye, yankee clown food. now it's uncle vanya's. uncle vanya has same high quality food and meat and vodka cola, the real thing. bring kids for cool smiling meal. comes with toy. uncle vanya's, badabadaba. i'm dealing with it. >> jimmy: i think it's refreshing to see the russians trying to steal something other

than our elections for a change. back here in the states, the "don't say gay" nonsense, not only has it become a hot-button topic when it comes to schools, all of a sudden, it is affecting the animal community too. >> tonight, a local dog shelter -- or a local shelter dog is looking for a soft landing after being dumped by his owners because they say he is gay. >> a stanly county animal shelter facebook post says the dog's owner surrendered him to the shelter after he humped another male dog. >> jimmy: a male dog humping a male dog doesn't make him gay, it makes him a dog. in this situation, can we put the owner down? is that possible? [ applause ] thank you, guillermo. >> guillermo: you're welcome, jimmy. >> jimmy: for your support over the years. >> guillermo: always, jimmy, always. >> jimmy: a tradition we haven't done in a long time because of covid and lawsuits like that, we haven't done it in quite some time. we have done hit the year. runners around the world ran the

37th annual l.a. marathon. and with that said, look who is back, cousin sal. here he is. the return of cousin sal at the l.a. marathon. ♪ >> cousin sal here at the 37th running of the l.a. marathon. i'm way too fat and out of shape to run this thing, but that doesn't mean i can't help the tens of thousand men and women make their way to the finish line. watch. who wants it? who's got it? come on, come on, come on! come on, it's right to you! marathon brady. oh, why would i ever throw to you again? that was disgraceful. are you even running? are you even in this? all right. that was good.

go, go win this thing! hey, bear, hey bear, hey bear! i'm exhausted, by the way. you know what people need after 11 miles of running? turkey legs. who wants turkey legs? >> i'm vegan! >> turkey leg, yeah. gluten-free. covid free. does your bird want a bite of a turkey? that seems weird. whoa, all right. it wasn't a good idea. who is feeling covidy? we have a bucket of sanitizer. hollywood is kind of filthy. you want some? there you go, there you go. there you go. beautiful. oh, son of a -- quiet, please, quiet, please. a grandmother is sleeping. she had a rough night. three boxes of wine. let's just keep it down, okay? thank you. she loves them. these are her favorite, now and

later. thank you. quiet. she is sleeping. >> why is she sleeping? >> no, she passed away wednesday. good luck, though. no, i'm good. i'm good. thank you. "i'm a nurse," she says. here we go, limbo break! you don't step under it. this guy knows. do it, do it, do it. how low can you go? good lord, how is this going to happen? oh, you got it, big nigh. oh, he did it. quiet, please! trying to sleep in here. can you help us out with a survey? how satisfied are you with this year's marathon? >> very satisfied. >> how would you rate the route compared to other marathons you've run? better than most? average? did you experience any unexpected interruptions? >> no. >> very good.

do you think you'll have a heart attack before the conclusion? >> i hope not. >> i'm going to put down yes. thank you, more. anybody want to push my grandmother to the finish line? you'll do it? she doesn't have a lot of time left. go, go, grandma, go! [ applause ] don't forget me in the will! ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. we've got a good show tonight. michael cera is here. we'll be right back with wanda sykes. >> abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by canva.

>> jimmy: all righty. tonight from the new show "life and beth" on hulu, michael cera is with us. this later, this is their new ep. it's called "seasons, spring." weezer from the mercedes-benz stage. this will be their first of four weezer performances with us this year, one for each season, which this is season spring. you know what next one will be, guillermo? >> guillermo: summer. >> jimmy: that's why i have you around, "season, summer." we've never done this before. tomorrow night, our guests are jamie lee curtis and brian tyree henry, with music from coin. so please join us for that. our first guest is a great and award-winning comedian, actor, and writer who on oscar night serves as one-third of a trio of hosts. amy schumer, regina hall, and wanda sykes co-host the 94th annual academy awards sunday here on abc.

please welcome wanda sykes. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm doing okay, jimmy. how you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. you know, they shut down the whole neighborhood for you and your show on sunday. >> i just saw that. it's crazy. >> jimmy: that's when it sinks in that it's a big event. they have to actually close the neighborhood because of all the media that converges here. >> i guess it's a big deal, huh. >> jimmy: how did they ask you? who asked you? when did it take and how long did it take for you to reply? >> wow. okay. so, you know, i'm at work, and i'm working on the upshaw, because we're in production right now for season 2. >> jimmy: right. >> so i'm -- we're rehearsing that. and then on the side i'm doing ntes for history of the world

2. >> jimmy: with mel brooks. >> that's for hulu. [ applause ] >> so we're shooting that. and then my agent called and will packard wants to talk to you. he is the producer of the oscars. oh, okay, yeah. because that's what i need right now is another job, right. but i was excited because i want to work with will. and then when they say yeah, you know, you're going to -- you want the host the oscars with amy and regina. and i was like uh, i got to say yeah, right? you have to say yes. >> jimmy: i say yeah, sure. yeah. >> i was real excited about that. but then i realized that out of all the jobs that i have, this one is actually going to cost me money. >> jimmy: it is going to cost you money. because can you say how much you get paid for this? do you even know? >> i don't even know. it's like a scale probably. >> jimmy: it's less than that.

>> it's less than that? >> jimmy: yeah. i got paid $15,000 to host the oscars. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: and there is one of me. >> yeah, we probably have to split that. >> jimmy: which, you know, it sounds like a lot for one night, but it's months of work leading up to it. >> yes, yes. it's a lot of work. >> jimmy: you're getting robbed. hold out right now because they need host, you know. >> well, i already decided. i'm just going to steal an oscar. that's all. >> jimmy: you -- yeah, that happens. >> yeah. >> jimmy: when you're hosting with two other people, how do you decide who does what? like will you do a monologue together or just all shout out your jokes and whoever is the loudest wins? >> we tried that. >> jimmy: yeah? >> we tried that, see who was the loudest, and i won. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, i'm the loudest. but, no, we're going share a monologue at the top of the show. and then you'll see us in different, you know, either we'll be together. it might be two of us, might be

one of us. >> jimmy: i see. >> who knows. >> jimmy: i see. okay. all right. well, that seems like the way to do it. if you're going to have three hosts, that's the way to do it. >> right. >> jimmy: do you wish regina and amy weren't hosting the show with you? >> whoever gets drunk is the one that's going to be backstage. so if you see just amy and regina out, you can just go wanda's drunk. she's backstage. drunk. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's -- you know what? will you drink during the show? >> probably after the first act. >> jimmy: after the first act? you'll have some drinks? >> i probably will. yeah. because you get the big part out of the way, right? and then i'm like i'm here to have some fun. it's not like i'm getting paid, you know. >> jimmy: right. >> you get what you pay for. you want sober wanda, you got to add some more zeros and move that comma, you know what i'm saying? you're getting free wanda. >> jimmy: who are you bringing from your family to this show?

because that's where the money starts to add up. >> right, right. my wife is pretty much the only one. >> jimmy: your mom's not coming? >> i'm not flying any other relatives in, no. i thought about and i talked with my ma. you know how you do it where you ask, but you're really telling them you ain't coming? you know it's that, mom, you dn't want to come to this bull [ bleep ], do you? gentleman yeah. >> it's like that. it's like that, yeah. >> jimmy: and did she buy that? >> well, no. first of all, it's not like you're going to get a good seat. i'm going to be on stage working. you know, if i thought were going to be like sitting next to denzel washington, then i would fly you in. but you're going to be up in the bleachers, sitting next to the guy with covid. that's not good. you don't want that you don't need that in your life. >> jimmy: and she bought that, huh? >> she bought it. >> jimmy: yeah, right. your wife alex is going. and now are you -- does she like

going to this? >> oh my god. i'm surprised she is is not over there already. i'm surprised. >> jimmy: maybe she is. >> oh, my gosh, she is super excited. >> jimmy: does she like all events of this type or just the oscars? >> now she does. but this is like the creme de la creme, the oscars. >> jimmy: right. >> it's so funny, because at all and events would come up or, you know, the people would do an article, they put her name in the article. she would call my publicist, look, i would tell you that is wanda's job. it doesn't concern me, i'm a private person, please leave me out. oh, okay, cool. then we had the emmys, and she goes to the emmy, right? and she got hair extensions. all of the sudden now she is a kardashian.

she loves the red carpet now, oh, my gosh, she cannot wait. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: asking them for more money. it's coming up. i mean, really. if i can give you one piece of advice. >> ask for more money. >> jimmy: tell them to fly mom out. >> i'm going get good money for that oscar, i'm telling you. i'm not worrying about it. >> jimmy: if you sell the oscar for sure. you can be the first host to sell an oscar. oh, this is going to be great. this oscar is going to be on abc and ebay at once. wanda sykes is with us. we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by las vegas, the greatest arena on earth. kenan! hey kenan! looking good. feeling good. i just found all these cars on autotrader. wow! now wait for the best part there microwave. a dealer is gonna deliver this car to our home. never leave home, never leave home! woo, it's here! there's one thing... i can't do from home.

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♪ >> jimmy: we're back with wanda sykes. who as i mentioned, we're talking about is very, very busy. it's crazy that you're doing this while you're doing your show. >> right. >> jimmy: and also writing and performing in "the history of the world part 2" with mel brooks. >> yes. >> jimmy: there is kind of an all-star comedy team helping mel write this movie. >> right, right. >> jimmy: i know barinholtz is here. he is involved. nick kroll said he was involved. you are involved as well. >> right. >> jimmy: you get on these zoom meetings or is it in person? >> zoom was the bulk of it. and now we're actually in the offices, in the production offices. >> jimmy: so mel comes in, and you pitch jokes to him, pitch ideas to him? >> mel was on -- he was on the zoom. he was on the zoom. and i don't know if he's been in i've been on the upshaws.

so i go back and forth. he is funny, man. he is sharp. >> jimmy: he is crazy funny. >> yes, yes. yeah. >> jimmy: and not even the tiny bit less funny than he was 40 years ago. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: it's remarkable, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you just want to touch him and see if any of him will get on you, right? >> exactly, yeah, yeah. it's like man, if i -- you just think about it. he is 95 i believe? >> jimmy: in that neighborhood, yeah, yeah. >> you just think about that. if you're that old and can still be that just damn funny. >> jimmy: i'm glad he is on zoom for a lot of these things. >> right. >> jimmy: because you don't necessarily want him in a crowded room. we need him around. >> no, we don't. >> jimmy: you don't ever sneeze on him or anything? >> no. exactly. going to put him in bubble wrap, basically. >> jimmy: is there anything more rewarding than when he likes one of your ideas? >> what's better than that? >> jimmy: what could be better than that.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: and anything more devastating when he dislikes one of your ideas? >> that hurts. it hurts a lot. >> jimmy: does he tell you or kind of act like he didn't hear it and keep moving on? >> he doesn't even have to say he doesn't like it, you know. it's just that okay. what else you got? it's the what else you got, you go, okay, he didn't like that at all. >> jimmy: i know you have a lot going on. i want to ask you about a little video you posted on twitter. >> okay. >> jimmy: you're in london. >> right. >> jimmy: in quarantine, feeling maybe a little lonely? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: and you posted the following. >> never thought i'd say this, but i miss guillermo. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's our guillermo that you mis? why? why were you thinking -- >> i was here guest hosting for you. i was here for three nights. and yeah. >> jimmy: thank you again. and he is fun, right?

>> he is fun. he is fun. and then i was in london stuck in this stupid hotel. and, you know, you see the view they gave me. it was the courtyard. it was no people. so i'm just looking at this dumb courtyard. you know what? i had so much fun with guillermo. >> jimmy: guillermo had fun with you too. in fact, i don't know if you're aware of this, but he has written some jokes for you for the oscars. >> oh, boy. >> jimmy: you open to -- >> sure. >> jimmy: guillermo, you want to give wanda the jokes? he has written them. i'm sorry to make you cold read these. but guillermo did work on these. >> okay. i appreciate it. okay. hi, everyone. welcome to the oscars. for the last past two years, we didn't have a host at the oscars. that is like having sex by yourself. >> jimmy: oh. all right. that's the joke about what, guillermo? >> guillermo: about the oscars. it sucks.

having sex with yourself. it sucks. it's terrible. >> jimmy: see, when he explains it, it really hits. >> yeah. okay. oh, this one, the audience gets to participate. i like that. it's crowd work. >> jimmy: involve them. >> knock knock. >> who's there? >> do. >> do who? >> do not disturb. i'm hosting the oscars. >> jimmy: has anyone ever done a knock-knock joke on the oscars? >> you sure you want me to do this one? >> guillermo: yeah, sure. yeah. i think that's the best one. >> jimmy: okay. >> listen, everyone. i'm a little nervous hosting the oscars, but if jimmy kimmel did it, anybody can host the oscars. [ applause ] >> guillermo: sorry. >> jimmy: you better go back over that right now. >> guillermo: i go back to my corner. >> jimmy: feel free to use those or give them to regina if you

want. >> yeah, i'll give them to reregina. tell her you've written a couple of jokes. >> thanks. >> jimmy: i can't wait to see you do this. i can't think of a better choice. this is wanda sykes, everybody, the host of the 94th academy awards sunday on abc. we'll be back with michael cera. what if smartphones were more than just smart? the all new google pixel 6 truly sees you. not a blurry face. and for things you don't want to see, it removes them instantly with magic eraser. on our most advanced and inclusive smartphone camera yet. live translate speaks your language and hers. it's the phone that understands we're all different. google pixel 6. for all you are. (music throughout)

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♪ >> jimmy: hello, everyone. welcome back. music from weezer is on the way. our next guest started managing the family banana stand on the great show "arrested development," which led to "superbad" and many more works of note. his newest alongside amy schumer is "life and beth," it's on hulu now. please welcome michael cera. [ cheering and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: it's good to see you. >> you too. >> jimmy: i haven't seen you in a very long time. how long has it been. >> works of note. >> jimmy: nobody mentions that. i got to mix it up sometimes. but you do have works of note. we note them. they're notable even. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's been a long time. really, how long has it been since you were here? >> i really think i haven't been on this show for 15 years. >> jimmy: really? 15 years? >> for a specific reason. >> jimmy: okay. >> the last time i was here, i told a horrible joke that nobody laughed at, and it was a very traumatic moment. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. you probably don't remember. >> jimmy: well, i have that moment on a nightly basis. so no, i don't remember. what was it, do you remember? >> i basically intimidated an audience member. >> jimmy: you did? >> as a joke. >> jimmy: you're very intimidating. >> but the audience i guess pick up on the fact that i was

joking. so they got real upset. >> jimmy: what happened? what was the scenario? >> oh, it was so stupid. i think we were talking about me being from toronto. and you said oh, yeah, you grew up in toronto. and somebody in the audience went maple leafs. and i went yeah, yeah, maple leafs. and you asked and i'm sorry, jimmy, i lost my train of thought. so i stared the person down for a listening beat, waiting for the audience to laugh at some point. and they never did. and i guess you moved us along. >> jimmy: that's what we do. >> that night i watched the broadcast, and the moment had been snipped out. and i was so relieved and grateful. >> jimmy: oh, good. >> i can't describe the relief. i was waiting for that moment. and you saved me. well, hey, listen, i'm a good snipper, if nothing else. if you need a circumcision, i can do that too. >> i do. i'll say it. [ applause ]

>> jimmy: you're here with paul rudd. let's take a look. i think we have a photo from that. >> oh my god! >> jimmy: you were so young, so little back then. just a kid. just a little one. and you've grown so much. since "superbad." >> i just want to say because i hear people laughing and stuff. that clearly is doctored. >> jimmy: the photograph? >> yes. >> jimmy: no, i don't think it was. >> okay, well. >> jimmy: actually, you know what happened? we made me and paul much bigger is what it was. >> you guys are huge. >> jimmy: and that was your when you did "superbad," which was your first big movie, obviously. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you even remember that experience? >> yeah. >> jimmy: or is it something that went by like your childhood. >> it's a long time ago, but yeah, i remember it. one of the main memories of doing that movie is on one of the very first days of shooting, i fell out of a tree. this was not during shooting.

it was just during recreational time. i was climbing in a tree. and one of the trunks that to me seemed like a pretty sturdy trunk just came right off. and i went down with it. and something hit me on the way down and cut my lip open. so for the first few weeks of that movie, i was dealing with a cut lip and i couldn't smile or anything. i had a new girlfriend at the time and i was hanging out with her and never smiling. always looking very dour and telling her it's just my lip. >> jimmy: maybe that's what she dug about you. a lot of guys can't pull that off, really. >> she thought i had depth. >> jimmy: the injuries are what stick with you the most. >> yeah, you don't forget a thing like that. i've had a bunch. >> jimmy: you're very selective about what you do. and you did some -- you were nominated for a tony award. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which play was it you were nominated for a tony? >> which play? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was a play called lobby

hero. >> jimmy: is that the play you did with kieran culkin? >> no, that was another "this is our youth". >> jimmy: and you're close friends? >> kieran is one of my best friends. we did that several times together. we did it in australia at the sidney opera house. he and i bonded early on over both being degenerate gamblers. >> jimmy: what is your preferred? i know you play poker. sports? >> anything, really. >> jimmy: anything? >> yeah. i'll bet on two cockroaches running up the wall. >> jimmy: really? >> but me and kieran would blow through all our per diem. we had all this orange australian movie. at one point we stopped playing for money and started playing for humiliations. we started doing push-ups on demand, which you get a bank of push-up, whoever won, i would have 100 push-ups that i can make him do, but only in 20 push-up increments.

and you have to wait a little while after before you could make him do more. you could do it at any time. we would be out to dinner and the food would arrive and i'd be okay, i need 20 push-ups. >> jimmy: who he do them? >> couldn't do them on show on the stage. >> jimmy: this is at a restaurant? >> yeah, a restaurant. >> jimmy: so roman from "succession" is doing push-ups inside cheesecake factory or something like that? >> yeah. i mean, i haven't gone to cheesecake factory in a while. i had a bad food poisoning experience there. actually, that was during "superbad." it almost shut the production down. >> jimmy: what a mess that movie was for you. >> i ordered something like on page 15. the endless menu. i ordered a chinese dish. >> jimmy: it's larger than bible. >> i don't mean to besmirch cheesecake factory on live tv. it just came out. maybe you could snip this. >> jimmy: the way i see it, i know you're even.

>> i mean, you brought them up. >> jimmy: by the way, i started watching "life and beth." and i knew you were on the show. so i start watching it. i watch the first two episodes. there has been some mistake. he is is not on this show. >> yeah. i hope you push through. i come later on. >> jimmy: and then you showed up, and there you are, yeah. >> i've been telling them they should put some disclaim attorney early episodes. he is coming later. >> jimmy: my first thing was like oh, he is lying. he is pretending he is on this show, and how sad that is. >> just to get on here. >> jimmy: you want to talk about the character you play on this show? >> i'd love to, yeah. i play a character named john who's romantic interest for amy schumer. >> jimmy: the love interest for amy schumer. >> i know it's hard to believe. >> jimmy: i don't know. stranger things have happened. >> that's true. >> jimmy: i'm not going to reveal anything, because i think it is fun to see what's happening along the way on the show. >> yeah. i agree. >> jimmy: you are covered in blood when you meet amy for the first time. >> yeah. >> jimmy: or beth. >> beth. >> jimmy: is the character name.

>> exactly. >> jimmy: would be appropriate. and did you know amy beforehand? >> well, actually, not really. i had met amy at -- we were -- she was nominated for a tony as well. and we met at a tony's luncheon the year we were both nominated. and we kind of exchanged numbers, but i had left the country that night. i went to the uk to promote a project that i was promoting. and amy had texted me that night saying hey, we're all going to go to karaoke, why don't you come? but i didn't get the message until i landed back in the country. and i didn't recognize the number so i ignored it and deleted the text. a couple of years later she texted me and said hey, why did you never respond to me? i never got a text from you? who are you? verified who she was and kind of put it together. retroactively. no, i'd never really known her. she wrote this part and offered it to me and i was lucky to get in there. >> jimmy: you played hard to get

and she had a thirst for you she couldn't contain. >> sometimes it works out that way. >> jimmy: sometimes it does. the no smiling thing you did with that girlfriend. very smooth is what i'm saying. >> well, that relationship didn't pan out or anything. but. >> jimmy: well, the show has panned out, certainly. i know it's getting great reviews, and i really enjoy watching it. >> good. i'm glad you like it. >> jimmy: i look forward to seeing what happens along the way. if you watch the first two episodes, michael is not in it. did you get paid for the first two though you're not in them? >> i don'tknow. >> jimmy: we'll get wanda's agent on it. >> i can get the details for the closing monologue. >> jimmy: yes. if you don't mind, wait until after weezer and we'll come back and announce. >> i'll get you the announce >> jimmy: michael cera, everybody. "life and beth" is on hulu. we'll be back with weezer. ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

check out this vrbo. oh man. ♪ come on. ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ sandwiches shouldn't come from a tanning salon! they should be served straight from the fryer and piping hot. that's kentucky fried to order! kfc. it's finger lickin' good. >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank wanda sykes and michael cera. apologies to matt damon.

we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, jamie lee curtis and brian tyree henry, with music from coin. "nightline" is next, but first, their ep is called "seasons, spring." here with the song, "a little bit of love," weezer! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ a little bit a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ take a look at where you started from and where you are today ♪ ♪ you climbed mountains swam oceans you got knocked down and kept goin ♪ ♪ in the end you know you got to say a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ all your wounds are healing fine i'm so glad i got you in my life ♪ ♪ now the winter frost is gone

now is our chance to live the life we want ♪ ♪ a little bit a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ everybody everybody's lost and that's ok ♪ ♪ some show it some hide it but there's a battle we're all fighting ♪ ♪ so if you're looking for the words to say a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ holding onto the rabbit's feet walking down the sunny side of the street ♪ ♪ shadows creeping at your back you can forget em like an amnesiac ♪ ♪ a little bit a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ love is really like a wonder drug let's medicate ♪

♪ and say goodbye to the drama it's a bee line to nirvana ♪ ♪ if you're looking for the words to say a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ hey ho hey ho hey ho hey ho ♪ ♪ a little bit a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ take a look at where you started from and where you are today ♪ ♪ you climbed mountains swam oceans you got knocked down you kept goin ♪ ♪ in the end you know you got to say a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ ♪ hey ho hey ho hey ho ♪ ♪ hey ho hey ho ♪ a little bit of love goes a pretty long way ♪ [ cheering and applause ]